Tracy Engelbrecht's Blog, page 15

What is this "sleep" of which you speak?

You know that thing where you lie down, usually, close your eyes for – I dunno – I've heard tell of 8 hours or so, there's often some snuffly noises and drool is possible? And then after the magical eight hours you apparently do this thing called "wake up" and then you feel all "refreshed" and "well-rested"? Ja you may well snigger. It sounds a bit far-fetched, hey? A bit woo-hoo away with the fairies farty-tarty silly and not to be taken seriously at ALL by intelligent rational types such as ourselves.

You know that thing? Don't worry if you haven't heard of it, I won't point and laugh at you, I've certainly never seen a live one myself, only in books and the movies.

What's it called again? Oh – yes, wait for it, it's such a funny, foreign, exotic word, not sure I can pronounce it….

- "SLEEP", I believe?

Sorry to be bearer of bad news, hopeful chums. Like Santa, the Easter Bunny and One Size Fits All, Sleep is a myth. Not a real thing. Fake. A scam. A con. Ectoplasm for the 21st century, and just as hard to photograph convincingly. An urban legend of epic and global proportions, such as only happens to Other People.

The promise of this weird and unlikely thing, this "SLEEP", if you will – is a cruel and unusual torture tactic devised by persons unknown to turn the brains of hapless believers (parents of small, medium & large children, writers, computer programmers, guilt-ridden people with issues of all kinds, people with uncomfortable beds, everybody in the world on hot summer nights & stormy winter ones, and all those stupid enough to eat bananas after 10pm) – where was I – oh yes – brains yadda yadda – to MUSH.

We're told they should be getting some of this Sleep. We're told it's possible and we can have it any time we want and it just sounds so damn goooood. We want it and crave it and if only we could have just five more minutes of it we'd be so happy. Complete, even. And yet, yet….

So we climb into our Could-Be-Sold-By-Verimark Must-Have Sleep Modules, quaintly known as "Beds", turn off the light and…. wait. Like the jolly fat dude in the red suit (and also Santa), the mythical Sleep doesn't turn up when it's meant to. Are we surprised?

Alternatively we take the intelligent route and completely ignore the ridiculous media-inspired craving for fripperies and push on regardless, because everybody knows that 2am is exactly the correct time to be pacing the kitchen devising Excel spreadsheets in your head.

For those of us on that  sensible but lonely & crumb-ridden path, once again at 12H06 we're listening to the dogs snuffle and fart and typing gibberish and wondering why – WHY AFTER 3 NIGHTS , AN ENTIRE LOAF OF CINNAMON TOAST & WORRYINGLY UNCONTROLLABLE EYE-TWITCHING FOR THE LOVE OF FARKING PETE – can't I get my new online store to look all nice and purty like other people do?

*Whimper*

I give up. It's going up, just as is. Use it, don't fecking use it. Pfffleh. (same like "meh", only worser)

I had written just here that it was ready to go but I've now gone and fucked it up beyond all human recognition and it's gone to database heaven to play with the fairies, leaving me in database hell.

No…. more…… pleeeeeeeeeease…..

Apologies to anybody who tried to access it in the meantime and got a nasty message. Take me out behind the barn and put me out of my misery why don't you.

Rambling now. Grip on reality lost about an hour ago.

Need more cinnamon toast.

Back in the saddle

Woopedy woopedy woooop de do

So it's really happening. We're really having a SECOND (count 'em…wait for it…. TWO!) teen mom support group meeting on 29 January

More details here, if you know of anyone who needs it, please let them know.

I haven't been around for ages. All sorts of things got in the way of blogging and tweeting and fb'ing. Stuff called life and summer and family and stuff. I'm okay with that. Was nice to take a break from it.

In other news, it's back to school for one newly-hatched Grade 4 girl tomorrow. Excited with a dash of apprehension and just a smidgen of ohyeahlookatmei'mthecoolestinmynewcheckedbluedress

The newly-hatched Grade 11 goes back on Wednesday only; the excitement level is a bit down on previous years, it does get a bit same-ish after 11 years of it, I'll admit. Still, I shouldn't complain because just 2 more years and then everything changes. I'll be wishing for the ol' SSDD by then, I guess.

Oh, I did a book giveaway of The Girl Who Couldn't Say No on Goodreads.com last week, the winners were picked and I sent the books off to them today. All UK & US with entirely unpronounceable names. Probably shoulda included glossary the word "kak", for example, is use enough times to make understanding it quite vital to proceedings. Hopefully context and Google will help.

House is quiet. Bed calls. Dogs will start barking as soon as I get under my nice fresh crispy duvet. It happens that way.

The Mommies

Our first meeting today. Yes, people did come. Not many, but they were there. Mommies and other women who wanted to help. They made the effort to catch a taxi, walk and make their way with newborns and pregnant tummies from Masi & Ocean View to our little room at the hospital.

We ate cookies, we chatted, we laughed. I learnt a lot, including the fact that all mommies talk about the same stuff. Hopefully, being there helped somebody, even if just for today. And next time, they say, they're bringing their friends.

I was so proud to see how well those young mommies are mothering their babies. Their confidence in the way they handled their tiny babies and their obvious love and commitment to their children was beautiful.  I was reminded again of something huge:

It's not about money. It's not about stuff.

What those mommies (ALL mommies) need most of all, above all else, is PEOPLE. People who love them, care for them, pay attention to them and are there when things are hard. Sometimes just people willing to listen.

If they have those people, despite financial hardships and difficult environments, all mothers can succeed. Without those people who care, even with every fancy baby gadget in the world, medical aid and fancy house, mothering is HARD.

And for some people, it's just too hard. Those alone mommies on the edge are the ones we need to find. And they could be anyone.

Today's mommies are doing great. I'm honoured to know them all. Thank you for sharing with me.

Teen Mom Support

Well. Finally the day has arrived.

Last day of work for the year, and believe me it couldn't come soon enough. Feels like I've been clawing my way towards 4pm today using only my teeth and fingernails for 6 months.

And now, finally, eventually, desperately awaited, it is here.

Please allow me a little yay.

YAY!

Woop woop dance of joy silly happy face and so on

And on to better things.

Tomorrow is our first Teen Mom Support Group meeting, also at long last.

Still have loads of things to do, stuff to organise and nerves to silence. Who knows, it is very possible that I will be all alone with 100 pink cookies and sad face.

Like this one.

Thank you to everybody who has expressed interest and wanted to help and been so lovely. After tomorrow, once I have a plan going forward and know more about the moms who'll be in the group, I'll be in touch with everybody again to beg/plead/wheedle/connive/catchmoreflieswithhoney/ for donations of goodies.

Everyday something new happens to make me realise that this is so important and so needed and that I'm not crazy for wanting to do it.

There are moms out there who need me and Imma gonna find 'em.

So just as a reminder, again.

YOUNG MOMS SUPPORT GROUP

Are you a young or teenage mom?

Do you feel alone or stressed?

Need to talk?

Need to make new friends?

Come and join us for coffee and cake

Bring your kiddies along

Meet other moms, have a chat & relax

We'll listen & support each other

Where: False Bay Hospital Hall, 17th Avenue, Fish Hoek, Cape Town

When: Saturday 18 December 2010

Time: 10h30 – 12h30

No charge

For more information:

Call Tracy Engelbrecht on 0729863105

Or email: tracy@tracyengelbrecht.com

Website: http://tracyengelbrecht.com

Five Things #11

1. This post is late cos I've been a bit busy what with making volcano cakes and hawaiian birthday parties and trying not to be hit with a stick while holding the flowery pinata.

2. Exhausting weekend. Too many sweets, cookies and gallons of punch. Too much of demonstrating to 9 yr old girls the correct way to spray canned cream directly into your mouth. A nice plain piece of Melrose toast and a quiet spot to sit is my idea of heaven right now.

3. Have realised I have nice children. Kind to each other, kind to me, willing and helpful and protective of each other. Not that I didn't know this before, but those moments when it hits home again are always so welcome.

4. So many new people coming into my life – it's a weird feeling. I've always been a bit of a loner – shy, but still happy to be on my own most of the time. People are a little alien to me, and being in the eyes of late is even more alien-er. Er.

Er. Ja, you know what I mean. Not unpleasant, just… new.

5. That dude from the Dept Social Development postponed our meeting last week and is coming to see me tomorrow re. the support group. We're meeting at my work, which is not ideal. Funny looks and evil mutterings may ensue. However, the other option is taking time off to see him. Was off sick 3 days in November, off for a day for the Great Expectations show, and again off Monday last week cos Conor & Layla were sick. It adds up, the guilt piles on and I feel like everybody hates me. Sigh.

Anyway. Am off now to babysit delightful nephew for the night. Love that boy, he's delicious.

Wish me luck for tomorrow?

Teen Moms in the Far South

Lookeee here at this excellent and most aw-shucksy report in today's False Bay Echo.

Yes, it's not exactly the New York Times. It is, however, read by the people we're trying to reach.

(Hark at me using the word "we" all the time, when really it's only lil old batty me in my pyjamas rattling off emails while watching Phineas & Ferb. "We" just sounds so official-like, don't ya think?)

Ancient spinster reminiscing

2003 pics

Oh my word how'd everyone get so big? And when did I get so old?

Feeling a little rushed and breathless. Where did all those days go?

Five Things #10

Been a busy week. So much thinking and planning and scheming to do. Loving it.

So today's Five Things will be things I've done to plan for our teen mom support group. If you have other ideas, PLEASE COMMENT BELOW and lemme know. I'm trying hard to get the word out but terrified that it'll end up being just me and 100 pink cupcakes sitting all alone on the day.

As a refresher – here are the details:

Sat 18 December 10h30 -12h30

False Bay Hospital Hall (2nd floor above casualty entrance), 17th Ave, Fish Hoek

No charge, bring yourself & your kiddies

1. Have chatted with and sent details to all the clinics, maternity units and hospitals in the area – all seem to think it's a great idea and are spreading the word amongst their patients

2. Have submitted details to events calendars online and in print

3. Have chatted with various local newspapers to arrange exposure and / or interviews

4. Have sent details of group and info re. plans to all local radio stations (no response yet, bit sad about that, specially as many of them have given a lot of airtime recently to the topic of the problem of teen pregnancy)

5. Have received official acknowledgements (but nothing further than that yet) for my correspondence sent to the local councillors, department of social development (Patricia de Lille's office), the mayor's office and the office of the Premier.

Have also had people distributing flyers in the local community – next step is to accost people on the street and give them my bits of paper

What am I missing? Who am I missing? Who can help me spread the word? Don't make me eat my cupcakes by myself people, please.

Thank you love you bye

Lingerie Lessons

Underwear malfunction yesterday. Maybe I got away with it unnoticed, maybe all were too polite to say. Will see if persons in question manage to look me in the eye today.

At work nonchalantly chatting to visiting man of some kind and other office man when out of the blue, the catch on the back of cheap Mr Price bra pops open and hurtles previously incarcerated boobage (such as it is)  forward jauntily towards freedom and fresh air… *SPPPPOING!!!*

Various straps and lacy bits tried flying towards Visiting-Man and Other-Office-Man, deforming the chest area quite substantially for a second (Quasimodo if he had his hump on the front),  only to be thwarted at the last moment (HUZZAH! Take that you villain/cad/bounder/blackguard!) by the fortunately quite tight t-shirt.

Which meant…. *SPPPPOING!!!*…. various elastic-y things hit me in the chest and came quite close to removing my chin.

As today is Thanksgiving somewhere in the world I believe, today I am grateful for the following lessons imparted by the Great Escape :

1. Breast implants are never going to be an option for me as I can't be trusted to keep them where they belong. If I'd had them I'd be in a coma right now, tragically brain dead, vegetised by a chunk of silicone to the face.

2. Mr Price bras  don't object to being fixed with paperclips and elastic bands

3. I so totally don't need to be cool

4. Am impervious to the snooty, the snobby, the stupid and the shallow. I.e. you can laugh and point at me for having a broken Mr Price bra and small boobs, but don't expect me to care.(explanation was for the stupid portion of the abovementioned group)

5. For the finally cemented knowledge (after many years) that there is nothing better for me to be than myself.

Support Young Moms

To catch you up if you've missed it:

I live in the Far South of Cape Town… Fish Hoek, Simon's Town, Ocean View etc.

In our area, there is very little in the way of support for young or teenage moms. There might be "crisis pregnancy" organisations – but once the baby is born – if that's what's decided – who's there to help?

Is there ANYONE out there willing to help or doesn't have a moral / religious / political agenda of their own to push? Not that I've seen. And believe me, I've looked. I've been looking for 17 years, even since I was a 15 year old Fish Hoek mom.

Young moms are often ostracised completely, or more subtly excluded from the usual "moms and tots" kind of activities. Feeling alone as a first time mom can be devastating, especially if you're a teenager who may have lost many of her friends as well.

And as I've said a GAZILLION times: A mom who feels like she's doing a good and important job, who's mothering is VALUED by her family and community – will always be better for her children.

So this is the plan so far…

A coffee and cake morning where young moms can get together and yak with their kiddies, have a chat, make some new friends in the same boat, and go home feeling like there is hope.

Like there are people out there who have lived lives like theirs and made it. That it's possible.

Our first meeting is booked for Saturday 18 December at 10h30, at False Bay Hospital.

I'm handing out fliers, the local paper will do an editorial, am going to contact schools and clinics to spread the word.

After this first meeting, we'll see what response we get. Hopefully I won't be sitting there all alone with 100 cupcakes and no-one to eat them!

Eventually I'd like to build our group up into something bigger… Would love to be able to offer :

practical support such as food hampers, second hand clothes, baby toiletries etc.
information on completing schooling, child support grants, maintenance
skills training and employment opportunities
talks and workshops to inspire & educate
childcare while studying, training, or working
family counselling and support – fathers and grandparents are important too!
And whatever else we can think of…. I'd love to think BIG

What I need now:

toys for kidlets to play with while they're there – puzzles, drawing stuff, playdough, dollies etc
refreshments – tea, coffee, sugar, juice, cookies etc for on the day

I can handle the refreshments myself this time, but DO need help with collecting toys.

Can you help?

With ideas, with stuff, or just spreading the word?

Please lemme know

email tracy@tracyengelbrecht.com

or call 0729863105

Thank you thank you

MWAH