Michael Batchelor's Blog, page 5

The Perfect Poem

Here I am
Trying to write the
Perfect poem
Trying to force it out like
A constipated shit
But it doesn’t happen
When you try
It happens when
You’re not thinking about it
When you’re distracting yourself
With other things
And then
Finally
In that sweet moment
It hits you
Like diarrhoea
An unstoppable force
That must come out
On the paper
And you don’t stop
Until it’s done
And once it’s done
You’re left feeling
Lighter
Happier
And glad
It’s out of you

How To Write An Avant-Garde Poem

write in lowercase
about something obscure
like a flat-footed comet
dancing on an hourglass
then throw in a stray comma ,
or one close by,
before splitting the next line
with a big gap
or put the important word (in parenthesis)
or SwiTCh between loWERcAse
ANd cApiTAls
with no discernible pattern
then
once the reader
is thoroughly confused
write it
out as
if the poem
is ping-ponging
down a
chimney towards
an overdue
and
pretentious
death

The VIPs

The politicians
The celebrities
The executives
The influencers
The VIPs
Getting the backstage pass
Through life
The private jets
The limos
The secret passageways
All to avoid
The unimportant people
Who wait in queues
Park 20 minutes away
Moving one space at a time
On a board
That the VIPs
Own

A Funny Story

My father used to
Get his sandwiches stolen
At lunchtime
By some of the
Aboriginal students
Probably because of
Historical grievances
Or they just saw
An easy target
Either way
One day he was at lunch
Minding his own business
When one of the Aboriginal boys
A mountain of a boy
Snatched the brown paper bag
From my father
Pulled out the sandwich
And took a big bite
Before spitting it
Onto the ground
‘Yuck!’ the boy said
‘What the fuck is this?’
‘Saltanas and honey,’ my father said

That was the last time
The Aboriginal boys
Stole my father’s lunch
I guess he had his mother
To thank
For making a sandwich so bad
Even a bully
Wouldn’t touch it

The News

I’m sitting by the open window
Watching the news
And they’re reporting
stories of fear
And hate
As usual
But then I hear
A young girl
A few doors down
Call out:
‘I love you’
To her father
As she’s leaving
And a moment later
He shouts it back:
‘I love you’
And a smile
Comes across my face
Because that’s the news
I’ve been waiting to hear
All along

The Father Switch

They told me
I’d feel like a father
Once my boy came out
Like the flick of a switch
And yet
When the doctor
Handed him to me
I didn’t feel like a father
I felt like I was holding
Someone else’s baby
And the doctor
Had made a mistake
But of course
He didn’t make a mistake
And we took our son home
And for the last month
I’ve been trying to flick
The switch
And sometimes
When my son
Grabs my thumb
With his little hand
Or sleeps peacefully
In his bed
I see sparks
But for now
The father switch
Remains stuck

I'm

I’m tall
I’m hairy
I’m sweaty
I’m bald
I’m angry
I’m sad
I’m happy
I’m rarely content
I’m a writer
I’m a father
I’m a husband
I’m a worker
I’m a dreamer
I’m a mess
I’m a cleaner
I’m all over the place
I’m put together
I’m nothing
I’m something
I’m an agnostic
I’m an atheist
I’m a meat-eater
I’m an animal lover
I’m a taxpayer
I’m a sucker
I’m a lover
I’m over it
I’m okay with it
I’m lost
I’m found
I’m optimistic
I’m cynical
I’m droning on

I’m …
Me

New Book Announcement

Hi everyone! I'm absolutely thrilled to announce the release of my latest book, Paper Plane over the Sea.

Here's the synopsis:

Harry and Ben have just graduated high school. To celebrate, they embark on a road trip to Skinner’s Head, a small, idyllic seaside town. But as day turns to night, Harry discovers something about Ben that will turn the road trip from an adventure to a race against the clock.

Interested? Check it out here: https://shorturl.at/55t2U

The Dream

Sometimes
Because I’m a hopeless hippy
I lay in bed at night
And fantasise
About erasing all the bad things
From this world
First I’ll picture the
Great Pacific garbage patch
And then with a blink
Poof!
The pile’s gone forever
Then I’ll picture
All the nuclear bombs
In the ground
And the nuclear submarines
In the sea
And then with a blink
Poof!
They’re gone forever
And then
Because it’s no trouble at all
I’ll blink away all the diseases
And the natural disasters
And the wars
And all the other
Big and small
Tragedies of the world
Until there’s nothing left
To blink away
And I can close my eyes
And sleep happy

The Movie

I’m a DVD
That’s been shoved
Into a player
And the movie
Is stuck on fast-forward
Hurtling
Towards the credits
And the remote
Is out of reach