Sheritta Bitikofer's Blog, page 18

Chapter 1 of “Silver Screen”

[image error]Ok, so I started the edit for Silver Screen a little later than I wanted, but I spent the first day of 2017 with my husband, so it wasn’t a wasted day. We went out to a nice lunch and saw Assassins Creed in theaters, which is a fantastic movie if you’re thinking of going to see it. As a fan of the games, I was thoroughly satisfied. I hope they make a second one.

Anyway, so I’ve been working on Silver Screen and I’m starting to get a little excited because I used the winter break to develop the characters a little more and flesh them out with bolder details of their likes, dislikes, and personality. Here’s the first chapter and y’all let me know what you think. I still may never publish it, but at least I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that I didn’t do a half-baked job.

Chapter 1

Josie muttered under her breath as she fished out the pence and pound notes buried in the bottom of the front pocket on her backpack. The taxi man waited patiently, understanding that she was a foreigner and obviously in a hurry. If Josie hadn’t slept in that morning, she would have been able to catch the shuttle bus with the rest of the film crew from the hotel. Instead, she had to count out what money she had kept for herself before wiring the rest of her paycheck to her mother in the states.

She hastily pushed the currency into the calloused hand of the Scotsman behind the wheel, shoulder her backpack, and scooted out of the back seat of the taxi. The air was cleaner there in the country, miles away from Edinburgh, if not a little muggy from the morning fog that still lingered over the town.

Winchburgh was a charming village and perfect for shooting the remake of The Wolfman. The production team scouted for months to find a place that already had the perfect backdrop and possible sets for the shots they needed. Without much help at all, Winchburgh looked just like the village overlooked by Talbot Castle in the movie.

This was Josie’s first time abroad and she expected to have a sense of awe and wonder towards the place that was so unlike her home in Arkansas. But Scotland had taken her breath away in ways that she couldn’t describe. It wasn’t just the fresh air, but the people and the rich history that seemed to scream at her from every street corner. The country had its modern conveniences, of course, but it retained its past well and Josie felt herself swept up in the romance of it all.

Even as she sloshed through the muddy shoulder of the road to make her way up to the cluster of trailers just outside of the village, Josie admired the pale gray sky above and the light breeze that was beginning to blow the mist down the rolling hills of farmland and away from the village.

Josie had wanted to make herself more presentable this morning, but three missed alarms later she had no time to fix her hair in her usual loose half-pinup style or even apply a basic application of mascara or eyeliner. Instead, she let her face go completely naked and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail while in the taxi, taming back her slightly wavy, chestnut brown hair that she normally tried to straighten first thing in the morning.

She wasn’t eager to look at herself in the mirror and see the hot mess that was about to greet the world. Despite her failure, Josie tried to remind herself that she was not the one the cameras wanted to see. It was her job to make the real stars look their best.

The set was already buzzing with activity as other makeup artists, costumers, script writers and assistants all scurried from one trailer to another. Some of the more important players in the movie making business, like Landon Torff – the director -, and Kirk Levins – the lead writer of the script -, were exchanging some heated words about how they thought the next scene should be shot.

Landon was a world renown director, as was Kirk. She put them on the same pedestal along with Alfred Hitchcock, Francis Ford Coppola, and Orson Welles.

Landon’s commanding leadership personality was truly a gift. Some may have read his demeanor as aggressive or demanding, but Josie knew better. She had been in the business of performance long enough to know the difference between guidance and cruelty.

In the same way, Kirk had a creative mind for storytelling. He knew what worked and what didn’t and how to keep the audience captivated. Josie had read the script just after accepting the job as the star’s makeup artist for the film. Not being a love of literature or prolific bookworm, Josie was amazed to find herself still awake at three in the morning, reading the screenplay.

Seeing Landon and Kirk butt heads in this way, considering their great talent and passion for the art of filmmaking, wasn’t surprising.

Josie slipped past everyone and made straight for the refreshment tent where a few frazzled crew members were setting out donuts, coffee, and other breakfast pastries for the team. Too focused in their task, no one paid her a single acknowledgment. Sometimes, she preferred it that way. She was involved in behind-the-scenes work for a reason.

After checking the time on her wristwatch – the same one she had been using since she was a freshman in high school with the worn and peeling leather band – Josie quickly poured herself coffee in a Styrofoam cup. She took even greater care in preparing a cup of Earl Grey tea, making sure that the water was the perfect, scalding temperature and that she stirred in exactly one and a half spoonful of sugar to sweeten the bitter taste. Josie never cared for tea, but she knew someone who did.

With a cup in each hand, she proceeded to the leading actor’s trailer situated on the far edge of the makeshift studio campsite. Josie tried to focus more on the warmth that seeped into her fingers from the cups that she was holding, rather than the anxious pounding of her heart beneath her rib cage.

Unable to knock, Josie took a steadying breath and tapped the tip of her shoe on the door, making the thin plastic and metal material rattle noisily.

“It’s open,” came the masculine voice from inside.

Josie’s face scrunched for a brief moment, wondering how she would manage the door with only a finger or two to undo the latch. To ask the great Rodney Bator to open the door for her was out of the question. Josie didn’t have the nerve to ask a man who had won so many Academy Awards and dozens more nominations, to take the time of day to open the door for someone who hadn’t even made her name in the movie industry yet. Especially when she was perfectly able to figure it out for herself. There was no reason to waste his time.

Being careful not to spill either drink, Josie worked the latch on the door and stepped inside. The trailer was a little larger than the rest, complete with a bathroom and sleeping area in case the star wanted to nap between shootings. The makeup vanity was lit and ready for use, but Rodney was occupied on the other side of the trailer where a small flat screen monitor was set up.

He was facing away from her, the back of his head just visible above the edge of the plush armchair that sat in front of the built-in media center in the trailer. It was a special request Rodney made when they were preparing his trailer. He wanted it so he could watch the original movie and study it for reference. Josie couldn’t help but admire his dedication to the craft.

“Good morning, Josie,” Rodney greeted as he always did. Despite the slight distracted note in his voice, Josie knew he was sincere. Rodney was always sincere.

Josie hooked her foot under the door and snapped it shut, isolating herself and Rodney from the rest of the world. She walked up behind the armchair and turned her attention to the movie. The original The Wolfman movie, starring Lon Chaney Junior was playing in black and white. The scene, she recognized, was from the beginning of the story long before any serious action had taken place.

“How did you know it was me?” Josie asked, her slight drawl giving away her southern roots.

Rodney finally turned his attention away from the screen and looked up at Josie with his piercing, but kind slate blue eyes. Even in the low ambient light of the trailer, they were hypnotic and bright. Maybe it was the stark contrast between his nearly gray eyes and short black hair that made him look so alluring.

It wasn’t any surprise that all the magazines back home rated Rodney Bator the sexiest man alive for three straight years in a row. His looks were reminiscent of the old movie days of Gregory Peck, Clark Gable, Errol Flynn, and Rock Hudson, with strong and masculine features like a square jaw covered in dark stubble, slender nose and a charming gaze.

Yet, there was always a gentleness about Rodney. He was the perfect actor for action movies and romantic comedies alike. He never needed a stunt double and had mastered every art of fighting for the sake of his method acting style. He could bash skulls into brick walls and tenderly caress the face of his co-star to make her swoon without needing to play the part. He was truly a work of art and as her mother said once, God broke the mold when he created Rodney Baton.

Working in the world of theater for so long, Josie had never known what it was like to be truly star struck. They had been working on this project for a few months now and every single day, without fail, Josie had to reel herself back into realty.

When she first saw Rodney sitting in his seat on the plane bound for Scotland, Josie had to contain her fit of squeals and giggles that wanted to rattle her body all the way across the Atlantic. Luckily, she had Natalie sitting in the aisle seat next to her, keeping her grounded until they could get to the hotel in Edinburgh.

For the first few days on set, it was hard to keep herself under control. The urge to burst into smiles while she brushed his cheeks with light powder was almost too much to bear. Slowly, the newness wore off and she could work with Rodney more professionally and they talked alone in the trailer for quite a while each day.

Sometimes, she wondered if he ever suspected that she had to stop herself from asking for his autograph every day for those first few weeks. And even though the excitement over the fact that she was working so closely with Rodney Bator had worn away, Josie still blushed when he treated her with unfounded kindness and respect.

Josie had to catch her breath before silently handing him the cup of tea. It was Rodney that she had wanted to look good for and God only knew what he thought of her now, standing in front of him looking like she had just rolled out of bed. While he looked perfect in his basic short sleeved shirt and pair of faded jeans.

Without answering her question, he grinned and showcased his pearly white teeth as he took the cup from her. “You know, you’re the only one who remembers that I don’t drink coffee.” He sipped quietly and Josie could see the satisfaction in his face. “All those drones out there try to give me energy drinks or coffee and I have to keep telling them to go take a powder.”

Josie couldn’t help but giggle. Another thing that made Rodney so endearing was his colorful use of older terms that few others on set might understand. On more than one occasion, they talked completely in slang and lingo from over seventy years ago and laughed hysterically afterwards. It was just another memory that Josie held close to her heart on those days when Landon was grumpy and Kirk wasn’t explaining his vision succinctly.

“I don’t normally have to be told something twice.” To keep herself from falling deeper into Rodney’s mystic eyes or handsome face, she lifted her gaze back to the television. “You’re watching it again?” she asked, feigning astonishment.

Rodney glanced back to the screen as well and propped his chin in his hand. “Yes,” he sighed. “We’re doing this scene today and I want to make sure I’m getting the feeling right. I know Kirk has his own mind about Larry and his personality, but I still want to stay true to the original.”

Josie shrugged and casually leaned against the back of the arm chair after dropping her backpack to the carpeted floor. “If there’s nothing wrong with it, don’t fix it,” she quoted the all adage.

Rodney peeked over his shoulder, flashing her another gorgeous smile. “Exactly… By the way, did you do something different with your hair?”

Josie pulled a face. “That bad, huh? I was running late this morning.”

“Not bad.” She saw his eyes briefly skim over her features and shook his head. “I always preferred women without makeup. It only gets in the way and hides the true beauty underneath.”

Rodney turned away to watch the movie and Josie tightened her lips together to keep her smile small and subtle, even though she wanted to burst into peels of childlike giggles. He didn’t blatantly say that he thought she was beautiful, but it wasn’t an insult either. And even thought she didn’t agree with is opinion, she wasn’t about to ruin this precious moment. Maybe she would let her hair be a little wilder from now on.

Josie had never worked with a better actor. Perhaps it was Rodney, but somehow, she felt like they truly clicked somehow. She hadn’t observed Rodney become so casual and informal with any other crew member, not even the director. Yes, he was friendly and amiable in his professional ways when on set, but Josie felt a real bond with him. Whether he felt the same, Josie was sure she would never know.

For now, they watched in silence as Larry Talbot spied on Gwen Conliffe from his conservatory at Talbot castle using his father’s new telescope. Even though Josie would have been eager for conversation, she knew that this was Rodney’s quiet time to study and fully form how he wanted to perform later. Far be it from her to interrupt a master at work, even if they were going to run behind schedule. She didn’t even protest when he skipped to the beginning of the scene to obsessively study it again and again.

She had been in his place once before. She remembered late nights spent studying lines and rehearsing them in the mirror repeatedly until her perfectionism was satisfied. Of course, that was a long time ago and that past life only served as a commonality she had with the professionals she had served over the last six years. It helped her to relate to her performers, nothing more.

When Josie had finished her coffee and Rodney was on his seventh replay of the scene, the director’s assistant entered the trailer, breaking the fragile peace inside. The assistant only stuck her head and shoulders through the doorway, her thin hair pulled back into a tight bun that was coming undone in the chaos that must have been going on outside.

“Josie!” she cried, out of breath. “We need you in Bianca’s trailer.”

Rodney didn’t flinch at the rude interruption and calmly paused the movie.

“Why?” Josie asked, trying to conceal her annoyance.

“Bianca’s makeup girl called in sick and everyone else is busy.”

Josie shook her head. “I’ve got to do Rodney’s makeup first. Bianca’s scene doesn’t come until later this afternoon.”

The assistant wasn’t amused. “Listen. Bianca wants her makeup done now and Landon is too busy with Kirk right now. Just get over to her trailer and do your job.”

Josie bristled and opened her mouth to argue, but felt Rodney’s hand settle on her forearm.

“Go on, Josie. I’m not going anywhere.”

With Rodney’s approval, all the fight melted into her shoes and Josie nodded. Regretfully, she slipped her arm out of his grasp, picked up her bag, and exited the trailer with the assistant. Not only didn’t she want to leave Rodney, but Bianca was the last person she wanted to work with this morning.

Rodney was the perfect movie star on the outside and amazing person on the inside, Bianca was a talented actress, but she was not about to win any personality contests. When Josie first met her, she thought Bianca had the pretty looks of Kim Novak. But when her mouth opened and words started coming out, she was more like one of the prissy popular girls from her sophomore class that used to spread nasty rumors about everyone across the campus.

Even before she opened the trailer door, Josie heard the high-pitched voice of Rodney’s co-star ranting away at a hundred miles an hour. She rolled her eyes and entered, quietly praying for strength to survive the diva.

“Oh, and you wouldn’t believe what she was wearing!” Bianca squealed, reeling in the stool in front of the makeup vanity. She was dressed in a silky, cream colored robe with a sash tied around her thin waist. To any man, she was the picture of seduction and modern beauty. One might have thought she was taken straight out of a Victoria’s Secret magazine and brought to life by lattes, hairspray, and sassiness.

When Josie closed the door, Bianca tossed her long, ice blonde hair over her shoulder and sneered. “Where’s Vanessa?” she asked.

Josie looked to whom Bianca was talking to and was relieved to see her friend Natalie, one of the head costume designers for the production. She was sewing something to one of Bianca’s vintage ensembles and looked to be enjoying the conversation as much as Josie would have.

Ever since they met in film school, Natalie was known for her passion to make everyone look their best. She graduated a few years before Josie, so she had been in the business for a little longer and climbed the success ladder just as quickly. They saw the potential in each other back then and clung to one another, despite their differing choices of professions within the movie business. And if it hadn’t been for that insight, Josie wouldn’t have been accepted to work on this project at all.

Natalie was an unsuspecting girl and dressed plainly in jeans and a shirt that showed off her tall and lanky frame. Her dark hair was pulled back away from her face in a messy bun behind her head and equally dark eyes peered through a pair of fashionable thick-rimmed glasses as her hands deftly worked the needle in and out through the fabric.

“Vanessa called in sick,” Josie simply stated as she set her backpack down and began to pull out her supplies.

Bianca scoffed. “I don’t know you. Couldn’t Landon get someone who actually knows my makeup?”

Josie gave her a fake smile. “Landon is busy at the moment, so his assistant sent me. I normally do Rodney’s makeup.”

“Like he needs it,” Natalie mumbled through the several pins that were stuck between her lips.

Josie just shrugged. She was right. Rodney was practically perfect and despite the occasional dusting of foundation just to even his skin tone a bit, he was flawless. Josie was mainly employed for later scene when Rodney would be acting as the Wolf Man or during scenes when he didn’t need to look so perfect.

“You got that right, girl,” Bianca crooned before continuing her harrowing tale of surviving some unwanted dinner engagement in Edinburgh the night before.

Josie assessed Bianca’s face, even though she wouldn’t sit still for very long, and began pulling out the foundations and eye shadows to compliment her complexion and dark blue eyes. When she finally had to direct Bianca to face the mirror, the actress looked to Josie with utter disgust.

“You better not get it wrong. Landon won’t be happy if my mascara clumps, you know.”

Josie bit her lips together to refrain from snapping at the spoiled diva. Instead, she picked up her tools and set to work doing what she knew best.

“Josie’s one the most competent makeup artists I know,” Natalie remarked as she finished up her sewing project.

Bianca gave a cunning smile. “Oh? And where did you learn how to do makeup? Some school?”

“My older sister, actually,” Josie replied with a matter-of-fact tone, as if every girl learned how to do makeup from their sister or mother at home. “But I did go to cosmetology school.”

Bianca turned in her stool and puckered her lips like she had tasted something sour. “How could Landon hire an amateur?”

Josie propped her hand on her hip, an eyeshadow brush still lodged between her fingers. “I also went to college for film production, so I know a thing or two about lighting and angles.”

The actress scoffed. “What does that have anything to do with makeup?”

“Plenty,” Natalie mumbled as she cut the thread on her product.

“It helps in applying the correct amount of makeup for each scene.”

Bianca turned back to the mirror, not convinced by either of them. However, she didn’t continue the argument and segued into something else. “So, you do Rodney’s makeup?”

“Pretty much,” Josie replied as she leaned in again to finish out Bianca’s right eye makeup, using quick strokes to get the right effect and blending them accordingly.

“Does he talk about me at all?”

Josie glanced over to Natalie who was hanging up Bianca’s dress on the other side of the trailer. She gave her friend a questioning look, but Natalie only shrugged and made a face while twirling her finger around her temple, giving that universal sign of “she’s crazy”. As if it needed to be said at all.

“Not really,” Josie said as she moved to Bianca’s other side and continued.

Bianca turned thoughtful, as if Josie’s answer was not what she had been expecting. “Huh… I wonder why not.”

It might have been dangerous to give her opinions, but Josie shrugged and said, “Maybe he’s trying to focus on his job.”

Bianca made a sudden move that Josie didn’t anticipate and poked at the actress’s eye by mistake. Bianca jerked away and covered her eye as if Josie had just plucked it straight out of the socket.

“What’s your problem!” she shrieked. “Maybe you should be doing your job too.”

Josie looked heavenward and bit back the foul words she wanted to say. “I’m sorry, Bianca.”

“Just hurry up and get this over with,” she snapped and resumed her straight and rigid posture on the stool. Yet, the evil look in her eyes told Josie that she was going to get a good tongue lashing from Landon about it later.

In turn, Josie rushed through finishing up Bianca’s foundation and blush, knowing full well that the prima donna would mess it up before her scene anyway and Josie would have to fix it within a few hours.

Natalie stuck around and waited for Josie to be done, then they walked out of the trailer together, leaving Bianca just as she was about to pull out her phone and take a few selfies for her Twitter followers.

“How can someone be that nasty and be as popular as she is?” Josie asked as they made their way towards Rodney’s trailer.

“She makes six figures a year or more and she’s pretty.”

Josie guffawed and rolled her eyes. “So, that’s the winning combination?”

“Well, maybe something to do with genetics too. Rodney’s not that way.”

“Thank the universe for that.”

In all seriousness, Natalie was completely right – again. Bianca and Rodney were nearly equals in the world of Hollywood and movie acting, but the former had let the prestige go to her head. Half of the time, Rodney never even acted like he had money. “He’s just a simple guy,” Josie added.

“If only the world had more guys like Rodney,” Natalie said. “Then maybe some of us single ladies would have a chance at happiness. Speaking of which, have you talked to your mother lately?”

Josie groaned. “Thank the universe for that too. You know, last time we talked she asked me if I had met any Scottish men in a kilt that I’d like to bring home.”

Natalie laughed. “She’s bent on marrying you off, huh?”

“That’s probably the only reason she even let me travel this far from home.”

“Does she know you’re working with the hottest man on the planet?” Natalie asked as they drew nearer to Rodney’s trailer. In correlation, Josie’s heart began to beat a little harder.

“She knows he’s working on the same movie, but she doesn’t know I’m doing his makeup. And I’m not telling her or I’ll get even more phone calls. She already asks about if I’ve seen him on set and gotten his autograph yet.”

“And you keep brushing her off and lying?” Natalie asked, sliding a suspicious glance her way. After so many years, Natalie hadn’t changed. Always the proper one and straight-laced when it came to dealing with people. Never offend and never assuming.

Josie cringed. “I don’t like calling it ‘lying’ per se. I’m avoiding the truth to save myself the hassle of dealing with Rodney’s number one, over-the-hill fan.”

“You should at least get his autograph for her before we’re done filming.”

Josie was the first up the steps to the trailer door and the first to walk through and see Rodney standing near the bedroom door with his shirt off. Even with his back to her, his form was magnificent. As he turned and displayed what a perfect male specimen he was, Josie realized how all those magazine photo shoots hardly did him justice.

Suddenly, she felt like Mary Pickford and wanted to faint dramatically like in one of the old silent short films. Looking at Rodney, standing there in his glorious half-naked state was just about enough to make Josie lose herself. Even though the air was cool, she felt heat run up and down the length of her back and the blood gushed south, leaving her a little light headed.

Natalie came up alongside her and stared. Rodney gave them a smug, closed-lip smile and reached for the white button down shirt slung over the seat of the sofa beside him. It was another part of his costume and as Josie’s eyes trailed downward, she now noticed that he was wearing a pair of vintage trousers instead of his jeans.

“Good morning, ladies,” he greeted as he shrugged into his shirt and began working the buttons to conceal his chiseled chest and abs. Only then, could Josie begin to focus.

“Good morning, Rodney,” Natalie spoke first. “You don’t need to get dressed on our account. Besides, you need to put on the undershirt before all of that.”

Josie was shocked at her friend’s attempt at flirting, but moved out of the way so she could pass and help Rodney find the sleeveless top that was supposed to go under his shirt. Hardly knowing what next to do, Josie set down her bag and envied the knitted cloth that fit snug across Rodney’s broad chest and slim waist.

“I was trying to save you the trouble,” he responded, either oblivious to the pass she made at him or unconcerned by it. He slid his arms back into the button-up shirt and made quick work of the vest in turn.

She turned away and realized her hands were shaking as she pulled out her makeup kits and placed them on the vanity. Some of the other makeup artists on the crew preferred to keep their tools in the trailers, but Josie had lost too many brushes in theater backstage dressing rooms to trust leaving anything on set over night.

“Did Bianca behave for you, Josie?”

Josie turned and met his fixed gaze and felt her stomach do a few more backflips before she could reply. “No more than what was expected. She asked about you though.”

Rodney’s brows pinched together over the bridge of his elegant nose in confusion. “In what way?”

It might not have been wise to gossip, as many of the crew were in habit of doing, but Josie could never lie to his face like that. “She asked if you talked about her a lot. I told her that you didn’t.”

Rodney huffed and looked to Natalie who was fiddling with a cuff button at his wrist. “I should have figured as much.”

“Why is that?” Natalie asked as she moved to his other cuff.

Rodney sighed, his chest heaving with one great breath. “She’s been… how should I say… presumptuous since the first day of filming. I indulged it for a time, rehearsing with her after we left site, but that’s all.”

Josie suddenly felt like she had been cheated on. Rodney spent time with Bianca after the cameras were off? She turned her back to them, trying to get a grip over her silly emotions. Her reaction was significantly disproportionate to his words.

What claim did Josie have over Rodney in the first place? She shouldn’t have felt jealousy when he didn’t belong to her in the first place. Nor would he ever. He was an actor and made more money in one month than she made in six. Josie always fell hard for the guys that were so far out of her class that they wouldn’t have noticed her if she wore a bright pink guerilla suit in the middle of a crowded subway station.

That thought sobered her dizzy head and she could think clearly for the first time all morning. Josie had a job to do and she was being paid for that alone, not to make friends with the cast and ogle at a shirtless movie star.

Natalie carried on some small talk about his costume and when Rodney came to sit in front of the vanity, he was completely dressed and ready for his scene. With the professional attitude of a heartless lawyer, Josie draped a cloth across his chest to protect the fabric from any loose product that might fall from her brush.

Since Rodney would be getting a lot of close shots in this next scene, Josie knew that she had to pay special attention to his makeup. It was pointless to look at the camera’s script for lighting and angles because Landon was notorious for changing the arrangements at the last minute, which usually frazzled Kirk in the process.

Josie kept her thoughts focused, but also distant from the task so she wouldn’t think about how close she was to Rodney’s face and how she was the only one permitted to touch his skin in this way and get paid for it. She had never considered doing someone else’s makeup to be so intimate before she starting working on this project.

She could vaguely tell some conversation was passing between Rodney and Natalie, but none of it seemed important enough for her to listen. Most of it consisted of Rodney asking questions about Natalie’s experience as a costume designer, all of which Josie already knew.

Natalie excused herself from the trailer rather suddenly, as if she had forgotten that she needed to be someplace else. This plunged both Rodney and Josie into an awkward silence, with only the feathering of makeup brushes and steady breaths to fill the void.

When Rodney’s gray eyes shot towards Josie, she wondered if he could see her face flush.

“Natalie is certainly good at what she does,” he said. Josie wondered, judging by his tone, if Rodney was looking for some mutual ground to talk about.

“I’m surprised you didn’t know any of that about her already.”

Rodney looked into the mirror at their reflection. “I don’t get much chance to talk to the crew. Landon and Kirk pull me in every direction sometimes.” He paused, mouth open as if he were considering his next words carefully. “I’m sure you’re the only one of the crew that I talk to on a regular basis.”

Josie wanted to feel flattered, but restrained herself with the cold, hard logic she had used before. She was just the makeup girl. No one special. “When everyone gets into the right groove of the filming schedule, you’ll have more time to talk.”

“I think there’s only four scenes in the entire movie that I’m not in. I’ll have little free time.”

“Some of the crew go out for a few beers at the Tally Ho Hotel after shooting. You could always join them.” Josie didn’t mean to make it sound like she was asking Rodney out on a date. She didn’t even mention herself or the idea that she would be at that small pub too – which she wouldn’t be, but somehow it came out that way and Josie wanted to hide under the trailer for it.

“I’m not sure that would be a good idea. It may give some of the crew the impression that I favor some over others.”

Josie felt she could breathe a little easier. If favoritism was a concern of his, she was in no danger of being singled out. Yes, they spent quite a lot of time together in this trailer alone, but if Rodney didn’t want to give the wrong impression, their association would stay professional in some way.

“That’s a good thought,” she replied as she took a step back and evaluate her work, making sure that any and all imperfections were carefully and naturally masked. Though, she had a hard time finding anything wrong with his face to begin with.

“But I’ll think on your suggestion.” Stunning eyes turned on her again and Josie had to look away to the vanity top that was nearly covered in makeup compacts and brushes.

“I think you’re all set and ready for the cameras,” she said, gathering up her brushes and sliding them into their designated slots in her foldup carrying case.

“I’m not so sure that I am,” he remarked as he tugged off the bib and walked away to retrieve his script. “I still don’t feel like I’ve got the right emotion down, somehow.”

Josie watched him study the script between his hands. “You watched that part of the movie, like, a dozen times. How can you not have it down?”

Rodney began pacing, his thumb sliding across this bottom lip. It was something he did when he was focused and thoughtful and Josie realized that he was completely serious. Her pulse quickened a bit as he stroked his perfect lips, wishing against her better judgement that it was her lips that he was touching just then.

Wanting nothing more than to be helpful, Josie left the vanity and crossed her arms over her chest. “What are you having trouble with, exactly?”

Rodney stopped and held out his hand as if he were waiting for the answer to fall from the ceiling. “Larry is looking through his new telescope in the middle of the day,” he read from the script. “He turns his sights on the town in the valley and spots Gwen sitting in her bedroom window. He’s intrigued and attracted to her. He then turns to leave the room with purpose.” Rodney looked up from the script. “Intrigued and attracted?”

Josie mentally pulled up the scene from the original movie and nodded. “Sounds right.”

“Yes, but to what level? Is it lust? Is it just a desire to meet her? I know how the rest of the movie goes, but what must have Larry been feeling at that first moment.

“Maybe it’s love at first sight?” Josie offered, one shoulder lifting shyly.

If this had been a cartoon, the lightbulb would have materialized over Rodney’s head and blinked to life. “Love at first sight… I like that idea. Why didn’t I think of that before?”

He rolled up his script to resemble a telescope and played out the scene.

It was not surprising that Rodney had won so many awards for his performance on screen. With very little effort, he could adequately portray the face of a man who was falling in love for the first time and so suddenly. And with one try, Josie knew he had the expression down even better than Lon Chaney Junior. If only the cameras had been crammed into the trailer for them to capture it.

“That’s perfect,” Josie praised when he looked to her for critique. And she didn’t say it lightly. She had seen plenty of performances and never once had she proclaimed them to be perfect. Adequate and good, perhaps. But never perfect.

“Are you just saying that because we’re running late?”

Josie smiled and shook her head with gusto. “No, really. That was perfect. I’m no Landon Torff, but I’d print that.”

Rodney grinned and unrolled his script. “Thanks, Josie. I appreciate that.”

One might have thought it was the best compliment Rodney had ever received in his entire career, the way he beamed back at her with eyes as sparkling as midnight stars in the countryside.

Landon’s assistant poked her head through the door, unannounced once again, face nearly beat red. “Have you been in here this whole time?” she cried. “You’re needed on the set, pronto!”

And then she was gone, slamming the door shut behind her. Josie quickly shoved her supplies in her bag in case she would need them and followed Rodney out of the trailer, savoring the clean scent of his cologne that left a trail behind him as he went.

 

Like this? Let me know in the comments and I’ll post the next chapter!

How To Survive The Holidays With Anxiety

The holidays are a stressful time of the year, but especially for those with anxiety disorders, introverts, or highly driven people who can’t take a breath once and a while. I don’t know about you, but once Halloween passes and I’m faced with the idea of having to socialize throughout the months of November and December, I want to just take a bunch of sleeping pills and wait until the new year comes. Or course, I can’t do that because I need to pay the bills, so I’ve learned ways to cope with the intense pressure of the holidays and I hope some of these tips will come in handy for you.

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1.) “You don’t have to get a present for everyone“. I’m a generous person. I love giving people gifts, even when there is no occasion for it. I tend to go above and beyond during the holidays and every year I tell myself that I won’t get EVERYONE a gift at my work Christmas party. I only have to bring one gift for the Dirty Santa gift exchange, and that’s it. But, what do I do? I end up finding something on Pinterest and think “Wow! Amber would love this!” or “Tracy could use this!” or “This is a fantastic idea for the warehouse crew!”. After a trip to AC Moore and Walmart, I end up spending nearly a hundred dollars in craft supplies to make them gifts instead of buying something premade that would have sufficed.

So, I’m here to tell you that you DON’T have to get something for everyone. Get a gift for your spouse, something they have wanted for a while. Get a gift card for your parents that they can share. That’s the key to couple-gifts. Give them something that they can share instead of individual gifts for each person. If you have a Christmas party you’re going to and they have a gift exchange game like Dirty Santa, Secret Santa, or a White Elephant style thing, just bring ONE gift. Even if you’re going to the party with your spouse. Just get one. Now, when all is said and done, you’re still spending a fair amount on gifts for the holidays, depending on how many parties you’re going to. But, you won’t be racking your brain, thinking of what to get the mail man, the obscure and quiet secretary at the office, your pharmacist, your boss, your cousin who is twice-removed and stuck in jail, or anyone else who may have even the tiniest influence on your life. Just breathe and figure out who is the most important. If you really want to get something for those marginalized people, you can’t go wrong with a nice store bought Christmas card.

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2.) “If you’re cooking, stick to what you know.” Along with a gift, sometimes you feel obligated to bring a dish to a Thanksgiving or Christmas gathering. Now, if they verbally say you can bring a dish, then you probably should. No one likes that eccentric uncle who brings a roll of crackers and devours half of the Thanksgiving spread. I’ve always heard the old saying that “If you don’t bring a contribution, you don’t eat.” It’s a little harsh, especially if you have no cooking skills whatsoever, and it’ll cause quite a bit of stress for the anxious person who doesn’t want to bring something for fear that it won’t be liked. If they don’t like it, there will be more for you to eat at home and it’s their loss.

These gatherings can also be a time for the over-achiever to show off by bringing six or seven different dishes to the party, hoping to impress their critical relatives. Now, my relatives are no critical at all, but when I was on my own for the first few years of my young adult life, I tried to legitimize myself as an adult by really turning out during the holidays. I remember making several different dishes in my tiny, cramped apartment galley-style kitchen, spending long nights and many days slaving over a hot stove to make these nice dishes from a Better Homes and Garden magazine. Yes, I impressed people, but it was an empty victory when only half of the dishes were eaten at the gatherings and I had to find a way to fit it all in my refrigerator. I have since learned that it’s not important to bring the whole feast, but one should at least put some effort into bringing something if it has been requested.

My advice is that if you are expected to bring a dish, bring one. But – and here’s the key – make something you know. All those dishes I made were brand new to me and it was extremely irritating to try and figure out how to “soften butter” when I never knew how to. If you make an amazing stuffed mushroom dish, bring that. If your in-laws love your potato salad and you can practically make it in your sleep, bring some of that. There is no reason to stress yourself out over cooking something completely foreign to you just because you think it’s expected. Once you free yourself of that false sense of expectation, the happier you will be.

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3.) “Take time to yourself.” Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to attend every Christmas party you’re invited to, especially if you have already been to six of them in the past two weeks and you’re burned out. You don’t have to attend every dinner, luncheon, breakfast, after-work drink parties or whatever else people invite you to for the sake of celebrating the holidays. You have an obligation to yourself and your sanity. If you’re an introvert and can’t handle being around a crowd for too long, then just say “no”.

Now, if you absolutely have to go to a family gathering because your momma said so, then that’s a different story. Go to those to avoid an argument, but as soon as you’ve had enough of the conversation, eating, and gift exchange, leave. Leave when you want to instead of when someone says you can go. Also, try doing some enjoyable activities before and after the gathering/party to help charge and recharge yourself so you don’t bottom-out.

Furthermore, if someone tries to coerce you into having a party at your house and you don’t want to, learning the simple answer of “no” will come in handy. No one can make you do anything. If you want to host the party and you feel you can handle it, do so. If not, or if you feel you have too much on your plate this holiday season, then don’t. It’s as simple as that. And if anyone tries to guilt trip you into hosting the family party, ignore them and their negativity. If you give a perfectly good reason for not attending or not hosting and they get upset, that’s on them and not on you. You need to take care of yourself first, then worry about everyone else.

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4.) “Don’t compete with the Jones’.” I touched on this when talking about bringing too many dishes to show off or compete with your family and friends. The same concept goes for decorations and “Christmas Spirit”. I see this all the time. Neighbors will compete with one another on who has the most lights up or who has their yard cluttered with Nativity and Santa decorations. Or, perhaps you know someone who has to say “Merry Christmas” to every person they pass on the street or goes over the top with their Christmas spirit by wearing a Santa hat everywhere they go. I know I’ve already seen some cars decked out in reindeer horns and Rudolph noses stuck to the grill.

If you feel led to do these decorations because YOU want to get into the spirit, that’s fine. But, don’t feel like you’re obligated to have the prettiest tree on the block shining through your living room window, or have so many lights along your roof that passengers on airplanes can see it from the air. The only reason you should put up decorations is to satisfy your own need to be festive, not to compete. We didn’t even set up a tree this year because we would be out of state for the holidays and there was no point in decorating if we weren’t going to be around to enjoy it on Christmas. As a result, I didn’t have to yell at my husband to get the tree down and I didn’t have to waste an evening decorating. Instead, I was able to spend that free time writing and doing the things that matter to me. It wasn’t a big deal to have the tree not there, because the holiday spirit doesn’t revolve around an object to me.

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5.) “Celebrate the holidays your way.” There are thousands of different traditions out there and of course, we grow up with a certain routine that we may or may not keep into adulthood. Marriage can prove a little complicated as you two try to merge traditions. In my family, Christmas and the holidays were a major deal. You made the rounds to all the grandparents’ house, you eat everything that was on your plate, watched Christmas movies all month long, you were patient and got tons of presents. My husband, on the other hand, was raised very differently. He got maybe one or two gifts from his parents, a card from his grandparents that may or may not have money in it, drove around singing Christmas carols while looking at the Christmas lights on the neighborhood houses. They had a very low-key Christmas, while my family was big into tradition and centered around aspects of the holidays that everyone knows.

So, when navigating exactly what you will or will not be doing for the holidays, don’t stress. If you want to count down the days by opening one gift each day of the month, then do it. If you want to simply light a fire and roast marshmallows on Christmas Eve night, then that’s fine too. The holidays are what you make of it, not what others may expect of you or what society says you should do. Traditions are personal to each individual and the more you do what you want to do, the happier you will be. And if you forget or skip a tradition, don’t sweat it. Everyone gets busy and that’s a perfect excuse.

 

So, as I navigate through the hectic holidays, I hope my list helps to give you a little more insight on how to survive. Greet the new year with calm and joy, not craziness. Goodness knows we all need a fresh start after this kind of year.

I’m not dead…

So, I’ve been quiet on the radar for a couple of months.

Let me start by saying: school is hard. I’m going back to college to get my associate of arts degree and I’ve only had one class (Psychology) and it was running me ragged for the better part of October and all of November. Although I learned a ton of useful information for my later novel, “Lunatics”, it was a hard class. Every day, I was busting my butt to study, take notes, and quizzes. I finished up my last online test a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been able to breath for a while. It was a fast track course, so I can’t really blame it for being difficult. I passed with an A, but the way. Off to a good start.

In other news, November was National Novel Writing Month and I won it again. I started my novel, “Silver Screen” and knocked out that 50k word count within 26 days, 4 days ahead of schedule. I didn’t finish in record time like I did with “Passions” last year, but given how much I had to do in November, this was a big deal. I wrote at least 2k words every day, studied a chapter in psychology, and spent an hour working out. Not to mention, I was working hard to get some family photos scanned into the computer before December rolled around.

But I haven’t stopped with the 2k words per day. I’m still working on “Silver Screen” and as of this morning, I’m at 70k words and started chapter 16. Just two more to go and I’ll be done. January will be spent editing it and then I’ll be able to get back to writing “Beast Within”.

I have declared 2017 to be “The Year of the Books”. I’ve already planned out my months and I’ll be setting a personal goal to complete at least 6 novels by the end of the year. That means writing 2k words, consistently every day, and then spending a week or so in editing.

I do regret to inform you that unless my financial situation or author-career changes in 2017, “Beast Within” will be my last published work to complete the Loup-Garou trilogy. I’ve done a lot of soul searching on the matter and learned that I love to write, but being an author is a little more stressful than I’d like. A professional edit (which I would desperately need) costs more than we can afford at the time and my royalties are not bringing enough in to compensate. I’ll work on marketing my books in the meantime and perhaps one of the books will be available at the end of the year, but I can’t make any guarantees.

However, I will be posting some of my work here on my blog. If I find a particular scene to be well-written and worthy of public viewing, I’ll post it here for anyone to read.

Now, what’s in the forecast for the month of December? I’ll be writing, working out (losing all that weight I gained over the last couple of years), and spending time with family for the holidays. I’m very excited for the coming weeks and I’ll try to keep posting on here every once and a while, whether it’s book excerpts or general blogs.

If I don’t check in later, I’d like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Make it a good one, guys!

Colorado Wolf and Wildlife Center

 

 

So, back in May (yes, I know this is so delayed), my husband and I got to take a trip to Colorado Springs. He had been to the state a couple of times during his childhood, but I had never been except for the few hours when I had to catch a connecting flight somewhere at the airport. I was prepared for a red, barren, parched desert kind of climate. I was pleasantly surprised when Colorado reminded me a lot of Oregon.

The mountains and plains were gorgeous and if it weren’t for the hassle and uncertainty of employment, I would totally have suggested we move there. We were visiting for the weekend to celebrate my brother-in-law’s graduation from Charis Bible College and my in-laws proceeded us in the trip, driving the entire way.

When I found out we were going to Colorado, I immediately did a happy-dance because #1 on my list was to visit the Colorado Wolf and Wildlife Center, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

I picked our hotel carefully, making sure that we would be a fair distance between the college, my in-laws’ hotel, and the preserve. That landed us in Manitou Springs around Pike’s Peak and the best hotel to stay in was The Cliff House at Pike’s Peak.

Hands-down, this has been the best hotel I have ever stayed in. The service was outstanding. Even the valets were attentive and friendly. The history of the hotel didn’t play much of a factor in my choice of hotels, but I was blown away by it nonetheless.

The hotel was built in the winter of 1873, starting out as a 20 room boarding house for travelers and miners drawn to Manitou Springs and Colorado Springs. Many of its first boarders were trappers and hunters. Later, it became a prime vacation spot for people such as Thomas Edison, Charles Dickens, Clark Gable, Ferdinand Crown Prince of Austria, F.W Woolworth, and many more. The hotel’s halls have display cases of artifacts and herilooms spanning the last hundred and forty-some-odd years since the hotel has been standing. The suites are named after various special guests that had stayed there, such as the P.T Barnum Suite, Teddy Roosevelt Suite, and Henry Ford Suite.

Every turn, I was gapping at the fine decorations, the curtains, the vases, the mirrors on the walls, and when I found out we had been upgraded from a Deluxe Suite to the General John Pershing Suite, I nearly squealed. The room was stunning with its high ceiling and antique furniture. We had a roundish room, so I knew we were positioned in one of the corner towers of the hotel that overlooked Manitou Springs. The bathrooms were fully renovated and featured a tiled shower with body sprayers. I wasn’t too fond of the feature, but my husband loved them. Not to mention the towel warmer rack and the butt-warmer on the toilet. I think I spent nearly thirty minute fawning over the room alone.

A breakfast was served every morning in the dining hall. I was not disappointed. The breakfast buffet boasted gourmet dishes that all tasted fantastic. We were even served hot coffee at our table. The dining hall was also breathtaking, with its tall windows and ornate door casings, crown molds, and other finishing flourishes that gave my husband (trim carpenter) way too many ideas. I admit I got a little spoiled with the white-glove treatment and we had only been there one night!

On our first day in Colorado Springs, we went to The Garden of the Gods with my in-laws. The Garden of the Gods is a national park with free admission to the public to drive through these 300 foot tall sandstone rock formations. I’ll be honest that my first thought was “It’s rocks. I can see rocks at home or on the computer”. No, you can’t see rocks like these at home. It’s really an experience to see these wonderful, nature-crafted landmarks in person. My husband and I had a blast climbing up where we could (and yes, you’re allowed because everyone else and their dogs were doing it). I hadn’t climbed like that since I was a kid and I’d love to do it again.

After browsing through the two gift shops and visiting with family for a while, Jared and I ventured off to the Manitou Cliff Dwellings just about a mile from our hotel and wandered around in ancient, primitive homes of the natives to Manitou Springs. The walk was short and insightful. My husband got a few inspirations for his roleplaying game system that he’s being toying with for while.

That evening, we ate dinner at the hotel and I was blown away again by the outstanding service and incredible food. I stretched myself and ordered the Elk steak. I have never had a better steak in my life. It was so tender and succulent. We later brought my husband’s parents and his brother to the restaurant on our last night in Colorado so they could experience that kind of classy dining.

So, on Saturday afternoon, we got to go to the Colorado Wolf and Wildlife Center. Y’all, I have been dreaming about a close encounter with wolves my whole life and I finally got it. Yes, this is surprising, given what I write about and the fact that there is a wolf preserve less than two hours from where I live.

We arrived early to the preserve, way up on the mountains in Divide, Colorado, and browsed some of the gift shop before the tour started. Much of what the tour guide told us, I knew already. Wolves are an endangered species, hunted to near extinction in North America and they are just now starting to make a comeback in the mountains of Utah, Idaho, and Montana. Many of the wolves that the preserve rescues were previously adopted by college students who couldn’t accommodate the high protein diet that wolves need, nor handle their wild nature in their tiny cramped apartments. Others were taken from other organizations that used wolves as tourist attractions or photo sessions for anyone who would pay. They shelter Artic wolves, Timber Wolves, Mexican Grey Wolves, Coyotes, and foxes.

For the first part of the tour, we weren’t able to see any of the wolves in the enclosures, but as we progressed through and some of the volunteers coaxed the wolves out with meat, we got to see the wolves in all their glory. Pictures and nature photographers do not do them justice. If you love wolves and have not seen them in person, even behind the safety of a fence, I highly encourage you to take the opportunity. They are beautiful, majestic animals and it’s a shame that they have earned such a bad reputation in the history of man.

But, the highlight of the visit was when we paid an extra donation to actually get INSIDE the enclosure with the wolves themselves. They were much larger than I expected them to be, and behaved somewhere between a dog and cat. They had the gait and appearance of a canine, with its love for meat treats. But, if they weren’t interested in you or the treat, they had a mind of their own and wandered off after they got bored.

The photographer on staff there took our photo with Keyni and Kekoa. I don’t look the greatest in these, but the wolves outshined me even on my best hair days. I will always remember the way their golden eyes looked up close. If I didn’t love wolves so much on a personal level, this would have been the best chance to do research for my novels. But, since I have loved wolves since I was a baby and learned how to say the word, this was probably the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life and I don’t know what else could top it besides having a baby… But this wasn’t painful at all, so this still may be the best moment of my life. I’d gladly go into debt visiting this place every day. Glad there’s a preserve so close by at home.

My Vampire Novel, “Passions”, Now Available on Amazon!

So, I wasn’t offered a publishing contract from Kindle Press via Kindle Scout. I just didn’t have enough nominations and that’s probably my bad for not advertising well enough. Such is life and we learn from our mistakes.

But, that wasn’t going to stop me from publishing “Passions”! It is now officially available on Amazon Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and in print! Go check it out!

Chloe returns to her childhood home after her aunt passes away to claim a cabin in the mountains that has been passed down through the family for generations. In fact, her ancestors were some of the founders of Carter Lake, Georgia. Leaving her big city life in Atlanta, Chloe hopes to finally pursue her life long dream of becoming a writer. With the secluded cabin as her base of operations, she’s eager to start her new life. But she’s rattled by some rumors in town that her cabin is haunted. The rumors are confirmed when she finds a beautifully hand written note critiquing her latest novel in progress. Thinking that this is an intruder, she takes extra measures to secure her home. But the letters keep coming. Under the impression that her secret correspondent is a ghost, she does a little research and finds out a man by the name of Gavin lived in the cabin before her family, and possibly built the original structure. One night, after taking a bad tumble outside of her cabin, she meets Gavin in person. But he is anything but a ghost. He’s very real and very much a vampire living in the basement under her home. As she comes to know Gavin on a personal basis, she learns that he is not an evil vampire like in the movies, but one that abhors his own existence and wants his humanity back more than anything. Also, he was once an aspiring author, just like her. Together, they strive to cure Gavin of his vampirism and make sure her first novel is a best seller.

Trailer:

 

Werewolf Myths and Legends of Antiquity

Moonstruck Wolfgirl

So, werewolf stories have been around since oral tradition became a thing. They were scary stories to tell children to get them to behave, or warnings to God fearing Christians to keep away from anything having to do with the devil. Sometimes, however, the werewolves of these stories weren’t all bad and some actually did good deeds for humans. Here are just a few ancient tales of werewolves from around the globe.

King Lycaon – In the land of Arcadia lived a ruler known as King Lycaon. In the beginning of his reign, he did many good things for his people like erecting temples and monuments to the god Zeus and introduced culture to his people. After some time, however, Lycaon and his sons began to neglect the faith that they started out with. Zeus decided to test Lycaon after hearing rumors that the king was becoming a terribly tyrant…

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Sneak Peek into “Passions”

Nominate my newest novel, “Passions“, on Kindle Scout today to potentially earn a free copy! In the meantime, here’s a sneak peek into chapter 14

 

The cabin was filled with a warm, dense intensity that even made Chloe feel a little breathless.

“I know what you mean.”

“You do?” Chloe caught the surprise in her own voice.

“Yes. Do you know what it’s like to dream the same dream every night and wake up to realize it might never come true?”

Chloe swallowed hard. “Yes. This may sound crazy, but I always feel on edge when you’re not around. It’s like–”

“Like I want you to be there when I turn the corner but hate the agony of realizing you’re not there.”

She didn’t understand why, but Chloe’s fingers had a difficult time typing out the words correctly.

“Exactly. You’re just saying all of this to make me feel good, aren’t you? You don’t really know what this is like. I’m just wasting my time,” Chloe recited. “Alleia turns and tries to walk away.”

“Ben takes her arm and turns her around. ‘No. I’m not just saying things. I might have before, in the past, but not now. I think about you. I dream about you. I’ve talked Spike’s floppy ears off every day about you. You say I don’t understand, but I do. You don’t know how much I do.’”

Chloe detected the breathy tone as if he were reaching his own breaking point. She turned to make sure Gavin was alright and saw him standing much closer to her than he had before. Now, with his feet firmly planted at the end of the sofa, she could see the odd mix of terror and conviction in his eyes.

He was really getting into character.

She turned back to the computer and typed out more narrative, mirroring Ben’s expression with Gavin’s.

“Alleia is a little shocked and says, ‘I had no idea.’”

“I’ve spent so much time perfecting this stoic appearance. I never wanted you to know because I had no idea if you felt the same way. You’re shy and abrasive sometimes, but that’s what I adore about you. I’ve never met anyone like you in my whole life. Other girls are flimsy and weak, so shallow that they could be mistaken for a wading pool. But you’re like a drinking well. Deep and sometimes dark, but I long to see how deep you can go, and if you’ll permit me, to refresh myself in your soul.”

Chloe held in her grin, pressing her lips tight together as she tried to type out his speech as quickly as she could. This was getting good. Now she was glad that she got Gavin’s input on this scene rather than conceal it from him.

“I didn’t know you were so poetic.”

“There are many things you don’t know about me. And every day that passes, I want to share everything with you. I’ve never been more candid with anyone. But I get the feeling that you don’t care to know. You sometimes act like you don’t want to have anything to do with me.”

“Alleia shakes her head,” and Chloe did too. “No, that’s not it at all. I want to know more about you. I have from the very beginning. I just didn’t know how to talk to you, how to communicate.”

Chloe heard Gavin take a few steps forward. “I’m always here for you. You say the word, I’ll be there, and we’ll talk all night and all day if that’s how you want it. I can’t stand to be parted from you; to have you leave me, as everyone else has. I can’t stand the loneliness anymore.”

Suddenly, the truth of their conversation dawned on Chloe.

Ben had a family, he had friends, he had a pet dog, and coworkers that would fly to the moon and back for him. What Gavin said didn’t match up with his character.

Gavin wasn’t playing anymore.

Chloe turned in her seat to meet his emerald gaze, fierce and full of an emotion that she hadn’t seen before. Unrequited longing for the one he looked upon now.

She opened her mouth to stop him, to break whatever spell it was that she had inadvertently cast on him. But he didn’t. He only continued on, his words tumbling out a little faster than before.

“Before, my world was dark and full of death and despair. I didn’t want to continue that way. I couldn’t take the silence, the loneliness. I needed someone. And then you came. It was as if the sun had come back after centuries of night, but you didn’t burn me. You stayed and accepted me. You gave me hope. I could never repay you for the miracle you’ve worked for me.”

Chloe somehow found the strength to stand, and she rushed towards him, hands raised to stop his mouth from confessing anymore. It was too much.

Gavin grabbed her wrists before she could. “Please, Chloe. Don’t turn me away now,” he begged.

Where was this coming from? Gavin had never led her on to suggest any of this was truthful. How long had he been playing himself and not Ben? What he said about keeping up a stoic face, was that Gavin? It was convincing enough.

But how could this man, this vampire, stand in front of her like this with such a pleading expression, asking her for the thing he must have been craving for centuries—a friend, a companion, someone to love and protect. He didn’t have to say it for her to read it in his eyes.

Chloe felt confused and troubled all at once. Never had a man thrown himself at her like this. Brent never did. Their relationship was slow, gradual. It was months before they really opened up the way that Gavin did now.

The longer she stared up at him, her eyes wide with fear, she realized that this is what she had wanted all along. She needed Gavin just as much as he needed her. But where was this terror coming from? Was it fear of the future? The present? His past? Hers? How far would this go? How could it work?

In a moment of reckless abandon, Chloe denied the doubt and fear. She wanted to be the woman Gavin deserved. Chloe knew she could never replace his late wife, but he wanted her to try. He wanted her.

And then, it was like the floodgates had opened. Before Chloe could stop herself, desperate tears and words poured out.

“I could never reject you. Yes, I was scared at first. But it wasn’t necessarily of you. I was scared of how I’d make it through this whole thing in one piece. I don’t want to be hurt again. I told you how Brent used me and helped to destroy my life. Now, at rock bottom, I didn’t want to chain myself here.

“This was supposed to be my new life, my new adventure. I was going to start fresh and make things right again. When I found you, I thought maybe I was about to get on the same train I should never have gotten on in the first place.”

The tears flowed a little heavier now. “I feel things for you that I never felt with Brent. I don’t even know if this is right. All I know is if you left me today, I don’t know how I could recover.”

Gavin reached out and used his thumb to wipe away the moisture on her cheeks. His touch was soft and warm. “I will never leave you, as long as you still want me here.”

Chloe felt intoxicated by his words, entranced by his nearness and everything he was. “I will always want you here.” Then, an unwelcoming thought entered her mind.

This was all happening so fast. How had they gone from mere friends to declaring their deepest feelings for one another? It wasn’t natural, but it still felt right somehow.

She said, “Are you making me feel this way?”

Knowing that Gavin could do such remarkable things as healing her twisted ankle, make an entire household fall asleep, and make her as immobile as a deer in headlights, it wasn’t a far-fetched idea that he could plant ideas in her head to mold the situation to his liking. He might be able to make her fall for him so fast that she wouldn’t know how it happened.

Gavin shook his head. “I can’t control your mind. I can only control your body in some ways.”

She knew he spoke the truth.

Chloe didn’t understand how it had come to this, and somehow, she didn’t care. The way he looked down at her, with such affection and need in his eyes, she could have died now and gone contented to heaven.

But Gavin decided to give her one more thing.

Werewolf Myths and Legends of Germany

Moonstruck Wolfgirl

Now, when reading these little fables, keep in mind that Germany – or the Germanic nation – was actually fairly large and took up a lot of land in Europe, including Poland and Slavic areas. So, some of these stories may be Germany, but others may be Polish in origin.

The Werewolf Who Ate a Colt – There were once two herdsmen and one of them possessed what was called a “wolf strap”. If a human donned the wolf strap, they would turn into a werewolf. This wasn’t necessarily frowned upon in this culture, because the wolf strap was a way for people to go out hunting as a wolf, which was more efficient. But, it just so happened that these two herdsmen grew drowsy after tending their herd for hours. The one who possessed the wolf strap fell asleep while the other pretended to fall asleep. The awake herdsman…

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Werewolf Myths and Legends of France

Moonstruck Wolfgirl

We take a detour from my regular fiction posts to reflect on different werewolf legends and myths from the French region of Europe. Instead of being called “werewolves” which is more of an English/German term, they were called Loup-Garou, which in literal translation is Wolf-Man. The height of werewolf related murders was in the 16th century into the first quarter of the 17th century. Over that span of 100 some-odd years, it was believed that over 30,000 individuals were killed by werewolves or people suspected of being werewolves.

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Who is Who in a Wolf Pack?

Moonstruck Wolfgirl

So, just about everyone knows the roles of Alpha and Omega in a wolf pack. It conjures images of a big buff wolf dominating himself over the other wolves and the tiny omega being picked on by the rest because it’s weaker. This is a false image that society created. Wildlife researchers never knew how complex the hierarchy of a wolf pack until recent years. The average wolf pack size ranges from eight to twelve wolves from a single family unit.

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