Alexa Nichols's Blog - Posts Tagged "patreon"

Today has been all about Soundcloud. I created an account, filled in all the information, and uploaded samples of all my audiobooks. It took several hours (😳) but it all came out pretty good. What really took me by surprise was halfway through I was notified that people from Germany and Indonesia were already listening to my uploads!

Now I just need to get it all integrated into my website…

Anyway, since that pretty much hijacked my day (along with the end of the month tasks), I figured I would enlighten you to some interesting articles I’ve posted on Patreon these past few weeks. None of the titles is clickbait, all are straight from the heart, and you can read them on the $1/Month Patron tier. I post a new article about once a week, so there will always be new content. Check them out. 😊



How I Lost My Virginity

https://www.patreon.com/posts/16851625



How I Write A Book

https://www.patreon.com/posts/16927729



My Real-Life Day Job (It’s Not Writing)

https://www.patreon.com/posts/17076145



My Three Favorite Types of Porn

https://www.patreon.com/posts/my-thre...



My Gaming Collection

https://www.patreon.com/posts/my-gami...



30 Explicit Sex Questions – Answered!

https://www.patreon.com/posts/17315648



12 Deep Questions

https://www.patreon.com/posts/12-deep...



Why I Have Insomnia

https://www.patreon.com/posts/why-i-h...



A Touching Conversation

https://www.patreon.com/posts/17792535



That’s all for now, beloved readers. Tomorrow: writing! 📖

Until then…

My big brother convinced me I blew my nostril off when I was younger. We were playing video games on his Sega Genesis (I think I was whipping him at Mortal Kombat) and I started sneezing uncontrollably. After a particularly powerful sneeze, he looked at me, dropped his controller, and made this mock terrified sound and started manically looking around on the floor.

He startled me so much that I quit sneezing and asked him what he was doing (after pausing the game so he couldn’t use this as an excuse). It was then he informed me that I sneezed so hard that last time that my nostril flew off. I panicked and dropped to the floor, trying to find it, and when I couldn’t, I went running to find my mother to get her to help me look for it.

My brother had to stand in the corner for an entire half hour as punishment.

Roughly five minutes later I was in the opposite corner for throwing toys at his head. 😁

He got me back shortly after though: we were playing hide and go seek, and I hid in the washer. He found me quickly (I was giggling) but didn’t let me know, and nearly gave me a heart attack by turning the damn thing on for several seconds.

I got him back later that week by framing him for murder though. When our parents came home from work I was in the kitchen, ketchup smeared on my body and butcher knife stuck in between my armpit and arm. He was supposed to be babysitting me but was playing video games in his room instead. My mom freaked, but my father instantly saw through it. I was grounded for a week.

Good times, good times.

I don’t know why, but memories have been flooding my mind today, and since my brother has been out all day I can’t reminisce with him – so you guys get stuck with it. 😁

As far as Saturday’s go, this has been an unusually productive and upbeat one. I wrote on Knocking Up The MILF for about six hours (since I won’t be able to write Monday due to real life bullshit), approved the 15 minute sample for the audiobook version of Amore: A Love Story (the narrator is amazing, I can’t wait for her to finish!), and managed to gain a new Patreon follower!

All in all, a good day.

Thanks for reading. 💋

This has been a weird day. My internet has been continually shutting on and off, Patreon is doing something strange with my supporter payments (😳), and my brother has been bizarrely emo all day. I’ve been trying to spend as much time with him as I can while still getting things accomplished, but when his issues are with your assistant (who also happens to be his fiancée) and an old friend (who happens to be his ex, and also a writer), things become slightly complicated.

And then there’s my first of the month tasks, a good chunk of which spilled over from yesterday and are still not finished.

As strange and full as the day was, I still managed to be a little productive: I worked on the rough draft of Naughty Professor for a little over three hours (almost finishing it), and uploaded Good Girls Gone Bad for a July 1st prerelease. They’ve apparently already approved it since it has an ASIN number and everything, so preorder it now! 😍 Tomorrow I’ll be fixing the weird book description text that is spaced all to hell for some reason and creating the paperback/hiring a narrator for the audiobook.

I am one busy wench!

Speaking of being a busy wench.

I worked with my web dude (who is the most impressive web dude in history, FYI) to get Soundcloud linked to the audiobooks section of the website. So from now on when you go there you’ll see a widget on the very top that will allow you to play a sample of all my audiobooks; if you go to a books blown up description page, you’ll see it’s audiobook widget on the top of that, too. It’s beautiful, and I love it. He did a miraculous job!

Topic switch.

Apparently, I got quite a few of you yesterday with my April Fool’s Day joke about getting banned by Amazon. 😅 You guys should have known better! First of all, I’m way too slick would never do anything to give them a reason to ban me, so you guys have nothing to worry about. And as far as retiring goes, that is so not going to happen – I love writing way too much. Throw in getting paid for it and it’s just too enticing of a tincture not to drink. I would never just quit. I make take breaks occasionally, but quit? Hell no.

You motherfuckers are stuck with me.

Anyway, I still have more tasks to assassinate, so until tomorrow, my loves,

I am…

The entire theme of my day has to be fuck Amazon. It seems like every spare second of my day has been taken up going back and forth with them over the motherfucking cover for the paperback version of Good Girls Gone Bad, which they swear is either 1) too small or 2) too big. No matter how I resize it or how correct it looks in their previewer, they keep alternating their complaints.

It’s genuinely fucking ridiculous. I should have just left it the way it was.

What’s even more maddening is no matter what I say to them, they just send form letter after form letter, like it’s some kind of automated machine cranking out responses with little to no human interaction. Now that I think about it, that might actually be the case, especially considering the news story that came across my feed this morning about Amazon customers saying they’ve been mysteriously locked out of their accounts — and they have no idea why.

Not that Facebook seems to be doing much better.

But I digress.

Even though I am (at this writing) still going back and forth with Amazon and my bestie is determined to distract me by sending provocative pics of herself while she’s at work (which I almost reposted just to fuck with her), I did manage to completely finish the rough draft of Naughty Professor (you can read it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/naughty...) and almost complete the revision of When Daddy Was Away. I even managed to dabble a bit in the revised version of Nephilim: Daybreak. It was a good, productive day, Amazon and bestie noods notwithstanding.

Now. To drink or not to drink. That is the motherfucking question…

Liver: Not to drink.
Me: What the fuck? Since when did you start talking?
Liver: Drinking is harmful to your health. What’s the point of all that working out if you’re just going to drink?
Me: Bitch shut up. I let you make it these past couple weeks; you have it coming. Besides, you know I’m trying to write a Diary entry here, right? We can hash this out later.
Liver: I’ll send your noods.
Me: Motherfucker, if I get drunk enough, I’ll send my own noods. And maybe even my vidz.
Liver: …
Me: That’s what I thought. Checkmate, bitch. ✊

#Alexa

Dear Diary,

So, I have some good news, some bad news, and some kinky news.

Da Good News
· I didn’t wake up with a hangover. 🙌
· Amazon must have read my Diary entry last night because roughly 15 minutes after I published it they accepted the paperback edition of Good Girls Gone Bad. If you just can’t wait until the eBook version comes out on July 1st, you can buy the paperback version here: https://buff.ly/2qeJxMg.
· My new revision of When Daddy Was Away, which includes a new cover, tons of grammatical corrections and an updated aesthetic can be bought here: https://buff.ly/2GEktsd. For those of you who already purchased the book, you should be able to go into your Kindle and get the updated version for free. At least that’s what Amazon tells me. I Note that the paperback and audiobook cover and content are still the same; this will be changed Monday. I’m not doing shit this weekend work-wise. Refuse. Which leads me to…


Da Bad News
· I have been feeling utterly lethargic all day, and I have no idea why. I wanted to get some writing done, but my energy is just Maybe I just need to chill and be lazy for a few days.
· My big brother has been in a foul mood all day, and he refuses to tell me why. I even tried spider monkeying him. Didn’t work. That almost always works. See, I just latch onto him and refuse to get off until he spills the beans. Motherfuckers so massive I think he just forgets I’m there sometimes (😅) but eventually he always gives in. But not today. He’s just been loafing around, not saying much, watching TV – which is really weird for him. I tried contacting his girlfriend, but she won’t answer my messages. Something’s going on…
· My ovaries hurt. 😳 Well, metaphorically. I don’t know why, but everything has been making me think of babies lately. Like, not just babies, but having a baby. I would be the world’s worst mother though as emotional and mentally unstable as I am. Which, strangely enough, kind of segways into…


Da Kinky News
· Yeah, so I posted some pictures last night that maybe I shouldn’t have on Twitter and other social media accounts. And to be honest, I’m not sorry. Don’t be shocked. You knew who I was when you met me. 😅
· So did Rebecca (the girlfriend unit). I woke up this morning to a message from her asking if I had fun last night. See, I’m a girl, so (spoiler alert) I know this is a trick question – there is no real right answer to it. So, I did what anyone in my situation probably would have done: I lied like a rug. I told her that (taking a deep breath) I was just drinking because I had so much on my mind this past week, and how I missed her so much because she’s been working so many hours leaving me with no one to really talk to and open up with and that instead of going out and trying to have fun I stayed in with Anne and drank instead because I didn’t want to do anything foolish.
· I could practically hear the pussy points* racking up as the conversation went on.
· She bought it (and no, she doesn’t read my diary, so I’m not self-snitching), and even felt sorry for me.
· This is how you talk your way out of the doghouse, motherfuckers. Go buy one of my books as thanks. 😅 http://alexanichols.com/books/.

Oh, and just so you know, I posted an interesting article on Patreon today: “My first job, and how it made me the author I am today…”. You can read it here: https://buff.ly/2Jty8Ab. Go give it a look.

And.

I am so excited.

Tomorrow is the big day.

Why is it a big day, and what’s going to happen?

Tune in tomorrow to find out…

😉

* Pussy Points: An intangible medium of exchange frequently traded for various acts of sexual congress.

I went to bed last night and was so restless that I probably resembled a fidget spinner as I twirled around on my bed, flipping through position after position trying to get comfortable. I was all over that motherfucker. Luckily, I was in bed alone. Otherwise, someone would have ended up on the floor. 😅 It was obvious to me after an hour that I wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep, so I decided to be productive and use my insomnia to my advantage.

So, I slithered my naked ass (naked comment inserted exclusively for Selina 😏) over to the computer, briefly browsed through my task list for the day, and then proceeded to merc the shit out of everything on it. Long story short? By 6AM, everything I had planned to do throughout the day was complete.

Highlights: I finished flushing out my account on LibraryThing, completed the rough draft of Voyeur: Season 1 Episode 5 (Though honestly, I’m not happy with it yet. But then, it is a rough draft.), finally triumphed over Amazon in the battle over the paperback cover of When Daddy Was Away, and completely finished and compiled Interview With A Werewolf, which will be released September 1st (Unless you happen to be Ronnie, the VIP Patreon who requested the story. He has it in his hands now. 😜)

And then fielded an interesting question that gave me a bit of a pause on Facebook. A reader messaged me telling me she was a fan of mine (I really hate that word) and was shocked when I responded and even talked to her for a bit. She said she had written to other celebrities in the past (I quickly corrected her. I am not a celebrity! 😅) and never received a response from any of them.

The question she asked me was why I was so receptive and responsive to people.

My knee-jerk answer was something akin to “Why wouldn’t I be?” but I stopped and decided to think a bit deeper before I responded. After contemplating for a bit, I replied:

“Because we have a society built on idolization, and it shouldn’t be. We’re all humans. Celebrity is a man-made concept, and as such has little intrinsic value. Basically, I’m approachable because I truly believe that I’m no one special – I’m just someone who loves to write. Period. The last thing I want is someone looking up to me or turning me into some sort of metahuman. Be your own role-model. If I’m not part of the solution, I’m indubitably part of the problem, ya know? 😊”

She apparently liked my answer. I’m glad. It was the truth.

Anyway, I’m going to bed early, loves.

I’ll see all of you in the morning.

Thank you for reading. 💖

My bladder hates me. For some reason, it decided to wake me up last night every couple of hours, right as I was hitting REM. Which is a real problem, because my creativity, enthusiasm and overall quirkiness are all intrinsically tied to the amount of sleep I get.

So, you can guess how I’m feeling today. Tired. Unfocused. Hostile. Oh, and my periods early. So basically, fuck life. 😅

If you know me at all, you know that I’m exaggerating my attitude. One day of jagged sleep isn’t going to derail the AlexaTrain, believe me. Two won’t either. Three? I’m stabbing a motherfucker in the forehead. Drastic jump, I know, but this Diary is all about full disclosure, so whatever. 🔪

Despite my slightly fuzzy outlook, I managed to get a slew of author tasks knocked out, including adding more anime chicks to my website, finishing the yellow revision of Voyeur: Season 1, Episode 5 (the season finale), getting halfway into the yellow revision of my upcoming Disney (🐭) exclusive Knocking Up The MILF, and completely finishing the rough draft of a story I’ve been keeping from everyone, The Siren’s Song. It’s fucking hot. Short, but hot. Like me! 🙌

I also posted something on my Patreon, titled My Daily Schedule, and you can check it out here as soon as you’re done reading this entry: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18282669.

Ugh. Just typing all that out makes me exhausted. I did a lot more today than I thought! 😅

Which is why I’m about to hit the shower and go to bed. I need to sleep. Badly. I don’t want to have a second day of sleeplessness, and no one wants me getting to day three. 🔪🗡🍴

Thank you for reading, loves. ❤

“OK, these pants have to come off because they’re slaying my vagina.”

It was that comment that almost ended my life today. 😅

It was just the way Anne said it; you had to have been there. Maybe I should explain just a bit. See, Anne has this habit of running around naked when its just us girls, but I had some business paperwork to sign so I had it delivered to my place. Which meant she had to get dressed.

And she was not happy about it.

And apparently, her pants were slaying her vagina the entire time.

It only took a few minutes, but the second he left she plopped down on the bed and started wiggling out of her pants like they were full of ants. After about three seconds she glared at me and went “OK, these pants have to come off because they’re slaying my vagina. Can you please help me get these off?!” like it was the most severe, crucial thing ever.

I almost died right there. It was beautiful.

Little things like that just make my day.

Writing-wise, I killed it, completely finishing and compiling Voyeur: Season 1, Episode 5 (it’s scheduled to be released August 1st unless you’re a member of my Patreon, in which case you’ll be getting it free next month), getting about halfway through Knocking Up The MILF’s yellow revision, and laying the groundwork for some top-secret author stuff I’ll be announcing soon.

I’ll just say this for now: your girl is branching out!

My personal life, however, was nowhere near as impressive. I made plans to hang with the bestie Sunday, but other than that…boring. Well, with the small exception of Anne’s pants slaying her vagina. I’m not really complaining though. Dull days are nice sometimes. Especially for me, considering how crazy my life usually is.

I’m thinking about getting drunk tonight, I dunno. Drunk Skyrim sounds really appealing. And reading.

Until tomorrow, lov—



Liver: Wait a minute, wench. You promised no more drinking for the rest of the month.

Me: Prove it, motherfucker.

Liver: Fine. Let me check my texts… aaannnddd all my texts from you are gone.

[smiling smugly]

Liver: You deleted them when I was sleeping, didn’t you? Because you knew you were getting plastered tonight.

[smiling smugly]

Liver: I know you did. That’s fucked up. Does honesty mean nothing to you?

[smiling smugly]



Sucka.



Enjoy your weekend, loves.

I know I will.

I have this story I’ve been working on secretly for a while now that some of you may remember me talking about recently; what you may not know is that it’s my first ever attempt at a pure fantasy yarn with hardcore sexual elements. Not to mention a hot male/male/female (or MMM – male/male/mermaid?) relationship, something I’ve never written about. It’s hot, and my graphics team just finished the cover. The end result is this:



It’s actually finished, but I’m going to run it through my patented triple revision process just to make sure it’s exactly the way I want it. You guys know how neurotic I can be. 😅 After that? I’m giving it away to my Patreon subscribers, regardless of tier level, as a gift. It will be for sale on Amazon later next year, but they deserve things like this from time to time. 😊

Aside from the severe Tomb Raider/Skyrim-athon Anne and I subjected ourselves to today, there’s really not much to report.

Until tomorrow (bestie day!) …

It felt absolutely wondrous to jump back into the daily routine of writing. And I finished a lot of it, knocking out the yellow revision of Knocking Up The MILF, working on The Siren’s Song for a bit, and – finally – dived headfirst into Nephilim: Prisoner, the sequel to Nephilim: Daybreak. It felt so good to start it. Tomorrow cannot come quick enough so I can continue.

I also received some fantastic news from the narrator I hired to do the audiobook version of The Qedesha’s Handmaiden. She just uploaded chapters 6,7, and 8, and is currently working on 9,10, and the epilogue now. Which means in the next day or two, she’ll be completely finished. 🙌

I can’t wait!

Also, if you’re a member of my Patreon and want to check out the rough draft of Voyeur Season 1, Episode 5, you can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18358393. While you’re there, you can also check out my recent post, “Why I don’t use publishing houses,” found here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18359553.

Yes, I hit the ground running today!

Now if I can just quit sneezing uncontrollably, my day would be phenomenal! 😅

Until tomorrow, my loves…