Iris Ruth Pastor's Blog, page 9

On My Way…

Well, if you are reading this column at 3pm on Friday, a mere few hours ago I landed in Warsaw, Poland after flying over the ocean all night – and hopefully sleeping while doing so.

Travel, obviously, has been on my mind. This week’s column is devoted to travel tidbits both amusing and profound.

When things go awry – and I’m sure they will – I’ll keep in mind these funnies.

“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag“Work, Travel, Save, Repeat.” – Unknown“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” – Susan Heller “Vacation calories don’t count. Right?” – Unknown“I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine.” – Unknown“I need six months of vacation, twice a year.” – Unknown“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker

In the same vein, I recognize I may be – at some point in my journey – jet lagged or constipated or cursing the fact that I packed all the wrong things. I will try to remember how inspiring travel can be.

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Andre Gide“Remember that happiness is a way of travel – not a destination.” – Roy M. Goodman“The most beautiful in the world is, of course, the world itself.” – Wallace Stevens“Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” – Ibn Battuta“A person susceptible to ‘wanderlust’ is not so much addicted to movement as committed to transformation.”  – Pico Iyer 

My mother always told me that whatever I was feeling has been felt by someone else before. Hence I treasure these quotes from people far wiser than me:

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – Augustine of Hippo“Live life with no excuses, travel with no regret.” – Oscar Wilde“Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.” – Dalai Lama“People don’t take trips, trips take people.” – John Steinbeck“It’s not what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.” – Mark Twain“Travel is about the gorgeous feeling of teetering in the unknown.” – Anthony Bourdain

And finally, I am so grateful that my husband Steven was able to take this trip with me:

“I would like to travel the world with you twice. Once to see the world. Twice, to see the way you see the world.” – Anonymous“It doesn’t matter where you are going. It matters who is beside you.” – Anonymous“What we find in a soul mate is not something to tame, but something wild to run with.” – Robert Brault“Go the distance. Couples who travel together are more likely to stay together and feel more connected.” – Anonymous“Here’s to all the places we went. And here’s to all the places we‘ll go. And here’s to me, whispering again and again and again and again: I love you.” – Anonymous

Keep Preserving your Bloom,

A Different Kind of Mother’s Day Message

Over the 38 years that I have been penning and publishing my weekly column, I have written a plethora of Mother’s Day messages.

Many centered on the travails of raising five feisty, highly energetic and divergent-thinking sons – who came up with more ways to hide beer in the back yard bushes than I would have ever thought possible.

Many columns centered on poking good-humored fun at my own mother. When my sister’s and my housekeeping standards didn’t measure up to hers, my mom would invariably comment: I don’t know how YOU PEOPLE live like this! (We managed.)

Or I’d glorify the feats of moms who were able to breast feed, prepare healthy, delicious dinners and run multi-national corporations all at the same time. (None of which I ever came close to achieving)

It’s just two days away from Mother’s Day 2024 and I am in a more pensive mood. 

Maybe it’s got to do with the rampant anti-Semitism rearing its ugly head worldwide. Maybe it’s got to do with my up binge watching into the wee hours of the night “We Were the Lucky Ones” now streaming on Hulu – one Polish family’s story of separation and survival during the Holocaust.

And no maybes – FOR SURE – it’s got something to do with  my upcoming trip to Poland in less than one week. 

I’m not figuring out which shoes are most comfortable to pack or which novel I’ll bring on board to read during the flight. I’m not focused on Warsaw’s Galar Cruise on the Vistula and Krakow’s Wawel Castle. I’m obsessing over Poland’s tragic history of annihilating my people – not its highlights, its beauty and its wonders.   

So here I sit on my lovely second story, covered porch – being pleasantly cooled by my ceiling fan, sipping a freshly brewed hot cup of coffee while overlooking the lushness of my own back yard. I am seemingly secure, safe and insulated from the ugliness of the chaotic world.

But am I secure, safe and insulated? 
Are my children secure, safe and insulated? 
Are my grandchildren secure, safe and insulated?

I think not.

What can we do about the chaos? The hate and bigotry?
The killing and the violence?

We start:

By treating those we employ and interact with in a kind mannerBy listening and discoursing with an open mind in a dignified way By staying informed and awareBy supporting individuals running for office who exemplify the ideals we hold closeBy contributing our time and resources to causes which enhance our fellow human beings’ safety and securityBy talking to our children and grandchildren about their ancestors’ challenges, triumphs, values and principles  By taking care of ourselves so that we can take care of others By recognizing that G-d gave women the unique ability to create a life from a group of cells. Surely we can use our energies and our resources to ensure that we do all that we can to enhance and preserve both the lives we have created and all the lives of those peace seeking humans who inhabit this earth with us.

And we can celebrate the good times – starting with Mother’s Day.

Keep Preserving Your Bloom, 

G-d bless Sheryl Sandburg

In the morning, I found out I needed about $4500 worth of dental work. That knocked out my expansive plans for new shrubs and plantings adjacent to my back yard screened porch. I blinked away my hot tears. 

Shortly thereafter, I spent approximately 68 minutes surfing the Internet trying to add my TSA number to my airline’s boarding pass. I was not successful and I knew my blood pressure was refrlecting my extreme aggravation.

Later on, while packing for a weekend jaunt to Virginia, I agonized over what looked best with my brand new white flair pants: my black strapless top or my simple black and white stripe t shirt. I vacillated for what seemed like hours til I settled on the striped top. Did I make the right decision?

I ate too much when I went out to dinner that night and topped it off by pigging-out on three sugar cookies laced with M and M’s I found while foraging in my freezer when I returned home 

Irritable and annoyed with myself, I grabbed the remote and tuned into NewsNation with host Chris Cuomo  to distract myself from the “aggravations” of my day.

Cuomo was interviewing Sheryl Sandburg about the posting of a 36 minute video on YouTube titled “Screams Before Silence.” American businesswoman Sandberg went to Israel to explore the sexual violence by Hamas during the Hamas-led attack on Israel. She also investigated events at the massacre at the Nova Festival and abductions to the Gaza Strip.

“Screams Before Silence” is her newly released documentary – filled with chilling interviews detailing the barbarism of October 7th.

Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAr9oGSXgak

Getting ready for bed minutes later,
blessings for Sherry Sandburg’s courage and chutzpah ran through my mind. Over and over again I marveled at her valiant and successful efforts to show the world up close, vivid proof of Hamas’ savage and pre-meditated attack on innocent civilians.

After fully recognizing how inconsequential my petty irritations were, I cried myself to sleep.

Helpful Hints to Remember Stuff

I forget my granddaughter’s birthday – not because I didn’t write it down – but because I forgot to look at my list of “Special Days.”

I’m at the grocery store and can’t remember if I have an in unopened bottle of French Vanilla Coffee mate at home so I buy more.

Word recall? Routinely a word is on the tip of my tongue – and that’s where it stays – until about 15 hours later when it miraculously pops into my head. 

I read the book From Strength to Strength by Arthur Brooks – underlining his key and very relevant points of view. Then I write my weekly newsletter based on his observations. Three weeks later a friend asks me, “Iris, what most impressed you about his book?”
And I can’t remember a thing.

Clearly I am in dire need of helpful hints to remember stuff.  

A buddy suggests using acronyms. 
“When I drive on the boulevard near my house,” she tells me, “there is a lot to be aware of so I keep thinking: PBS. PBS. PBS. (Pedestrians, Bikers, Speed).” (Watch out for pedestrians, bikers and going over the speed limit she explains.)

Another friend, a talented poet, puts her literary skills to work. “I think in rhymes,” she relates:
Keys, glasses, sunscreen, phone
Keys, glasses, sunscreen, phone
Don’t ever leave any of these
At home!

Another friend, an innovative interior designer, with an expert eye for beautiful objects, keeps it practical. “I don’t need rhymes,” she airily declares. “I have a finely rendered, high quality ceramic bowl on a stunning black credenza near my front door. Guess what I keep in it? My keys, glasses, sunscreen and phone.” 

The Jewish holiday of Passover arrives. 
My husband and I fly to Connecticut for the Seder with our extended family, including four of our five sons and their families. My daughter-in-law Jenny graciously hosts. 

It’s a rare occurrence to have all of our eight grandkids together in one place. They range in age from 20 months to 17 years so too their range of activities is broad. And it’s a huge challenge to assemble them for a family photo. I usually end up utilizing most of my time trying to finagle how to get all of them to stop what they are doing, assemble in one place, sit still for one minute and take a picture. 

This year I released myself from that mode of behavior. 

I decided to let the picture go. The frame will remain blank.

I decide instead to simply enjoy watching my grandchildren interact with each other and various other family members throughout the evening.

The picture is not on my phone, to be printed out days later and framed. The picture is in my head. And with my new skills of keeping mentally sharp to remember stuff, that’s where it will stay.

It’s in a silo in my mind I named QFT (Quality Family Time).

It’s a heart expanding rhyme:
The world may be chaotic
But we’re together tonight
Sharing age old rituals
Spreading cheer and light

And I keep it practical. I stash away my phone, clear my mind of distractions, bounce the little ones on my knees and strike-up meaningful conversations with the older ones. 

I simply stay present in the moment – and days later – due to my laser focusing on the here and now, I have little difficulty remembering all that good stuff I experienced at the Seder – even without the picture. 

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

Who Ya Going to Turn To?

Throughout my growing up years,
when I wanted to feel good
and when I needed reassurance that everything would be okay,
I went to my mother.
But when I wanted the truth – the unvarnished truth – I turned to my friends.

We need our friends. 

I guess that’s why over 200 women of all ages and at all stages attended The Art of Female Friendship event on April 12th.

Here are some key take-aways from my speech about making a new friend, keeping the ones you have and 
overcoming conversational hurdles. 

HOT TAKE AWAY #1: Don’t overshare!
If we thought about it, how many of us would admit that over the course of our lives we may have spent a little too much time saying to ourselves, “I should have shut up ten minutes ago”?  
It happens, especially when we’re anxious or eager to take a relationship to the next level by attempting to build depth and a sense of emotional intimacy. But it’s not necessarily a good idea to do that before the friendship is really ready…Maybe it’s a bit too soon to share your lifelong battle with yeast infections, your complicated history with your ex or how you lost your virginity.
At the same time, no one wants to be friends with a carefully curated version of yourself – as the old saying goes: “I only have met four perfect people in my life and I didn’t like any of them.”

HOT TAKEAWAY #2: Listen. 
Active listening is not so easy.  It means paying close attention to what the other person is saying and listening so you can respond with authentic and open-ended questions. Expressing curiosity is a great social skill – opening up a world of knowledge and valuable insights you could otherwise miss. If you’re just focused on what you’re going to say next, you’ll end up missing most of what your new pal is saying.

HOT TAKE AWAY #3: Be cautious when using humor.
Keep in mind that one woman’s idea of humor is another’s woman’s idea of a broken friendship. So tread lightly.

For instance, what do you think of sharing this with a friend? “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.”

Pretty clever observation right?

Now what do you think of this one?
“Friends are like condoms. They protect us when things get hard.”

Some of my buddies would think that comparison is hysterical. Others? Others would say, “Really, Iris, need you be so crude?”

HOT TAKE AWAY #4: FIND COMMONALITY 
THINK ABOUT WHO YOU FEEL MOST COMFORTABLE WITH. 
 I have found an immediate and unmistakable bond with one particular group of people: 
·     Now that I am living in Tampa, I am instantly attracted to People from Ohio, particularly my hometown of Cincinnati and as a bonus – those people who are Cincinnati Reds fans – this is not a large number, however.

HOT TAKE AWAY #5: Embrace relational diversity and generational diversity.
One bestie may be great but having various women you can go to for different things – leaning into their unique offerings – is worth considering and actually leads to greater happiness. You’ve got a pickle ball friend, a friend you exchange book ideas with, entrepreneurial friends, elder friends, youngish friends, and creative friends.  

HOT TAKE AWAY #6: Two good CONVERSATION JUMP-STARTERS: 
1.  ROSE, THORN, BUD. 
ROSE – What’s good in your life?
THORN – What’s challenging in your life?
BUD – What are you looking forward to?

2.   WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF?

If you missed the first event, don’t despair – the next one is coming up soon.

Please register at: www.JewishTampa.com/Bloom

Until then, Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

A Behind the Scenes Look at an Event

Monday, April 8
I wake up in a cold sweat.

Four days until my very first event 
in The Art of Female Friendship series.

It seems like there are still loose ends to be tied up:
     The agony of seating 180. (Whoops: by mid-afternoon there are now 200 who have registered.)
     The stumbling I’m still experiencing in three different parts of my 40-minute featured presentation speech.
     The inability to remember if I told the venue staff that I needed a podium?  And a lapel mic?

Breathe, Iris, Breathe.


Tuesday, April 9
In spite of the tumult, I take sacred time for a mani and pedi.

Drum roll: After 34 years of wearing Big Apple Red polish, I brazenly switch to Deep Purple Passion in keeping with my Preserve Your Bloom garden theme. 

Wednesday, April 10
The indecision over what I’m ultimately going to wear continues – fueled by the reality of the northern direction the scale has been climbing in spite of my efforts to lose “the big five pounds” before “show time.”

I waver in my wardrobe choice:
Subdued professional?
Boho funky female?
Aging drama queen?
Do I dare expose my 76 year-old upper arms?
Do I step-up the tanning lotion routine to cover up the broken capillaries hugging my knees if I decide on a dress that barely covers them?
Do I just chuck the whole wardrobe dilemma and shimmy into a flowy black dress and totally blend into the black curtain which will be behind me?

Eek!

Thursday, April 11
I begin assembling everything on my dining room table that needs to go to the venue.



I panic. I can’t find one of my major props. (I find it.)

I panic. I forgot to decorate one of the signs I’m using in my presentation. (I decorate it.)

I panic. The number of people we had to turn away due to reaching  room capacity has grown every day. (Will these ladies ever forgive me?)

I panic. At 8:14 pm, I actually realize that I have forgotten to write my weekly newsletter. I’ve been writing my weekly newsletter for almost 40 years and I have never FORGOTTEN up until now.  (I sit down to write it.)

Friday, April 12
If you are reading this, my event is over.
My car is filled to capacity with table decorations we will re-purpose and use again.
The PYB Step and Repeat backdrop that so many snapped pictures in front of is now tucked away in its carrying case.
The plastic bins that housed my hand-knitted pouches I gave to each woman attending are now empty and stacked in my front hall.
And the pile of loose papers detailing friendship issues that will be addressed at our next event on August 28 are still in the venting vessel where they were placed earlier. 

Picture me in my bedroom:
The wooden shutters are closed to block out the bright afternoon sun.
The boho outfit I decided to wear is now crumpled on the chintz covered chair in my bedroom.
My too-tight shoes are piled on top of each other in the corner where I haphazardly flung them.
My old flannel nightgown is wrapped around my body. 
My carefully applied mascara is smudging my white pillowcase.
My phone is on silence.
And I am fast asleep.

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

The Power of The Compliment

“There are only three things women need in life: 
food, water, and compliments.” 
Chris Rock

Now that is a quote worth remembering.

Years ago Sarah Breathnach published a gem of a book called Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. In it, she suggested we all look for three things to be grateful for. 

“Wow,” I lamented to my husband that evening, “what a ridiculous, simplistic and trite notion!”

“Why don’t you try it? he countered quietly. 

I stopped in my tracks. I ruminated on the suggestion. And I then concluded, “What the hell did I have to lose?” 

Immediately I started searching for grateful-worthy things. Some days finding things that engendered a warm glow of gratitude were easy; others not quite so seamless. Gradually, though, I slid into the rhythm of searching for the positive, uplifting and magical. 

Surprisingly, I discovered even the mundane, routine and run-of-the-mill registered on my gratitude radar screen. I began noting everything – minute or gigantic – that moved my gratitude meter in a positive direction. 
     Admiring the wooded view from my office on the second floor of my house. 
     Gazing at the collection of knitted purses I’d made over the years – stowed away on shelves in one of my closets.
     Finding a very old picture of two of my sons with retired baseball player George Foster from decades ago and forwarding it to them.

Being grateful for the little things worked. Instead of concentrating on my fears, my woes, my aggravations and disappointments, I pushed all that stuff aside in my quest to seek out the pleasant and the pleasing.  I went through my days intent on finding things to be thankful for – specific things – diverting my attention away from negativity.

It’s the same template for COMPLIMENTS. Turn your mindset in a more positive way with friends and family and people you interact with. 

Begin concentrating on something to compliment them on, rather than focusing on what they do that drives you to distraction. Veering from the downbeat, unhelpful and unconstructive silo into the zone of positivity benefits everyone.

We all recognize that compliments are powerful, day-brightening, confidence building and validating tools. But beware of over use or misuse. 
     EXERCISE DISCERNMENT: take the time to find out what the individual you are planning on complimenting could best benefit from. Is it complimenting a character trait? A physical attribute? A professional achievement? Compliment accordingly.
     OBSERVE: strive to compliment what makes that person stand out above the rest. Take the time to reflect on what you admire about the person. Then fire away.                                                                                                                     National Compliment Day was created in 1998 by Kathy Chamberlin, of Hopkinton, NH and Debby Hoffman, of Concord, NH. These women felt that through the giving of compliments a positive connection with anyone would be achieved. 

National Compliment Day was Januray 24th – and that day has passed. World Compliment Day was March 1 – and that day has passed too But my event, “The Art of Female Friendship,” is fast approaching and has the same aim: to foster positive connections. 

Registration closes on Monday, April 8. If you’d like to be a part of this groundbreaking event designed to forge and strengthen interpersonal ties with your friends, here’s the registration link: 
https://jewishtampa.redpodium.com/preserving-your-bloom

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

I’m Thinking I Have a Pretty Awesome Life

Mainly – and I don’t say this lightly – most days I feel like I have a pretty awesome life of my own choosing.

I fill my days with – for the most part – doing what I want to do when I want to do it.

But there are days when I’m beyond frustrated by technology, sooooo tired of sweeping my front porch, deleting an endless amount of advertising e mails, dealing with ever increasing doctors appointments and the tedium of paying bills, paying taxes and simply paying attention to the upheavals worldwide.

And some days I’m just downright lonely – wishing my nest wasn’t empty and I was still the hub of the family wheel rather than now when I’m just one of the spokes.

I was deeply comforted recently when I read a newspaper story on happiness and in it the author offered some tantalizing observations.

She made the point that her family, her job and her marriage are all on track, noting that those three things are the main sources of meaning for her. She concluded she was pretty happy.

But she also noted a happy life can be made up of hard circumstances also:
One kid has a virus.
Two are chronically late turning in homework.
She’s behind on multiple work assignments, making her irritable as hell.
Her husband is on the verge of coming down with a killer sinus headache.
Oh, yes, and she’s very worried about her relatives in the Ukraine.

Epiphany!
I too love my life, but not all the moments in it.

That’s why it’s a wise person who can seize a moment of pure happiness amidst the continued chaos and aggravations of life.

That’s what I did yesterday when I flew back to Ohio, met four of my sons and three of my grandkids in my hometown of Cincinnati for the most fun tradition ever: OPENING DAY for the Cincinnati Reds!

But intermixed between the hugging hellos, the excited settling in our seats, the incessant cheering and the wolfing down of Skyline Chili – twinges of sadness washed over me for what used to be and is no more.

Then:
My five children living at home with my husband and me in our comfortable two-story colonial in a suburb of Cincinnati
My parents and my in-laws just minutes away in their own homes

Now:
My five children have all settled elsewhere.
We sold our family home 18 years ago and moved away too.
And both sets of parents remain forever in our hometown – in adjacent cemeteries in an old part of the city.

As Williams Wordsworth so eloquently put it over 200 years ago, “though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass and glory in the flower, we will grieve not but rather find, strength in what remains behind.”

I have a lot of good stuff remaining behind. I’m glad I’m able to draw upon it and amidst life’s inevitable losses, still find the joy.

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

I Should Have Known

I should have known it was a bad sign when I changed the filter on the Keurig a few days early. 

I should have known it was a bad sign when I didn’t stop there but actually went on to descale the coffee machine too. 

Here’s the link if you’re so inclined.

Another bad sign: I didn’t stop there. I rigorously swept the floor of the garage -which by the way was pretty filthy – and then I started on the spare refrigerator in the garage, which was enjoying the same level of filth. (My mother of blessed memory would be horrified at the dirt.)

And then I plopped on the couch – utterly exhausted. 

When I begin compulsively cleaning and making order out of chaos, that is an accurate indicator that I feel out of control internally. 

There were a few things bothering me. 

After a hideous night at a sleep center, I was informed that I have moderate sleep apnea – indicating I stop breathing anywhere between15-30 times per hour.YIKES!

In addition, my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer and is entering the last of 5 weeks of daily radiation and is feeling extremely fatigued. 

And my newest adventure – The Art of Female Friendship – is in full activation mode and keeping me extremely busy.  

In a rare moment of solitude and relaxation, I sit on my screened porch watching the sun set. I scan the headlines of the Wall Street Journal resting in my lap.  

I am stopped in my tracks by the following headline: Stop Constantly Asking Kids How They Feel by Abigail Shrier.

I am mesmerized, even though my kids are grown up and have flown the nest.

I quickly realize that every day – many times a day – I am nervously probing my husband’s moods and his emotional needs.

How do you feel?
How do you feel?
How do you feel?

And paradoxically I am kinda ignoring my worries over my recently diagnosed sleep apnea because I already booked an appointment to be fitted for a mouthpiece that will hopefully correct it. 

And paradoxically, I am ignoring the pit in my stomach as I routinely am startled from deep sleep each night to once again review the nitty-gritty to-do list of details for the “The Art of Female Friendship” event coming up way too soon on Friday, April 12. Details, I should note, that seem to be growing in length and breadth each day – instead of diminishing – as the event grows closer. 

So I began perusing the article. Abigail Shrier makes some interesting points:

The more we vigorously hunt for happiness, the more likely we are to be disappointed.

Emotion “check-in” can encourage a self-destructive mindset in young people, who need to learn to manage and sometimes ignore their fleeting feelings. 

A healthy emotional life involves a certain amount of repression. 

People who adopt an ”action orientation” are able to focus on a task without getting distracted by thoughts about their current emotional or physical state. Those who adopt a ”state orientation” are thinking more about themselves in the moment …keeps themselves from being successful.

I’m still digesting all of this “wisdom” and wondering perhaps if the same can be applied to adults. In my case, I seem to do better when I put my emotions behind me and tackle a task. I’m wondering if my continually asking my husband how he is feeling is holding him back from getting his mind off his physical functioning right now – keeping him in a silo of radiation fatigue. 

It’s worth considering. Read the article for yourself.

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

The Last Washing Machine I’ll Ever Buy

When my husband retired, he took over the washing and drying of our clothes. 

This was a good fit. 

He doesn’t rush through mundane tasks – resentful of the time it takes to satisfactorily complete them – like I do.

And he consistently demonstrates significant attention to details. Not something I ever do. 

I noticed this shortly after we were married and became officially a blended family. We moved into a brand-new house and I began decorating. I painted our four-year old’s room a deep green, coupled it with white molding and picked out green and blue plaid carpeting. 

I was a little matchy-matchy crazy in those days, so I looked for art to complement his room in the same color schemes. One day I found a darling print in the same colors as my son’s room.  I bought it on the spot.

When it was framed, my husband picked it up. The frame shop owner, Rick, unwrapped the picture and showed him what the print looked like matted and framed. My husband took one look at it and was horrified. He told Rick that I couldn’t have possibly picked this out for a 4-year old’s room, but Rick assured him that I had.

My husband left the frame shop thoroughly perplexed.  When he got home, he unwrapped the picture and asked me if this was indeed the picture I had picked out.

“Of course it is,” I answered casually.

“Do you know what this picture is?” he demanded.

“Yes,” I answered tartly. “I’m not an idiot. It’s Noah’s Ark with the animals going two-by-two.”

“Not quite,” he snapped back. “Take a closer look.”

I did.  And then that is when I realized that the animals were doing a little bit more than just walking two-by -two.

The picture was never hung in our son’s bedroom. We hung it in our master bath – as a constant reminder to me to be more observant and a constant reminder to my husband that the woman he married may not be the most discerning woman on earth.

As I stated at the beginning of this column, it’s been a long time since I did wash. Yesterday, when I went to throw in a load of whites, I noticed a section of the washing machine blocked off with ugly black masking tape. It was the part that dispenses bleach directly into the washing tub. That’s when I realized how old our machine was. 

Maybe it was time to look for a new one.

I started half-heartedly looking for sales. 
I asked friends for recommendations.
I read about “exciting” new features every washer should have. Seriously? “Exciting”??????

Dual bin washer and dryer where you can actually wash a load of whites and a load of colors in two separate loads but at the same time. WOW! Absolutely riveting!

An “Emergency-Door Washer” which allows you to add left behind garments to your already started washers through a small, “second chance” door, keeping you from having to run an additional wash cycle. OMG! Couldn’t possibly live without this one!

“There is nothing worse than tossing in a load of dirty, grimy, stained clothing into your washer, only for it to come out looking just as bad as it did when you started your washer.” Seriously, do these advertising people listen to the world-wide news???? I can think of a few things worse than grimy clothes. 

The whole process was becoming overwhelming.

But looking back, it wasn’t the many features that delayed me from buying a new washer nor the lack of sales nor lack of consensus of my friends’ recommendations. 

It is simply this: 
I’m 76 years old. 
If I buy another washing machine, it will probably be the last washing machine I’ll ever buy.
I simply am not yet able to wrap my arms around that startling fact.

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,