Brendan I. Koerner's Blog, page 99

The Criteria of Clowndom

In response to our tongue-in-cheek allusion to the Shriners in this post, a treasured reader noted that his uncle was a "Shriner clown." At first we took this to be some sort of jest, but The Tubes quickly proved us wrong: the fez-wearing brotherhood is darn serious about its clowning. In fact, the organization hosts frequent contests in which clowns vie for a range of coveted titles. The point of these events is to exude clown perfection, as outlined by the International Shrine Clown...

Bulletproof: The Mai Mai

Our second installment of the Bulletproof Project takes us to the eastern Congo, where Mai Mai militiamen have been wreaking awful havoc for years now. These soldiers are known not only for their brutality, but also their unwavering faith in dawa, or sinister magic. This belief became apparent to Western observers during the violent upheaval that followed Congo's independence, when various ethnic groups fought the idea of a centralized nation-state. The Kinshasa regime had the latest in...

Gone Too Soon

We first got turned on to Donny Hathaway by reading the liner notes for The Chronic. We were amazed by how many of the samples were copped from Extension of a Man, and so we saved up some hard-earned cash to buy the album. It's since become one of our favorites, a platter we've spun on countless occasions when we require sonic escape.

There's no telling where Hathaway's career might have taken him if he'd been born, say, a decade later. But during his early '70s heyday, medical science just d...

"Beam the Bomb"

After posting a vintage pro-SDI ad on Monday, we got to wondering about this "Coalition for SDI" that sponsored the spot. Who could be so bold as to create the risible "Peace Shield" euphemism?

We connected the dots back to Daniel O. Graham, who claimed to be the coiner of the term "Strategic Defense Initiative." The Coalition for SDI was just one of the Astroturf groups he organized with the assistance of the American Security Council. The whole tale of Beltway intrigue is spun splendidly...

The Sad Ballad of Snake Bite Jones

The man to the right of the pelican above is Bryan Vorster, a South African animal handler who loves to edutain the kids. Under the nom de scène Snake Bite Jones, he's long been a fixture at the Johannesburg Zoo, where he thrills audiences by trotting out a vast array beasts—including the vultures used in such cinematic gems as Lord of War and Blood Diamond. "We need to teach children to love animals," he insists, which perhaps explains why he continues to soldier on despite having been...

The Mother of All Marvin Covers

Our pal who lusts after a Mozambique holiday also co-hosts one of the best Internet radio shows you've never heard of: Fresh Produce, which broadcasts far too seldomly from "an undisclosed location in South London." The show's most recent installment kicks off with the Hot 8 Brass Band doing a bonkers cover of "Sexual Healing," featuring one of the most memorable breaks in musical history. See above for a live version, recorded in Paris last year. Highly, highly recommended.

The Vaccine Dream Deferred

An MIT economist argues that botched incentives, rather than scientific hurdles, are frustrating the quest for an HIV vaccine. The point that jumped out at us the most:

It has become increasingly apparent that an HIV vaccine may need to be administered in combination with antiretroviral drugs, even if a stand-alone vaccine remains the ultimate goal for some researchers. In that case, we will need to create stronger incentives for manufacturers of antiretroviral drugs to get into the business...

Stars and Stripes Pale in Comparison

A pal of ours recently quipped that he's always had a yen to visit Mozambique, albeit because he's always dreamed of traversing the sandy beaches of the Bazaruto Archipelago. No, our friend is attracted to the nation for a single, simple reason: he digs flags that feature weapons, and Mozambique's official banner certainly qualifies.

Given his proclivity for flags that nod toward bellicose intentions, where else should our great pal add to his dream itinerary? There are far more choices than ...

The Peace Shield

In response to Friday's post on the launch of our "Bulletproof Project," a commenter wryly noted that we should include the Strategic Defense Initiative among our list of magical shields. That quip naturally reminded us of this classic ad, in which a pro-SDI group tried to break down the appeal of Star Wars into the most elementary pitch imaginable. See, the crayons stop the ICBMs. Obviously.

Mark of the Least

Want to ruin your chances of attending a Chinese university? Simply get tattooed:

At the National Entrance College Examination of 2009, Zhong was accepted into a major university in Chongqing. But after the physical examination, the university ultimately refused to accept him because of the wolf head on his chest. Zhong's university dream was broken.

This strikes us as a terribly harsh penalty, especially considering that the supposed "crime" is one that Microkhan and millions of others have...