Annette Mori's Blog, page 14

Mini-gasms…

Every day I go to my news app and scan the articles and sometimes I come across gems that lead to a new topic for my Friday blogs. Normally, Cosmopolitan has great articles about sexual health, but this past week Buzzfeed ran an article about a twenty-eight-year-old woman who realized she’d never had a full orgasm before. Well…y’all know that had to capture my interest…

The first question I asked myself was what the heck is a full orgasm versus a half orgasm or what some call a mini-gasm. Apparently, this woman’s orgasms were not matching up to what is represented in the movies or TV shows. Not that I am discounting her experience, (because as it turns out there are ways for women experiencing this so-called mini-gasm to graduate to a full orgasm) but my first reaction was, well…duh. Writers often exaggerate the sexual experience on the big and small screen. These shows are fiction for goodness sake. This is also true for many romance novels. We love to make sure the sex scenes are over-the-top hot with characters who have the kind of sexual prowess that one can only find in fiction. That is not to say that women have not experienced very satisfying orgasms or have a healthy sexual life, especially lesbians or women loving women, but to hold my experiences up to those in the romance novels would be silly.

However, as I read the article, it was clear there are some women who have something called pelvic floor dysfunction and this will most certainly affect the strength of a person’s orgasm. Now this made sense to me. I am sure we have all experienced times when an orgasm was especially powerful compared to other times when it was just meh. I won’t go into great detail on what a person can do to enhance their experience, but there are several remedies including, vaginal muscle relaxer suppositories, pelvic floor exercises, yoga, trigger point injections on one’s pelvic floor muscle, robotic laparoscopic excision surgery (a procedure to remove scar tissue from the uterus).

So what the heck is the pelvic floor? Simply put, it is a group of twenty-six muscles behind the pubic bone. In order for a person to have full orgasms, the muscles have to be able to contract and lift as well as relax and lengthen. A person with pelvic floor dysfunction has tight and inflexible muscles which prevent the person from having optimal blood flow. Since sex adds more muscle tension, there is less pelvic floor range of motion making it harder to achieve adequate nerve stimulation. Full orgasms require enough nerves to “go over the threshold.” The bottom line is that if the muscles don’t have enough flexibility, the woman cannot “move through the full involuntary contraction and relaxation sequence that occurs during a full orgasm.”

Now, I know you’ll probably never read about this is a romance novel, but wouldn’t that be an interesting storyline…character one thinks she’s broken, character two is a sex therapist who knows about this syndrome, and voila they fall in love and finally character one has great sex. Maybe I’ll write the story, or perhaps it will be a tiny subplot in the next installment of the Trophy Wives series. To get the 4th book in the series, just click one of the links below. Or, feel free to click any of the links below for my other books. Hopefully, you can join us tomorrow at noon PST for a live reading, here is a link to the event: https://www.facebook.com/events/705678710693514/

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Happy Pride Month

Although I knew that pride month has its roots in the Stonewall Riots that began with a raid on the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York, on June 28th, 1969, what I did not realize was that for activists pride marches are seen as protests not parties. I’ve always viewed pride month as a celebration of the LGBTQ+ community as well as a protest. I believe for many, it can be both.

I didn’t attend my first pride march until I was in my thirties. Sadly, I didn’t even know they existed until then. Having realized I was a lesbian when I lived in Arizona, a person didn’t really talk about those things back then and especially not in the deep red state of Arizona (things have changed a bit for the better). Too bad I didn’t know the first pride march in Phoenix was organized in 1981, which would have meant there was one to attend when I lived in Arizona. Since I discovered I was a lesbian in my twenties and we often made the trek from Flagstaff to Phoenix, it would not have been an inconvenience to make the drive. After moving to Seattle, I learned of a very robust community for lesbians and along with my pals from work, we had a grand ole time at the pride event, which I finally attended in the 90s.

One year I remember our rainbow riders bike group decided we would join the Dykes on Bikes with our little road bikes (not motorcycles, the two wheeled pedal variety). It was hilarious and great fun. Sure, there were speeches of the political variety, but I didn’t have the kind of appreciation and reverence that I have today for the pride parade and the month.

Although we have come a long way since that first pride march in 1970 on the anniversary of the start of the Stonewall Riots, the alarming attacks on our community, especially on our trans brothers and sisters, means we have a ways to go. I will still view this month as a celebration of diversity, but now I try to keep in the back of my mind why we especially need this month to make our voices known. Let’s not lose sight of the original intent of pride month. It is a protest. We will not be erased. We’re here, we’re queer…get used to it, because this little lesbian is not going away or climbing back in the closet…again!

I’m stoked to have a new book that just came out during pride month, especially since I co-wrote the book with my good pal and author extraordinaire, Ali Spooner. So far it seems to be well received (probably because Ali is a co-author-whatever she pens turns to gold). For those who have followed Ali and me, you know this book is the fourth installment in the Trophy Wives Series that we started several years ago. What’s not to like about lesbian pleasure workers, who are great friends that love deeply? If y’all want to check out Trouble in Paradise or any of my previous backlist, you know the drill…just click the links below!

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Gender Identity

Before my meeting last week with an insurance trust that I am a board member, I thought I was relatively knowledgeable about gender identity. Boy was I wrong. The consultants were discussing how insurance underwriting was more challenging these days, especially in California where one group they worked with had nine different genders that individuals could choose from. Well…that definitely caught my interest, because off the top of my head I could only think of six: Cismale, Cisfemale, Transman, Transwoman, Intersex, and Non-binary.

I never did find the list of nine genders in California, but I learned so much more, terms I’d never heard before. It also seemed like gender and sexual preference or identity seemed very intertwined within a number of different articles. I really wanted to unravel that a bit more since the two seem to be different things and I wonder why all several articles wanted to combine the two topics. But, that is a topic for another day. Here is a list of terms I’d never heard before (I feel very uneducated right now):

Genderqueer: People who identify as neither woman nor man, both woman and man, or a combination. Apparently, this term is also used interchangeably with non-binary. Honest question here…why is there a need for this term if non-binary is used interchangeably?

Genderfluid: People who prefer to express either or both maleness or femaleness, and that can vary, perhaps from day to day. I love this one…even better than non-binary because of the fluidity. How cool is that!

Gender Nonconforming: A person who does not conform to cultural gender norms. I believe a lot of us could claim this label. I went through a phase where I wore boxer shorts underneath my jeans, and I believe this might fit this definition. Unfortunately, they bunched up as bad as bikini underwear with tight jeans. So I gave them up!

Gender Expansive: Apparently this is a more politically correct term versus Gender Nonconforming and is preferred now. The non-conforming part somehow insinuated that something was “wrong.”

Agender: People that do not identify with any gender. I knew of asexual, but not agender.

Deadname and Deadnaming: The birth name of a person who has changed their name. And then some asshat who insists on referring to a person who is transgender by their non-affirmed name is deadnaming them. Although I did just read an article where this term was used so I had an inkling of what it meant. However, these terms were relatively new to me.

Gender Outlaw: People who refuse to allow society’s definition of male or female to define them. Love this one!

Omnigender: Experiences possessing all genders.

Polygender or Pangender: People who experience and display parts of multiple genders.

Gendervoid: This one is similar to agender, but specifically refers to not only a lack of gender identity, but also a sense of loss or a void in not feeling that gender identity.

Now I could keep going because I found this article that lists 72 other genders, but I think I will just provide the link to the article: https://www.medicinenet.com/what_are_the_72_other_genders/article.htm I did not know the majority of these terms!

I hope this has provided you with some interesting information. I know I thoroughly enjoyed doing the research. Learning and growth is a lifelong experience, or it should be…besides my blog, I hope I provide interesting tidbits in my books. It’s something I love to do. If you want to check that out, you know the drill, simply click on the links below!

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Whose rights are they anyway?

I believe it’s time for a hard pivot away from sex and onto politics. I have a special gift for y’all today. I asked award-winning author Karen Richard to do a guest blog for me since she is far more knowledgeable on the topic.

Here are her words of wisdom:

In light of the leaked Roe v. Wade opinion from a few weeks ago, people are gearing up for an end to a woman’s right to choose. While many people are appalled that the government will force any woman capable of bearing a child to carry that child to term, some of us are also concerned about the further-reaching aspects of the decision. Like, what about the other rights that were granted based on the same legal theories that seem to be ripe for overturning in light of the analysis of the leaked opinion?

What rights are those? Well, many rights come from the same right to privacy that governed the Roe decision. In addition to a woman’s right to choose whether to carry a pregnancy to term, married people had the right to get contraception. Nope, I am not even kidding. The landmark Griswald v. Connecticut case overturned a law that forbids people from using “any drug, medicinal article or instrument to prevent conception.” In a 7-2 decision, the Supreme court found that the law violated the right to marital privacy. It’s important to note that the word privacy does not appear in the Bill of Rights but has been found to give us rights other than those enumerated there. Of note is that the right to marital privacy was only granted in 1965! So people, during my (admittedly long) life, there were enforceable laws against contraception. Seems crazy, right? Even crazier, this right was not extended to unmarried couples until 1972. This was followed by Roe v. Wade in 1973.

Also, back in the bad old days of 1986, a horrible case was brought to the Supreme Ct called Bowers v. Hardwick. That case upheld a Georgia sodomy law that criminalized oral and anal sex (even in private between consenting adults). I am so old that that case was considered the law of the land when I took Constitutional Law back in the day. Fortunately, that case was overturned in 2003 by the Lawrence v. Texas case, which held that there is “no legitimate state interest which can justify its intrusion into the personal and private life of the individual.” Although that case was based on liberty interest as protected by the due process clause of the 14th amendment, Justice Kennedy indicated that the real beginning point for the evolution of the concepts in Lawrence could be found in the right to privacy under Griswald.

Yikes, there seems to be a lot riding on this right to privacy which the leaked Supreme Court decision seemed to say is not really a right. It gets worse. Griswald is among the cases cited in the Obergefell v. Hodges case in 2014, which is the case that legalized same-sex marriage. So, if they get rid of Roe, what happens next? Can they overturn my marriage? Your marriage? Any marriage? I am not sure that is knowable at this point in time, but I can make some guesses. Don’t believe anyone that tells you that any of the above rights are untouchable…all the new Justices that signed off on the leaked opinion made some kind of a statement about not upsetting or overturning well-established law, and yet here they are, overturning a woman’s right to choose… On to my guesses. Marriage equality will fall next under the belief that it should be left up to the individual states. Those of us in current legal same-sex marriages will not be hit by the, y’all are unmarried now stick, but no new same-sex marriages will be allowed in certain states. Some states have codified the right to same-sex marriage, and those states will continue to recognize same-sex marriages. If the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) has not been overturned (parts of it were found to be unconstitutional in Obergefell), then married people will no longer be considered married for purposes of federal law. That impacts things like filing taxes as a married couple, qualifying for the Family and Medical Leave Act to care for your spouse, etc. So, as Justice Ginsberg called it in Obergefell, we’ll have a skim-milk marriage. You know, better than water, but not as good as the real thing. Regarding contraception, some states are already gearing up to ban the morning after pill, which some consider an abortifacient. Some employers don’t want to pay for their employees to get birth control on the employer-supplied health plan (Hobby Lobby, I’m looking at you). Add those together, and I think it is fair to say birth control will be much harder to get in some states, probably the same states that outlaw abortion. Anytime the government takes away a right, no matter the reason, you can be certain there are groups of people waiting to take away another right. Rights are not like pie; there are more than enough to go around. I think the big problem is that when you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

Please check out Karen’s Goldie Winning book, Women of the Year. I believe it is a very timely read in light of what is happening in our country. Here is the blurb: In each month of 2015, Karen Richard wrote a story that focuses on an event during that month that impacts the life of an ordinary woman in an extraordinary way. Follow the months as a woman helps a young woman into an abortion clinic, tells of her first kiss, finds a stray puppy, deals with the aftermath of a hate crime, follows a dead body action plan, selects the perfect companion, helps give the last wish of a dying Vietnam War veteran. Women of the Year deftly weaves together humor and poignant observation with pointed social and political commentary through the lives of ordinary women just trying to make sense of the world they live in.

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And…of course, if you want to read any of my books, the links are below. I have a brand new book out and another one coming in June, co-written with the amazing Ali Spooner. Look for both Georgetown Glen and Trouble in Paradise that is actually available at the Affinity site right now!

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Pump It Up

So, last week I wrote about this relatively new craze where women are looking for ways to grow their clit. One of those ways was a clit pump. Admittedly, I knew absolutely nothing about either the movement to grow one’s clit or clit pumps, but as with many topics related to human sexuality, this definitely piqued my interest. Since I promised to write a blog solely devoted to clit pumps…here we are. As a fun side note, I did recall a song way back in my club days about pumping it up, and here is the link to the YouTube video with that song (enjoy): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux6TEz4LoqQ

The other thing I am embarrassed to admit is that I knew all about penis pumps. In fact, I believe I’ve received a few emails over the years regarding those devices (don’t even get me started on why the hell I am receiving those emails-some even at work which I bitched about quite loudly). What kind of lesbian am I that I had no idea about clit pumps? It seems incredibly unfair that some marketer felt the need to send me something on a penis pump, but I’ve received squatola on the equivalent for women. America is truly a misogynist society.

So…here’s what I’ve learned. Cosmopolitan strikes again with a useful article on the topic: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a36300982/best-clit-pumps/

A clit pump is designed to draw blood to a woman’s genitals which increases arousal and sensitivity (of course good old manual sucking would probably do the trick just as effectively).It was good to learn that a person can’t “break their clit”. However, there was a caution about the possibility of damaging the tiny blood vessels around the clit, bruising, damage to vulvar tissue, or loss of sensitivity. Since lesbians love marathon love-making sessions because we can…there is a caution to be aware of sessions lasting more than four hours that lead to a loss of sensation or a change in color while using a clit pump.Investing in a pump that has an adjustable suction and quick release button is highly recommended.As was discussed in my previous blog, a clit pump can grow a person’s clit which has the benefit of satisfying a person’s aesthetic needs which can be important for gender affirmation for transmasc and/or TGNC folks.Clit pumps can be classified as a sex toy and women have been known to orgasm using a pump.This was something I definitely did not know…Clit and Pussy pumps are not the same. Clit pumps are more cylindrical and only cover the external glans of the clit, while pussy pumps are shaped like an oxygen mask covering the whole vulva.Always read the instructions if you want the best outcome!Before incorporating a partner, it is suggested to try one out solo first. We all love a little self love from time to time! That way you’ll know exactly how much suction is appropriate for your individual taste.Clit pumps come in different sizes (variations in the diameter) as opposed to pussy pumps which are essentially the same size. This is because some people have larger clits (especially those who already used gels and other things to grow their clit). There should be air around the tissue inside the pump and the base of the pump should be in complete contact to create the seal and ensure the pumping effect works.

Hopefully, you’ve enjoyed this additional education. I know I had a lot of fun researching both topics. While I am not known for erotica, and honestly struggle to write a good sex scene, I find that researching these topics does help to keep things fresh and new in my books, since I will often weave in the bits and pieces that I’ve learned. If you have a desire to check out my books…you know the drill, just click the links below. I have a brand new book out and another one coming in June, co-written with the amazing Ali Spooner. Look for both Georgetown Glen and Trouble in Paradise that is actually available at the Affinity site right now!

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Get From Affinity Now! Book 4 in the Trophy Wives Club Series

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Grow Your Clit

Yes, I am really going to talk about this new movement on Reddit that has 29,000+ followers titled Grow Your Clit. Of course, I had to join to see what the hoopla was all about. Yes, it does exist, here is the link if y’all want to check it out: https://www.reddit.com/r/GrowYourClit/ There are pictures, questions, comments, and anecdotal stories. This site has it all. You have to be over 18 to join because…duh, it has pictures of the larger clits that people have grown. The most popular reason provided is to enhance their sexual experience. The bottom line is that a larger clit equals greater sensitivity, which leads to increased sexual satisfaction, including an enhanced libido. This was especially true for individuals who had a hard time climaxing via clitoral stimulation. And this movement is an equal opportunity movement – anyone with a clitoris can get in on the fun, no matter how one identifies.

After joining the site and scrolling through the posts there appear to be several ways for women to grow their clits. Here’s what I found:

HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) cream rubbed directly on your clit hood or glandsStraight T gel (Testosterone gel, I assume) again rubbed directly on your clitDMSO (Dimethylsulfoxide) cream – to be used along with gels or creams that might burn when directly applied to your clit because DMSO is typically used to decrease pain or expedite healing of woundsIn addition to putting creams or gels directly on your clit, another suggestion is to use pantyliners so you don’t have to wait for the cream or gel to dry. This apparently makes doing one’s laundry a bit easier! Metoidioplasty surgery is designed to cut the clitoris free from some of the ligaments and labia. This enables the clit to become erect and reach its fullest length, which allows a person’s clit to appear somewhat bigger when flaccid (because it is no longer tied down).DHT (Dihydrotestosterone) – A male hormone typically used for male baldness and unfortunately illegal in the USA clit pump, which apparently can also be a penis pump that works with clits. Although, I do believe there are pumps specifically designed for clits. This might be a whole new topic because clit pumps are actually a sex toy and pump up your clit!

I could have spent all day going through the posts, but the above list should at least get y’all started. There are a whole lot of true believers (29,000+ and counting). And, it isn’t just young folk who swear by this grow your clit movement. There were a fair number of women who are in the midst of menopause and have experienced a lower sex drive that swear by this movement. I will admit to some discomfort scrolling through the posts, especially when I looked at all the pictures. I almost felt like I was trolling through a porn site, but honestly, it was downright fascinating to me.

As with all my other research, no doubt this will makes its way into one of my future books. I simply can’t help myself. In the meantime, please feel free to check out my books that have other interesting and fascinating bits and pieces that will either make you laugh or provide valuable information to possibly spice up your intimate life. You know the drill, click the links below. Many have been waiting patiently for Georgetown Glen, which is about a lesbian retirement community. I’m happy to say it is now out for you to purchase and enjoy.

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Lesbian Bed Death

I touched briefly on this last week when talking about sex after 50 and thought this might be a good topic for a blog. Thus, here we are! As I sit at the Writers Retreat in Top Sail, North Carolina, I asked the group how many have heard of Lesbian Bed Death and everyone raised their hands. Then I asked how many believed it was a real thing and many hands went down. So…of course, I had to do more research on the topic. I found a great article that revealed the origin of the concept, which of course was not developed by lesbians and also did not include a very large sample. As a result, there is a lot of justifiable skepticism about whether this is truly a thing or not. Ultimately, I agree with those who believe the term is a questionable one for something that probably occurs to a lot of couples in mature monogamous relationships. Many couples experience an evolution in their sex life as their relationships mature.

There has not been a ton of research about lesbian sex, but we can all celebrate the 2016 study that revealed while lesbian couples may have sex less often, we have it for much longer. And, not that having an orgasm is the be all end all of intimacy, but lesbians also had more orgasms than straight couples. I don’t know about y’all, but I’ll take quality over quantity any day of the week! Although there were problems with the original coining of the phrase because of the small sample, the term has persisted and many have noted how problematic and possibly misogynist it can be. A sort of internalized misogyny exists when we believe that what we are doing isn’t necessarily sex if it doesn’t include penetration. Because of this, we may be reluctant to admit we aren’t having as much sex as we used to, thinking we are reinforcing this misogynistic view of lesbian sex. Plus, Lesbian Bed Death is such a horrible descriptor. Especially since this is something that actually happens to all couples, not just lesbians.

Unfortunately, not talking about it can lead to shame and guilt around how much sex we are having. The bottom line is that this is a universal issue for all couples. There is no magic number regarding the amount of sex we should be having at any point in our relationship. The issue generally becomes problematic when one partner’s sex drive is higher than the other’s and that has nothing to do with a false notion that lesbian bed death exists, but hetero bed death does not.  Like any other relationship issue, the only way to deal with this is through communication. None of us should just accept that as lesbians we’re going to stop having sex at some point in our mature relationships. That’s just not true. My own research suggests that is full-on bull crap and all I had to do was ask a bunch of lesbians at the writer’s retreat!

Okay, time for the tie-in to my books. Thankfully, I have not shied away from including sex scenes between mature couples who have been together for some time, because as I said before that isn’t just fiction, it is real life. No magic number means no magic number and every couple is different. If you want to read about this, I suggest checking out The Others and while I don’t explicitly include a sex scene between my mature couple in Georgetown Glen that comes out in May, I certainly infer that the couple has a healthy sex life. You know the drill…just click the links below.

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Sex After Fifty…

I came across several articles addressing this topic, wondering if it is different for lesbians or women loving women versus heterosexuals. While it is a biological fact that women of menopausal age develop thinning of vaginal walls and experience more vaginal dryness which certainly has an effect on the woman’s sex life, this does not have to mean the couple will necessarily experience ‘lesbian bed death.’ Of course, this was a secondary topic I was interested in as well. Unfortunately I couldn’t find much that was specifically related to sex between women after 50, although there were many articles on lesbian bed death. Maybe I will tackle that topic in another blog.

My conclusion based on a number of sources is that the reduction of sex in established couples has less to do with menopause, lesbians, or even busy schedules. I came across research conducted by AARP, that while the article is not limited to lesbians or women loving women, there were some eye-opening statistics.

Only 58 percent of women More than 90 percent of men tell their partner “I love you” regularly, while only 58 percent of women tell their partner they love them regularly compared to 90 percent of men. And among the happiest couples, 85 percent of both men and women said I love you at least once a week. What??? Come on ladies we need to step up on the romance!While 78 percent of couples say they hold hands at least sometimes, among couples who’ve been together 10 or more years, more than half say they no longer hold hands. This was just one of the data points that led me to believe that less sex after 50 has less to do with menopause and more to do with the ‘honeymoon is over’ phenomenon. I still love holding my wife’s hand, which I must admit in today’s ever increasing anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric makes me nervous in public, but I refuse to let them win!32 percent of men and 48 percent of women avoid public displays of affection. The sad part of this is that 68 percent of couples who do not display affection in public self-report they are unhappy or only slightly happy with their mates, while 73 percent of the happiest couples kiss and hug in public at least once a week. See note above on my refusal to let the bastards win. If a quick kiss to my wife makes people uncomfortable, tough shit!12.5 percent of people in a relationship for a year or less say reported they had sex with their partner out of obligation as compared with couples in a relationship for 21 years or more where it was nearly half (49.6 percent). Again I attribute this astounding statistic to the fact that new relationships have the excitement that fuels the sexual energy more than established relationships.38 percent of couples do not kiss passionately at all anymore. Once again of the happiest couples that stat nearly doubles to 74 percent kissing passionately at least once a week. So…want to keep the passion going…go for that epic lip-lock at least once a week or more.31 percent of couples have sex several times a week; 28 percent have sex a couple of times a month, and 8 percent have sex once a month. And the final sad stat on this is that one-third reported rarely or never having sex. The good news is that this didn’t necessarily mean the couples weren’t happy because among those couples who reported being “extremely happy,” an unbelievable one-fourth rarely or never had sex. So…even if you and your partner have encountered ‘lesbian bed death’ that does not mean the death of your relationship.A recent University of Michigan/AARP poll found that 40 percent of those between 65 and 80 report being sexually active, with more than half of those with a partner stating they still engage in intimate encounters. For people in their 50s, a separate study found that up to 91 percent of men and 86 percent of women are sexually active. And one-third who are in their 50s are having sex at least once a week.Many women reported that sex after 50 was some of the best sex in their life because the kids were gone and there was more sponteneity. Some researchers have argued that people should not assume a decline in hormones automatically leads to a decline in libido. A study out of King’s College London found that menopause doesn’t play as great a role in sexual problems as once thought. A bigger factor was whether the person had issues with desire and orgasm before menopause. Thus short, women can still pursue a fulfilling sex life — even after menopause, and even if it is less frequent than when you first got together with your partner and mimicked little bunnies!

I hope y’all have found this as fascinating as I did. Bottom line, intimacy can come in many forms, sex is only one of them and happy couples do not always depend on sex to secure the relationship. Although, it is clear that a woman can have sex well into their 70s and 80s. With that in mind, I hope you all will enjoy reading about the happy couple in Georgetown Glen: Queermunity Living at Its Finest due out in May. They aren’t the only couple featured, but I wanted to write a story about a couple in their 60s who are retired and in a different phase in their lives than the younger couple who are also featured in the story.

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Also available in audible: https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Disconnected/dp/B09Y5JSQT9/

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Life is a mixed bag…

This past week has had highs and lows…just like life. I’ve often heard that if life was all rainbows and unicorns every day of the week, we would not be able to distinguish between the good and bad times. The lows are there so that we can appreciate the highs without getting complacent and expecting that only positive events cross our paths.

I’m sure by now everyone knows the passing of a beautiful soul this past week. I was proud to not only call Erin O’Reilly my mentor but my friend. Her passing leaves a great big hole in the Affinity Rainbow Publications family. Erin had the soft touch to soothe any author’s ruffled feathers. Authors can be such a sensitive bunch! She was also the one who gave freely of her time to help new authors find their voices. I learned about head-hopping, passive voice, proper use of dialogue tags, and honestly, Erin tried very hard to teach me show not tell. But alas that is one area I am still working on. Descriptions are not my thing! If you haven’t read any of Erin’s books, might I suggest you start with her series When Hell Meets Heaven. Link to Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/When-Hell-Meets-Heaven-Collection-ebook/dp/B01M0N8YDG I know Erin got emails and other messages from fans who loved her work, I know I always told her how much I enjoyed her books, but it is always sad for me to learn that sometimes readers don’t find a great author until after they’ve passed. I suspect this will be true of Erin. I only hope that wherever she is, the accolades reach her!

Yesterday, I was delighted by the news that the Senate finally confirmed Ketanji Brown Jackson to the supreme court and managed to get three Republican votes. Certainly a high note to the week. Despite all the horrible news, including daily assaults on the LGBTQ+ community, this one shining story lifted my spirits. Of course, I am not naive enough to believe that without another confirmation the dramatic shift to the far right will stop, but I have to hang onto hope that we won’t lose the Senate and might get our chance to confirm one more. Life is unpredictable. Remember…it is a mixed bag. And lately, too many of the boring peanuts that I pick around have filled that bag. We’re due some additional delicious cashews.

I answered a post this past week where authors were asked a question about which book did not receive a lot of love but we thought the book was better than the reception it received (paraphrasing because I don’t remember the exact words to the question). Anyhoo, I answered, The Others. But I could have just as easily provided several other choices. Not all of my books have been top sellers or even mediocre sellers. LOL. Like life, I suppose my books are a mixed bag! Fortunately for me, some readers might like cashews a little better (have a favorite book of mine they re-read) but are just as happy to consume peanuts in that mixed bag. I encourage you to also check out my other exotic nuts (lowest selling books), like The Dream Catcher, Disconnected, and One Shot at Love. Maybe you will find you prefer them over peanuts or cashews. Oh, and by the way…totally risky move…Disconnected is coming out in Audible and will definitely require some love!

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Love Forever Live ForeverThe Thanksgiving Baby CaperThe Book AddictThe Book WitchInspiration Takes a VacationDonner Junior Saves the Day

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Lick…Lick…Lick

Okay, before all your minds head straight for the gutter…that isn’t what this blog is about. As I was almost into dreamland the other night, my oldest rescue cat started licking my hair. He typically sleeps on my pillow and I can only manage to grab a small corner of the pillow, but my hair tends to fan out. He must have decided it needed grooming. The other two male cats bookended me and both of them began licking as well. One was licking my face, while the other started on my hand. My female cat has also started this licking routine when she cuddles with me on the couch as I watch the news. It got me to thinking, what’s with all the licking? It’s annoying. I can groom myself. Thank you very much.

This got me thinking about all the ridiculous rhetoric from the far-right who have justified those heinous laws by stating that teachers are somehow “grooming” young children. I tried to rack my brain for a story about a teacher who licked their student. Nope, never happened, no grooming has ever been done in the classroom. Neither has specific teaching about sex and LGBTQ+ issues to K through grade three. But that hasn’t stopped Governor Deshitass from signing the Parental Rights Law. The dog whistle is loud and harmful to our community. We all know that “grooming” is code for pedeophilia. There is no bottom to how low they will go to justify this shit.

One more plea for our community to start paying attention, because the far right is now brazen with their open homophobia and discrimination. They aren’t even trying to soften their rhetoric anymore. While everyone focuses on Will Smith and Chris Rock, more and more states are taking action against the LGBTQ+ community, and specifically the trans community. Maybe we should spend a little less time debating about Will and Chris and focus our energies on the really important topics like how the far right is successfully eroding hard-fought rights. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that they will go back to regulating what we can and cannot do in the bedroom. And marriage equality will be a distant memory. If you believe that could never happen, you better start paying attention. The questions asked at the hearings for Ketanji Brown Jackson tipped their hat. They want unrestricted state rights, including the right to bring back sodomy laws, specifically aimed at LGBTQ+. Welcome to the Age of Ignorance.

Voting, supporting organizations that fight for our rights, boycotts, and continuing to speak out are some of the ways we can fight back. Let’s do it together. I can’t help letting my beliefs enter into my books, but I suspect that is simply singing to the choir. Keep peacefully fighting…we can’t let them win! Having a hard time reaching into my brain this morning for a tie-in to books and promotion of my books specifically, so I’ll leave that off…LOL Nah…April Fools. Seriously, people? It’s the only reason I scrounge each week for topics…so I can promote and maybe get one sale a week from my blog! You know the drill, click the links below…

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Love Forever Live ForeverThe Thanksgiving Baby CaperThe Book AddictThe Book WitchInspiration Takes a VacationDonner Junior Saves the Day

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