Lynn Thier's Blog, page 18

NLP – Learn to Change Your State at Will

NLP – Your owner’s manual for your brain

How would you like to learn a technique that could help you change your state fast?  What if it was easy to do?  Would you do it?  Would it be useful to you to know how to do this easily?  Your can change your state of mind or mood easily using the techniques of anchoring. This means you can, for example, stay calm and relaxed when you want to as well as get motivated, feel happy at will as well!

You do this by anchoring states of mind so you can fire the anchor and establish the state instantly.

Anchoring

Anchoring is reminiscent of Pavlov’s experiments with dogs. Pavlov sounded a bell as the animal was given food. The animals salivated when they saw the food. After some parings of the bell and the food, the bell alone elicited salivation.

Anchors are stimuli that call forth states of mind – thoughts and emotions. For example, touching a knuckle of the left hand could be an anchor. Some anchors are involuntary. So the smell of bread may take you back to your childhood. A tune may remind you of someone you love or someone you dislike. A touch can bring back memories and the past states. These anchors work automatically and you may not be aware of the triggers.

Establishing an anchor means producing the stimuli (the anchor) when the resourceful state is experienced so that the resourceful state is pared to the anchor. For example, touching the knuckle of the left hand when the resourceful state is experienced to pair the two events.

Activating or firing the anchor means producing the anchor after it has been conditioned so that the resourceful state occurs.For example, touching the knuckle of the left hand after the anchor has been established so that this action produced the resourceful state.

Automatic Unconscious Anchors – We are affected by anchors throughout our lives and go into a good mood or a bad one … feel motivated to do something as well as feel confident and resourceful or the opposite. We are responding to anchors, but we may not know what they are.

These anchors have been built up accidentally. In fact, we often think that our mood has nothing to do with us and that our moods occur by chance.  NOT so…

Designing Anchors – You use them to produce the state of mind or mood you need for a given situation. You enter an interview calm and relaxed. You control your temper. You turn on the confidence or excitement you need to do a task., it is actually extremely easy to establish them!

You have all the resources you require to achieve whatever goal you want. This is a presupposition (assumption) of NLP

RESOURCE ANCHOR – You can recall any memories when you have experienced the required state. Recall them vividly and you recall the state. So you can recall any memories of being extremely calm and relaxed to get the resource for your anchor.  You might recall being calm and relaxed on vacation, for example, YOU can also recall a time when you were happy, laughing, successful and motivated.

Do this…

Recall a time when you were calm and relaxed. As you go back to that time now step into your body and you are seeing now what you see in the memory, hearing now what you heard in the memory, and feeling now, what you feel in the memory.  Now as the state/feeling begins to rise press on your left knuckle, as it begins to fade releas

Even people who think they have no resourceful memory can find such a memory perhaps in a different context.

Types of Anchors

They can be visual, auditory or kinesthetic anchors…

Installing Anchors

Decide on the state you want to anchor. For example being calm and relaxed.
Choose an anchor (or anchors) that you wish to trigger the resourceful state.
Recall a memory or imagine a situation where you can experience the state. So recall or imagine a time when you experienced the state.
Active the anchor or anchors when the experience is vivid and you are in the desired state.  (as the state begins to rise)
Release the anchors when the experience begins to fade.If you keep applying the anchor when the experience is fading, then you will anchor a drop in calmness and relaxation!
Do something else – open your eyes … count down from 10 to break state and distract yourself.
Repeat the steps several times, each time making the memory more vivid. This is not actually required when the anchor is established at the high point of the experience. However, you can strengthen the anchor by establishing it at the high point of several such experiences.
Apply the anchor and check that the required state occurs.
Future pace the situation where you want to experience the desired state. Fire the anchor to check that it creates a sufficiently resourced state..
Check the anchor the next day to ensure it is a permanent anchor.

Tips

The anchor (or anchors) should be fired in exactly the same way every time you link them to the resourceful experience.
Anchor as the state begins to rise and release just after the peak
If you do not experience the state when future pacing and especially if you experience anxiety, then stop applying the anchor. (You will anchor the negative state!)
There is a knowingness which makes anchoring work that is established by the unconscious mind.
You can strengthen the anchor by repeating the above process over several days.
If you are in a situation where you experience the desired state in reality, then you can reestablish the anchor to that situation.

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Police officers Face Cumulative PTSD

Unlike a physical injury, a mental traumatic injury can happen almost daily when you work in policing… as well as any other first responder capacity.  Fire, Ambulance, Corrections, Nurses, Doctors and of course our Military Personnel.   The number of RCMP officers recognized by the federal government for suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and related conditions has nearly doubled in five years, according to statistics obtained by The Globe and Mail.

Sgt. Gagnon states “Since April, 2014, 77 first responders have taken their own lives,” he testified. He did not provide a breakdown of that figure.

Even with all we know about its effects and ways to treat it, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is common among police officers and continues to take its toll on their lives and those of their families.  Police service is an inherently stressful occupation, which often results in both physical (e.g., cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, musculoskeletal problems) and psychological symptoms (increased depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder; e.g., Berg et al., 2006).

Most of what people think of PTSD as it relates to trauma suffered by soldiers and those in the military. And, yes this does happen, however, police officers’ PTSD tends to manifest over time, resulting from multiple stress-related experiences. This is better known as cumulative PTSD.

Cumulative PTSD can be even more dangerous than PTSD caused from a single traumatic event, largely because cumulative PTSD is more likely to go unnoticed and untreated.  As a result, an officer with cumulative PTSD is less likely to receive treatment. Unlike a physical injury, a mental traumatic injury can happen almost daily.  If untreated, officers can become a risk to themselves and others.

Former Toronto Police officer Bill Rusk is the executive director of Badge of Life Canada. He is also a PTSD sufferer.  Rusk wants to eradicate the stigma remaining around cops and mental illness.  When Tory MP Todd Doherty is asked why there is a need for federal legislation to better protect first responders’ mental health, he questions why it hasn’t been done before.

Doherty said there still exists instances where suffering first responders are told to “suck it up.” “Whether you’re a paramedic, a firefighter, or a police officer, it is a very macho field and industry.”

CAUSES OF PTSD

Numerous events can cause PTSD in police officers, such as hostage situations, dangerous drug busts, responding to fatal accidents, and working other cases that include serious injury or death. But there are many less traumatic situations that can still be extremely stressful for an officer. Other stressful situations include, but are not limited to: long hours; handling people’s bad attitudes; waiting for the next call and not knowing what the situation will be; and even politics within the department. Then, on top of it all, officers are frequently criticized, scrutinized, and investigated for decisions they make.  Many of those decisions needing to be made quickly, swiftly and under duress.

SIGNS OF PTSD

If recognized early and treated properly, officers and their families can overcome the debilitating effects of cumulative PTSD. The key to early intervention and treatment is recognizing the signs of PTSD and seeking help sooner rather than later.

Some of the physical signs officers should look for in themselves include:

Fatigue
Vomiting or nausea
Chest pain
Twitches
Thirst
Insomnia or nightmares
Breathing difficulty
Grinding of teeth
Profuse sweating
Pounding heart
Diarrhea or intestinal upsets
Headaches

Behavioral signs family members of officers and officers should look for in themselves and in others include:

Withdrawal from family and friends
Pacing and restlessness
Emotional outbursts
Anti-social acts
Suspicion and paranoia
Increased alcohol consumption and other substance abuse

Emotional signs include:

Anxiety or panic
Guilt
Fear
Denial
Irritability
Depression
Intense anger, even rage
Agitation
Apprehension

The training new recruits receive is simply not enough to prepare them for the reality of the experiences they will face throughout their careers. Many officers are also not adequately equipped with the emotional tools necessary to deal with the emotions they will feel when things happen.

However, awareness continues to grow about the stress and trauma that officers’ experience.  Becoming aware of different modalities that can help is key.  Techniques such as Time Line Therapy, hypnosis & NLP Coaching can help officers and first responders to overcome, alleviate and diminish the symptoms of PTSD.  The Warrior Program in the UK, endorsed by the Royal Family helps Veterans with PTSD using such modalities with great success.

If you would like to book a consultation and learn more, please reach out to me – lynnthier@gmail.com 

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & PTSD & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

The post Police officers Face Cumulative PTSD appeared first on Lynn Thier.

Police officers face cumulative PTSD

Unlike a physical injury, a mental traumatic injury can happen almost daily when you work in policing… as well as any other first responder capacity.  Fire, Ambulance, Corrections, and of course our Military Personnel.   The number of RCMP officers recognized by the federal government for suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and related conditions has nearly doubled in five years, according to statistics obtained by The Globe and Mail.

Sgt. Gagnon states “Since April, 2014, 77 first responders have taken their own lives,” he testified. He did not provide a breakdown of that figure.

Even with all we know about its effects and ways to treat it, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is common among police officers and continues to take its toll on their lives and those of their families.  Police service is an inherently stressful occupation, which often results in both physical (e.g., cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, musculoskeletal problems) and psychological symptoms (increased depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder; e.g., Berg et al., 2006).

Most of what people think of PTSD as it relates to trauma suffered by soldiers and those in the military. And, yes this does happen, however, police officers’ PTSD tends to manifest over time, resulting from multiple stress-related experiences. This is better known as cumulative PTSD.

Cumulative PTSD can be even more dangerous than PTSD caused from a single traumatic event, largely because cumulative PTSD is more likely to go unnoticed and untreated.  As a result, an officer with cumulative PTSD is less likely to receive treatment. Unlike a physical injury, a mental traumatic injury can happen almost daily.  If untreated, officers can become a risk to themselves and others.

Former Toronto Police officer Bill Rusk is the executive director of Badge of Life Canada. He is also a PTSD sufferer.  Rusk wants to eradicate the stigma remaining around cops and mental illness.  When Tory MP Todd Doherty is asked why there is a need for federal legislation to better protect first responders’ mental health, he questions why it hasn’t been done before.

Doherty said there still exists instances where suffering first responders are told to “suck it up.” “Whether you’re a paramedic, a firefighter, or a police officer, it is a very macho field and industry.”

CAUSES OF PTSD

Numerous events can cause PTSD in police officers, such as hostage situations, dangerous drug busts, responding to fatal accidents, and working other cases that include serious injury or death. But there are many less traumatic situations that can still be extremely stressful for an officer. Other stressful situations include, but are not limited to: long hours; handling people’s bad attitudes; waiting for the next call and not knowing what the situation will be; and even politics within the department. Then, on top of it all, officers are frequently criticized, scrutinized, and investigated for decisions they make.  Many of those decisions needing to be made quickly, swiftly and under duress.

SIGNS OF PTSD

If recognized early and treated properly, officers and their families can overcome the debilitating effects of cumulative PTSD. The key to early intervention and treatment is recognizing the signs of PTSD and seeking help sooner rather than later.

Some of the physical signs officers should look for in themselves include:

Fatigue
Vomiting or nausea
Chest pain
Twitches
Thirst
Insomnia or nightmares
Breathing difficulty
Grinding of teeth
Profuse sweating
Pounding heart
Diarrhea or intestinal upsets
Headaches

Behavioral signs family members of officers and officers should look for in themselves and in others include:

Withdrawal from family and friends
Pacing and restlessness
Emotional outbursts
Anti-social acts
Suspicion and paranoia
Increased alcohol consumption and other substance abuse

Emotional signs include:

Anxiety or panic
Guilt
Fear
Denial
Irritability
Depression
Intense anger, even rage
Agitation
Apprehension

The training new recruits receive is simply not enough to prepare them for the reality of the experiences they will face throughout their careers. Many officers are also not adequately equipped with the emotional tools necessary to deal with the emotions they will feel when things happen.

However, awareness continues to grow about the stress and trauma that officers’ experience.  Becoming aware of different modalities that can help is key.  Techniques such as Time Line Therapy, hypnosis & NLP Coaching can help officers and first responders to overcome, alleviate and diminish the symptoms of PTSD.  The Warrior Program in the UK, endorsed by the Royal Family helps Veterans with PTSD using such modalities with great success.

If you would like to book a consultation and learn more, please reach out to me – lynnthier@gmail.com 

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & PTSD & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

The post Police officers face cumulative PTSD appeared first on Lynn Thier.

Tips to Relieve STRESS…Now !

Stress is what happens when the demands on our time and energy exceed our perceived capacity. When we have what we need to adapt effectively, this stimulus for change leads to growth.  When we don’t have or don’t think we have the resources we need to meet the expectations or tasks of our day, our brains shift into survival mode. Unfortunately, this usually means we’re stuck in a fear state, pumping out stress hormones that we don’t actually use, building up toxic inflammation in our body that breaks us down over time and blocks our ability to problem solve effectively.  AH stress!

By using humor strategically, and actually planning time to experience things you find funny on a regular basis, you build a mental muscle that is more in tune to the humor of your day. Just like anything else you pay attention to, you experience more of what you focus your mind to see. We are bombarded with 11 million bits of info per second.  Our brains can only handle 126 bits per second.  Which 126 bits are you focusing on?  Chose to change your lenses and focus on a different 126 bits!

So if you want to have more fun, play, and laughter in your life, why not be proactive about putting things in your path that will shift you in that direction. Here are a few quick techniques to do:

1) Share a funny image with a friend every day via text message and have a laugh…

2) Add a funny cartoon to your email signature.

3) Create a funny playlist with videos you enjoy to watch during your morning and afternoon recharge break.

4) Go on a walk and look for things to find funny and humorist.

5) Find a funny podcast or YouTube channel to listen to each evening to reset your brain to relax.  Laughter creates feel good endorphins and also helps with depression and anxiety!

The best way to create a new habit is to enlist the support of a friend, so ask someone to be your humor buddy and commit to share things you find funny as often as you can. Each time you receive your humor nudge you’ll be reminded to stop and reflect, and when you share you’ll not only find funny yourself you’ll know that you’re contributing to help recharge someone you care about.

The more we commit to shift our stress for good, the more positive and calm our world will become. Little neural nudges can make a big difference when we’re all practicing together. And the more we can all see funny, the better we can collaborate to solve the stress of the world.

To your stressless life – be well and have fun!

My name is Lynn and I’m a thriver – from sexual abuse and suicide to thriving in life and helping others do the same.  I use NLP Coaching, and Time Line Therapy to teach kids and adults alike on how to go into their future time line to get rid of their anxiety… I provide breakthrough sessions lasting 6 to 10 hours to help get rid of negative emotions and limiting beliefs – that nagging problem could be gone in a short time using specific modalities that work with our unconscious mind… book your consultation today!

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

The post Tips to Relieve STRESS…Now ! appeared first on Lynn Thier.

Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse in Adults & How to deal with it?

Secrets and more Secrets… who doesn’t have family secrets?  But what if those secrets are secreting killing you.  Literally. Secrets, Negative Emotions trapped at the cellular level create disease, even cancer!

What isn’t discussed much are the effects that adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse have to deal with. As an adult survivor, I’ve learned so much about these effects, as many of them were present in my own life without me even realizing it. If you’re an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it may be worth your time to read up on some of these. If you were abused, even if you went through counselling or therapy, you may still have to deal with some of these issues. It’s easier to fix problems if you can identify them.

This is a list of some of the more common effects of childhood sexual abuse in adult survivors. As is true with most things, these may not all apply to you or your situation. There also may be issues with which you struggle that may not appear on this list. If you feel like you are experiencing inexplicable emotions or issues, reach out!  Do something different to get different results. I’m writing this to inform and encourage you to pinpoint some issues you possibly didn’t know could be connected to abuse you may have suffered.

Psychological/behavioral effects

-Dissociation, or feeling detached, confused, or feeling like your reality is not the same as everyone else’s are quite common feelings.  You may experience trouble with trust, whether it be not finding yourself able to trust, or trusting too easily.  Always wondering if you are making the right decisions.

-You may have trouble establishing boundaries in relationships due to the fact that your boundaries were compromised at a young age.  I had a tough time with putting up boundaries that were healthy for a very long time.

-You may experience flashbacks to the event(s) that happened to you and -Low self esteem is common in adult survivors.

-Many people feel the need to self medicate with drugs, alcohol or other addictions as a coping mechanism.  Some use sex to numb others stay away from intimacy or relationships

-You may experience isolation, or a fear of intimacy with partners and many people contemplate or attempt suicide or self injury.  I attempted suicide at age 15 and landed in the hospital for 3 months.  No one knew what happened… When asked by the social worker if i was ever sexually abuse, i flat out said NO!

-Eating disorders may be experienced.  Many adult survivors put on weight, even at the unconscious level  as protection.

-Adult survivors are often susceptible to repeat victimizations because they are sometimes more likely to “accept” being a victim and some Victims often anticipate an early death.

-Extreme anxiety or panic attacks are often caused by childhood sexual abuse.

-Difficulty concentrating, comprehending, or answering simple questions are symptoms.

-Many experience feelings of social withdrawal, or the inability to relate to others.

-Sometimes adult survivors may have sexual fantasies about raping or abusing others.

-The opposite is also true – many experience fantasies about being raped, tortured, or abused and a Fear of medical procedures is common.

Emotional effects

-Constant grief or mourning are common among adult survivors of sexual abuse because of the loss of innocent, childhood, normal relationships as a child, and trust.

-Guilt may be felt due to the fact that you possibly experienced physical pleasure at the time of the abuse.

-The silence that surrounds abuse can lead to feelings of shame.

-Depression is common.

-Feelings of extreme anger or inexplicable rage are common.

Physical effects

-Gastrointestinal distress, nausea, and chronic pelvic pain can be present.

-Headaches or migraines are common among survivors.

-Asthma and/or breathing problems can occur.

-Unreleased stress can lead to back or skeletal pain. Keeping emotions in creates chronic pain.

-Victims are twice as likely to be smokers, and more likely to be physically inactive and overweight/obese.

-Severe gag reflex has been reported, even when nothing is in the mouth.

There are many more after-effects of childhood sexual abuse that adults may experience. There is a solution, something different to do if you are open.  After 30 years of medications, depression, anxiety, pain and going through therapy, i thought nothing would work for me.  Until i found different techniques such as Time Line Therapy(R), NLP and Hypnosis… everything is stored in our unconscious mind, wouldn’t it make sense to work with this part of our brain to get results?  YES.

I use NLP Coaching, Hypnosis, Nutrition, Fitness, Reiki Healing and Time Line Therapy when working with clients.  If you would like to book a consultation and learn more, please reach out.

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

 

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Does NLP (or Time Line Therapy®) Work For Anxiety?

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Here is the answer to a common question in NLP. (The NLP technique we use for anxiety is Time Line Therapy®.)

Since Sigmund Freud called it “angst” (which relates to anxiety and fear), Anxiety has been one of the most commonly heard complaints by therapists and councilors. If it persists over some time, Anxiety can interfere with work, relationships and even your sleep. If Anxiety reaches the stage of panic then it can be really disabling.

Emotionally, the basis for Anxiety is Fear, but unlike Fear, which relates primarily to the past, Anxiety is a future oriented emotion. So, Anxiety is basically Fear of the future. The procedure for treating Anxiety is as simple and easy as any other NLP or Time Line Therapy® technique. The process can be done by children as young as age 3 and adults as old as 90 years. Simply put, we treat Fear first and then Anxiety. The two emotions are, however treated differently.

Using Time Line Therapy®, Fear (related to the past) is treated in the same way as any other negative emotion — it is released using the process for releasing negative emotions. Anxiety, though relating to the future can also be released using Time Line Therapy®, although the procedure is different. Simply put, the client is asked to imagine floating above his Time Line and to go to a point above and after the “successful completion” of the event. In virtually every case, the Anxiety disappears at that point.

Time Line Therapy® is so effective in treating Anxiety, that it has been used by the British Military’s Warrior Project for PTSD, and by Russian Psychologists to treat the soldiers traumatized in the Chechen war. Here is an excerpt from a Russian web site with the study that included Time Line Therapy®. The results included, “Solving of individual problems of participants-decreasing of anxiety and depression, reestablishment of the cycle ‘sleep-awaking’…”

“Psychotherapy and psychological help was based on Five-steps model by N. Peseschcian- 10h. There was used: First interview, specially selected Eastern stories, that give intuitive dimension to consulting, Time-Line Therapy, techniques of empty chair and non-finished letter, that help to part with lost relative, ask to forgive. …” “Group training was counted on 20 days (2 days, 10h. a day). The quantity of participants was more than 20 persons.”

3 more thoughts:

Can You Do It?

Some people worry about whether they can go deep enough to get results. Time Line Therapy® is designed to work in the lightest level of trance, and without hypnosis. Going deeper doesn’t make it work faster or better. With the Time Line Therapy® technique, going deep isn’t required, and that really reduces up the time taken.

Time Line Therapy® techniques are “content-free.”

You don’t have to relive the events, or to even know the content of the event that created the negative emotion or the limiting belief. It’s just a matter of allowing your unconscious mind to locate the original root cause in your past. Your unconscious mind already knows where the cause is located. Not having to consciously know, analyze or revisit the content of what happened speeds up the process and is particularly beneficial to those not wanting to re-experience events which might have been uncomfortable, unpleasant or even traumatic.

The results of Time Line Therapy™ are not temporary.

The negative emotions or limiting beliefs are released once and for all. They are not just buried. So, you can begin your new life today!

Written by my teacher, trainer – Dr. Tad James – Creator of Time Line Therapy(R) techniques!

I teach parents and their children how to cope and deal with anxiety once and for all.  I use NLP Coaching, and Time Line Therapy to teach kids and adults alike on how to go into their future time line to get rid of their anxiety…  It usually only takes 2 to 4 sessions!  If you would like to book a consultation and learn more, please reach out.

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

 

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5 Ways Caring Parents are making Teen Anxiety Worse

Your happy-go-lucky child has turned into an anxiety-ridden teen. It is a painful thing to watch. Activities that were once enjoyable are now avoided. Getting to school is a miracle. Instead of driving to the mall, you are driving to the doctors with many complaints and issues.

Teen anxiety is not only debilitating for your teen, it is debilitating for the whole family.  So how do you make this nightmare go away? How do parents help with teen anxiety?  You can start off learning what not to do – and then go from there. 

Here are 5 common mistakes I see good parents making…

Accommodating their teen’s anxiety.

Parents feel bad for their kids. They don’t want anxiety for their kids and they want to make it go away. And so they help them to do just that.

Their kids don’t want to attend classes or go to school – They switch them to online schooling or let them skip all together.

Their kids don’t want to sleep alone. They give them a permanent spot in their bed.

Their kids are afraid to do new things. They never push them out of their comfort zone.

Helping kids with teen anxiety is a balancing act. You don’t want to push your teens too hard, but you don’t want to not encourage this “fear based” behavior.

Help your child develop coping strategies and then encourage them to slowly fight back!

Forcing Teens to Face Their Fears Too Soon

The flip side – there are parents who are too pushy… They hate to see their teens suffer, so they force them to face their fears. The intention is good, but the delivery is bad.

Parents believe they can strong arm their teens to face their fears and that will “get them over it.” and it doesn’t Unfortunately teen anxiety doesn’t work that way. Forcing teens to do things that they are not ready to do can backfire.

Accommodating their fears is not helpful, but too much pushing can have a similar effect. They can both stop any progress from occurring.  Small challenges add up to big results.

Putting too much pressure on fixing anxiety.

Unfortunately this is a battle you cannot fight for them. When you fight teen anxiety harder than your teens you do two things. You make them hide their anxiety – which is the opposite of what you want to do. And second, you make them feel overwhelmed. When this happens, many teens just give up.

This is your teen’s battle, not yours. Be a supportive passenger. You are not the driver.

Believing their teen is manipulating them.

I meet many parents who completely believe their teens are using anxiety as an excuse. I hear things like, “He is just lazy and doesn’t want to go to school”  Most teens are embarrassed to have teen anxiety and would do anything to NOT have this problem.

When you view your teen’s anxiety as manipulation you are going to parent it with discipline and annoyance – both of which will exacerbate the issue.

Having misperceptions of anxiety.

I often hear parents say things like, “I don’t understand why she is afraid of that – nothing bad has ever happened to her?” Parents rack their brains with questions like “Is he being bullied?” And “Did she go through a trauma we don’t know about?” Usually, the answer is – no.

children just like adults can learn skills to overcome their anxiety.  Using NLP tools as well as Time Line Therapy can be very effective.

So now that you know what not to do – what should you do? Arm your teen with coping mechanisms. Take them to a therapist that can help them build these skills. Give your child support and encouragement, that they are in charge of their mind, their thoughts and can will help and learning – they can choose different thought patterns to help them cope and thrive.

Help your teen with these steps:

1. Identify the anxiety triggers

2. Teach them coping skills to face their anxiety

3. Set up small challenges to help them face their fears which will give them small win’s

4. Have them learn about themselves, their brains/thoughts and how it all relates to how they feel and their behavior.  NLP can teach them this…

If you are looking for someone to work with your child who is experiencing anxiety/depression, please reach out and schedule a consultation.

The good news: Anxiety can be successfully managed!

Parents play an essential role in helping their child or teen manage anxiety. When coping skills and brave behavior is rewarded and practiced in the home, children and teens can learn to face their fears, take reasonable risks, and ultimately gain confidence. Anxiety starts with our thoughts and focus.  What is your child thinking about or focusing on?  Likely something that they don’t want to have happen.

I teach parents and their children how to cope and deal with anxiety once and for all.  I use NLP Coaching, and Time Line Therapy to teach kids and adults alike on how to go into their future time line to get rid of their anxiety…  It usually only takes 2 to 4 sessions!  If you would like to book a consultation and learn more, please reach out.

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

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10 Limiting beliefs to give up to be Happy!

10 Limiting Beliefs You Should Give Up to Be Happy

 

Time Line Therapy® is a set of easy techniques that allow you to let go, and remove completely Negative Emotions and Limiting Beliefs as well as Limiting Decisions from the past.

This seems to be not so important right? Who cares? It happened in the past!

But what you may not have considered is that your past experiences make you who you are today! You act and react to life situations today based on all accumulated experience from the past and this is a good thing. However, your behavior today is not based on your Negative Emotions and Limiting Decisions from the past but from what you learned through those experiences as bad as they were.

So, the assumption here is as follows: it is through the learnings you accumulated in the past that you can keep safe and protected in the present and in the future. It is through these learnings you keep from repeating old mistakes. And finally it is through these learnings that you grow and develop new and beneficial strategies for the present and for the future.

Therefore the role of Negative Emotions from the past is nil. Negative Emotions in the moment are good because they yow you something is wrong in your life, but those Negative Emotions you felt 20 years ago are useless. They were good then, in that moment, but 20 years later they are useless. The learning you gained through that old experience is priceless.

So keep the learning, let go of the old emotions stored on your past memories.  So far so good?

But what about Limiting Beliefs? Beliefs that you may have made in a moment of anger, or frustration, or resentment, or jealousy? Beliefs that your Unconscious Mind still holds in there not knowing how to let them go?

As you read keep in mind Time Line Therapy® which is the method for releasing all of these life limiting beliefs.

Here are some beliefs you could be much better without.

I am not ________ enough (fill in the blank with “good”, “smart”, pretty”, “capable”, “young”, “old”, “handsome”, “well-off”, “wise”, “knowledgeable”… and the list goes on). This is one of the most common and really damaging beliefs that limit people’s ability to prosper, to find joyful and meaningful relationships, to find solutions to otherwise difficult situations, and so on. This leads obviously to low self-esteem (I wrote a little e-book about that and how damaging it is – see it here.
I Don’t Want To Feel Emotions This is another common belief. Yes, it is just that – a belief or even a decision. As a result of being hurt, many people decided that it is better if they don’t feel any emotion. They dissociate so badly they become almost like biological androids. The fear of being hurt again is bigger than the experience of emotions. They become emotionally dead. This creates problems everywhere – think relationships …
I Don’t Know What My Purpose In Life Is I just recently wrote another article touching on this one because I get questions from students asking me what would be their purpose in life. First of all your purpose inside you and therefore it is up to you – and so your purpose is what you make it to be. Only you would know, so you need to find out. There are ways of doing just that…. Find something that interests and drives you in the moment, and if this is not what you’re meant to do for your larger purpose in life you’ll find out soon enough. Then you can change. Maybe the larger purpose is made up of different parts…Remember one thing – only you can figure this one out, but first let go of that belief!


It Is Dangerous To Be Better Than All The Others. This belief leads to inner conflicts especially if you are a high achiever or if you are the type prone to follow up with your goals. In Australia it is called “the tall poppy” and in the US it is known as the “crab in the bucket” syndrome. Do not dare to stick your head above the average, or you’ll be cut to the level. This belief only helps you to stay in a perpetual unhappiness since it is based on fear, not on a positive uplifting emotion.


All Others Have It Easier than Me. Oh boy! This one is so bad is silly! If the grass is always greener somewhere else, you’re never going to be happy! Never! Comparing yourself all the time with others is not really constructive. Look at everything you achieved. From the smallest to the biggest. Acknowledge that. With this belief though, no matter what you have, no matter what you are or what you do you’ll never be happy because you’ll never be ______ enough!


Only after I get ________ I’ll be happy. Happiness is a feeling. You can be happy at any time if you find happiness around you. If you hold this belief in your Unconscious Mind, even with the greatest riches, the best man/woman next to you, the greatest car(s), etc., you’ll never be happy – because you believe you can’t be happy!


Life is too hard. This belief goes hand in hand with number two above. Very dangerous belief. Life is as hard for you as for everybody else. It may seem to you that some have it easier. They might have it easier financially than you, but if you were to look closely you might find a lot of trouble somewhere else in their life. They might have it easier in relationships, but how is their health? You get the idea. Life is hard – so what? Life is worth living. Give up the “hard” belief, and you’ll see that all difficulties become solvable. You cannot find any solutions with this belief, because you don’t even try.


My _______Are To Blame for Everything That’s Happening to Me Now. Insert here “past”, “father/mother”, “bother/sister”, “school”, “economy”, “background”, “friends”, “ex boy/girlfriend”, “boss”, “lover”, etc.) Hmmm…. How much can you do about them? If they hurt you, or did not pay attention to you, or even worse, in some cases abused you, who’s suffering now? They or you? Of course you can suffer for the rest of your life, and be an unfortunate victim, but guess what? They don’t care. They did not care then, and they don’t care now! So, only if you let go of the blame game, you can be free. I know – easier said than done. You need some Time Line Therapy® intervention to be free of this one, but we saw it happening so often in our NLP trainings… it is really common. I now I am asking you to trust me on this one because you were so badly bruised and hurt you cannot imagine even being free of this one. But I have experienced it myself and I have seen it in every training where I teach many people how to liberate themselves from their hurtful past. But that requires you changing that belief and taking responsibility for your present and future happiness.


Relationships Are Painful – I’m Burned Out. I Don’t Want A Relationship Anymore. This is an extremely un-useful belief. You only cut yourself from experiencing one of the most positive feelings – Love. Love doesn’t hurt, expectations do. They say that if you give up on love you give up on life. Learn from your past relationships – are you repeating the same pattern? Then there is surely something for you to get so you don’t do it anymore. But the belief itself won’t make that happen – and it won’t keep you safe. Remember you need to experience darkness in order to find the light.


I Can’t Be Happy Unless I’m In A Relationship. This is the opposite of number 9 and leads to mistake after mistake. With this beliefs usually people jump in relationships based on emotional responses only without reasoning first whether it is the right thing to do and thus they repeat over and over again the same pattern. This is just a belief that makes you appear and even be clingy. Yes you can be happy on your own – how many people do you know who are deeply unhappy in relationships? Happiness is up to you not up to another individual. With a good supportive group of friends or family members you can be happy. And when you give up the need, the “must have” … usually you find what you’re looking for.

Until next time, be well. – AUTHOR and my Teacher – Adrianna James from NLP coaching!

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

 

 

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Fun Fit Fridays~Short Workout for YOU!

If you’re struggling in any way with stress, anxiety, depression… the best thing you can do is move your body! it not only will change your physiology, it will change your brain!

Only 4 exercises…. You can repeat this workout anywhere from 3 to 10 times depending on your fitness level. Do the exercise for 30 seconds with a 15 second rest in between.

Toe touch jacks, Plant with knee in alternating, burpees and seated twists.

I teach parents and their children how to cope and deal with anxiety once and for all.  I use NLP Coaching, and Time Line Therapy to teach kids and adults alike on how to go into their future time line to get rid of their anxiety…  It usually only takes 2 to 4 sessions!  If you would like to book a consultation and learn more, please reach out.

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

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Anxiety and our Children… Is there a simple solution?

Does any of this sound like your child or teen?

Clinging, crying and/or tantrums when you separate
Excessive shyness, avoiding social situations
Constant worry
Avoiding situations or places because of fears
Complaints of frequent stomachaches or headaches
Experiencing sudden and frequent panic attacks

If you answered yes to any of these statements your child may be experiencing anxiety.

As a parent of an anxious child, you are not alone.

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health concerns for children and adults, affecting upwards of 20% of children and adolescents over the lifespan. Anxious youth are often quiet and well behaved, and thus frequently go unnoticed by their parents, teachers, and coaches. Alternatively others can be disruptive and act out, being labeled as having attention deficit disorder or being a “bad” kid. Both scenarios result in youth failing to receive the help they desperately need. Sadly, untreated anxiety can lead to depression, missed opportunities in career and relationships, increased substance use, and a decreased quality of life.

Children with anxiety can appear oppositional or irritable, because they are so distracted by worries and focusing on what they don’t want. They can be explosive, moody or tearful.  Parents may often wait for their child to “grow out of it”, never expecting their child to become even more debilitated over time. Other parents viewed the anxious behaviours as normal as, they, too behaved in a similar way. As a result, parents of anxious children and teens are often confused about what to do, as well as frustrated, and overwhelmed.

The good news: Anxiety can be successfully managed!

Parents play an essential role in helping their child or teen manage anxiety. When coping skills and brave behavior is rewarded and practiced in the home, children and teens can learn to face their fears, take reasonable risks, and ultimately gain confidence. Anxiety starts with our thoughts and focus.  What is your child thinking about or focusing on?  Likely something that they don’t want to have happen.

I teach parents and their children how to cope and deal with anxiety once and for all.  I use NLP Coaching, and Time Line Therapy to teach kids and adults alike on how to go into their future time line to get rid of their anxiety…  It usually only takes 2 to 4 sessions!  If you would like to book a consultation and learn more, please reach out.

About Lynn:

Lynn Thier will get you there ~ with practical cutting edge methods for making positive shifts, change and performance.  Owner of Results Coaching, Consulting & Training, Lynn teaches and consults on how to make change happen.  Lynn offers seminars, training’s and programs. Lynn also works with individuals suffering with mental health issues such as Anxiety, Depression & Trauma.  Connect today ~ www.lynnthier.com

The post Anxiety and our Children… Is there a simple solution? appeared first on Lynn Thier.