How to Cope with Horrible Bosses

Believe it or not, this post wasn’t inspired by the movie, but no joke, it could be a sequel or next installment. Today’s tale was told by an associate who joined our little after-work group because he needed a drink, ears to bend, and suggestions of what to do. I’m no stranger to stories that make you second guess the order in life, but this was one for the classics.

The employee in question, I will refer to as Sam (for no other reason than that was the first name that came to mind) and his supervisor as Eva. Sam has both more years of experience and a higher degree than Eva, but Eva has friends in administrative positions. When it came time for who was promoted, nepotism won. Initially, Sam was upset by being passed over yet again for a promotion. He began to wonder if it was him and if he would ever advance up the ranks. He concluded that a promotion wasn’t in the cards for him for whatever reason but that this may not be a bad thing. As the saying goes: when one door closes another door opens. He began to look at life beyond his current job and decided to begin building a side hustle that will one day become his primary paycheck. Not being promoted at his current job both gives him free time and motivation to become self-employed. Until then, he works his primary job for a paycheck and insurance. His heart and effort to impress employers are long gone, and he has become one of those “basic” employees. He performs his job to the bare minimal standard and nothing more. His attitude now is if his supervisor is being paid to do the job that no one thought he was qualified to do, then the supervisor can do the majority of the work. Perhaps not the best work ethic to have, but it’s understandable when for years one has felt underappreciated and undervalued while going the extra mile.

Additionally, the company does not give raises based on merit. All raises are across the board and the same amount regardless of employee performance. And this leads to another issue of mules. Some employees are required to pull the weight of slackers, and the slackers go unpunished. In fact, slackers are rewarded because they receive benefits without doing the work. For years, Sam was a mule pulling extra loads because he felt it was the right thing to do. However, after years of doing this with little to no appreciation his burnout has whittled away his loyalty, and he has no incentive to do the bare minimum.

Four terms that psychologists talk about are positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, positive punishment, and negative punishment. Due to how these terms are used in daily language, it’s easy to confuse what they mean psychologically. In psychological terms, positive/negative and reinforcement/punishment do not perfectly correlate to “good” and “bad.” Reinforcers are intended to increase behavior while punishments are intended to decrease behaviors. Instead, they refer to addition/subtraction, increase/decrease, and desired/undesired.

Positive reinforcement refers to adding something (i.e., reinforcing or rewarding) desirable or positive behavior in an effort to increase the likelihood that a desired behavior will increase in the future. For example, a paycheck or a raise would be examples of positive reinforcement.

Negative reinforcement works the same way except it involves removing something uncomfortable or unpleasant to increase the likelihood that a desired behavior will increase in the future. An example of negative reinforcement would be an employee completing his/her assignments early or on time to avoid having to work late, on the weekends, and/or on a holiday. In this example, taking away (i.e., removing) working late, on weekends, and/or holidays (something the employee finds unpleasant) results in increasing the likelihood that work assignments are completed in a timely manner.

The general concept of punishment refers to adding or removing a consequence to decrease the likelihood that an undesirable behavior will reoccur.

Positive punishment involves adding an aversive stimulus to reduce the probability that the behavior will happen again. Being verbally reprimanded by a supervisor for missing a deadline is an example of positive punishment. In this example, the verbal reprimand is what is added to decrease the likelihood that the employee will miss future deadlines.

Negative punishment refers to removing an aversive stimulus to decrease the probability that the behavior will reoccur in the future. An example of negative punishment is having one’s check docked for being late. Money is taken away to reduce the reoccurrence of the employee being late for work.

In summary, the difference between positive reinforcement and positive punishment is that positive reinforcement seeks to increase desired behavior while positive punishment seeks to decrease behavior. Taking it a step further, positive reinforcement intends to increase the reoccurrence of desired behavior by adding something pleasant. Positive punishment intends to decrease the reoccurrence of undesired behavior by adding something unpleasant, and negative reinforcement removes something unpleasant to increase the chances of the reoccurrence of a desired behavior.

 ActionExpectationBehavior TypePositive reinforcementAddIncreaseDesiredNegative reinforcementRemoveIncreaseDesiredPositive punishmentAddDecreaseUndesiredNegative punishmentsRemoveDecreaseUndesired

So, why is it necessary to understand these four psychological concepts in this blog? This point will become obvious later.

So, that’s the history.

The issue began when Sam made a professional decision in the format of a report—a decision he is qualified to make. Although it is Sam’s credentials that ultimately count, Eva’s job title has her to sign after him, as if she has the authority to approve his work. Here’s the catch. The company policy allows Eva to do this. However, legally, she can’t. If there is ever a dispute over the document, the person who will be held responsible will be Sam and not Eva. Even if Eva admits she gave Sam an administrative directive to change his report, if the change is incorrect, Sam is liable, as this is seen as a competency issue.

If a patient tells his doctor that he is diabetic, and the doctor gives insulin without conducting the proper medical test, the doctor is guilty of malpractice. If the chief of staff has a degree in business and not medicine directs the doctor to administer insulin and the doctor does so without conducting the proper medical test to determine if the patient is indeed diabetic, the physician still is guilty of malpractice. The reason the physician is guilty is because he did not do the due diligence that he should have known to do. If ignorance of the law is no excuse, ignoring the law because someone says it’s okay is also no excuse.

The change Sam made in his report was made to increase the clarity of the report. Eva asked him to change it because (and this is where the irony begins) it makes it hard for the typist to include the information that Eva has instructed her to change after Sam has signed off. Thus, Sam pointed out that changing his reports after he has signed off without his knowledge and leaving his name there to make it appear that he has made the changes is an act of falsifying documentation. It’s no different than signing a contract to rent an apartment and then having the landlord add additional terms and fees to the lease without the renter being aware of the changes.

Now, in all fairness, it should be noted that Eva has been trained to perform the supervisory job but only to a limited capacity. For example, a person who has learned basic math can likely balance a checkbook or budget. However, is that person capable of applying exponential and logarithmic functions and statistical analysis to understand complex spreadsheets such as national budgets? Mimicking what to do is one thing. Having a deep understanding of why something is done allows for generalization into other areas. While Eva is capable of being an effective supervisor, she in no way should be supervising Sam. Her incompetency in what he does bleeds into her dictation to him that can potentially cause him to do a poor job which will hold him (and only him) accountable for any debacles. This is what makes Eva a horrible boss.

Sam’s job offers him very little (actually nothing) in the area of reinforcers but is overloaded with punishment. The reason that punishment often fails to have long-term effects in producing desired outcomes is that the person experiencing it often develops resentment towards the person administering it and shuts down to being open to changing behavior. In hindsight, Sam had still been harboring resentment for his shabby treatment and was triggered when approached by Eva to request that he basically dummy down his report for a secretary’s convenience. That was the true root of the issue.

So, what can be done?

The most obvious answer is to change jobs or positions. Simply do not work for a horrible boss. However, that is easier said than done, especially when decent-paying jobs are difficult to acquire in this economy. This leads to the second point.Develop an exit strategy. This may include going back to school for an advanced degree or taking training that will teach skills required for job advancement. It also could include, as in Sam’s case, developing a side hustle.Avoid the person as much as possible. If you don’t have to be around this person, don’t. Close your office door. Wear earbuds to cancel out the surroundings and get a Zen place. Complete works in a timely fashion with as few errors as possible to avoid having to meet or avoid discussions. Communicate via email or text when possible to avoid face-to-face. Become inaccessible during free time by avoiding common areas. For example, instead of hanging out in the employee lounge on break, sit outside and enjoy the fresh air.Have outlets to channel any negative energy. This entails forming a good support group. This group may include family, friends, a community organization, and/or a professional therapist. There is no limit as to how many supports one can have. What is important is that the supports are people who can be trusted, are levelheaded, will listen, remain objective, and give constructive criticism as opposed to tearing one down.Mental preparation before encounters. Some people do yoga. Others meditate, and others choose prayer. Whatever method is chosen, spend time to mentally prepare for interactions. Understand your triggers and use relaxation techniques when you feel yourself getting riled.Arm yourself with prevention to avoid contact. For example, I have a relative who during holiday gatherings always brings down the mood with many complaints and controlling behaviors. However, I noticed that there is a pattern to her complaints. I developed a strategy to address all her complaints prior to her making them. For instance, she has an annoying habit of interrupting Christmas gift unwrapping by stopping anxious gift receivers during the middle of opening gifts to pick up any gift-wrapping paper that falls to the floor. “Oh, pick that up.” “You missed a little piece over there.” “Throw that in the trash.” Excited children are prevented from enjoying the moment. Parents miss getting that look of surprise when the present they’ve been so excited to give is squashed by multiples, “Put that in the trash.” There was a discussion to exclude this relative from the celebration, but many thought that was too mean and extreme. Thus, my solution was to place several trash bags around the room the night before. When anyone opens a gift, I slide the bag under them to catch the wrapping. Now, she can’t complain—at least not about that. I addressed each of her complaints in a similar fashion to steal her thunder. Now, she sits quietly on these occasions, looking for something to complain about.Most things in life are temporary. Horrible bosses come and go. This boss may not always be there. He/she may be promoted to another position, retire, quit, be terminated, or need to vacate the position for other reasons.Your horrible boss may not have anything to do with you or your ability. Sam, on many levels, is a threat to Eva. She knows that she has the position but that Sam has the knowledge. She knows that she has the support and backing of the company but that Sam has legal on his side. She feels threatened and sometimes attempts to throw her weight around as a supervisor. Allow this. If it makes another person feel better about themselves, so be it. How they feel about themselves should be no reflection of how you feel about yourself. It’s nothing but MGS (Mean Girl Syndrome). Let the person have their moment in the sun because yours will come eventually. While the supervisor is doing that, occupy your time with something else.Don’t stress. Take breaks. Work smarter, not harder. Don’t exhaust yourself for employers who don’t value and will not reward your effort. As Sam says, if Eva is the supervisor, then she can do the supervisor’s work by having to put in extra hours. For example, Sam used to complete assignments as quickly as possible. Now, he completes them as close to the deadline as possible. Even if he completes them far in advance, he does not turn them in until close to the deadline. Why? Because Eva has the same deadlines, and it makes her have to hustle to do her part. Now, this may sound like being petty or passive-aggressive and perhaps it is. But when Sam completes assignments early, Eva gives him more work to do while she kicks her feet up. She also gets the credit from higher-ups for running an effective department. Since he began doing this, Eva’s time in her office watching YouTube videos and talking coo-coo to her grandbaby on Facetime during working hours has significantly decreased.Consider what is best for you and put yourself first. Sam used to set aside his personal life for work. He’d work over without being asked and volunteer to do tasks when no one else stepped up. That’s all in the past for him. If someone is needed to work late, he doesn’t volunteer. If wants a day off, he doesn’t factor in if it is inconvenient for anyone anymore. He just takes the day off. Eva can deal with the shortage. After all, that is the position of the supervisor.

Now, I understand that there are many people who will disagree with these suggestions, and I get why. Employees are paid to do a job. Employers owe nothing to employees—except that isn’t true. Employers owe their employees to be treated decently and like humans. Employers do not have the right to belittle and dehumanize employees. Sure, they can tell an employee what to do and critique their work (harshly even). Being a good boss does not mean not being firm or allowing employees to have a wide range to do whatever they want to do. It does not mean that a supervisor does not have the right to reprimand or terminate employees. It doesn’t even mean they have to be nice. But bosses should be fair, just, respectful, and knowledgeable.

If the pandemic taught anything about the workforce, it was that employees learned they had options. They got in touch with their self-worth and value. Many learned that they were stronger than they thought and could do without things that had thought were necessary. It wasn’t that employees didn’t want to work (well, some didn’t), but many realized that they didn’t have to work for bosses who treated them like garbage. People like Sam who have invested numerous years with the hopes of one day being rewarded, only to have more than fifteen years with no advancements due to nepotism and a system designed to keep him in place.

Sam will never be given a supervisory position because his position doesn’t require him to supervise anyone. All supervisor positions require supervisory experience. That’s how persons who have less education and less experience but are in positions that allow them to go to supervisory classes can have them slide into a supervisor slot. In fact, there have been times when Sam (a person with a postgraduate degree and over twenty years of experience) has been under the supervision of someone with a GED and three years’ experience. This is not a knock to anyone with a GED. It just demonstrates what little regard his company holds for people in his position. It’s like having a CNA supervise a neurosurgeon. There is no shade to the CNA. It does not imply that a neurosurgeon is better or more worthy. It’s a matter of expertise when it comes to getting the job done. Is a CNA trained to perform brain surgery? Would the medical board allow a CNA to do brain surgery?

I began this topic by indicating that Sam’s supervisor does not have the credentials to do his job. He began his employment with the belief he was beginning a career. After all, that is what the supervisor had told him. He didn’t realize then that he actually was stepping into a dead-end job. He patiently waited his turn and worked to the best of his ability. He has been noticed by the administration to be one of the company’s finest employees. They frequently go to him when there is a crisis and they need someone to dig them out. He’s been held back not because he’s incapable of doing the job but on technicalities to give family and friends better jobs. Now, Sam has stopped being the overachiever and become a minimal standard. He’s on his way out of the company on his terms. Until then, he just needs to cope.

That wraps up this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.

Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.

When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.

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Author Bio

Genevive Chamblee resides in the Bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm,” and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.