456 ratings | 86 reviews | avg rating:3.93

Garrett Cook’s Followers (242)

Garrett Cook’s Bookshelves

to-read (43)
currently-reading (6)
read (457)
to-never-read (0)

Garrett Cook’s Friends (1,985)

John Everson

54 books | 1,788 friends

Heather

1,618 books | 285 friends

William Oarlock

3,092 books | 491 friends

Sam

766 books | 278 friends

Danger

979 books | 3,629 friends

Steven

31,087 books | 815 friends

Douglas Hackle

528 books | 1,202 friends

2,318 books | 72 friends

More friends…

Garrett Cook

Goodreads Author

Born

in Wenham, MA, The United States

Died

April 17, 1936

Website

http://chainsawnoir.wordpress.com

Genre

Horror, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Literature & Fiction

Influences

Burroughs, Kafka, Mc Cammon, King, Joyce, Fitzgerald, Harlan Ellison, ...more

Member Since

June 2008

edit data

Winner 1st Annual Ultimate Bizarro Showdown!

Garrett Cook was born in Wenham, Massachusetts July 19th, 1982. There are other details, but they're depressing or banal, with the exception of his haunted birthplace, his struggle with bipolar and a brief, unfortunate cancer scare. Yawn. Garrett Cook's work is far more interesting. He examines crises of faith and conscience through a pulpy,surreal or magorealistic lens to create magical, paranoid worlds that he hopes will entertain, antagonize and endear you. His books Murderland part 1:h8, Murderland 2:Life During Wartime and Archelon Ranch and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective are available on Amazon. He is one of the creators and editors of the magazine Imperial Youth Review.

What people are sa Winner 1st Annual Ultimate Bizarro Showdown!

Garrett Cook was born in Wenham, Massachusetts July 19th, 1982. There are other details, but they're depressing or banal, with the exception of his haunted birthplace, his struggle with bipolar and a brief, unfortunate cancer scare. Yawn. Garrett Cook's work is far more interesting. He examines crises of faith and conscience through a pulpy,surreal or magorealistic lens to create magical, paranoid worlds that he hopes will entertain, antagonize and endear you. His books Murderland part 1:h8, Murderland 2:Life During Wartime and Archelon Ranch and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective are available on Amazon. He is one of the creators and editors of the magazine Imperial Youth Review.

What people are saying about Murderland Part 1: H8

"Perhaps he’s right. Perhaps that meat cleaver is our best hope for salvation. Or maybe he belongs in an asylum. MURDERLAND is a brutally shocking book. Demented. Logical. Disturbing. It can be crudely powerful one moment, tenderly skillful the next, so the reader never knows what’s coming. There’s no way to prepare. No way to protect yourself. Garrett Cook’s work has an edge … and it’s at your throat."-
Robert Dunbar, author of The Shore and Martyrs and Monsters

"The offbeat brilliance of this book will freak your face off-"
Gina Ranalli, author of Mother Puncher, Sky Tongues and House of Fallen Leaves

"I have not read a debut novel this good in a long time (or as far as I could remember)"- Jordan Krall, author of Piecemeal June and Squidpulp Blues

"An intense, satirical and above all entertaining read"- Andersen Prunty, author of Zerostrata and the Overwhelming Urge

"A savage, very original satire that openly mocks the American demigod-like worship of worthless celebrity with a future where despicable murderers become our new focus of adoration. It's as farcical as Swift's "A Modest Proposal," yet no less poignant."-
bravenewworks.com

"Action! Explosions! Hot broads! Garrett Cook is two-fisted Bizarro pulp. I love his stories"-
Jeff Burk, author of SHATNERQUAKE ...more

13 posts
Garrett Cook's Blog

Learn the Deadly Art of Bizarro!

Are you interested in learning how to think in a Bizarro mindset? Are you interested in learning how to avoid genre cliches? Do you want to shock your friends, repulse your mother and repulse tattooed and kinky members of the opposite sex with your throbbing imagination? Well, you can. Me and Wonderland Award Winning novelist J. David Osborne are teaching an online Bizarro writing course in April. Read more of this blog post »

8 likes · Like • 2 comments • flag

Published on February 04, 2013 14:24 • Tags: bizarro, j-david-osborne, jimmy-plush, low-down-death-right-easy, wonderland-award, writing

View all 13 posts »

Combine Editions
Garrett Cook’s books

Average rating: 3.79 · 2,183 ratings · 590 reviews · 60 distinct works • Similar authors

	A God of Hungry Walls 3.17 avg rating — 457 ratings — published 2015 — 7 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Archelon Ranch 4.20 avg rating — 95 ratings — published 2009 — 5 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective 3.66 avg rating — 107 ratings — published 2011 — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Time Pimp 3.75 avg rating — 69 ratings — published 2013 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Murderland Part 1:h8 4.03 avg rating — 62 ratings — published 2008	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Murderland 3.55 avg rating — 58 ratings — published 2013 — 4 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Charcoal 4.37 avg rating — 27 ratings — 4 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Murderland II: Life During Wartime 4.32 avg rating — 19 ratings — published 2009	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	50 Secret Tales of the Whispering Gash: A Queefrotica by Garrett Cook (Goodreads Author), Christy Leigh Stewart (Goodreads Author), Jason Wayne Allen (Goodreads Author) 4.33 avg rating — 18 ratings — published 2013 — 3 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
	Crisis Boy 3.85 avg rating — 20 ratings — published 2018 — 2 editions	Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

More books by Garrett Cook…

Garrett Cook is Currently Reading

Garrett Cook is currently reading

Weird Realism: Lovecraft and Philosophy

by Graham Harman

bookshelves: currently-reading

Rate this book

Clear rating

1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

Mar 25, 2013 02:33PM

Garrett Cook rated a book it was amazing

Die You Doughnut Bastards

by Cameron Pierce (Goodreads Author)

bookshelves: currently-reading

Rate this book

Clear rating

1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

Mar 10, 2013 09:36AM

Garrett Cook is currently reading

Long-Form Religious Porn

by Laura Lee Bahr (Goodreads Author)

bookshelves: currently-reading

Rate this book

Clear rating

1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

Mar 22, 2016 02:22AM

Quotes by Garrett Cook (?)

“If Mykle Hansen needed to eat puppies for breakfast to be himself, he would rap the table and scream "waiter, more puppy sauce!”
― Garrett Cook

6 likes

“He lost her and all that he had to do to lose her was to be himself.”
― Garrett Cook, A God of Hungry Walls

0 likes

Polls

Who shall be our March Author of the Month? Supposing I can wrangle them in to this whole thing in the first place, that is. Oh, and feel free to write in other choices!

Violet LeVoit

4 votes 40.0%

Adam Cesare

2 votes 20.0%

Jeff O'Brien

2 votes 20.0%

M. T. Granberry

1 vote 10.0%

Wol-vriey (write-in)

1 vote 10.0%

Kevin L. Donihe

0 votes 0.0%

Garrett Cook

0 votes 0.0%

10 total votes

1 comment

More...

Topics Mentioning This Author

topics	posts	views	last activity
The Magnificent S...: Garrett Cook interviews James Steele	7	28	Jun 27, 2011 05:29PM
The Magnificent S...: Some people seem to think I'm not normal.	16	33	Jun 28, 2011 12:24AM
The Perks Of Bein...: Team Neptune	1292	423	May 03, 2018 04:50AM
Horror Aficionados : Pseudopod for your short horror fiction needs!	138	289	Jul 15, 2019 10:53AM
Horror Aficionados : Pseudopod	508	1101	Jul 15, 2019 10:58AM

More…

Garrett Cook’s Quotes

“I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how much ransom money could I get for each one?”
― Jarod Kintz

1584 likes

“If you're gonna burn a bridge behind you, make sure you've crossed it first.”
― Quentin R. Bufogle

tags: life, philosophy, wisdom

211 likes

Garrett Cook’s Friend Comments

Comments (showing 1-24) post a comment »

date

newest »

message 24: by Garrett Cook

Feb 11, 2010 11:28AM

Great! Can't wait to hear what you think!

reply | flag

message 23: by Jason

Feb 11, 2010 11:18AM

You have the perfect number of friends! Just got Murderland 2 the other day...looking forward to cracking that puppy open!

reply | flag

message 22: by Christy

Feb 10, 2010 08:11PM

You take the fun out of kicking your ass...but it WILL be kicked.

reply | flag

message 21: by Garrett Cook

Feb 10, 2010 05:55PM

By not putting most of the books I read on my shelf. And I'm sure you will beat me because this situation indicates a certain degree of indolence on my part. An indolence I am not sure I have the time or the energy to rectify. In fact, this post makes me sort of sleepy.

reply | flag

message 20: by Christy

Feb 10, 2010 05:24PM

You jag-off, how did you get more friends than you have books on your bookshelf?

I'm going to beat you.

reply | flag

message 19: by Garrett Cook

Dec 28, 2009 10:32AM

Stephen wrote: "good luck on your book, Garret. mixed genre writing facinates me. that whole post-modern thing going past post into..."

Thanks! Genre is a tough thing. It's petty and enormously relevant at the same time. I just use the tools I need for my work and I encourage anybody to do the same. If you can try to make your work visceral or fun as well as smart, people deserve that.

reply | flag

message 18: by Stephen

Dec 28, 2009 02:58AM

good luck on your book, Garret. mixed genre writing facinates me. that whole post-modern thing going past post into...

reply | flag

message 17: by Garrett Cook

Nov 27, 2009 08:20PM

Thanks, Christy! The book is a hard sell, indescribable plot that it has and all.

reply | flag

message 16: by Christy

Nov 27, 2009 08:04PM

I saw the promotion for Archelon Ranch in the 2nd Bizarro magazine, good job and good luck!

reply | flag

message 15: by Mahsaa

Sep 30, 2009 01:12AM

[image error]
imany yearrs ago there w 2 empire in all wrold persian empire(iran) and roman empire(italy)
Rock-face relief at Naqsh-e Rustam of Iranian emperor Shapur I (on horseback) capturing Roman emperor Valerian (kneeling) and Philip the Arab (standing)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/persian_...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/iran

reply | flag

message 14: by Anna

Sep 13, 2009 09:57AM

Greetings from the far north of the Alaskan wilderness.

reply | flag

message 13: by Barry

Jul 02, 2009 06:38PM

Ha! I love your profile. Check out my profile and blog, and let me know what you think. http://livingwithdialaysis.blogspot.com/

reply | flag

message 12: by Garrett Cook

Feb 20, 2009 02:30PM

It's the only show that dared reveal that there were rakshasas among us.

reply | flag

message 11: by Garrett Cook

Feb 06, 2009 06:20AM

Jesika wrote: "I found that out- I got your book from Amazon. For some reason it would be funnier if your book was the first in the "humorous cookbooks" and Amy Sedaris' "I Like You" was second."

I've gotta read that some time. She was really funny on Strangers with Candy.

reply | flag

message 10: by Garrett Cook

Feb 05, 2009 07:10PM

Jesika wrote: "When I typed "Murderland Part 1" into my library's catalog search the first book that came up was "Life is a Fulfilling: The story of a Mormon pioneering woman." I think the Tucson Public Library ..."

Unfortunately, my book is not in libraries on this planet. It's available on Amazon, on back order at most book stores or through me. But, in a similar weird vein to your search results, on account of my last name, my book has been rated one of Amazon's top humorous cookbooks on three occasions.

reply | flag

message 9: by William

Dec 21, 2008 04:26PM