Genevive Chamblee's Blog, page 9

KOP Classic Planner Review

I just received my Kell of a Plan planner for 2024 today. It’s a vertical layout in the classic size. When I sized it up against my current HP classic planner, the covers were just a tad (not much) longer. I’m no expert on planners and don’t normally write product reviews but decided to give an honest review for the following reasons.

I’ve watched many release videos from influencers, and most are either sponsored or a personal friend. Therefore, there may be (not saying there is) bias in their reviews. I’m neither sponsored nor a personal friend.I’ve struggled with finding a planner I want to use in the upcoming year. I thought my sharing may help others with their decision-making.

DISCLAIMER: The following are my opinions. Please investigate for yourself.

I’m starting with the cons just to get them out of the way.

CONS:

Cover design. From what I could tell, KOP released three planners for 2024 (two classic vertical and one dashboard). I was only interested in the vertical layout and didn’t care for either of the covers. I went with the one that I liked the inside more.The size of the numbers on the weekly pages is huge. As someone who likes to decorate the top of the page, the size of these numbers will mean covering up.The cost is on the pricey side. HOWEVER, the cost is understandable considering the quality and that this is an indie brand.

PROS:

This order arrived very quickly. In fact, I was shocked that I got it when I did.The packaging was very secure to prevent damage during shipping.The covers are reversible. I’ve already flipped mine and like it much better this way.The dividers are dual-sided and can be reused in other planners without removing half of the monthly calendar.The discs are metal instead of plastic.The paper is of good quality, and I can use brush pens and dot markers without bleeding or shadowing.The spine on the monthly and weekly pages is completely neutral.The weekly layouts are designed with the weekdays on the left and weekend and sidebar on the right.The sidebar is a dot grid.The tabs are neutral and easy to read.Each month has two pages that can be personalized to be anything. One is at the beginning of the month (although this has some design) and the other is at the end of the month (with a small quote in the left corner).It has a perpetual calendar with the weekends shaded.It has a coordinating sticker book.

Mixed feelings:

There is a page for important dates. I like that it has been included, but I wish it wasn’t labeled as “important dates.” I’ve all but decided to use that page for another purpose, and the hand lettering is so large on the top that covering it up is bound to not look great. But it can be covered.I’m not a fan of some of the divider artwork, but I get that it’s on theme. It’s just a little busy for my personal taste.

Impressions:

Overall, I’m very satisfied with this purchase and believe that I will truly enjoy using it next year. The pros far outweigh any cons.

That’s all I’ve got. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or X (formerly tweet) me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search for me on Goodreads, Amazon Authors, BookBub, Bluesky, Threads, or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and sign up today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the Bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

Fall Cooking Jambalaya

Autumn is here… or so the calendar would have us believe. Good ol’ Mr. Heat Index says otherwise. Flowers are still in bloom, and the leaves are still bright and green. Some pools have closed only because most people have completed vacationing for the year. But I’ve yet to see anyone pull out a sweater or cozy hoody. Yes, fall right now remains an elusive myth.

As I was brainstorming topics for this post, it dawned on me that I hadn’t shared a recipe in a good book. I flipped through my blog Rolodex, and either, there are cards missing or I’ve never posted a recipe for jambalaya. I could have sworn that I had. Nonetheless, jambalaya is a Creole and Cajun staple and one that comes to mind when I think of cooler weather. Of course, it is a meal served year-round, but jambalaya is a timeless basic that sticks to your bones, fills your belly, and warms you up on a chilly night. It’s easy to make, quick to prep, and hard to screw up.

Ingredients:

1 yellow onion (diced)2 green bell peppers (seeded)6 celery ribs (diced)¼ tsp salt¼ tsp garlic powder¼ tsp ground pepper¼ tsp cayenne pepper1 tsp thyme1 tsp oregano2 tsp tomato paste2 tbsp butter (real, not margarine)2 tbsp hot sauce2 cups tomatoes (whole)2 cups long-grain rice4 cups chicken stock¾ lbs. Andouille sausage (sliced)1 ¼ lbs. chicken (skinless, boneless, diced

Directions:

In a large saucepan, sauté the sausage until brown on both sides. Remove from the pan and set aside, leaving the grease in the pan.In the sausage grease, sauté the chicken until brown. Remove from the pan and set aside, leaving the grease in the pan.Add butter to the grease, and allow to melt.Sauté onions, celery, and bell pepper then add tomatoes, all of the seasonings, and broth.Add the sausage and chicken and allow to cook for approximately ten minutes.Add the rice and allow to come to a boil.Reduce the heat to low and cook until all the liquid has been absorbed.

And that’s a wrap for this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or X (formerly tweet) me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search for me on Goodreads, Amazon Authors, BookBub, Bluesky, Threads, or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and sign up today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the Bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

How to Cope with Horrible Bosses

Believe it or not, this post wasn’t inspired by the movie, but no joke, it could be a sequel or next installment. Today’s tale was told by an associate who joined our little after-work group because he needed a drink, ears to bend, and suggestions of what to do. I’m no stranger to stories that make you second guess the order in life, but this was one for the classics.

The employee in question, I will refer to as Sam (for no other reason than that was the first name that came to mind) and his supervisor as Eva. Sam has both more years of experience and a higher degree than Eva, but Eva has friends in administrative positions. When it came time for who was promoted, nepotism won. Initially, Sam was upset by being passed over yet again for a promotion. He began to wonder if it was him and if he would ever advance up the ranks. He concluded that a promotion wasn’t in the cards for him for whatever reason but that this may not be a bad thing. As the saying goes: when one door closes another door opens. He began to look at life beyond his current job and decided to begin building a side hustle that will one day become his primary paycheck. Not being promoted at his current job both gives him free time and motivation to become self-employed. Until then, he works his primary job for a paycheck and insurance. His heart and effort to impress employers are long gone, and he has become one of those “basic” employees. He performs his job to the bare minimal standard and nothing more. His attitude now is if his supervisor is being paid to do the job that no one thought he was qualified to do, then the supervisor can do the majority of the work. Perhaps not the best work ethic to have, but it’s understandable when for years one has felt underappreciated and undervalued while going the extra mile.

Additionally, the company does not give raises based on merit. All raises are across the board and the same amount regardless of employee performance. And this leads to another issue of mules. Some employees are required to pull the weight of slackers, and the slackers go unpunished. In fact, slackers are rewarded because they receive benefits without doing the work. For years, Sam was a mule pulling extra loads because he felt it was the right thing to do. However, after years of doing this with little to no appreciation his burnout has whittled away his loyalty, and he has no incentive to do the bare minimum.

Four terms that psychologists talk about are positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, positive punishment, and negative punishment. Due to how these terms are used in daily language, it’s easy to confuse what they mean psychologically. In psychological terms, positive/negative and reinforcement/punishment do not perfectly correlate to “good” and “bad.” Reinforcers are intended to increase behavior while punishments are intended to decrease behaviors. Instead, they refer to addition/subtraction, increase/decrease, and desired/undesired.

Positive reinforcement refers to adding something (i.e., reinforcing or rewarding) desirable or positive behavior in an effort to increase the likelihood that a desired behavior will increase in the future. For example, a paycheck or a raise would be examples of positive reinforcement.

Negative reinforcement works the same way except it involves removing something uncomfortable or unpleasant to increase the likelihood that a desired behavior will increase in the future. An example of negative reinforcement would be an employee completing his/her assignments early or on time to avoid having to work late, on the weekends, and/or on a holiday. In this example, taking away (i.e., removing) working late, on weekends, and/or holidays (something the employee finds unpleasant) results in increasing the likelihood that work assignments are completed in a timely manner.

The general concept of punishment refers to adding or removing a consequence to decrease the likelihood that an undesirable behavior will reoccur.

Positive punishment involves adding an aversive stimulus to reduce the probability that the behavior will happen again. Being verbally reprimanded by a supervisor for missing a deadline is an example of positive punishment. In this example, the verbal reprimand is what is added to decrease the likelihood that the employee will miss future deadlines.

Negative punishment refers to removing an aversive stimulus to decrease the probability that the behavior will reoccur in the future. An example of negative punishment is having one’s check docked for being late. Money is taken away to reduce the reoccurrence of the employee being late for work.

In summary, the difference between positive reinforcement and positive punishment is that positive reinforcement seeks to increase desired behavior while positive punishment seeks to decrease behavior. Taking it a step further, positive reinforcement intends to increase the reoccurrence of desired behavior by adding something pleasant. Positive punishment intends to decrease the reoccurrence of undesired behavior by adding something unpleasant, and negative reinforcement removes something unpleasant to increase the chances of the reoccurrence of a desired behavior.

 ActionExpectationBehavior TypePositive reinforcementAddIncreaseDesiredNegative reinforcementRemoveIncreaseDesiredPositive punishmentAddDecreaseUndesiredNegative punishmentsRemoveDecreaseUndesired

So, why is it necessary to understand these four psychological concepts in this blog? This point will become obvious later.

So, that’s the history.

The issue began when Sam made a professional decision in the format of a report—a decision he is qualified to make. Although it is Sam’s credentials that ultimately count, Eva’s job title has her to sign after him, as if she has the authority to approve his work. Here’s the catch. The company policy allows Eva to do this. However, legally, she can’t. If there is ever a dispute over the document, the person who will be held responsible will be Sam and not Eva. Even if Eva admits she gave Sam an administrative directive to change his report, if the change is incorrect, Sam is liable, as this is seen as a competency issue.

If a patient tells his doctor that he is diabetic, and the doctor gives insulin without conducting the proper medical test, the doctor is guilty of malpractice. If the chief of staff has a degree in business and not medicine directs the doctor to administer insulin and the doctor does so without conducting the proper medical test to determine if the patient is indeed diabetic, the physician still is guilty of malpractice. The reason the physician is guilty is because he did not do the due diligence that he should have known to do. If ignorance of the law is no excuse, ignoring the law because someone says it’s okay is also no excuse.

The change Sam made in his report was made to increase the clarity of the report. Eva asked him to change it because (and this is where the irony begins) it makes it hard for the typist to include the information that Eva has instructed her to change after Sam has signed off. Thus, Sam pointed out that changing his reports after he has signed off without his knowledge and leaving his name there to make it appear that he has made the changes is an act of falsifying documentation. It’s no different than signing a contract to rent an apartment and then having the landlord add additional terms and fees to the lease without the renter being aware of the changes.

Now, in all fairness, it should be noted that Eva has been trained to perform the supervisory job but only to a limited capacity. For example, a person who has learned basic math can likely balance a checkbook or budget. However, is that person capable of applying exponential and logarithmic functions and statistical analysis to understand complex spreadsheets such as national budgets? Mimicking what to do is one thing. Having a deep understanding of why something is done allows for generalization into other areas. While Eva is capable of being an effective supervisor, she in no way should be supervising Sam. Her incompetency in what he does bleeds into her dictation to him that can potentially cause him to do a poor job which will hold him (and only him) accountable for any debacles. This is what makes Eva a horrible boss.

Sam’s job offers him very little (actually nothing) in the area of reinforcers but is overloaded with punishment. The reason that punishment often fails to have long-term effects in producing desired outcomes is that the person experiencing it often develops resentment towards the person administering it and shuts down to being open to changing behavior. In hindsight, Sam had still been harboring resentment for his shabby treatment and was triggered when approached by Eva to request that he basically dummy down his report for a secretary’s convenience. That was the true root of the issue.

So, what can be done?

The most obvious answer is to change jobs or positions. Simply do not work for a horrible boss. However, that is easier said than done, especially when decent-paying jobs are difficult to acquire in this economy. This leads to the second point.Develop an exit strategy. This may include going back to school for an advanced degree or taking training that will teach skills required for job advancement. It also could include, as in Sam’s case, developing a side hustle.Avoid the person as much as possible. If you don’t have to be around this person, don’t. Close your office door. Wear earbuds to cancel out the surroundings and get a Zen place. Complete works in a timely fashion with as few errors as possible to avoid having to meet or avoid discussions. Communicate via email or text when possible to avoid face-to-face. Become inaccessible during free time by avoiding common areas. For example, instead of hanging out in the employee lounge on break, sit outside and enjoy the fresh air.Have outlets to channel any negative energy. This entails forming a good support group. This group may include family, friends, a community organization, and/or a professional therapist. There is no limit as to how many supports one can have. What is important is that the supports are people who can be trusted, are levelheaded, will listen, remain objective, and give constructive criticism as opposed to tearing one down.Mental preparation before encounters. Some people do yoga. Others meditate, and others choose prayer. Whatever method is chosen, spend time to mentally prepare for interactions. Understand your triggers and use relaxation techniques when you feel yourself getting riled.Arm yourself with prevention to avoid contact. For example, I have a relative who during holiday gatherings always brings down the mood with many complaints and controlling behaviors. However, I noticed that there is a pattern to her complaints. I developed a strategy to address all her complaints prior to her making them. For instance, she has an annoying habit of interrupting Christmas gift unwrapping by stopping anxious gift receivers during the middle of opening gifts to pick up any gift-wrapping paper that falls to the floor. “Oh, pick that up.” “You missed a little piece over there.” “Throw that in the trash.” Excited children are prevented from enjoying the moment. Parents miss getting that look of surprise when the present they’ve been so excited to give is squashed by multiples, “Put that in the trash.” There was a discussion to exclude this relative from the celebration, but many thought that was too mean and extreme. Thus, my solution was to place several trash bags around the room the night before. When anyone opens a gift, I slide the bag under them to catch the wrapping. Now, she can’t complain—at least not about that. I addressed each of her complaints in a similar fashion to steal her thunder. Now, she sits quietly on these occasions, looking for something to complain about.Most things in life are temporary. Horrible bosses come and go. This boss may not always be there. He/she may be promoted to another position, retire, quit, be terminated, or need to vacate the position for other reasons.Your horrible boss may not have anything to do with you or your ability. Sam, on many levels, is a threat to Eva. She knows that she has the position but that Sam has the knowledge. She knows that she has the support and backing of the company but that Sam has legal on his side. She feels threatened and sometimes attempts to throw her weight around as a supervisor. Allow this. If it makes another person feel better about themselves, so be it. How they feel about themselves should be no reflection of how you feel about yourself. It’s nothing but MGS (Mean Girl Syndrome). Let the person have their moment in the sun because yours will come eventually. While the supervisor is doing that, occupy your time with something else.Don’t stress. Take breaks. Work smarter, not harder. Don’t exhaust yourself for employers who don’t value and will not reward your effort. As Sam says, if Eva is the supervisor, then she can do the supervisor’s work by having to put in extra hours. For example, Sam used to complete assignments as quickly as possible. Now, he completes them as close to the deadline as possible. Even if he completes them far in advance, he does not turn them in until close to the deadline. Why? Because Eva has the same deadlines, and it makes her have to hustle to do her part. Now, this may sound like being petty or passive-aggressive and perhaps it is. But when Sam completes assignments early, Eva gives him more work to do while she kicks her feet up. She also gets the credit from higher-ups for running an effective department. Since he began doing this, Eva’s time in her office watching YouTube videos and talking coo-coo to her grandbaby on Facetime during working hours has significantly decreased.Consider what is best for you and put yourself first. Sam used to set aside his personal life for work. He’d work over without being asked and volunteer to do tasks when no one else stepped up. That’s all in the past for him. If someone is needed to work late, he doesn’t volunteer. If wants a day off, he doesn’t factor in if it is inconvenient for anyone anymore. He just takes the day off. Eva can deal with the shortage. After all, that is the position of the supervisor.

Now, I understand that there are many people who will disagree with these suggestions, and I get why. Employees are paid to do a job. Employers owe nothing to employees—except that isn’t true. Employers owe their employees to be treated decently and like humans. Employers do not have the right to belittle and dehumanize employees. Sure, they can tell an employee what to do and critique their work (harshly even). Being a good boss does not mean not being firm or allowing employees to have a wide range to do whatever they want to do. It does not mean that a supervisor does not have the right to reprimand or terminate employees. It doesn’t even mean they have to be nice. But bosses should be fair, just, respectful, and knowledgeable.

If the pandemic taught anything about the workforce, it was that employees learned they had options. They got in touch with their self-worth and value. Many learned that they were stronger than they thought and could do without things that had thought were necessary. It wasn’t that employees didn’t want to work (well, some didn’t), but many realized that they didn’t have to work for bosses who treated them like garbage. People like Sam who have invested numerous years with the hopes of one day being rewarded, only to have more than fifteen years with no advancements due to nepotism and a system designed to keep him in place.

Sam will never be given a supervisory position because his position doesn’t require him to supervise anyone. All supervisor positions require supervisory experience. That’s how persons who have less education and less experience but are in positions that allow them to go to supervisory classes can have them slide into a supervisor slot. In fact, there have been times when Sam (a person with a postgraduate degree and over twenty years of experience) has been under the supervision of someone with a GED and three years’ experience. This is not a knock to anyone with a GED. It just demonstrates what little regard his company holds for people in his position. It’s like having a CNA supervise a neurosurgeon. There is no shade to the CNA. It does not imply that a neurosurgeon is better or more worthy. It’s a matter of expertise when it comes to getting the job done. Is a CNA trained to perform brain surgery? Would the medical board allow a CNA to do brain surgery?

I began this topic by indicating that Sam’s supervisor does not have the credentials to do his job. He began his employment with the belief he was beginning a career. After all, that is what the supervisor had told him. He didn’t realize then that he actually was stepping into a dead-end job. He patiently waited his turn and worked to the best of his ability. He has been noticed by the administration to be one of the company’s finest employees. They frequently go to him when there is a crisis and they need someone to dig them out. He’s been held back not because he’s incapable of doing the job but on technicalities to give family and friends better jobs. Now, Sam has stopped being the overachiever and become a minimal standard. He’s on his way out of the company on his terms. Until then, he just needs to cope.

That wraps up this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Did you miss the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or X (formerly tweet) me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and sign up today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the Bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

Prep-Prep for NaNoWriMo

Yes, it’s only September, but for pantsers like me who want to participate in NaNo in two months, now is not too early to begin prep work. In July, Camp NaNo was held, and yours truly once again failed at it. At this point, I think it’s a psychological block. However, I find that I’m more productive in detailing what needs to be done even if I’m unsuccessful in accomplishing them. This, at least, gives me somewhat of a chance to make a dent in my NaNo goals. And that’s a good place to start.

Make goals early. Instead of waiting until the start of NaNo or October to make goals, I find it beneficial to begin in September. This gives me plenty of time to revise or restructure before beginning. For example, one year, I made daily blogging a NaNo goal. I knew the writing itself would consume a lot of time, but researching would take longer. But I couldn’t conduct research if I didn’t know what my topics would be. So, knowing my goal in advance, allowed me to develop a loose plan of how to approach it. I began with making a list of potential topics, and in doing so, realized that was more difficult than anticipated.Finding a partner in crime. One of the fun things about NaNo is that there are various support groups to join. As with anything else, these groups aren’t always perfect or created equally. Some are more active than others. One of the more complex aspects of a writing group is that many times it’s a gamble on the level of help you will receive. Recently, in an online writing group, I posed a question, and I premised the question by specifically stating I wasn’t interested in certain aspects that could be considered controversial. I wasn’t looking to spark a debate. The responses that I received came nowhere close to giving me a viable answer. They were so off the mark, that I questioned if I had written the question in a foreign language. In fact, the responses were so bad that I deleted the thread. In another group, I posed a question, and out of the thousands of members, only received two responses, and those weren’t helpful. The point is, sometimes it takes time to find someone in these types of groups who can be a support to you as you go through this journey.Researching in rabbit holes. I fall into rabbit, mole, and gopher holes all the time when researching, and these holes are deep and travel for miles. I stay in them for days and weeks. However, what is worse than tumbling into a hole is walking into a locked door. The other day, I spent three hours searching for the answer to a question that I never found. I knew I couldn’t be the first and only person to have asked the question, but the internet thought so. After hours of coming up short, I decided on a different approach and abandoned it. Research can be a beast of its own. Actively writing while researching can be extremely difficult. It may be helpful to have the research completed before beginning writing. For pantsers, this can add a higher degree of difficulty because pantsers do not always know what they need to research before they begin writing. However, sometimes, they do. For example, if writing a fantasy about giant earthworms who are consuming the planet, the writer knows he/she will need to know something about earthworms. Since some topics require more time to research, it is necessary to allow adequate time for researching. Beginning a month in advance may not be enough time.Hardware and malfunctions. A few months ago, my laptop crashed. Fortunately, the repair was quick and relatively inexpensive. However, about a week after the repair, I began to notice charging issues. It took several days, but I finally was able to determine it was my battery cord that needed to be replaced. It needed to be ordered. This was an issue that slowed down my writing. Therefore, I knew I had to develop a backup plan in case it went out completely, and I had no way to recharge. Having a backup plan is a good idea year-round. It is extremely important during a thirty-day writing challenge. In the event of a crash, how will you proceed?Rules and rules breaking. I set my own rules for NaNo, and the first is that I don’t use word count as a goal. I’ve explained extensively why I don’t in many previous posts, but in a nutshell, it is because word count is too artificial for the way I write. If a person going on vacation drives from point A to point B, the number of miles between the two can be easily measured. But if the road taken is the wrong one and the driver ends up at point C instead of B, all that time driving has been wasted. Basically, it’s not the quantity of words that matters to me but the quality. Writing 1,000 words means nothing if I can’t use them. Instead, I use projects as goals. For example, with daily blogging, there were several steps (e.g., research, writing, editing, excerpt, uploading, thumbnail, etc.) to complete each blog post. I used the completion of these steps to measure my progress. So, if a post required research, writing, editing, and uploading as the only four steps needed and I only completed the writing and editing, I would determine that only 50% of that post had been completed. I set an overall 85% completion goal for all projects to be considered successful. Decide on rules that are durable to you.Time constraints. This is a biggie. NaNoWriMo is a thirty-day writing challenge. That means writers need to be productive each day. Now, for writers who do not have writing as their full-time job or who have other jobs, finding time to write can be difficult. Mapping out when one will write before the challenge begins is huge. For some writers, it may mean changing daily routines. For others, it could be setting reminders to start writing at a particular time. Still, for others, it may require looking at their day and finding available time slots to write. For me, this relates to the previous point. By knowing the steps each project will take, I can work to eliminate some of them early to free my time for writing. For example, once I decided on topics, I was able to download images for the thumbnails. With that out of the way, it freed up more writing time once NaNo began.Realistic expectations. As I stated when I began this post, I’ve never been successful at NaNo. I’ve come close a few times, but always the bridesmaid and never the bride. One reason for my nonsuccess is that I aim high. If I’m honest, many times my goals have been too out of reach for the amount of time allotted. And it’s okay to have huge goals if you’re not bothered by not reaching them. Last year, I created a very unforgiving goal for myself. I was on track, but then a setback outside of my control happened. It was so devastating that it drained me of motivation for several days. By the time I got my writing mojo back, I couldn’t meet the deadline. In hindsight, had I allowed for more flexibility, I likely would have met my goal. Yet, I’m okay with not quite getting there. Was it disappointing? Yes. However, I like to go big, and sometimes, that doesn’t work out. But writers can’t have goals that are so big that it paralyzes them from writing and being productive.

That wraps up this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets. Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or X (formerly tweet) me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and sign up today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm”, and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

How to Support Someone Experiencing Chronic Pain

Perhaps there’s no worst feeling in the world than watching a loved one suffer and not being able to help. But there may be small things that can be done, only those acts may not be apparent. Here are ten ways to be supportive of a loved one who is in pain. It’s also important that chronic pain isn’t exclusively viewed as having to be physical pain. There are numerous other ways that a person may be debilitated by pain.

Understanding. Chronic physical pain may cause the sufferer to experience increased anxiety and/or depression. The sufferer may feel helpless/hopeless that his/her condition will ever improve or that she will always live a diminished life. He/she may feel that she is missing out on life or has become a burden to others. These are psychological issues that others may not recognize are present yet are significant in preventing the person from healing or making progress. Therefore, it is important to understand that psychological/mental, emotional, and spiritual health are as important as physical health and that these areas of a person’s life are also addressed. Thus, it may be necessary to research out to or contact support groups, mental health professionals, spiritual leaders, or other trained professionals to help in these areas.Listening. Sometimes a person needs to vent, and all that is required to be supportive is to listen. Advice and commentary aren’t always necessary. Being present and attentive may be enough.Observing. Often people with chronic pain shut down emotionally and refuse to discuss how they are feeling—especially persons who suffer from mental illness. Frequently, this is due to having been harshly criticized and dismissed previously by others around them. These surrounding people demonstrate little to no empathy and convey to the person experiencing the pain that he/she needs to get over it, stop whining, push through the pain, other people have it worse, they aren’t trying to get better, and that they will never recover or get better if they continue to wallow in self-pity. While it is important to encourage a person to work through his/her pain (whether it be physical, mental, or emotional), it is equally as important not to invalidate his/her feelings. Such statements could be harmful and cause setbacks. It is key to observe overt signs (e.g., decreased interest in hobbies, decreased physical activity, facial expressions, forgetfulness, irritability, mood swings, poor concentration, restlessness, sleep disturbances, suicidal ideation, and sweating).Learning. There is no better way to understand something than having accurate information about what it is. Take time to learn about the person’s illness and/or diagnosis.Encouraging. When a person has chronic pain, they may become too fatigued to continue to fight, at which point, someone else may need to pick up his/her cross for him/her. Seeing someone advocate on his/her behalf and help (note: this does not mean enable) and knowing he/she isn’t alone may reinvigorate the person to continue. As the song goes: one is the loneliest number. Ensure that the person understands that he/she isn’t alone. Be a positive in the person’s life.Competency. This may be especially important with older people who may be intimidated by or fearful of healthcare professionals. As a result, they may not seek appropriate people to help. For example, I remember my father discussing how his eldest brother never questions his longtime family physician despite a continuous decline in health. When my uncle complained of severe stomach pain and nausea, his family physician diagnosed him as having a sinus issue and performed a surgical procedure on his nose. It was months later when my uncle had lost a tremendous amount of weight and could barely stand that another physician diagnosed him with advanced cancer. A person who is experiencing chronic pain may not be thinking clearly or feel too helpless to understand or mentally process what is being said about their condition. Thus, they may need assistance in locating competent providers and treatment options.Communicating. Ask the person questions about what they need and how you can help. Offer to go with them to appointments, pick up prescriptions or medical supplies from the pharmacy, or run errands. Sometimes, the sufferer may not be aware of what he/she needs until someone asks.Socializing. A person who is experiencing chronic pain or illness may be omitted from being invited to social events because “no one wants a Debbie Downer.” Or it could be that people neglect to extend an invitation because they assume the person will not feel well enough to attend. These assumptions may cause the person to become ostracized. As a result, the person may have few friends or social interactions. Find an activity that the two of you can enjoy together and invite them out for the day. It could be going to brunch, a visit to a spa, or watching fireworks. Any activity will do as long as it allows the person an opportunity to get out of the house and into society.Be realistic. Don’t become a zealot and make promises that cannot be kept. Making false, inaccurate, or misleading promises could lead to later resentment and hurt feelings. Sometimes, there are limitations to what can be done, and it’s okay to admit them.Respecting. Understand, acknowledge, and respect personal boundaries. A person’s health is intimate information. For multiple reasons, a person may wish to be selective about whom and when he/she shares this information. That is his/her right and privilege. If a person indicates that he/she is reluctant, unwilling, or uncomfortable discussing their health issues, allow them that space. Remember, it is his/her health and their choice. You may disagree with some or all of his/her healthcare decisions.

That’s a wrap. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

Picture It In 2023: Another Tone Deaf Rewind

In July, I wrote a post titled, Tone Deaf in 2023. Today’s post is in the same spirit. Names have been omitted to “protect” the innocent. Actually, names have been omitted because as a writer, blogger, and creator, it is difficult to write anything that may come across as harsh or negative—in addition to other reasons. So, let’s get into it.

Picture it. A normal afternoon. A wife returns home early to her swanky upscaled, poshed apartment with a doorman to discover her husband of four years in bed with one of her closest friends. Shocked and distraught, she runs out and leaves in her car. But before she makes it to the car, he rushes out of the bedroom, hastily throwing his clothes on. The woman he’s cheating with asks in a panic voice what he wants her to do. He snaps at her to get dressed and get out, as he makes his way to chase after his wife with the classic line, “Wait, we need to talk about this. If you leave it won’t solve anything.”

I can’t explain why the lyrics to Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me immediately popped into my head. Since this is the opening scene of a drama series, I rear back with my iced lemonade to watch how this scenario will unfold. I’m expecting more tears and screaming and a lot of groveling or even a car wreck from distracted driving. What I got… well, not what I expected.

The young wife (in her twenties) drives to her parents’ suburban home. This makes sense and is something many people in this situation would do. In times of crisis, it’s not uncommon to seek support from loved ones. This woman is looking for her father who the audience learns is an attorney. Again, this makes sense—not only support but also legal advice. So far, so good. But instead of finding her father, she finds her mother who comes across as a bit brassy and cold. When the mother inquires about the reason for the visit, the daughter sidesteps and suggests that they go shopping. Okay, this is a plausible reaction if she doesn’t have a good relationship with her mother and she’s wanting to distract herself until she can speak with her father. And then a time warp occurs of sorts.

Hop forward a few scenes to dinnertime. The wife is now seated at the table with her parents and her siblings, and there is tension at the table. Both parents have become aware of their daughter’s current situation. The audience also has learned more details about this young wife which adds to the stakes. The wife has recently returned to college after dropping out, has one child, and is expecting her second. The other children are experiencing their own issues, but that’s not being discussed here. Dinner ends with the mother pretty much insistent on serving everyone pie and most of the family declining. This upset the mother. At this point, I’m getting Mary Tyler Moore’s Beth Jarrett character in Ordinary People vibes. (If you’ve never watched that classic, you’re missing out.)

Dinner is over, and the mother is steaming, but the audience isn’t quite sure why. The mother then lights into her husband (and I mean she goes in on him with guns blasting), accusing him of being too soft on their daughter. He retaliates by accusing her of being jealous of her daughter. Well, the conversation deteriorates from that point. The man earnestly asks his wife how she condones her son-in-law’s philandering. He further questions, “what kind of humiliation” should they expect their daughter to accept and continue with the marriage? The mother poignantly states, “Exactly, the kind I did with you.” **mike drop**

The husband argues that his affair happened a long time ago and questions, “Are you ever going to let it go?” It comes across as if he’s invalidating her feeling just because of the passage of time, that it should be completely erased from her memory. And while forgiveness is an integral part of moving beyond something like that in a marriage, it isn’t as if a finger snap occurs and all memories are erased. It seems perfectly logical to me that any woman (or man) who has been cheated on would remember it with hurt and a bit of anger even if they have forgiven the person. Forgiveness does not mean that the hurt never happened. But when she explains that the memory is still painful, her husband informs her that that is… wait for it… “stupid.”

But then, the wife agrees with her husband that her feeling hurt is stupid. She doubles down by stating that her son-in-law’s cheating is no different than his past infidelity and that their daughter has given her husband more reasons to cheat on her than the father had to cheat on his wife. She continues that her daughter has not made an effort to grow her son-in-law from a “boy” into a “man.” So, basically, it’s the woman’s fault that her husband cheats? Is that really the message that is being sent? **gag**

The argument then turns from being about their daughter to being more about them. The husband asks, “What about the baby?” (referring to the unborn child the daughter is expecting.) The wife confesses that she considered having an abortion during each of her pregnancies, expressing both the mental and physical a woman may experience while carrying, and the husband is shocked. She adds that these were fleeing moments of weakness for her, breaks downs into tears, and rushes into her husband’s arms. By now, I’m wondering what did I just watch.

Skip ahead and the philandering husband arrives at the home of his in-laws. He receives a cold welcome from his father-in-law, a warm welcome from his mother-in-law, and an impartial nod of acknowledgment from his brother-in-law who is watching from the top of a staircase. The mother-in-law suggests…no, commands…that her husband prepare them all a drink. After a brief conversation of a slight back-and-forth between the father-in-law and son-in-law, the son-in-law heads upstairs to his wife’s childhood bedroom where she’s all gussied up and in bed. She knows her husband had arrived because she heard his vehicle pull up as well as her brother informing her. So, it’s reasonable to assume that she is expecting him when he knocks on the door. She invites him in without ceremony, in a wispy voice. Once he enters, she asks him what he wants, and he responds, “Anything you want.” Now, one would think a cheating spouse who’s been caught would act a little humbled. But no. This guy follows up in the next breath, “You’re so mean.” Say what?

In his monologue, he tells her that she acting like “Camille” and to “cut out the nonsense and come home.” I’m assuming (and I may be wrong) by Camille he is referring to the titular character in the 1936 movie Camille which was about a courtesan (a.k.a., a wealthy, upper-class prostitute) who needs to choose between two men (one who loves her and one who is wealthy but callous). I’m further assuming that the cheating husband here is referring to himself as the man who loves her and her father as the coldhearted baron because he complains that her father has put “the thumb screws” to him. He concludes by telling her that she knows that she wants to be home in her own bed and that he will be waiting for her when she’s finished playing this game. She responds with what I suppose the writers thought was cheeky by asking if she should call first—alluding to when earlier in the day when she’d arrived unexpectedly, he’d been bedding her friend. He assures her that he will be alone. Then, he gives her what could be considered an ultimatum. He informs her that he would prefer she “punish” him by staying at her parents’ home than in his bedroom. I don’t think he’s talking about S&M or any kind of bondage because it’s not that kind of show. I think he’s referring to her withholding marital relations. And scene. What version of WTF is this?

This man never once apologizes for his behavior and then proceeds to engage in what is nothing shy of gaslighting. He speaks for her— “I know you want to be home.” He belittles her as his wife by comparing her to a prostitute. He invalidates her feelings and insinuates that her father has no reason to be perturbed with him.

What I found interesting is when this series was made, the women’s movement was at a high point. Is this what was considered empowered women? But this has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with decency. Even more puzzling was when I read the comments about this episode, and people were gushing over it. When one person mentioned how the cheating husband never apologized, a poster responded that she was “missing the point.” What point? That when you do something wrong, it’s okay to not apologize or own it? Some commenters wrote that the wife wasn’t a “victim” because in later episodes she was portrayed to be manipulative. So, this means two wrongs make a right? Because she has flaws and engages in poor decisions in her marriage this gives her husband the license to sleep with her friends?

Any marriage has problems, and likely every marriage has gone through a rough patch (of varying degrees) or two. And there have been many marriages that have survived infidelity. Should this woman have rushed to file for divorce? Well, not if she wanted to work things out. I won’t even argue that he shouldn’t be forgiven. But to have her feelings so casually dismissed, especially after a fresh wound, is inexcusable. I honestly expected more outrage in the comment section regarding his behavior toward her. I found it disgusting, and that is what caused me to wonder if this is still acceptable behavior in 2023. Understand, this post is not a criticism of or throwing any shade at the writing or acting. It is merely a consideration or questioning of how attitudes and social roles have evolved and changed.

Now, I’m sure some readers have deducted what classic series I am talking about despite my not having included the name. Let me clarify that there are many reasons why I do not always include names. But if interested, this series first aired in the 1970s and was so popular that it ran for several seasons and had nine Emmy wins.

And that will conclude this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm”, and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

Women’s Equality Day

On August 26, 1920, the Nineteenth Amendment to the U.S., Constitution was certified by the states. This amendment reads as follows: “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.” It is in honor of this amendment that August 26 is celebrated as Women’s Equality Day. Sometimes, it is easy to forget that what is taken for granted today isn’t what it always once was. When I hear people express a dislike for feminists or that feminism is a corrupt, fascist movement, I’m always baffled, as it was the feminist movement (a.k.a., suffrage activists) that made the Nineteenth Amendment a reality. The suffrages were viewed as troublemakers and lawbreakers for voicing an unpopular political opinion against an oppressive law and discriminatory practices against women. They faced many hardships and much criticism for their views.

Women’s Rights Day was first celebrated in 1972 after U.S. President Richard Nixon issued Proclamation 4147. In 1973, a joint house resolution was passed by Congress to designate August 26 as Women’s Equality Day.

While it is important to note this day in history, it is equally as important to note the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment did not include all women. In fact, it largely excluded women of color. It also is fair to say that a degree of hypocrisy existed within suffrage activities of the 1920s and prior, as women of color were often excluded from participating. However, two opposing ideas can both be true. While the movement of the time may not have been inclusive, there were benefits to be had by all. Therefore, it is important not to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

I think most would agree that when it comes to equal rights for women in the U.S., there still is a way to go. However, just because there is progress to be had does no progress had been made. It also does not mean that the progress currently made shouldn’t be acknowledged or celebrated. Small milestones are what lead to the stepping stones that lay the foundation. Without a foundation, nothing can be solid. Thus, before dismissing it as not enough, view it as a work in progress.

There often seems to be confusion that equality and kindness can’t coexist. There’s a misconception that if a woman responds positively to certain acts of kindness that she is being hypocritical about wanting to be treated equally. For example, I appreciate it when a man opens a door for me. Historically, men opening doors for women has been viewed as a chivalrous men’s gender role. However, I open doors for men. And other women. And children. People. I open the door for people because it’s kind, and that is how I was raised and not because of their age, gender, race, or anything else. I don’t think, “Oh, I’m a woman, therefore, my gender dictates that I not open a door.” And when a man opens a door for me, I’m appreciative because it was a kind act and not because I believe it is something men are “required” to do.

Should a woman pay for a date? Historically, men have picked up the tabs on dates. Many people use this as an argument that women don’t truly want to be treated equally. But look at it this way. If you ask someone over to your home for dinner, would you expect them to buy the groceries and cook when they arrive? Or would you have dinner prepared for them? Dating can be seen as similar. Whoever the asker is that is the person who (unless otherwise discussed) should be the person who pays. But some men are opposed to women paying for dates even if the woman was the asker. All women’s equality does is ask that women be treated fairly and be given the same opportunities as men.

There was an experiment conducted with dry cleaners that demonstrated how women are unfairly treated when it comes to me. DISCLAIMER: What I’m about to report was a news report that I viewed some time ago. I can’t remember the name of the news program to give appropriate credit. If anyone remembers the originators of this experiment, please leave a comment in order for credit to be given.

The news journalists purchased identical long sleeve white button-down shirts and took it to several dry cleaners for cleaning. There were a couple of conditions as to how this shirt was presented: presenter and type. First, were the presenters. There were four presenters: a Caucasian man, a Caucasian woman, an African American man, and an African American woman. The second condition was the type of shirt. Sometimes, the shirt was said to be a man’s shirt, and other times, it was said to be a woman’s blouse. In each case, the cleaner was asked how much it would cost to clean. Remember, in all instances, the shirts are identical. The following is a chart of all the possible scenarios.

Caucasian manCaucasian womanAfrican American manAfrican American womanMan’s shirtMan’s shirtMan’s shirtMan’s shirtWoman’s blouseWoman’s blouseWoman’s blouseWoman’s blouse

The shirt was taken to each of the dry cleaners under all of these conditions. For example, let’s say one of the dry cleaners was named Clean Press. Over a period of several days, Clean Press would have been asked for an estimate for the cost of cleaning for:

a man’s shirt by a Caucasian male customera woman’s blouse by a Caucasian male customera man’s shirt by a Caucasian female customera woman’s blouse by a Caucasian female customera man’s shirt by an African American male customera woman’s blouse by an African American male customera man’s shirt by an African American female customera woman’s blouse by an African American female customer

In a fair world, Clean Press would have quoted the same price to all the customers in each condition because it was the same shirt. However, that isn’t what happened. Now, I’m not going to get into specifics for each scenario, but in this experiment, at the majority of the dry cleaners, the quote for cleaning this shirt when presented as a “woman’ blouse” was higher than when it was presented as a “man’s shirt.” This indicates that inequality of women does exist and isn’t made up propaganda for some political agenda. Feel free to disagree. All that is asked is to be respectful in commenting.

In summary, while Women’s Equality Day isn’t met with much fanfare, it can be celebrated by appreciating women and their struggles.

And that will bring this post to a close. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

How to Overcome Setbacks

Wow! What a month. I hadn’t planned to take a month off from blogging, but here I am. I’m going to explain a situation that I think many people can relate to and where research has led me.

A couple of ago, I awoke feeling energetic and motivated. I was thrilled about this because the week prior I hadn’t been feeling my best. Strangely, I’d done something to pop my knee and was hobbling about rather pathetically. Plus, my allergies decided it was an opportune time to flare. The nine-to-five had been needlessly hectic and overly complicated. Mountains were being created out of ant hills. In all, everything had brewed itself into a mess of a week. The combination of these events dampened my spirits and caused me to want to lay up in bed to heal—especially my allergies. The headache was massive.

Well, all of that had begun to clear itself. I could again bear weight on my knee without shooting pain, and my allergies cleared to be non-debilitating. The situation at work resolved itself (not optimally but with a conclusion all the same). I wasn’t at 100%, but I was thankful to have 85% as opposed to the 3% that I had been. It was an improvement that allowed me to be functional and rejoin the world. Plus, I was ready to jump back into life. And so I did… for about four hours.

It is true what is said about taking things for granted. You don’t miss them or realize their importance until they are gone. This is a lesson that I never seem to quite learn. I say this because I’ve been in this position before and have uttered the same words. In all fairness, I do actively attempt to be grateful every day. Yet, it never fails to throw me for a loopy loop when I realize I just “expect” something to be there and am devastated when it isn’t.

At the end of the nine-to-five workday, I placed my laptop on sleep mode before making the commute home. I use my laptop for both business and pleasure. So, one of the first things I do, when I arrive at a destination, is to fire up the laptop to either check email, stream, work, or go on social media. I honestly do not think I’ve turned on a television or radio in over a year. This day was no different except my laptop would not wake up. Nothing. Just a blank screen. I couldn’t even hear the soft hum of the fan. I panicked. However, not all was lost. I still had my smartphone. Therefore, I did the only natural thing anyone in my situation would do. I performed an internet search to troubleshoot the problem.

I don’t remember how long I spent troubleshooting, but nothing worked. The laptop did eventually power on after I drained the battery and recharged it. I thought, “By golly, I’ve fixed it.” But this was a false positive. After approximately ten minutes, the screen turned blue and gave me an error message. The error message said that information was being gathered to correct the problem and would restart. Displayed on the screen was a percentage bar indicator for the scan. Finally, the percentage made it to 100%, and I waited and waited for the computer to restart. More than ten minutes of being idle passed and nothing. Perhaps, I was a bit impatient and should have given it another ten minutes, but I manually clicked restart. Big mistake. It did restart, but the screen remained blank and would do nothing. Taking a line from The Princess Bride, instead of being all dead it was mostly dead.

Being mostly dead wasn’t much of an improvement. I could do nothing, but I did have hope. At some point, I noticed that my Caps Lock button was blinking. After more Googling, I realized the blinking could be code for what was the issue. Thus, I threw on my Sherlock Holmes cap and got to detecting. I concluded that the issue stemmed from a RAM problem and that the laptop would need to be opened. That was a little too advanced for my blood. At that point, my heart sank and I gave up. I began searching for a repair shop, but my hope to find one wasn’t high.

My nine-to-five has an IT department, and some of the workers will take on side projects. I’ve had one of them work on my personal computers previously and for a really good rate. The problem was: it was a side gig for him. When it comes to side projects, he works at his leisure in his spare time. Also, he doesn’t have parts. Anything he needs, he must order from Amazon. He doesn’t have any distributors from whom he can acquire parts in an hour or two. The best he can do is request overnight shipping which most times cost an arm, leg, and a couple of vertebrae. I recognize that my impatience isn’t his fault, but basically, a good majority of my life is on my laptop. I was lost without it. I knew asking him to work on it would likely take weeks. Therefore, I opted to look for a repair shop.

Interestingly, what I discovered was most people would rather replace a computer than repair it. Cheaper. However, the thought of buying a new computer freaked me out—not just because they are expensive, but because I don’t remember any of my passwords. I open my laptop with a password, and everything else is remembered/stored. Fortunately, I located a repair shop and one that wouldn’t break the bank. Hands down, the repairer did an excellent and expedient job. I would recommend him to anyone. However, I had a gnawing in my stomach.

My laptop crashed on a Tuesday afternoon. I hadn’t completed or uploaded my blog when it occurred. And although I was able to back up my work on a flash, I didn’t have a way to work on it. There were a few tasks that I could do on my phone, but not without a struggle using such a small screen. So, even when I realized that I could have my laptop repaired, I knew I needed to have a backup way to work.

The local library does have computers available for the public to use, but certain sites and web pages are prohibited from viewing. USB flash drives and CD Roms (for people still using them) are not allowed to be used. Nothing, of course, can be saved to the library computer hard drives. And there’s a two-hour time limit. (An additional hour can be granted with special permission but basically, you have to explain your life away as to why this extra time is needed and be judged for it.) The computers are only a few feet apart, providing very little privacy for users. Plus, the library is only open five days a week with bank hours. Thus, anyone holding a nine-to-five and needing to work after 5:00 PM is S.O.L. The computers also are shut down thirty minutes before the library closes. If that wasn’t enough, there’s a limited number of computers (approximately 10 to 15), and usually, not all of them are working. It’s not uncommon to arrive and find that all of the computers are shut down. In short, using library computers is an entire ordeal, and unfortunately, there are no local computer cafes.

When my laptop crashed several years ago and my IT coworker took it for repairs, I was unable to work efficiently for weeks. I had to write/record everything by hand and then when my computer was returned, I had to transfer it all into electronic files. It was double the work, yet, it had to be done. The difference was back then, I was less dependent on my laptop and I had fewer projects. This time around, I bit the bullet even though I didn’t want to, and purchased a backup for emergencies and travel. It didn’t come without problems. When I began setting it up, I had to download software and figure out saved passwords. Even passwords that I was 100% certain about were being rejected, and some of the recovery information was so old I couldn’t recall. For some of it, I just gave up and don’t have it installed. All of this knocked all of the wind out of my sails.

Fast forward two weeks. I was just recovering and attempting to get caught up when I received a little surprise from my cell phone service provider. They thought it would be fun to force me to update my phone software. I’m not going to get into the ins and outs of this fiasco, but it ended with me having to get a new phone. And while the representative assured me everything from my old phone would transfer to the new phone and everything saved to the cloud was secure, this was not the case. I spent three hours on a Saturday morning having my phone info transferred, and still, I was missing a lot. Plus, the passwords went all stupid again. Mind you, I’d just changed everything for the new computer, so the new passwords were fresh in my mind. Now, I would chalk all of this up to maybe typos or my bad memory, but some passwords I share with family. And when I shared with them the “new” passwords, they responded with, “This is already the password.” So, it wasn’t me. And when passwords are reset, that meant I (and my family share passwords) were logged out of every device we used and needed to log back in. And wouldn’t you guess that this didn’t go smoothly?

That same day, I had a person (a very rude individual) step into my personal space without invitation and obligate me for something without giving me any advance notice or asking permission to do so. When I informed her that I was unavailable, she demanded to know what I had to do…like I needed to explain everything in my life to her. She saw absolutely nothing wrong with making plans on my behalf without consulting me. And when I called her on it for being rude and disrespectful, she attempted to gaslight me by insinuating that it was beneficial to me. Granted, that was true. However, she would have never done it if she wasn’t getting something out of it. It is like the person who helps you change a flat tire because they need a ride. Yes, your flat is repaired, but if they hadn’t wanted a lift somewhere, you could have been rolling around flat on all fours for all that they cared. But to the rest of the world, the person presents himself/herself as having done a good and selfless deed. Therefore, when I called this person out, she went into “victim” mode. She refused to take any responsibility or apologize. And of course, I was viewed by everyone she ran her mouth to as the ungrateful, bad-tempered, unreasonable bully for believing I have a right to determine my own schedule.

This unexpected drama drained the last remaining energy that I had. I allowed all of this too much rental space in my head, and it knocked me out for the count. For the next weeks, I accomplished nothing. I couldn’t become motivated, and when I did muster up some energy, I could not concentrate. I was a blob of unproductiveness.

Sometimes, we hit walls. We have days, weeks, and even months like this. However, I realized that I couldn’t remain in such a negative space, and the only person who could do something about it was me. I came to this realization after witnessing the person who had gotten into my space trucking along as if she’d done nothing. Explaining my side of anything was wasted. That was when a few things came to light about setbacks.

Most setbacks are only temporary. All you need to do is wait them out.Being right (or perceived as being right by others) is not important. Some people will never admit fault or see the truth no matter how obvious. It is wasted energy to attempt to prove yourself to people whose opinions likely do not matter in the first place.Relationships change and can be outgrown. Someone who is close to you can let you down majorly. It’s a good reminder that no one is perfect. Some people will fall short, but it does not mean that they must hold you back.Your goals are your goals. At the end of the day, if you’re not working toward your goals, the person who will suffer is you. Old girl who was in my space didn’t lose a doggone thing. In fact, I doubt her feelings were hurt when I told her about herself because she was too busy standing on her pedestal feeling righteous. But she was achieving her goals. I was the person missing out.Everyone has setbacks. They are nothing new,Every setback comes with a lesson and a ton of options. One only needs to feel his/her way though. Take notes and learn from the experience.Your feelings are valid. Don’t allow anyone to invalidate you. You cannot achieve if filled with doubt.Develop a plan for future problems. For example, with the computer, I came purchased a backup laptop.Ask people that you trust for advice and guidance. They may have suggestions that never crossed your mind.Along the same line of thought, avoid people who do not have your best interest at heart. You may need to vent, but venting to a frenemy may make matters worse.Take time out to regroup. Don’t rush decisions when your mind is not in the correct, logical space. Count to 10, 20, 100, 1000. Go for a run. Go on a staycation. Just take the time you need to sort through your options.And speaking of options, make a list of every possible solution—even the ones that seem unlikely to work. Give yourself every alternative to tackle a situation. Know the pros and cons. Measure what you have to gain and what you stand to lose.Give yourself a break. Don’t continuously blame yourself for any mistakes you made or thought you made. Mistakes happen. Many can’t be undone, but you can move forward. Remember, shame, guilt, and blame are all paralyzing. None of them allow for any forward progress.Understand that you will begin feeling better once you start to reclaim your power. Self-pity is usually not satisfying for very long.Maintain perspective. Know what you are reasonably capable of. For example, if someone wanted to lose weight, it’s probably unreasonable to expect to lose 50 pounds in a month. However, losing five pounds a month may be durable. Understand what resources you have available and can use.There’s no rule that says you can’t change your goals or your plan to obtain your goals at any time. You do what works best for you.

So, that wraps up this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm”, and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

To Trigger Warning or Not to Trigger Warning

Oh, when I say today’s topic is a touchy one, I mean almost taboo level. People are very polarized on the topic, and are easily (I hate to use the word but…) triggered. Yes, today, I’m discussing trigger warnings.

When I think of trigger warnings, I think of a general heads-up rating. I don’t expect detailed spoilers or cautioning about something that should be expected. For example, the title The Texas Chainsaw Massacre should alert viewers that there will be graphic violence. I hear the word massacre, and I’m not thinking tea parties and balloon animals. The word chainsaw just adds more to it. The movie is advertised as a horror/thriller and has an R-rating. Without knowing anything else, a R-rating indicated that this is not a film with content suitable for children due to offensive language, violence, or sexual activity. Thus, if I see a movie with this rating, I assume that it contains one or more of these elements. But that no longer seems to be enough.

And all right already. I can hear the rebuttals that no one uses the antiquated R-rating anymore. The scales TV-MA and NC-17 are what are used now. They’re the same thing in my opinion. Both of these ratings indicate that there is adult content that is not deemed appropriate for children. Specifically, TV-MA movies have an adult target audience and may include indecent language, graphic violence, and/or explicit sexual content. NC-17 movies have a target audience over the age of 17. Tossing age to the side, R, TV-MA, and NC-17 all are rating that wave mammoth red flags that indicate, “Hey, the stuff happening in this film is not for the kiddies.”

Before continuing, I need to rewind and relay some background information about the origin of the idea to discuss this topic. One weekend, a group of friends and I settled in to watch a movie together. Before the opening credits began scrolling, a disclaimer popped on the screen noting that the events in the movie were not real and had been created by the writer. The disclaimer further noted that although the movie used the names of historical figures, the movie content was not intended to be historically accurate. I found it odd that this disclaimer needed to be made because the movie was adapted from a bestselling fictional novel and had been heavily advertised as such. If the book was fiction, it would follow that the movie be fiction as well. By definition, fiction means something that is invented, imagined, or untrue. But okay, maybe there were viewers who didn’t know the movie was based on a novel. When did it become a thing to note when a movie is fictional? Usually, it is the other way around—that a movie indicates that it is inspired by a true story or factual events.

Now, “inspired by” and “based on” in movie language do not translate to mean historically accurate. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, for example, was loosely based on the crimes committed by a mesh of horrible serial killers including Ed Gein and Elmer Wayne Henley. The screenwriters took great liberties with facts to create cinema. It is reported that most “inspired by,” “true,” and “based on” movies contain a significant amount of fictionalization. So, if this the case (that even true story movies and books are largely not true), why is necessary to explicitly declare a movie/book to not be true? Wouldn’t that already be the assumption? But again, I’ll play devil’s advocate. Let’s assume, there is a need to declare a work fictional. Is it then necessary to point out the parts of the story or book that is fictional?

The disclaimer prefacing the movie that my friends and I had gathered to watch continued with a statement that the author had intentionally deviated from historical facts. As opposed to what? Accidentally deviating from facts? It was as if this disclaimer was needed to explain to viewers that the writer hadn’t made a mistake in reporting the fact. Again, isn’t this what fiction is—something that isn’t true? The movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood comes to mind. This movie contains depictions of real people but deviates in major ways from history. The “once upon a time” is an indication to viewers that the movie is a fairytale…of sorts. I mean, this is a Quentin Tarantino film. Call me an oddball but in my mind, a Tarantino film isn’t synonymous with fairytales and happily-ever-after. Just saying.

The point is that certain titles, genres, directors, authors, or brands should automatically conjure some expectations. For example, if I said Jim Carrey, most people would immediately associate him with being a comedian or a comedic actor. However, Carrey has had dramatic roles. When a book is marketed as science fiction, readers reasonably will expect plots to revolve around futuristic concepts (e.g., aliens/extraterrestrial life, space, time travel, parallel/alternative universes, advanced technology, etc.) What viewers were shocked to find that the movie E.T. was about an alien? And hard would it be for someone who had never watched an episode of The Walking Dead to figure out it was likely about zombies? At what point are trigger warnings unnecessary? If a person walks into an adult movie store, does an item in the store need to be rated X? Or can it be assumed that is what they all are and move on?

I feel (and the following statement is based on opinion and not any researched facts) that we are living in an era where many authors/writers are uncertain when and/or if to write a trigger warning. I, myself, have fallen victim to this limbo. Many years ago, I wrote a trigger warning thinking that I was being responsible only later to receive feedback that it was unnecessary. Under similar circumstances, I didn’t write a trigger warning under the same circumstances, and I received feedback from readers that they wanted a trigger warning. Another time briefly mentioned a taboo subject with no great detail. I decided to err on the side of caution and included a trigger warning. I received lots of feedback that the trigger warning wasn’t warranted. Yet still, another time I included a trigger warning; I received feedback that the warning “wasn’t strong enough.” If a person was informed that a bear was roaming his/her backyard, does it make a difference if I specify if it’s a grizzly bear or a black bear? My takeaway would be not to enter the backyard until animal control is on the scene and has handled the situation. The details of the type of bear can be sorted later. Priorities, folks.

Some will say to ask beta readers, and that isn’t a surefire solution, either. Recall the incident where I included a trigger warning and was told it was too mild. Well, that WIP had more than twelve reviewers and betas pre-release. Two days before going live is the first time that I or my editors received feedback from anyone being unsatisfied with the trigger warning. Honestly, I panicked. I felt as if I’d been punched in the throat. It was too late to halt the publication to make changes. I wasn’t upset about being told to rewrite the warning. I was upset because more than a dozen very studious betas hadn’t found it to be an issue, but two ARC reviewers did. Talk about a soul-crushing moment.

Many writers are leery of writing trigger warnings because it could possibly shy potential readers from reading. This doesn’t mean that writers are seeking to trick readers into reading their books under false pretenses. I wrote a trigger warning, and reviewers all said it was unnecessary. So, readers who may have considered reading may have been turned off because they thought the content would be super graphic. One weekend, a friend from out of state came to visit, and we decided to go to the movies. When we arrived, we didn’t have a choice of movies and decided to let the kids pick. They selected Insidious 2. I didn’t know anything about the movie, but from the ticket seller, I started to pick up scary vibes. Well, I don’t care for horror movies. I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. It wasn’t scary in the least. Now, had I known that it was supposed to be some super frightening movie, I would have refused to go and not have given it a chance.

Another reason authors are iffy about trigger warnings is that sometimes adding a warning gives away an element of surprise or a plot twist. I recall watching a movie (I won’t give the name so as to not give any spoilers) where a main character unexpectedly unalived himself in a very graphic manner. It was a shocking and disturbing scene, but not knowing it was coming added to the powerfulness of the scene and made the death all that more impactful. Although this movie had an R-rating, it was an older movie before trigger warnings became trendy and did not specify suicide as a plot. In today’s market, it almost certainly would come with a warning. Many viewers and readers have complained that movies and books have become dull with no new elements. Perhaps part of this can be attributed to viewers and readers having too much information about the plot. For example, some movie trailers show the best scenes. One of the reasons credited for the success of Avengers: Endgame is that the studio and producers kept the details of the movies close to their chests, going as far as including clips in the trailer that were not in the movie.

Triggers are very personal. What triggers one person may have little or no effect on another. Watching someone eat a rare steak grosses me out far more than a bunch of actors running around a screen with buckets of fake blood on them. At the dinner table, I was gagging while my bestie enjoyed his meal. In the movie theatre, I was unbothered while he could barely look up. Anything can be a trigger. I know a person who has a phobia of flying birds and another friend who has nightmares if she watches movies with buildings on fire or burn victims. Still, a coworker is triggered by clowns. So, what subjects require trigger warnings? Recently, I’ve seen trigger warnings that list smoking, drug usage, animal cruelty, microaggression, colorism, child abandonment, scars, eating disorders, panic attacks, body shaming, bullying, extreme poverty, and more. The list of what could be triggering is endless. So, where do writers begin? How do they know when to write a warning?

The last point I want to make is that some research has shown that trigger warnings can have the opposite effect of preparing readers. These studies indicated that not only did the warning not prepare readers/viewers, but in some instances, made their experience worse by increasing their anxiety even higher with the expectation of the triggering event. Several years ago, a category 4 hurricane ripped through the area. Approximately three months later, weather forecasters began discussing an approaching cold front. They indicated that the front wouldn’t bring much rain but could have gusty winds. In fact, they amped up the possibility so much that schools and businesses decided to close. Daycares and after-school providers closed which meant some parents had to take off work. Of course, there were businesses that threatened to terminate employees who didn’t report to work due to weather and required a doctor’s excuse. But many doctors’ offices and clinics also chose to close. The weather reports caused a great many problems. And to top it off, when the front came through, there were a few gusts of wind around 30 mph (not anywhere close to 80 mph as predicted). However, residents were so traumatized by the hurricane that they panicked at overcast skies. This happened on more than one occasion, so much so, that government officials had to ask news reporters to dial back the sensationalism, to report the facts without the theatrics.

And that will bring this post to a close. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.

How to Outline Life

When I began today’s topic, it was actually for a different post. However, that post took on a life of its own and spun out of control quickly. However, as a pantser, a writer understands that he/she must follow wherever the writing process leads. If done properly, it generally leads to a good place. Despite what some may believe, being a pantser does not mean that all writing is random or unstructured.

As I read over my notes, it occurred to me that much of it could be generalized to more than writing and the writing process.

When approaching writing (or anything in life), one should have a goal (or, at the very least, some general idea) of what he/she would like to accomplish. That’s a jumping-off point. Many people have more than one. Therefore, the first thing would be to order or rank them in order of importance. Basically, this is prioritizing goals. In the writing world, this may include deciding if one if wants to write professionally or as a hobby or deciding the type of books one wishes to write. In a story, it could be deciding on story ideas/plots and which one to write first.

Once a person has established his/her priorities, the next step is to create a list or catalog of everything within those priorities. For example, if a priority is to write romance, this list might include elements or specific character types that you know you want to include in the story. You may have no idea where any of it will lead, but you know to leave space to work it in. In life, if a priority is to increase socializing, this list may include activities to do, places to visit or travel to, or people you want to spend time with. Generally, this list will be long and abstract or vague. Basically, it is a huge brain dump.

Once the list is created, it’s time to schedule. For example, July 1 began Camp NaNoWriMo. The person wanting to write a romance may make a schedule of specific times he/she intends to write the manuscript or times to do research. A person who wants to improve his/her physical health may hash out times to meal prep, grocery shop, and/or weekly menu.

The final part of this would be to make notes regarding how your schedule is working. Going back to writing a romance novel as an example, the person may examine what times they were more productive in writing or if some locations were better to write than others. This would be a place to hash out what work and what doesn’t. Not only will it help make progress in the current goal, but these notes may also be helpful/useful in future goals.

That’s all that I’ve got for this. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

Order your copy at:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RjPYb9

Other booksellers: https://bit.ly/3CI8d5W

Missed the first four books in my hockey romance series? No frets.

Out of the Penalty Box (book #1), where it is one minute in the box or a lifetime out, is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links on where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Defending the Net (book #2) can be ordered at https://amzn.to/2N7fj8q or www.books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Ice Gladiators (book #3) is the third book in my Locker Room Love series. When the gloves come off, the games begin. Available at https://amzn.to/2TGFsyD or www.books2read.com/icegladiators.

Penalty Kill (book #4) retakes the ice. Get a copy at https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p or https://amzn.to/3ex0N9p and let the pucker begin.

For more of my stories, shenanigans, giveaways, and more, check out my blog, Creole Bayou, www.genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com. New posts are made on Wednesdays, and everything is raw and unscathed. Climb on in a pirogue and join me on the bayou.

If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or for search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors or BookBub or TikTok.

NEWSLETTER! Want to get the latest information and updates about my writing projects, giveaways, contests, and reveals first? Click https://genevivechambleeconnect.wordpress.com/newsletter/ and signup today.

Until next time, happy reading and much romance. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.