Sparkle the Designer Cat's Blog, page 406

In With the Outtakes (Plus a Few Handy Tips)

My human stumbled in from her MeowWorld weekend to find the house cold and the heater broken. Plus she’s exhausted so I thought I would go easy on her and just ask her to dig up some outtakes to share today. It’s been a month since the last batch and quite a few have piled up! I even have some tips for you, so I think it is a good way to start the week!

As you know, I am always practicing good faces for when I am being judged at a cat show. Here is another no-no — no parlor tricks! Judges are not impressed when you show them you can curl your tongue. Also it’s important to make sure there is no food on your nose… but it’s your human’s job to make sure that does not happen.

One thing that does appeal to everyone, whether they are a judge or a regular human, is the kitten head tilt! But there are times when you can take it too far, like I did here.

I was not being a diva about having to wear last season’s dress. Honest!

When a blogging kitty reviews treats, it is important to show lots of enthusiasm if the treats are good… but you have to be careful not to be too enthusiastic. Being vicious does not make treats look delicious. (Somebody told me that if it rhymes, it is easier to remember!)

Speaking of delicious — I was not planning on eating that toy, no matter what my face says.

Did you know that I am training to be a super hero? I am learning a new power: how to stretch my body into epic proportions!

Lastly, my human brought home some Halloween costumes that she found on sale at PetSmart, and every last one was a fail! This was the only one that even got photographed. Isn’t it the most awkward-looking thing ever? I think those appendages in the back were supposed to be wings. It was really uncomfortable looking. I tried to be game about it, but if you look closely, you can see I think it was a really dumb idea.
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Sunday Catinee: Kitty Chemistry

There is a new cat film series called Super Epic Cats, featuring fiery Persian cats with special powers. In this episode, their second, one cat learns about better living through chemistry when he aspires to a prime spot on top of the refrigerator. Find out the formula that gets him there below.

If you can’t see the above video, click here to watch it on YouTube!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

The Caturday Report: The Cats and Non Cats Edition

Most of this week’s Caturday Report is fun and fluffy, but I included a couple of serious items, including a non-cat focused post that I think is a must-read.

Here is the week in review!

I think everyone will agree that one of the most exciting things that happened was seeing Waffles from Glogirly.com star in a Mashable story about brunch etiquette!
E! Online must love us kitties because they feature us often. This time, it was all about the weird and embarrassing habits many of our humans have.
Who drew a cat on Google maps for all to see? I’ll never tell!
The Pawesome Cats blog gives us some facts about FIV… and the fiction, too.
And lastly, most of you are familiar with Max’s column in Mousebreath. Usually he gives advice to other kitties, but this time he had something to say to someone who’s mother is dying that was so amazing that I had to include it. Thanks so much, Max.

My week had its ups and downs.

It started off with a Halloween hand-me-down. I was not impressed.
It did not dampen my spirits, though — I still was able to give tips on how to kill cat toys like a pro!
Have you entered my giveaway for The Best Cat Book Ever? You should — I have something cool just for my readers.
Guess who’s going to MeowWorld? I was surprised too… and not in a good way.
And I ended the week with a tale of a tail… a very fluffy tail.

If you see a good cat-oriented news item around the internet, send me a link and I may include it next week!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Fluffy Friday

Wow! Where did that tail come from? Is it really mine?

I remember when it was totally skinny. This was from back in July.

Now it’s all bushy and full! And it is not done growing. See the longest hairs? Supposedly most of my tail fur will grow out to be that long!

No wonder some show cats get an attitude! But there is an old kitty proverb: A cat’s ego should never be bigger than her tail.

So it is much better to keep your tail down and be modest and demure. Save the showy stuff for the judges.
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Off to MeowWorld!

My human is packing for MeowWorld, also known as the Cat Writers Conference, held in conjunction with BarkWorld! It’s in Atlanta and she’s even one of the speakers, and I am so excited!

She always brings an empty backpack because she knows she won’t be able to fit all the cat swag in her suitcase. I’ve only heard stories of all the awesome stuff she gets there — so much stuff that Sparkle always gave most of it away! And this time I’ll get to be the first one to see it all. So where’s my carrier and harness? I am ready to go right now!

Wait, what? I’m not going? Atlanta is too far to fly for a kitty that has never been on a plane before? But it’s a non-stop flight!

I am so disappointed. At least my human’s boyfriend will be here to hang out with me and give me cantaloupe (I love cantaloupe, and my human hates it). And when he’s not here, the pet sitter will be here to stay with us and she is really nice. But it’s not the same as going on adventures and staying in hotel rooms. Maybe I can go next time!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Giveaway – The Best Cat Book Ever!

I guess you have seen some other cat bloggers talking about this book, The Best Cat Book Ever. But I bet you have not seen a cat blogger get dressed up to do it! Except now you have.

Honestly, I don’t know if this is the best cat book ever (personally, I think that might be one of Sparkle’s two books), but it is really fun! This human, Kate Funk, always wanted a kitty and eventually she wound up with AC, a handsome black cat with lots of attitude. And through a strange turn of events, she found out that he would wear outfits. So she spent loads of time creating elaborate (and sometimes not so elaborate) dioramas and costumes for him. And I thought my human was a little bit strange.

Here is AC as a Mexican wrestler.

Could it be? AC as Medusa? Wow!

AC is a bunch of different characters in the book — a princess, an indian, Gozilla, Count Catula, a lumberjack, Santa’s Elf and lots more! He and his human are really creative and this is a very cute book!

Sorry about the wardrobe malfunction, but I got really excited because I am doing something different for this giveaway! Yes, I have five copies to give away to anyone anywhere in the world and 50 cool postcard packs of AC, but with a twist. The marketing humans for St. Martin’s Press will be sending out the postcard packs and four of the books, but I had them send me one of the giveaway copies. So one winner will not only get the book, but also a little gift I will pick out and send along with it!

If you want a chance to win one of the books, enter using the Rafflecopter widget below. For the postcards, I will just pick names randomly from the comments. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book for review. Link to Amazon is an affiliate link, so I can hopefully make up the postage it will cost to send off my special copy of the book!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

How to Kill Cat Toys Like a Pro

Take that, you bad cat toy! You can’t get away from me.

Oh, excuse me! I was just having an innocent play session with one of my toys. Oh, who am I kidding? All cat toys need to be killed — that is why they are cat toys! But killing cat toys and doing it well takes skill and practice. I spend hours every day killing cat toys, so even though I am still just a kitten, I think I can show you some pro tips!

Here is the first tip: you must stalk the cat toy quietly and always keep your eye on it. The best way to guarantee that you actually kill the toy is by surprise attack, so you do not want to give it any warning. And you want to keep track of its every move.

Pause while you plan out your strategy. It is very hard to plan and move at the same time, and either the planning part or the moving part will suffer.

Then, when the time is exactly right, strike! The toy will never know what hit it.

As you can see here, Boodie is doing it all wrong. The cat toy can totally see her, and it will probably get away, or at the very least, she won’t get a clean kill. Or, worst of all, maybe the toy will feel sorry for her and just let her kill it. That is kind of humiliating.

I had to show her the right way to kill that cat toy!

See? She is doing much better now! I hope you got something out of my tips!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Halloween Hand-Me-Down

Remember when my human brought home this ridiculous skeleton harness costume and made Sparkle wear it? In fact, that blog post was exactly two years ago today!

Binga even had to wear the skullcap for a few photos.

And my human still had that costume buried away somewhere, so guess who has to wear it now?

As you know, I don’t mind wearing harnesses, clothes or costumes. But it does kind of bother me that my human keeps digging up these old things. It shows a lack of imagination. And a pack rat mentality. I am kind of disappointed in her!

I bet you didn’t know skeletons could give raspberries!

Note: This is not the last time you will see me in costume this week! I have a giveaway coming up that sort of begged me to dress up.
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Sunday Catinee: Life Is Better With Cats

I feel so sad for humans without feline companionship. Cat-less humans lead dull, meaningless lives — and this Buzzfeed video makes it glaringly obvious! Tell me if you don’t agree.

If you can’t see the above video, click here to watch it on YouTube!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

The Caturday Report: The With-Cat Edition

The news items I found this week all seem to involve humans doing something, well, human-like with cats! Some were fun, some were very serious.

You will see what I mean when you read what I have for you:

In a stunning display of ignorance, a doctor told his pregnant patient to stop feeding a feral colony and get rid of some of her six cats. Don’t worry, pet expert and advocate Steve Dale tells the mom-to-be it is perfectly okay to be pregnant, with cats.
As you know, cats and books go together like chicken and… um, chicken! And for today, which happens to be Hello Kitty Reading Day, MTV has some surprisingly astute book suggestions.
If you follow the I Have Cat blog, you know that a cat cafe is opening in Oakland, CA. But did you know there’s also one coming to Denver within the month? Now you do!
Do you have a busy kitty who could use a little direction for his energy? Maybe he could learn to run an agility course! The Playful Kitty blog shares some tips on feline agility.
Lastly and definitely not leastly, my pal Savannah has an awesome post about cats with cerebellar hypoplasia… because there are three of them in her area that need a home! They must be placed in northern California… please spread the word!

I had a busy week but don’t worry, I took lots of time to have fun!

I competed in a cat show while my human ran off and did other things, including attending a big benefit event for Stray Cat Alliance! My breathless report is here.
I learned that the Twinkle Chute Tunnel is really fun! Except for one thing.
I also took possession of the Ess, since no other kitty seemed to want it.
Although I am training to be a certified therapy cat, in reality, I believe all cats are therapy cats. I explain why here.
My blogging friend Coco the Couture Cat stars in a stylish new children’s book! In fact, this book was so fancy, I had to get dressed up to review it.

If you see a good cat-oriented news item around the internet, send me a link and I may include it next week!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!