Jane Jago's Blog, page 5
October 8, 2025
Word of the Day – Bratwurst
In an effort to educate the nominally literate and inform those with sufficient humility to understand their own lack of comprehension, Esme offers the correct definition of misunderstood words…
Bratwurst(noun – pronunciation note: brat first) Child-centric lifestyle wherein the offspring are consulted on every aspect of life. Example: Simon and Niobe’s bratwurst extended to family decisions about where to shop and who slept in which bed on any night. (noun – pronunciation note: boug...
October 7, 2025
Dai and Julia – Secrets
In a modern-day Britain where the Roman Empire never left, Dai and Julia solve murder mysteries, whilst still having to manage family, friendship and domestic crises…
Dai watched the familiar countryside roll by and tried to forget, rather than obsess about, the fact that he was lying to his bride of less than a month – and on two issues. Well, lying by omission. He had promised himself he was not going to keep anything from her about his working life. She had lived it herself and her securit...
Dai and Julia – Secrets
In a modern-day Britain where the Roman Empire never left, Dai and Julia solve murder mysteries, whilst still having to manage family, friendship and domestic crises…
Dai watched the familiar countryside roll by and tried to forget, rather than obsess about, the fact that he was lying to his bride of less than a month – and on two issues. Well, lying by omission. He had promised himself he was not going to keep anything from her about his working life. She had lived it herself and her securit...
October 6, 2025
How To Be Old – A Beginner’s Guide! (14)
Advice on growing old disgracefully from an elderly delinquent with many years of expertise in the art – plus free optional snark…
You are old and that can’t be much fun
You should sit home and live like a nun
But you’ve pierced both your nipples
And you rode a Speed Triple
Round the Nurburgring clocking a ton
How To Be Old – A Beginner’s Guide! (14)
Advice on growing old disgracefully from an elderly delinquent with many years of expertise in the art – plus free optional snark…
You are old and that can’t be much fun
You should sit home and live like a nun
But you’ve pierced both your nipples
And you rode a Speed Triple
Round the Nurburgring clocking a ton
October 5, 2025
Acetic
Like onions in a bottle
Fat and white we float
Hemmed about by vinegar
Pickled lest we vote
The silverbacks ignored us
Until we made a joke
Misunderstood the acid
Resent the fun we poked
Insulted by our rigour
They stun us with their smoke
Acetic, icy, broke
October 4, 2025
Aeva’s Challenge – II
A tale of angels, demons and dragons…
For a moment there was shocked silence, then the Fighters turned as one entity and looked at the slight grey-clad figure. She opened her robe and dropped it to the floor before turning her back and sliding her undervest down to expose her shoulder blades and the deep irregular scars where her father’s obsidian knife had sawn away her wings.
To her surprise, the largest of the Fighters stepped forward and picked up her robe – settling it about her body ...
October 3, 2025
Granny’s Pearls of Wisdom – Inappropriate
Pearls of wisdom from an octogenarian who’s seen it all…
Why do they do it?
I’m as fond as the next woman of a honed, tanned and tattooed young male body (although the effort necessary to achieve it argues a worrying level of narcissism). What pisses on my strawberries big time is the unlovely sight of a fat, sweaty pensioner dressed in nothing but a snot rag and a cheese wire.
These guys are inevitably a weird shade of magenta and liberally endowed with white body hair. Their bellies p...
October 2, 2025
Darkling Drabble 5
A darkling drabble offers a shiver of horror in a hundred words…
The smell brought women to their front doors and prudent wives closed their windows.
“What be that?”
The oldest among them pointed to the mouldering stones of the castle that stood high above them, and the plume of oily black smoke that hung around it.
“They’m burning a body.”
“Question is, who. Is it the old one? Or have he won again?”
The youngest wife sighed. “I don’t suppose us’ll ever know. But that knight w...
October 1, 2025
Word of the Day – Fantastic
In an effort to educate the nominally literate and inform those with sufficient humility to understand their own lack of comprehension, Esme offers the correct definition of misunderstood words…
Fantastic(noun – pronunciation note: Fanta stick) Wooden ‘handle’ used to eat iced lollies made from a particular brand of sweet lemonade. Example: The fantastic was now covered in melting iced lolly, which was happily running down little Jenny’s arm and making the sleeve of her cardigan a soggy ...
