Iris Ruth Pastor's Blog, page 11

Nurturing Longevity

To my dear sister, Lori,

This week’s column is devoted to giving you advice to start off the New Year – which I am SURE you are so very anxious to hear. Being ten years younger, you’re probably quite sick of not only my advice, but gleaning wisdom from the host of experiences I have had over the years – not all of which ended in victory, progress or satisfaction on my part.

But on the subject of nurturing longevity – since I’ve decided to live until age 96 – another twenty years – I’m waxing verbose when it comes to your longevity too.

Here goes on what can you expect in the next decade:

The only things that will get thinner are your lips, the hair on the crown of your head and the skin on your skinny arms – where you will surely develop capillary fragility. Look it up if you want.
https://www.wellrx.com/hn/us/assets/health-condition/capillary-fragility/~default/#:~:text=About%20This%20Condition,a%20person%20has%20capillary%20fragility
Mom had it and so did our Aunt Mel. And so do I.

Your eyelids will get more fuggy – I mean puffy – and the bags under your eyes will become more pronounced.

In less than ten years, no one will exclaim with wonder when you tell them that you have no more children in their thirties.

The grandkids you are so eagerly anticipating will be over their adoring stage with you and your husband and heaven only knows what techy toys will be capturing their rapturous attention. If they are “raised right” they may still acknowledge your presence when you cross the threshold into their homes. 

Your daily life will become less efficient as you forgot more and more things, events, facts and how to perform certain tasks. If you are wise, you will write EVERYTHING DOWN and KEEP IT HANDY (IN PLAIN SIGHT). If you are flush with cash, you may consider utilizing a concierge doctor.

I don’t have to again reiterate about the abundance of facial hair you will notice – that has been adequately covered in many of my former columns.

Any trait that irritates you about your husband will magnify – and vice versa with him in regards to your behavior and quirks.

Oh yes, you may need hearing aids.

And you will be giving away any shoes with the least bit of a platform because your balance will suck. 

NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS:
You will wake up each day with a profound sense of gratitude. I’ve been reciting the Hebrew prayer Modi Amie very morning in recognition of my good fortune – you may want to also.

Modeh ani lefanekha melekh ḥai vekayam sheheḥezarta bi nishmati b’ḥemlah, rabah emunatekha. 

I gratefully thank you, O living and eternal king, for you have returned my soul within me with compassion – abundant is Your Faithfullness!

You will be happier and more at peace as never before. Even though you are surrounded by the inevitable decrements of your aging, you will recognize it’s better “to be over the hill, than under it.”

You will take profound pleasure in the little things – a candle with a pleasant aroma, a text from a grandchild, an unexpected Face Time call from an old friend, a newly found picture of our parents, a distant relative tracked downs through Ancestry. 

You will feel deep gratitude for your home, your financial security, your burgeoning family and the good deeds you and your husband have performed in the community and beyond over the past decades. 

Of course, again We Plan, G-d Laughs, so what’s the harm in a little projection as long as we do so tongue-in-cheek, right?

And yeah, one more thing, when speaking of tongue-in-cheek – your teeth will yellow if you are fortunate enough to still have them. But, if I know you, you will still be smiling that fantastic smile forever.

I sure hope so.

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

PS: You will constantly misplace your phone and every once in a while, you will ask me why I never write about you in my newsletter. 

Where Did The Time Go?

How many times do we ask ourselves this question:
Where did the time go?

One of my sons sent me an early morning  text a few days ago asking that same question – prompted by the reality that that particular day his oldest child turned 17.

I shared his disbelief.

In our modern world, we have the capability of stopping or slowing down many things.

Just peruse the plethora of articles and advertisements on the internet all directed to counteract deceleration of our aging process – through surgery, supplements, exercise, diet, mental stimulation, meditation, massage, physical therapy, etc. 

And in reality, probably a fair number of these products and services do make us healthier and will help prevent some aspects of aging from overtaking our lives.

But in reality, the one thing we can’t slow down is the grains of sand flowing through the hour glass – hurtling us through time into an unknown future.

I’ve been giving this subject a lot of thought in the last few days. Soon my oldest granddaughter will be taking her driving test. Soon she and her first cousin (who is already driving!) will be going off to college – not tomorrow, of course, but not years away. 

Soon my husband and I will have no children in their 30’s.

Geez.

So if we can’t stop time, how can we fully utilize the time we have?

I am a planner. At the same time, I like to think I am somewhat in touch with reality – although my kids, I’m sure, would partially disagree with that when I display some emotional craziness.

With this in mind and kinda tongue-in-cheek, I am announcing my intention to live until age 96. I recently determined that reaching that milestone would give me enough time to accomplish all that is on my To-Do list plus fulfill many of my more aspirational desires for things I have yet to even discover I want to accomplish and add to my To Do list.

With this in mind, I also firmly embrace the adage that WE PLAN. GOD LAUGHS.

How do I reconcile these two conflicting states of being?

I do this by simply living in the moment and being very picky – nit-picky really – on how I spend my time and with whom I spend my time.

I’ve always been a maniac when it comes to time management.
     Wasting time makes me cry 
     Waiting in a long line upsets my equilibrium
     Putting something in the computer over and over again because I’m not doing it properly makes me crazy
     Forgetting how to do something and then having to start from scratch – that drives me bonkers too

The difference is that as I age I realize that the quality of my time is the only thing I can control – at least partially. And so, when I’m detained, I try to have something on hand to help me productively pass the time – I phones are a great resource for this.

Another difference in my outlook is staying healthy is now more about preserving my quality of life and less about my physical appearance. 

I’m hoping for 96 years of quality life (the heavens are rumbling with huge gales of laughter right now, which I am ignoring). If I’m destined for less, it’s okay because I’m making the most of each minute that flows through  that hourglass.

I hope you are too.

Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanza to my loyal readers who celebrate these holidays. 

And for us all, let’s keep those watering cans handy to  continue Preserving Our Blooms for as long as we can. 

A Brand New Experience

I had an experience over Thanksgiving weekend that I’ve never had before. I had an opportunity to see a Broadway show before its official opening at the Belasco Theater in Manhattan. 

The show was How To Dance In Ohio, a musical based on the Peabody Award-winning documentary of the same name that can, at present, be viewed on Netflix. Both the musical and the documentary explore common themes of belonging, courage to put yourself out in the world and the universal need we all have for connection and engagement. The setting is a counseling center in Columbus where seven autistic young adults are preparing for their first ever formal dance – a coming of age experience that forces them once again to grapple with finding their way in an often bewildering world.  

How To Dance In Ohio would have its official opening a few weeks later, on December tenth. This would be the day the critics let loose with their personal views of the play – ripping it to shreds, praising it highly or a little bit of both. 

Like everything in life, there are so many ways to slice a cake. 

Theatre-goers described How To Dance In Ohio as “delightful, entertaining, absorbing, relevant and enchanting.”

Here’s what some of the critics wrote about How To Dance In Ohio after its official opening performance:   

     New York Times: musical breaks new ground on Broadway

     Variety: big hearted, earnest…too much telling and not enough showing…

     Entertainment Weekly: the music is only okay…but the moments that do hit…hit hard…just ask the folks in my row reaching for tissues

     Deadline: the show is destined to live in the inescapable shadow of Kimberly Akimbo, that perfect show just a block away

     The Daily Beast: a funny, joyful and cheering assertion of both diversity and self-determination

That afternoon I sat in the dark with strangers – in a filled to capacity theatre. I listened to stories that illuminate a  shade of humanity I had not experienced. It was a different kind of community – a temporary community – that felt safe and in sync and yet the possibility was ever present of something going wrong on stage that kept us all awake, aware and fully present. 

And that’s the beauty of live performances. They are immediate. They are evolving. And each performance is slightly different. Live theatre encourages discourse and dialogue, especially important when viewed against the backdrop of our current world – a world filled to the brim with social media, digital technology and virtual experiences – all delivered through our oversized screens gracing our homes. 

Actress Janelle Snow‘s take on the magic of live theater expresses my feelings so well: “It’s like a sporting event of the heart – where you’re gathered in a space, often shoulder to shoulder, breathing the same air, experiencing the same sensory input and letting your thoughts and emotions go on an unpredictable ride together.”

The applause that afternoon was at times deafening.  The standing ovation at the end for the entire cast was particularly poignant given the fact that the seven cast members playing autistic young adults were autistic themselves and making their debut on Broadway. 

Me? I loved it. 

I left the theater on that dismal, rainy afternoon with a buoyant heart and a hopeful spirit. If these seven autistic actors and the autistic young adults they portrayed could face life with humor, courage and determination, so could I.

I walked out with renewed resolve to power forward with personal goals which up to this point had been shrouded in fear and anxiety. 

In closing, click on this link to experience a little taste of the magic of How To Dance In Ohio:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx3sRu_2TBQ

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

Crawling Into Bed At 4:21 AM

I crawled into bed at 4:21 AM – bleary eyed, exhausted and berating myself for staying up so late.
 
Around 11:00 PM, I had been restlessly searching for something to binge watch. I came across The Golden Bachelor.
 
I NEVER WATCH REALITY TV but something about the premise caught my attention: finding love for a golden-aged, widowed bachelor with 60 to 75-year-old contestants. Having so many friends who are widowed, divorced or never married, I was curious to see what people experience when looking for “the perfect match” later in life and The Golden Bachelor seemed like it would deliver.
 
I was drawn into the drama immediately. Apparently I wasn’t the only one intrigued by the concept of senior citizens finding lasting love and marriage. According to The Hollywood Reporter, 139 million viewers tuned in.
 
Here’s Gerry….
 

ABC News
 
The Golden Bachelor features a cast of 20 very attractive and well-preserved women vying for Gerry’s attention and ultimately his proposal of marriage. Premiering in September, it concluded in November with The Bachelor, Gerry Turner, choosing Theresa Nist to marry, which will be televised on January 4 on ABC TV.
 
Here’s the happy couple….

Disney/John Fleenor
 
I watched the first five of nine episodes in one night, thus the late bedtime. I witnessed genuine tears. I witnessed  heartfelt emotions and shared confidences about past loves and losses. And I witnessed in-fighting among the women when feelings began to intensify for Gerry. 
 
Gerry Turner, a handsome, fit man, wooed each woman passionately – causing me to marvel at his ability to do so. 
 
And the entire time, I wondered how I would cope with the situation of bonding with other women – strangers – who I was also avidly competing against. That’s a tall order. I’m not so sure I’m that secure.
 
Before I could finish the last few episodes, controversy surfaced on social media over Gerry Turner’s lack of transparency. He had related to Entertainment Tonight that he hadn’t dated in 45 years and hadn’t been kissed in six years.
 
Whoa Gerry!
 
But as Parade previously reported, a shocking Hollywood Reporter article revealed the claims of a former girlfriend, who said Gerry romanced her just one month after his wife Toni’s sudden death. 
They allegedly lived together for more than a year and then split up after Gerry expressed his displeasure over her 10-pound weight gain before his high school reunion.

For the more lurid details, click on this link:
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a44565012/the-golden-bachelor-gerry-turner/

After that revelation, I lost interest in the show and never watched the last couple of episodes – until, that is, I read about how gut wrenching The Golden Bachelor finale proved for all concerned. I couldn’t resist. 

What did I learn  from watching and reading about this reality show? Two things:
     Next time those involved in the production should check-out their candidates’ backgrounds more thoroughly. 
     The basic premise of the show remains intact: both men and women have a need for connection.
As Theresa said, “You can’t put an age limit on love.”

Interested in auditioning for The Golden Bachelor Season 2?
If so, you can apply online at www.goldenbachelorcasting.com

Be prepared to answer lots of questions and submit at least two photos. BTW, bachelorettes don’t get paid and can accrue considerable styling costs.

Happy hunting, keep preserving your bloom, and let us know if you make the cut.

What happens when my reach exceeds my grasp?

Okay
Okay
Okay

I know I’m 76 years old.
I also know that everyone in our day I notice more signs of aging on my body such as those “adorable” age spots popping up on my hands, neck and cheeks.

The conundrum is how to dress fashionably funky without looking ridiculous at my advanced age.

The first rule of thumb is (IMO – in my opinion) to cover up the body zones showing age – I do this daily with my various colored body suits .

My go-to favorite body suit color is black.

My second rule: NO MORE RULES – WEAR WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT. (IMO)

My go-to favorite style of dressing is (drum roll)…..BOHO CHIC.

I couple this with a bold philosophical statement:
Always let your reach exceed your grasp.

I know my more savvy classical-dressing friends find this idea appalling – that’s part of the fun of pushing the envelope of propriety.

Here are some essentials to create that eclectic, wild woman look:

     Maxi or midi skirts that are not too pouffy – in solid colors or with minimal pattern

     Floppy brimmed or brimless hats

     Graphic t-shirts, oversized tanks or camis – worn underneath denim or crocheted vests or paired under loose knit, slouchy cardigans

     The more fringe the better

     Flared jeans

     Head-wraps – worn across your forehead or one or two inches past your hairline. This fashion accessory is greatly enhanced if you are lucky enough to have wild curly or wavy masses of hair (that ship has sailed for me).

Choice of handbag: oversized boho, cross body, canvas skinny or one of my hand-knitted purses are perfect accoutrements.

Ankle booties or strappy, lace-up sandals are a good boho chic choice or canvas high tops.

Accessorize like crazy:
     Oversized sunglasses
     Bright red lipstick
     Lace detailing
     Layered beaded bracelets and necklaces

After all that time-consuming expenditure of energy assembling your boho chic image, you have ‘been successful if your look comes off as “breezy and effortless.“

Hee hee.

Short-cut to success: Use Pinterest to find outfit ideas and then take a trip inside your own closet to re-create the outfits using what you already own.

Here’s the result of my my most recent closet foraging:

This is it :

Jean jacket over a body suit combined with a multi-layered black skirt – topped  off with an ancient pair of nylon boots and plenty of silver jangly jewelry (that you can’t see). Notice my close proximity to my neighbor’s Harley – beats my SUV for coolness any day!

Watch out world – here I come – another fine example of my always letting my reach exceed my grasp.

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

I Can’t Remember So Many Things

I can’t remember so many things:
     When I last saw my sister-in-law JoAnn who lives in Israel
     What I had for dinner two nights ago
     What my husband and I did last New Year’s Eve

I can’t remember:
What I read about CBD and gummies to help the elderly cope with aging’s ills (yikes – I am elderly too – I need to pay more attention!!!!).

What AARP said in its monthly magazine about how to be “a super-ager.” It was something about connectedness and engagement with others.

And I only vaguely remember the article I read about “less is more” when putting pen to paper – but the impact of that particular article lingers in the blurry recesses of my memory. And it guides me as I process just exactly what and how I choose to write.

For instance: using one or two adjectives to describe something is more powerful than a string of them

Ditto for citing an example of something: one clearly written example suffices over two or three wordy ones 

More will simply exhaust AND dilute the message.

I collect quotes centering around the word Bloom. I have many.

     My favorite is: Bloom Where You Are Planted

     My newest is: Whoever Doesn’t Laugh, Doesn’t Bloom

If I continued to list every BLOOM quote I have ever collected, you’d probably become incredibly bleary-eyed and rapidly desensitized to the power of the word BLOOM itself.

But – if I only list a few – you may be so motivated to jot them down, marvel at their punchiness and utilize the gems in your next conversation – if you can remember them, of course.

With brevity and its effect on emphasis in mind, I’m presenting one quote and one quote only as your tummy is finishing digesting your Thanksgiving meal. I’m presenting one quote only to hold close as we finish up with the holiday focused on gratitude and thankfulness for our bounty in life. 

I am consciously not imparting any more information than to name the person who wrote the words of wisdom below and how I know her. Your imagination – and your own life’s circumstances – will fill-in the rest of the story behind her words

Her name is Dena. We share three grandchildren. Only months ago she became a widow after many years of marriage. This is what she recently texted to me:

“Some days are difficult, but I think about all I’ve had – and still have – and I smile.”

Thanks, Dena.

Keep Smiling and Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

With A Little Help From My Friends

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Hmm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Hmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Paul McCartney and John Lennon finished this well- known ditty in mid-March, 1967 and it’s taken up residence in my mind ever since. 

Getting by. 
Getting high. 
Gonna try. 
That’s what friends are for.

When I’m grappling with something, instead of tossing and turning sleeplessly for weeks on end, I turn to my buddies to extrapolate from their varied experiences.

This week I’ve been devoting too much brain space to my physical space. 

What happens when we contemplate implementing a change in our space and/or our residence? 

I have a friend who had a comfortable, comforting home in a leafy green suburb where she and her husband raised two children and she partook in many community-based activities, including tutoring in the local schools. In my opinion, she had based much of her daily life around her location – in a seamless, satisfying manner.

Around Covid, she and her husband decided to move out of the community into an urban oasis – a high rise – a vertical community – overlooking the Ohio River.

I asked her how wrenching it was to leave the “old neighborhood.” And I was surprised by her answer.

“It was time to move on,” she replied brightly. “Now I go back and yes, it is nostalgic, but not in an ‘omg what did we do?’ way. It was time to move on to a new phase – and I am now very happy where I am.“

A different friend had a different situation. She didn’t want to move from her lovely home on a cul de sac, but her husband no longer wanted the responsibility of a house – one which needed a fair amount of work and upkeep. Finances, age, and maintenance issues contributed to his desire to move into a rental apartment. 

“I went from a stable demographic of neighbors to an ever changing landscape of renters. I went from 2400 s/f to 1400 s/f. 

“And in the process, I got rid of a lot of stuff – pictures, shoes, clothes, crystal goblets, dishes, my dining room table. It was overwhelming, but my sister went to work weeding out the excess and sorting through the mess to get me back to basics.” 

That was five years ago. I ask her if she is happy. 

“I’m not overjoyed, but my husband loves it,” she retorts.

“Seemed like a pretty big sacrifice on your part,” I probed, thinking maybe I had pushed a little too far into the personal. 

“My husband had never asked anything of me before this,” my friend explained. “In marriage, you make compromises and this was the first time I needed to make a compromise – he had done a lot for me and this was something I could do for him. And he loves calling the slew of maintenance men when something goes wrong!”

“So,” I asked half-jokingly, “how does your husband handle the things about the apartment you don’t like?”

“Well,” she said, “I hate the carpet and it really could use replacing, but we would have to be in charge of moving all the furniture in and out –  in order for the management to okay replacing it – a big hassle. So my husband tells me, ‘Just don’t look at it, kiddo.’

“So, I try not to,” my friend quips, with a wide grin.

Another friend had a very pragmatic approach to getting rid of things when they went to smaller quarters: “I took lots of pictures,” she said, “and I did regret parting with some of it, but honestly – there was no room so it needed to go.”

I look around the house I live in now. I did not raise my children in this house, but all of their stuff went with me and my husband even though the kids were long past living in the family nest.

And I realize the problem is that for the last 17 years, though I have not accumulated THAT MUCH, I have also NOT THROWN AWAY ONE THING!

Help!!!!!!! I need a big push. 

And a little help from my friends on how to divest of a plethora of stuff. And where to start.

Suggestions welcome!

https://youtu.be/0C58ttB2-Qg?si=L4PBaOTj_b3U0ymD


Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

Preventing A Thanksgiving Melt-down

Thanksgiving comes early this year. Hence, this week’s column – dealing with getting in the right frame of mind and preparing ahead of time to ward off family issues.

I don’t excel in the kitchen. No magnificently stuffed, basted and roasted turkey will ever emerge from my seldom-used oven to my gleaming Lenox serving platter – unless someone else makes it. The same with homemade pumpkin pie.




I must confess: I am more interested in what goes on around the table rather than what dishes get placed on the table.

So here are some suggestions for a memorable, enjoyable and richly textured Thanksgiving experience:

Cultivate a Thanksgiving frame of mind.
Compose a handwritten note of thanks to a few people who have extended to you the gift of kindness in the past year.
“Fill your car with frozen turkeys and cart them down to a local food bank to be distributed,” suggests my friend Joyce. “I do this a couple of days before Thanksgiving. And I stuff boxes there as well. I feel good and it enables the family receiving the food able to celebrate Thanksgiving too.”
 
Once around the table:
     Recall: One of my more outrageous friends, whose identity will  remain hidden, boldly suggests sitting around the table and recalling “Disasters of Thanksgivings Past.” With a twinkle in her eye, she cautions me that only those with a well-endowed sense of humor and tolerant of some good-natured ribbing should attempt this. Here are two examples to jog your memory: Grandma burning the turkey to a crisp and Willy and his wild sons knocking over the entire Thanksgiving dessert table while tossing a Nerf football over it.


     

     Diversion: “My family fights over everything,” another friend who will remain nameless, admits. “We always need diversion to prevent arguments from flaring up. Because we don’t get together over the December holiday season, we make a practice of exchanging gifts at the Thanksgiving table. The person in charge for that year passes out one name to each person a few weeks before Thanksgiving. That person buys a book for the person whose name he received, based on their interests. He wraps it and presents it to the person, along with an explanation of why he picked that particular book for him. It’s fun and prevents much dreaded smoldering family resentments to inflame – at least until the meal is over.”

     Nostalgia: “Take a group picture before the food courses commence – and add it to a collage of group pictures, which get displayed each year. It’s hysterical to see how people age,” my friend Nina remarks wickedly. “And great motivation for pre-Thanksgiving dieting.”

     Gratitude: “It’s tried, true and trite but what can it hurt? Go around the table and ask each person to talk BRIEFLY about one thing they are grateful/thankful for,” suggests Gail. “And with technology surrounding us, we often utilize Zoom or Face time with relatives celebrating elsewhere.“
 
Remember the disconcerting scene from the movie, “Avalon,” produced by Barry Levinson? One brother yelled at the other, “You cut the turkey without me.” And they never spoke again.

Remember the quote written by Oscar Wilde? “After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”

Let’s face it. We wait to cut the turkey until all guests have arrived. We make sure the food is delectable. Still, there can be folks seated around our Thanksgiving table that we just can’t stand. How do we get through the meal without a major meltdown? Knife fight? Or hair pulling ruckus?

Here’s a few suggestions from me – a self-proclaimed know-it-all – who sports absolutely no professional qualifications:
     Lower your expectations
     Dwell on the positive
     Don’t look for a slight – or you’ll be sure to find one
     Listen more than talk
     Avoid expounding on religion, politics or The Middle East
     And if things heat-up, pop open another bottle of wine & slug away
 

 
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
 

Let’s Discourse with Dignity and Respect

I am Jewish. I grew up in a very secular home, reluctantly went to Sunday School on Sunday and Hebrew School on Wednesday. I loved the sugary snacks served at break time and the boys in my class. The Hebrew, history and holiday lessons? I could take or leave.

My mother knew no Hebrew, never fasted on Yom Kippur and I’m sure never knew the difference between Shavout and Simchas Torah. My dad, growing up in Upstate New York, was kicked out of Cheder (Hebrew School) for bad behavior and the fact that his parents had no money to pay for his Jewish education didn’t help matters. He never returned. 

However, that didn’t stop my parents from giving my brother, my sister and me a thorough education in anti-Semitism and the Holocaust. I started reading The Diary of Anne Frank when I was in 5th grade. Since then – throughout my entire life – I have continued to read books on the mass slaughter of six million Jews by the Nazis. I read memoirs, historical fiction, non-fiction, essays and poetry – anything I can find on the topic -while trying to make sense of the senseless. 

Dormant terror and rage lived in me. 
Could it happen again? 
I grew up thinking it couldn’t.
It was too scary to think otherwise.

Until October 7, that is.

Since then my stomach has been in knots and my terror has grown. I don’t feel safe anywhere. I am terrified for my adult children. I am hysterically terrified for my grandchildren. What a world they will be inheriting. 

Cornell University had postings on a bulletin board encouraging students to follow a Jew home and slit his throat.

Russian mobs stormed Dagestan Airport to take out the Jewish passengers arriving from Tel Aviv. Hours later, Putin claimed – without proof – that the airport riots were staged from the Ukraine. 

University presidents of prestigious institutions struggle with their responses to such blatant evil. They dance around the fact that Hamas is a terrorist group focused only on death and destruction of the Jews. They are reluctant to squelch their students protesting Israel’s response to the Oct 7 slaughter of innocents. 

There is an uptick in anti-Semitism.
President Biden is getting rampant criticism for his support of Israel.  
Israel is being held to a different level than other countries – constantly having to prove her right to exist – having to counteract those who feel, we as Jews somehow “have it coming to us.”

To those who think like that, I respectfully direct you to the link below: 
https://www.chron.com/life/article/landers-jewish-contributions-to-the-world-are-2065711.php

Hamas is a terrorist organization – intent on perpetrating evil. They don’t want better lives for their people. They want the destruction of Israel and the Jewish people. They fight for death and evil. 

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/oren-kaplan_hamasisisis-standwithisrael-activity-7125189781436739585-XpHK

Hamas invaded Israel based on meticulous, well thought- out plotting and planning, but Hamas made no provisions for their people’s water supply, food, electricity, medical care and well- being after they slaughtered innocent civilians in Israel in the most inhumane manner. 

And Hamas strategically places their commander’s headquarters in close proximity to Palestinians refuges so their innocent civilians get massacred when Israel rightly-so retaliates. 

G-d bless advertising guru Donny Deutsch, who, on October 30 on MSNBC had the courage to call what Hamas has done as blatant anti-Semitism. Deutsch said that Israel, “a civilized, human-valued driven democracy,” is held to a different level than any other country and the Jewish people to a different level too.

This is a dangerous time. And I feel very vulnerable, as do my people. And I know my parents and grandparents would be proud of me for raising my voice in the face of such gross injustice. 

MAKE NO MISTAKE: I feel for the Palestinian people.
MAKE NO MISTAKE: Israel didn’t start this war and Israel didn’t want this war.
MAKE NO MISTAKE: Let’s hold accountable those who should be held accountable for rape, pillage, barbarism and immorality. And stop blaming Israel for defending itself and its people.
MAKE NO MISTAKE: We, in this country, would do the same.

It’s hard to preserve any bloom in this climate of hate, but let’s discourse with dignity and respect,

Iris Ruth Pastor

Altering our Behavior and Perspective Amidst Armed Conflict

When my five kids were little, there were days when I spent the majority of my productive hours organizing their toys. I remember endless hours spent putting their Legos of all shapes, sizes and colors in their respective boxes – only to wake-up the next day and do it all over again. 

Ditto for wiping up spilled apple juice, wiping runny noses and cleaning off chubby little palms and fingers after they had dug in the backyard dirt. 

Then my five babies grew up. And I began to write more frequently and with more intensity. I thought I was engaging in something very different than ministering to my small children’s needs. But, actually, it was the same template: trying to create a sense of order out of chaos. 

Today, I’m kinda dialing back on trying to create order out of chaos, for the order is more elusive and the chaos is much larger in scope. 

Instead, I’m intent on helping my readers see the world in a slightly different way than they may have otherwise.

Sometimes this is easy to accomplish.
Sometimes, my words get lost in the weeds, making minimal sense to me. And I’m not so sure I’m coming even close to that lofty goal. 

This week’s column is of the latter ilk. Is it filled with platitudes or a little think-worthy? Who knows? I decide to roll with it anyway. 

These days I feel like a bit actor in a scene from the movie Cabaret. It’s Berlin, 1931. The Nazi party is rising and the Weimar Republic is collapsing. And as the storm clouds of war form, the patrons of the Cabaret are at breakneck speed partying hearty – oblivious to what is soon going to happen? Am I waiting for something ominous to happen too?

The patrons of the nightclub may have been oblivious to the coming upheaval, but others clearly were not. 
.
History’s most famous astrologer is Frenchman Nostradamus. Michel de Nostredame used the quatrain form to deliver his famous prophecies in the 16th century. He is credited with predicting such seismic events as Hitler’s rise to power and the 9/11 attacks on our own shores. 

Nostradamus writes his predictions in verses known as quatrains, which is a stanza of four lines, usually having alternate rhymes. His quatrains are often difficult to predict because his references to specifics can be vague. 

However, according to history.co.uk, Nostradamus “predicted a great war would occur in 2023.”

One line reads: seven months great war, people dead through evil. 

Another line: sooner and later you will see great changes made, dreadful horrors and vengeances.

Can we dismiss these frightening phrases as mere groundless speculation? Or should we embrace them as gospel based on the eerie accuracies of his past quatrains with actual real events?

Who knows?

But one thing is known for sure: the world is in free-fall turbulence and near-constant upheaval and our anxieties are sky high. Something’s surely going on. 

We feel fear. 
We are anxious. 
We are untethered. 
Loss of control feels imminent. 

Intellectually, we know to take breaks from the constant barrage of news updates, but we also feel an acute pull to still stay informed. The key perhaps lies in exposure to the news in digestible portions. 

The key also lies in recognizing we are not alone and we are not entirely powerless. 

We can manage our feelings of uncertainty and powerlessness by getting involved in our local community – by working on issues that are important to us personally. This is good for our mental health and our stability. 

One way to accomplish this is to take part in things we feel comfortable with, such as peaceful rallies and gatherings, prayer vigils, and organized debates. Active listening and engaging in dignified discourse with those who hold opposing views can be helpful. However, if the conversation veers in a disrespectful or accusatory direction, removing ourselves may be best. 

Reaching out to a friend, expressing our thoughts by journaling, drawing, dance or performing are always positive reactions to stave off despair.

And avoiding long rambling scrolling-through sessions on social media is also advised for it desensitizes our emotions and it numbs the senses. 

And, of course, donating funds to organizations we feel best represent our interests and capture our sympathies is a positive reaction to distressing situations.

How to talk to our kids and grandkids about the Israel-Hamas War? That’s a tough one too. See below for that:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/articles/talking-children-about-scary-world-events

So what’s the takeaway?
    Small doses of news in digestible amounts
    Taking care of ourselves and our loved ones
    Coming together as a community
    Giving of our time and resources
    And, praying for peace in the Middle East

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,