Sparkle the Designer Cat's Blog, page 402

How to Discipline Your Human, if You Are a Cat

I have a very unpleasant topic to discuss with you today! And I’m afraid it’s one in which I am not very well versed. In fact, I am going to rely heavily on Sparkle’s notes. I confess, I am pretty bad about disciplining my human. I am a very easy-going kitty and I know I don’t discipline her enough! Sparkle would probably think I am spoiling her because I let her kiss me without getting mad and I eat whatever is put in front of me, even if I’m served something that’s not my favorite food. I even let my human give me baths and I don’t fight her. I can’t help it — I just want everybody to be happy!

But the truth is that humans can easily go out of control if you don’t train them properly, and part of that training involves discipline. You can’t get around it. Occasionally your human will display bad behavior. What constitutes bad behavior is different for every cat. I don’t mind wearing costumes, especially if I get toys and treats. Other cats may consider this a criminal offense. Some kitties hate being manhandled, kissed and hugged (for me, it’s part of my job). Trips to the vet, while often necessary, are grounds for punishment in the eyes of many cats. Being yelled at for scratching the couch when you have nowhere else to scratch — that is human misbehavior, no matter how easy going you are! So I guess we need to discuss discipline techniques. How else is a kitty going to keep her human in line?

Here are some methods to discipline your human, and how well they work — or don’t:

Washing yourself after being kissed/ fondled

Effectiveness: Medium

When a human touches you inappropriately (i.e., when you “did not want”), your first impulse is to lick all the human smell off so you feel like yourself again. And that is the right thing to do for human discipline because it also shows your disapproval of her behavior. The only thing is that humans often aren’t properly insulted by your grooming. Some really delinquent humans, in fact, seem kind of amused by it! So it only works if you have a really sensitive human whose feelings are easily hurt.

Passive-aggressive punishment (i.e., shredding something when you have been wronged)

Effectiveness: Low

Humans are not very bright. They will usually not be able to connect the dots between the bath you were forced into and the fact that you’ve unrolled every roll of toilet paper in the house. Or your leaping on the curtains after you’ve been told you can’t go outside. Oh, some smart humans will understand what is going on, but they merely think it is you who is misbehaving or “having a tantrum,” and they are still too obtuse to get that your actions are meant as punishment for their infractions. So if you feel like chewing the straps off a sandal because your human took you to the vet, do it for your own pleasure and don’t expect it to make your human behave better.

Attacking your human’s hand when she tries to pet your tummy

Effectiveness: Moderately high

Humans are best dealt with in a direct and to-the-point manner. When time lapses between the bad behavior and the punishment, as in the passive-aggressive tactic, they often don’t connect the two. So letting your human know right away that they have infringed on your space will work wonders for getting them to stop. The only problem with humans who rub tummies is that they tend to persist in this misbehavior, even after being disciplined time and time again. It’s like an OCD issue, and if we kitties were doctors and scientists, we would have already created a drug to treat it. As it is, we can only keep attacking the hand that rubs our tummies until it finally stops. The good thing about that is that once your human learns, she will generally warn other humans away from your tummy, no matter how temptingly it is offered.

(For the record, I love having my tummy rubbed.)

The back of disrespect

Effectiveness: Low to moderate

This is a cat’s go-to form of discipline when a human has done something to humiliate her. It’s good in that it clearly illustrates your displeasure. But it’s bad in that it doesn’t do a whole lot to stop your human from repeating her actions. Humans tend to think that the back of disrespect comes with the territory when they live with a kitty. They never consider that maybe they would not be subjected to it if they behaved better.

Ignoring and withholding of affection

Effectiveness: High

Kitties, if you really want your humans to suffer for their transgressions, this should be your go-to form of discipline. The longer you do it, the more effective it is. But you have to be strong and not give in right away, otherwise its impact will be lost. If you just ignore your human for a few hours, she may barely notice and will shrug it off. It won’t change her behavior. But if you manage to ignore her and even refuse to be in the same room as her for a few days or a week, you will really get to her. Your human will be begging you to be nice again. Just make sure you eat all your meals and do not hide — just walk away every time you see your human. If you don’t eat and you hide somewhere that’s not your usual getaway, she may think you are sick and take you to the vet — and that causes a whole new set of problems. Make sure she knows you are ignoring her on purpose, and it should be one of your best disciplinary tools.

So how’d I do? Do you have any other human disciplinary methods that work for you?
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

My Human Got the Animal Tale App – and Guess Who Stars?

Remember the ResQwalk app from a few months back? The same humans have a really cool new app for you! I am pointing to it right here on my human’s iPhone. It’s called Animal Tales, it’s free, and it contains a selection of short, illustrated stories — and you can make your own pet the star!

They started off with three stories, and keep adding more. My human picked this one to try out…

And she starred Binga! Well, I guess I didn’t have much of a search for a home anyway, and she kind of did.

You start off by uploading a photo of your pet from your phone (you can resize it right inside the app so the face fits right), and giving just basic details — name and gender. Then you are good to go!

The app does the rest! It creates a 16-page eBook that stars your pet.

Notice that this is a different photo than the original one my human uploaded? You can change the photo on any of the pages. My human wanted Binga’s head facing different ways, so that’s what she did.

As you can see, the original photo worked better on this page, so she kept it.

Once you are happy with the results, you can keep the story on your phone, share it… or you can order it in actual book form! It’s a 5.5″x5.5″ 16-page softcover book and it is $12, including shipping in the U.S. (shipping is extra elsewhere). And 20% of the profits go to help rescue animals — the same groups that benefit from the ResQwalk will get the donations from Animal Tales.

Binga was very excited to see her story in book form!

She read the whole book in one sitting! If you are going to make a book, my human suggests using one of the many photo editing apps to adjust the photos you use of your pet to look their very best. My human is a stickler about photos and lightened the ones she used for the book just a bit because Binga is so dark. So she was really happy with the result.

I really hope that being the star of her own book is not going to her head. She is already a little hard to live with!

My human says that for the next one, she is creating a story about me!

Right now, the app is only available for iPhone, but if you have an Android, don’t worry, they are already working on a version for you. It should be ready by Winter 2015, which is right around the corner!

Animal Tales has my cheek rub of approval! Their website gives you the download link.

Disclosure: I received compensation for writing about Animal Tales, but all opinions are my own. I only promote items I know my readers would like!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Sunday Catinee: The Hamperer

I had no idea what Cinema Sins was when I happened on this video. A little research led me to discover that it’s this guy who makes humorous videos explaining what is “wrong” with recently released blockbuster movies. But something often gets in the way of his work: Wallace the cat, whose secret weapon threatens to bring Cinema Sins to a grinding halt! Can you guess what it is? If you’ve ever tried to work at a computer with a cat around (which pretty much means 100% of you), you can probably guess.

Make sure you watch past the ad for their other video clips — Wally gets his comeuppance!

If you can’t see the above video, click here to watch it on YouTube!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

The Caturday Report: Kitty News Digest Edition

Science, entertainment, and holiday news  — this week’s Caturday Report has it all, and more!

Plus, as you can see, I had an assistant helping me put together this week’s report! So let’s get started.

Hollywood’s Golden Age had its fair share of feline celebrities, and a new book takes a look at some of these kitty luminaries (and some who merely basked in the light of human stars).
Humans who have had the heartbreak of seeing their cat suffer from end stage kidney disease will be interested in a scientific study, which has identified a new way to screen for this killer — and might eventually extend the lifespan of cats with kidney disease.
A New Zealand doctor is using scientific methods to ID, track, and rescue and rehome cats in an area called the Red Zone. Many thanks to the Dashkitten.com team for finding this item!
Want a happy cat this holiday season? Pay attention to these tips from Cat Wisdom 101.
And lastly, a story that may surprise you: The Cats Herd You blog looked into the statistics, and you know what? Giving a cat as a Christmas gift may not be a bad idea!

I’ve had quite a week, as you can see:

It started with my long weekend, during which I had a very eventful cat show!
I also found some really amazing cat trees to tell you about!
There was good Bird TV to be had…
And I curated a nice selection of cat beds.
We had rain! And can you believe my human took me out in it?
Lastly, I had a photo shoot for the holidays, and I have an eCard for you.

If you see a good cat-oriented news item around the internet, send me a link and I may include it next week!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

My Holiday Photo Shoot!

My human did a real, almost-pro photo session with me the other day! She set up a backdrop (well, it was actually the fleece blanket we nap on sometimes), and plush carpet (actually it was a tree skirt). I even had a stand-in (well, actually it was… nevermind).

I had to wear Santa stuff, but it was not too bad.

My human had fun ways of keeping my energy up.

One of the photos turned out so nicely my human put it on a card for my Zazzle store! (You can see other holiday cards featuring Sparkle and Binga here.)

It’s tiring being a model! My human said I looked too “floppy” in this picture.

This one was lots better… except the pom pom of my hat was too close to the edge to use for a card (something about bleeding edges, whatever that means). But it didn’t matter because…

I used it for my holiday eCard! Above is the large size.

This one is the medium size.

And this is the small size. Grab whichever one you want!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Rainy Day Thursday

Maybe you are wondering what I am doing on our front steps in the rain. So am I! California, where I live, has been suffering a drought for years, and this week was one of the rare times we had a real rainstorm. It rained on Sunday, and then for most of Tuesday and Wednesday. Since I have never experienced rain before, my human thought I might be curious about it. So she put on my harness and leash and took me outside while it was raining!

Well, I was not curious at all. It was wet, and I just had a show bath a few days before! I didn’t need to get my fur damp again!

Look at my little wet paw prints. Maybe this is also Thankful Thursday because I am very grateful I have a nice home and a roof over my head when it rains.

So can I go back under this roof now?

Like, seriously now?
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

An Especially Gripping Episode of Bird TV

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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Fancy and Cool Cat Beds

Hand me down beds. That’s all I’ve known since I first moved here. Can you believe it? My human couldn’t even Photoshop all the fur off of this one! So I came up with some suggestions for a new cat bed that I am passing off to my human. If your humans are doing some holiday shopping, maybe you can inspire them with these too! I couldn’t find the Buckingham Palace of cat beds, but some of these are pretty fancy! I included some practical ones too.

I think you get a lot of bang for your buck with this Curious Cat Cube! You get to sleep, play, and if you live with another cat, wrestle for who gets to be in the cube and who is stuck sleeping on top of it!

Here’s a good one for you kitties in cold climates: the Thermo-Kitty Deluxe Hooded Cat Bed has a removable hood for extra coziness. It also includes a 4-watt heater. When you lounge in it, the heater warms up to your normal body temperature — isn’t that great? Plus the removable cover is machine washable, because it is bound to get really furred up with all the use it’s gonna get.

These Felted Wool Cat Caves are awesome! Although I’m not sure about the description’s claim that “cats like wool because the odor of lanolin in wool is similar to the odor of the fur around the nipples of the kitten’s mother.” I just think it looks cozy. The one above is Medium, there are also Small and Large sizes and different colors if you hunt around a bit on the “Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed…” part.

Now we are getting into some of the really stylish (but not outrageously priced) beds! The Spoiled Rotten Small Round Pet Bed is from the Spoiled Rotten Classic Collection, and is vinyl upholstered over a wood frame, with a slip covered cushion to nap on. Plus it is made in the USA! It comes in a variety of styles, so you can probably find one to match your human’s decor… or your fur!

The Enchanted Home Pet Snuggle Bed is fully upholstered and features furniture grade construction… because why would a kitty want any less from her furniture than what her humans get? The zebra pattern speaks to your wild side and is perfect for kitties up to 12 lbs.

I’m not sure why this flowery looking cat bed is called the Spider Cat Bed and Lounge. But as you can tell, it is cozy and clawable, with a padded center. Great for kitties who prefer staying close to the ground, and it comes in a selection of colors if pink isn’t your thing.

With the Smucci Too bed system, you get to have a bed custom made to your very own personality! There are a bunch of different colors and patterns for you to choose from! Plus the minky covers are luxurious for the ultimate lounging experience. It looks and feels great… what more could a kitty want?

Kitties, you will not want to keep this bed to yourself! It’s so sleek and awesome, you will want to share it! The LazyBonezz Modern Cat Loft-Bed has a solid wood base with a high-gloss finish and Stainless Steel accents. The cushion is super-comfy and it’s sturdy enough for a wrestling match. It also comes in Espresso, for you kitties who want something other than basic black.

Disclosure: The links to the items above are all affilite links, and I get a commission if you click through and buy from these merchants. This helps pay for the time to curate these items and write the post. Plus, a kitty’s gotta eat!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Luxe Cat Trees – Updated for 2014!

One of Sparkle’s favorite things to do was shop around for high-end cat trees and post her findings! As you know from my many pet shop excursions, I like shopping too, so I am going to carry on this fun tradition. But you know what? You don’t always have to break the budget to get something cool.

Take my own castle here! It’s called My Kitty Darling Castle, and you can usually get it on Amazon for under $100! It’s perfect for small cats like me (I’m 6 lbs. and probably won’t get much bigger than 7). I use mine all the time. I’m often found napping in the bottom condo. You can also find other cool, creative products by the same company here.

If you have a slightly bigger budget, then maybe your kitty would like the Oak Cat Tree by Kitty Mansions! It’s not really made of oak, and honestly, it doesn’t really look like an oak tree either, but it’s got lots of platforms, brown sisal rope for good scratching, and fake leaves so you can pretend you are in a real tree!

If you want something that does not look so much like cat furniture, then you probably would like this classic, the Lotus Cat Tree! It’s modern and graceful and goes with the smooth lines of today’s sleek, minimalist interior design.

Here’s another sleek and unique design: the Curvynest Cat Tree! Even though it has a delightful spring when a kitty leaps on it, it’s built in a way that makes it extra sturdy. Plus it has awesome, cat-friendly curves, and fiber weaving for a satisfying scratching experience. It also comes in a larger size for bigger cat families.

The next several cat trees are really for the cat who has absolutely everything, so don’t faint when you click through and see the prices!

The Yin-Yang Cat Perch is a perfect window height so your kitty can catch some Bird TV when she is not meditating! The red and black are classic colors, but you can actually order carpet in a variety of hues to match your home, or your cat’s preference. You can also add sisal to the posts for a little extra cost. If you want to know what the characters mean, here’s the translation: “Sleepy kitty, soft bed.” Cool, huh?

Judging from my Facebook page, I have a lot of readers who are sci-fi fans, and the Roswell Cradle Cat Tree is for you! It’s 4′ tall, and has lots of places for your cat to nap, hang out and commune with aliens from a distant galaxy! Because your tree will be custom made, you don’t have to stick with alien green, and you can also have a sisal pole custom dyed to match the shade of carpet you choose. Since it is custom made, it takes 6 to 8 weeks to get to you. Don’t worry, I’m sure your cat will gladly except a holiday IOU!

Have you ever seen the film Little Shop of Horrors (the classic 1960 original, not the remakes)? This one made me kind of think of that, but don’t worry, the Cozy Orchid Cat Tree is perfectly safe for kitties and humans! It is 6′ tall and the many perches look like leaves, leading up to the bed in the center of the flower. Maybe your cat can pretend to be the voice of Audrey Jr. in Little Shop of Horrors and meow “Feed me!” Like the Roswell Cradle Cat Tree, this is a custom-made item that will take 6 to 8 weeks to land on your doorstep.

Calling this a cat tree is too modest. In fact, the Kitty Mansions humans call this impressive structure Buckingham Palace! At nearly 9′ high, 80″ wide and 44″ deep, it’s fit for a royal feline family. I just want to say, if I had this amazing array of pathways, cubbyholes, scratching surfaces and towers, I might not want to ever leave the house again! If your human reads the Skymall catalog like it is Miles Kimball and never shops anywhere less expensive than Neiman Marcus, then maybe Santa Kitty will have this on his list for you!

Disclosure: The links to the items above are all affilite links, and I get a commission if you click through and buy from these merchants. So if you know anyone who can seriously afford that Buckinghman Palace cat residence, send them over here!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!

My Long Weekend

While most U.S. kitties were taking off the long weekend and eating turkey, I was very busy!

Well, okay, I also had some turkey. My human brought it home from where ever she had Thanksgiving dinner. But I also had to prepare for a cat show on Saturday — my first as an adult!

It was a CFA cat show, and we spayed and neutered breed cats are referred to as Premiers. So I had to have a bath Friday. I also tried something new to get ready for the show. It’s called Primal Scream Therapy. Unlike the human Primal Therapy, we kitties aren’t trying to get rid of childhood trauma. Instead, we are embracing our primal power! You start off by thinking fierce thoughts, like I am doing above.

Then you open your mouth and send all your power out into the universe!

A kitty usually has to do this exercise several times to really get the full benefit.

I think it worked because I was feeling great when I got to the cat show in Glendale! The show had a “Cats In Hats” competition, so my human had me put on my pirate costume that got me first prize in Sammy’s Sam-O-Ween contest. I got Third Prize in the cat show competition! My human had to hold me onstage so she didn’t take any photos, but lots of humans took pictures. Maybe I will be able to dig one up.

I got a new toy while I was there! My human thought it was too pretty for me to destroy. I disagree — I think it looks very killable!

My human brings a lot of toys for me to play with during the show to keep my energy up. All exhibitors (humans who are showing cats) do this. But I have to be really honest — I’m not one of those kitties that plays a lot in the judging rings. I like to just stand there and pose and look pretty! The judges have to hold onto a lot of the more active (or squirmier) cats, but sometimes they just let me stand there, hands free because it is obvious I won’t jump down or try to run away. In fact, the last judge filled out my scoring sheet on the table next to me while I just stood there and looked at the audience with my tail up.

I guess my Primal Scream Therapy paid off because I finaled in 5 out of the 6 rings, and I even got a couple of placements that put me above cats that were already Grands! See, cats doing their first CFA shows as an adult are called Opens, and we are not officially Premiers until we are qualified in 6 rings. I did that at this show, so as soon as the results are entered at the CFA offices, I am officially a Premier. To become a Grand Premier, I need to earn 75 points — so it is kind of a big deal that I got those couple of ribbons when I was still an Open!

When my human and I got home from the cat show, there was a package waiting for me from Layla and the kitties at Cat Wisdom 101. They sent me a very nice gift, and a cute little orange kitty trinket to go with it!

It was a Hello Kitty T-shirt!

I don’t know why Binga wanted to pose with me while I wore it.

Maybe she wanted to try it on? Well, it is a little bit large on me…

I think she feels better now! Maybe she needs some Primal Scream Therapy.
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” Sparkle had answers to many annoying problems in her two award-winning books! Visit her author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of her awesome Dear Sparkle books!