Exponent II's Blog, page 151

Unity and healing do not occur in the absence of accountability

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we are asked to repent of our sins and our mistakes. Those of us who have gone through the repentance process know it is painful, it is humbling, and can often strengthen our relationship with Jesus Christ. Repentance is one of the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel, according to the Fourth Article of Faith.

The process of repentance is taught to us as early in our Primary years and reinforced throughout our lives. The process if first, we must feel sorrow for our sins. We must acknowledge that we have done wrong and feel grief over our mistake. Second, we must confess our sins to Heavenly Father, an ecclesiastical authority, or to the person or entity we have wronged. Third, we promise that we will never commit that sin or transgression ever again. We must commit this to the entity we caused harm and to ourselves. Finally, we must make restitution for the harm we have caused and commit to living a better life. Restitution is varied but requires an apology.

The process of repentance has been on my mind a lot lately. A dear friend of mine has been in recovery from alcohol addiction for the past few years. She has worked the 12 steps meticulously and thoughtfully. She is committed to admitting her mistakes, making restitution for the harm she has caused others, and living a more honest, healthy life. I know that several of the steps have been personally painful for her as she has experienced feelings of shame and regret, but she knows it is necessary to complete those steps in order to remain sober. She is now showing up in her life instead of hiding from it.

Her strength and vulnerability have inspired me immensely. I’m in awe of her courage and fortitude. It’s been an honor to witness as her friend the commitment she has for holding herself accountable and making changes in her life for the better.

That is why I am so shocked that so many want to skip over all the necessary steps of repentance and get right to reconciliation. On January 6, 2021 citizens of the United States witnessed a violent mob attempt to stage a coup at the United States Capitol with the express goal to overthrow our democracy. Many people have made demands that we forget what happened just 2 weeks ago and unite and heal. They have no felt sorrow, confessed no wrongs, and have not made any restitution by apologizing. Utah’s own US Representative Burgess Owens, and LDS church member, called for unity while still blaming “the left.” This is what I have to say about that:

Unity and healing do not occur in the absence of accountability.

Jesus Christ knows this. The founders and administrators of addiction recovery programs know this. Why don’t we, who have learned the process of repentance since our childhoods and had it reinforced numerous times in our lives, know this? What it is about us that seeks to heal wounds without accountability? I have seen it in my own family as a relative who molested another family has demanded that we forgive him without ever apologizing or acknowledging the harm to his victim(s). I’ve seen it currently in my country where those who don’t want to be held accountable have demanded that they be forgiven instantly, and we “unite” with them.

When will we learn that there is no healing without accountability?

Image courtesy of Foundry Co from Pixabay 

Come Follow Me: Doctrine & Covenants 3-5 “My Work Shall Go Forth” & 10-11 “That You May Come Off Conqueror”

The Come Follow Me manual is organized to follow the page order of the sections of Doctrine and Covenants, which do not follow the chronological order of the historical events they discuss. However, I find it much easier to discuss Doctrine and Covenants Sections 3 and 10 together, rather than several weeks apart, as they cover the same topic: the loss of the manuscript of the Book of Lehi, which would have been the first 116 pages of the Book of Mormon. This lesson plan may be used for Sunday School or home and family study on the dates scheduled for either Section 3 or 10 or both.

The Loss of the Manuscript

[image error][image error]Describe the circumstances surrounding the loss of the Book of Lehi. You might paraphrase the following account from the book Saints, which is a narrative history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) published by the LDS Church.

In time, Martin [Harris] returned from Palmyra [New York] to [Harmony, Pennsylvania] and took over as scribe [for Joseph Smith, who was translating the Book of Mormon], giving Emma [Smith, who had been serving as the scribe] a chance to rest before the baby came.25 [She was pregnant with her first child.] 26 …Lucy [Harris, Martin’s wife] was suspicious of Martin’s desire to support Joseph financially. …After Joseph refused to show her the plates, she started searching the house, rifling through the family’s chests, cupboards, and trunks. 27

Emma Smith serving as a scribe as Joseph Smith translates the Book of Mormon

…Soon it was time for Emma’s baby to be born. The pile of manuscript pages had grown thick, and Martin had become convinced that if he could let his wife read the translation, she would see its value and stop interfering with their work.32 He also hoped Lucy would be pleased with how he had spent his time and money to help bring forth God’s word.

One day, Martin asked Joseph for permission to take the manuscript to Palmyra for a few weeks.33 Remembering how Lucy Harris had acted when she visited the house, Joseph was wary of the idea. Yet he wanted to please Martin, who had believed him when so many others had doubted his word.34

Unsure what to do, Joseph prayed for guidance, and the Lord told him not to let Martin take the pages.35 But Martin was sure showing them to his wife would change things, and he begged Joseph to ask again. Joseph did so, but the answer was the same. Martin pressed him to ask a third time, however, and this time God allowed them to do as they pleased.

Joseph told Martin he could take the pages for two weeks if he covenanted to keep them locked up and show them only to certain family members. Martin made the promise and returned to Palmyra, manuscript in hand.36

After Martin left, Moroni appeared to Joseph and took the interpreters from him.37

The day after Martin’s departure, Emma endured an agonizing labor and gave birth to a boy. The baby was frail and sickly and did not live long. The ordeal left Emma physically drained and emotionally devastated, and for a time it seemed she might die too. Joseph tended to her constantly, never leaving her side for long.38

After two weeks, Emma’s health began to improve, and her thoughts turned to Martin and the manuscript. “I feel so uneasy,” she told Joseph, “that I cannot rest and shall not be at ease until I know something about what Mr. Harris is doing with it.”

…The sun was rising when he arrived at his parents’ home in Manchester. The Smiths were preparing breakfast and sent Martin an invitation to join them. By eight o’clock, the meal was on the table but Martin had not come. Joseph and the family started to grow uneasy as they waited for him.

Finally, after more than four hours had passed, Martin appeared in the distance, walking slowly toward the house, his eyes fixed on the ground in front of him.41 At the gate he paused, sat on the fence, and pulled his hat down over his eyes. He then came inside and sat down to eat in silence.

The family watched as Martin picked up his utensils, as if ready to eat, then dropped them. “I have lost my soul!” he cried, pressing his hands on his temples. “I have lost my soul.”

Joseph jumped up. “Martin, have you lost that manuscript?”

“Yes,” Martin said. “It is gone, and I know not where.”

“Oh, my God, my God,” Joseph groaned, clenching his fists. “All is lost!”

He started pacing the floor. He did not know what to do. “Go back,” he ordered Martin. “Search again.”

“It is all in vain,” Martin cried. “I have looked every place in the house. I have even ripped open beds and pillows, and I know it is not there.”

“Must I return to my wife with such a tale?” Joseph feared the news would kill her. “And how shall I appear before the Lord?”

…His mother [Lucy Mack Smith] tried to comfort him. She said maybe the Lord would forgive him if he repented humbly. But Joseph was sobbing now, furious at himself for not obeying the Lord the first time. He could barely eat for the rest of the day.42

…When Joseph returned to Harmony in the summer of 1828, Moroni appeared to him again and took the plates away. “If you are sufficiently humble and penitent,” the angel said, “you will receive them again on the twenty-second of September.”1

–Saints: The Story of the Church of Jesus Christ in the Latter Days, Volume 1: The Standard of Truth, Chapters 5 and 6, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2018

Trusting God Rather Than Fearing Man

The Lord chastened Joseph Smith for losing the manuscript, but he also offered encouragement. Invite the class to silently read D&C 3:1-15 and look for ways the Lord rebuked Joseph and ways the Lord encouraged him.

List on the board (or chat box, if the class is online) phrases from verses 1–15 containing the Lord’s rebukes.List phrases containing encouragement. 

1 The aworks, and the designs, and the purposes of God cannot be bfrustrated, neither can they come to naught.

2 For God doth not awalk in crooked paths, neither doth he bturn to the right hand nor to the left, neither doth he vary from that which he hath said, therefore his paths are straight, and his ccourse is one eternal round.

3 Remember, remember that it is not the awork of God that is frustrated, but the work of men;

4 For although a man may have many arevelations, and have bpower to do many mighty works, yet if he cboasts in his own dstrength, and sets at naught the ecounsels of God, and follows after the dictates of his own will and fcarnal desires, he must fall and incur the gvengeance of a hjust God upon him.

5 Behold, you have been aentrusted with these things, but how strict were your commandments; and remember also the promises which were made to you, if you did not transgress them.

6 And behold, how aoft you have btransgressed the commandments and the laws of God, and have gone on in the cpersuasions of men.

7 For, behold, you should not have afeared man more than God. Although men set at naught the counsels of God, and bdespise his words—

8 Yet you should have been faithful; and he would have extended his arm and asupported you against all the fiery bdarts of the cadversary; and he would have been with you in every time of dtrouble.

9 Behold, thou art Joseph, and thou wast chosen to do the work of the Lord, but because of transgression, if thou art not aware thou wilt afall.

10 But remember, God is merciful; therefore, repent of that which thou hast done which is contrary to the commandment which I gave you, and thou art still chosen, and art aagain called to the work;

11 Except thou ado this, thou shalt be delivered up and become as other men, and have no more gift.

12 And when thou deliveredst up that which God had given thee sight and power to atranslate, thou deliveredst up that which was bsacred into the hands of a wicked cman,

13 Who has set at naught the counsels of God, and has broken the most sacred promises which were made before God, and has depended upon his own judgment and aboasted in his own wisdom.

14 And this is the reason that thou hast lost thy privileges for a season—

15 For thou hast suffered the counsel of thy adirector to be trampled upon from the beginning.

D&C 3: 1-15

What truths do we learn from Doctrine and Covenants 3:1–15 that can help us remain faithful to God when we feel pressured by other people to do something we know is wrong?What does Joseph’s experience teach us about how the Savior helps us overcome our mistakes?

In D&C 10, Joseph Smith received the revelation reinstating him to his work of translation.

3 Nevertheless, it is now arestored unto you again; therefore see that you are faithful and continue on unto the finishing of the remainder of the work of btranslation as you have begun.

4 Do not run afaster or labor more than you have bstrength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be cdiligent unto the end.

5 aPray always, that you may come off bconqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may cescape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work.

D&C 10:3-5

What advice does the Lord give Joseph as he return to work? How can we apply this advice to our own lives’ work and callings?How do we “pray always”?The Lord’s “wisdom is greater than the cunning of the devil.”

Although Joseph Smith had been forgiven by the Lord, there were still natural consequences for his actions. The Lord warned Joseph that he would not be able to retranslate and publish the book of Lehi now that the unpublished manuscript was in someone else’s hands.

16 And then, behold, they say and think in their hearts—We will see if God has given him power to translate; if so, he will also give him power again;

17 And if God giveth him power again, or if he translates again, or, in other words, if he bringeth forth the same words, behold, we have the same with us, and we have altered them;

18 Therefore they will not agree, and we will say that he has lied in his words, and that he has no agift, and that he has no power;

19 Therefore we will destroy him, and also the work; and we will do this that we may not be ashamed in the end, and that we may get aglory of the world.

D&C 10:16-19

This was a great loss, but remember that the Lord said:

1 The aworks, and the designs, and the purposes of God cannot be bfrustrated, neither can they come to naught….

3 Remember, remember that it is not the awork of God that is frustrated, but the work of men;

D&C 3:1,3

More than 2,400 years in advance, the Lord anticipated that Joseph Smith and Martin Harris would lose the Book of Lehi, and had prepared by inspiring Lehi’s son, Nephi, to write his own book which covered much of the same subject matter. Nephi’s record replaced the lost manuscript is now found in 1 Nephi through Omni.

38 And now, verily I say unto you, that an account of those things that you have written, which have gone out of your hands, is engraven upon the aplates of Nephi;

39 Yea, and you remember it was said in those writings that a more particular account was given of these things upon the plates of Nephi.

40 And now, because the account which is engraven upon the plates of Nephi is more particular concerning the things which, in my wisdom, I awould bring to the knowledge of the people in this account—

41 Therefore, you shall translate the engravings which are on the plates of Nephi, down even till you come to the reign of king Benjamin, or until you come to that which you have translated, which you have retained;

42 And behold, you shall publish it as the record of Nephi; and thus I will aconfound those who have altered my words.

43 I will not suffer that they shall destroy my awork; yea, I will show unto them that my bwisdom is greater than the cunning of the devil.

D&C 10:38-43

While Nephi did not know the particulars about what would happen to his father’s record, Nephi indicated that he knew the Lord had a plan and a reason for asking him to create a similar record.

5 Wherefore, the Lord hath commanded me to make these plates for a awise purpose in him, which purpose I know not.

6 But the Lord aknoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all bpower unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.

1 Nephi 9:5-6

How does the Lord compensate for humans’ sins and mistakes?What evidence of the Lord’s wisdom and foreknowledge have you seen in your life?How have you seen that the Lord’s “wisdom is greater than the cunning of the devil” (Doctrine and Covenants 10:43)?How does this knowledge strengthen our faith in Him?

Invite the class to silently read D&C 10:55-70 and find phrases that begin with “I am” or “I will.”

What do we learn from the “I am” phrases about who Jesus Christ is and what He is like?What do we learn from the “I will” phrases about what He does?

55 Therefore, whosoever belongeth to my church need not afear, for such shall binherit the ckingdom of heaven.

56 But it is they who do not afear me, neither keep my commandments but build up bchurches unto themselves to get cgain, yea, and all those that do wickedly and build up the kingdom of the devil—yea, verily, verily, I say unto you, that it is they that I will disturb, and cause to tremble and shake to the center.

57 Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the aSon of God. I came unto mine own, and mine own breceived me not.

58 I am the alight which shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehendeth it not.

59 I am he who said—aOther bsheep have I which are not of this fold—unto my disciples, and many there were that cunderstood me not.

60 And I will show unto this people that I had other asheep, and that they were a bbranch of the house of cJacob;

61 And I will bring to light their marvelous works, which they did in my name;

62 Yea, and I will also bring to light my gospel which was ministered unto them, and, behold, they shall not deny that which you have received, but they shall build it up, and shall bring to light the true points of my adoctrine, yea, and the only doctrine which is in me.

63 And this I do that I may establish my gospel, that there may not be so much acontention; yea, bSatan doth cstir up the hearts of the people to dcontention concerning the points of my doctrine; and in these things they do err, for they do ewrest the scriptures and do not understand them.

64 Therefore, I will unfold unto them this great mystery;

65 For, behold, I will agather them as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if they will not harden their hearts;

66 Yea, if they will come, they may, and partake of the awaters of life freely.

67 Behold, this is my doctrine—whosoever repenteth and acometh unto me, the same is my bchurch.

68 Whosoever adeclareth more or less than this, the same is not of me, but is bagainst me; therefore he is not of my church.

69 And now, behold, whosoever is of my church, and aendureth of my church to the end, him will I establish upon my brock, and the cgates of hell shall not prevail against them.

70 And now, remember the words of him who is the life and alight of the bworld, your Redeemer, your cLord and your God. Amen.

D&C 10:55-70

 “Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.”

Because the stern rebuke of Martin Harris found in Doctrine and Covenants sections 3 and 10 is so prominent, and recorded out of context with the other events of his life, there is an unfortunate tendency among modern church members to vilify him. However, both Joseph Smith and Martin Harris moved on from this incident, were forgiven by the Lord, and continued their missions as leaders of the church.[image error][image error]

Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.
– Bryan Stevenson, author of Just Mercy

Having a special interest in Martin Harris, I have been saddened at how he is remembered by most Church members. He deserves better than to be remembered solely as the man who unrighteously obtained and then lost the initial manuscript pages of the Book of Mormon.
– Dallin H. Oaks, The Witness: Martin Harris, April, 1999

Here are some facts about Martin Harris that Dallin H. Oaks presented when he defended the legacy of Martin Harris in General Conference in 1999.

“This prosperous and upright older man befriended the young and penniless Joseph Smith, giving him the $50 that permitted him to pay his debts in Palmyra and locate in northeastern Pennsylvania about 150 miles away.”“There, in April 1828, Joseph Smith began his first persistent translation of the Book of Mormon. He dictated, and Martin Harris wrote until there were 116 pages of manuscript.”“About nine months after Martin’s rebuke [for losing the 116 pages], the Prophet Joseph received a revelation declaring that there would be three witnesses to the plates and if Martin would humble himself he would be privileged to see them (see D&C 5:11, 15, 24). A few months later, Martin Harris was selected as one of the Three Witnesses.”“One of Martin Harris’s greatest contributions to the Church, for which he should be honored for all time, was his financing the publication of the Book of Mormon. In August 1829 he mortgaged his home and farm to Egbert B. Grandin to secure payment on the printer’s contract. Seven months later, the 5,000 copies of the first printing of the Book of Mormon were completed.”“Later, when the mortgage note fell due, the home and a portion of the farm were sold for $3,000. In this way, Martin Harris was obedient to the Lord’s revelation: ‘Thou shalt not covet thine own property, but impart it freely to the printing of the Book of Mormon. …Pay the debt thou hast contracted with the printer. Release thyself from bondage.’” (D&C 19:26, 35)“He was present at the organization of the Church on April 6, 1830, and was baptized that same day.”“A year later he was called to journey to Missouri with Joseph Smith, Sidney Rigdon, and Edward Partridge (see D&C 52:24).”“In Missouri that year—1831—he was commanded to “be an example unto the church, in laying his moneys before the bishop of the church” (D&C 58:35), thus becoming the first man the Lord called by name to consecrate his property in Zion.”“Two months later he was named with Joseph Smith, Oliver Cowdery, Sidney Rigdon, and others to be ‘stewards over the revelations and commandments’ (D&C 70:3; see also D&C 70:1), a direction to publish and circulate what later became the Doctrine and Covenants.”“In 1832 Martin Harris’s older brother, Emer, who is my great-great-grandfather, was called on a mission from Ohio (see D&C 75:30). Emer spent a year preaching the gospel near his former home in northeastern Pennsylvania. During most of this time Emer’s companion was his brother Martin, whose zeal in preaching even caused him to be jailed for a few days. The Harris brothers baptized about 100 persons.”“Back in Kirtland, Ohio, after his mission, in February 1834 Martin Harris was chosen by revelation to serve on the first high council in the Church (see D&C 102:3).”“Less than three months later, he left Kirtland with the men of Zion’s Camp, marching 900 miles to Missouri to relieve the oppressed Saints there.”“One of the most important events of the Restoration was the calling of a Quorum of Twelve Apostles in February 1835. The Three Witnesses, including Martin Harris, were appointed to “search out the Twelve” (D&C 18:37), to select them and, under authority granted by the Prophet and his counselors, to ordain them.”Amid conflicts among church leaders in Kirtland, Ohio, “he was released from the high council in September 1837 and three months later was excommunicated,” yet he never “deviated from his published testimony or said anything that cast any shadow on its truthfulness.”“He was rebaptized by a visiting missionary [from Utah] in 1842…[and became] a “Mormon preacher.” evidence of his continuing loyalty to the restored gospel.“During part of his remaining years in Kirtland, Martin Harris acted as a self-appointed guide-caretaker of the deserted Kirtland Temple, which he loved.”Finally, in 1870, Martin’s desire to be reunited with his family in Utah resulted in a warm invitation from Brigham Young, a ticket for his passage, and an official escort from one of the Presidents of Seventy. A Utah interviewer of the 87-year-old man described him as “remarkably vigorous for one of his years, … his memory being very good” (Deseret News,31 Aug. 1870). He was rebaptized, a common practice at that time, and spoke twice to audiences in this Tabernacle.”– Dallin H. Oaks, The Witness: Martin Harris, April, 1999

Awakening the Dream

By Melissa -Malcolm King

Dear America Citizens,

Today is the day that our country has set aside to recognize, and honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s legacy. In the past few years, I have become deeply disturbed by the trend that makes this day about false appearances. Individuals who wear the world’s silent blinders of hate acting with privilege ignoring others’ suffering suddenly overload social media with images and quotes. Others use this opportunity to publicly point out the need for peace but within close circles hide in the shadows . Yet, others fall into the commercialized version, donning apparel, and buying into a system that does not profit the Black community. I have had several associates tell me that this day is set aside for service and not for remembering the past.

To this end, I wish to address these sentiments today with the hope of both building bridges and doing my part to uphold Dr. King’s mission.  This list is in no way the full weight of my experience. It does not tell the full story, it is merely a resume of a situation that I cannot ignore or wish away. It is a glimpse of reality beyond the blinkers of privilege and into souls of those suffering in forced silence.

Until individuals can embrace all aspects of history, and the truth can come to light, systemic racism and whitewashing will continue to evade where peace and justice should be.

I hear you say:

 Dr. King had peaceful protests and demonstrated to the world how to stand up for truth without violence. 

Truth is –

While Dr. King followed in Gandhi’s footsteps, the protests were not peaceful. Dr. King and others who fought for human rights endured being attacked by dogs, sprayed with hoses, having their homes torched, and many hung and beaten to death. Dr. King’s assassination alone demonstrates that the battle was not peaceful because, just like today, Black people are at war with a system that attempts to make them a permanent underclass.

2. I hear you say – This holiday is to do service projects and help the needy. After all, Dr. King served other people, and that is what this day is all about.

Truth is – This day is a sacred commemoration of the sacrifices of those who fought for freedom and civil liberties. It is also a day to recognize Dr. Martin Luther King, JR, and realize that his dream is still not fulfilled today. Black people still are impacted by systemic racism and being killed because of their skin color. If you do not believe in Black Lives Matter but goes to a service project on MLK day, you must internally reflect and come to terms with your biases.

3. I hear you say – I am colorblind, and everyone is just the same to me….

    Truth is – One of the worst things we can do in society is to become a people of erasure to have a more comfortable seat at the table. Our unique images and beautiful cultures should be celebrated and honored, not tolerated. Please do not erase me. Please do not wash away the blood that sits on your hands and act like I am not wounded. See me. Hear me and do not just walk from me or cross to the other side. If I am truly your brother, sister, and sibling then treat me like part of the family with honor instead of ignoring all the significant aspects of me.

4. I hear you say – Martin Luther King, Jr had a dream that one day we will be one. I love everyone, and that is how I fulfill the vision.

Truth is – 

 Dr. Martin Luther King began his speech by saying:

 “I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. “

This is a call to action, not to make positive affirmations or catchy slogans. Dr. Martin Luther King ,Jr gave many speeches and spoke out publicly against things that were not popular and that many deemed to be an atrocity to society. In his speech, Two Americas, he explores the constructs of systemic racism , an experience Black People still endure still today. (see link below to read the address).

Freedom does not ring with lack of ongoing action and the inability to recognize that in America we have built a system of inequality that has created a people of privilege and a people that have to continually fight to survive at the same table. It is not so much the people who wave the flags and shout profanities that intimidate and give me pause. It is all those stand in the shadows and sidelines silently supporting and watching the suffering that says the most and gives power to many.

Please do not dilute this man’s sacrifice and mission to a single day or an less than empathic attitude that does not include an action plan of genuine and honest ally ship. Likewise, please do not minimalize Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s memory to a mere birthday party or a single day of service. Please take a never-ending commitment to fight against injustice, racism, and the acts of violence that continue to plague my people and community.

That after all, that is how the dream becomes a reality.

Signed,

A Mad Queer Black Person living in America

Microsoft Word – mlk-gp-speech-final.doc (gphistorical.org)

Dear Heavenly Mother

Dear Heavenly Mother,

Is it “Heavenly Mother,” or do you prefer something else? Would you rather I used “God” or even “Mom”? So much about you is a mystery, even your name. Most people I know don’t even imagine that you exist, but I cling to your possibilities. So much of Mormonism is uncertain for me, but you are the one, unique, tantalizing piece of my religious upbringing I can’t—I won’t—let go of.

I find myself searching for you in books about the female divine and in music or art with hints of you. Lately, I spend my time creating vibrant, rainbow-hued, felted wool images of a heavenly woman surrounded by light. I conceive complex imagery where women, children, and men look in a mirror and see your reflection in return. The joy I feel in these creations is always tinged with the melancholy reminder that I am just piecing together bits of you found here and there. I am supposedly made in your image, but your visage is a mystery to me.

Up until tonight, I always envisioned you as an unwilling accomplice to patriarchy. While I could not reconcile the secrecy surrounding you with the strength and power I hope you hold, I never dared believe you complicit. But tonight, I wonder why you don’t respond to my queries or join me on Wednesdays to fight the patriarchy. Why have you deserted women? Why silence when we need your voice; when we’ve always needed it?

My biggest fear is not that you don’t exist, but that you do, and that you hold up the patriarchy.

           Dear Mother, please help me understand the divide between us. Are you just one prayer, one whisper away? Is “God” you or a Heavenly pair acting as one? Are you only lost until women unearth you beneath the weight of male supremacy and gendered power? How do we claim you when we know so little?

            I wish you would appear and cleanse the earth of patriarchy—not so I could believe in your existence, but so I could believe in you.

            Your existence has been kept secret (or sacred, as men say) for so long, that I fear calling upon your name. I’ve heard for so long Heavenly Mother is too precious, too perfect, too important. We can say your name, but not pray your name. Oh, how I long to publicly pray your name; to hear prophets praise your name.

            I refuse to imagine you on a pedestal; a delicate flower too fragile to expose to questions, ridicule, shame, or even worship. Are you protected or is your power so robust, so enviable, that men must contain it to feel strong? I like to imagine that my strength, my compassion, my wisdom, even my humor, come from you. When I look at my sisters, my mother, and my friends, I see you in their grins, their screams of frustration, their joyous declarations, and their weary tears. Please say that you are not white, bright, unobtainable perfection, but instead round, vibrant, loud, and brazen with your love.

            While I wish I could hold a book of words declaring your name, dear Mother, and unraveling the mysteries of the feminine divine, I’m also grateful that you remain relatively untouched by the revisions of men. Your absence from scripture protects you from patriarchal modifications keeping you perpetually pregnant, a plural wife, or an auxiliary of the Godhead. Perhaps you are a mystery only because you are for your children to discover unabridged.

            So, I will keep seeking you in the poetry, music, art, and words that both hint at your existence and shout your name. I’ll continue letting my fingers craft at will, weaving together strands representing your love, hope, and wisdom; symbols of my quest for you. And, when melancholy or doubt threatens, I’ll reach for those strands connecting me to your feminine divine.

Love,

Mindy

Personal Truth, Scientific Truth and Latter-Day Misinformation

 

Personal truths are gained through personal revelation. Scientific truths are discovered through the Scientific Method. Latter-Day Saints who use the process of personal revelation to verify scientific truths instead of the scientific method risk being mistaken and may mislead others.   

The traditional worship experience for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints includes a monthly testimony ritual. Any member in good standing may speak at the microphone and profess their beliefs and the truths of their heart as witnessed to them by the Holy Ghost. These Testimony meetings are a way for members to share their faith and to strengthen the faith of others. 

As children, youth, or investigators in the church, we learned from the testimonies of others as we developed a testimony of our own. We heard our parents, missionaries, youth leaders, even the prophet repeat the dearest doctrines of our faith recounted with personal experience and their own witness.  We leaned on their feelings about the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ as we experimented on the word to gain our belief. We were encouraged to seek out our own answers through prayer, and gain our own witness by the power of the Holy Ghost. We learned from the Doctrine and Covenants that the Holy Ghost could reveal things to our minds and to our hearts. We learned gospel truths by thinking and feeling. It was the birth of our faith! 

These feelings of inspiration came to shape our personal truths, our relationship to doctrine, scripture, authority of church leaders, and commandments. Without evidence or proof of many aspects of church doctrine, we assume these beliefs on faith – not a perfect knowledge, but a hope for things which are not seen, which are true. Over time and after living with beliefs and faith for so long, many members adopt the language of certainty for their expressions of faith. “I Believe…” can morph into “I Know…” and faith is expressed as true knowledge, after having received personal witnesses to confirm their beliefs. 

By hearing the personal truths of others, our personal truths become more defined. We are taught to trust things spoken of by the mouth of two or three witnesses, and we feel aligned with truth when we believe as our leaders also believe.  Our faith is confirmed by testimony of others in addition to our own revelation and insight from God. 

The acquisition of personal religious truth has a very clearly defined process in Mormonism. It is outlined in the scriptures, taught in lessons, spoken of from the pulpit, and built into the curriculum for all ages. Investigators, children, youth and adults are brought through the same process, beginning with basic gospel principles and beyond. There is belongingness and community in shared beliefs, and faith in a common truth we all hold dear. Shared faith and testimony are key features to Mormon community acceptance and belonging. 

Our personal testimonies, experiences and perspectives of religious truth are personal. No two people will have the same testimony. In that way, shared beliefs and shared testimony are subjective and unique to each person.  Personal witness and testimony is highly honored and respected in Mormon doctrine and culture, especially when it aligns with the witness and testimony of trusted leaders. Mormon doctrine holds space for individual personal revelation, as well as the expectation that the Spirit will confirm the words and actions of prophets as true. One way we are taught to verify our feelings as truth and “of God” is the warm confirmation of the Spirit. We have been taught to discern a “stupor of thought” as an indicator that something is not right. 

In Mormonism, obtaining spiritual knowledge and confirmation of one’s belief is encouraged and reinforced each week. Disputing or arguing with the personal truths and testimony of another person is seen as highly offensive and unrighteous.  

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In addition to personal truths that are subjective and unique to each individual, we also live in a world where there is objective, scientific truth. Like all who are on the path of discovering personal truths, scientific truth undergoes a process of growth, definition and clarity. Many new scientific truths are being researched and shared every day! 

Just as there is a process for discovering truth and receiving personal revelation in Mormonism, there is also a clearly delineated process for discovering and affirming objective scientific truths in the natural world. 

Unlike personal truths that are built on the beliefs of the individual, the process for discovering and affirming objective scientific truths is not about the witness or opinion of the person professing it, but in the evidence or proof of its accuracy. 

From our earliest school lessons, we learn about the Scientific Method – the process by which truths of the world are learned and accepted. We learn to observe, ask a question, form a hypothesis, make a prediction, test the prediction, form a conclusion, and communicate and share what we discover.  Truth that is proved with the scientific method can be certified by other scientists who repeat our experiment and achieve the same result. It can be verified or disproved by observation or experiment. 

When presented with scientific truth, we can ask: “where is the evidence of this truth? What is the source? How is it proved?”  And perhaps most importantly, “can it be disproved?” 

Scientific truth relies on scrutiny! When something is so true that it cannot be disproved and can withstand scrutiny, we can feel more assured and confident of its veracity. We receive confirmation by seeking to disconfirm! 

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Between personal truth, scientific truth, historical or political truth, Latter-Day Saints must know which truth-seeking mechanism to employ for the given circumstance. 

The process of confirming personal truths like “I believe that Jesus is my Savior,” is not the same as proving scientific truths like “Humans need oxygen to live.”  One is a personal truth known only to you, the other is a scientific truth that is true whether you believe it or not. As a  history and government educator often says, “Facts don’t care about your opinion!” 

In this time of rampant misinformation, we might mistakenly use the process for confirming personal truths as a way to ratify scientific, empirical and political truth. 

This is like using a saw to hammer in a nail – it’s a mis-match of the tool and process.  It will confound the truth, not make it more clear. 

By the time I was a young adult, I had years of weekly practice of seeking and verifying my personal religious truths. My religious upbringing encouraged me to accept gospel truths on faith, without needing evidence or proof, or by experimenting to find the confirmations and interpretations on my own. I did not have nearly as much practice or reinforcement of the Scientific method for confirming scientific or absolute truth. The Scientific Method relies on a community of curious people asking questions, gathering evidence and proof through repeated experiment and discovery, and esteems personal witness as less-reliable. Only as an adult have I learned how to base my claims and beliefs on the evidence and proof offered by verified sources who use the most careful Scientific Methods in their areas of expertise. As a musician, I know very little about aspects of science, despite extensive knowledge in my own field. I’ve learned to trust the expertise of other curious minds in the peer-reviewed fields of science and respect the decades of work and research they do to prove their hypotheses and theories, especially since I cannot know everything about every subject. 

Statements of personal truth and testimony are embraced with high honor and credibility regarding religious beliefs in a religious context. But using statements of personal witness and belief in conversation surrounding scientific truths, if absent of scientific methodology, evidence, or proof, in a non-religious context will amplify confusion and miscommunication. 

We can become even more confused when we hear our chosen leaders (elected, political, or social influencers) repeating their personal truths as testimony of a scientific truth without proof or evidence of its validity. When personal truths and scientific claims are mingled together without evidentiary sources, it can be challenging to parse out what is opinion versus what is verifiable fact. When unverified claims get repeated without evidence or proof, we risk creating a chain of personal truth based on the beliefs of one individual instead of sound research strategies. We should avoid holding elected, political or social influences to the status of a prophet whose personal claims can be accepted as uncontested truth. 

Sometimes if we have internalized erroneous scientific or political claims as personal truths, questions from others about the validity of those beliefs can feel like a disputation of our testimony, an affront to our deeply held personal truths. If we mingle personal truth with scientific truth, the process of using scrutiny to refine scientific ideals is thwarted. Since proof and evidence are not required for personal religious truth, it’s tempting to believe that neither proof nor evidence must be necessary in order to hold any number of political or scientific truths. 

When faced with scientific or political truth that may make us uncomfortable, we might feel what seems like a “stupor of thought” – confusion or ignorance. Rather than a sign that the spirit is warning us to stay away, this may be an indicator that we need to do more research. For many of us, our initial reactions to learning about history, racism, prejudice and personal bias may result in a “not good” feeling. We might worry that this means there is something wrong or bad about us or our ancestors.  In these cases we may feel tempted to shy away from discomfort by avoiding such conversations, or deny that the thing itself exists. Instead we could ask ourselves, “What additional research could I do about this? How might I prove or disprove my initial reaction? How can I consult credible and own-voices sources about this?” Rather than believe ourselves to be automatically right, we can search for ways in which we might be wrong. Holding our own ideas up to scrutiny, attempting to prove or disprove our opinions is a healthy self-assessing way of learning and growing. 

When we use scientific methodology to adopt our scientific and political beliefs, we can equip our reasoning with evidence, proof, and repeated experimentation. As scientists refine their knowledge with added experiments, the truth distills and becomes clear.  In this way, our personal truth as informed by scientific truth is in accord and we can communicate with confidence. 

One of our mind’s biggest challenges may come when we encounter scientific evidence or proof which contradicts our existing knowledge or point of view. In the days of Galileo, these contradictions came when he discovered movement in the heavens to support his hypothesis that the earth was not the center of the universe. His views were met with opposition and he was labeled a heretic. Over time, other scientists confirmed the findings of Galileo and added to them. We now accept the scientific truth that the earth orbits the sun, not the other way around. Curiosity, questioning, and a flexibility of mind when it comes to new evidence that might affect our views can be a healthy way to adapt to ever-progressing scientific truth.  

 

How can we communicate both our personal truths and our understanding of the scientific world to others?  Here are some suggestions:

When speaking of beliefs and personal truths, use the language of belief, conviction and opinion. “I believe Jesus is my Savior and that I can be forgiven for my sins.” When speaking of scientific or political claims, consider the sources of evidence you’re using to inform your belief, and be prepared to share those sources with others.  “I believe that masks are an effective way to prevent disease transmission, and here is the peer-reviewed evidence, research studies and information I’m using to make that claim and form that opinion.”  OR “I do not believe that masks are an effective way to prevent disease transmission, and here is the peer-reviewed evidence, research studies and information I’m using to make that claim and form that opinion.” OR “I believe that masks are an effective way to prevent disease transmission, but I do not value preventing disease transmission in this way for these reasons _____.” Consider a wide variety of sources when seeking to verify your scientific claims, including peer-reviewed studies or research. Information that cannot be verified by repeating the experiment and achieving the same result is less reliable. Information that is not shared by multiple sources is generally seen as less reliable. Information shared by a less researched or experienced source is generally seen as less-credible.  Clarify with others if they are sharing personal truth or making scientific claims, “Is that your personal belief? What evidence is informing your position and where did you get that information?”Treat personal beliefs and feelings with respect, treat scientific claims with scrutiny. Be able to discern the difference when someone is mistreating our personal truths versus holding our scientific or political claims up to justifiable scrutiny. Acknowledge and admit when we do not have enough information to make an informed claim. If you do not have enough evidence to make an informed opinion, it’s okay to say so. “I am worried about the integrity of our election, but I do not yet have enough information or evidence to conclude that rampant fraud occurred. I will withhold my opinion until I have been able to prove or disprove my concerns.” 

As we search out knowledge and belief, both personal and absolute, we can use the appropriate means to discover truth. We may feel insight and confirmation of personal truths in our quest to discern scientific truths. Approaching our personal and absolute truths with intention will develop the tenderness of our hearts and the intelligence of our minds. 

How Would Americans Feel if Their Elected Officials Were Picked the Same Way Relief Society Leaders Are?

With all the mayhem in Washington DC happening right after a new senate and congress was seated (and with a new president set to be sworn in next week), I’ve been thinking a lot about how our female representation works in the church. Politics are crazy right now, but at least I know that the people representing my state in the federal government were chosen by the voice of the majority here, and that I was allowed to have a say in that. 

On the other hand, when it comes to my church and relief society representation at high levels, I don’t have any contribution or control over that, and the number of leaders who are female like me are not represented equally at any level.

You see, in the United States government, states with larger populations are given considerably more representation in congress, which makes logical sense to me – the more people there are in one place, the more of them you invite to the table to represent their interests in decisions that directly affect them. With two senators per state, they’re also guaranteed a voice in the capitol, regardless of size. Yet do we do that in church councils, with the representation of women?

No, we definitely do not. Women are 50 percent of the population, yet we regularly fill up between 10 and 25 percent of seats at stake and ward councils, and as low as 0 to 15 percent on general councils. Throughout the history of the church, many committees and meetings have been for priesthood holders only (such as the Council on the Disposition of Tithes, or Repentance and Church Membership Councils), and others have recently invited only one single woman on to them (such as the Priesthood and Family Council or Missionary Executive Council). This wouldn’t work well for a fair representative government, and I don’t think it works ideally anywhere, especially not in a church that affects our daily lives so intimately.

In decision making meetings, there’s often only one or two women in a sea of suits.

Frustratingly, there are also no women in positions of true authority in the church. General authorities are only men. While we do have female leaders and female general officers, nobody actually reports to say, the stake relief society president. The ward relief society president reports to the bishop, who reports to the stake president, who reports on up the chain to exclusively men. The stake relief society president is there to do things such as plan the annual stake relief society luncheon, provide encouragement and moral support to ward relief society presidencies (the selection of which she had no participation in), visit ward conferences, and… I’m not sure exactly what else. With those luncheon planning responsibilities under her belt, she’s literally the most powerful woman in the entire stake. (To be clear, this is not to downplay the amount of work that a stake relief society president does – which is immense – but rather to point out her lack of authority to make exclusive final decisions for the women in her stake without priesthood oversight or veto power.)

It was only in 2014 that female leaders were first added to the general authority chart, and they remain a very small section at the bottom of the page.

Despite these major issues of underrepresentation and lack of authority, what’s really catching my attention in the midst of political unrest is the fact that these few women in leadership roles are not chosen by the women they will (kind of) be in a leadership position over. Rather, they are hand selected by the men that will be in charge of them.

What if the federal government worked this way? Would anyone feel truly represented? What if the president of the United States came to each state, spent some time getting to know the constituents, then picked on his own a couple senators and representatives to take back to Washington D.C. with him? Once back in the Capitol, I don’t think many people would feel satisfied by him saying, “Look, I brought some people from your state that I carefully chose to represent you, and that means I’m getting plenty of input from you guys!”.

I think people would argue back, “Mr. President, you picked a submissive, unopinionated senator who thinks you’re super awesome, will always agree with you, and supports your decisions without exception, so….how does that represent us? Aren’t they just there to come back and report to us what YOU decided to do?”

The president might reply (if he sounds at all like some church members I know), “Uggh, you people are never happy! You could live in North Korea or Afghanistan or somewhere that doesn’t even care what your state thinks! You should be grateful we work so hard to include you at all by flying your representatives all the way out here.”

According to this excerpt from church handbook instructions, the relief society president is recommended, approved, and called by her male bishopric – not the women in her organization.

When it’s organized like this, how is the Relief Society a great “women’s organization” if the men in charge pick all of our leaders for us, then decide unilaterally exactly how much they will/will not seek input from any of them before setting our policies, writing our lesson manuals, visiting teaching messages, and giving the keynote addresses at all of our conferences? How often are lessons on Sunday the teachings of past general relief society presidents (never), compared to past male general authorities (years and years of “Teachings of the Presidents of the Church” comes to mind)? How many conference talks do we study given by female leaders compared to male leaders? How many times are female leaders quoted in lesson manuals compared to prophets and apostles? How are we anything on Sundays but a group of women gathering together to learn about and discuss the great things the men in our church have previously said and done?

It sounds to me like a male run organization with female advisors, that happens to only allow female members.

A quick google search for “Relief Society classroom” yielded many images of male church leaders hanging on the walls. I was unable to find any that had general relief society presidents hanging in them.

Likewise, it’s very easy to find images online of relief society bulletin boards where every image, quote and lesson is from a male church leader.

Beyond not choosing our female leaders ourselves, we have zero input on who the male leaders will be that do the choosing. This is not the case for men, who despite not choosing their own elder’s quorum president, do not suffer equally. When a stake president is choosing a new bishop (for example), my understanding is that he will talk to the current bishop, the high councilman from that ward, maybe bishopric counselors, high priest group leader, or whatever priesthood leadership in the ward he chooses to seek input from. (I actually wrote a whole blog post about it once HERE.) So men ARE involved in the choosing of the next bishop, who then chooses their next elder’s quorum president. Additionally, if a man is uncomfortable with the leadership choices in his ward or stake, there’s at least a possibility that he might have a turn being in charge someday and could run things differently. That will never happen for a woman.

There’s the argument that all callings come from God, so it doesn’t matter who issues them. As a woman who’s never been (and never can be, without priesthood) in a position to extend callings to anyone in the church, I don’t know firsthand how callings are chosen. I did, however, take a popular institute class years ago from a well loved teacher. One day this instructor offered us a glimpse into his experience serving as a bishop. He was open and honest and joked, “You know, I’d say about 10 percent of the time callings were pure inspiration, and the other 90 percent was just pure desperation”. Everyone laughed as he explained having a backup list of callings to offer people if they turned him down for the first one. He taught me that a bishop is often overwhelmed with the constant work of staffing a ward with ever changing volunteers, and he’s usually satisfied to reach a point of basic function, not heavenly perfection.

Because of this, a bishop will generally call reliable ward members that he feels comfortable working with into leadership positions. A relief society president is not chosen by the voice of the women in her organization, she’s chosen by the man in charge of them.

How will women’s concerns ever be directly addressed under this male-only authority structure? And how long will we continue to call the Relief Society a female led organization when it’s clearly not? Can anyone imagine the riots that would occur in the U.S. Capitol if American citizens were treated the way Latter-day Saint women are, underrepresented and unable to select their own representatives?

We’ve got to do better than we are right now, both as Americans and as Latter-day Saints – and I personally think it’s high time to let some women start leading us there.

Thou Shalt Not Judge

There have been a great number of confrontational interactions between friends and family members online in the last week.  Of course this is nothing new, but I have noticed a pattern that has given me pause.  I was an observer to an exchange between two women in my ward – one an outspoken Democrat, the other equally staunchly a supporter of Trump.  The former made a post wondering if finally Trump supporters would remove their blinders, or admit they were stupid, or admit they supported the insurrection.  It was certainly not conciliatory in tone, but she also did not call out anyone in particular.  The other woman, however, responded as if they entire post had been specifically directed at her.  What followed was a rather acrimonious chain of comments, but what particularly struck me was that the woman who took offense framed her defense entirely around being Christlike.  That the Savior taught us not to judge.  The Savior said love everyone.  She had thought plenty of unkind things about the other side but she never said them.  Trash talking needs to stop if we want unity.  A separate, but similar, exchange included the aphorism “Disagree without being disagreeable.” I want to emphasize that the rest of this post is not specifically about the conversation between women in my ward. This is merely the incident that got me thinking, because I’ve heard these kinds of exchanges before and they trouble me.

This question of what it means to judge someone has really wormed its way into my heart this week.  The premise seems to be that because the Savior warned us not to judge others, we are never allowed to think or speak condemningly of anyone.  There can be no social consequences for what we do or say. That becomes problematic the instant we think of the criminal justice system.  If Christ was asking us to not judge, what business have we saying a murderer should not roam the streets?

I do not think that the Savior meant “never evaluate the actions and words of others.  Never confront others about the way their actions and words have hurt you.  Always trust and associate with people no matter how they treat you.”  At a very base line, I think the phrase “thou shalt not judge” means we should never presume to know the relationship that another person has with God, regardless of how their actions appear.  The comment policy on this blog reflects that – we delete comments that question another person’s righteousness or testimony.  I believe it is wrong to say “you don’t wear garments, you must not have a testimony” or “she cheated on her husband, she must not care about the Commandments.”  Those kinds of judgements are the Lord’s – the state of the soul, the final eternal outcomes… those are not ours to judge.  I think the phrase “thou shalt not judge” means we should, as often as possible, operate from a position of grace. Whenever you can, assume good intentions and that someone is acting in good faith. Give someone the space to change.

I also agree, as far as it goes, with the statement “disagree without being disagreeable.”  But I don’t think it means “never say something that might offend someone else.”  Nephi rebuked his brothers sharply, and they were offended.  He responded

“I knew that I had spoken hard things against the wicked, according to the truth; and the righteous have I justified, and testified that they should be lifted up at the last day; wherefore, the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center.”  

1 Nephi 16:12

Nephi and his brothers weren’t having a difference of opinion – how best to discipline children, what holiday traditions matter, which fantasy series is the best.  Nephi was explaining to them the vision of the Tree of Life, and that their pattern of behavior was wrong, was hurting people here and now, and would lead generations of people astray.

We should avoid being disagreeable when it comes to matters like watching TV on Sunday afternoon, or breast v. bottle feeding.  But avoiding being disagreeable should not extend to biting our tongues when it comes to warnings of false traditions and reasoning. It is hard to be told you have said or acted in a way that was homophobic, bigoted, racist, insensitive etc.  I know this because on occasion I have had students come to me privately, or told me in their student evaluations, that the way I phrased or approached something was hurtful or insensitive.  It wasn’t my intent, but my intent is not the point.  Like most people, my initial internal reaction is to feel quite defensive.  But having these conversations has helped me to be a better teacher, and my classroom a safer space for everyone.  The burden was not on my students to avoid offending me when they told me the truth.  The burden was on me to recognize my error and repent.  It was disagreeable to hear hard truths, but that was not because my students failed to be “nice.”  I’m grateful my students felt safe enough with me that they could tell me my shortcomings straight out, knowing I wouldn’t respond punitively and I actually cared enough to try to be better.

I know that the readership of this blog is not limited to the United States, nor are American concerns the only ones that matter.  My experience is currently very caught up in the Presidential transition of power, but I think these issues have resonance far beyond this specific context.  I also don’t have answers really, mostly just questions.

There have been a great many calls for unity of late, and I of course want unity too.  But how can we be “one” if we don’t agree on what reality is, or what problems are real?  It is possible to be cordial to someone who has hurt you, or who has acted reprehensibly. But is it possible to be unified if there is no repentance?  I know it is my responsibility to forgive everyone, regardless of their repentance, but can I ever be of one heart and one mind with someone who knows they hurt me and they do not care? What do you think it means to judge someone? Is it ever appropriate to judge someone? How can you avoid being disagreeable while still speaking the hard truths? Is avoiding being disagreeable in itself always the best course?  How can we avoid weaponizing the teachings of the Savior in our discussions with other people? How can we avoid using them as excuses for our own choices?

Growing Towards a Cosmopolitan Mormonism

Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge in Northern Ireland

I was raised with a strong dose of Mormon Exceptionalism. Rather than seeing other Christians as siblings in the Church of Christ, I was taught the narrative of the One True Church. I internalized the idea that people of other religious traditions had some truth, but that we had the full truth. That other people did good in the world, but that we did God’s work.

I exasperate myself even typing that, but it was a frequent message I received as a child.

Over time I came to see that as an unhealthy mindset. While growing out of that mindset is part of a natural maturation process for many, it is an idea that I still see taught and reinforced by members and in Church materials.

Both because of my interests in Mormon history and my discomfort with the One True Church narrative, I took great interest in Peggy Fletcher Stack’s interview with Richard Lyman Bushman for the Salt Lake Tribune, as well as the interview she and David Noyce had with him for the Mormon Land podcast. Richard is the husband of Claudia Lauper Bushman, a founding mother of modern Mormon feminism and a co-founder of The Exponent II. He is an accomplished scholar in his own right as an emeritus history professor of Columbia University and is best known in Mormon circles for his landmark biography, Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling.

Bushman’s interviews covered many topics, but I took interest in his discussion of the tensions inherent in Mormons becoming a more cosmopolitan people. He said, “By cosmopolitanism, I mean that we’re suddenly able to see ourselves as others see us and we can picture ourselves as one religion among a number of religions and a number of viewpoints. We can see how Mormonism looks from a global view.” As members increasingly engage with the broader world from a position of influence and power (both in terms of positions held by members and the financial strength of the Church), we are required to see ourselves from new perspectives.

Becoming a cosmopolitan faith, as I understand Bushman’s argument, pushes members to evaluate their core beliefs, discover how to express those beliefs on a world stage, and reconcile how some of our practices are problematic (he mentions the way we treat women and LGBTQ people as two examples). The challenge is to hold to core unique doctrines and beliefs while recognizing we are one people and belief system among many peoples and belief systems.

I was encouraged by his final thought in the article: “The ultimate good end of cosmopolitanism is to recognize that the work of God is going to be handled by the 99.9% of the population that’s not Mormon. It can’t just be this tiny speck of a church.”

The work of God is not limited to Mormons. The work of God, as I see it most simply and most powerfully, is to love our neighbors as ourselves. The work of God is primarily done by people who are not Mormon.

What a relief.

It is so nice to be able to see and embrace and learn from the goodness of other people. While Joseph Smith certainly taught an expansive vision of truth and intelligence, my Mormon upbringing taught me to fear veering outside of Church approved sources and ideas. While the One True Church narrative may be useful in creating a cohesive group and culture, it is rocky soil from which to grow.

I find it incredibly liberating to read and listen and engage far and wide without feeling the need to fit what I find into my tiny, correlated, Mormon box. My roots can deepen and my branches expand when my history, traditions, and beliefs aren’t hostilely defended against other people, but can be part of a larger, symbiotic ecosystem.

Reaching for a cosmopolitan perspective that values tradition but is not limited by it reminds me of Jon Ogden’s arguments in his book When Mormons Doubt: A Way to Save Relationships and Seek a Quality Life. He writes that balancing truth, goodness, and beauty brings richer relationships and a more quality life. As my faith has matured, finding the balance of these things has been a struggle and at times immensely painful, but has nurtured me to a place of healthier growth.  

The opposite approach, or needing everything I encounter to fit within my existing beliefs or be rejected, feels small and potentially violent. Groupthink, conspiracy theories, and culture battles thrive when only one group can be right. I’ve seen much of this mindset on social media lately and it worries me, not so much because I think it is crazy, but because it feels so familiar. I know that for individuals this way of thinking damages relationships, but on a large scale, it rips countries apart and crushes marginalized people in the process.

The most exhilarating part for me of a more cosmopolitan mindset is the freedom to be wrong—to reevaluate, question, doubt, and get cozy with uncertainty. When I find myself in error, I can change my beliefs and actions without fearing that my foundation will crumble or my entire belief system will fall apart. A living, breathing Mormonism does not insist that oxygen is the exclusive right of Mormons.

In elementary school, I deeply offended “Tina,” a Catholic friend of mine, when on a playdate I assured her that her church probably had some truth, but that the gospel had been restored to my church, and we had the full truth. On Sunday, I shared my “missionary” experience in Primary and received accolades. On Monday, I learned through mutual friends that Tina didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I was baffled. How could my sharing truth with her hurt her feelings? Wasn’t this exactly what I was taught to do?

Sadly, I did not learn my lesson with Tina. It took me years, and many more experiences of perceiving my beliefs as the True and Right beliefs before broadening my understanding that there were other ways of thinking and being that were just as good and true and worthwhile. While there are teachings of the Church I still hold sacred, I do not believe them to be inherently better than other people’s beliefs that lead them towards love.

I am a Mormon woman, but I no longer believe that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the One True Church. And yet, Mormons are my people, and their history is my history. It gives me hope to be able to see myself as a Mormon woman in the world and also as just a small, singular person in a big, wide, beautiful world.

Baptism of Christ and White Christian Nationalism

White Christian nationalists outside of the Capitol Building in Washington, DC on January 6, 2021. Photo by Brett Davis (no modifications, CC BY-NC 2.0).

On January 2, I agreed to preach on the Baptism of Christ for January 10 for the Toronto Community of Christ congregation. I did not anticipate that I would need to respond to a major US crisis in doing so. Here is my sermon. Please note that I had to complete the sermon about 30 hours after the attacks on the Capitol Building, so that the sermon could be translated into French and Spanish in time for Sunday’s service. As a result, some of what I say about the event might not be correct now, but seemed correct at the time of writing. For example, it turns out that police did resist those who broke into the Capitol Building, but were not prepared to resist a large violent mob.

Before Christmas, I kept reading articles and watching advent-themed videos that asked me to consider “what was being born in me” today? I struggled to answer that question, but felt sadness at the increasing numbers of deaths I was seeing all around me and that touched my own family. I kept asking myself where I saw something good emerging, but that that was a hard question to answer. I could only see grief and loss and suffering related to the pandemic. I was also reminded that the birthing part of “being born” was never an easy thing, but an exhausting physical struggle to give life to something new that involved a great deal of pain, some screaming, and a lot of blood. So, what was being born? For me, the answer that emerges is complex.

This past Wednesday, armed supporters of the President broke into the US Capitol building with little resistance from the police. Their goal was to disrupt the certification process for the recent US elections as an act of terrorism. For a country that holds democracy so dear, this was devastating to watch. As a clergyperson speaking to you today and as a professor who will teach students tomorrow, it is difficult to speak to such a moment in time, where we are still learning what happened and is happening and processing our thoughts and feelings.

It happened on January 6, the day when many Christians celebrated the feast of Epiphany, where we remember the wise men who visited Jesus and Herod the tyrant, who did everything he could to fight off threats to his power. Echoes of that story seemed to play out on Wednesday. It is and was an awful story, but not a unique one.

Guided by the materials put out by the World Church during the last year, we have been asking and discussing the question “Are we moving toward Jesus, the peaceful one?” In answer to this question and in the wake of Wednesday’s events, Community of Christ social media people posted Doctrine & Covenants section 163 verse 3B, which reads “Courageously challenge cultural, political, and religious trends that are contrary to the reconciling and restoring purposes of God. Pursue peace.” It is in the vein of this scriptural charge that I want to speak today.

At the end of the nineteenth century, there were fears that American Christianity had been too influenced by women – that the church had become “feminized.” As a response to this, parts of the white Christian community in the United States embraced a militant and hyper-masculinized interpretation of Jesus that is not found in the Gospels. It is a false gospel of social hierarchies, of power over others, of God as an overlord ruling a harsh world of loyal despots. If you followed the news this week, you probably saw white folks breaking into the Capitol building carrying flags that read “Jesus 2020” together with confederate flags that symbolize slavery and oppression of Black people, and flags that declared lies about who won the US election. These flags are evidence of this militant brand of white nationalistic Christianity, which has thrived in recent decades.

I see many on social media surprised that violent political rhetoric of the past few years has turned into actual physical violence, together with the insistence that “this is not who we are.” These claims do not resonate with my experience, as I have seen all of these same people in my community, flying the same flags, showing up to peaceful demonstrations armed with guns and dressed in military-style fatigues. They claim they are there to defend our community from peaceful protestors, as though we must be protected from the hard truths the protestors are telling: of the difficulty of being people of color in the United States and in our community, of the experiences of police harassment and brutality. 

Meanwhile, I see many voices at the margins of society reminding us that this is who we have always been. When people without power have protested at the Capitol building, they were not met with the same police welcome as those on Wednesday. Black folks have been met with police violence. Protesting nuns have been met with police violence. Native Americans have been met with police violence. Disability activists have been met with police violence. These are old truths that we have forgotten or denied: when people without power and privilege ask for their dignity and humanity to be affirmed by those with power and privilege, they will be met with violence. It is almost our unspoken national policy. Those breaking into the Capitol building on Wednesday, however, were not seeking affirmations of dignity or humanity, but rather demanding that reality should conform to the lies they had been told by a tyrant desperate to hold onto power. 

I want to ask where is God in all of this? But I wonder if it might be more pressing to ask who is God in all of this? 

This image of a demanding God who justifies violence is not limited to the fringes of Christian extremists, but one that is deeply familiar to me. This is the image of God I grew up with, the God I have worshipped for a good chunk of my life: a physically strong and powerful perfected man who defeats his enemies through the use of force, who blesses the loyal obedient and labels everyone else as wicked, a God who created social hierarchies of men over women, and white people over everyone else, who rejects those who are different because of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability. To be clear, this is not the God I believe in today, but I wonder if this image is also familiar to you?

In this version of God, God looks more like Herod, who upholds in the Roman Empire an elaborate system of oppression, than Jesus who spent so much time with the oppressed of that same empire. Does our image of God center on God’s purpose of reconciliation, or is our image of God based on something else? 

At the beginning of Mark, we see that Jesus’ ministry kicks off not with a demonstration of physical power or force, but with baptism. Jesus visited a marginalized man from the wilderness offering a baptism of repentance. John the Baptist wore uncouth clothing and ate unconventional foods. He was a person on the edge of society, though many realized that the baptism he offered added meaning to their lives. Jesus also sought meaning from this man without social capital. Those who wanted baptism confessed their sins and went into the water. They told the truth about themselves, owning their self-deceit and the harm they inflicted on themselves and others. 

And when Jesus came out of the water, God declared that Jesus was loved. And so his ministry began with declarations of truth and affirmations of divine love and connection. This, I think, is the peaceful Jesus that stands in opposition to the militarized version, the Jesus that recognizes the value and gifts of those at the edges of society, the Jesus who is unafraid of the truth and unafraid to speak his truth to those at the edges and hear the truths of others. This sounds like peacemaking and empathy to me. This sounds like justice and accountability.

People have interpreted the story of Jesus’ baptism in many different ways throughout Christian history. Baptism became Christianity’s initiation ritual. In fifth century Italy, baptism sometimes took place in a dedicated building called a baptistery. The ritual took place by candlelight during the night before Easter, creating a dramatic setting. In this context, baptism was seen as a contractual agreement between the person being baptized and Christ and the sculptures and mosaics that decorated baptisteries emphasized these ideas. 

Piero della Francesca’s Baptism of Christ, created in fifteenth century Italy, is a work of art that is familiar to many students of art history. Jesus is represented as having a perfect youthful body, as though he was a marble statue of an ancient Greek hero. This isn’t exactly the same as the militaristic Christ, but in both versions, there is a lot of emphasis on Jesus’ masculine body and strength. This painting emphasizes order and Renaissance ideas about perfection, where baptism is part of God’s perfect and orderly kingdom. 

As a Mormon kid, I was taught that baptism represented death, burial, and resurrection, and baptism was my ticket to heaven.

I’m not sure that Military Jesus, Contract Jesus, Greek Hero Jesus, or Heavenly Ticket Jesus are readings of the baptism story that offer much wisdom in this moment as we try to figure out how to follow Jesus, the peaceful one during a time of national crisis.

If we are interested in walking the Jesus way, in forming ourselves as disciples of a peaceful Jesus, perhaps what happens in the story of the baptism is a model to follow. We can begin by owning up to our own difficult truths through the practice of confession. Where have we deceived ourselves this year? Are we holding onto an image of Jesus that hurts others and ourselves? Where have we gone wrong? What needs healing? Can we find the courage to engage in this kind of reflection?

As far as my own confession goes, 2020 was not my best year. And for much of it, I was not my best self. Early last summer, I failed to reach out to a friend when she needed me and I lost that friendship. To avoid more stress, I retreated into myself and held others at a distance, which created feelings of disconnection and sadness. Someone hurt me and I let my feelings fester so that I created a grudge. I had a disagreement with a family member and I still need to have a conversation with that person to restore the relationship. I was not a good communicator with my spouse. I was not a good colleague, doing much less than I normally would to make relationships work smoothly. I held onto anger and struggled to push through it. 

Though I do not wish to excuse myself, I was also not alone in this. I imagine that many of us can point to days, weeks, and months where we were not our best selves, where we were trying to survive the pandemic, deal with anxiety and depression, push life forward, and maybe eat a vegetable. I think that we should have compassion for ourselves and others in the many things we have experienced and survived during this difficult year. But naming what went wrong for us individually allows us to consider how to make things better in the present. We can hold ourselves accountable for our actions. 

And at the same time, I also hope that my best self will show up a lot more in the coming months. I like being my best self. I imagine that many of us do. So how do we get back there? How do we once again grow a well of patience to draw from and find the strength and energy to reach out to others in our families and communities? How do we locate excitement and enthusiasm for moving through the world once more? How do we get there? 

The story of Jesus’ baptism says that after the confession and immersion in the river, Jesus had a profound experience of the love of God. I wonder if the urgency of local and national crises and the demands of the pandemic, on top of the usual difficulties of life, have caused you, like they have caused me, to feel more at a distance from the sources of love in your life. Whether we experience the love of God through individual spiritual practice, during time with friends and family, or in worship with our church communities and others, we have probably experienced much less of it this year. Loving connection grounds us, keeps us accountable to those we love, and fortifies us against the kinds of fear and fear-mongering that can be abused by powerful people. Perhaps the story of Jesus’ baptism invites us to rekindle, repair, and reconcile relationships that have become strained or estranged this year. I am my best self when I act and speak from a place of feeling  loved, valued, and like I belong. I want to get back to that place of loving belonging.

I think that the events of this past week are, in part, a culmination of what we, as a society, get when we mistake lies for the truth, loyalty for love, violence as a necessary part of peacemaking, and false images of God with the God of Reconciliation. Perhaps what is being born in us is a desire to confess what has gone wrong in the last year and to repair relationships in an effort to create more meaningful connections with others. May we also pay attention to the longing for peace and justice that emerges from so many places in our communities and be willing to hear those who are telling uncomfortable truths. May we find Jesus, the peaceful one in our work as we do.

Pray with me.

God of Reconciliation,
Help us to tell the truth about our lives and communities 
and to be willing to hear others do the same. 
Call is into loving connection
Remind us to love our neighbor
Even when that feels impossible.
Guide us toward reconciliation with ourselves and others
And away from false images of you, God, 
that create so much harm in our world.
Amen.

My sermon begins at the 32:00 minute mark.

Dear LDS Woman: It’s Time to Break Your Own Heart

Time after time, I have been on the receiving end of hearing girlfriends complain about being single. I’ve grown used to hearing tales of other young single adults who whine and throw tantrums when their knight in shining armor doesn’t come swooping in on a white horse to whisk them away for time and all eternity. 

As easy as it is to judge these individuals for their apparent desperation, I used to be one of these girls. As countless young girls around the world have done, I created a fairytale of what my life could be. Now as an adult, I’ve realized how silly and far-fetched most of those make-believe endings truly were.

It’s one in the morning as I type this article. Other than the soft croon of Erykah Badu’s Tyrone via the television, everyone around me has drifted off to the world of the Sandman. Yet, as I sit here frantically typing these words, I feel immense gratitude for my insomnia. 

You see, this is my thinking time. My best ideas come after midnight. The most powerful spiritual breakthroughs come at this time. I plan my week for my Instagram blog and journal whenever the mood strikes. Tonight, is no different.

As I sit here, the only thing that comes to mind, is the importance of establish a strong foundation of self-worth. You may be asking yourself why this is suddenly so important. It’s because until recently, I misplaced my self-worth by believing that unless it was tied to my relationship status or my future husband that there was no need to continue being the strong feminist woman that I am.

Recently, I backed out of the possibility of a relationship with someone who despite their best attempts to make me happy just didn’t evoke strong enough feelings. Although this was the right decision, I second guessed myself for hurting someone else. I told myself that I should’ve lied and stuck it out and that a relationship meant I had something in common with my other friends. 

I began to feel unloved and unwanted even when I knew the decision was the right one. 

I told myself that I was now older than my mother was when she gave birth to me. I told myself that my biological clock was ticking faster. I believed that I could lie and forget my own happiness and sense of self. 

 

Then I remembered. It wasn’t my job to fix anyone. It wasn’t my role to take all the weight upon my shoulders. I immediately began to cut myself some slack and tried my hardest to tell myself kind things in the following days as I adapted to my new reality without this person as a romantic prospect in my life. 

Now if you’re reading this, your situation may be different from mine. It might include toxic family members, church callings and members who overstep and disrespect, or even a partner who has done you dirty that you’re trying to forgive or you just may be a young single adult just like me who is struggling in the path of singleness, settling for the bare minimum in your dating life. 

Ladies, with your sassiest neck-roll, remind yourself that it’s not your responsibility alone to fix someone. It’s not your job to be the “fixer” who resets everything back into place. Remember that your self-worth is not tied to anyone and that it can only be built by you instead of being validated by others. 

And sisters, if it comes down to removing people who disturb your peace…it’s time for you to break your own heart.