L.T. Marshall's Blog, page 32
February 7, 2019
Bullying in the Book Community!
I am saddened that I feel compelled to write this article but the events of the last few days have really left a sour taste in my mouth.
It would seem that doing or believing anything different to the hoards nowadays see’s you targeted by mob mentality and the level of petty underhanded behaviour that follows is quite simply playground bullying.
Now do not get me wrong, I have been part of the blog and book community for a couple of years now and the vast majority are fabulous, caring, supportive people who will swoop in and defend fellow authors if they feel it is warranted. They are still a very large part of the community and this blog is in no way directed at them. Those are the embracer’s of the spirit and are also appalled when they see things like that which I am about to describe. Sadly though, all too often when they see drama like this develop they fear they too will be targeted so stay silent.
I am one of those idiots who never know when to shut up though, so …..
Let me take you back to a few days ago, a very popular thread on twitter was shared by a third party to promote a discussion on writing novels. I often see them and join in, especially if I have a different viewpoint and love the intelligent debates that often go with it. I have made many new friends on these threads and respect them all.
I commented, as I do, putting my opinion on an aspect I actually use in my books and was abruptly retweeted by the original poster of the thread. It was a move to highlight my comment for backlash – there was no other reason for it other than that.
Now that’s all very well, I disagreed, they were not happy and they acted in a passive aggressive way to to show me they were annoyed. Fair enough, but by retweeting me and others before me they were deliberately setting us up to be focused on and attacked. That’s what happened.
I am a big girl and as long as the debate is mature, constructive then I am all about opening my mind to other perspectives. I enjoy learning from other writers and chatting about techniques. This was not that ….instead they stooped to name calling, ripping apart my website, amazon bio and such and aiming insults at me. Not one of them however actually debated the topic of which my comment was about.
Not once.
I was told I should bow down to the advice, as this person was the ‘best’. I was called ignorant and stupid and ‘good luck being lonely in book exile’ for simply disagreeing. They even went as far as trolling all my sites to find things to mock and post on my twitter directly to me. They used names such as Dick, Twit, and other equally vile insults, also repeatedly referring to me as a male and accusing me of ‘mansplaining’. Ridiculous.
It was personal, fuelled by someone they followed like minions, and I ended up blocking several profiles that night. I have been told the drama continued to next day when others who defended me were also targeted the same way in very much of a – ‘I have more followers so I can do more damage.’ It’s disgusting. It’s a misuse of influence in the most negative way and adds to the poison that is warping parts of this community. You should use your influence for good, not to tear apart fellow authors for writing in their own way, and still succeeding by the way……. just thought I would point that out LOL.
Well I brushed it off, looked at the whole thing as something amusing, to be ignored and I got on with my life. Past in the past and I will never do the same.
That was until last night …I happened upon a post in which a blogger was being shamed for her photography methods. I defended the use of photography props, tried to explain the art behind scene setting and then left it alone feeling a good discussion was had. I did feel sorry for the girl but it was on the face, just an opinion and a debate. Nothing on the public post was overly nasty besides trying to shame her methods.
Then I scrolled my feed and found whole threads within blog support groups all about it.
This is where my blood ran to a boil and my temper exploded to the point I actually could not type. This poor innocent girl, who had merely shared her methods on scene setting was being abused and targeted by what I can only describe as a ‘witch hunt’
Name calling, trolling her, screenshots of her media and laughing at the fact she was blocking abuser insults, and once again – that mob mentality ripping down a human for doing something different. Grown women stalking her twitter until she had to make her account private.
When is this ever okay? What in the hell is wrong with these people?
As a fellow author said to me, ‘Shark frenzy’ and it sums it up perfectly. That mob mentality of joining the drama and being fueled on the hilarity of it, while at the same time trying to destroy another human being.
Well here is news for you who were involved, a huge portion of us are appalled and have discussed the vileness of the act in our own private chats. Except we didn’t name you, troll you or post your media anywhere. We disassociated with the post, shook our heads and felt sad that our beloved community has so much toxic in it. The worst part was these threads were in support groups for bloggers and writers. The many, many silent browsers of these groups judged all of you on what we read, yet no one said it to you for fear of an attack.
That is NEVER okay.
It makes me sad and sick that this still happens in our community and so many stay silent for fear of the backlash. That’s how it works, you either join in and become part of the ‘tribe’ or you stay silent so as not to be targeted.
I have been someone who speaks out many times, I have been the person targeted many times. I will continue to voice my dislike when it comes to this sort of behaviour. We are not children anymore and lives can be ruined. To do that to another human says so much about you and I feel sorry for you too.
When your entertainment comes at the expense of another human – that is always bullying.
If any of them had ever experienced what it’s like to be on that side of the fence then it appalls me even more they would then participate.
I encouraged all my Fans and followers to go show the girl some love – We used the hashtag #CarreroMafia to show she has support in the community. My readers, much like me are anti bullying in all forms and were equally appalled at this behaviour. It’s our community too, stand up and stomp this crap out.
We are not all like that and do not tolerate bullying in any form. Reclaim the love.
Stand up and make our community better.
Go show the kid some love, use our hashtag if you like. Her Instagram is beautiful, she has real talent and I will continue to follow her images.
https://www.facebook.com/Soph-is-blogging-251155298862163/
February 5, 2019
Free for 5 Days – Just Rose
Get the book >>>> http://mybook.to/JustRoseLTMarshall
Blurb-
The unexpected death of Rose’s beloved aunt ends up being a driving force in her uneventful life. She gives up her lonely, unfulfilled big city existence for the country home and life from cherished childhood memories.
But can it live up to them?
All she wants is to find her place in the world; the happiness and independence she has been searching for. With her little dog Muffin by her side and a much needed new friend, it does seem possible – until an encounter with the handsome local Laird of the Munro Estate sends her spiralling from young professional woman to hormonal bundle of goo.
Their chemistry is undeniable, but with him not seemingly on the market, this might not be the place for her after all.
Thrust into the world of country living, will Rose ever find true love?
In this roller coaster of emotions and a whole lot of country charm, one thing is for sure: Rose is certainly not going to be bored anymore!
[image error]
February 3, 2019
Winners of the January Magazine Giveaway
This is just an update to inform the winners from last month they have won paper copies of Issue 1 of the magazine.
All winners please contact me via my Facebook page – https://www.facebook.com/LTMarshallauthor/
[image error]
February 2, 2019
Complete Your Carrero Planner
Today we uploaded all the files and some extra pages for the entire 2019 Carrero planner and made it a permapage. That way you can come on anytime and print the next month, rather than printing them all in one go.
Just check the bar at the top of the page (the header) and you will see it’s now a permanent feature.
Or you can just click here – Planner PDF’s
I will be making a video for my YouTube on how we here at Carrero HQ assembled ours as we are using it to keep track of important dates.
[image error]
If you have any suggestions for extra pages then let us know!! Comment below.
February 1, 2019
January 31, 2019
Making a weighted sensory blanket for my son.
If you follow me on Facebook you will see that I posted pictures of my sons blanket after I finished constructing it. I was skeptical that it would work out quite so well but figured I had nothing much to lose. For a fraction of the costs of buying one online I was able to make my son a sensory aid in a theme he chose and now he absolutely loves it.
[image error]
What are weighted blankets?
https://harkla.co/blogs/special-needs/weighted-blanket-benefits tells you all you need to know but to summarise –
‘ Increased Relaxation Due to Deep Touch Pressure. The underlying science on weighted blankets is called deep touch pressure (DTP). DTP is about gently applying pressure to the body to increase the release of serotonin. Serotonin is a chemical in the body that promotes relaxation. ‘
My son has sensory issues and sleep problems so I find that pressure is something that works with him. It helps him feel less anxious, sleeps better and can even alleviate pain he gets from his legs.
Did it work?
Night one with Zacks weighted blanket.
He fell asleep faster.
He was less restless to the point I thought he was dead.
He slept through without waking.
His bed covers were still in the same position this morning as though he had not moved.
He woke with a smile and was easy to wake up.
He seemed so much more rested and calm.
He actually said he slept great and felt great.
Weight blanket 100 points and a gold star.
Now we are on night three and he also has been using it during the day when relaxing. I have seen a huge increase on his stillness and improved mood. It helps with his less intense leg pain from other issues he has.
How to make it
I searched eBay for my materials. I bought 3kg of poly pellets (you need 10% of your child’s weight to make a blanket but this includes the weight of your fabric.
I bought a Harry Potter blanket which was 1m by 1.5m and bought fleece in the same size as the reverse. i could have just bought two blankets.
That is all I needed.
Harry Potter blankets online were around £120 but my supplies were £30, a lot cheaper if I had gone for plain blankets.
I also only used half the pellets so would have saved myself about £6-7 by buying half.
Here’s how I did it
January 25, 2019
Free Carrero Planner pages – print and keep . Jan – Feb 2019
Here at Carrero HQ we are always looking for ways to feed the obsession and we do listen to your demands. We were asked if we could help with creating a planner and decided to offer some printables for all to use. Download the PDF files, print and put together in any way you see fit.
Front coverDownload
January pagesDownload
February pagesDownload
Carrero free books schedule – bonus pageDownload
Check back in February for a couple more months. We will try and get the whole year sorted and made up soon.
For ideas on how to make the planner then Youtube has many wonderful DIY tutorials on creating your own using printed pages. Or you can simply buy an A4 or A5 binder (whatever size you choose to print) and clip them all in there with the help of a hole punch. A lot of people resize them and make them fit into previously bought small planner folders.
If you want us to resize the files, drop an email to enquiries@ltmarshall.blog
[image error]Here at Carrero HQ we printed ours in A5 on sturdy paper card. We used black card as separators between the months and a back cover. Then we laminated the front, hole punched every page and used bakers twine as a means to keep them together. We will buy some binder rings for our future pages and use this beauty for all things Carrero related.
[image error]
January 19, 2019
Toxic Masculinity and the Gillette advert.
I am literally sick to death of seeing the outrage about this advert on social media. The idiotic posts from people who have no concept of why this is a good thing and completely misconstrue the message and see only masculinity under attack.
We live in a society where toxic masculinity is so ingrained that many fail to either see it, or understand what it actually is. I see outcry at the term as though somehow it means anything masculine is toxic and that is completely wrong. Masculinity is not under attack, Toxic masculinity is!!, and if you have no concept of what that even means, then how can you criticise it?
Toxic masculinity is the term associated with the social lessons we are taught in life, concerning what makes a male a ‘real man’. Both genders are influenced by this from birth and it does affect both sexes.
Boys wear blue, boys like only action figures and cars, boys are tough and don’t cry – it’s for sissies, boys push around girls they fancy. Boys should learn to take a punch
Sound familiar?
Men and women teach and uphold these ‘standards’ in our generations from a young age, and we do too, because it’s how we too were raised. A sort of yard stick to hold boys up against in what we expect for them to become as upstanding ‘real’ men. Women reciting the lists when creating fantasy men almost always fall into a stereotypical tick list of what we have been taught is the standard for MEN. We are equally guilty of continuing toxic masculinity in how we raise our sons. This way of teaching creates men with certain traits and beliefs, showing them what is normal male behaviour and can be harmful to not only women but men too..
Such as –
Shame, disassociation and avoidance of emotional expression. ( a huge problem among men and the root of many suicides and hidden mental health conditions)
Extreme self-reliance. (bottling up emotions, handling things alone, not sharing problems with loved ones and suffering from self induced mental isolation)
Extreme aspiration for physical, sexual and intellectual dominance. (Only alpha males and the most macho of men are seen as worship-able, right? it’s normal for men to be agressive)
Devaluation of women’s opinions, body and sense of self. (being egged on my your mates to get laid, cat call , feel up the waitress, sexist remarks, mansplaining etc )
Condemning anything feminine within another man. (That guy is a pansy, hits like a girl, walks like a girl, etc)
In it’s original meaning, the term ‘toxic masculinity’ is a way to gather and identify cultural and social traits which are the enemy of men, not just women. They have so many damaging effects if a male cannot live up to what is expected.
It is not an attack on men. It’s a phrase that has existed (first coined by a MAN) since the 80’s to highlight the pressure we put upon males to conform and in turn these traits create so many issues in society. It condemns harmful traits…not men.
Gillette put across the message very well, very clearly. They didn’t just show men as bad, behaving terribly, they showed a lot of men already stepping up to make changes in our society. Recognising the issues and taking a stand. They showed ‘real’ men defending women, stopping boys being taught to solve disputes with their fists, bullying, harassment. All things which are a product of toxic masculinity.
Men are not being attacked for being masculine, the advert was merely asking them to pay attention and make a change. To reset the standards of what a real man should be – the best a man can be.
It’s 2019 isn’t it about time we throw off our archaic standards and faulty yard sticks and show men that they can be any damn thing they want to be. That being a real man is not about meeting a criteria and adhering to societal pressure to measure up.
Real men feel; they share, they stand up for women and they are comfortable enough in their own skin to show us emotion and tears. To share their problems and responsibility. To respect women. To accept men who are different. Real men can still be macho and strong and dominant. That is not Toxic masculinity. It’s what you do with your masculinity that defines it.
If you see the advert as only an attack, then you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why.
January 16, 2019
The subtleties of Carrero
Often I am asked by avid readers and fans about certain aspects of my books, and I think it’s time I shared in one post, answers to all of these things.
Are there characters with mental disorders? I was sure I picked up on traits with a few of them, but as nothing was said, I assumed not.
Yes. There are multiple characters through all of the books who have their own issues. One is a high functioning Asperger’s female. We have a character with ADHD and another with OCD. We also have high anxiety in another, yet I have chosen not to use any pointers or labels for these characters for a couple of reasons. Later you meet someone with depression.
Many adults only find out late in life they have some of these things, in the case of my characters it is true for one or two. Sometimes…
View original post 984 more words
January 9, 2019
Win a paper copy of our magazine!
We have ten paper copies of the fan magazine up for grabs. Issue one which features Jake and Emma and has a bonus excerpt from Jake’s POV. 10 lucky winners.
All you have to do is go to the Facebook post to enter – https://www.facebook.com/LTMarshallauthor/photos/a.333313417015096/794043227608777/?type=3&theater
This is in no way endorsed by Facebook and is being run from my website right here.
You can find the terms and conditions here. Click me
They apply to this competition.
Closes last day of January 2019 at midnight. Winners announced in a February blog post which will be shared here.
You must be over 18 to enter and this is international.
I will use a comments generator to pick random winners. You can tag more than one friend in separate comments to enter more than once (putting them as one comment lessons your chances when I use a generator.) You can only win one copy though so if your name comes up twice then I will reshuffle for a new winner after you have won one copy.
Good luck everyone.
If you do not win, do not fear. Visit my header menu for the link to the free online version of the magazine. Issue two will be out this month.
#ClubCarrero
[image error]
