Brendan I. Koerner's Blog, page 98

Paint, Not Books

There's actually been a small silver lining to our newfound anxiety over the lead content in balsamic vinegar: it's got us thinking about education spending in a new way. How's that? Well, upon learning that our favorite salad-dressing base might well harm Microkhan Jr.'s neural health, we started thumbing through the literature on lead poisoning's effects on IQ scores. Once a body starts doing that, all roads inevitably lead to this 2003 study from the New England Journal of Medicine. Its...

Hippo on the Make

The recent dearth of posts has been due to a confluence of factors: a hectic sked of writing FOIA requests, the petty frustrations of trying to get the next Wired feature going, and the sheer agony of checking out potential preschools for Microkhan Jr. We're almost through the worst of it, though, and we'll be back to normal soon. In the meantime, check out the disco scene from Animalympics; we love how the hippo gets the corner tables, surrounded by what appears to be an avian harem.

The Colombian Necktie Half-Truth

One of our favorite slept-on tracks of recent years is "Cali Hustle", off the criminally hard-to-find Bay Bury-Ya compilation. In the song's final verse, Mac Mall kicks off his bars with this clever line:

Colombian neckties for small fries

We've always taken it for granted that such a grisly fate has befallen many a criminal during the interminable War on Drugs. But a couple of days ago, we started to dig a little deeper. And, lo and behold, the Colombian necktie is not all it's cracked up to ...

Six Months for a Jest

The Danes are not alone in their ability to infuriate pious Muslims with drawings. A Bangladeshi cartoonist has just been sentenced to six months in prison for a work deemed blasphemous. The original kerfuffle occurred two years ago, when Arifur Rahman's cartoon sparked riots in Dhaka. The offending artwork can be glimpsed here. The translation of the captions goes as so:

Boy, what is your name?

My name is Babu.

It is customary to add Mohammad before the name. What is your father's...

Transformation or Calculation?

One of our favorite scenes in The Godfather trilogy occurs near the beginning of the second installment, as Michael Corleone dances with his wife at a lavish party in honor of their son's First Communion. Kay Corleone asks her hubby when, exactly, the family will go legit—something that Michael promised several years prior. "I'm trying, darling," comes the reply, and the viewer isn't sure what to think—is Michael being honest with his missus, or does he have no intentions of ever going...

You Can't Stop the Horse

Late start today, due to the fact we stayed up late last night watching our beloved Colts mount a miraculous comeback against their archenemies. For the record, we think Belichick's gamble was a good one—the Pats had been unstoppable in short-yardage situations all night, and the Colts' D has been decimated by injuries. That said, we're glad the pigskin gods saw fit to spread joy in Indy.

Still Waiting for Our Mini-Chopper

It just seemed cruel to cap the week with Ms. O'Donnell's execrable work, so we're gonna give you a retro-futuristic treat: a World War II-era view of the rise of personal aircraft. The pamphlet's title really says it all: Will There Be a Plane in Every Garage? The answer, as you might surmise, is a qualified "yes," though the authors did foresee the mini-helicopter someday becoming Joe America's backup means of vehicular transport:

The helicopter will do many things that it is impossible...

"Thrillingly Embarrassing"

After a week's hiatus, Bad Movie Friday returns with a vengeance, in the form of the made-for-TV Rosie O'Donnell vehicle Riding the Bus with My Sister. Perhaps Ms. O'Donnell reckoned that her star turn as a mentally handicapped woman would be critic proof, as no one wants to be accused of insensitivity. But she didn't account for the sly critical genius of Virginia Heffernan, who set upon this stinker like a 13th-century Mongol horde upon a defenseless city on the steppe:

This underhanded...

A Life Spent in Limbo

Since 1983, the average amount of time a condemned American convict spends on death row has tripled to 153 months. Yet that mammoth stretch of time is nothing compared to that endured by Sadamichi Hirasawa. When he passed away from natural causes in 1987, the alleged mastermind of Japan's most infamous and lethal bank robbery had racked up 37 years waiting for the noose.

The eternal delay had much to do with the circumstances surrounding Hirasawa's conviction. The facts of the crime were...

"I Spray Like the Backside of a Skunk"

The rest of our day looks certain to be divvied up between childcare and working on a major secret project, so let us leave you with the latest from Big Boi—yet another track we got turned on to by the Fresh Produce crew. We can barely understand a word that guest star Gucci Mane slurs out, but it still sounds grand to our khanic ears.