Jane Jago's Blog, page 2

Aeva’s Challenge – IX

A tale of angels, demons and dragons…

Thor cleared his throat. “I wondered where all the berserkers went,” he said mildly, “so I went looking for Loki. Found him trying to release a certain wingless demon. I may have lost it a bit down there.”
Lucifer looked to Aeva to be torn between laughter and annoyance, in the end Thor looked so much like a schoolboy caught out in mischief that laughter won.
“Any fatalities?”
“Not that I remember. But there’s a few demons in an iron cage and that wingless b...

Granny’s Pearls of Wisdom – Food Pics

Pearls of wisdom from an octogenarian who’s seen it all…

I’m as fond of food as anyone, and I cook some pretty mean stuff. But the day I plate it and stick it on a carefully dressed table in order to post a picture (or effin video!) of it on Facebland or Instayawn or Tricktoke you have my full permission to slap me about the head with a wet fish and have me committed. 

Worse still?

Being in a restaurant and perfectly willing to let food go cold so one can be a pretentious poser.

Just...

Darkling Drabble 12

A darkling drabble offers a shiver of horror in a hundred words…

The vigilantes had been hunting her for three generations, though they no longer had any idea why. 

In a street of tamped earth next to a stockyard full of bawling beeves, they finally found her. Tiny, she was and as wizened as a season-dead black beetle, but the twin sixguns were rock steady in her hands.

The shooting commenced, and she pretty soon took four loads of buckshot which all but blew her in half.

Only she wo...

Puppy Poems – II

Poems of puppy Fozzie Jago as he is exploring and experiencing the world!

There is a walking place
Where I goes wiv humum
Where ugly fings wif fevvers
Swears at me and my chum
Me would like to bite they
But mum says firmly no
So I does do my angry bark
And in the wet they go

Jane Jago

Dai and Julia – Dangerous Driving

In a modern-day Britain where the Roman Empire never left, Dai and Julia solve murder mysteries, whilst still having to manage family, friendship and domestic crises…

Dai carefully unfolded the hanging and held it up for Aelwen to inspect. She put her head on one side and her brow drew into tight lines, as if she were a critic appraising the latest offering from an acclaimed artist.
The thing was lovely. From the carefully beaded knotwork pattern that bordered the edge to the gloriously vivid ...

How To Be Old – A Beginner’s Guide! (20)

Advice on growing old disgracefully from an elderly delinquent with many years of expertise in the art – plus free optional snark…

If your’re old then you should keep to this
And not be caught having a kiss
With a handsom young buck
Who just had a luck-
Key escape from a much younger miss!

Eleanor Swift-Hook

Space Cargoes

Battleship of red plasteel from Alpha Centauri
Making warp speed easily above a dead star
With a cargo of human slaves
Rarest furs, jewellery
Golden lace, silver shoes and racing cars

Supersonic cruiser coming from a black hole
Slipping through the galaxy without time to stay
With a cargo of statuary
Painted whores, exotic goods
Platinum, sapphire rings, and velvet grey

Grungy earthling trader with a pockmarked dark hull
Crashing through the atmosphere and killing trees
With a cargo of tractors
Isoto...

Aeva’s Challenge – VIII

A tale of angels, demons and dragons…

He lifted his handsome head and bellowed skywards. Almost at once the dragon audience found itself mirrored by a line of demons, while a portal opened somewhere behind Aeva and she could hear the sound of marching feet.
“Please tell me he didn’t do that,” Aeva moaned.
Adamo looked over his shoulder. “He did,” he said shortly. “But it seems that he has set some kind of a gaes on them because they are silent and lining up quietly.”
“Oh. I see. Holding them in ...

Granny’s Pearls of Wisdom – Chewing Gum

Pearls of wisdom from an octogenarian who’s seen it all…

I have no philosophical objection to gum chewing. If you wish to masticate plastic then that is fine by me.

But.

Effing well dispose of it properly.

That means. 

Not. 

On the pavement. 

Under the edge of the pub table. 

Stuck to the wall next to wherever you are sitting.

Etcetera.

Remove the disgusting globule from your gob. Wrap it in a tissue. And put it in the bin!

Darkling Drabble 11

A darkling drabble offers a shiver of horror in a hundred words…

Doug was a little, skinny man who sat in the window of his little, skinny shop mending clocks. He was a fixture in the city, and as reliable as the dawn. So the day he wasn’t there there, a hunt was called. But there was no sign. The city burghers sent for a finder who led them to a half-forgotten graveyard, where a moss-encrusted headstone marked Doughall Snaith’s last resting place.

The mayor had to be revived with smelling...