Exponent II's Blog, page 105

God Did’t Command Polygamy so Let’s Stop Saying That

Brigham Young and some of the women married to him

Growing up in the 80s my parents purchased a full set of dramatized scripture cassette tapes from the Living Scriptures which included all the LDS standard works plus stories from church history. (Suddenly feeling a bit ancient after typing ‘cassette tape.’) I often listened to these tapes while falling asleep at night which is how one night I learned about polygamy. There are many ways to inform youth about difficult topics; leaving them to find out about it on their own is definitely not an approach I suggest as helpful. At the time, I did not recognize or have the language to describe the horror and resulting trauma I experienced hearing Helen Mar Kimball’s story of being sealed to Joseph Smith as a reward for her father Heber Kimball’s willingness to offer his wife Vilate to Joseph when asked by Joseph. As a fourteen-year-old, was my fate the same as Helen’s? Would my parents sacrifice me as Helen’s father, relieved not to give his wife, sacrificed and abandoned Helen? 

In my 20s, I excelled at mental pretzel twists to justify polygamy. This Square Two post details the same thought process I had even as I found polygamy increasingly horrifying. Zina Hungtinton’s heartbreaking story in  Four Zinas: A Story of Mothers and Daughters on the Mormon Frontier particularly bothered me. I started questioning polygamy yet also still accepted the justifications that polygamy was necessary to ‘raise up seed’ for God (Jacob 2), that God had commanded Abraham to take Hagar as a wife so polygamy by early church members was acceptable (D&C 132), and that polygamy was a restortation of all things ancient (D&C 132).

Justifications

Let’s take a look at those justifications. Do polygamous marriages ‘raise up seed’ by increasing a society’s fertility rate? A quick internet search produces a number of academic peer-reviewed studies that say no. Polygamous males do have more children than monogamous males while polygamous females have the same or fewer children as they would in monogamous marriages. Additionally, polygamous societies have more single males than monogamous societies. This higher rate of single males means more males do not have the opportunity to have the children they would have in a monogamous society. (Why are the men who are unable to marry because other men have multiple wives forgotten in the polygamy conversation?) The result is that polygamy does not increase a society’s birth rate which means polygamy does not ‘raise up seed.’  It’s tempting to say something snarky such as who would have thought that females are human beings with a limited reproductive capacity who can’t be programmed to efficiently pump out more product – the product being children. Snark aside, here are links to a few of the many articles I found:  Polygyny and the Rate of Population Growth, Fertility of Polygamous Marraiges, Polygamy in West Africa: Impacts on Fertility, Fertility Intentions and Family Planning. Bonus if you have access to JSTOR or other online journal access to conduct your own literature review. For those who want a quick summary specific to Mormon pioneer-era polygamy fertility, read this article: Mormon Polygamists Shared the Flaws of the Fruit Fly. 

The ‘raise up seed’ phrase in Jacob 2:30 is often interpreted as a reference to polygamy. However, it is important to actually read the verse because it doesn’t say that polygamy is what will be commanded. We, meaning, church culture, have inferred this interpretation. Reading verses 26-30 as a paragraph, I learn that people practicing chastity, which I understand as abstaining from pre-marital and extramaritial sex, is important to God while whoredoms, another word for adultery, is not acceptable behavior. Reading further, I learn that whoredoms/adultery/polygamy are not acceptable because of the pain it causes other people. Anyone familiar with stories of pioneer-era polygamy knows the horror many experienced. Many of us have felt the haunting pain of polygamy lingering in our scriptures, class discussions, and sealing polices and know that polygamy is definitely a ghost that needs exorcising. As for circumstances where behavior that would normally be considered a whoredom might be sanctioned because it actually does raise up seed, the only instance that comes to mind is the story of Tamar. Her husband died and, due to laws at the time, her only option to have children was through one of her husband’s brothers. Because her father-in-law Judah did not fulfill his responsibility to marry one of his other sons to her, she found a way to become pregnant by him. 

We are commanded to learn by study and by faith. Hooray for social scientists who study these issues and have provided us with information about the effects of polygamy on fertitily rates. We now know better than to justify polgamy with the excuse of increased fertility that does not actually happen.  Let’s recognize that with more knowledge, we can do better than to continue recycling this justification.

Moving on. Did God command Abraham to take Hagar as a wife? Here again is where it is important to actually read the scriptures. Genesis 16:2-3 tells us that Sarah requested that Abraham go into her maid and “gave her (Hagar) to her husband Abram to be his wife.” Under laws of the time, Hagar belonged to Sarah. Hagar was an enslaved person with no choices regarding what happened to her body or her life. While Sarah and Abraham’s actions regarding Hager were lawful, it was not moral of them to take away Hagar’s agency. My heart aches for Hagar. Let’s stop attributing Abraham and Sarah’s actions to God. Let’s also understand Sarah’s actions by learning how females in patriarchal societies are valued for what their bodies can produce so we can instead value females as whole human beings. Let’s stop justifying Abraham and Sarah’s abuse of Hagar’s body by saying the ends justifies the means because many people descended from Hagar. 

Pause. I must sit for a moment and hope for healing for all of those in this story, including those who inherited generational trauma. This is why I believe the gospel – the good news of Christ Jesus who lived, died, and was resurrected – is about the gift of healing. 

Finally, let’s consider the justification for polygamy as a restoration of all things ancient. There are many practices from the ancient world that nobody is clamoring to restore – enslavement of adults and children, stoning, human sacrifice, sexual slavery, and genocide to name a few. Just because people did something a long time ago does not mean it was God ordained then and needs to be practiced now. We also misunderstand restoration if we view it primarily as a restoration of things or practices. Patrick Mason in Restoration: God’s Call to the 21st-Century World explains how restoration refers to a restoration of people. In this book he shares the interesting history of how our understanding of restoration was influenced by restorationist religious movements in the United States in the early 1800s. His book is worth reading in order to examine our views regarding the meaning and purpose of restoration. 

What Next?

Now knowing that these common justifications for polygamy do not justify polygamy, where to go from here regarding this topic? We can look to Mormon pioneers for an example. During the 40+ years of building the Salt Lake Temple, there were several instances when construction did not meet the standard of “building not for today or tomorrow but for all eternity.” Construction that did not meet this standard was undone and rebuilt. Did people at the time worry about how redoing work might reflect on the previous work done, the veracity of the church’s truth claims, or leaders’ priesthood authority? I don’t know. I don’t know if everyone was in agreement about the need to re-do work, if some people were scared, if some people were enthusiastic, or if some people were annoyed. All I know is that they re-did work that did not meet the objective to construct a high quality building.

What is the work of the church today? Hopefully it is bringing people to Christ, building a community of disciples, and supporting people as we grow, develop, heal and become whole. The doctrine of polygamy still present in our beliefs and temple practices actively harms that work and it needs to be ripped out. 

There are many questions regarding marriage relationships after this life. Some may ask about people who have more than one spouse during their lifetime. There are people in my family of origin, extended family, and ward family who have endured deaths of beloved spouses. All the people I know have remarried. It is a sensitive topic because each person – females and males – love both their deceased spouses and their current living spouse. Do past practices of lived polygamy mean that polygamy as practiced by early church members is necessary in the next life to allow for the variety of situations surrounding death, divorce, and remarriage in the next life? I say no. We know so little of what the next life will be like, despite what Doctrine and Covenants 132 says. This section, as the kids say, is sus. One reason this section bothers me is that the language about wives treats women as objects to be obtained by men. I do not believe that my Heavenly Parents see me as an object. Ever since the first time I read this section as a teen, I feel nauseous when I read it. I trust my body because it doesn’t lie. It consistently tells me that not everything in this section is from God.

Even during Joseph Smith’s life, the practice and understanding of polygamy evolved. Why can’t we as the church evolve now? We can recognize that early church members hopefully did their best and we can honor their sacrifice and willingness to try to figure things out. We can also acknowledge that in the practice of polygmay things happened that were not ok with God. Church members do not need to justify the doctrine or practice of polygamy because the church will not crumble to pieces if it is admited that the collective understanding about this topic was incorrect. The church as an institution can do what the builders of the Salt Lake Temple did and rip out something that does not assist in the work of bringing people to Christ and offering healing. Whatever answers exist regarding marriage relationships in the next life cannot be built on the cracked foundation of polygamy.

Note: Because polygamy has been a challenging topic for me to digest, I had not read Ghost of Eternal Polygamy by Carol Lynn Pearson prior to writing this post. I have since started reading it and while it is painful to hear the stories of both people who lived this and people haunted by this practice, it provides what I consider essential information about this topic. I look forward to reading the second to last chapter which is titled “Toward a Partnership Tomorrow.”

Come Follow Me: 2 Kings 17–25 “He Trusted in the Lord God of Israel”

…and so did she.

We’re going to talk about the prophet Huldah, who was a woman. But first, some background.

In 2 Kings 21, we read about the wicked reigns of Manasseh and Amon over the kingdom of Judah. Manasseh reined for 55 years. He spent that time establishing idolatry (2 Kings 21:2-9), desecrating the temple (2 Kings 21:4-5) and committing acts of violence (2 Kings 21:16). The people of Judah followed his lead:

…Manasseh seduced them to do more aevil than did the nations whom the Lord destroyed before the children of Israel.

2 Kings 21:9

When Manasseh died, his equally wicked son Amon took the throne, but governed for only two years before he was assassinated (2 Kings 21:18-23). That is how Amon’s son, Josiah, became king of Judah at the wee age of 8 years old (2 Kings 22:1). Thanks to the influence of his late father and grandfather, King Josiah inherited a wicked nation.

Josiah, the Reformer

But King Josiah was not like his predecessors.

2 And he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord, and walked in all the way of David his father, and turned not aside to the right hand or to the left.

2 Kings 22:2

What might it mean to not turn aside to the right or the left?

This is all the more surprising when we learn that by that time (just two generations before the destruction of Jerusalem in 587 B.C.) the written law of Moses had been lost and was virtually unknown, even among the priests of the temple.

—President Spencer W. Kimball, How Rare a Possession: the Scriptures, Ensign, September 1976

How do people develop Christ-like attributes even without the benefits of positive role models or scripture study?
Why is it important to remember that Christ-like people can come from any background?

2 Chronicles describes how King Josiah had a spiritual awakening at the age of 16, and began a mission to purge his kingdom of idolatry at the age of 20.

3 ¶ For in the eighth year of his reign, while he was yet young, he began to aseek after the God of David his father: and in the twelfth year he began to bpurge Judah and Jerusalem from the high places, and the groves, and the carved images, and the molten images.

2 Chronicles 34:3

At the age of 26, King Josiah began restoring the temple his grandfather had defiled (2 Kings 22:3-6).

Why do you think Josiah chose this project?
Why do you think it took so many years before he was ready to renovate the temple?

During the temple renovation, Hilkiah, the high priest, discovered their lost book of scripture. He gave it to Shaphan, the scribe, who read it to King Josiah. The king had a strong response.

11 And it came to pass, when the king had heard the awords of the book of the law, that he rent his clothes.

12 And the king commanded Hilkiah the priest, and aAhikam the son of Shaphan, and Achbor the son of Michaiah, and Shaphan the scribe, and Asahiah a servant of the king’s, saying,

13 Go ye, inquire of the Lord for me, and for the people, and for all Judah, concerning the words of this book that is found: for great is the awrath of the Lord that is kindled against us, because our fathers have not hearkened unto the words of this book, to bdo according unto all that which is written concerning us.

2 Kings 22:11

Renting clothes, in this context, means tearing or ripping them (not borrowing them for a fee).

The tearing of one’s clothes is an ancient tradition among the Jews, and it is associated with mourning, grief, and loss.

—What did it mean to tear one’s clothes in the Bible? Got Questions.

Why would Josiah grieve upon hearing the scriptures?

Huldah, the Prophet

Huldah, print made by Jacob Matham (Goltzius workshop) after Hendrik Goltzius, 1588, Courtesy of the British Museum

King Josiah asked his high priest and scribe to inquire of the Lord about the scriptures they had read.

How should the high priest and his companions enquire of the Lord? Who would be nearer God than they? Who would be a better interpreter of His mind? There was no priest higher than Hilkiah. Probably Shaphan stood at the head of the scribes. But both Hilkiah and Shaphan were conscious that there was one in Jerusalem who had a better understanding of the heart of God than they had. It was a woman.

—Mary Elizabeth Baxter, Huldah, the Prophetess, Blue Letter Bible

Huldah is the third woman identified as a prophet in the Old Testament. The first was Miriam, whom we discussed in Come Follow Me: Exodus 14–17 “Stand Still, and See the Salvation of the Lord” and the second was Deborah, whom we discussed in Come Follow Me: Judges 2–4; 6–8; 13–16 “The Lord Raised Up a Deliverer.”

Note that the King James translation identifies Huldah as a “prophetess” in keeping with Old English grammar, which assigned a feminine suffix to words when the person so identified happened to be female.  Other translations use modern English grammar and identify Huldah simply as a “prophet,” or as a “woman prophet.”  Prophet and prophetess are the same word and have the same definition. (See Bible Study Tools 2 Kings 22:14 and CBE International, Who are the woman prophets in the Bible?)

Modern readers, unaccustomed to thinking of ancient women in positions of authority, may find Huldah’s story remarkable. The biblical evidence, however, makes clear that prophecy was a role open to women on an equal basis with men (other examples include Miriam, Deborah, and, in the New Testament, Anna), and the narrators of Kings and Chronicles take no notice of Huldah’s gender.

—Claudia V. Camp, Huldah: Bible, The Shalvi/Hyman Encyclopedia of Jewish Women

The text gives no indication that it was at all unusual or controversial to seek counsel from a female prophet, and 2 Kings 22:14 implies that Huldah was particularly venerated.

14 So Hilkiah the priest, and Ahikam, and Achbor, and Shaphan, and Asahiah, went unto Huldah the prophetess, the wife of Shallum the son of Tikvah, the son of Harhas, keeper of the wardrobe; (now she dwelt in Jerusalem in the acollege) and they communed with her.

2 Kings 22:14

The first hint of Huldah’s high status is the prestige of the emissaries the King sent to Huldah.

The size and prestige of the embassy that sought her counsel indicates something about not only the seriousness of the situation but also Huldah’s professional stature: the High Priest (Hilkiah), the father of the future governor (Ahikam), the son of a prophet (Achbor), the secretary of state (Shaphan) and the king’s officer (Asaiah).

—Linda Belleville, “Women Leaders in the Bible,” in Discovering Biblical Equality: Complementarity without Hierarchy, Ronald W. Pierce and Rebecca Merrill Groothuis (eds) (Leicester: InterVaristy Press, 2004), 110–125, 113.

The second is that these important people went to see Huldah, instead of summoning her to come to them.

Huldah was a highly respected prophetess, as demonstrated by the fact that she was sought out by the king’s men and that she was not summoned, which is what a ruler usually would do to a subordinate.

—Marg Mowczko, Huldah’s Public Prophetic Ministry, February 19, 2018

The choice to seek out counsel was certainly not due to a lack of male options; there were male prophets available, but Josiah’s team chose Huldah.

There were other prophets available in Jerusalem at the time. Jeremiah would have been a logical choice–he was a member of the high priest Hilkiah’s household. Zephaniah would also have been a possibility; he was a great great grandson of King Hezekiah. The king could also have sought out Lehi, who lived in Jerusalem during King Josiah’s reign. Later reports suggest that Josiah asked for Huldah by name with an even stronger injunction than the inquiry stated in the Bible: that he “bid them go to her, and say that [he desired] she would appease God, and endeavor to render Him propitious to them.” Some scholars have postulated that King Josiah chose Huldah above the other prophets of the day because he hoped her pronouncement would be more compassionate and merciful to the people of Judah. If that is true, his hopes would have been dashed by her divine response.

—Mary Ann Shumway McFarland, Women of the Bible Series: Huldah, The Exponent, August 17, 2016

Whether spoken by a male or a female voice, bad news from God remains the same:

15 ¶ And she said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Tell the man that sent you to me,

16 Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will bring evil upon this place, and upon the inhabitants thereof, even all the words of the abook which the king of Judah hath read:

17 Because they have forsaken me, and have burned incense unto other gods, that they might aprovoke me to anger with all the works of their hands; therefore my wrath shall be kindled against this place, and shall not be quenched.

2 Kings 22:15-17

This passage provides a clue that the book Hilkiah found was most likely the book of Deuteronomy.

The Book of the Law Josiah found was probably Deuteronomy. Huldah authenticated and affirmed the message of the book. The core of her message is the same as what the rest of the prophets declared and strongly echoes Deuteronomy 28.

—Leigh Powers, Women of the Bible: Huldah, May 12, 2016

Some scholars refer to this pronouncement by Huldah as the first instance of canonization in Judeo-Christian history.

Huldah’s story is notable in the biblical tradition in that her prophetic words of judgement are centered on a written document: she authorizes what will become the core of Scripture for Judaism and Christianity. Her validation of the text thus stands as the first recognizable act in the long process of canon formation. Huldah authenticates a document as being God’s word, thereby affording it the sanctity required for a text as authoritative, or canonical.

—Claudia V. Camp, “Huldah,” in Women in Scripture:  A Dictionary of the named and unnamed women in the Hebrew Bible, the Apocryphal/Deuterocanonical Books, and the New Testament, Carol Meyer, et al (New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin, 2000), 96.

Huldah did have words of consolation for Josiah.

18 But to the king of Judah which sent you to inquire of the Lord, thus shall ye say to him, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, As touching the words which thou hast heard;

19 Because thine heart was tender, and thou hast ahumbled thyself before the Lord, when thou heardest what I spake against this place, and against the inhabitants thereof, that they should become a bdesolation and a ccurse, and hast rent thy clothes, and wept before me; I also have heard thee, saith the Lord.

20 Behold therefore, I will gather thee unto thy fathers, and thou shalt be gathered into thy grave in apeace; and thine eyes shall not see all the evil which I will bring upon this place. And they brought the king word again.

2 Kings 22:12-20

How does it feel to know God has heard you? Have you ever felt heard by God?

Sister Mary Ann Shumway McFarland points out the significance of Huldah using the phrase, “Thus saith the Lord.”

Here is a woman who has authority. In fact, in the LDS faith, (if you’ll pardon the phrase) she has the mother of all callings: she is a prophetess. She is unquestioningly respected by male authority, temporal authority, national authority, all personified in King Josiah. She does not have to qualify her words, or justify them because she is a woman, or fight for her right to be a prophetess, or even explain herself. She simply fulfills her office with four “Thus saith the Lord”s.

…While the biblical account does not draw attention to Huldah’s position as a prophetess, neither does it brook any questions on the matter. In the six verses where she speaks, she says “Thus saith the Lord” four times. As Theodore Burton points out in his General Conference address of this name, this is a phrase used exclusively by the mouthpiece of God when prophesying. This leaves little doubt about who Huldah was, and her calling. 

—Mary Ann Shumway McFarland, Women of the Bible Series: Huldah, The Exponent, August 17, 2016

Here is a passage from Elder Burton’s General Conference talk:

In a time in history when we are beset by a clamor of voices from every side saying “Lo, here is truth” or “No, here is truth,” where can we find an authoritative voice saying “Thus saith the Lord”? Where is a Moses, or an Isaiah, or a Peter, or a Paul who can speak from personal knowledge of God? …The way of the Lord can eliminate wars, riots, discrimination, suffering, and starvation. What the world then needs is direction from a true prophet who, knowing the mind and the will of God, can speak in his name with power and authority and say, “Thus saith the Lord!”

—Elder Theodore M. Burton, “Thus Saith the Lord” General Conference October 1971

Based on what happened next, Huldah’s words did appear to have power and authority to address social problems such as “wars, riots, discrimination, suffering, and starvation.” We’ll discuss the outcomes of her counsel in the next section.

Sister Heather Farrell wrote about how she was inspired by Huldah:

She was literate. Which would have been an extraordinary thing for a woman at that time, not even the King was literate. …Huldah was literate and educated in a time when women were not supposed to be educated. She was a wife, and probably a mother, who had obviously cultivated her mind and had sought after knowledge. Her searching after knowledge and understanding, both spiritual and secular, placed her in a position where God could use her to help His people repent and come unto Him. Huldah is a great reminder that women too must seek after spiritual knowledge. Too often women are content to let others tell them what to think and to believe. Yet, God expects each of his daughters to study the scriptures and meditate upon their teachings. He expects each daughter to have her own testimony, one that is firmly founded upon the truths of the scriptures and from personal revelation.Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: “We need more women who are gospel scholars and more men who are Christians,” (Robert L. Millet, Men of Valor, 2007).

—Heather Farrell, Huldah, Women in the Scriptures, September 24, 2008

What does is mean to be a gospel scholar?  A Christian?
Why do we need both men and women in both categories?

A Change of Heart

After the meeting with Huldah, King Josiah gathered his people and read the scriptures to them.

1 And the king sent, and they gathered unto him all the elders of Judah and of Jerusalem.

2 And the king went up into the house of the Lord, and all the men of Judah and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem with him, and the priests, and the prophets, and all the people, both small and great: and he aread in their ears all the words of the book of the covenant which was found in the house of the Lord.

3 ¶ And the king stood by a apillar, and made a bcovenant before the Lord, to cwalk after the Lord, and to keep his commandments and his testimonies and his statutes with all their heart and all their soul, to perform the words of this covenant that were written in this book. And all the people stood to the covenant.

2 Kings 23:1-3

This covenant echoes a scripture from the law of Moses that Josiah probably read aloud to his people from the book of Deuteronomy:

5 And thou shalt alove the Lord thy God with all thine bheart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy cmight.

6 And these awords, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine bheart:

7 And thou shalt ateach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt btalk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

What does it mean to love God with all our hearts, soul and might?
How can we show that love?
How can we keep the words of the scriptures in our hearts?
What does verse 7 teach us about when and how we should discuss the scriptures? 

In the Book of Mormon, Alma described this change of heart, and like Huldah, added that such a change of heart could prevent spiritual destruction.

7 Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. Behold, they were in the midst of darkness; nevertheless, their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word; yea, they were encircled about by the abands of death, and the bchains of hell, and an everlasting destruction did await them.

8 And now I ask of you, my brethren, were they destroyed? Behold, I say unto you, Nay, they were not.

Alma 5:7-8

How is a change of heart like waking up from a deep sleep?
What is the “everlasting word”? How is it like a light?

In 2 Kings 23:4-20, we read that after making this covenant, Josiah accelerated his efforts to abolish idolatry in his kingdom. In 2 Chronicles 35, we read about how Josiah re-instituted the sacred observance of the Passover among his people. Jeremiah tells us that King Josiah defended the rights of the poor:

16 He judged the cause of the poor and needy; then it was well with him: was not this to know me? saith the Lord.

Jeremiah 22:16

The Common English Bible translates this verse this way:

He defended the rights of the poor and needy; then it went well. Isn’t that what it means to know me? declares the LORD.

Jeremiah 22:16 (Common English Bible)

What is the difference between caring for the poor and needy and defending their rights?
How does defending the rights of the poor and needy help us know the Lord?

Here we see three ways Josiah acted on his new testimony.  He purged evil influences, intentionally created opportunities for spiritual experiences through organized worship, and finally, translated his piety into actual action to help those in need. 

25 And like unto him was there no aking before him, that bturned to the Lord with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; neither after him arose there any like him.

2 Kings 23:25

How can we follow Josiah’s example?
How can we find motivation to act on what we learn from studying the scriptures or listening to prophets?

Because the scriptures had been lost for decades from the kingdom of Judah, Josiah may have appreciated them more when they were finally found. In contrast, most church members have had access to scripture our whole lives. President Spencer W. Kimball encouraged us not to be complacent because scripture is so accessible to us.

Sometimes it seems we take the scriptures too much for granted because we do not fully appreciate how rare a thing it is to possess them, and how blessed we are because we do have them. We seem to have settled so comfortably into our experiences in this world and become so accustomed to hearing the gospel taught among us that it is hard for us to imagine it could ever have been otherwise.

…I ask us all to honestly evaluate our performance in scripture study. It is a common thing to have a few passages of scripture at our disposal, floating in our minds, as it were, and thus to have the illusion that we know a great deal about the gospel. In this sense, having a little knowledge can be a problem indeed. I am convinced that each of us, at some time in our lives, must discover the scriptures for ourselves—and not just discover them once, but rediscover them again and again.

In this regard, the story of King Josiah in the Old Testament is a most profitable one to “liken … unto [our]selves.” (1 Ne. 19:24.) To me, it is one of the finest stories in all of the scriptures.

…I feel strongly that we must all of us return to the scriptures just as King Josiah did and let them work mightily within us, impelling us to an unwavering determination to serve the Lord.

—President Spencer W. Kimball, How Rare a Possession: the Scriptures, Ensign, September 1976

What does it mean to let scripture “work mightily within us”?
How can we become less complacent in our scripture study?

(Spiritually) Monitoring our Hearts

After King Josiah invited his people to covenant with God, they also became righteous.

33 And Josiah took away all the abominations out of all the countries that pertained to the children of Israel, and made all that were present in Israel to serve, even to serve the Lord their God. And all his days they departed not from following the Lord, the God of their fathers.

2 Chronicles 34:33

Notice that they “departed not.” In Alma’s sermon, he also emphasized the importance of being faithful to the end, and added some questions we should ask ourselves:

13 And behold, he apreached the word unto your fathers, and a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their btrust in the true and cliving God. And behold, they were faithful until the dend; therefore they were saved.

14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye aspiritually been bborn of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty cchange in your hearts?

Alma 5:13-14

What does it mean to be spiritually born of God?
What does it mean to have the image of God in our countenances?

Alma encourages us to continue examining our hearts going forward after this initial change of heart, to ensure that we are not drifting away from this state of spiritual renewal.

26 And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a achange of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the bsong of redeeming love, I would ask, ccan ye feel so now?

Alma 5:26

Why do we need to keep asking ourselves if we still feel the change of heart?

Elder Dale G. Renlund compared this to literally monitoring a new heart after a heart transplant:

In each heart transplant recipient, the patient’s own body recognizes the new, lifesaving heart as “foreign” and begins to attack it. Left unchecked, the body’s natural response will reject the new heart, and the recipient will die. …The condition of the new heart must be monitored.

…Surprisingly, some patients become casual with their transplanted hearts. They skip their medicines here and there and obtain the needed follow-up less frequently than they should. They think that because they feel good, all is well. Too often this shortsighted attitude puts the patients at risk and shortens their lives.

…Through the Atonement of Christ and by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel, we undergo this ultimate operation, this spiritual change of heart. As a result of our transgressions, our spiritual hearts have become diseased and hardened, making us subject to spiritual death and separation from our Heavenly Father. The Lord explained the operation that we all need: “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.”3

Just as with heart transplant patients, however, this mighty change of our spiritual hearts is just the beginning. Repentance, baptism, and confirmation are necessary but not sufficient. Indeed, equal, if not greater, care must be taken with a spiritually changed heart than with a physically transplanted heart if we are to endure to the end. Only by doing so can we be held guiltless at the time of judgment.4

Enduring to the end can be challenging because the tendency of the natural man is to reject the spiritually changed heart and allow it to harden. No wonder the Lord cautioned to “even let those who are sanctified take heed.”5

—Elder Dale G. Renlund, Preserving the Heart’s Mighty Change, General Conference, October 2009

What do you do to monitor your spiritual heart?
How do you keep your heart soft?

[image error][image error]Virginia H. Pearce, who served as 1st Counselor in the General Young Women Presidency, described an “Awareness Experiment” she conducted with a group of women she served with in her stake Relief Society to practice monitoring their hearts:

“Awareness Experiment”:

• To be more aware of the condition of our hearts and with that awareness to keep them more open toward others.

• To do this in the normal course of our lives, in other words, not put any extra activities into our day—no extra visits, no preparing of casseroles, etc. Above all, people were not to become “projects,” and our lives were not to be filled with more things to do!

• Notice the Spirit, and be willing to come together and honestly report what happened or hadn’t happened.

—Virginia H. Pearce, A Heart Like His, Deseret Book 2010

During the experiment, one woman, named Pauline, passed someone at the gym who she did not recognize but who greeted her by name. 

As I walked in with my daughters, a woman greeted me enthusiastically—as though she really knew me. ‘Hi, Pauline!’ Panic. The face didn’t look remotely familiar. I couldn’t pull up a name or even a context. But, just as I was ready to fake a friendly response and go to the other side of the workout room, I thought of our experiment and paid attention to my heart. It was all shriveled up—moving to the back of my chest—protected, hard, and cold. I quickly talked to myself, Wait a minute, Pauline! This is your chance to experiment! So I said, ‘I’m sorry. I can’t place you. Tell me your name.'”

The door flew open to what Pauline called the most wonderful hour of conversation. “We moved to exercise machines next to each other, and my friend from kindergarten, whom I had not seen since high school, ended up telling me her life story. It had been a tough one. We cried together as she described about what she had gone through, but the real tears came when she told me that she had been rebaptized that very week and was anticipating a new and good life ahead of her.

“My heart at the end of the hour was a different heart. It was the heart we’ve talked about so much; softened, opened, filled with His love, reaching out, nonjudgmental, positive, kind, affirming. “After we finished exercising, I introduced her to my girls. It was as if I were introducing a long-lost loved one. And I guess that’s really what she is. I know I don’t love her like the Lord does, but there really was some of that in there.” Then Pauline paused and said more quietly, “I can’t believe I almost missed the whole experience because I habitually keep my heart closed up and move on when I don’t recognize someone. I guess it’s pride. It’s such a stupid thing. And guess what? It didn’t take any extra time out of my day!

—Pauline, as quoted by Virginia H. Pearce, A Heart Like His, Deseret Book 2010

Have you ever tried an experiment like this? How did it go?
Would you be willing to try this experiment?

Stretching the Truth and Opening a Doorway to the Infinite

“I thought she said this wasn’t a book of poetry,” I said to myself as I read through the first section of The Mother Tree: Discovering the Love and Wisdom of our Divine Mother by Kathryn Knight Sonntag.

I’d read the description of her new book on the Faith Matters Publishing website, and I assumed, having read her book The Tree at the Center, that this book was also poetry.

But Sonntag said this one wasn’t poetry. I think she may have stretched the truth.

And sure, I could see that it has an introduction, three main parts, endnotes citing scripture and scholarship, and is written in paragraphs. The structure is prose, not poetry. And yet, this book that functions as a guide to the feminine path of spiritual ascent using the Divine Mother’s metaphor in scripture as the tree of life, is at least prose poetry. It is insightful, instructive, and also, beautiful.

Take for example one part of her description of the roots of the cosmic tree. “In the gnarl of beets and rot, in the communion of roots and fungi, we find powerful forces, creatures who remind us of the ways in which death is woven into life in endless cycles. The work of the roots speaks to the hidden mysteries that unfold in the dark. They remind us that the dark is alive.” (pg 6)

Not poetry? Sure Jan.

Sonntag provides a diagram of the cosmic tree and goes through each section—roots, trunk, and crown—teaching the multi-layered meaning of each in the physical sense of the functions of these parts of the tree as well as their metaphorical significance in teaching about the underworld, earth life, and the heavens. I appreciated this dual approach because it allows us to approach the Divine Mother through metaphor, but also through a sense of grounded knowing in our connection to the earth and ourselves.

Though the book is short—102 pages including notes—I had to pause frequently, sometimes for minutes, sometimes for days, to ponder its ideas. I have been immersed in Heavenly Mother discourse for the past several months, and it has at times been overwhelmingly intense. Reading this book helped soothe parts of my spirit that have felt inflamed. One issue that has frustrated me is how infrequently LDS discourse considers Heavenly Mother to have any salvific importance. “Salvific” means leading or pertaining to salvation. In much of the discourse around the LDS notion of Heavenly Mother, the Mother is irrelevant to salvation.

The Mother Tree powerfully brings together a missing part of the salvific significance of the mother by focusing on the repeated scriptural metaphor of the Divine Mother as the tree of life. Throughout scripture, the tree of life has both redemptive and maternal properties. “The tree image connects maternal care to the saving powers of God, our divine parents.” (pg 1) Through examining the metaphor of the tree, we better understand the nature of the Divine Mother and Her salvific importance. Learning this feminine path of spiritual ascent is not about disregarding or overshading masculine ways, but harmonizing the feminine and masculine to make room for all.

While I find the tree to be a powerful metaphor, I appreciated that Sonntag kept bringing the discussion back from metaphor and into lived, embodied grounded experience. Integrating these ways of knowing feels essential. It results in coming to see our bodies as wise, not sinful. We better see our interconnectedness to other people and the earth. For me, it is a reminder that it is not enough for me to retreat to my intellect, but that learning involves my body and my connection to the earth.

There were moments in the book that gave me pause, and ideas when I wouldn’t necessarily come to the same conclusion. One such moment was in the idea of birth as an ordinance (pg 23). For me, viewing birth as an ordinance requires too extensive of a redefinition of the word as I understand it in use and practice. I’m inclined to want individuals to have full informed consent for ordinances, and I consider essential life events such as birth and death to be holy in a way that transcends ordinances, which I see as being controlled by institutions. It may ultimately be a debate of semantics more than any material disagreement about the holiness of life. But even in the moments that gave me pause, Sonntag’s words pushed me to think more deeply.

Ultimately, it is the push to think more deeply that I found so helpful about this book. It is an invitation towards wisdom and love, not a declaration of the only way to think about the Divine Mother.

Recently, Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my favorite authors, was on We Can Do Hard Things, one of my favorite podcasts. She talked about reading great literature and poetry as part of her spiritual practice. She said that sacred literature opens a doorway to the infinite, and that through reading, you can enter that doorway for your own communion. “And I feel like Walt Whitman was a mystic and a great Saint, and that he was in direct communion with God, and that he left the door open behind him. And I draft in on his draft. So I read a couple lines of Walt and then I’m with God, right? And it’s like, ‘Thanks, uncle Walt.’ And Rumi does that for me. Hafez does that for me, all of those. Mary Oliver does it for me. They left the door open behind them, out of their generosity. And you can slip in on their words and it changes something and you interiorly, and now you’re in divine space.”

And while perhaps The Mother Tree is not a collection of poems, that’s what Kathryn Knight Sonntag’s writing does for me. It opens a doorway to the infinite that allows me to enter a divine space with room for my own questions, seeking, and interpretations.  

Come Follow Me: Esther “Thou Art Come … for Such a Time as This”

Esther Pleading Before Ahasuerus

The book of Esther has a strong narrative that makes it ideal for having the class act out* the story. Bring simple props for crowns, a scepter, goblets, sack cloth, letters etc. or print out the coloring page on card stock and use the figures as puppets. (Print out two pages so you can use one of the woman figures for Vashti and the other for Esther. The extra men could be a drinking buddy and an attendant.) Arrange the seating in your classroom to have space at the front for a stage, or consider moving your class to the stage in the cultural hall, if possible.

Ask the class who enjoys going to the theater. Are plays generally fiction or non-fiction? Point out that even plays that are about historical events become fictionalized. Ask “Can we still learn truths from a fictional story?” State that the Book of Esther has literary elements that we typically associate with fiction, even though it’s in the bible: there’s a complex plot that has symmetries and role reversals, and there’s plenty of exaggeration. These elements tell us that we don’t have to read this story literally (180 days of showing off the riches of the kingdom? A seven day feast for the whole palace? A one year beauty regimen for the king’s concubines?).

Announce that today we are going to put on a play of the Book of Esther. Invite the class to look for spiritual truths in the play. These truths might relate to pride, feasting vs. fasting, courage, integrity, or something else.

Get volunteers for the following characters, and hand them copies of the script. Be prepared to help with props (or recruit someone to help you beforehand.)

Vashti, the queen

The King, the king

drinking buddies, (optional) a non-speaking part

Attendant(s), a part that can be divided among multiple people

Esther, a Jewish girl who becomes queen

Mordecai, Esther’s cousin and guardian

maidens, (optional) a non-speaking part

Haman, the king’s favored advisor

(optional, a narrator could read the scene settings and the italicized words)

Scene 1, the throne room, a feast [The King, drinking buddies, Attendant, Vashti]

The king is merry with his drinking buddies

The King(to his attendant): Bring Vashti, the queen to our presence. She’s super attractive and we want to look upon her. Make sure she’s wearing her crown.

Attendant (to Vashti): The king commands your presence. His drinking buddies want to see how beautiful you look with your crown on.

Vashti: Nope. I don’t want a bunch of drunk guys leering at me. I’m not going in there. Besides, I’m already hosting a feast for all of the king’s other women.

Attendant (to king): Um. She’s not coming.

The King (angry): What!?! Not coming? What are we going to do to her? She hasn’t followed my command!

Attendant: Well, we can’t have all the women in the kingdom disrespecting their husbands. What a terrible example. If it please the king, let there be a royal command that cannot be altered saying saying that all women must give honor to their husbands, and that Vashti can come no more before King Ahasuerus, and that her royal estate shall be given to another who is better than her.

The King: Okay. Send letters to every province in every language!

Scene 2, the court of the harem [Attendant, maidens, Mordecai, Esther]

Mordecai reads the letter saying the king is looking for a replacement queen. Many maidens are vying for the attendant’s attention.

Mordecai (to Esther): Cousin Esther, you are beautiful and an orphan. Maybe you could be the next queen! Let’s see if you get picked.

Esther: Okay.

Mordecai: Whatever you do, don’t let anyone know that you are a Jew.

Esther: Okay.

Attendant: Yup. This girl is pretty enough to be the queen. She could potentially replace Vashti. We’ll give her a twelve month beauty regimen, compliments of the king.

Esther: Okay.

Mordecai (to Esther): I’ll come to the court of the harem every day to see how you are doing.

Esther: Okay.

Scene 3, the court of the harem [Esther, Attendant, The King, Mordecai]

Twelve months later…

Esther (to attendant): It’s my turn to go to the king. What should I bring with me?

Attendant: Only what I choose for you.

Esther: Okay.

The King: You are the best out of all the girls. I choose Esther to become my new queen!

Esther: Okay.

(Esther is crowned)

Mordecai (to Esther): As I was at the gate, I overheard a plot to assassinate the king!

Esther (to the King): My cousin Mordecai overheard a plot to assassinate you!

The King (to attendant): Investigate this. If this found to be true, kill the conspirators.

Scene 4, the throne room, [The King, Haman, Attendant, drinking buddies, maidens]

Haman is promoted.

The King (to Haman): I now promote you to be over all the princes. All shall bow and reverence you.

(All bow except Mordecai)

Haman (to audience): Ugh. I am so angry because Mordecai will not bow to me! It’s not enough to punish Mordecai. He is a Jew. I must punish all his people! I’m going to cast lots to decide what day to do enact this punishment.

Haman (to king): So…there are these certain people throughout your kingdom. They don’t follow your commandments. If it please the king, let there be a royal decree issued for their destruction. I will pay ten trillion dollars of silver into your treasury if you do this.

The King: Okay. Send letters to every province in every language!

Scene 5, the gate to the court of the harem [Mordecai, Attendant, Esther]

Mordecai reads the letter ordering the destruction of the Jews. He puts on sackcloth and wails throughout the city, up to the king’s gate.

Attendant: You can’t come through the gate wearing sackcloth! Here are some clothes from Esther.

Mordecai: I will not wear those clothes. I’m mourning. This letter orders the destruction of the Jews. Take it to Esther and charge her to go to the king and beg for the life of her people!

Attendant (to Esther): Your cousin Mordecai gave me this letter ordering the destruction of the Jews. He wants you to go to the king and beg for the life of your people. Also, how come you never told me you’re a Jew?!?

Esther (to attendant): Tell Mordecai that whoever goes to the king without being called for by the king is put to death. Only if the king extends his golden scepter to the person will the person live. The king hasn’t called for me for thirty days!

Attendant (to Mordecai): The king’s probably not going to ask to see her anytime soon. Your plan could get her killed!

Mordecai (to Attendant): Tell Esther “Don’t think that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. If you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews in some other way, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.”

Attendant (to Esther): He said your life is on the line either way, but if you go to the king maybe less Jews will die.

Esther (to attendant): Tell Mordecai “Gather all the Jews to be found, and hold a fast on my behalf. Don’t eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will also fast as you do. After that I will go to the king, although it is against the law. If I perish, I perish.”

Scene 6, the throne room [Esther, The King, Attendant]

Esther comes to the king. The king extends his scepter.

The King: What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? It shall be given you, even to the half of my kingdom.

Esther: If I have won your favor and if it pleases the king, let the king and Haman come today to a banquet that I have prepared for the king.

The King (to attendant): Bring Haman quickly, so that we may do as Esther desires.

[Haman enters]

They move to the banquet table and enjoy the wine

The King: What is your petition? It shall be granted you. And what is your request? Even to the half of my kingdom, it shall be fulfilled.

Esther: This is my petition and request: if I have won your favor and if it pleases the king, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the banquet that I will prepare for them.

[The King and Esther exit]

The next day

Haman to audience: My wife and friends are so excited that I get to dine privately with the king and queen again! But even though I’m so important, Mordecai still doesn’t bow down to me. I followed my wife’s advice and built a gallows. I’m off to tell the king to hang Mordecai.

[The King enters]

The King: Ah, Haman! What shall be done for the man whom the king wishes to honor?

Haman (to audience): Who would the king wish to honor more than me?

Haman (to the king): For the man that the king wishes to honor, let royal robes be brought. Robes that the king himself has worn. Also bring the man a horse that the king has ridden. Oooo! With a royal crown on the horse’s head! Give the robes and the horse to one of the king’s highest officials and have him conduct the man throughout the city proclaiming: “Thus shall it be done for the man whom the king wishes to honor.”

The King: Okay. Quickly, take the robes and the horse, just as you have said, and do all that to the Jew Mordecai who sits at the king’s gate. Leave out nothing that you have mentioned! I couldn’t sleep last night and as I was going through the records I realized I had done nothing to honor Mordecai for uncovering a plot to assassinate me.

Haman stomps off and robes Mordecai. As soon as he’s done, Haman is brought to Esther’s banquet by the attendants.

[Esther enters]

The King: What is your petition, Queen Esther? It shall be granted you. And what is your request? Even to the half of my kingdom, it shall be fulfilled.

Esther: If I have won your favor, O king, and if it pleases the king, let my life be given me. That is my petition. And save the lives of my people. That is my request. For we have been sold, I and my people, to be destroyed.

The King: Who is he, and where is he, who has presumed to do this?

Esther: A foe and enemy, this wicked Haman!

Haman (crying at Esther’s feet): Queen Esther! I beg for my life!

The King: What is this? Leave her alone!

Attendant: Look at Haman’s house! He has prepared gallows for Mordecai, who saved the king’s life.

The King: Hang Haman on those gallows and then bring Mordecai to me. Esther, Haman’s estate is now yours.

[Attendant and Haman exit. Attendant returns with Mordecai.]

Esther: Mordecai, you will oversee Haman’s estate for me. Oh king! (falling at his feet and weeping) Please put an end to the evil plan of Haman! If it pleases the king, let an order be written that overrules the decree from Haman that orders the destruction of the Jews. I cannot bear to see the destruction of my people!

The King: Unfortunately I can’t do that. No document written in the king’s name and sealed with his ring can be revoked…Oh! But we can write another decree! Mordecai, here is my ring. Write another decree in my name on behalf of the Jews. Send letters to every province in every language!

Mordecai: Thank you. I will write that the Jews have the right to assemble, the right to protect themselves, and the right to kill any who attack them.

The King: Great! Let’s go get you some new robes.

Many who would have attacked the Jews were now afraid of Mordecai’s power. The Jews killed those who did attack them. Thereafter, the Jews celebrated their victory with the Feast of Purim.

Use the remaining class time to have a discussion about spiritual lessons or themes that people noticed in the play. Did seeing the story acted out help them notice different aspects? Some topics you might discuss:

How was feasting used in this story? How was fasting used in this story?Who showed courage? What happened to them?Who was prideful? What happened to them?Whose roles get reversed? Why? What does this tell us about justice?Were the king’s laws wise? (Because of Vashti’s disobedience to the king’s command, all women were constrained to be obedient. Because of Mordecai’s disobedience to the king’s command, all Jews were to be punished.) What kind of laws would be better? How should we react to foolish laws?**Haman offered to pay a ridiculously large sum of money to the king’s treasury so that he could kill the Jews. Is that a moral use of money? Do you see money being used in similar ways today?Vashti was disgraced because of her disobedience. Esther was chosen as the new queen in part because of her compliant nature, but she was ultimately disobedient to the king’s laws also. Were these women justified in their disobedience?In the beginning of the story, both the king and Esther were happy to say “okay” to whatever they were advised to do by others. Were those always good choices?

End by reading Esther 4:14 and encouraging class members to use their unique position to be a voice for good, even if that requires a breathtaking amount of courage.

*After I got halfway through writing this script, I learned that there is a long Jewish tradition of dramatizing the Book of Esther, and that these plays are called Purim spiels. Wikipedia tells me that Purim spiels often satirically address modern issues. 1) I’ve got a bit of holy envy here because this sounds like a great tradition for making the scriptures fun and relevant. 2) My idea to dramatize Esther was entirely inspired by the structure of the text and a desire to have a non-boring church lesson. 3) The LDS church also has a tradition of dramatizing scripture stories. (The Come Follow Me for individuals and families study guide links to three different videos about Esther. However, none of them put any emphasis on the courage of Queen Vashti, who said “No” to the king, even though the consequence was loss of worldly power.)

**This question is very relevant to current politics and has potential to be polarizing, but it could be a good introspective question. A good response to a controversial comment might be: “I have a different opinion. However, I want to keep the class focused on…”

Guest Post: Nakedness Is Next to Godliness

Guest post by Mikaela. Mikaela is a lover of many things, including family, friends, animals, and most especially lively conversation. A professional loud mouth with no filter, she spent too many decades thinking she had no rhythm before finally realizing she needed to dance to the beat of her own heart.  When she isn’t spending time with her kids and husband, she is most often found doing “trail” therapy with one or two or 15 of her many friends. Whether on a bike, skis, a paddle board, snowshoes, or her own two feet, you will hear her coming.

Months ago, I was in the shower when a scripture mastery verse that had always bothered me came to mind. The verse is somewhat long, but I could never get past the first 8 words: “The natural man is an enemy to God” (Mosiah 3:19). I started pondering why, and what I might be misunderstanding. By the time I finished washing and was dressed for the day, I had a new, hopeful take on this passage that had always troubled me. I felt energized and uplifted as I continued through my day. A few hours later I received a text from the bishop asking if I would speak on a particular scripture. As I pulled it up, I was overcome with uncertainty as the very scripture I had just hours before been wrestling with was the exact one assigned to me. 

I have a pretty clear grasp of what an enemy is. As someone with “naturally” curly hair I also understand natural as the state of something when not acted upon by other forces. Simply, the way something is. Obviously, I struggled with the concept that the way humans, created by God, in God’s image, are in opposition to God. This implies we believe in original sin. However, the second article of faith states, “We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.”  How can we not be punished for Adam’s transgression and still be an enemy to God simply by being human? I concluded we can’t and I needed to redefine natural. So, I pondered the symbolism in my favorite scripture story to understand how our natural human tendencies can be both from God and also make us act in opposition to the plan of happiness. 

God creates Adam and Eve and places them “naked and not ashamed” in Eden where they cannot experience physical harm or death and commands two things. One: multiply and replenish the earth–no qualifiers, no warnings. The second: don’t eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil–or you will die. An action with a promised consequence. They were warned if they ate the fruit of knowledge of good and evil they would die, and therefore be separated from God. This separation was not punishment, but the natural outcome of a choice they were prepared to make by being adequately warned in advance. Fear of change or the unknown can cause us to behave in opposition to God’s intended plan. God commanded Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth, something they could not do in their current state. Obedience to that law required a willingness to change. Our God given ability to fear death, suffering and separation is essential in a dangerous and difficult mortal world, but clinging too tightly to the known can prohibit acting in faith, exercising agency, and Godly transformation. Adam and Eve could have been paralyzed by fear and never taken that first bite, but complacency was never God’s plan. 

In Eden, Adam and Eve avoided hunger, sickness, dangerous animals, loneliness, tyranny, war, abuse and a seemingly endless list of difficult earthly experiences. However, they couldn’t be protected from themselves, and that part of the plan was so vital it was worth having a war in heaven over. It was crucial that Adam and Eve had agency to “choose for themselves” and then be held accountable. If God’s only purpose is to have us remain exactly as we were in the pre-existence, then earth life would be unnecessary, coerced obedience would be acceptable and we would not require a Savior. However, we are born in order to become more like God. God could not force life experience on them. Satan also could not force them; he had no physical power over them or seemingly anything else in the garden. The ability to choose was Adam and Eve’s one vulnerability. It was also their greatest power.

 Vulnerability means being capable of being wounded, open to attack or damage. In her research, Brené Brown describes it this way: “Vulnerability isn’t good or bad: it’s not what we call a dark emotion, nor is it always a light, positive experience. Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable.” She defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” In her book Daring Greatly, Brown discusses how people describe what it looks like to be vulnerable. Some responses include “standing up for myself, asking for help, calling a friend whose child just died, saying I love you first and not knowing if I’m going to be loved back, asking for forgiveness, and having faith.” In response to what vulnerability FEELS like people said, “it’s taking off the mask and hoping the real me isn’t too disappointing, going out on a limb—a very, very, high limb, being all in, it feels like free-falling, letting go of control.” But time and time again, the response that comes up most is that being vulnerable feels like being “naked.” 

Reading this, I immediately thought of how Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. They also had the ability to make choices for themselves from the beginning. Their vulnerability was with them from the time of their creation, and didn’t create any concern. After partaking of the fruit, Adam and Eve appear to go from a state of blissful ignorance to an awareness of their nakedness, and rather than recognize that they were always naked, that God in fact made them naked and clearly wasn’t too concerned about it, they succumbed to fear. They listened to outside voices that made them question God’s love, plan, and infinite mercy. They were deceived into believing that their vulnerability was shameful. They then used fig leaves to make aprons to cover their nakedness–or their ability to be wounded–despite the fact that their nakedness wasn’t what had changed; it was their awareness that had. 

Fig leaves are an interesting choice for clothing. They have small, scratchy, thorn like fibers that would make pressing them against bare skin painful. They also provide zero protection from thick bushes, insects, animals, cold,, rain, wind, or even sunburn. Tthe only purpose fig leaves would serve would be to block their God-given bodies from the Heavenly Parents that made them naked and left them that way, or to keep them uncomfortable and out of view from a true adversary who would never receive a body of his own. Here we see them irrationally side with the very influence creating their discomfort. Then, after putting on their scratchyclothes, they hide from God. 

My favorite part happens next. God seeks them out, finds them fearfully hiding in the garden, asks what they have done, banishes Satan and gives them coats of skins. As someone with sensory issues and intimate knowledge of how comfortable natural fibers like wool feel and the amazing protection leather provides, I am stunned at the superiority of these alternatives. I have heard some suggest these same skins may have been from animals used to teach Adam and Eve the law of sacrifice as a reminder of the ultimate sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. Another translation of the word atone is “to cover.” In their moment of greatest weakness, our first parents came to understand that their own choices were the only thing capable of separating them from God and that they would be sent out into a world that would harm, distress, and certainly kill them. And it is then, in that thorny, painful awareness, that our Heavenly Parents provided their fearful and ashamed children–who were compensating with scratchy plants–a covering that was soft, comfortable, temperature controlling, moldable and personal. These skins would remind them of God’s acknowledgement, acceptance, and abiding love for them, even the part of them they felt was too shameful to be left visible. 

 Adam and Eve’s nakedness did not separate them from God; what they chose to do after becoming aware of it did. I know our vulnerability and agency is part of God’s plan. However, how we respond when we find ourselves uncomfortable or wounded as a result of our actions determines whether we continue to suffer in shame or whether we are literally encircled about and covered in God’s infinite love and mercy. God didn’t cover their nakedness to address His discomfort with their bodies, but to remove their discomfort with their own awareness and to prepare them for the painful world they were entering. 

I began by acknowledging I ponder scriptures in the shower. That might make some people uncomfortable. Some may feel embarrassed acknowledging we shower. But refusing to shower won’t keep us from stinking, and pretending we don’t smell is like trying to hide our vulnerability from an all-knowing God. In the words of Brené Brown, “when we don’t acknowledge how and where we’re tender, we’re more at risk of being hurt.” Ignoring our vulnerabilities does not erase them. I know it is no coincidence that I receive inspiration in the shower. Aside from being a place where I am quiet, alone, not distracted by my phone, it’s a place I tend to go with my concerns, my questions, the things that unsettle me. Unlike other prayers where I leave the messy stuff out, I show my whole self when I wrestle through the uncomfortable stuff, and I have learned that when I am willing to show up, admit I’m unclean and I’m not sure where to go, God is there with me. When I can acknowledge I am naked, rather than huddle scared hoping God won’t notice, God can astonish me by reminding me I am created in the image of deity, and if I trust in Jesus Christ’s atonement and continue to put my faith in their plan, my Heavenly Parents will take my fig leaves and provide me with custom leather pants. 

Guest Post: Capitalism is Killing Our Kids

Guest Post by Whitney Bush. Whitney is a middle school science teacher in Brooklyn NY originally from Madison, WI. She studied Wildlife and Wildlands Conservation at BYU and Special Education at Brooklyn College.  She loves canoes, books, cheese, and naps.

Like most kids, my plans for my future changed yearly, if I was feeling particularly committed, more often if I had recently read a new book or met someone with a job I didn’t know existed. My parents never hesitated to support me from my dreams of being a large animal veterinarian in rural England to writing Environmental policy. As my interests and hobbies grew, my parents never wavered. Books, rock tumblers, alto recorders and crystal growing lab kits would show up as frequently as the family budget would allow. My parents believed I could and would do anything I set my mind to. And so I did.

Then in my mid twenties I had an epiphany that I never expected. “Hey Mom,” I said after recently moving home to Wisconsin after spending a year and a half in Italy “I think I want to be a teacher.” My mom still remembers this moment and how bittersweet it was for her. When visiting me at the middle school I teach at in Brooklyn a few months ago, she told me again how she had known I would be an amazing teacher but she also knew it was going to be a hard and often thankless calling.

When I came to her nine years ago she had been teaching in a public school for almost 20 years. And she had seen it all. We’ve always been close so I had heard all the stories. I had heard about the thousands of kids that she loved like her own and that she kept entertained while tricking them into becoming amazing thinkers and mathematicians. I loved going to work with her as a kid and seeing her in action. Watching her felt akin to watching a superhero, she could win over any kid because she was so real with them and cared about them so openly. Not just if they could pass algebra but cared about their humanity. The teaching and the kids, I now know first hand, that’s the fun part, that’s why we do what we do. But I had also heard her stories about conflict averse administration, about entitled parents and about the nonsensical edicts coming out of the downtown offices. Even as a kid I didn’t understand why people working in an office could make decisions about what was happening in a school. My mom knew exactly what I was signing on for, the good, which is so good, and the bad, which can be so so bad.

Whenever I call to tell her about the latest drama, a student that said something wild, a parent email that was out of touch, a conflict with a coworker, she always listens and sighs and says “You know I get it.” And you know, I had no idea how grateful I would be to hear that from her, every single time. Because the truth is, unless you have spent real time in a public school, you have absolutely no idea what it’s like. Even my dad, who is a highly empathetic human, can’t quite understand some of the fury I feel trying to work in a system that, while theoretically designed for students, doesn’t seem to care about them or us.

Because the truth is, society doesn’t actually care about education. I knew that on some level when I found myself comparing myself to childhood friends who were defending dissertations in microbiology and finishing medical school residencies, while I was *just* finishing a master in education and my first years of teaching. Society didn’t think that was much of an achievement and I found myself believing them. If it was a valuable job we would make a competitive salary, right? If people cared about education it wouldn’t be the first budget to be cut, right? In this capitalist society we have made it clear what we value.

There was a glorious two months period where it seemed like people finally understood how hard and important our job is. April and May of 2020, when suddenly every family in America was stuck at home and trying to figure out how to do long division or what theme is but really how do you actually get kids to do any work? We were National heroes for two glorious months because people realized they can’t do our jobs.

But then COVID didn’t go away as fast as we did and suddenly we were the bottom of the pecking order again. Because we were scared about returning to unsafe school: out of date school buildings with overcrowded classrooms in a world where there was still no vaccine. Hundreds of school districts wouldn’t even enforce mask mandates because the actual lives of teachers were not valued.

It shouldn’t have been such a surprise but it felt like another gut punch during an already trying time.

No one knows better than a teacher how important it is to have students in a classroom. As I sat in my empty classroom days before school was set to start remotely in September of 2020, I wept. When would I have a room full of messy kids again, launching rockets, reading blood pressures, identifying bird songs? I mourned the job that I loved but was grateful that my kids were going to be safe from the virus while we muddled through zoom together. Despite being months into the pandemic the amorphous office jobs that control our lives hadn’t made a plan. Every week a new decree came that made less and less sense and we watched as individual schools and districts would open and close and open and close all year long. We rolled with it, like we always did, because we wanted our kids to be healthy and safe as much as we wanted to teach them.

Because once again we find the people who aren’t in the classroom making all the decisions. This past December as omicron spiked in NYC and our new mayor refused to let schools go remote, I wore two masks and prayed I would make it till winter break. I was one of the lucky ones but as I landed in Wisconsin on the evening of the 23rd I got a text from my best friend at work, he had just tested positive. He had shown up for our kids every day, like we do, and now would be spending his holidays alone in quarantine. We came back to school on January 3rd and that month more than half of my students and coworkers would get sick. My assistant principal was teaching gym everyday because we were so short staffed, but you can’t go remote, the mayor said, that would be too disruptive to learning.

We had barely made it through the peak of omicron, students were being sent home with covid tests because of school exposures almost weekly, and then the mask mandate in our school was lifted. And then the most shocking thing happened- people kept getting sick. I mean, it wasn’t shocking to any of us, but I assume it shocked the mayor, unless the truth is, once again, that our health and lives are of no value to him.

And now it’s June. And we are tired. As magical as it has felt to have my students back, to see the moments the wheels click into place, to listen to them discuss current science issues, to hug them every day, it has been a long and hard year. 7th grade is often the worst year of any kid’s life, I know it was for me, but it’s even harder when you spent most of the last two years at home. The social learning is on fast forward and their mistakes have been messy and hard to help them sort through. We all took a collective breath when June first hit because it meant we would in fact, survive the year. And then Uvalde happened. We hugged our kids and held space for them to feel and talk about the open wound of America that is gun violence and the inability of people in power to value human life over money. As the asinine factions on the internet ignored the inability of the police to act in this disaster and instead discussed the merits of arming teachers, I closed my laptop. I’m too tired to be this angry all the time. Instead of watching the internet burn with contempt for the humanity of school children and teachers, I went to watch our spring school musical and sit in awe of my students and coworkers. For the first time since the pandemic hit we had a stage full of music and dancing and unabashed joy and connection. It felt a little like healing. And then that very same weekend, the school budgets for next year were released.

I don’t know how we manage to still be surprised. How does it still feel like a gut punch?

Because the truth is we don’t care about education. If we did, the mayor wouldn’t be cutting funding across the board to the extent that my school alone may have to excess 6 teachers while also cutting out almost all extracurricular activities. If we cared about the health of our communities at all we would invest in our children. We would give them every opportunity we could to be themselves fully and support them every step of the way. We wouldn’t be cutting the budgets that make that happen and we wouldn’t be increasing the police budget. Our capitalist society isn’t interested in such a long term investment. And while teachers are used to their humanity being ignored, we’re tired of watching our kids suffer because politicians continue to care more about money than humanity. I’m tired. I’m tired of politicians that can’t do my job making decisions that hurt my kids while they continue to lie about there just not being enough money. Sorry, you can’t have smaller class sizes, sorry you can’t have sports teams, sorry you can’t teach music classes, sorry you can’t go on field trips, sorry you can’t do small group reading interventions. We know your chromebooks are getting old, but the police need glocks. Or whatever latest lie the politicians have for us.

Capitalism is killing our kids.

Guest Post: Young Women Lesson: Why is Chastity Important in God’s Plan?

Guest Post by Anonymous. Anonymous loves reading, writing, and hiking and lives with her husband and kids. 

Developed for the June 26, 2022 Come Follow Me YW lesson Why is Chastity Important in God’s Plan, but could be helpful for any lesson with chastity as the main topic.

Materials:

Pens & paper
Printed copies of the quotes
Origami paper and lotus flower origami instructions (optional)

Lesson outline:

Introduction (5-10 min)
Section 1: Becoming educated about your body (10 min)
Section 2: What chastity isn’t (10 min)
Section 3: David & Bathsheba (10 min)
Section 4: Personal goals and boundaries (10 min)
Origami activity and close (5-10 min)

Introduction:

• Recite Young Women’s theme
• Announcements
• “Counsel together” question & discussion

Section 1: Becoming educated about your body

I did not tell the class that the topic was chastity at this point. I wanted them to have an open mind for the goals discussion at the beginning of the lesson.

Ask the young women:

What are some of your goals?What do you want to accomplish and experience in your life?What are some things you want to do or experience eventually, but are too young to do right now? For example, going to college, studying abroad, getting married, starting a business,etc.How are you preparing for those kinds of goals? Share examples.Use one of the YW’s goals as an example, or use studying abroad as an example:If you want to study abroad someday, how are you preparing to do that? Do you never talk about it? Never learn about it? Get embarrassed by it? Or do you learn about the country, culture, and language?On the other hand, do you think about it constantly, or is it just one thing that you are learning about?They should say that you would learn about a goal you have but not obsess over it.The same thing is true about sex and the law of chastity.

We are taught that we should follow the law of chastity.

So, what is the law of chastity?

Read Quote #1

“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a single, undeviating standard of sexual morality: intimate relations are proper only …in the marriage relationship prescribed in God’s plan. Such relations are not merely a curiosity to be explored, an appetite to be satisfied, or a type of recreation or entertainment … They are not a conquest to be achieved or simply an act to be performed. Rather, they are in mortality one of the ultimate expressions of our divine nature and potential and a way of strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds… We are agents blessed with moral agency.”-  Elder Bednar, We Believe in Being Chaste

Discuss and recap Quote #1. Our church has a very clear standard for sexual morality that is part of the law of chastity.

Sometimes we feel like we should never learn or talk about sex or about our bodies, because we are not married yet, or because we feel shame and awkwardness talking about the law of chastity. We mix up sacredness with shame and fear.

Read Quote #2:

“Our physical bodies make possible a breadth, a depth, and an intensity of experience that simply could not be obtained in our premortal existence. Thus, our relationships with other people, our capacity to recognize and act in accordance with truth, and our ability to obey the principles and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ are amplified through our physical bodies. In the school of mortality, we experience tenderness, love, kindness, happiness, sorrow, disappointment, pain, and even the challenges of physical limitations in ways that prepare us for eternity. Simply stated, there are lessons we must learn and experiences we must have, as the scriptures describe, ‘according to the flesh.’” – Elder Bednar, We Believe in Being Chaste

Discuss and recap Quote #2. Our bodies and the experiences we have with them are important. Our heavenly parents gave them to us on purpose.

Sexual intimacy is sacred, and it’s a good thing. It’s important to learn about it and prepare for it, the same way you can prepare for other goals and experiences that you want one day but might not be ready for yet. It’s important to not be ashamed of our bodies or desires, because they come from God.

How can we learn about sex and our bodies now, in a way that allows us to follow the commandments and keep the law of chastity?What are some resources that can help you learn and also keep you safe?Discuss and share ideas.Parents, trusted adults, doctors; sometimes friends, resourcesWhat are things to look for in a trusted adult? Discuss.They do not make you feel uncomfortable.They do not make you feel hopeless or worthless if you make a mistake.They do not make you feel like an object.They do not get angry with you if you make a mistake.They do not ask you to keep secrets.

Main takeaway from this section: Find an adult you trust who you can talk to about uncomfortable topics.

Section #2: What chastity isn’t

The world gets some things wrong about the law of chastity. The world might tell you that your body is a prize or a gift to another person. Sometimes this belief might make you afraid of sex. It might make you feel like you need to save your body for someone in the future. On the other hand, it might encourage you to have sex before you are ready.

Sometimes this belief might tell you that your value is tied to your body.

Briefly explain who Elizabeth Smart is, if the YW do not know her story.

Read Quote #3:

Elizabeth Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she … recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum. “I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’ And that’s how easy it is to feel like you know longer have worth, you know longer have value,” Smart said.

Your value is not tied to chastity. You always have value because you are a child of God.Your body is not a gift to another person.Your body is not a gift to a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a future spouse.Your body is a gift to you from your Heavenly Parents.

So, if chastity is not about your value, why do we have the law of chastity?

Read Quote #4:

“One of the great blessings we receive in this life…is a body….When we choose to follow our Heavenly Father, he tells us that our body is sacred. It can be like a temple, and there is a way it is to be used…. There are so many blessings that we receive when we live the law of chastity.…The promise of having the Holy Ghost with you is one of the blessings of living a chaste life. The other thing is you can have a great deal of self respect if you know who you are…a daughter or son of our Heavenly Father. You know who you need to be and how you need to conduct your life. It gives you direction and…self respect to say, I know who I am, this is how I should treat my body. You build trust in a relationship when you are married. You’ll build love.…So our hf wants us to be happy. He’s told us how.” – Sister Renlund, Face to Face with Elder and Sister Renlund

Recap and discuss Quote #3.

Chastity isn’t about making yourself an object for someone else. Not keeping yourself pure for a future husband, and also not needing to please someone who is pressuring you to do something you aren’t ready for.

The law of chastity is instructions from Heavenly Father on how to take care of your body and your emotional health. Chastity is how to take care of the gift of your body and the power it gives you.

How can you practice taking care of and valuing your body now? Discuss.Section 3: David and Bathsheba

The scripture story for today is the story of David and Bathsheba.

Read: 2 Samuel 11:2-5, 15-17, 26-27

What happens in this story?What are David’s sins in this story?What does he do wrong besides having sex outside of marriage?How do you think Bathsheba feels throughout this story? Do we know if she loves or even likes David? Do we know how she feels about becoming his wife? Do we know how she feels about her husband?

David broke the law of chastity because he was not married to Bathsheba. But he also took advantage of his power to force a woman to be an object for him. He viewed Bathsheba as an object to be used and stolen.

We are told that the Lord is not happy with David. I think that is because of the basic laws of chastity he broke, and also because of how he treated another person–as if she had no dignity or respect or agency.

The scriptures do not say that the Lord is angry with Bathsheba. If you are ever in a similar situation, where someone has treated you like an object or used their power to coerce you into something you do not want to do, you are not at fault.

What lessons can you learn from David’s mistake in this story? What can you learn from Bathsheba’s position in this story? Discuss.Don’t treat others like objects; if someone treats you like an object or does not respect you as a full person, they are in the wrong.Section 4: Personal goals and boundaries

What happens if you break the law of chastity? What happens if you feel like you made a mistake?

Read Quote #5:

“Chastity is not a kind of perfection. You may have arrived in this world innocent, but chastity is something more than innocence. Chastity is not something you are born with and then break or lose, it is something that is made. Chastity is a habit built over time by way of good choices. It is a power that gathers strength from consistently practicing care and discipline. It is something that must, with years of patient and compassionate effort, be cultivated and grown and gathered and sealed.” Adam Miller, Letters to a Young Mormon

This is a useful way to think about chastity. Chastity is not a thing you can lose or break. There are ways to repent and to continue to be chaste and build a chaste life, even if you make a mistake.

If you feel like you need to talk to a church leader about repentance, you are always welcome to have a parent or a youth leader with you. Many young women might feel awkward discussing sexual things with a bishop or with an older man. You are always allowed to have a parent or a Young Women’s leader with you in a meeting with a bishop or other church leader. We are a resource for you.

One thing we can do to help us live a chaste life is practice setting boundaries in other ways, and with other people in our lives.

What are some boundaries you can set with friends or peers, not romantic ones but just learning not to bow to pressure? Discuss.

Another thing that can help us with chastity, and with other goals, is to write down what we want and intend.

Take a minute to write down your goals and intentions. Maybe those are specific, or maybe they are about things like what age you feel comfortable dating in groups, or dating more seriously. Maybe you don’t want to date seriously until you are finished with high school, or until you serve a mission. Maybe you want to practice going on dates in groups before you graduate. What do you feel comfortable with? What will you do in different situations, so that you don’t feel pressured? This is another thing to talk about with your trusted adult. We will not be sharing these.Close:

Our Heavenly Parents love us, and they want us to be happy. Our bodies and our desires are important, and it’s important to prepare for experiences we hope to have some day. You are not objects for other people: Heavenly Father has given you choices and agency.

Optional: Close with some quiet time/decompression time after a difficult topic by folding the origami lotus flower. I liked the origami object lesson because the paper can represent experience being a beautiful thing instead of a destructive thing.

Important Dates: Summer Issue Launch Party & Fall Call For Submissions

Two important dates to put on your calendar this month:

1) The Summer 2022 Magazine Issue Launch Party – “The ‘Best’ Books” Issue

Come enjoy an hour of incredible readings, art, and community gathering over Zoom on Thursday, July 7 at 6 pm MTN / 8 pm EST. Register: tinyurl.com/summer2022party

What is a launch party?

A launch party, common in publishing, is a formal celebration of a forthcoming book or magazine issue—a place where contributors share parts of their work for an audience to honor the hard work they have done. A launch party is like the movie trailer for the issue and a way to build community among contributors and listeners.

What is the agenda?

Introduction – the host/moderator welcomes everyone to the group and acknowledges the writers and artists on the callCover reveal – the first glimpseLetter from Editor – the first glimpsePresentations – each contributor, depending on the number participating, will receive up to 4 minutes to present. Writers will read a portion of their work and artists will share an image to discussQ&A – With host acting as moderatorConclusion

2) “Friendship” Fall Issue, Last Call for Magazine Submissions – July 15

Our church culture stresses the importance of family. Many of us also experience larger cultural messages that privilege romantic partnerships. Without minimizing or overemphasizing these relationships, we want to make space for another essential part of our lives, often overlooked: friendships, especially female friendships. Joseph Smith said, “Friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism.” Why? How?

Tell us your stories about friendship. When did you first realize the value of friendships in your life, and how? When have you felt spiritually inspired to be a friend to someone unexpected, and when has someone been that friend to you? When have you failed? How have you navigated conflicts, and what did you learn? Do you know a particularly vivid character, or perhaps a mentor, who taught you something you won’t forget anytime soon? How has friendship impacted your faith journey?

Submissions should conform to the mission of Exponent II and follow the submission guidelines. They can be up to 2,400 words (with 1,400 words often being the sweet spot). Send us your work by July 15, 2022.

Finding Mother God, Finding Myself

This address was originally delivered at the “Let’s Talk About Heavenly Mother” fireside on June 25, 2022 at the Provo City Library Ballroom, and can be viewed in video format here.

My name is Ash Rowan, and my pronouns are they/them and he/him.

I’ll start by disclosing that I’m not entirely Mormon these days. It doesn’t feel accurate to say I “left” the LDS Church; I haven’t removed my records, mostly as a gesture of hope, but I also don’t attend services anymore. Since May of last year I’ve been worshiping with a Unitarian Universalist congregation, and doing a bit of what I call “homeschool” or “DIY” Mormonism on the side. I’m still invested in the culture, and some of the doctrine.

Rest assured: my goal is NOT to get any of you to leave the Church. I am going to tell you that faith is a living thing, that it’s yours to define and explore in ways that feel authentic to you. It can be scary. It can be fun. And it can be so deeply meaningful.

2019 in particular, for me, was a year of major self-discovery, and determining what that meant for my relationship with the Church. In April I was formally diagnosed as being autistic, and in July I publicly came out as nonbinary. I was still fairly new to motherhood, and navigating that role and its associated expectations.

Femininity had become a thorny subject for me–I related to it in some ways, but not in others, and the lack of female leadership and femme futures within the Church felt bleak. What was the long-term eternal plan for women, wives, and mothers? And was there room for a queer person like me?

The concept of Heavenly Parents and Heavenly Mother wasn’t entirely foreign. It seemed to me like She’d always been “hidden in plain sight”. Probably like many of you, I had latched onto a reference in the hymn “O My Father,” and various offhand remarks in conference, but was also told that we don’t speak to or about her–because she’s simply too sacred. That reasoning felt flimsy to me, so I dove in deeper. What I kept noticing was an emptiness. A lack of listening to women’s stories. A loss of authority. And just a void where any knowledge of, or relationship with, a Mother Goddess should be.

There weren’t many “approved” resources for learning more. One of my favorites was this book which, surprisingly, you can find at Deseret Book–it’s a picture book called “Our Heavenly Family, Our Earthly Families,” with artwork by Caitlin Connolly. It speaks so naturally about our godly heritage, while also acknowledging the reality of diverse family permutations here on Earth. Each set of pages also features quotes from LDS leaders, including women leaders, describing the nature of our Eternal Parents. I was encouraged to see that Heavenly Mother could exist easily within orthodox views, and that it could be so accessible for kids to learn about Her too. 

For the most part, though, I felt like I had to tiptoe around in what sometimes felt like the restricted area of a library, reading things by Carol Lynn Pearson or Rachel Hunt Steenblik (who I love dearly—but I’d been brought up to believe that feminism was an enemy.) What I found, though, is that the Spirit spoke to me through them just as well as through officially-sanctioned channels: a discovery which, in itself, was a blessing. This was also around the time that Frozen II was released; I related strongly to Elsa’s journey, and the idea of an inner voice calling me out into these uncharted spaces. That was terrifying; I didn’t want to be led astray, or, maybe even worse, lead my kids astray. But I also knew I was being challenged to find a deeper, more authentic faith, and the only way I could do that was by being bold and forging ahead, and trusting that I could trust myself to know Truth when I found it.

The doctrine of Heavenly Mother became a lifeboat for me. Her existence was a promise, filled with hope, that said there was still more to explore. There was still room for discovery, space to reclaim for people and ideas that had previously been relegated to the periphery. The current power system–patriarchal and white and oppressive in nature– wasn’t the only way we had to do things.

If there was room for an Eternal Mother in our cosmology, maybe there could be room for me too. Even if I had to fight to claim that space.

And maybe it didn’t always have to be a fight. Maybe finding and reclaiming Her could be done in small moments too, like expanding every mention of Heavenly Father into Heavenly Parents, or addressing God as “Them” and “She.” One of my most profound spiritual experiences involved singing “A Child’s Prayer” and directing its questions to Heavenly Mother while I rocked my infant son to sleep. I felt Her presence there with us when I asked, “Heavenly Mother, are You really there?”

As I’ve explored my spirituality, I’ve practiced a KonMari approach to faith—a series of intentional choices about the beliefs I want to keep carrying with me. One truth that I have chosen to hold onto is the idea that God is expansive. God is an infinite love that cannot be contained, yet still encompasses femininity alongside masculinity–and, like me, is also some of both, and neither at all.

In finding Heavenly Mother, I have found more of myself, and vice versa. The promise that I belong to both God and Goddess empowers me to be brave, and bold, and to take up room in spaces that used to be closed off to me. 

I see Heavenly Mother’s divine DNA embodied especially well in Jesus, as someone who ministers among the marginalized, and uplifts even unlikely prophets who challenge unjust traditions. She is love: radically unconditional love.

Our Mother God is a radiant refuge, a sustaining force of life we can all come home to, within ourselves and along with each other. She is no longer lost and hidden, and never will be again. 

May we each hear and heed her call, to be healed, to be whole. Amen.

Apocalypse Later

(Alternate title – The End Is Not Nigh)

I joined the church in the mid-1990s. Millennial fervor was high as the end of the century approached. I lived in Silicon Valley, so in addition to the church talk of the end of the world and the second coming, I also got the secular talk of Y2K and how the computer bug would spell the end of life as we know it.

I didn’t think that Jesus would return on exactly January 1, 2000, but I did think that He would return sometime in probably my young adulthood. My YW leaders and seminary teachers and institute teachers assured us that we would be the generation to see the second coming. Scriptural evidence was presented, focusing chiefly on the Book of Revelation and the discussion of the seven seals. It was assumed that we were right at the end of the sixth seal and that Jesus was right around the corner.

I was a junior in college when 9/11 happened. This dialed up the apocalyptic fervor even higher. I finished college and left on my mission. Missionaries spend a lot of time discussing esoteric gospel theories because there really isn’t much else to do for entertainment in our rare down time. The end of the world was a common topic. (The second Iraq war started right around the time I left on my mission, so that was more apocalyptic fuel.) By that time, I still thought that the second coming would be within my lifetime, but I figured middle age by then. I saw that there were some of the signs of the times that were still unfulfilled. The gospel hadn’t been preached to every nation. There hadn’t been a 2 1/2 year war in Jerusalem, and two prophets hadn’t been killed in the streets and resurrected.

The other missionaries still thought it was a matter of years, not decades. A visiting general authority came to a mission conference about halfway through my mission, and when he was talking, he asked for a show of hands of who thought it was possible that the second coming could be tomorrow. I was the only person in the room who didn’t raise my hand. His response: “How long does a 2 1/2 year war take?” and all the hands sheepishly went down. I don’t remember the rest of his talk. I only remember that one line.

Apocalyptic rhetoric in the church seemed to wane after my mission in favor of other topics like reminding singles that we forgot to get married. Where food storage used to be a monthly or quarterly topic of discussion at church, it then became more like annual if at all. I noticed a brief uptick in 2020 when Covid hit, but the end of the world rhetoric seemed to wane quickly. I thought about the second coming from time to time, and several years ago I settled on my pet theory.

I now believe that the end of the world will be at the literal end of the world. According to our best understanding of science, the earth is about 5 billion years old, and the sun has about 5 billion more years left before going nova and destroying the solar system. The church teaches that Jesus was born in the meridian of time, i.e. somewhere in the middle of the earth’s existence. When we’re talking billions of years, 2000 years is nothing. It’s roughly the middle now, and it was roughly the middle 2000 years ago when Jesus lived.

Supernova explosion in Casseopia – Public Domain

Descriptions of the destruction preceding the second coming are consistent with what would happen when a star goes nova – the sun darkening, the moon turning to blood, the stars in the heavens appearing to cast themselves from the sky, the earth reeling to and fro like a drunken man, the earth becoming like a sea of glass, and finally silence. A new heaven and a new earth.

Additionally, although I was always taught at church that we’re living near the end of the sixth seal, my read of Revelation 6 is more consistent with us still being in the fifth seal. The fifth seal is where the church is building up and is on the face of the land. The sixth seal is the cataclysmic destruction of the earth as described above.

I knew peers when I was in college who felt that planning for the future was futile because the world was going to end soon anyway. They were hesitant to live their lives because they didn’t think they would get to have them. By contrast, my view that the end of the world is still billions of years off has given me hope and an ability to plan to live for many decades more.

In the grand scheme of things, though, it matters little whether the second coming is 5 years away or 5 billion years away. In the end, we all die, and we all meet our Maker. And if we live good and holy lives and repent when we fall short, the end result will be the same either way. Either we will be caught up to meet the Lord, or we will die and be brought into His presence with the words “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”