Exponent II's Blog, page 99

Sacred Music Sunday: What a Friend we Have in Jesus

This weekend is Stake Conference in my stake, and the theme is 2 Nephi 33:6 “I glory in plainness; I glory in truth; I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell.” Last night at the adult session of conference, a stake member performed an a capella version of What a Friend We Have in Jesus. I’ve always loved this hymn, and I wish it were in our hymnal. Often we talk about the majesty of God, but we forget that Jesus is supposed to be our friend. When telling His disciples about the impending atonement, He described it as laying down his life for his friends. See John 15:13.

wooden cross, Jesus, symbol

What does it mean for Jesus to be a friend? I think it means we need to communicate with Him and be there for the important things. We do a great job of celebrating His birthday, having a month or so of parties. But do we take the time to think about Him on a regular basis? That’s what friends do.

The God Who Gives Us Beauty

Come Follow Me: September 26–October 2 ~ Isaiah 50–57

This lesson plan is written for you to use in a class or at home. If you use it at home, I suggest just taking various segments a day at a time and discussing them as a family or on your own in your journal (my family usually does a segment a night over the dinner table). Don’t try to do the full lesson at once – it’s meant to be taken in smaller chunks. If you use it for a class at church, I suggest just choosing a segment or two to focus on during the lesson.

Photo by Sean Oulashin on Unsplash

Introduction

In 2007 I was a visiting student at BYU-Hawaii. Early one Sunday morning I went to the nearly empty beach with my journal and sat down to write. I looked out at the beauty of the waves and the clouds and the sounds and the smells. And in that moment, I knew God loves me. Nothing remarkable happened. No piercing voice, no ginormous self-discovery. I just felt that God loves me. 

In that moment, I started thinking about what I’d been taught about the Plan of Salvation with the diagrams in Sunday School on the chalk board and realized that it would have all worked just fine with an ugly earth. But God chose to make the earth beautiful because of love. 

[If teaching a class, perhaps you have felt similarly when surrounded by God’s creations and could share a similar story of feeling his love in nature] 

I’ve recently been reading Terryl and Fiona Givens’s book The God Who Weeps and they reiterate this idea that came to me all those years ago much more eloquently. They say:

“Darwin was sure that even those spectacles of nature that overwhelm us by their beauty, from the peacock’s tail to the fragrance of an English rose, serve not man’s purpose but their own, which is survival and reproducibility … In other words, maple leaves in autumn do not suddenly transform into stained glass pendants , illuminated by a setting sun, in order to satisfy a human longing for beauty. Their scarlet, ochre, and golden colors emerge as chlorophyll production shuts down, in preparation for sacrificing the leaves that are vulnerable to winter cold, and ensuring the survival of the tree. But the tree survives, while our vision is ravished. The peacock’s display attracts a hen, and it nourishes the human eye. The flower’s fragrance entices a pollinator, but it also intoxicates the gardener. In that “while,” in that “and,” in that “but it also,” we find the giftedness of life.

“Therein lies the most telling sign of a vast superabundance. Nature’s purposes and God’s purposes are not in competition but work in tandem. If the first works by blind necessity, the second works by generosity. And in recognizing that giftedness, we turn from appreciation to gratitude, from admiration for the world’s efficiency and order, to love of its beauty and grandeur.“

Segment 1: Isaiah 50

Twice in this chapter the words “The Lord God will help me” are repeated. The God who loves us, who created this beautiful world for us, will help us personally. 

Sister Maurine Jensen Proctor said in a BYU Women’s Conference: 

“The Lord offers us his solutions to all our questions, and he tells us, “I am more intelligent than they all” (Abraham 3:19). There is not a problem we can pose to him or a challenge so perplexing that he does not already have the answer. How can some of that light be shed into our own minds?

“The scriptures reveal a pattern for receiving enlightenment—and it is not one we usually talk about: Serious reflection precedes revelation.“

Questions for discussion or for your personal journal: 

When have you felt God helping you? Has this ever been unexpected? Has it required serious reflection?Is God helping you the same as personal revelation? Or are they different? How so? What are you seeking God’s help in now? What does God’s help in your life teach you about the love of God? How does God’s help add beauty to your life?

Segment 2: Isaiah 52:9

9 Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem: for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem.

Questions for discussion or your personal journal:

Let’s take a moment to focus on singing together. In July of 2018 the Tabernacle Choir sang with the Gay Men’s Chorus (read about that here). It was one tiny moment where the church as an institution was willing to put some beliefs aside in order to unite and praise God. Let’s do that more often! How can we “sing together” with people from all walks of life more often? (and I’m not just talking about singing exactly, but any type of communing together)How does receiving God’s comfort add beauty to your life? What does it teach you about the love of God?

Segment 3: Isaiah 53:3-5

3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

It is this rejection and pain he felt that allowed him to develop empathy. As Terryl and Fiona Givens put it

“Christ’s empathy then is not some inherent attitude of the Divine. It was dearly paid for, each day of His mortal life, filled as it was with all the trauma an uncomprehending world could inflict on perfect innocence. He knew the physical rigors of hunger and thirst, and the emotional deserts of loneliness and rejection.“

Questions for discussion or your journal:

Christ has perfect empathy for us. Why does that matter to you on a personal level?How do His wounds, His bruises, His chastisement, and His stripes teach us about His love? How does that add beauty to your life?

Segment 4: Isaiah 54:13

13 And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

In a blogpost on the church’s website, Sister Morgan Young wrote: 

“Consider times when people came to Jesus in great distress and He responded with words such as “Peace, be still” or “Be not afraid, only believe” (Mark 4:39; Mark 5:36). These calm responses don’t mean Jesus never felt troubled, sorrowful, or anguished—or that we won’t either. With His understanding of the plan of salvation and complete trust in His Father’s will, He was able to endure all things and overcome so He might be able to succor us in all things. As He said: “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).“

Questions for discussion or for your personal journal:

How does peace fit in even when we feel troubled, sorrowful or anguished? How can Christ’s vulnerability help us feel peace? How can we feel peace through our own vulnerability?A lot of people grow up in the church and end up not feeling peace within the church walls due to the racism and sexism they experience within the church culture. But the gospel is supposed to bring peace! How can we do a better job of teaching the gospel of peace (rather than a dogma of division)? 

Segment 5: Isaiah 55:10-12

10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

12 For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

This section brings the beauty of the world and the beauty of the word together in a beautiful simile. God wants us to find peace in the word just as he allows creation to bloom. Questions to discuss or ponder or write in your journal about:

How does believing that God wants us to find peace impact your life? How does it bring your life beauty? What does it show about God’s love?

Enduring to the End: What Does It Mean?

One of the most sacred commandments in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is to “endure to the end.” This directive appears explicitly in our canonized Scriptures at least 18 times (Matthew 10:22; Mark 13:13; 1 Nephi 13:37; 1 Nephi 22:31; 2 Nephi 9:24; 2 Nephi 31:15; 2 Nephi 31:20; 2 Nephi 33:9; 3 Nephi 15:9; 3 Nephi 27:6; 3 Nephi 27:16; Alma 5:13; Alma 38:2; Moroni 3:3; Moroni 8:3; D&C 10:69; D&C 14:7; D&C 20:29) and even more if you count indirect references. But do we know exactly what it means to endure to the end?

I think it’s telling that enduring to the end is only referenced twice in the New Testament and many more times in the Book of Mormon and Doctrine & Covenants. Our concern with enduring to the end has increased in the latter days over time and distance from being able to directly receive the teachings of Jesus Himself. I have always understood enduring to the end to mean two things: (1) continuing to the best of our ability to go on living despite life’s hardships and (2) staying true to our faith and the sincere beliefs that we have despite the trials we’ll experience as a result.

Both New Testament references to enduring to the end seem to address the latter point clearly. In Matthew 10:22, Jesus tells the Apostles after a list of abuses they will endure at the hands of men for their faithful obedience to God: “And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.” “Endureth” is a holy recognition of the sacrifices these disciples are being asked to make in order to further God’s work on Earth. It is not easy to be hated, especially to be hated by those in power who can abuse, torture, and even kill you and your loved ones. But the Scriptures provide us with many examples of those who endured anyway and blessed entire civilizations and peoples through their ministry.

As for the former interpretation, that has always been my personal understanding given the most plain and simple reading of so many Latter-day Scriptures on the subject. I want to emphasize here that we should not blame or judge someone else for committing or attempting suicide or pursuing actions designed to shorten their life. The Church instructs us that “a person who [takes their own life] may not be responsible for his or her actions. Only God can fully understand and judge the situation.” Only God knows their circumstances, their mental state, their pain and suffering, their environment, and their heart.

I would never want my personal belief in enduring to the end to be used as a cudgel against people who are already immensely hurting to call them sinful or wrong. Enduring to the end is a personal matter. The only way I believe this part of the commandment applies to others is that we have a duty to bear up one another’s burdens (Galations 6:2; Mosiah 18:8-9) and do whatever we can do to help others endure instead of becoming yet another part of their life they have to endure.

I learned recently that many understand “enduring to the end” to mean never wavering from full, active membership and participation in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’ll admit that because I am an adult convert who did not grow up in the Church this definition never occurred to me, but it’s possible it’s what many others have been taught. And there are some Scriptures that seem to carry related meaning, such as Alma 38:2: “…I hope that you will continue in keeping his commandments; for blessed is he that endureth to the end.” The juxtaposition of those two ideas implies that enduring to the end means keeping the commandments. I believe this is a heavier and broader emphasis on obeying than the New Testament verses, which highlighted serving as a witness of the Lord specifically. In line with this interpretation, the Church’s Guide to the Scriptures defines “endure” as “To remain firm in a commitment to be true to the commandments of God despite temptation, opposition, and adversity.”

But other parts of the Latter-day Saint canon do not deviate much from Matthew and Mark. D&C 20:29 reads: “And we know that all men must repent and believe on the name of Jesus Christ, and worship the Father in his name, and endure in faith on his name to the end, or they cannot be saved in the kingdom of God.” This strikes me as a more detailed version of the New Testament verses, but it maintains the same spirit of the text. We must endure in faith on the name of Jesus Christ, but it says nothing about adherence to the Word of Wisdom or Temple attendance or tithing or other things that many now associate with enduring to the end.

In Moroni 3:3, ordination includes: “In the name of Jesus Christ I ordain you to be a priest (or if he be a teacher, I ordain you to be a teacher) to preach repentance and remission of sins through Jesus Christ, by the endurance of faith on his name to the end. Amen.” Here is yet another addition to our understanding of enduring to the end: by enduring with faith on the name of Jesus Christ to the end, we can access the power of repentance and remission of sins. Because repentance is not a one-time event but a necessarily ongoing process (after all, as imperfect beings we cannot help but continue to sin), it makes perfect sense to me that we must endure in faith to the end so we can repent until the end. Otherwise, we’re not accessing the full power of the Atonement and the blessings that come from continuing spiritual progression.

In my view, enduring to the end is a complex commandment with the space to hold multiple meanings and interpretations. It speaks to ideals such as long-term commitment and a willingness to do the harder right instead of take the easy way out – principles that are fundamentally opposed to the fickle instincts of the natural man. I hope that even as my understanding of what it means to endure to the end evolves during my own spiritual progression that I will continually have the strength and resilience to endure hard things for what I believe. What does enduring to the end mean to you?

We Love Women as Bishops! (As Long As They Aren’t LDS Bishops)

Phyllis Spiegel is ordained as a Bishop and listens to prayer inside of the Capitol Theatre in Salt Lake City on Saturday, Sept. 17, 2022.

Last week a new Episcopalian bishop was ordained here in Utah, with full news coverage from various media outlets such as church-owned KSL:

The Episcopal Diocese of Utah welcomes new bishop at her ordination | KSL.com

I won’t pretend to understand exactly how the order of things work in the Episcopalian church, but I do know this is a pretty big deal (and much higher up in the church ranking wise than a bishop in an LDS ward). 

I visited a local Episcopalian church several years ago and talked to the women there about female ordination, which is something they don’t take for granted in Utah. I wrote about my experiences right HERE, and what the Episcopalian women had to say about visiting an LDS baptism and experiencing the shock of the male-only ordinances and complete exclusion of the mothers and all women from the event. To Episcopalian worshipers, it’s very foreign to see women not included in priesthood leadership. To Latter-day Saint worshipers, it’s completely normal and God approved.

The comments on the KSL news article about newly ordained Bishop Phyliss Spiegel’s ordination were exclusively positive, as seen below: 

I think it’s great that she’s here in my state, and I wish her all the best luck. I think of my Episcopalian friends I wrote about in the prior blog I linked to above, and I bet they’re thrilled. 

I also can’t help but think of comments I heard from people in my state when Ordain Women first came onto the scene almost a decade ago, and people far and wide balked at the idea of a woman being an LDS bishop (again, a much lower profile job in our church). Last month, I actually wrote a blog post about why I think women should be bishops right HERE, and the comments were also mostly all positive – but I think that was because of the generally progressive crowd reading and interacting with my ideas. I would not expect a similar reaction from a typically mainstream LDS group in Utah County, where I live. Instead, I’d expect comments like the ones I pulled off of social media from the year 2015, during heightened discussions about women’s roles in the LDS church and the possibility of women being ordained as priesthood leaders in the LDS church. Here are a few reactions to the mere idea of women acting as priesthood leaders (out of literally a million billion of them) I copied from old Facebook posts:

“Total apostasy. Complete ignorance of the plan of God.”

“I love women’s rights, but in this case, not under these circumstances.”

“I am sitting here literally stunned, stunned that any women could think that this is “OK”, or even a good idea. To feel this way, would confirm you are void of any understanding of the powers or purpose of the Priesthood.”

“When you start to question whether or not women should be allowed to hold it, for me, it’s like second-guessing whether God knows what he’s doing”

“Those women bring to mind the term “useful idiots”. The doctrine is clear and every church member should already have a good understanding of priesthood.”

“the literal meaning of the word Priest is now, always has been and always will be Father. Therefore Priesthood does equal Fatherhood does equal Motherhood. But to have two Priests in a home would be like two Captains on a ship.”

“I pray that this day (author’s note – this means women being ordained) will never come.”

“So where are the children in all of this? Both Mom and Dad serving in bishoprics, stake presidencies etc, working full time…Kids just get to raise themselves? It’s the kids that lose out in all of this… If I held the priesthood I wouldn’t be a better Mom, I would be a far worse one!!”

“you forget the church is directed by the creater himself, who is a man. The priesthood has always been given to men from the very beginning of time… “

“…can a lady be a good Priesthood holder? SURE!!! should she OF COURSE NOT!!! the scripture is clear on this issue and is Church policy.”

“When men quit doing what men are designed to do, and women quit doing what women are designed to do, all that can be left is a society of deviants. Let that sink in.”

“remember, priesthood is the power God uses in creating the universe, God, i mean heavenly father gave the power to His choosen men to act on behave of Him here on earth……. Never in the history of the world has there been a time where women where ordain or given the priesthood….”

“Will giving women the priesthood make things better? … Would leaving the man home with the kids, while the woman spends hours in the bishop office be an improvement?”

My husband has the priesthood , “that’s all I need” I don’t understand why women feel the need to be ordained? I can find no place in the bible where a women has given another women the priesthood ???

“If it was His will for women to hold the priesthood or participate in priesthood ordinances He would make it so.”

“There has been opposition in ALL things since the time of Adam & Eve. Eve, who, by the way did NOT receive the Priesthood when it was given to Adam- I’m guessing there was a reason for that.”

“Dumb women. Shut up and bake bread. And I’m a woman!!!!”

That’s probably more quotes about women as ordained priesthood leaders than I needed to make my point, but there were just so, so, sooooo many of these comments made. I didn’t include ones that were overly angry or insulting (except the last one, from a woman – about baking bread), or included profanity. People were SO MAD about the mere suggestion of women being ordained within the LDS tradition.

But when it’s a woman in a different religion who is ordained – everyone is fine with the scenario. Obviously it’s an impossible comparison, because I can’t get the same commenters from 2015 to give me their reaction at the time to an Episcopalian bishop in 2022, and maybe no Latter-day Saints were commenting on the KSL article that I posted. My realization was just that in general a woman being ordained to a priesthood role in most any other church doesn’t ignite much passion either way. There are some friendly congratulations and warm welcomes, and life goes on. But when we even TALK about an LDS woman being ordained to the priesthood, members of our church want to burn the entire city down. What makes something so easy for our community to accept in one situation, and yet we so vehemently oppose it in the other?

Bishop Phyllis Spiegel, center front, is surrounded by church leaders for a photo inside of the Capitol Theatre in Salt Lake City on Saturday, Sept. 17, 2022. I love seeing leadership that is filled with both men and women, working together in full partnership. (Too often our top leadership is a sea of general authorities in suits and ties, with no women in sight.)

 

It feels right to see Bishop Spiegel in her element, enthusiastic and happy at the front of her church.

 

Seeing a woman administer the sacrament to a male clergy member who supports and honors her in her leadership role over him is touching.

She looks qualified and stately. What cool women are we missing out on in the LDS church when they can’t rise to the top?

Good luck and welcome to Utah, Bishop!

Setting Apart Our Daughters to Prepare and Pass the Sacrament

“In our church we believe that when women are set apart to do a calling, they fulfil that calling using the priesthood…Then why can’t the Bishop just call the young women to be ‘sacrament passers’ or ‘sacrament preparers’ and then set them apart to do the calling?”

Photo credit: ordainwomen.org

How to Write the Best Christmas Program Ever: A Complete Guide

Photo by David Beale on Unsplash

A few years ago, I was my ward’s music chairperson. My duties included choosing hymns for sacrament meeting, arranging musical numbers, assisting the choir director, and writing the annual Christmas program, which consists of several musical numbers and narration. Between putting together multiple musical numbers, finding accompanists and instrumentalists, helping arrange practices, figuring out logistics and flow, writing the narration and finding readers, it’s a lot of work. 

I had an idea for my first Christmas program: rather than the traditional model of a narrator reading quotes or prose, I wanted to ask several people from the ward to share personal stories and intersperse those between each song. But I was overruled by the bishopric, so I put together a traditional program with quotes (over half by women!) and had two narrators (male and female). It turned out fine and went well (here’s a link to it in case it’s helpful to someone) but it wasn’t anything special. [1]

The next year, I followed my original vision (without asking permission this time), and folks: it was amazing. It was the best Christmas program I’ve ever attended, and people raved about it for weeks. You, too, can create the Best Christmas Program Ever, and here’s how.

I contacted people from various demographics in the ward so as to have several viewpoints and life experiences represented (a young mom, an elderly woman, a man in his 30s and one in his 40s, a middle aged woman, and me. A couple were very conservative and a couple were very liberal. Two were people of color. If I’d been aware of any LGBT+ people in the ward, I’d have invited them, too). I asked each person to write up a short experience and to time themselves delivering it to make sure it was under three minutes. Here is an example of the email I sent to each speaker after they agreed to participate:

.

Thanks for being willing to participate in our ward Christmas program! The program will be mostly music, and instead of narration between songs, I’ve asked you and a few others to share brief stories. I’d like you to share a time when Christmas became “real” to you, or an experience when your life changed because Jesus came to Earth. This could be a story about Christmas, or it could be an experience with the Atonement. 

Here’s the catch: your story HAS to be less than three minutes. I’m on a tight timeline, and I want to keep the program from going over if at all possible. Because of this, I need you to write out your experience and time yourself reading it to make sure it’s under three minutes. I also need you to send it to me by Friday, December 1st at the latest so that I can write and organize the program.

Our Christmas program is during sacrament meeting on December XX. If this doesn’t work for you, please let me know as soon as possible. Feel free to contact me with any questions.

Your experience will help others feel the spirit. I’m excited to have you participate!

Once I received all of the stories, I matched them with the songs in the program. In a couple cases, I added a little tag at the end of the story to help it flow into the message of the next song. Here is the email I sent out once the program was put together:

Thank you all for your willingness to participate in the Christmas program this coming Sunday, Dec. XX, during sacrament meeting. Click here to view the document so you can see where you will be in the program.

Speakers: If possible, please come up and sit on the stand after the sacrament (you may return to your family after your talk if you wish). If you can’t sit on the stand, try and be at the podium as quickly as possible when it’s your turn to speak so that we don’t have any downtime. No one will introduce you, so you’ll need to pay attention and go to the podium at the proper time. I will send you your individual parts in a separate email. The only changes I made to your submissions were to remove any “opening” or “closing” statements (like “good morning, brothers and sisters” or “in the name of Jesus Christ, amen”) just to give the program a better flow. For a few of you, I added a couple lines onto the end of your talk to help bridge into the following musical number.

Primary: Sister X will invite the children to come to the stand after her talk. If the primary pianist could please play some music while the children come up, that would be lovely.

Choir: Sister Y, if you could please include in your reminders to the choir that they are to come sit on the stand as soon as the sacrament is over and remain there for the duration if possible, that would be great.

I am excited to celebrate the Savior’s birth and to feel the spirit through your testimonies and beautiful music. Please contact me with any questions.

I’ve included the finished program below (with personal details changed and names removed) so you can get a feel for how it worked. Some of the speakers were funny and energetic, some were nervous and quiet, but all of them were earnest and compelling. The personal stories did more to bring the Christmas spirit than any recitations of general authority quotes ever could have. It helped that the musical numbers went well, too, but even if some of the performances had been weak, this program still would have been moving and memorable. Stories are powerful. When people allow themselves to be vulnerable and share a part of themselves, it can change the hearts and minds of others.

Female Speaker (me!)

The Christmas season is a magical time. Our hearts seem to be more united with friends, family, and even strangers, bound together by threads of shared traditions and faith. But the magic of Christmas is more than just a stronger feeling of goodwill toward men. It is a time we can reflect on the gift of Jesus Christ. 

For each of us, there is a moment when we feel the power of the atonement on a deeper level–when Christmas, the birth of Christ, becomes real to us. For me, it was my first Christmas away from home on my mission. 

I had been on my mission for two months when, two days before Christmas, I received some devastating news from home. The next day, Christmas Eve, was pretty awful–I was so consumed with grief and worry about my family that I couldn’t function or focus on anything or anyone else. I’ve never experienced spiritual anguish like that before. That night, after my companion went to sleep, I knelt in front of the Christmas tree and poured my heart out to God. “Heavenly Father, I want to be a missionary, but I can’t stay here and serve others when I feel like this. Please take this away, or I will have to go home.”

I woke up to my alarm at 6:30 on Christmas morning, groggily pulled myself out of bed, and knelt to say my prayers. It took me a few moments into my prayer to realize that something was different. The weight that had incapacitated me the previous two days was gone. I no longer felt the empty hopelessness inside. I still mourned for my family, but I was filled with peace and joy and light. The difference was night and day. It was the Savior’s Christmas gift to me.

I recognize not every prayer is answered in such an immediate way, but this experience taught me that God is mindful of His children, that the atonement works for me in my life, that Christmas is real. 

It’s been thirteen years since that Christmas on my mission, but I remember it clearly. Many things still haven’t healed with that family situation, but I gained a testimony that Christmas of the peace and the healing that come through the atonement of Christ. I know that burdens can be lifted, that hearts can be healed, that joy can fill the empty space of sorrow. 

Today, we will hear music that celebrates the Savior’s birth, and we will also hear stories of how that birth continues to affect lives over 2000 years later. We invite you to reflect on experiences in your own life when you were changed because Jesus came to earth. 

Choir: The First Noel, with violin

Male Speaker
Many years ago I was a new missionary in a foreign country. My first area was a small village. As December came around I was expecting the Christmas season to start, but many things that were from Western culture had not made it to that small village. The celebration of Christmas was only celebrated by the local branch as far as I could tell.

Two weeks before Christmas I was transferred to a larger city. There were signs of Christmas in some of the shops. Christmas was celebrated more as an American holiday or reason for shopping than a religious celebration. 

While there were signs of Christmas it did not feel like the holiday I knew from home. I believe I had taken Christmas for granted when I was growing up because it was celebrated by so many and it was everywhere you turned. The real reason for Christmas had not really become a part of me.

We were serving in a small ward, maybe 100 members if memory serves me correctly. Soon it was the time for the ward Christmas party. I remember entering the building and seeing all the work of the members. 

I had been in the country for only two months at this point and did not have a good grasp of the language. Cultural customs and the food was different from what I had become accustomed to while growing up. But the thing I remember most was the spirit that was present. That felt familiar. 

In those circumstances, with so much of what I physically accredited to Christmas gone, I came to understand what was important. It was Christ. He was the reason Christmas was special.

My mission also changed, I realized for the first time the real reason for me being there. It was to bring a knowledge of Christ to those I was to serve. 

This, this is Christ the king whom shepherds guard and angels sing.
Haste, haste to bring him laud; the babe, the son of Mary.

Instrumental solo: What Child Is This

Female Speaker
I love Christmas–the lights, the music, the joy, and the many reminders of God’s love for us.  I can’t remember a time when Jesus was not a focal part of my life.  When my sister and I were children, we participated in the Lutheran Christmas Eve Nativity program.  Then we were given an apple, an orange, peanuts, and candy in a brown paper sack.  Later we listened to my grandfather read the Luke 2 Christmas story.  These traditions were the beginnings of the testimony-building lessons that taught me that I could depend upon Jesus for guidance and strength.

Ten Christmases ago, my sibling died of cancer only two months after being diagnosed.  Everywhere I went, there were the happy holly jolly Christmas songs, but that could not ease my sorrow.  I was grateful that I had learned that faith and prayer would provide me with the solace and understanding that I was seeking.  When Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote the words “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day,” our country was in the midst of the Civil War, and he despaired that the angels’ message of peace and good will must be lost.  But then, as Longfellow continued to listen to the bells, he came to the realization that “God is not dead, nor doth he sleep.  The wrong shall fail, the right prevail with peace on earth, good will to men.”

These words remind me that Jesus taught us to look for the good that surrounds us and to pray for the best outcome.  How sad my life would be if I did not know that my prayers are heard and answered, and that we have continuing revelation given to our prophets today, such as President Gordon B. Hinckley’s counsel, “Be believing. Be happy. Don’t get discouraged. Things will work out.”  Every day I see evidences of the grace and countless blessings from our Heavenly Father and Jesus that bring me peace and comfort at Christmas and always. 

What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb.
If I were a wiseman, I would do my part.
Yet what I can, I give him: give him my heart.

Choir: In the Bleak Midwinter

Female Speaker
We celebrate Christ and that’s wonderful. With all the noise in the world, it’s hard to focus on the meaning of Christmas. You see, Christmas isn’t about receiving presents. Of course, as a child that’s all I thought of, receiving gifts from family and friends. As I gained wisdom, my perspective and views about Christmas changed.

Today, I will share an experience of when Christ became real to me. I haven’t always been a member of this church but Jesus Christ has always been apart of my life. Jesus Christ has always existed and faith was taught to me at a young age. My mother taught me Faith, prayer and the importance of living the gospel. 

As a teenager, I started to develop a health disorder. There’s no cure but treatment is available. My father too developed this health disorder in his adult life. I clearly remember him desperately seeking for a cure. I was worried and naturally confided in my mom. My mom told me to pray. I clearly remember her telling me to get on my knees and pray fervently. I did just that. I prayed to be healed from the disorder my body was experiencing. I opened my heart. I expressed my fears and concerns. What happened next, some may think is a coincidence, but to me my prayer was answered. In time, he healed me. My body no longer showed signs of the health disorder. My father in heaven didn’t just answer my prayer but I was also transformed into the person I am today. This experience taught me that Christ is real. He lives! 

During this season let’s remember him. Remember, he’s with us. He hears and answers our prayers. Let’s find time to turn our hearts unto him. 

People the world over looked forward to the Savior’s birth. In the Americas, Christ spoke to the prophet Nephi: “Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world.”

We would like to invite the Primary children to please come to the stand.

Primary: Christmas in Zarahemla

Female Speaker
After waiting my whole life, I finally received a call to serve a mission. I was to report to the Missionary training Center, or MTC, just in time for Christmas. 

President George Albert Smith was described as having an “enthusiastic desire to share The gospel.” That was me. We pulled up to The MTC and I hopped out of the car saying “see ya,” to my fam and walked away with my luggage. The missionaries waiting there to help me told me to hug my mom, so I did. Then onward, ever onward! 

The people in charge of the MTC tried to make Christmas for us very special. They had lights strung up,  Christmas trees, and Christmas movie nights where they popped about 2,000 bags of popcorn, one for each missionary. There were missionaries caroling in the courtyards in different languages with soft falling snow. It was magical! Even though popcorn and lights are awesome, those weren’t the things that made Christmas there unforgettable.  

Everything there is about Jesus Christ. We are kept away from all outside influences, focused on His teachings, changing our weaknesses to better represent His name as His servant, and adopting His purpose as our own. Christmas, for once for me, was all about HIM. 

The enthusiasm almost came to a screeching halt. If you can picture a little girl running inside, because she saw there was ice cream, then getting knocked out by the sliding glass door,  THAT WAS ALSO ME when I realized how many weaknesses I needed to change. 

But, there was a man who sang the hymn “Hark! the Herald Angels sing,” at the top of His lungs and with his whole heart. These words pierced me –  

Hail the heav’n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all he brings,
Ris’n with healing in his wings.
Mild he lays his glory by,
Born that man NO MORE may die;
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them SECOND BIRTH 

Heavenly Father needed someone to save His children from sin by sacrificing their life. Because He loves us, Jesus Christ volunteered Himself. The realization that HE ACTUALLY CAME TO EARTH on that first Christmas and did what He said He would FILLED MY SOUL!  Was I one of the angels singing at His birth? I’m sure I was singing somewhere! We can have a second birth! He came and showed us how to live! We can actually change, because of His Atonement! Take a chill- pill, I tell myself! Everything is ok and awesome!!!! This is all because of Christ.

Choir: Angels’ Gloria

Male Speaker
It’s hard to think of a specific memory of when Christmas became about the birth of the savior for me. My feelings about Christmas begin with family traditions and the wonderful music. After Thanksgiving, my mom would break out Johnny Mathis’s Merry Christmas album and put it on the old record player. She’d put it on repeat and let it play. The music would only break when we decided to turn the record over and listen to the other side or to clean the dust off the needle on the record player. As a kid, there was nothing like hearing Johnny Mathis sing O Holy Night, Silent Night, and the First Noel. I still love it.

As I got a little older, my mom would make cookies and we’d do secret Santa deliveries to neighbors and friends. Sometimes, we’d do a little caroling of our own. And It was always fun figuring out Christmas gifts for my brothers and parents. My parents would give us kids a little money to buy everyone gifts. It was really fun trying to find the gifts that my brothers and parents would like the most. These activities made me think about others and made me feel Christmas-y.

But every Christmas Eve, before any presents were exchanged and before Santa made any visit, my dad would read from Luke 2. The story of Jesus’s birth is now so familiar – In those days, Caesar Augustus decreed that all the world should be taxed; Joseph went with his espoused wife Mary, who was great with child, to Bethlehem to be taxed; while in Bethlehem, Mary brought forth her firstborn son and laid him in a manger; he was the Savior of the world and at his birth the angel announced to the shepherds in their fields – fear not, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

It is the greatest story ever told. Christ was born to bring salvation to all mankind. The Christmas story now has a profound impact on me because I have a testimony of Christ’s redeeming power. How wonderful it is that we get to celebrate it during this Christmas season.

[Bishopric announces closing hymn and prayer]

My Experience As a Trans Man in the LDS Church – How to Help Your LGBTQ+ Youth As a Church Leader

Ilea at the Salt Lake City 2021 Pride Event (21 years old).

Guest post by Ilea Brinkerhoff. Ilea is a transgender man who attended the Young Women’s program in the same ward of one of our bloggers. By request, Ilea shares his experiences coming out to himself and those around him, and the impact his church leaders had on him growing up.

Look in the mirror at a body that’s not yours, a skin you don’t fit in.

An endless battle everyday you look, one you’re not sure you’ll win.

A frustrated sob rips through your lips as an outfit you love gets tossed aside. It doesn’t fit your body right. Nothing does and you start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you. Your shirt doesn’t sit right on your chest and your pants cling too tightly to your hips. Belt or no belt can save the outline your hips make. No button up or t-shirt can save the fact that your chest feels way too big. Your body feels like a prison, every outfit a different length of sentence. Why should you feel like this? What right do you have? Everyone else around you doesn’t seem to have this problem, so why should you? Grinning and gritting your teeth, you finally decide on an outfit that’s not as bad as the other ones. You walk out the front door feeling crazy, unseen, and unloved. You can’t explain this feeling to yourself, how would you explain it to other people? 

Hi! My name is Ilea (eye-lay-a) I’m a 21 year old trans male and I’ve been out for 3 years this month! I came out shortly after I graduated high school in 2019. It was a long and hard road for me for several reasons. I didn’t know how to explain my feelings to myself, much less to other people around me. I kept them inside and did my best to feel “like I should” as a young woman. I rarely missed church or activities. I always felt out of place at young women’s. I had wonderful leaders who loved me, and I loved the people and loved spending time with them. However, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t belong there in that kind of a setting. Wearing dresses and skirts to church always made my blood curdle and I hated what I saw in the mirror. I was always taught I was a beautiful daughter of God, a loved and valuable young woman within the church. From a very young age I always saw myself as a child of God. Not necessarily one gender or the other. I couldn’t explain why I felt that way, I felt crazy and out of place for even thinking about it. The pressure in the church to marry in the temple was and is suffocating. Thinking about being a perfect wife to a man one day made me sick. I envisioned myself in the masculine role in relationships and always looked to my father for an example on how to behave in a romantic relationship instead of my mother. I didn’t see a way out of it, especially since I didn’t know or recognize the feelings I had. 

Ilea as a junior in high school – from a photoshoot with a fellow LDS ward member (16 years old).

 I started growing breasts around 15 or 16 and I got my first menstrual cycle when I was almost 17 years old. I’d never felt more trapped or scared in my life. I hated my body already, it was only getting worse and I was confused and hurt that I felt this way. I dreaded waking up in the morning because I knew that came with a shower and getting dressed. I chalked it up to being insecure and started to dress more and more masculine with varying degrees of baggy clothes to cover my female body. I hung around mostly guys and it confused me how much more I related to them and their struggles and problems. I had daily breakdowns over my body and all it entailed. I called myself lesbian and left it like that until my senior year and that’s when I really started questioning things and researching the transgender community.

Thoughts of self harm and suicide became more frequent and stronger the longer I tried to live out the identity of being a woman. I was frustrated and angry, I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I’d love an outfit, then look in the mirror and want to peel my skin off and free whoever this person was inside of me. I had never even heard the term transgender until I met a fellow FTM (female to male) in high school and started doing research on what it meant to feel trapped within your own body. It intrigued me and the more research I did, the more comfy it seemed and the better it fit my feelings and desires. A boy born in a girl’s body, that sounded crazy, but it sounded like me. Something sounding like me, at last, gave me more comfort than I had ever known. 

Ilea as a senior in high school. First day of 12th grade (17 years old).

I came out in September 2019, less than four months after I graduated high school. I told only my closest friends, I didn’t tell my parents or the general public until this year. I don’t regret it, I never have. I’ve been on hormones for about five months now and I have never been happier with my appearance and my general life. I still believe in God. I believe I am a Child, a Son of God and that he is there for me and he loves me. I believe he loves all transgender adults and kids, and that we are all his children. Growing up trans in the church was hard, but I wouldn’t trade it or change it. It made me who I am today and I am so thankful for my leaders and ex ward members who made me feel supported and loved during that time and now. Being trans is the most scary but the most fulfilling thing for me. I can’t imagine my life being any other way

Ilea getting ready for a soccer game (9 years old).

Leaders need to know that LGBTQ+ kids are everywhere. Sometimes the kids never give clues or never come out, which is why leaders should always be inclusive with what they say and teach their kids. Church leaders heavily influenced my mindset when I was part of the church. I took what they said to heart, and a lot of the time it wasn’t a good thing. My young women’s leaders were better, they encouraged me to be myself and to strive to love myself as I was and am. They were a perfect example of how leaders should be. Kids and teenagers are especially impressionable and leaders and adults around them should take careful thought with what they say and do.

Some of my good experiences as a trans youth in the church include, like I said above, having really great young women’s leaders. I really lucked out in that department. I got along really well with the girls there as well and I had many friends who loved and cared about me. I always felt safe in young womens. Off and unsure? Yes. But I was always safe as long as I was in young womens. I came out as lesbian and no one turned their back on me. They loved me, if possible, even harder and fiercely. They fought for me to go to girls camp when priesthood leaders wanted to exclude me for my sexuality. They stayed supportive when I came out as trans and reached out with love and acceptance. Along with a wonderful woman who worked with my mom as a scout leader They followed my social media story and liked my posts and never forced gender roles onto me. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.

Bad experiences included priesthood leaders attempting to exclude me from girls camp. I never felt like I should be there, but I always had fun and learned a lot from my experiences there. I still looked forward to it every year, and it crushed me when I found out people in my ward who are supposed to love me, were working hard to make it come to an end. It broke my heart to hear people tell me that it was a phase, and Satan was working his plan on me to keep me from God. That I needed to resist this temptation and stay on the straight and narrow path to God. They talked about gender roles and put heavy pressure on being the perfect “mormon housewife”  and scoffed or made jokes about people who didn’t fit in the binary. Ragging on trans people and how they were confused and didn’t know what they were talking about. That if they simply prayed and asked God for guidance and forgiveness that he would “heal them”. I begged God for years, crying and pleading for him to “make me normal”. To make me “like the other girls”. Leaders need to be steadfast in helping their kids feel loved and wanted, no matter who they are or will become. Trans youth and other LGBTQ youth need to feel loved and supported. 

Ilea climbs everything, as he usually does. (20 years old)

It would mean so much to me, and other youth no doubt, if leaders talked about trans relatives or friends in positive ways. Focused on the core beliefs of the gospel and on Jesus Christ instead of gender roles, and temple marriage. They made more inclusive activities. I can’t count the amount of times we only did crafts or some art project while the boys played dodgeball or some other sport. I understand that crafts and art are important and fun as well, but there should be a better balance between the two than what was introduced when I was a youth. I wish leaders were more openly supportive and loving towards LGBTQ youth and people as a whole. Not everyone is going to have or has had as good leaders as I was blessed with. I want that to change and I truly hope that it continues to get better as years go on. The amount of times I would be close to figuring something out about my identity, only to show up to church to have gender roles re-shoved down my throat along with my self discovery and new thoughts. I plead with church leaders, male or female or otherwise, to support and love your youth. It will make all the difference in the world to them, I promise you. 

Ilea’s sister insists on taking a picture of him during “golden hour”. (21 years old)

Thank you to those who are kind and supportive. To those who may not understand or know everything, but still reach out a kind hand. Thank you for inviting your youth to things and never giving up on them. Thank you for noticing the days that they’re more down and sad and giving them a hug. The reason I still believe in God and Christ are because of people like that. Thank you to those who make us feel loved and help us to belong when we feel like we don’t or shouldn’t. That is the dream of every youth, trans and cis alike. My good and bad experiences made me into who I am today. If it weren’t for the bad, I wouldn’t have grown and learned as much as I did. If it weren’t for the good I don’t know if I would have made it much longer. Sometimes it only takes one gesture, one action, one conversation. Be a light and make that change happen. 

Ilea admires his outfit choice and dark hair (20 years old).

Pride Event. Ilea has turned into a butterfly. (20 years old)

A blessing for all of the queer folks

St. George, Utah did not have a large public Pride festival before 2016. Previously, Pride was held as a small private gathering in Springdale. In 2016, two local high school students were distraught after the Pulse Nightclub shooting and wanted to celebrate Pride locally. LGBTQ+ folks and allies put together an event in the space of about 10 days. This photo is of the setup before 500 people arrived to celebrate Pride in Vernon Worthen Park in June 2016.

This is a blessing
To remind you
With strength and gentleness
That your body is a temple
Whole and beautiful
Worthy and unique.
You need no special documentation
To inhabit it
Or possess it
Because it is entirely yours
Sanctified by a God
Who knows your pronouns
Whose gender is reflected in you
Who loves the people you love.
This God sees your temple body
As sacred and holy.
Misunderstanding men may claim that
A misunderstanding God
Has a different arrangement, strange rules.
But God never left your temple
And is with you
Affirming you
All along the way.
Amen.

It’s Time to Re-think The Primary Sacrament Meeting Presentation

Every year, LDS children ages 3 to 11 years old are conscripted into performing a “Primary Sacrament Meeting Presentation” for the adults of their ward. This performance is meant to dazzle parents and delight grandparents with all the gospel principles children have learned throughout the year. Most programs I’ve witnessed have a bit of “The Worst Christmas Pageant Ever” about them, featuring embarrassed 10-year-olds, apathetic 8-year-olds, and nervous 3-year-olds. Throw in a few wigglers, some yell-singers, the silly face-makers, and a crier or two and you have the classic Primary Program.

I have a confession: I didn’t like the Primary Sacrament Meeting Presentation (or kids singing) until I had children of my own. Even now, I find it amusing/torturous and always wish it was a half an hour shorter. Perhaps this is because the program itself feels rehearsed and unnatural, with kids reading, reciting, or repeating rehearsed lines and singing songs they practiced endlessly for months leading up to the performance. Rather than demonstrating what they’ve gained in faith, it feels like a demonstration of their ability to memorize, please, and perform.  

The biggest concern I have for LDS children is how preparation for Primary Sacrament Meeting Presentation seems to take over the entire Primary experience. This desire to perform well on The Big Day supersedes learning songs to help children connect with God. It requires children to repeatedly sing verses over and over, louder (but not yelling), clearer, again, each Sunday. Songs of worship and praise become chores. Are our kids attending Primary to memorize new songs for us or to have a joyful experience learning of Christ?

I do appreciate the newer method of asking children to create speaking parts. When I was little, I usually received a pre-written part that I memorized. This didn’t really mean much to me and I just wanted to recite it well for my parents. These days, children are given a prompt and invited to complete it with their own ideas, thoughts, and testimony. It’s a great learning tool, it invites parents to become engaged with the topic, and provides an opportunity for kids to think about their own beliefs.

If only this little talk didn’t become part of Sundays and Saturdays spent seated in chairs labeled with kid’s names, where they practice sitting reverently, singing the same songs (again), listening to their peers repeat their talks, and then reciting their own talks. No matter how much pizza you promise kids at the end, The Primary Sacrament Meeting Presentation practice is painfully dull. I attended once as a primary teacher and secretly vowed to never send my kids again. And, honestly, it never seems to make much difference when nerves and excitement kick in on performance day anyway.

Last year, I suggested 5 Ways to Improve Primary and I believe that rethinking The Primary Sacrament Meeting Presentation is a great way to follow these suggestions. Do we really need such a time-consuming, repetitious performance at the end of each year? Is the stress for Primary leaders and teachers necessary? Couldn’t we replace it with something simpler and, dare I say, more fun kids? How about share some pictures children drew of Christ and have the children sing a favorite primary song or two that they enjoy?

I would rather listen to a group of kids belt out a few enthusiastic, joyful verses of “This Little Light of Mine,” where the chorus (the part they know best) is always sung the loudest and the older kids hold hymnals to hide behind, but also secretly love to sing a little, than watch an hour-long, rehearsed performance any day.

World Childless Week

A friend of mine posted on Facebook the other day about World Childless Week. I had never heard of it before, but I felt seen and validated. At church, our worth as women is defined by the contents of our uterus. Six days a week, I am a successful individual, and on Sunday I am seen as a failure due to my fallow womb. Not just a failure, though – often judgment is heaped upon women without children, either because we are believed to have chosen our childlessness or we are believed to have sinned and caused our childlessness. (News flash: plenty of gravely sinful people have children, otherwise there would be almost no need for CPS and the foster care system.)

It doesn’t get much better in online Mormon feminist circles, though. In a well-intentioned but misguided effort to be inclusive of those without children, many (with children) have taken to calling women who don’t have children “childfree” instead of “childless” as if the neutral term “childless” is somehow shameful. Childless means without children but does not specify the reason. Childfree is a lifestyle choice where someone actively chooses not to have children. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to have children, but it’s not the only reason someone doesn’t have them. Once again, I am seen as having chosen my childlessness. I am denied the opportunity to grieve because apparently I brought it on myself.

I am childless. I am not childfree. And 90% of women my age who do not have children are likewise childless and not childfree. Our stories are varied. Some tried to conceive but were unable to. Some tried to carry to term but could not. Some didn’t have the economic means to even try in the first place. Some didn’t find a partner in time and didn’t feel able or wish to raise a child alone. Some have what I call Schrodinger’s Womb – neither fertile nor infertile, not in menopause yet, but the chances of finding someone before that happens get smaller every day.

Most of the time I tell myself that I’ve made peace with my situation, and most days I have. But then I see people who definitely don’t deserve to be parents who nonetheless get to, and I scream at the sky asking God why they’re allowed to and I’m not, because I know I would do a better job. And then I remind myself that I probably still have a few years left and a miracle could happen. Sarah and Hannah got their improbable children. Schrodinger’s Womb rears its head again.

When you meet a person who doesn’t have children, don’t assume that you know why. Don’t assume you know how the person feels about it. And don’t assume that how they feel about it is static. Don’t assume they want to talk about it, but also don’t assume that they don’t. We’re unique individuals, just like you. Become our friends and love us for who we are, not for the potential contents of our collective uteri.