Annette Mori's Blog, page 18
August 27, 2021
Cyberbullying
Warning: Not much humor is in this blog, because Aggravated Annette decided to come out to play today. The other day, I came across a post that is unfortunately all too common these days. It goes something like this: A picture is posted of a man or woman (but usually it’s a woman) and people are invited to comment with one, two, three or four words. The picture has an obvious point of interest that is meant to generate negative words. Now, the ones I don’t mind are the pictures that are posted during Halloween time with a scary person carrying an ax, or something else that triggers our fear. However, the posts that absolutely torque me off, are the pictures intended to make fun of someone’s physical appearance. These types of posts get all kinds of likes and generate some really cut to the bone, mean comments. Why?
I wonder why we feel the need to make fun of someone else’s appearance. The most recent picture had a woman who probably had a Botox treatment to her lips. You should have seen the comments. Only one other person called people out the cyber bullying. Now, I would be happy to enter into an intelligent conversation about plastic surgery, or even differences in what is deemed attractive between different cultures, but to say things like: disgusting, just ew, ridiculous, hard no, etc, upsets me. That woman in the picture that everyone seems to believe is okay to make fun of is someone’s girlfriend/wife, daughter, mother, sister, aunt, etc. But most of all they are a person just like you or me with feelings.
I’m not perfect and once I posted something about one of the new characters on the revised L-Word who sported underarm hair. The post was intended to generate a discussion about women and body hair preferences. Unfortunately it devolved and went down the bad road. I am thankful for the gentle reminder from another Facebook friend who abhors body and face shaming as much as me.
I often write about characters who generate those same mean comments from others in a hope that this will give pause to those who feel compelled to add their unkind words. I hope this blog also serves as an avenue to encourage others to think twice about adding to the mean-spirited posts intended to make fun of someone else. Always remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just like with books, what I’m drawn to, another person might not be, but that does not make the person ugly or the book a waste of time. Perhaps some of you will take a chance on my books and find something worthwhile in them…you know the drill, just click on one of the links below. And don’t forget about the great books on sale in My Lesfic from two awesome Affinity authors, Ali Spooner and Alane Hotchkin: The Devil’s Tree and Fortunes.
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August 20, 2021
Let’s Talk Private Parts
I know…I just can’t help myself. Whenever I come across something interesting related to my vagina, clitoris and other private parts, I have to share it with y’all. I don’t know if it was vagina week or what, but there were three interesting things that caught my ear or eye this past week. I know y’all are dying to hear about them, so without further ado…here they are…
I was watching CNN, like I normally do, and this adorable OB/GYN physician came on and started talking about deodorant for private parts. It was so refreshing to hear something other than COVID come out of a health care provider’s lips. And of course, my ears perked right up when I heard the words “private parts.” Basically, it’s a deodorant that is aluminum free and can be used everywhere: arm pits, under the breasts, and private parts. That got me to thinking. What do “private parts” include and how do you roll that on your your “private parts.” Inquiring minds want to know…so I looked up the product on Amazon. It’s a lotion. So that makes sense. Since I have not tried this product out myself, I can’t necessarily endorse it yet, but it is an interesting concept. I’m not sure this product is the same as the one she was schlepping, but she insists that too many women seek unnecessary antibiotics thinking something is wrong with them when a simple lotion would do the trick!
The whole “private parts” name brings me to the second discovery which is a bit more serious. I read this interesting story while perusing the internet about a school teacher who hadn’t recognized a possible sexual abuse situation because the young child said something about an uncle licking her cookie to which the teacher said to get another cookie. Well…later when talking with the parent who used the same vernacular, the teacher was horrified to discover that this mother could not say vagina and used the term cookie instead. The advice of this article, which I wholeheartedly agree with is that we have to teach our children the correct terminology. There is nothing wrong with the words vagina, vulva, clitoris, penis, and testicles. Even saying “private parts” is not specific enough to always know what a child may be referring to. Here is a link to that article:
The final item was an Instagram post by a former colleague who is now a Physician Assistant specializing in Urogynecology, surgery and sex medicine. My wife follows her on Instagram and shared the video where Jessica uses a playdough model of female anatomy to explain a few interesting things. First, I thought I knew my way around a vagina, but I learned the location of the glands that produce lubrication and squirting. However, the most interesting fact was that debris sometimes gets caught under the clitoral hood and if left there long enough can turn into a carotene pearl or tiny stone. Gasp. There might be stuff all up in my business that I don’t know about. The tissue of the hood can apparently adhere over those little pearls causing irritation or sometimes unwanted stimulation. Hmmm…I wonder if that would be like having one of those eggs that your partner turns on at the most inopportune time (dinner with the in-laws). Moral of the story…always check under the hood! Here is a link to the post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CSvFs2MJBAE/
I don’t know if any of this information will ever make it into one of my books. Perhaps. It might be too good to pass up. If you want to read about the interesting things I research and include in my books, you know the drill, just click on one of the links below. And…don’t forget about this week’s sales in MyLesfic. Two great Affinity writers: Lacey Schmidt and TJ Vertigo with their books Catch to Release and Caution Under Construction are featured this week.
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Cancer Sucks…Part II
I vaguely recall writing about this before because cancer is that terrible disease that has affected far too many people in my life. The helpless feeling I have when cancer takes a person well before their time is something that I can’t ever put into words. This powerless feeling sucks. Another angel lost their life to this terrible disease and I keep wondering why. Rhonda, we love you and will miss your glorious spirit. In Billy Joel’s famous words, “Only the good die young…”
I suppose my lack of faith in God doesn’t help, but I do hope that those who believe are comforted by their faith. Unfortunately part of my nerdiness manifests in my inability to deal with this part of life. I’m awkward and inefficient with my support of those who are feeling the pain way more than me. I can’t even imagine losing my wife to cancer and yet that is what my good friend is experiencing. It sucks.
As a person who always wants to find the answer to making a person feel better, cancer leaves no perfect solution. And, I struggle to provide the support needed. Offering to be there for the person seems hollow, especially thousands of miles away. Sometimes writing helps me work through these overwhelming emotions, but stories with happily ever afters rarely allow for the stark reality of life and death. I can only hope my dear friend will find second time around love. I doubt I would. That’s why I intend to live this life to its fullest with my beautiful wife because life is short!
I’m not going to make a plug for any of my books, because that would be so wrong on so many levels. Instead, I’d like everyone who reads my blog to pray or send whatever thoughts to the universe they feel appropriate that a cure for cancer or any other illness that takes people before their time will surface and stop any future pain to those that are unlucky enough to suffer from this fate. Sorry to not plug the My Lesfic sales this week from fellow Affinity authors. Somehow, I know you understand! Peace to everyone.
August 6, 2021
Gambling
I’m not much of a gambler. In the past when I’ve gone to Las Vegas, I’ve never spent more than $20.00 on the slot machines. Total, not per day. Sure, I’d go with my mother to Bingo every time I would visit, but that was more about spending time with her, doing something she loved. My mother loved to gamble and she would play bingo and the slots. She was good at it, too…often winning. She had a drawer full of money that was her gambling winnings.
In two days, I turn 62 and will be eligible to take early social security. My mother did and it paid off. Unfortunately, it paid off because she died just shy of her 73rd birthday. As I approach this milestone, I’ve already decided I’m going to wait until full retirement age to start receiving my social security benefits. Mostly I’ve decided this based on advice from our financial planners, but I’m not stupid, I know it’s a gamble with the government. I’ve done the calculations. I envision the government as “the house” in an evil casino scenario, and “the house” never loses. At least, it has never lost with me. I’m not lucky like my mother. It’s easy to do the calculations. If I live to 79, I will have beat “the house” by waiting until full retirement age. If I wait until age 70 to receive social security, I will beat “the house” if I live past 82. Now that might seem like good odds because my dad is 87, and a lot of people are living into their 80’s and 90’s, but on my mother’s side of the family, there is evidence of short lives. So, unlike my wife, I don’t plan to gamble against “the house.” I’m taking social security at 66 and 10 months. These are morbid thoughts to have two days before my birthday, but in some ways, I am a very practical woman. In blackjack terms, I’m not sure if I’m taking another card because I have a 16 in my hand, or holding because I have seventeen. Regardless, I am going to gamble with “the house” and presume that I will live to at least the age of 79.
Sometimes I think that taking a chance on a new author, or on a genre that I wouldn’t typically read is a gamble, but I do it because in this case, my gambling has paid off. I understand that convincing others to purchase my dystopian novel might be a gamble, or at the very least, stepping outside their comfort zone. Yet, I really encourage readers to try something new because the feedback I’ve been given when a reader steps outside of their normal genre and takes a chance with one of my less conventional books, is almost always excellent. If you would like to take a gamble on The Others, you know the drill, just click one of the links below. I’m pretty sure you’ll beat “the house”. Don’t forget about the books on sale in MyLesfic from the wonderful authors, Erin O’Reilly and JM Dragon, my bosses and mentors: Addicted to You and Against All Odds!
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Branding
While we were driving through New Mexico, I noticed a sign that said: If you don’t establish your brand, be prepared to be branded (or something like that). Obviously it was an advertisement for someone to help with business marketing. That got me to thinking what brand has been attached to me from readers. I have some guesses….here are my top 10…in no particular order.
Nerd Alert
Quirkapotompus
Big Mouthed Broad
Tree Hugging Scribe
Color Outside The Lines
Off The Wall Author
Acquired Taste
Romasher
Bucking The Norm
Unconventional Activist
The funny thing about the above guesses is that I don’t think a true marketing guru would approve of any of those choices! So what’s a quirky woman like me to do? Probably continue to let the readers brand me in whatever fashion they want. Maybe giving readers the license to brand at will won’t hinder my brand! Don’t get me wrong, I think the sign is undoubtedly spot on. I really should have a better marketing plan. But since I am old and set in my ways, especially at this late stage in my writing career, it just isn’t worth the angst I will surely go through trying to figure out my brand and market it. So I’ll just continue to be the odd little nerd that I am and hope enough readers like what they read! If you want to check out my books and make your own suggestions on my brand…you know the drill…click the links below! And don’t forget to check out my award winning romance A Window to Love which is on sale this week through MyLesfic.com.
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Push me off a cliff
My wife and I have a bit of dark humor surrounding maturing, and she often jokes about if ever getting to a point in her life when she can’t live independently and needs care. Her exact words are: just push me off a cliff. Unfortunately it became all too apparent when visiting my father that getting old is not for the faint of heart.
It is clear to everyone in our family that my father needs to be in an assisted living community, but he flatly refuses to move anywhere. What is even more concerning is that he continues to drive at risk to both himself and others. He is blind in one eye and has considerable trouble seeing anything close up or far away with his other eye. Once a month he gets a painful shot to retain some eyesight in his one good eye. After taking him to the eye doctor, I learned that while he is technically legal to drive with his one good eye, it is not recommended. He’s been playing fast and loose with the facts and claimed his ophthalmologist does an eye test every month and sends that information into the department of transportation to enable him to continue to drive. Not even remotely true. Yes, they do the eye test, but not for the purpose of clearing him to drive. That must be done by a licensed optometrist. Unfortunately my father is stubborn and will not stop driving. It is heartbreaking watching his decline. While I understand this loss of independence is horrible, I worry about the consequences of his refusal to give up driving. I would definitely not want to be in his position, but may be at that point someday unless my wife kindly pushes me off a cliff.
Recently I started writing a book about a mature couple buying a ghost town and developing a lesbian retirement community. I want to make this a light-hearted book like pretty much every book I have ever written, with sprinkles of more serious messages. Hopefully, my recent visit with my father will not color my vision, but allow me to work through my thoughts on watching a parent age and deteriorate. Perhaps I can still address those issues with humor and grace. We shall see…If you want to see how I address other social issues in my books, feel free to click the links below! And, of course if you want to complete Jae’s book challenge and need a Dystopian novel, The Others is perfect to fit the bill. Don’t forget to check out the fabulous Affinity Rainbow Publications book A Walk Away by Lacey Schmidt.
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Good Corruption
Huh? How can corruption be good? The dictionary describes corruption as: 1) dishonest or fraudulent conduct by those in power, typically involving bribery; or 2) the process by which something, typically a word or expression, is changed from its original use or meaning to one that is regarded as erroneous or debased. However, when joking about corrupting another person, it is often about being a bad influence. This is the kind of corruption I’m talking about, and sometimes, getting a person to enjoy life and partake in wonderful cocktails, can be good corruption.
When my wife and I reached our end destination to visit with my father, we promptly brought out our rolling bar, and my mixologist wife was nice enough to make a wonderful basil mojito for me upon request. Of course, we had to share this wonderful drink with my 87 year old father. I call that good corruption…because if I ever reach the age of 87, I would hope the people who love and surround me will continue to provide good corruption! Excellent mixed drinks, especially during the pandemic was a life saver! We also brought him a bottle of his favorite alcohol, Benedictine and Brandy. He described the drink as delicious. I see multiple mojitos in his future while we’re visiting. The pandemic has definitely enabled widespread corruption.
Now…to tie this into books. I suppose the religious right might describe the kind of books I write and read as something that corrupt young minds. But, I call this good corruption. I am so glad I was introduced to Sapphic fiction. The spicier the better. Whenever I’ve been asked if I have any young adult books that are appropriate for teens just starting to discover themselves, I second guess my recommendations. I have several sweet romances, but the sex scenes are not fade to black. I wonder if suggesting Locked Inside, Unconventional Lovers or my latest book, The Others is appropriate for young adults. They all have young adults as main characters, but they also have relatively detailed sex scenes. Am I corrupting the youth of today by suggesting those books? Who knows, but in my humble opinion, reading about sex in your teens is good corruption because let’s face it, exploring one’s sexuality, including sexual experimentation, is natural. We should never present something so natural and enjoyable as a taboo that can’t be talked about or read. If you want to check out my books…you know the drill…just clock the links below. Don’t forget to check out the two My Lesfic sale books by the fabulous authors, Riley Jefferson and Renee Mackenzie. Be sure to check out Finding Her Way and 23 Miles!
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July 9, 2021
Old Eyes
Having friends who live in a beautiful part of the country on the way to my father’s house in Florida is a tremendous advantage. Our friends, who live on Lake Cumberland, are graciously hosting us for a whole week. Finally, we can chill for awhile. Don’t worry, I’ll get to the old eyes part of today’s blog…
So…my wife loves hanging out in nature among the trees and the wildlife. Add a roaring fire and she’s in heaven. The woods call to her. Me, not so much. While I absolutely love hanging out on the lake, and also really am in awe of the beautiful woods surrounding the lake…I have a very unhealthy relationship to the bugs that call the woods their home. The little f—ckers love me. No matter what I do…slather my body in lavender lotion, generously apply skin so soft bug spray, and wear one of those arm bands that are supposed to keep bugs from biting, I come away with at least three new bites a night. And then, my friends just have to warn me about ticks, thus the story about old eyes…
I was quite happily enjoying the beauty of my friends’ place, swiping at the mosquitoes all vying for my attention, when they began to talk about how many ticks they have to pull off of each other. I, of course, began searching my legs for any evidence that I’d been attacked by the new miniature demons. A suggestion was made that it could be a lot of fun for my wife to do a full body search for ticks in the shower. I promptly responded that she has “old eyes” and there was no way I was trusting her to find the little buggers. We’ve been laughing and joking about my comment the entire visit. But, let’s face it, I also have “old eyes”, so I’m not trusting myself to find all those ticks either. I am convinced the little shits have found their way onto my body and are working their way up my leg. Make fun of me all you want, but can you imagine one of them crawling up your inner thigh and taking a big bite once they reach your juicy bits? I’m shuddering imagining that very thing…and this is why if I choose to set any of my scenes in the woods, I’m often poking fun at myself and my princess ways (because you know a little part of ourselves makes its way into our characters). Several of my books are set in the woods or have random scenes in the woods, including my most recent novel, The Others, so feel free to check them out. You know the drill click the links below. Don’t forget about the My Lesfic sales. Two wonderful Affinity Authors and books are featured this week: TJ Vertigo’s Private Dancer and Lisa Ron’s Her.
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July 2, 2021
Back Seat RV Driver
I’ve always wondered where the term back seat driver came from because from my point of view, those unwanted suggestions usually originate from someone in the passenger seat…especially in an RV. Sure, technically we do have a back seat and if we were hauling my grandmother, she would most definitely be giving the person her perspective on what to do while they were driving. But, my grandmother has been long gone, and the back seat of our RV is not used. Yet, both my wife and I do our fair share of back seat driving. I will admit, I am more bothered by her back seat driving than she is by mine. It tends to make me very cranky and then the expletives arrive, like they did when she gave me those instructions in Greece on the back of my scooter. The reason is that not only are those instructions generally not helpful to me, they actually add a fair amount of danger to the situation because they make me extremely nervous.
So…of course I looked up where this expression comes from. The roots are from the 1920’s where people had to actually provide instructions from the back seat to the person chauffeuring them around. So…since I am definitely not chauffeuring my wife around in our RV, I think the next time, I will revert to a joke and tell her to get in the back so I can chauffer her to our next destination if she feels so inclined to provide helpful suggestions and perhaps she won’t be able to see the road enough to give those suggestions!
Ironically, I want the book equivalent of a back seat driver because I am the type of writer to send out my draft manuscripts to a shit ton of people for their helpful suggestions. It doesn’t make me nervous or bring out my cranky side. I know I need help and I believe that is the crux of the difference. When driving, I don’t get cranky when I don’t exactly know how to follow the GPS system and not only do I request assistance from my wife, I welcome it. I also generally don’t get cranky when I ask her to help me back into a place…it’s when I don’t ask for help that I get cranky. I think I will look at reviews in the same way. I ask for them, so when I get ones that are not favorable, I should never get cranky, I should welcome them with open arms. Since I have a new book out (The Others), I am opening my arms wide to anyone who wants to check it out and become a back seat driver. You know the drill…click on the links below! And…don’t forget to check out the two sale books on the MyLesfic site from Dannie Marsden. Two more books from her wonderful Rayne series are available: Rayne’s New Beginnings and Faith in Rayne.
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June 25, 2021
Not a Pantster in Life
I’ve often talked about how I am a total pantster as a writer. I definitely fly by the seat of my pants as I write a book. I’ll have a general idea and then just let the writing take me wherever. What is so odd about this is that in everything else in my life, I am a total OCD planner. Now…my wife would argue with this because she is way more OCD than I am, but the proof is in how I make lists about what groceries are needed for our big RV trip, plan the route and put everything on a spreadsheet, including miles to the next stop and how long it will take, as well as other details and notes about the places we are staying.
I also very deliberately planned my retirement, including doing everything our financial planner advised. Apparently, we are the golden couple and they use us as a model for how everyone should plan for retirement! Yes…I absolutely did puff out my chest in pride.
Today is the day we leave for our 6 week RV Book Tour and we are both so excited. Along the way, we get to meet up with many friends. And… I get to meet for the first time a bunch of readers that I communicate with on Facebook. Okay…maybe a bunch is stretching the truth just a tad…Perhaps I will pick up a few more Facebook friends if I continue to post our journey…so I’ll post the map again…just in case someone decides to direct message me and let me know they would like to meet! Even though I am an introvert…I do well with small groups or one or two people. I have promised myself that I will be a lot better about doing at least a very short Facebook live at every stop on the book journey!
Don’t forget to check out the MyLesfic sale books from Affinity Authors. The very talented S. Anne Gardner has her very memorable book, Cold and Lonely, Very Lovely Work of Art (Black Angel Book One) on sale and the other great author Dannie Marsden is offering her book, Rayne Comes to Town (love that Rayne series).
For those who have followed me and support me, I thank you from the bottom and top of my heart. I am so blessed to have readers who are so supportive. To those who are still finding me and have one book, I do have a backlist to check out…you know the drill, just click the links below.
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