Picture It In 2023: Another Tone Deaf Rewind
In July, I wrote a post titled, Tone Deaf in 2023. Today’s post is in the same spirit. Names have been omitted to “protect” the innocent. Actually, names have been omitted because as a writer, blogger, and creator, it is difficult to write anything that may come across as harsh or negative—in addition to other reasons. So, let’s get into it.
Picture it. A normal afternoon. A wife returns home early to her swanky upscaled, poshed apartment with a doorman to discover her husband of four years in bed with one of her closest friends. Shocked and distraught, she runs out and leaves in her car. But before she makes it to the car, he rushes out of the bedroom, hastily throwing his clothes on. The woman he’s cheating with asks in a panic voice what he wants her to do. He snaps at her to get dressed and get out, as he makes his way to chase after his wife with the classic line, “Wait, we need to talk about this. If you leave it won’t solve anything.”
I can’t explain why the lyrics to Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me immediately popped into my head. Since this is the opening scene of a drama series, I rear back with my iced lemonade to watch how this scenario will unfold. I’m expecting more tears and screaming and a lot of groveling or even a car wreck from distracted driving. What I got… well, not what I expected.
The young wife (in her twenties) drives to her parents’ suburban home. This makes sense and is something many people in this situation would do. In times of crisis, it’s not uncommon to seek support from loved ones. This woman is looking for her father who the audience learns is an attorney. Again, this makes sense—not only support but also legal advice. So far, so good. But instead of finding her father, she finds her mother who comes across as a bit brassy and cold. When the mother inquires about the reason for the visit, the daughter sidesteps and suggests that they go shopping. Okay, this is a plausible reaction if she doesn’t have a good relationship with her mother and she’s wanting to distract herself until she can speak with her father. And then a time warp occurs of sorts.
Hop forward a few scenes to dinnertime. The wife is now seated at the table with her parents and her siblings, and there is tension at the table. Both parents have become aware of their daughter’s current situation. The audience also has learned more details about this young wife which adds to the stakes. The wife has recently returned to college after dropping out, has one child, and is expecting her second. The other children are experiencing their own issues, but that’s not being discussed here. Dinner ends with the mother pretty much insistent on serving everyone pie and most of the family declining. This upset the mother. At this point, I’m getting Mary Tyler Moore’s Beth Jarrett character in Ordinary People vibes. (If you’ve never watched that classic, you’re missing out.)
Dinner is over, and the mother is steaming, but the audience isn’t quite sure why. The mother then lights into her husband (and I mean she goes in on him with guns blasting), accusing him of being too soft on their daughter. He retaliates by accusing her of being jealous of her daughter. Well, the conversation deteriorates from that point. The man earnestly asks his wife how she condones her son-in-law’s philandering. He further questions, “what kind of humiliation” should they expect their daughter to accept and continue with the marriage? The mother poignantly states, “Exactly, the kind I did with you.” **mike drop**
The husband argues that his affair happened a long time ago and questions, “Are you ever going to let it go?” It comes across as if he’s invalidating her feeling just because of the passage of time, that it should be completely erased from her memory. And while forgiveness is an integral part of moving beyond something like that in a marriage, it isn’t as if a finger snap occurs and all memories are erased. It seems perfectly logical to me that any woman (or man) who has been cheated on would remember it with hurt and a bit of anger even if they have forgiven the person. Forgiveness does not mean that the hurt never happened. But when she explains that the memory is still painful, her husband informs her that that is… wait for it… “stupid.”
But then, the wife agrees with her husband that her feeling hurt is stupid. She doubles down by stating that her son-in-law’s cheating is no different than his past infidelity and that their daughter has given her husband more reasons to cheat on her than the father had to cheat on his wife. She continues that her daughter has not made an effort to grow her son-in-law from a “boy” into a “man.” So, basically, it’s the woman’s fault that her husband cheats? Is that really the message that is being sent? **gag**
The argument then turns from being about their daughter to being more about them. The husband asks, “What about the baby?” (referring to the unborn child the daughter is expecting.) The wife confesses that she considered having an abortion during each of her pregnancies, expressing both the mental and physical a woman may experience while carrying, and the husband is shocked. She adds that these were fleeing moments of weakness for her, breaks downs into tears, and rushes into her husband’s arms. By now, I’m wondering what did I just watch.
Skip ahead and the philandering husband arrives at the home of his in-laws. He receives a cold welcome from his father-in-law, a warm welcome from his mother-in-law, and an impartial nod of acknowledgment from his brother-in-law who is watching from the top of a staircase. The mother-in-law suggests…no, commands…that her husband prepare them all a drink. After a brief conversation of a slight back-and-forth between the father-in-law and son-in-law, the son-in-law heads upstairs to his wife’s childhood bedroom where she’s all gussied up and in bed. She knows her husband had arrived because she heard his vehicle pull up as well as her brother informing her. So, it’s reasonable to assume that she is expecting him when he knocks on the door. She invites him in without ceremony, in a wispy voice. Once he enters, she asks him what he wants, and he responds, “Anything you want.” Now, one would think a cheating spouse who’s been caught would act a little humbled. But no. This guy follows up in the next breath, “You’re so mean.” Say what?
In his monologue, he tells her that she acting like “Camille” and to “cut out the nonsense and come home.” I’m assuming (and I may be wrong) by Camille he is referring to the titular character in the 1936 movie Camille which was about a courtesan (a.k.a., a wealthy, upper-class prostitute) who needs to choose between two men (one who loves her and one who is wealthy but callous). I’m further assuming that the cheating husband here is referring to himself as the man who loves her and her father as the coldhearted baron because he complains that her father has put “the thumb screws” to him. He concludes by telling her that she knows that she wants to be home in her own bed and that he will be waiting for her when she’s finished playing this game. She responds with what I suppose the writers thought was cheeky by asking if she should call first—alluding to when earlier in the day when she’d arrived unexpectedly, he’d been bedding her friend. He assures her that he will be alone. Then, he gives her what could be considered an ultimatum. He informs her that he would prefer she “punish” him by staying at her parents’ home than in his bedroom. I don’t think he’s talking about S&M or any kind of bondage because it’s not that kind of show. I think he’s referring to her withholding marital relations. And scene. What version of WTF is this?
This man never once apologizes for his behavior and then proceeds to engage in what is nothing shy of gaslighting. He speaks for her— “I know you want to be home.” He belittles her as his wife by comparing her to a prostitute. He invalidates her feelings and insinuates that her father has no reason to be perturbed with him.
What I found interesting is when this series was made, the women’s movement was at a high point. Is this what was considered empowered women? But this has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with decency. Even more puzzling was when I read the comments about this episode, and people were gushing over it. When one person mentioned how the cheating husband never apologized, a poster responded that she was “missing the point.” What point? That when you do something wrong, it’s okay to not apologize or own it? Some commenters wrote that the wife wasn’t a “victim” because in later episodes she was portrayed to be manipulative. So, this means two wrongs make a right? Because she has flaws and engages in poor decisions in her marriage this gives her husband the license to sleep with her friends?
Any marriage has problems, and likely every marriage has gone through a rough patch (of varying degrees) or two. And there have been many marriages that have survived infidelity. Should this woman have rushed to file for divorce? Well, not if she wanted to work things out. I won’t even argue that he shouldn’t be forgiven. But to have her feelings so casually dismissed, especially after a fresh wound, is inexcusable. I honestly expected more outrage in the comment section regarding his behavior toward her. I found it disgusting, and that is what caused me to wonder if this is still acceptable behavior in 2023. Understand, this post is not a criticism of or throwing any shade at the writing or acting. It is merely a consideration or questioning of how attitudes and social roles have evolved and changed.
Now, I’m sure some readers have deducted what classic series I am talking about despite my not having included the name. Let me clarify that there are many reasons why I do not always include names. But if interested, this series first aired in the 1970s and was so popular that it ran for several seasons and had nine Emmy wins.
And that will conclude this post. Now, it’s your turn to sound off. What did you think? What is your take on the subject? Do you agree or disagree? Did you find this information helpful or informative? Did you learn anything new, or did it change your opinion? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Also, let me know if you would like me to cover more of these types of topics or dive deeper into this one. If you like this post, please click the like button and share it. Your feedback allows me to know the content that you want to read. If you’re not following me on Creole Bayou blog, what are you waiting for? There’s always room at the bayou.
Get ready. It’s time to hit the ice again. Future Goals has arrived and is available.
When a college hockey player needs the help of an attractive older attorney, he gets more than he bargained for when trying to sort out the troubles in his career. Falling in love was never part of either man’s plan, especially as Corrigan’s and Sacha’s lives should never have collided. Now they’re left questioning if they’re standing in the way of the other’s future goals, or if there’s room for redirection.
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Author Bio
Genevive Chamblee resides in the bayou country where sweet tea and SEC football reign supreme. She is known for being witty (or so she thinks), getting lost anywhere beyond her front yard (the back is pushing it as she’s very geographically challenged), falling in love with shelter animals (and she adopts them), asking off-the-beaten-path questions that make one go “hmm”, and preparing home-cooked Creole meals that are as spicy as her writing. Genevive specializes in spinning steamy, romantic tales with humorous flair, diverse characters, and quirky views of love and human behavior. She also is not afraid to delve into darker romances as well.
