Michael Batchelor's Blog, page 8

Walking Billboards

There’s a boardroom meeting
At the headquarters
Of a big clothing manufacturer
It’s 9 am sharp
And a group of
Suited men
With $200 haircuts
And $10,000 watches
Walk in
Sit down
And discuss
Their next marketing strategy
One person offers an idea
But nobody likes it
Another person offers an idea
But nobody likes it
Then one person
Offers an idea
And everybody likes it
The idea is to
Put the company’s logo
On a T-shirt
So that the consumer
Not only pays for the T-shirt
But walks around with it on
Promoting the company
And so everyone gets to their feet
And starts cheering and clapping
Because they know
They’ve just turned their consumers
Into walking billboards

Nice Guys

If nice guys come last
Then I’m proud
To place 8th
Because coming first
Without being nice
Means you cheated
In the race

Showing My Age

My friends and I
Used to climb trees
Drink booze in the park
Ding dong dash
Throw sticks at each other
Drive around aimlessly
Go to parties
Fools having fun

And now
Just 10 or so
Years later
I see kids
Living in a digital world
And it makes me sad
To see them
Choose simulations of life
Rather than
The real thing

I guess
Had I been born later
I’d be no different

Magpie

We were driving along the highway
And up ahead
Was a magpie on the road
Hit
But still alive
And as we passed it
We heard it squawk in pain
In fear
Asking for help
And of course
We didn't help him
We drove past
Just like every other car
And it was just another
Sad, sad reminder
That life can be so
Needlessly cruel

The Introvert

When I go out
To social gatherings
Often I feel like an outsider
And I struggle to fit in
And when I leave
Often much earlier than
Everyone else
I feel lonelier
Then before I went
But it’s okay
Because when I get home
I’m with myself
My old friend
And we get along well
Whereas there’s the people
Who love the parties
And they laugh the loudest
And seem the happiest
But when they get home
Later than everyone else
That’s when they’re lonely
Because they’re stuck with themself
And they’re only acquainted
Because they were too busy
Ignoring themself
At all the parties

So I’m glad
That I made friends
With myself

High School Reunion

My best friend
From high school
Comes back to his hometown
From time to time
I’ve never left
And when we catch up
The conversation
Is forced
And polite
And I realise that
I’m sitting with a stranger
And when I try to reminisce
About our school days
He feigns enthusiasm
And the laughs are hollow
And it makes me sad
Because I’m trying to
Defibrillate our friendship
But sometimes
I guess
It’s best to
Let the past
Die

A Sucker

I never call in sick
I get paid a salary
I drive in the slow lane
I pay all my taxes
I pay my bills on time
I work hard, not smart
I worry about nutrition
I think about the future
I watch the news
I pay my tram fare
I don’t jaywalk

The Michael Show

I go to bed early
I wake up to an alarm
I cook a sensible breakfast
I leave early for work
I sit in traffic
I drive in the slow lane
I open the door for others
I do my job properly
I get paid a salary
I take a short lunch break
I finish on time
I open the door for others
I sit in traffic
I drive in the slow lane
I exercise for 30 minutes
I cook a sensible dinner
I go to bed early
I wake up to an alarm
I …

Ah

When you realise
That you only know
A little bit about
Yourself
And that most of you
The dark parts
In particular
Hide deep away
Then
You can start to
Figure out
Who you really
Are

Parasite

I’m biting my company’s arse
Sucking out too much money
Apparently
And so they’ve tried to kill me
Over the years
With outsourcing
And AI
Yet despite that
This parasite
Just keeps on
Sucking