Ajay Shesh's Blog, page 5

BREAKING DOWN SUCCESS; CAN THERE BE A FORMULA?

Consider this formula:

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Success = Primary luck + Hard Work + Other Factors + Secondary Luck

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PRIMARY LUCK

So will you call the boy unlucky? And, can I term myself as lucky because I had the privilege of being looked after with compassion and firmness during my vulnerable years? Probably, yes. We cannot choose our parents, family and the environment we grow in. For the longest time, we remain completely dependent on our family and surroundings for our physical, mental, emotional and spiritua...

IS THERE SOMETHING CALLED LUCK? A REFLECTION…

I want to initiate the discourse on the next topic by discussing a certain incident that has left an everlasting impact on my life.

To avoid traffic, I once opted for a shorter way. En route, I witnessed a very common scenario in Indian society. I saw an alcoholic father physically abusing his young son. The little child was quivering in fear and pain; his mother watched helplessly as the man viciously attacked him. The boy’s soul was broken and irreparable damage was inflicted on his mind, b...

OTHER WAYS TO COPE: COACHING AND BEING WORTHY

All this while, I have been talking about the importance of confessions, apologies, penance and feedback. But let me tell you that writing and reading about something and having the courage to practice the same with focused determination are completely different things. Overcoming one’s ego and following these virtues is not for the faint-hearted. Without concerted efforts, none of it can work.

A professional coach can greatly assist you in such matters. A coach is someone who is trained to...

HOW TO APPROACH FEEDBACK? HOW TO MAKE USE OF IT?

The first question is why do we need feedback at all? If I am following a set pattern that is working for me, there is no need to look for opinions. Yes, you aren’t causing any harm by following these methods but you are letting go of the chance to do better. You may be under the impression that your practices are perfect but in reality, there could be a communication gap that you are completely unaware of. And to understand how you can upgrade your skills and bridge this gap, feedback is cru...

CONFESSIONS: TO YOURSELF AND TO THE WORLD

The phrase, “confess your mistake” is so prevalent because it has rich philosophical and practical undertones that truly help one to cope with guilt. When you have made a mistake and you know it, the hardest but the best way to deal with it is to confess that you made a mistake.

Before anything, confess to yourself that you’ve made a mistake and something should be about it. This acceptance gives you the courage to approach those who have been affected and make a sincere apology.  It depends...

THE NEED OF THE HOUR: TAKING MENTAL HEALTH SERIOUSLY

Coping with unhealthy guilt is definitely not a matter to be taken lightly. Sadly, very few of us take mental health to be a serious matter. The most common approach is to suppress the emotional turmoil and pretend that by ignoring its existence, it will disappear. For something as important as mental health, this method of addressing the matter is unacceptable. Guilt, especially unhealthy guilt, needs time, effort and kindness to overcome. And no one should be ashamed or afraid to take the n...

THAT NIGGLING FEELING: WHICH GUILT IS THAT?

We are now looking at two kinds of guilt: healthy and unhealthy.

GUILT AS A STIMULANT FOR CHANGE (HEALTHY GUILT)

When we commit a mistake, we are enveloped with feelings of dejection and worry for we now to face its outcome. But we may convert this pessimism into positivity by learning from the consequences of our mistakes. They may cause us temporary pain but they are the best teachers. Healthy guilt will help you in the following ways:

It helps us to stay within the boundaries of our own...

THAT NIGGLING FEELING: IS THAT GUILT?

What is the feeling most synonymous with mistakes? It is that of regret and guilt. Guilt is an unavoidable part of the mistakes we’ve committed. It is an emotion that stems from performing an action that is at odds with our convictions and value system. Guilt is not only emotional but can be experienced cognitively. I read a beautiful piece by Monisha Shrichand on the dynamics of guilt. She states that every individual feels guilty at some point in their lives. There is no point in running aw...

PRESERVING THE BEAUTY OF YOUTH: DEALING WITH HORMONES

FACTOR EIGHT: HORMONES

I believe that this factor is important for both youngsters coping with the changes of their teenage years and their parents. In youth, hormones are surging and the mind is not mature enough to manage the turmoil of dealing with physical and emotional changes. Mistakes of an amorous nature might occur, causing mental disturbance to the parties involved. And if one is not careful, certain unintentional errors could be harmful to the body and mind for many years to come,...

TITLE: WHEN DO I FIGHT? WHEN DO I NOT? We must understan...

TITLE: WHEN DO I FIGHT? WHEN DO I NOT?

We must understand when to fight for something and when to let go. I have come up with two questions which will help you make this evaluation. By answering them, you gain perspective on whether you need to spend any emotional or physical energy on a matter and if you do, how much of it. This is the easiest way to prevent overreactions that will deeper repercussions in the future.

Is your relationship with the person you’re arguing with more important t...