Ira Heinichen's Blog, page 180

Day 2,612: Someone Fell

Merry Christmas Eve!!!

Christmas manages to sneak up on me every year, but this year in particular it really did. It’s usually the trip up north to see family that makes it start to set in, but we’re not able to do that this year, so I didn’t get that prompt.

Meanwhile, upstairs in the apartment above us, a party rages on, well past midnight. They’ve honestly been fine. Not too much of a disturbance. We can definitely hear them, especially when they were running—literally running—around ju...

Day 2,611: Creamy Beige

Five Farms Irish Cream.

Kill me now, because I’ve been to heaven.

I had it last year, actually, at Scott and Addie’s! Loved it last year, too. But, Liz and I went and got a bottle tonight just to be special, and we watched a holiday edition of GBBO featuring the cast from Derry Girls and we cackled the whole way through. So good. I admit, I was skeptical of watching an episode of GBBO featuring a cast of celebrities rather than real bakers. I needn’t have been. They were AMAZING. So amazin...

Day 2,610: Finishing Bliss

Feeling that “finishing” bliss today. Powerful stuff. I love it.

I wrapped up a particularly challenging project at work today, or at least the grunt part of that work. Still some stuff to clean up here and there, but it’s majorly done. And right on time. Everything worked to plan.

I *love* that feeling.

So, taking a break tonight from the introspection just to bask in that feeling. It’s a mixture of exhaustion and accomplishment and…satisfaction, because everything is just where it sho...

Day 2,609: What is the fear?

So, what am I afraid of?

I rarely think about this. I more think of what I *want* and then worry about not getting it. But, I can reverse engineer my fear from that, can’t I?

I want to be liked, which means I’m afraid of not being liked.

I can remember the sting of being made fun of as a kid. It’s the same sting now. It makes my face feel hot and my throat get stopped up so I can’t speak. It makes my thoughts swirl so fast I can’t catch them.

I’m afraid of being stupid, or ignorant.

...

Day 2,608: If I Could Conquer My Fear

If I could conquer my fear, I could be a full-time author.

If I could conquer my fear, I would write for joy.

If I could conquer my fear, I would finish this intro to my new novel, send it to Craig Martelle, and finish the rest of it with him as my mentor and learn how to write well, quickly, and how to successfully publish.

If I could conquer my fear, I would write as much as I wanted, finish all the books I wanted, and even more I haven’t even thought of yet.

If I could conquer my ...

Day 2,607: One Small Step

I cleaned my office today.

It involved finally FINALLY packing up all the stuff I want to sell on eBay. It’s done. They’re ready to measure, weigh, and then be posted for sale. I started that project back in…August, I think? Four months later. Jesus. But, it’s nearly done.

I’m going to do the measuring and weighing tomorrow, and then post a couple items for sale and see how they do. I probably waited too long, too late in the year, but we’ll see. If I have to hold onto them for a little wh...

Day 2,606: Snuggie

Sitting in bed in a snuggle right now. Yes, those infomercial products of yore. The blanket with sleeves. It’s coming up clutch at the moment. And to think I almost got rid of them (we have two) this year! If I take a nap during the day, that’s what I usually use, and the dogs LOVE THEM. So glad I kept them.

We have our tree on a smart plug that we can turn on and off with our phones…and it’s the coolest freaking thing. I could turn on the tree right now from my bed if I wanted. Just like tha...

Day 2,605: Out of Sync

I’m out of sync creatively.

It happens. I don’t like it when it does, but here we are. I’m letting it be.

I wish I could write more about it. Maybe I’ll try that tomorrow. Right now…I kind of just feel like letting it be. It is what it is right now. I’m doing my best not to let it consume me, and honestly, it hasn’t been. I had a good day today. Work was good, if discombobulated, and tonight was good, too. Got to watch basketball and hang with Liz. Some really quality time with Liz, in fac...

Day 2,604: Let’s Get Down to Business

A better day today!

Man…it really was because I got up on time. Simple as that. I had a decent writing session—solid, truly—and got to work on time, got my work done on time, even had a chance at the end of the day to get tomorrow’s podcast episode posted. It was such a better day.

Tomorrow’s podcast. We do a retrospective on the year, and we don’t hold back

Day 2,603: Oops

Ooops. Just like Britney, I did it again.

I slept through my second alarm this morning, so I got up late. This time, however, even though I really reeeeaaalllyyyy was fighting and didn’t want to…I did sit down and write this morning. It wasn’t for very long, but I did it.

I’m definitely in a funk on the writing side. Which is frustrating, because I wasn’t in a funk just, like, a week ago. Maybe two weeks ago. I was doing pretty well. It can turn quickly…but I do know this: it’s because I’m...