Brené Brown's Blog, page 36

an FAQ on the connections training (september 8-10 in houston)

[image error]We are receiving daily emails about the 3-day Connections Curriculum Training that is scheduled for September 8-10, in Houston. I thought it might be helpful to post an FAQ here for those of you who are interested in attending or would like more information. You're welcome to leave questions in the comments section and we'll answer them in the same place! 

1. What is the Connections Curriculum?

After I wrote I Thought It Was Just Me, I received hundreds of emails and letters from helping professionals asking how to integrate Shame Resilience Theory (my theory on how shame works in our lives) into their work with clients.

After conducting several focus groups with mental health and addiction professionals, I developed Connections – a psycho-educational, empirically based curriculum that professionals can use to help their clients recognize shame as a universal experience and embrace authentic living as a foundation for shame resilience.

Connections includes a three-ring binder with facilitator information and lesson plans for twelve sessions, a 114-minute DVD, and a CD-ROM containing reproducible client handouts.

2. What training do you need to facilitate Connections?

The curriculum was designed for helping professionals. Facilitators should have the appropriate licensure and/or training to do psycho-educational work with groups, as dictated by their accrediting entity. Facilitators should also attend at least one national training for the curriculum prior to working with clients.

3. Where is Connections being facilitated and by whom?

Connections is currently being facilitated by social workers, psychologists, nurses, counselors, marriage and family therapists, psychiatrists, addiction professionals, criminal justice professionals, clergy, pastoral counselors, and professional coaches. The settings are very diverse and range from churches and in-patient treatment centers, to prisons, group therapy settings, high schools, middle schools, and corporate settings.

Just a note: Not all faciliators call it Connections. One of the most popular groups in Houston is called "The Hustle for Worthiness" group - based on the title of this DVD. There are is also a long-running group called "Pefectly Imperfect." Other than me and a few of my shame-reslience loving friends, not too many people would show up to "Shame School." I'd personally go Harry Potter and call my group "Defense Against the Dark Arts." 

4. What can we expect from the 3-day event?

I will facilitate the majority of the training on all three days. I've invited four master therapists/trainers to join us and talk about their experiences facilitating the curriculum and to lead breakout sessions. We will basically go through the entire curriculum and process the work from both the client and the facilitator's perspectives.  We will do some small group work and experiential work.

5. Do I need to buy the curriculum if I'm attending the training?

Yes. When you register they'll give you a link to buy the curriculum at a discounted price. You can also buy it directly from Hazelden.

If you have the first edition (black cover), you may want to consider buying the updated version. We've made some major changes.

6. I went to the last national training in 2009. Will there be anything new?

YES! We will be integrating major pieces from my theory on Wholhearted Living into the existing work (the guideposts from The Gifts of Imperfection). We'll also explore the importance of creative arts, music, and spirituality. 

7. What about hotels and logistics for folks who don't live in Houston?

No problem! Our event hosts have all of the information you need when you register!

8.  I'd love to be in a Connections group. How do I find a facilitator in my area?

We're working on this right now! We hope to have a list by November.

Additional information and registration is HERE! 

To learn more about Connections and read a sample chapter, click here. 

If you have any questions, please feel free to leave them in the comments section!

why back-to-school is always bittersweet

Why I love back-to-school time:

1. New teachers, new notebooks, and new beginnings

2. School supply shopping is a way to rationalize my office supply addiction

3. Fall festivals, pumpkin-scented candles, and autumn wreaths (and some cooler weather, PLEASE)

4. Uniforms, glorious uniforms! All I have to do is keep track of TOMS and sneakers – everything else is done!

5. As a professor, I still keep time on the semester calendar. Fall marks the beginning of the new year and new possibilities. Happy New Year!

Why I'm sad to see the summer go:

1. Sleeping late. We'll all be tired and grumpy this week.

2. Packing lunches (although I LOVE writing notes on the napkins)

3. I need to hire someone from FedEX to manage logistics and supplies (soccer for him, soccer for her, school, yearbook, piano, cleats, shin guards, music books, backpacks, lunch boxes, school IDs, etc.)

4. The lazy rhythm of leisurely breakfasts, daily swims, and late dinners 

5. Homework.

The best and worst of back to school is the powerful reminder of time. They are growing up and a new grade is a non-negotiable reminder of the fleeting nature of childhood. As they face the new school year with great excitement and an irrepressible sense of hope, I stand reminded. And so very grateful.  

2005

[image error]

Yesterday, after Ellen's first day of 7th grade and Charlie's first day of kindergarten. 

"once you are real, you can't be ugly"

My amazing friend Dee Dee sent me this passage from the 1922 children's classic, The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. She said it reminded her of our Wholehearted community. It's so beautiful that I wanted to share it with you. Have a great weekend!

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real, you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

 

inspiration interview with gretchen rubin (and a happiness giveaway)

I started the Inspiration Interview Series because I wanted to know more about the people who share their work with the world and inspire me to practice courage, be creative, and dream big. Gretchen is one of those people. Meet Gretchen! 

[image error]

Gretchen Rubin is the best-selling writer whose book, The Happiness Project, is the account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness.

[image error]The Happiness Project is more than a book and a blog, it's a movement. Happiness Project groups have sprung up around the world; hundreds of book groups have discussed the book; and rights for more than 32 foreign editions have been sold. The Happiness Project was even an answer on the game-show Jeopardy!

A graduate of Yale and Yale Law School, where she was Editor-in-Chief of the Yale Law Journal, Rubin started her career in law, and she was clerking for Justice Sandra Day O'Connor when she realized she really wanted to be a writer.

I had the pleasure of meeting Gretchen at the 2011 BlogHer Conference. Gretchen and I sat on a panel with Shauna James Ahern and Shannon from the Mr. Lady blog. After a wonderful panel experience, Gretchen and I had a conversation about happiness, vulnerability, writing, and work/life integration. It was inspiring!

I hope you enjoy Gretchen's interview as much I did. Her answer about managing perfectionism is so powerful! If you'd like to win a copy of Gretchen's book, The Happiness Project, leave a comment telling us one thing that makes you really happy! I'll draw three winners on Tuesday evening! 

Questions based on The Gifts of Imperfection!

1. What role does vulnerability play in your work?

I write about happiness through the lens of my own experience. I've found that when I reveal my own faults, limitations, and quirks, I connect most deeply with other people -- and also, I'm best able to convey my conclusions about happiness. Hearing about my efforts to be happier is an effective way for people to think about the steps they might take, in their own lives. 

2. What does authenticity mean to you and how do you practice it in your work?

I have twelve Personal Commandments, and my first commandment is to "Be Gretchen." The more my life reflects my nature, interests, and values, the happier I am. To be myself -- it sounds so simple and obvious! And yet, I struggle all the time to "Be Gretchen." I remind myself of things such as, "Just because something is fun for someone else doesn't mean it's fun for me -- and vice versa" and "I can choose what I DO, but I can't choose what I LIKE to do." These help me remember what's true for ME.

3. Is perfectionism an issue for you? If so, what's one of your strategies for managing it?

I remind myself, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." (Cribbed from Voltaire.) A twenty-minute walk that I do is better than the four-mile run that I don't do. The imperfect book that gets published is better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer. The dinner party of take-out Chinese food is better than the elegant dinner that I never host.

4. What inspires you? Reading. Reading, reading, reading.

5. What's something that gets in the way of your creativity and how do you move through it? 

When I feel myself dry up, I let myself read more, and at whim; I take notes without a purpose; I go through my old notes and files of favorite quotations. Also, I work every day, whether I feel creative or not. Discipline isn't the enemy of creativity, in my experience, but the wellspring.

6. Do you have a mantra or manifesto for living and loving with your whole heart?

I have several. "Be Gretchen." "The days are long, but the years are short." "It is not enough to love; we must prove it." "It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light." "Now is now."

Now, for some fun! 

From James Lipton, host of Inside the Actor's Studio 

1. What is your favorite word? Kumquat

2. What sound or noise do you love? The sound of a night thunderstorm.

3. What sound or noise do you hate? Weirdly, the sound of liquid being poured in a cup. 

From JL's Uncle Jessie Meme

1. Best show on television? Any show that my sister Liz Craft or brother-in-law Adam Fierro writes for or creates. 

2. If you could have anything put on a t-shirt what would it be? A bluebird (of happiness).

3. A talent you wish you had? Painting.

4. Dream vacation? Reading in bed!

5. What's on your nightstand? Books and a few empty soda cans.

6. What's something about you that would surprise us? I have a tattoo. No, really I don't. As I think about this, I realize that I'm surprisingly unsurprising. I hate sushi -- is that surprising?

From Smith Magazine's Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six Word Memoirs from Writers Famous and Obscure 

Your six-word memoir:  Days are long; years are short.

[image error]

Connecting with Gretchen:

Twitter    Facebook     Moments of Happiness Daily Quotations   Blog

Can't wait to read your happiness comments! Check back on Tuesday night for giveaway winners! 

courage is a heart word

If you've read The Gifts of Imperfection or I Thought It Was Just Me, you know that I love the history of the word courage. 

The root of the word courage is cor—the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." Over time, this definition has changed, and, today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic.

We certainly need heroes, but I think we've lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage.

Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. In today's world, that's pretty extraordinary.

In the September issue of Glamour Magazine, my good friend Jess Weiner is putting her vulnerability on the line in a big way. Her article on body acceptance, self-worth, and health is the best kind of truth-telling: It sparks critical thinking and passionate conversation.

It's taken me a very long time (years + a breakdown spiritual awakening) to figure out my own values and beliefs around health, self-love, and my body. Everyone has a different story and a different journey. I believe the greatest danger we face comes from reducing this struggle to one story, one politic, or one way of being right, politically correct, or self-confident. 

I hope you'll take a few minutes and read the article (here's the link). I'd love to know what you think! Respectful debate, although rare these days, is also an act of courage.  

Courage is a Heart Word

If you've read The Gifts of Imperfection or I Thought It Was Just Me, you know that I love the history of the word courage. 

The root of the word courage is cor—the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." Over time, this definition has changed, and, today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic.

We certainly need heroes, but I think we've lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage.

Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. In today's world, that's pretty extraordinary.

In the September issue of Glamour Magazine, my good friend Jess Weiner is putting her vulnerability on the line in a big way. Her article on body acceptance, self-worth, and health is the best kind of truth-telling: It sparks critical thinking and passionate conversation.

It's taken me a very long time (years + a breakdown spiritual awakening) to figure out my own values and beliefs around health, self-love, and my body. Everyone has a different story and a different journey. I believe the greatest danger we face comes from reducing this struggle to one story, one politic, or one way of being right, politically correct, or self-confident. 

I hope you'll take a few minutes and read the article (here's the link). I'd love to know what you think! Respectful debate, although rare these days, is also an act of courage.  

A new look + a wholeheARTed giveaway!

I believe that there's a powerful relationship between design and intention. One of my favorite quotes about design is from Steve Jobs:

"Design is the fundamental soul of a man-made creation."

With the help of the wonderful folks at Ninjamatics, I've changed the blog and website design to match my intentions for the new academic year - more white space, more clarity, and increased simplicity through mindful integration. I'm a messy, complex person with lots of roles. Simplicity is key. 

I hope you like the new look and I especially hope you feel invited to jump in and look around. We're still working on a few of the pages. They should be done by mid-August.

And . . . speaking of design . . . I have a great story for you!

I've officially converted both of my sisters to Pinterest junkies. They love/hate me for it.  

They emailed me a link last week along with a note that said, "You have to have this for your playroom!" It was this really amazing sign from Barn Owl Primitives:

[image error]

I thought it was great and I ordered it.

Two seconds later I get an email that said, "Just got your order! I love your work!  I have your books! I sent your TED talk to all of my friends! You inspired my latest sign!"

As you can imagine, I absolutely flipped when I saw it! It's art meets The Gifts of Imperfection!  CHECK it OUT!

[image error]

After several really mushy emails, Kristi and I decided that we needed to give away one of these amazing pieces to an Ordinary Courage reader!

All you have to do to win is leave your name in the comments section and tell us your very favorite word from Kristi's Be Real sign. We'll pick a winner on Monday! 

Before you go - please meet Kristi of Barn Owl Primitives! I asked her to introduce herself to our community and here's what she wrote:

"I am a mom to two beautiful, energetic and charismatic young kids!I am a wife to one husband, because,let's be honest, one is quite enough!! ;) I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a neighbor and a friend! And when the rest of my world goes to sleep, I am a painter!!   

I enjoy laying out all the letters, creating a picture, and telling a story. Have a story that you would like to share? Let me paint a sign for you so you can share your story with the world...or at least with your friends that visit your kitchen!"

Kristi's Etsy shop, Barn Owl Primitives is here! The direct link to the Wholehearted sign is here. 

Can't wait to see your words! 

i'll be back!

[image error]

I'll be back the first week of August! I'm taking some time off and I'm doing one of my very favorite things: teaching!  Hope you're having a wonderful summer!

courage, connection and a sabbatical

Courage

I'm thrilled to be partnering again with global activist Jen Lemen, CEO of Hopeful World Publishing, to offer the Ordinary Courage eCourse: Lessons in Love, Shame and Worthiness. 

We had such a powerful experience in our spring class that we're offering a summer course. Join us as we explore how shame operates in our lives and how we cultivate shame resilience so that we can fully engage with the world from a place of worthiness; a place where we know that we are enough and that we are worthy of love and belonging.

The course starts on Monday, 7/11/11, and ends on 8/19/11. There will be weekly reading assignments from I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't)  and "watching" assignments from The Hustle for Worthiness DVD.  There will also be weekly audio conversations, creativity activities, and journal exercises. You are welcome to stay on the 6-week schedule or make your way through the material at your own pace. There are no "real time" activities. 

For more information and to register, check out the Hopeful World website. See you in class! 

Connection 

[image error]

You've asked and we're answering! We're offering a 3-day training for professionals who want to facilitate the Connections Curriculum with clients. 

The Connections Curriculum (Hazelden) draws on empirically based strategies to help clients recognize shame as a universal experience and embrace authenticity, worthiness, and courage as foundations for shame resilience and Wholehearted Living. 

For more information on registration and CEUs/CCEUs for LPCs, LCSWs, LMSWs, LCDCs, LMFTs and Coaching Professionals, click here.  Seating is limited.

 

Sabbatical 

[image error]

I'm taking a blogging sabbatical for the month of July. I'm going to spend the month writing, playing, teaching, and redesigning the blog! I'll be back online the first week of August - right in time for Blogher 2011 in San Diego! It's my first Blogher conference and I can't wait. I'm sitting on a panel with Shauna James Ahern, Mr. Lady, and Gretchen Rubin. Hope to see you there! 

Have a wonderful July! 

hello sunshine

My dear friend Ali Edwards told me about this video and it really spoke to me. 

Like Ali, Steve and I were both swimmers. In fact, we met coaching swimming and life guarding. Even though that was 24 years ago, we still live in the pool during the summer. We both have familiy histories of skin cancer so we're very careful about sun protection and we're trying to teach our kids good habits. 

I hope you'll take a look at this powerful video and share it with someone you love - especially a teen or tween.