Samantha Beardon's Blog, page 110
January 16, 2016
Coup de Foudre.
The coup de foudre, when it comes
Often has a roll of drums
What sparks the action, who can tell
Lust and hormones, could cause hell
The gentle meeting of two minds
Interests that mean, you are two of a kind
But will it last and stay the course
Or will love die and cause divorce.
January 15, 2016
3 F-words for you
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.”
– Henry Thoreau
I often recall the moment of my life when I thought of living my life on my terms. I was not more than 13. Travelling and living, enjoying MY life
(In India, a 13 is consider as a kid).
But my parent let me live mine.
Of course it’s obvious that such a decision isn’t right for everyone nor possible.
BUT . . . . . you’re feeling unsettled and a bit blah about your life. Right?
You don’t want to make a huge change as I did, but you long for a life that is more fulfilling and rewarding. Is that right too?
Well, then, I have 3 F-words that just might be what you’re looking for.
So without any wait here are they
FIND out what you really want in life.
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Dealing with our limiting behaviours.
Limiting beliefs and behaviour are present when we exhibit anxiety, anger, frustration, jealousy. These emotions prevent us from connecting with people in fact they cause a rift, a chasm between ourselves and others. Our reactions to events are learned and deeply ingrained and often make our lives more miserable and unpleasant than they need to be.
Recognising limiting behaviour is a starting point to make changes to thoughts and behaviour that are often futile and cause us pain and misery.
Angry in that traffic jam, annoyed when your plans crumble, jealous when your partner gives attention to somebody else. Worry about your appearance, or losing face. Feeling ignored or slighted, angry because something you suggested is ignored.
Often the real source of your upset/irritation is your idea that something should be different from the way it is and this causes stress, anxiety or anger inside you thus your body reacts in certain ways. If you could reprogramme your reaction, whilst the situation would be the same, your thoughts and reactions would be different.
Taking a moment to reflect on your reaction and what triggered it, may give you a chance to modify your behaviour or your thoughts.
Recently I came off a cruise ship in Southampton,the ship had been forced to dock earlier than planned at a different berth than expected, because of an impending storm. This meant that the cars for all the passengers were in the wrong car park and we had to be taken by bus with our luggage to our cars. Thus causing some delay in leaving the ship to go home.
The gentleman in front of me in the queue was incandescent with rage. As we neared the bus a lady from the car parking Company was giving directions. The man stood inches in front of her and was very aggressive saying. “This is not bloody good enough the cars should have been moved, I paid to have my car at the ship when I docked!” The lady said “I am sorry sir, we didn’t know the ship was berthing here until 4am, this was a situation outside our control we didn’t have time to move the cars.”
The man then said. ” It’s total inefficiency, the cars should have been moved, I think you are totally bloody useless …..”.and lots more as well.
He was red in the face and pop eyed. True his car was not where he expected it, true it meant getting the car was delayed slightly, true he had to queue and get on a bus.
That was a given and yes an annoyance, but instead of looking at the negatives he could have turned the thought on its head and looked at the good job that was done in the circumstances.
1000 cars were impractical to move but the company had laid on buses and people to advise and direct. Then maybe whilst not happy about the situation he might have had a less extreme reaction and felt happier, not angry, and with less stress hormones filling his body. He might have also mentally been in a better to place to get in a car on a wet windy day to drive home.
When limiting behaviours are triggered in your life you need to try to work out the underlying belief that has triggered that reaction. I am too important to be kept waiting, I am being insulted, this is causing me to lose face, etc etc.
What do you think was the underlying belief that triggered the cruise passengers behaviour?
How often is your limiting behaviour triggered and what are the thoughts (maybe unconscious thoughts), that trigger those behaviours in you?
When you assess the impact this belief has had on your life, you might realize that you’ve been sabotaging your ability to enjoy the present moment. Rather life is a red haze, or misery or anxiety that could be modified.
Reducing limiting behaviours is not easy but being aware of your reactions to situations is a great starting place.
Thinking about beliefs
I discovered a secret so true today
It made be stop and rethink my philosophy
We all need affection, a connection
To be appreciated and to stop misdirection
Misdirection that maybe stunts our growth
That we use in our world, to hold back our feelings
Or maybe to stop the status quo, from unreeling
Our beliefs we can change, with a fight and struggle
If we recognise they are outmoded they are causing us trouble
We make excuses for not taking action
Because maybe morally it causes dissention
We need to love ourselves did I mention
Cyber Wild Ride. (Adult content)
You are taking me on a wild ride
Anticipating you growing inside
Reaching out, positioned and kneeling
My anticipation hits the ceiling
Parted and melting my juices flow
Tho I know there is a way to go
I am tantilised by words and pictures
With each one, my sex twitches
Its cyber sex that we manage to share
An interesting way to have an affair
January 14, 2016
Female insecurity
You have got a beautiful personality
An exceptional sense of style and grace
That is rivalled only by your beautiful Sense of humour
Being blessed must be your nationality
But insecurity has plagued you
And played on yourself esteem
However with some selfishness and selflessness
And with love from within this can be redeemed
Being a woman shouldn’t make you vulnerable
Being a woman should make you honourable
Relaxation
The reports are tedious
My brain, needs to forego craziness
The wine to savour
Relaxing, doing me a favour
Distraction on my tongue
Playing scrabble to change my thinking
Distraction on my mind in a blinking
Duality reigns
Helps keep me sane
Text excerpt from a Word Crozzle conversation.
Jane. I have been indulging in cyberspace with a young man.
Rick.Naugnty Mary Jane. Hahahahaha. I think Mary Jane will be be my name for you when you are being naughty angel!
Jane. Yes started late with sex enjoyment so. Having my young time now….
Oh since when has it been naughty Rick Anson?
Rick.Yes indeed. No its all good. Teasing baby.
Jane. Also really late discovering the joy of sex! And my full sexuality so got lots to recoop am in arrears!
Rick. I applaud that. Because most women would just settle and be miserable.
Jane. But actually the more I hear women in their fifties they are either very sexual or disinterested in sex.
Rick. Yeah either extreme
Jane. 1 know of several women in their fifties doing stranger sex and lots who feel they have done their ‘duty’ and dont want sex anymore.
Rick. Like totally want it. Any time anywhere or hate the idea and thought of it.
Jane. Yes.
Rick. I’m sure that is the case.
Jane. And maybe I am somewhere in the middle ,because l havent made that mental leap to stranger sex…but adore good sex!
Rick. I’m sure going through the menopause must have its draw backs, but for some it might also be a new lease of life sexually.
Jane. Yes….but I think the women who go off sex….may have had mediocre sex…..maybe with a man who was more interested in getting his end away than pleasuring them…or its boring same same sex.
Rick.I concur with that.
Jane. I think lots of women never have an earth shattering orgasam in their lives and never self explore so they never experience the total joy and therefore it becomes less important. And when the lust wears off…one has to work to keep sex exciting…and people dont bother.
Rick. All they need is a younger model for a few nights. And usual services will resume.
Jane. Only if the younger model is good….and thats not a given.
Rick. But good old monogamy prevents such sacrilegious sentiments. Lol.
Rick. I know. I’m good. Can’t speak for everyone. Hahahaha.
Jane.1 think monogomy is less an issue….than other things…
Jane. There is still a big difference in attitudes to men having lots of sexual partners…..and women….hes just getting his end away…shes often seen as a slut. Its very complex.
Jane. Glad you are good…..do you have a set of commendations?
Jane. It took me a long time to find somebody who was good…lol.
Rick.Yeah definitely.
Commendations? Hah! Try me baby!
Jane. Ha ha. Well only got your word.
Rick.But we are still living in a man’s world.Whether we like it or not in relation to perception of sexual roles and activity. That’s generally still the case unfortunately
Jane. Yes we are … Sexually I now feel comfortable asking for what I want.
Rick. Which I think every woman should do
Jane.Yes but you have to know….and if you havent done self exploration or had a skilled lover ..you dont know….and how can you expect a man to find your buttons if you dont know exactly where they are. He will have a general idea…but each of us has slightly different buttons.
Jane. And you have to have the confidence …I didnt when I was younger.
