Sheritta Bitikofer's Blog, page 19

Confessions of an Anxious Writer

So, I’ve got 9 books published on Amazon right now. I’ve been a self-published author for a year and a half now and it has not been easy at all.

In the beginning, I was excited. Friends and family were super supportive and my first novel – which was not professionally edited – was a hit. To this day, it has the most reviews out of all other books. Then I published another, and then another. I continued revising my old manuscripts for publication until I was itching to write something new. The Decimus Trilogy came out by the end of 2015. It was a hastily put together series, born from a single short story. Then, my pride and joy, my flag ship, the first novel I ever penned, The Enigma, was released in June and it seemed to be hit. I just released its sequel and my next novel, Passions, is up on Kindle Scout for a publishing contract.

Through it all, I’ve struggled with editing and marketing. I’ve poured money into advertisement that yielded no profits and made book covers for novels that may never see the light of day. I’ve had moments of confidence and moments of crippling self doubt.

I write this with the disclaimer that I am in one of those crippling self doubt moments and I’m sure I’ll pull out of it soon, but while I’m in this rut, I’d like to express the hardships that come with being a writer and creator of original content (artists, poets, etc.)

My writing is not where I want it to be. It’s not where it was, thank the good Lord above, but it’s not what it should be. Classes and how-to books can only get you so far. Sometimes, you have the scene imagined perfectly in your mind but somehow it just doesn’t flow that easily onto the paper. I read amazing novels by classic and modern authors alike, and I marvel at how they can weave these wonderful stories and use the right choice of words to paint a picture in the reader’s mind. It blows my mind when I’ve spent a few hours reading Susan Krinard, and then I go to reading something I wrote and realize how crappy I am in comparison.

In this life, it may be detrimental to compare oneself to other writers and authors who have had much more experience and resources than yourself. But then, I had the pleasure of meeting a fellow self-published author. Her FIRST novel was released two months ago and she’s gotten amazing reviews. I read them and I would kill my main characters for reviews like that. She didn’t pay a professional for editing, she didn’t hire a big time graphic designer to do her cover. She just paid a couple hundred to a marketing company and she’s already on the map. I’ve spent the same, if not more, on marketing tactics and didn’t sell a single book.

When I hear about these successes, I have mixed emotions. I’m happy for my colleague and her future as an author. But then I’m envious of how talented she must be to get so many wonderful reviews when I struggle to sell a few books in a month’s time.

I wonder what I’m doing wrong. I wonder how no matter how much advertising I do, no one will buy my books. I wonder if those friends and family who first supported me in the beginning think I’m really not that good and cheer me on because they feel obligated to. I wonder if those reviews on Amazon are real and if those people who read my books and didn’t review think I’m an idiot and terrible writer. I wonder if it’s even worth the money and the trouble. I wonder if trying to find a literary agent would even work or if I should bother. I wonder about how much longer I’ll have the strength to carry on this career. I wonder if I’ll ever achieve my dream of being a stay-at-home author.

At the same time, I wonder what life would be without writing. I wonder if I’d be able to cope with reality without escaping into fantasy every now and again. I wonder what everyone would think of me for quiting. I wonder what my husband would do if he found out I’d given up. I wonder how much regret I’d shoulder for years if I just gave up now. I wonder how many people, who actually might want to hear my stories, would be disappointed to not see anything new from me.

Then I realize that even if I never publish another novel, I have to keep writing. I love to write. It’s my passion and it’s all I’ve ever known. Even if I’m not good at it, even if I can never make it to bookstore shelves, I have to do what makes me happy. Being an author isn’t easy, but being a writer is my life. I’ll always want to create stories and even if the ideas could come to life better in someone else’s imagination, I have to keep going for my own sake. Writing is my life, even if I suck at it.

The First Day…

Moonstruck Wolfgirl

Yes, I know this is a little off topic from what I normally post and it doesn’t really belong to either of the stories I have going on right now, but this story has been pressing on me for the last couple of days and unless I let it out, I won’t be able to write anything else. It’s based off of a personal experience. It’s not what happened, but it could have. And if it did, I probably wouldn’t be writing about it to begin with.

She sat in her car, staring ahead at the stone edifice of building 400. This was her first visit to the campus. Up to this point, it had been all online, but she couldn’t continue without meeting her academic advisor. If emails were enough, she wouldn’t have been there.

This was the only time she could squeeze out of her work schedule to be…

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My New Novel “Passions” is on Kindle Scout!

So, several months ago while I was reading over my monthly Kindle Direct Publishing newsletter that gets delivered to my inbox, I saw that they have this new platform for new authors called “Kindle Scout”. How it works is that as an author, I submit an unpublished manuscript and within 45 days, I could be offered a publishing contract through Amazon. But Amazon doesn’t review it. YOU, as the reader, reviews and nominates it for publication. After the 45 days, if there are enough positive reviews and nominations, the Kindle Scout board takes a look at my novel and decides it they want to offer me a contract. This is a huge thing because it’s like a regular publishing house, only the readers get to decide if my stuff is good enough for Amazon to take a risk on me.

I though this was a pretty neat idea, but I had nothing to submit at the time. Well,  now I do! I just finished up “Passions”. It’s fully edited and formatted for both print and ebook. All I have to do is hit “submit” and it goes live. But I’ve decided since I recently published “Becoming the Enigma”, I want to release “Passions” a little later next month. So, I submitted it to Kindle Scout and the campaign is LIVE TODAY! Yes! You can go on Kindle Scout and help me in my dream to become a serious author by going to my campaign page and nominating me. Did I mention you get a FREE copy of my novel too? The catch for that little perk is that I have to be published first. So, the more nominations, the more likely you are to get a free copy.

Go to this link below and check it out!

Passions by Sheritta Bitikofer on Kindle Scout

I’ll be posting sneak peeks periodically during the campaign and to give you a little taste, here’s the book trailer too!

Sneak Peek into “Becoming The Enigma”

Book 2 of my Loup-Garou series went live this past week and I’m super excited to see how well both it and it’s prequel does in the upcoming months as I punching out the third book. I posted a sneak peek before, but I’d like to give a taste of another because I’m just generous like that.

Be sure to go to Amazon for your copy of “Becoming The Enigma” and if you haven’t read the first book, “The Enigma” yet, I highly recommend it. Enjoy this sneak peek into chapter 2!

As the midnight oil burned, the senior members of the pack were still awake, restless and troubled by the day that seemed hardly over yet. In the back billiard room, a solitary lamp was lit, casting a glow on the teachers as they played the tenth game of pool since the two youngsters had gone upstairs in a fury.

The room was covered in a low pile green carpet and the walls were made of wooden panels, resembling the inside of a bar. In the middle of the room sat the billiard table, the colored balls littered across its felt surface. Dustin was lining up for a shot while the others leaned on their pool sticks, watching him.

Billiards had been their pastime of choice for many years. Only now, they were one player short and took turns being on each other’s team. Precision aim and careful gaging of shots helped to hone their control. In the early days, balls would go flying about the pool hall, knocking holes into the drywall or shattering windows.

“So, how are we going to do this?” Dustin asked as he slid the stick back and forth between his fingers, aiming at the white ball. He was the first to bring up the topic over the last two hours, but everyone had been stewing on their predicament for just as long.

“Do what?” Ben asked.

“Dealing with Katey and Logan. Do we have a game plan? Are we going to let her go to school or keep her home?”

Dustin skillfully knocked the white ball into two solids and nailed them into a corner pocket. He stood up and backed away to allow Ben to take his shot.

“I was going to leave that up to her,” Darren answered, his calm brown eyes fixed on the orange solid Ben was aiming for. “If she shows signs of instability, though, there’s no way she’s going to school.”

“Are you doing to continue to stay in town?”

Darren was glad that Ben reminded him of the home he still owned in Lunar Creek Estates, just around the corner from Katey’s old house that she stayed in before Mary died. He hadn’t been back in days and he was sure that the mailbox would be stuffed by now.

“I’ll have to arrange for one of the Devia loups-garous to check in on the place, but I won’t be returning there until I know that Katey is stable. We can’t afford my absence if an accident should occur.”

“What about Logan?” Dustin asked with the bitter taste of resentment in his tone.

“I know my opinion doesn’t matter, but I don’t think they should be anywhere near each other right now.” Ben popped at the white ball, but missed his mark by a fraction of an inch.

“Why?” Darren looked up with curious eyes.

Ben sighed and shook his head. “They’re just going to cause more problems and drama. It’s not worth it.”

Darren moved forward to take his shot at a striped ball.

“They live together, genius,” Dustin commented. “How are we going to keep them separated?”

“We can’t,” was Darren’s answer as he shot the striped ball into a middle pocket.

Dustin stepped up to evaluate the field.

“Can’t we just dump Logan off with another family in town while we’re trying to train Katey?” Ben suggested, leaning against the wall.

The alpha looked to the omega and shook his head. “It won’t work even if we did.”

Dustin straightened up from his bent position over the table and paused in taking his shot. “Why not? Sounds reasonable to me. I’m getting sick of his attitude. Having a few weeks break from him would be refreshing.”

Darren gave Dustin an amused grin. “Whether we like it or not, Katey and Logan are connected now.”

“They aren’t mated,” Ben stated for the record.

“You both know what I mean,” Darren said, giving them both furtive glances. “Dustin changed you and I recall many times that the two of you felt more like brothers than just pack members. We all know there is some kind of physiological connection formed during the imprinting before a bite. And I’m not talking about the pack bond exclusively.”

Dustin took a deep breath and inclined down to resume his shot. “They’ll get over it.” Ben rolled his eyes at Dustin as he struck the ball, but managed to miss the hole entirely. Dustin kicked the leg of the billiard table in frustration and turned away to pace the floor.

“No, they won’t,” Darren retorted. “And besides, what kind of lesson would that teach them? That if they don’t like someone it’s okay to just up and leave? You saw how successful that was. They’re both in this pack and have to deal with being around each other.”

Ben groaned and covered his eyes with his hand. “There’s going to be so much drama though!” he exclaimed. “I don’t know if I can handle how much just goes on between the four of us, let alone bringing in a female.”

Dustin gripped his pool stick tightly between his fingers and twisted at the wood, making it creak beneath his powerful hands. “I know. I’m just about ready to rip Logan a new one if he rolls his eyes at me just one more time.”

Darren couldn’t help but laugh at the two of them. “No one is going to be doing any ripping around here.”

“So then what are we going to do?” Ben asked, looking to his alpha for answers.

After a moment to pause and think, Darren shook his head. “We do nothing but what is necessary for now. If the tension persists between them, we’ll have to sit them down and talk it over.”

“I don’t agree with what Logan did,” Dubose interjected, “and I don’t agree with the way he’s dealing with his guilt. He’s taking it too hard.”

Ben cocked his eyebrow at his friend. “Weren’t you just wanting to wring his neck earlier and now you care if he feels guilty?”

“He should feel guilty.” Dustin’s eyes stared into space as he spoke. “But he doesn’t have the right to take it out on Katey too. It’s not her fault he went berserk.”

“But, it’s not Logan’s fault that she agreed to it. I can tell somehow that she really is okay with all of this and it puzzles me.” Darren leaned heavily upon his pool stick, staring into space with Dustin.

“And what happened to Katey being your favorite pupil, professor?” Ben jested, waving his hand at his alpha.

Darren chuckled and straightened his posture. “She is, but I think the blame may be split both ways… And like I said, we will do nothing beyond what is necessary to train her.”

A few beats of silence passed before Ben asked, “Have you called John yet?”

Darren sighed at the mention of his former mentor. John, above all others, would have wanted to know about the miracle with Katey. “I’m going to wait until we know for certain that this is the real deal. I don’t want to get his hopes up.”

The three paused as they began to hear a soft piano melody drift through the house, coming from the sitting room. They all looked to each other with knowing eyes.

Read more HERE

“Becoming the Engima” Now Available On Amazon!

The sequel you all have been waiting for is finally published! Yay! Go take a trip to Amazon.com and check out “Becoming the Enigma”! Available on KINDLE!

“Katey McCoy took the leap of faith and accepted Logan’s offer to join his pack. A decision that could have turned fatal, made her into a miracle by becoming the first female werewolf in known history. Along with getting accustomed to her new body, new senses, and new obligations, Katey becomes aware that she is not the indestructible monster of myths and legends. Instead, she learns the hard way that there are many dangers in the world and people who would wish harm upon her.

Under the watchful eye of her pack, Katey not only struggles with her new supernatural nature, but also with her relationship with Logan. She thought becoming a werewolf would bridge the gap between them, but it only proved to plunge them in rougher waters than she could have ever imagined.”

 

To get you a little interested, here is the book trailer for the Loup-Garou series, which “Becoming the Enigma” is book 2 out of (huge spoiler) 6. I’ll be setting my fingers to penning the third installment starting in September and I plan to have “Beast Within” published in early 2017. Super excited!

A letter to my 18 year old self.

Dear 18 Year Old Me,

I know you’re super excited right now. You’re about to graduate high school and move to Florida to be with Jared. It’s what you’ve always wanted and nothing anyone says is going to keep you from going. Not your mother, not his mother, no one. And that’s how it should be. He is the best decision you’ve ever made and he will be your rock and foundation for the many years to come. However, don’t push him to get married right away. It will happen and you’re only going to cause strife between the two of you if you keep pushing for it. It will happen in due time.

As for school, I know you’re enjoying it. Well, maybe not the weight lifting class. Just focus on your work and you’ll do fine. You’ll be so glad to be out of that school and away from those other kids who didn’t understand you. But take this little bit of advice: If they engage you in conversation or ask you to join them at lunch, don’t turn them down. They won’t ask a second time when it’s more convenient. I know you don’t like a lot of people and that won’t change, but drink up all the diversity you can.

Now, we’re going to get to something a little heavier. Writing. Don’t stop it. Things will happen to make you want to quit. I know, it seems impossible for you to ever want to stop writing, but your desire to please God is going to distort your thinking for a time and it will make you stop. Writing makes you happy. God wants you to be happy. God wants you to write. I don’t care if your computer crashes and you lose everything. I don’t care if someone says your writing sucks. It doesn’t suck and you’re going to be published one day. If you stop now, you’re going to set back your success by 3 years and cost yourself a lot of happiness. Keep writing.

As for college, don’t stress. And don’t go to Full Sail. It’s too expensive and credits will not transfer easily. Instead, get your AA at the community college and transfer to a Florida university that has English for a Bachelors. An English degree will help you much more than a writing degree from Full Sail. Not to say that Full Sail isn’t a great school. It is, and you could learn a lot from there. But you’re going to run out of money real quick and will have to drop out before you graduate. Take the cheaper route (by at least half!).

As for work, I’ll let you find out the awesome job you’ll find in Florida. It may not seem all it’s cracked up to be at first, but it will open doors to positions that make you the happiest. You’ll be an important player at your work and they will respect you. It will be much different than Subway, that’s for sure.

Spend time with your grandfather when you move down there. Go visit him at least once a month. You won’t have much more time with him and you don’t want the regret that you should have spent more time with him.

You’re parents are right. I’m not giving you a specific example because you don’t need one. They’re always right, no matter how much you don’t believe so. In just 5 years, they have proven themselves right time and time again. Listen to them.

And quit nagging Jared about getting a dog. You will get one eventually and she will be a blessing. And when you get the second dog, she may not be so much of a blessing, but you will love them both and they will come at the perfect time.

You will have a lot of ups and downs. You will make friends and lose friends. You will meet people that are in your life for a season to serve a purpose and teach you a lesson, and as much as you want them to stay, they can’t. And that’s not your fault. People love you and like to be around you. Just don’t stop caring about others and being generous. It may stress you out, but it’s worth it to be so valuable to others. Just know your limits.

I’ll say it again because I can’t stress it enough: Keep Writing! Don’t stop! Not for anyone! You will thank me later.

Sincerely and with best wishes for the future,

23 year old you

(Yes, you survived that far)

A Better Way To Live…

So, I’m going to show my nerd colors again and say that I’ve stumbled upon something that could genuinely improve the quality of life for myself and anyone who is willing to give this a try.

In 1992, an author by the name of James Gurney published and illustrated a book called “Dinotopia: A Land Apart From Time”. The setting of this book is an uncharted island inhabited by shipwrecked travelers and sentient dinosaurs that have found a way to live in a symbiotic society with its own language, customs, and traditions. More books have been written about this fictional place, as well as a TV series and movie.

I first learned about Dinotopia from the movie and instantly captivated. I’ve always loved the study of cultures, especially fictional ones, and Dinotopia was rich with it. I was a fanatic about it for about a year, and like everything else in my childhood, it became a phase and I moved onto something else.

However, something that has stuck with me over the years is the list of tenets that the society lived by. I could only recall a few on top of my head until recently. One was “Sing every day” and the other was “Do one thing at a time”.

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety problems and a bulk of my issues come from being overwhelmed by so much I have to do or want to do. Lately, I’ve brought those things to the forefront of my mind to see if they would help. I began practicing the “Do one thing at a time” until it became like my mantra.

Lately, I cleaned my whole house from top to bottom and normally, I wouldn’t even get half of it done. Whenever I’d bring laundry into the bedroom, I’d just dump it on the bed and get distracted with something else and I’d have a butt load of unfinished tasks. Well, I can honestly say that “Do one thing at a time” seriously helped. I kept a clear mind and stayed focused on the task at hand until it was done, and then I moved on to the next without going into a panic attack.

So, I decided that if one tenet was working, I might want to look up the rest. Here is my take/commentary on each of the Dinotopian Codes and how we, in the real world, can apply them to our lives.

“Survival of all or none” – Life is precious and no one is worth less than another. One might take this statement to the extreme, comparing it to a scenario like Titanic where over half of the passengers died, but it can be applied to small situations too. Don’t just get ice cream for yourself. Get ice cream for everyone. The point is that everyone matters and if we start living like one person’s life is less important than our own, then we will suffer as a whole in the end.
“One raindrop raises the sea” – This can also be another way of saying that everyone matters. Everyone has something to contribute and they are worth consideration. One person can make a difference.
“Weapons are enemies, even to their owners” – Now, I believe in gun rights. I believe that everyone has a right to defend themselves if they are threatened. This statement is not saying that we shouldn’t own weapons, although the people of Dinotopia probably believed differently. I believe it’s saying that violence doesn’t just hurt the victim. It hurts the offender as well. A person who lives a life of violence, causing harm (either emotionally or physically) to other people can develop mental issues or social interaction problems.
“Give more, take less” – Kind of self explanatory. Be a giver, not a taker. Give your time, your attention, your kindness, your consideration, your plentiful resources, your love. Give the good things in life and don’t expect so much in return. Give freely and joyfully.
“Others first, self last” – Don’t be selfish. Don’t take the last piece of fried chicken from the plate unless no one else wants it first. Don’t put yourself above those around you because they deserve to be treated with respect as well. Take airplane protocol for example. When the oxygen masks drop, the stewardess and pilot instructs you to assist anyone who may be struggling around you before you take care of your own mask. Think of this code in the same way. Take care of others before you get yourself settled.
“Observe, Listen, and Learn” – People in who listen tend to know more than those who won’t stop talking. Someone who talks is sharing what they already know, but a listener is gathering new information all the time. Being observant of your surroundings and how people are interacting around you will give you incites that you wouldn’t have realized before.
“Do one thing at a time” – Multi-tasking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. If you’re one of those people who can multi-task, more power to you. But, there’s something great about taking your time and focusing on the task at hand. You may find, like I did, that you can get more done with less stress.
“Sing every day” – In one of my previous blogs, I recommended singing to reduce stress and anxiety because it increases the endorphins in the brain. This is the “feel good” hormone that makes us happy. In singing every day, we’re pumping ourselves up with that feel good chemicals.
“Exercise imagination” – Imagination is a wonderful thing. We can use it to our advantage and created marvelous skyscrapers or the next best selling book. But we can also use it unwisely and psych ourselves out by over-thinking things. Choose to use this imagination to our benefit. Create something, write in a journal, draw a terrible picture of a horse, paint a sunset, anything to work your mind’s eye.
“Eat to live, don’t live to eat” – Oh, wouldn’t we all love to be skinny and healthy. Well, you can make a choice to. I know it’s asking a lot, but don’t gorge yourself on Chinese when you only need a small side salad. Control portions and balance nutrients so you get what you need to keep your body healthy and happy.
“Don’t p…” – This part of the code is missing, but the end is “Don’t put out the light”. Let your light shine. Show the world your smile and don’t put down someone else’s happiness if you’re feeling bitter and grumpy that day. Built people up, don’t tear them down. Look for the good and point that out rather than focusing on the negative. The world would be a happier place if people loved one another instead of hating whatever they disagree with.
The last code is hidden in the list above. If you take the first letter of every code, is spells out “Sow Good Seed”. Ever heard that saying “you reap what you sow”? Sow good things, whether they be deeds or words, and you will have good things come back to. I guess it’s like karma, but in a good way.

The Loup-Garou Book Series Trailer

So, I don’t know it’s the writing bug that’s biting me in the butt or if I’m just finally getting my life back on track, but I’m getting super excited about my Loup-Garou series again.

I released the first book in this saga, “The Enigma”, back in June and I plan to release its sequel, “Becoming the Enigma”, sometime towards the middle to end of August. I’ve written the first chapter in the third installment, “Beast Within”, but haven’t been able to do much anything else because of anxiety attacks, work being crazy, and school consuming much of my free writing time. The course ends in August, so I should be free to continue writing in my novels around that time.

But, you know that breathless kind of excitement when you think about someone you love or when you’re looking forward to something special? That’s what I’ve been feeling lately with writing in the Loup-Garou series. I tried to calm this building tension by creating the book trailer for the series, but it’s just made me more excited. Getting my first review for “The Enigma” didn’t help either. She gave it a 5 star rating, said she absolutely loved it and is ready for the next book. This review came at an awesome time when I was just about ready to give up on publishing any more books because of the immense cost involved with editing the manuscripts. I was going to publish “Becoming the Enigma” and “Passions” which are pretty much ready, and then drop the whole author thing. But now I’ve reevaluated and decided I’ll focus exclusively on the Loup-Garou series, whose story and characters are the nearest and dearest to my heart.

Anyway, without further delay, here is the book trailer for the Loup-Garou series. Keep in mind, this depicts scenes from all of the first three books to give you a taste of what’s to come. Let me know what you think! And if it makes you want to start reading, check out The Enigma on Amazon  today!

What is beautiful?

I was driving home today and as usual, my thoughts wandered and I came to this topic. Some of these values are expressions of my own insecurities. The rest is what my husband has been trying to drill into my for eight years.

They sat on the park bench together, enjoying the warm sunshine of that spring day. It’d been a long time since they talked and both had so much they wanted to say. She wanted to apologize for everything that happened, while all he wanted to do was start over and make things right again.

He looked to her and watched how her natural highlights caught the sunlight, creating a striking contrast with her brown hair. The wind played amongst the waves of her hair, tossing it over her shoulders and sending tiny strands across her face. Her emerald green eyes squinted at the disturbance and she tried to push the hairs away. Without thinking, he reached out and tucked a locket behind her ear, letting his fingertips linger over her sensitive skin.

Even through her layers of makeup, he saw color rise into her cheek as she grew deathly still. It was his touch that set her off, but he didn’t care. To touch her was to touch life and hold a bit of it in his hands.

She broke free from her stunned state and pulled down the edge of her shirt over her lap, no doubt to try and hide her figure, even though it was buried beneath frumpy clothes and a jacket that was two sizes too large.

“You’re beautiful. You know that, right?” he suddenly said, his mouth blatantly disobeying him. Silence was needed now. Not words. But how could he contain such a truth for so long?

He might have expected her to be angry. At best, flattered. But instead, she looked out over the sparkling lake and gave a humorless laugh. “Don’t lie to me,” she replied.

“I’m not lying. It’s the truth.”

“I’m not beautiful. I never have been and I’ve given up trying for so long now.”

He shifted on the harsh wooden planks of the bench so he could face her more directly. “What makes you say something like that? Why don’t you think you’re beautiful?”

She refused to look at him, keeping her gaze fixed on the scenery around them that paled in comparison to her.

“Beautiful isn’t something anyone can achieve. I’m convinced you’re born with it or you’re not. Beautiful girls stay skinny all their lives without having to diet or exercise. Beautiful girls always have clear, flawless skin and don’t have to wear makeup to look decent. Beautiful girls wake up in the morning, brush their hair and it just falls into place naturally. Beautiful girls can walk down the street and attract men like moths to a flame. Guys drool over those girls with their big boobs and perfect, pinchable butts. They’re the girls that even up as models or actresses on the covers of magazines giving their secrets about beauty away.

“But girls like me, girls who have to wear makeup to look like they don’t have leprosy and hair that has a mind of its own, we can never be that beautiful because we’re not born that way. We’re born with those genes that make us gain weight when we’re stressed and metabolism that can’t keep up. We’re born flat chested or with love-handles that will never go away no matter how much we exercise or diet. There is no secret to being beautiful. You’re born that way or you’re not. And it’s sickening when a beautiful girl passes by a girl like me and I know that it’s not fair.

“I’ve always wanted to be the one that men adored and crushed on in high school. I wanted to be the girl that all the guys wanted to go to prom with and date. I still want to be the girl that walks into a place and turns heads. I want people to whisper about how amazing I look or how perfect my outfit is. Instead, I hear them talk about my  makeup and  why I can’t find clothes that look good on me or why my hair is frizzing so bad. Just once, I’d love to be the girl that other girls are jealous of.”

He sat there, listening to her speech and watching the tears push against her eyelids. He heard the way her voice was starting to crack under the frustration of what she was saying. It was plain that she had thought a lot about this. She had spent too many sleepless nights and countless hours in front of a mirror, singling out every little wrong thing about her face and her body. She’d seen too many magazine covers and heard too many nasty words. Maybe she was teased in school. Maybe she was rejected by a guy she really liked and then saw him go out with some girl that might have been prettier. Maybe her parents never told her that she was beautiful just the way she is.

He was about to make up for that.

“You’re beautiful. I’ve seen the way you treat people. You’re kind and courtesy. You’re considerate of others, going out of your way to make sure everyone’s ok. I’ve seen the way you work hard and you’re the best employee there. You care about people and their happiness, sometimes sacrificing your own to make it happen. You’re funny and smarter than most girls I’ve ever met. You have an adorable laugh.” He reached out and gently pushed her chin so she could meet his eyes. Tears were rolling now, ruining her thick mascara. “You’re even beautiful when you cry because it’s genuine. You don’t cry to get your way or to gain sympathy. You cry because you’re really hurting. You show your emotions, the good and the bad. You’re not shallow or superficial. You’re beautiful for your personality, your character, and your flaws. You’re beautiful because you’re flawed, not flawless. The kind of beauty you describe is only skin deep. Those girls will grow old and bitter because they’ll look back on their glory days and realize they don’t look like that anymore. But you will always be beautiful because time can’t change a soul.”

My Guide To Cleaning

So, if you’re like me, you grew up being told when and what to clean by your parents, but they never really told you EXACTLY when to clean this stuff when you’re out on your own. You know how to do it, just not sure when to do it until it’s too late and that bathroom shower looks too disgusting to even be around.

Well, through some research and personal experience, I have created this chart/picture thing to help you (and myself) keep track of exactly what needs to be done so your house stays looking clean and disinfected.