Iman Refaat's Blog, page 8

Which Role Are You Playing, the Martyr or the Victim?

‘Governments in less developed countries create constant crises to keep their citizens busy with the struggle of everyday life’. This is one of the concepts I had studied in the 20th century. Whether it’s the traffic, the economic inflation, the terrorism, it doesn’t matter. All what matters is to keep people struggling with their safety and physiological needs so that they stay distracted and claim no rights.

Madiha and Mony, two of my female characters in Fabulous Veils, weren’t struggling like the majority of the Egyptian population. They belonged to the Elite. Their family had power and their basic human needs were fulfilled. They both had awareness. However, their lives took different detours. Madiha, the mother, was aware that she didn’t want to get married that young. She was aware she wanted to postpone her marriage. She was aware that her groom was cold. And though she had awareness, she stood still doing nothing. She took the seat of the audience and allowed her mother to direct her life like a marionette.  She played the role of the victim and wrongly believed she was a martyr.

Mony, the daughter, was aware too that she didn’t want to get married. She was aware that she wanted to study abroad. And she was aware that she won’t accept to be treated as a marionette. She found in her mother no martyrs and she refused to become another copy of her mother, grandmother and great ancestors. She communicated her needs, her wants, her dreams. And though she communicated them clearly, she was neither heard nor understood.

Awareness and communication weren’t enough. To live her own life and create her own fate she needed to take the whole responsibility on her shoulders. She needed to stand up for her choices. She needed to be bold and to be strong.

Love, the purest and most holy power on Earth, should never become our curse. Our beloved ones don’t have the right to control our lives or slaughter our dreams. True love, whether it’s from a parent or a lover, should empower us and turn us into heroes and role models. Love wasn’t meant to create neither victims nor martyrs.

“You don’t get good karma by making yourself into a martyr. Learn how to stand up for yourself and your good karma will be delivered in that instant.” Bryant MCGILL

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Open_Discusion

What is the difference between a ‘martyr’ and a ‘victim’?

 

Note Taking Isn’t Enough

Learning isn’t enough, we must apply. Taking notes, though it’s highly important for our memory, it isn’t enough. To learn is to do and hence we ought to turn our notes into actions.

#Self-Leadership#Flowers

“Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.” Luther Burbank

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#FabulousVeilsNovel#And the Social Movement Begins!

Coaching and Insanity

If you feel unhappy or unsatisfied with your life then it’s about time to change it. You need to start taking steps, serious steps to change it. And if you think that change is hard, you’re right. Especially if you’re considering a deep change and one that would last. Albert Einstein explained that: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” He promoted for change. Why spending your life struggling while you can enjoy the journey of change with a Personal Coach who would unleash your potentials and help you change what you can no longer accept nor tolerate?

https://paradigmshiftegypt.com/coaching-and-insanity/

 

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“Fabulous Veils is not just a novel about women, but an outcry for a social revolution. It’s a call for women not just to demand change or wish for it, but to go out and fight for it.”

https://womenofegyptmag.com/2017/02/25/the-fight-for-women-rights/

 

That’s Why Awareness Turns Into A Curse

Is your heart aching? William Shakespeare claimed that: “Expectation is the root of all heartache”. And I wonder; had he been mistaken?

A couple of months ago I got certified as a Meta-Coach. On the same day of receiving my certificate, my mother and sisters surprised me with a cake and a beautiful bunch of flowers and celebrated my achievement.

Later on the same day my partner congratulated me verbally, warmly, and did nothing more. He didn’t arrange for me a surprise or get me a special gift on such a meaningful event for me. I remembered Gameela, one of my main characters in Fabulous Veils. How her partner failed to meet her expectations and how this was one of the main causes that bombarded their love story. Expectations from both sides.

I took a little pause to think of what I really wanted. I wished to celebrate with my husband my accomplishment. It didn’t matter for me that it would be a surprise. What mattered was that we celebrate together this milestone. I remembered John Gray’s teachings. I recalled how my partner comes from Mars and how I come from a different planet; planet Venus. I was aware that he loved me not less than my mother and sisters who all came from Venus. I remembered how he surprises me from time to time. And how his work was overwhelming him in this period. And though I was aware of what I wanted, I knew that awareness wouldn’t take me anywhere. I knew I had to communicate what I wanted. And most importantly, to communicate it in the language that my partner understands; the language of planet Mars.

Attending a Jazz concert at the Cairo Opera House was my choice for celebration. We spent a night-to-remember enjoying the melodies and each other. My heart was filled with gratitude to both my partner and Shakespeare. I refused to live my life as a victim like Gameela. I learned from her that awareness without communication is a curse that fires people’s lives and it starts by destroying them from within.

“Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.” John Gray

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Open_Discussion

Could Awareness Be a Curse?

 

13 Steps to Organise Your Possessions

 

If you aren’t organised it’s never too late. As a child I was a complete mess. Currently people see me as a very organised person and my colleagues at work gave me the title of ‘The Most Organised’.

It all started with the need. As a teacher, I needed to be organised. I started to learn and practice the skill till I became organised. Considering that many people happen to use desks, or have children who possess desks, I will be giving my example on organising desks. However, the same 13 steps I’m sharing apply on almost all possessions we have.

The 13 Steps to Organise our Possessions:

1- Clarifying

Identifying what we want to organise (a desk, a wardrobe, the kitchen…etc)

2- Complete mess

Creating a pile from all the things we possess in this category and wish to organise.

3- Sorting

In one pile we keep what we really use or might need. In the second pile we would add the things we no longer need.

4- Checking

Checking the first pile one more time while considering the impact of what we want to keep on our happiness and energy. If there are things that won’t make us happy we better add them to the second pile.

5- Categorising 

By dividing the first pile into small piles of things from same type. A pile of pens, another for books, one for papers…etc.

6- Containerising 

By putting the possessions in each small pile in a suitable container (Pens in pen pots, papers in files..)

7- Listing

One of the challenges that people face is not having appropriate containers for what they possess. Hence, we need to be clear on what we need by writing a list (shelves, drawers, boxes…)

8- Allocating specific places

We need to consider two factors in this step. First, how often do we use each category in order to make the things we use frequently accessible. Second, the size of the items in each category. If what we possess is really large we might need certain drawers, boxes under the desk or extra shelves on top on the desk.

9- Labeling

Adding labels make it easier to access our possessions and helps our brains become more organised. We can also have specific copybooks/files/envelops for each workshop we attend, s

10- Decorating

Whether by adding flowers, scented candles or colours. Turning our desks into a cheerful place would encourage us to keep it organised.

11- Reusing

Reusing old boxes or jars as containers would save us money and with simple effort we can turn them into personalised good-looking containers.

12- Donating

In this step we will consider the second pile we left in step 3. We will need to check what should be thrown out and what can be donated and to whom and take a prompt action of donating.

13- Enjoying the process

Listening to music or chatting with a friend on the phone while organising really helps!

It sounds hard. It is but only at the beginning. Remember I was a messy child and now I became organised. It’s hard yet possible and very rewarding.