Iman Refaat's Blog, page 10

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“It’s a real page turner. Fabulous Veils tells the story of three women of different social standards in Egypt, each facing the same monster ‘opression’. While each woman fights her own battle you are emotionally bonded to each one of them. The novel addresses issues in the Egyptian society that must be eradicated in order for our beloved Egypt to thrive. A brilliant read.”

 

The Greatest Agent of Change

“I’m not working as a khadama!” yelled Hanan. The vulnerable poor girl who was oppressed since she was born insisted, opposing her mother who was trying to convince her to work as a help, just like her.

Many people feel lost, unaware of what to do with their lives. Uncertain about their passion, their mission and their life purpose. When asked for an advice, I encourage my students and friends to start by doing what Hanan, my side character in Fabulous Veils, had done. Identifying what we don’t want is a great progress on the path of personal fulfilment . Becoming aware of what we don’t want our life to turn to brings us clarity and motivates us to move away from it.

My father was a Surgeon. His vocation was very demanding. He spent his early mornings writing papers and books. In his mornings and noons he was a Professor and he deliberately spent his evenings in his clinic. This left us, his family, only with one meal with him over the course of the day. We understood he was busy for a holy mission, hence, my mother was the one in charge of raising me and my three sisters.

Turning into an adult, I was aware I didn’t want to marry a doctor. I didn’t want to raise my children on my own. I didn’t want them to feel the void I felt. And I didn’t want to live as a single mother while being married. My next step was thinking of the traits I won’t tolerate to live with. I knew I wouldn’t stand stinginess, poor hygiene and dishonesty. Being aware of what I don’t want gave me clarity of what to turn down.

To which extent are we aware of what we don’t want? Whether in our personal lives, our professions, our style of living and our relationships. If you don’t feel satisfied with your current life, slow down and start paying attention of what you don’t want.

“Awareness is the greatest agent of change.” — Eckhart Tolle

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Open_Discussion

From your perspective, what’s the greatest agent of change?

 

#Change_Your_Life#Life_Skills#Mind Maps into Action

Why not taking your thinking into a higher level? Put your mind map into action by scheduling your thoughts, by answering the basic questions of what, when, where, who and by jotting your later actions in your future log. Try it out and you will be wowed with the results!

Self-Leadership#Friendship

“Friends are angels that lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Simplicity

My public speech at Passion to Profit Conference 2016

A dream that came true. It wasn’t easy, yet it was simple!

 

Which Model of the World Are You Creating?

I must go to work even if I’m sick. I must study even if I’m extremely exhausted. I must take my kids to the training even if my friends are hanging out and I wish to join them.

‘I must’ is one of the statements my clients frequently use. Working on my listening skills as a Meta-Coach, I became more attentive to their ‘Meta-programs’ or easier to call it their ‘Thinking patterns’.

The Meta-programs

Meta-Programs are perceptual lenses people use to make sense of their world. In most cases these meta-programs filter people’s lives and disable them from progressing. Meta-Coaches work on raising the clients’ awareness about the way they filter their lives and facilitate for them the expansion of their meta-programs.

‘I must’ is only one example from 60 meta-programs we studied as coaches. I used it to clarify our distorted way to see the world and lead our lives. When asked about the reference of ‘I must’, the clients, in most cases, remain clueless. Though unable to identify why they see it as a ‘must’, they find it hard to change this necessity.

Your Lenses, Your world

What kind of lenses are we wearing? And to which extent does our way of thinking filter our world? Are we perfectionists operating from an ‘either or’ meta-program (either 100% or nothing)? Are we competitive freaks who can’t stand anyone wining but ourselves and live by the rule of ‘in order to win others must lose’?

In order to experience a better life we need to change, and the first fundamental step in change is becoming aware of our lenses and selecting the ones that would lead us to the life of our dreams.

“Life is based on perception. Perception is based on opinion. Opinion is based on thought. Thought comes from the mind. Change your mind, change your life.”

If you’re a perfectionist check this book for Alice D. Domar Ph.D, it will unleash your potentials and take your life to a higher level.

https://www.amazon.com/Be-Happy-Without-Being-Perfect/dp/0307354881

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“As this is Iman Refaat’s first published novel, I would like to encourage her to write more because it was a great experience for me to read her novel. I am looking forward to the next one and I will recommend it to everyone I encounter!”

 

Are You Aware of the Evil You Are Infusing?

My experience was tough. It was very hard at first. Teaching teenagers wasn’t an easy job. Until I started to love them unconditionally, accepting their flows and focusing on what they do right instead of catching them doing mistakes. One of the tools I held on to was Goethe’s quote: “If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”

I started creating for them experiences in which they show their talents and demonstrate their potentials. I encouraged them to be real and genuine. I did it for years while feeling satisfied with what I did between the walls of my classroom as an Educator.

What I wasn’t aware that I wasn’t aware of was what I was doing behind the walls of my home. With my daughter, who was a teenager too. ‘Maa’ndish banat’ was one of the statements I used with her to express my rejection towards some of her requests. Ignoring Goethe’s words and instilling in my daughter’s head that she is a girl, and hence she doesn’t have same rights like her brother. “Why?” My answer to her question was limited to: “Because you’re a girl”. It was a complete sentence for me back then. It included the meaning between the lines. It held the misconceptions my community transmitted from generation to another. And currently I no wonder why many women play the victim. We treat them as they are as ‘vulnerable creatures’ and they remain as they are, ‘victims’.

My Fabulous Veils readers were angry at Gameela, my main character. For her submission. For her victimhood mode. For not standing for her rights. For not confronting her husband Sherif. On my turn I don’t feel angry at Gameela. I feel angry at the brainwash I was subject to. I feel angry at myself for living for years with rotten beliefs, accepting them and not taking a single action except for raising my children to believe in them too.

My daughter once told me a story of a carpenter who used to craft beautiful handmade pieces every time he felt angry. He did it to channel his anger, believing that anger is energy that he needed to get it out. I loved the story and adopted it. Channeling my anger at the misconceptions, wrong beliefs and brainwash I, and my community members,  experience in Egypt, I write, I speak and I invite people to think.

A movement is what Fabulous Veils is. It isn’t a novel for people to read on a summer day while drinking a florida cocktail. It’s a call for action and reflection. It’s an appeal for a pause for evaluation. Our words and actions are powerful and they shape our fate and the fate of our children. We ought to slow down and think of how to treat them so that they become what they ought to be and could be.

“Ignorance cannot lead to evil, misconceptions lead to evil.” – Leo Tolstoy

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Open_Discussion

What are you infusing in other people’s lives?