Jen Lancaster's Blog, page 8

One Down, One and a Half to Go

Greetings from the brief respite between tour cities! I'm home just long enough to do some laundry, reset the TiVo, and inspect Fletch for all his digits. He's not yet lost a finger to his wonky power saw, but I still have half the tour left, so... let's just hope if when it happens, it won't be his middle finger because then he wouldn't be able to properly express himself while driving. (And yes, he says he missed me. Although he also learned to hang drywall while I was gone. Again, I don't imagine this will end well.) I'm off to the west coast leg of my tour today, but before I remind you of tour cities, I have to say a big thanks to St. Louis, Atlanta, Philadelphia, and New York! You guys absolutely represented and it means the world to me to actually meet those responsible for my career. Thank you! (And Ilene S. - the Empire Cakes homemade chocolate covered Twinkie? TRANSCENDENT. Also transcendent? The excellent wine and the slutty brownies and the fine, fine company with my ATL tailgaters!) In other old business: - The bookplates are on their way for those of you who preordered. - NAL is working to upload an new version of Jen X with the footnotes embedded so you don't have to click around. (My publisher and editor were really apologetic when they heard this happened as they'd both worked hard to make sure the fix was in place from the...

Today's Moment of Shame

(I put this on my Facebook fan page yesterday, but since I don't know the overlap between here and there, I'm erring on the side of caution and cross-posting, largely because this still makes me giggle twenty-four hours later.) Setting – Pick up counter at coffee shop Barista: Here’s your wet cappuccino. (hands cup to me) How does it feel? Is it wet enough? Me: (bursting into inappropriate laughter because I am emotionally stunted, despite my best efforts) Barista: I’m sorry, is that not wet enough for you? Me: (dying, sputtering, choking) Barista: Is everything okay? Me: (composing myself) Yes, but… did that not sound super dirty to you? Barista: I’m sorry? Me: That just sounded super dirty. What you said was- Fletch: Stop talking. Barista: I don’t get it. Me: You said- Fletch: Stop. No. Please. Stop talking, I beg of you. Me: But she said- Fletch: You. Out the door. Take your cappuccino and go. Don’t try to explain, you’re only making it worse. There is no recovering from this. Go. Run. Now. Today’s moment of shame is brought to you by Starbucks. Unlike Facebook, you guys here get the bonus shot of Maisy holding a cup. You're welcome!

Yes, The Hair Is Intentional

I am so, so excited to finally post the book trailer for Jeneration X! The Campaign Video When I asked the stylist to give me "Sarah Palin hair - only, you know, more bat-shit-crazy" that day, I never expected to dig the 'do so much. I spent the rest of the afternoon ogling myself, which proved difficult to do over the sound of Fletch's audibly rolling eyes. (It's probably good that I can't achieve this look myself.) The Fletch Did you notice who the hipster was? Special Agent Fletcher is a master of disguise! Also, he wants to go on record that he knows how a suit's supposed to fit. But he lost twenty five pounds and didn't realize it until dressed at the filming. Oh, hey! Listen to that! It's the sound of MY eyes rolling! As someone who weighs herself before and after peeing to see if it makes a difference, I don't understand how guys can not realize they've lost twenty five pounds. The Tour As a quick reminder, I start touring for Jeneration X next Tuesday with "campaign stops" in St. Louis, Atlanta, Philly, New York, Seattle, Portland, San Diego, Dallas, Naperville, Washington DC, the Gaithersburg Book Festival, and then back to New York for an event with Jennifer Weiner! Whens and wheres and whats of each event are posted in the Appearances section. The Book Plates For those of you who can't attend a live event, we still have a few bookplates left! If you'd...

You're Going To Want To Win This, Seriously - WINNERS ANNOUNCED!

Thanks to all of you for participating! The big winner is... Krista, who digs mocking her neighbor while he cuts his huge lawn with a weed wacker! (Krista, I like your style!) Also, I have your email address, so I've already sent you details on how to claim your prize. For everyone else, I'm so sorry the comments got screwy (and pleased at Typepad's quick fix!) As a thanks for your patience, I'm also awarding five second prizes and they go to... Marissa, who's into all the flowers, especially the flowering trees McKenzie, who loves the sun and thus, could never marry a Cullen (why do you hate sparkling vampires, McKenzie?) CJ, who, among other things, enjoys playing with her pups along the Gulf coast, and less so enjoys having to take Allegra Christine, with her white pants and orange tops (FYI, I've come around on orange, particularly for accessories) And Shawn, who is secure enough in his manhood to know a good read when he sees one I've also already emailed you guys. Again, thanks for playing and I'll do this again when I receive more copies of Jeneration X! * * * It's that time of year again - the snow is gone (at least it better be, unless Mother Nature's angling for a punch in the neck), the birds are chirping, and the verdant land is pumping out so much pollen that it's practically impossible to step outdoors without an asthma inhaler. Ah, spring! With perpetually runny...

You're Going To Want To Win This, Seriously

It's that time of year again - the snow is gone (at least it better be, unless Mother Nature's angling for a punch in the neck), the birds are chirping, and the verdant land is pumping out so much pollen that it's practically impossible to step outdoors without an asthma inhaler. Ah, spring! With perpetually runny noses and stoner-grade red eyes, spring brings something else awesome... the first blush of the best summer beach reads. Inevitably, this is when all of my favorite books of the year are published. To celebrate the annual storing of the snow shovel, I'm giving away a stack of excellent summer reads! The lucky winner of this giveaway will receive: Sarah Pekkanen's These Girls From the publisher's description: Cate, Renee, and Abby have come to New York for very different reasons, and in a bustling city of millions, they are linked together through circumstance and chance. Cate has just been named the features editor of Gloss, a high-end lifestyle magazine. It's a professional coup, but her new job comes with more complications than Cate ever anticipated. Her roommate Renee will do anything to nab the plum job of beauty editor at Gloss. But snide comments about Renee's weight send her into an emotional tailspin. Soon she is taking black market diet pills—despite the racing heartbeat and trembling hands that signal she's heading for real danger. Then there's Abby, whom they take in as a third roommate. Once a joyful graduate student working as a nanny...

This Is Why We Don't Have A Reality Show

Experts who claim the key ingredient to a healthy marriage is "mutual respect" or "open communication" or "meeting one another's emotional needs" are all wrong. I mean, sure, those ingredients are important, but no more so than a mutually agreed-upon toilet seat status. In our house, the lid stays closed. Period. This arrangement is largely because a closed lid keeps the dogs from helping themselves to a drink. Of course, Maisy has figured out a work-around, but that's not the point. The point is that I'm all for Fletch sharing his feeeeelings, but the minute I take an unintended late night swim, his ability to express himself will be neatly eclipsed by his ability to quickly run away from me. (Actually, having separate bathrooms will exponentially increase your odds of making it as a couple.) (Move if you must.) (You'll thank me on your Golden Anniversary.) Regardless, if I had to highlight one factor that keeps us together, it would be Google. For example, last week we were in the car on the way to the city and we started to squabble over whether or not "ear cancer" was a real malady. But instead of arguing about whether or not it could exist for the next hour while we navigated rush hour traffic, I looked it up, found the answer, and we quickly moved on conversationally… largely because I was right. Ear cancer is TOTALLY a real thing. Which brings us to last night. Earlier in the day, Fletch scanned...

Yet Again, Age Trumps Youth

A graphic representation of exactly what the FREE signed bookplate looks like for everyone who preorders Jeneration X in the next few weeks. Not pictured: the nine thousand blurry photos I tried to take of Libby posing with the bookplate first. Loki came in the room, nailed ten shots in a row, and then was all, "THAT'S how you do it, kid," before sauntering off to his limousine full of bitches. Libby was duly chastened. Anyway, if you'd like one of these limited edition hand-signed bookplates (dog fur optional) then simply preorder Jeneration X from your favorite retailer (e.g. Amazon, B&N, Books-A-Million,IndieBound) and fill out this form. I guarantee receiving your bookplate will be easier than making a sticky-paper-covered pit bull sit still. (Then again, so are quadratic equations.)

Everyone's A Critic, Especially Me

Today's one of those rare times I wished I worked in an office, primarily because of the water cooler chatter. I imagine this morning's been nothing but recaps of the Hunger Games and last night's episode of Mad Men and I'd desperately like to contribute to both these conversations, largely to voice my displeasure. As for Hunger Games? I saw the first show on Friday morning at 10:15 AM. Aside from Fletch and me, there were sixteen other people in the theater. (Clearly this was an instance where I was glad to not have a pesky day job.) Every single thing about the film was spot on - impeccably casted and acted, beautifully scored, cinematically striking, etc. I particularly liked the shaky camera shots and thought they added tension in a clever way. Plus, there wasn't a single wasted moment - every word, every glance, every shot added meaning. I also appreciated how producers softened the violence for a PG-13 rating. And, as an added bonus, not one second of the actual Games had been ruined in a trailer since the producers never released that footage prior to opening day. Beat for beat, the film mirrored the book. (If it hadn't, I'd have been registering my complaints on Twitter immediately, naturally.) Everything about the movie was perfection. This is how you're supposed to make movies based on novels. And yet... I left the theater thinking, "Well, that was entertaining," instead of raving about how my socks had been knocked clean...

All of the Things (for Jeneration X) (Like Free Book Plates) (And Tour Cities) (And an Excerpt)

Who's ready for Jeneration X? Or, rather, who's ready for the Jeneration X tour, coming soon to a city near you? Drum roll, please... TUESDAY, MAY 1 SAINT LOUIS, MO Mad Art Gallery 2727 S. 12th St. St. Louis, MO 63118 *books sold by Left Bank Books 7 PM WEDNESDAY, MAY 2 ATLANTA, GA BARNES & NOBLE 2900 Peachtree Road NE 7 PM THURSDAY, MAY 3 PHILADELPHIA, PA CHESTER COUNTY BOOK & MUSIC CO. 975 Paoli Pike West Goshen Center West Chester, PA 19380 6:30 PM FRIDAY, MAY 4 NEW YORK, NY BARNES & NOBLE 33 East 17th Street 7 PM TUESDAY, MAY 8 SEATTLE, WA THIRD PLACE BOOKS 17171 Bothell Way NE Lake Forest Park, WA 98155 7 PM WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 PORTLAND, OR BARNES & NOBLE 12000 SE 82nd Ave. 7 PM THURSDAY, MAY 10 SAN DIEGO, CA BARNES & NOBLE 10775 Westview Parkway 7 PM FRIDAY, MAY 11 DALLAS, TX BARNES & NOBLE 7700 West Northwest Highway 7 PM MONDAY, MAY 14 CHICAGO, IL ANDERSON'S BOOKSHOP 123 W Jefferson Ave Naperville, IL 50540 7 PM FRIDAY, MAY 18 WASHINGTON, DC BARNES & NOBLE 555 12th St. NW 7 PM SATURDAY, MAY 19 GAITHERSBURG, MD GAITHERSBURG BOOK FESTIVAL Time and details TBA Plus, I was just confirmed to do a very cool event with Jennifer Weiner in Bryant Park in NY on June 6th!! So excited!! I'll provide more details as I get them. I'm also doing some library visits over the summer in the Chicago area, so...

Vain Like a Fox

Having just finished work on a new book, I'm kind of a mess. (Not emotionally, mind you. I'm aces there and delighted with the finished product.) When I'm on deadline, nothing matters except for writing. My deadline was particularly tight on the book I finished on Monday so if it didn't result in words on a page, it was not addressed. The house is a special kind of dirty right now. Like, I don't even want to tell you how bad, particularly when both our vacuums went belly up the same day last week. The Miele malfunction was a fluke and a warranty issue, so we had a shiny new one in the course of an afternoon. Regardless, the house exploded in the afternoon in which we were vacuum free, to the point I suggested we'd be better off with some variety of household shovel. Related note: Libby understands how to open the cabinet and retrieve full kitchen garbage bags now. Another related note: If your pit bull chews up a pen while clamping it between her front paws, she will then leave inky footprints on beige carpets in three rooms while you chase her to grab the masticated writing utensil. A third related note: When we did get the vacuum back, I addressed the floors with such vigor I thought I broke my toe. (Dr. Fletcher said I'd be fine in a few days and I'm stewing a bit to find out he was actually right.) Appearance also falls...