Iman Refaat's Blog, page 20

#Fabulous Veils#The Secrets behind the Scenes# Secret 18

Would you allow yourself to be happy without being perfect? I did, and this was another secret which enabled me to make my dream come true.

In order to beat my relentless trials to be perfect I read a book called ‘Be happy without being perfect’ which I highly recommend for perfectionists. The 5 following steps will allow you to defeat this mental thief:

1- Change your mindset.

Only GOD is perfect. All human beings have flows and this is a secret behind their beauty. It’s an evidence that they are humans.

2- Reflect on the impact of perfectionism on your past.

Think of the many times you didn’t take actions and the many chances you turned down because you thought the outcome won’t be perfect. Why befriending perfectionism? He’s limiting you.

3- Study the examples of successful people.

Observe their simple beginnings. They weren’t perfect. Any work of art, any product, any project they produced still have areas for improvement. Nothing in life is perfect so why chasing an illusion?

4- Aim for progress.

Replace your unrealistic goal of ‘being perfect’ with a realist one of ‘doing progress’. Put serious effort to do things properly. Ask for feedback from your family, friends and people who have dreams like yours. Consider their feedback and develop.

5- Stop being selfish.

Playing little and not chasing your dreams is a selfish act. You were given gifts to use them for the best of others. Waiting to be perfect and depriving people from what you can share with them is negatively affecting them and the world.

Change your lens, change your life. Perfectionism is a robber, is mental disease. You will make big things the moment you win your battle over him.

It All Starts with You..

If you were to capture a picture of yourself right now and observe it, what would you see? What would your facial expressions look like. If the picture was a video which recorded your self-talk, what would it be recording? In short, how do you feel right now and what was your inner voice telling you in this particular moment?

‘The leader who had no title’ is one of the statements I hear over and over again from the world great leader Robin Sharma. In his books and videos he encourages people to act like leaders, leading their own lives and acting like Picasso in their vocations.

Working as an Educational leader for a full decade, Stephen R. Covey’s and Robin Sharma’s books had taught me profound life lessons. Elyse Nelson’s words greatly express one of those lessons: “Leadership is about the decisions you make, and the actions that you take each day.” Each day. Tough part. And that’s what Covey insisted on. We can’t be leaders in one area of our lives and failing in others. Our life must be a complete whole. This is what authenticity is about.

My journey in leading myself wasn’t an easy one. It was harsh. It started with guilt, shame and self-judgment. I was too hard on myself and expected from it to be perfect ALL the time. I scolded myself and blamed it for every single detail. I did that for so long till I reached a dead end. I lost my voice for stress and suffered from chronic back pain. The pain kept increasing till one day I felt unable to continue such a miserable life. I sought help and a compassionate Life Coach taught me to see myself and my life from a different angle. I started to practice self-love and here I am, four years later, showing up as a leader ‘each day’ as Nelson advocated.

Leading my life on daily basis required from me further readings and several practices. I comprehended that the way we start our days sets the tone of the rest of its hours. Devoting few minutes at the beginning to breath well, to mediate or to drink a cup of fresh orange juice had magnificent effects. Buying myself flowers on weekly basis and having them on my desk at work reminded me that I am a leader; leading my life. Loving myself. Playing no victim. Taking ownership of my happiness. And by practicing simple and affordable self-love actions my relation with myself changed and I started to befriend myself which was a turning point. I watched the way I talked to myself, paid attention to my negative words and apologised to myself sometimes. Gradually my self-talk became gentle and kind and I embraced myself the way I was, with the things I used to reject in my outer and inner self.

Observing my life lately I found out that accepting myself was the starting point that made me find the peace and fulfilment I was looking for. I became a LEADER.

“Leadership isn’t a title. It’s a behaviour. Live it,” Robin Sharma

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Open_Discussion

Were people created to be leaders or followers?

#Fabulous Veils#The Secrets behind the Scenes# Secret 17

#Fabulous Veils#The Secrets behind the Scenes# Secret 17

Problems aren’t problems. Problems are problems only when we give them this meaning and look at them this way. Along my journey I faced many obstacles while writing my novel. However, following the steps below enabled me to reach my dream. The steps were:

1- Changing my perception. Looking at problems as challenges. Changing the way I looked at problems and the way I called them made me take them easier and deal with them with courage.

2- Calming down. Taking a deep breath and searching for solutions on the internet or in books. Asking for the help of my family and friends. Instead of wasting my time complaining and playing the victim, I decided to ask for help and ended up having 54 persons helping me in my novel.

3- Reflecting on the obstacles and how I managed to overcome them. For me the main lesson I learned was to ask for help, instead of panicking or wasting time and energy. This made me develop a strategy to face problems.

4- Feeling more confident. Putting problems into perspective made me see myself on top of my challenges which wasn’t the case at the beginning.

5- Feeling excited while expecting obstacles. By reframing the meaning of ‘Problems’ I started to call them ‘Challenges’, which meant for me growth and evolution.

6- Taking an overview on the whole experience. Studying how challenges changed me on all aspect whether mentally, spiritually, emotionally. How I became a stronger and better person.

Problems are opportunities in disguise. They were sent to you and you in particular to help you grow and develop. Grab them, put them into perspective and start dealing with them as if they were riddles.