David Gustafson's Blog: Bonjour Amigos!, page 11
April 7, 2017
What Next, Mr. Monkey Man?
Most civilized people, if they had a modern arsenal at their disposal, might also have considered launching a missile attack against Bashar al-Assad's lunatic regime after it had used chemical weapons against its own citizens.
The difference between civilized people and Mr. Trump Monkey is that they cannot reach deeper into their war quiver to pull out even more destructive weapons or commit thousands of ground troops to a conflict in a region that shares few, if any, common values with the American people.
The Monkey Man has the massive, All-American war machine at his personal disposal while Vlad the Impaler has his thumb on the Russian version from a much more convenient distance to the action.
The impending question is, now that you have expressed your outrage in kind, what next, Mr. Monkey Man?
Given the last half-century of American military incompetence, we doubt that anyone besides a few dunderhead generals with thunder on the brain have given the next step much serious consideration.
What next?
The difference between civilized people and Mr. Trump Monkey is that they cannot reach deeper into their war quiver to pull out even more destructive weapons or commit thousands of ground troops to a conflict in a region that shares few, if any, common values with the American people.
The Monkey Man has the massive, All-American war machine at his personal disposal while Vlad the Impaler has his thumb on the Russian version from a much more convenient distance to the action.
The impending question is, now that you have expressed your outrage in kind, what next, Mr. Monkey Man?
Given the last half-century of American military incompetence, we doubt that anyone besides a few dunderhead generals with thunder on the brain have given the next step much serious consideration.
What next?
March 24, 2017
Out of their Depth
The fundamental social contract of a modern society is universal health care.
First, Snoop Dogg Barry Obama, and now Mr. Trump Monkey have proven themselves incapable of delivering an intelligent healthcare package for America even though the Germans have been succeeding at this since 1883.
Give the numbskulls in both parties of Congress an assist with this national disgrace.
First, Snoop Dogg Barry Obama, and now Mr. Trump Monkey have proven themselves incapable of delivering an intelligent healthcare package for America even though the Germans have been succeeding at this since 1883.
Give the numbskulls in both parties of Congress an assist with this national disgrace.
March 19, 2017
Scarlett Johansson and a Broken Promise
The Bellagio poker room is surrounded by television screens. They stare down at you from every angle. You cannot escape them. The souless cyclopses are everywhere. They are after you. They flash every sports game imaginable and every bellicose, mega-decible idiot with the IQ of bubblegum to analyze the latest on field or off field drama with all the authority of a self-assured pathologist removing his gloves while an assistant is busy sewing up the quivering corpse.
When they break away from the game and the mega-babble, someone you do not know assures you that they are your new best friend and they want to sell you something you probably will never need.
My home is a quiet sanctuary where I never watch American television simply because it is too stupid for my cat and my smart little cat died years ago. I do watch some news and culture on German and Swedish web TV. The Bellagio poker room is the only time I ever look at American television.
As we speak, the college basketball playoffs are going on. Since I have yet to completely outgrow my youthful interest in basketball, I actually look up from time-to-time when the clock is running down and an upset is in the making.
In between timeouts, Madison Avenue tries to sell you a lot of useless stuff that will not improve your life or the life of your cat in any way shape or form. During one of these barking carnival displays, I found myself looking up at the trailer advertising the release of Scarlett Johansson's soon-to-be-released, "Ghost in the Shell."
I have yet to completely outgrow my youthful interest in Scarlett ever since I saw her stunning performance in "The Horse Whisperers." Way back then (1998), I thought that child had the potential to become a great actress when she grew up.
Unfortunately, that never happened. I do not think that Ms. Johansson broke any promises. The fact is, movies used to be a marriage of scintillating dialogue combined with an intriguing storyline that illuminated our everyday lives.
Modern movie dialogue has been replaced by sound effects. The storyline consists of little more than a cascading series of visual effects with little, if any, relation to the human condition.
Scarlett did not break any promises herself. It was Hollywood that shattered the great promise of her potential with mindless scripts constructed around sound effects and visual effects. "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and the fury, signifying nothing." Hope you like the popcorn.
When they break away from the game and the mega-babble, someone you do not know assures you that they are your new best friend and they want to sell you something you probably will never need.
My home is a quiet sanctuary where I never watch American television simply because it is too stupid for my cat and my smart little cat died years ago. I do watch some news and culture on German and Swedish web TV. The Bellagio poker room is the only time I ever look at American television.
As we speak, the college basketball playoffs are going on. Since I have yet to completely outgrow my youthful interest in basketball, I actually look up from time-to-time when the clock is running down and an upset is in the making.
In between timeouts, Madison Avenue tries to sell you a lot of useless stuff that will not improve your life or the life of your cat in any way shape or form. During one of these barking carnival displays, I found myself looking up at the trailer advertising the release of Scarlett Johansson's soon-to-be-released, "Ghost in the Shell."
I have yet to completely outgrow my youthful interest in Scarlett ever since I saw her stunning performance in "The Horse Whisperers." Way back then (1998), I thought that child had the potential to become a great actress when she grew up.
Unfortunately, that never happened. I do not think that Ms. Johansson broke any promises. The fact is, movies used to be a marriage of scintillating dialogue combined with an intriguing storyline that illuminated our everyday lives.
Modern movie dialogue has been replaced by sound effects. The storyline consists of little more than a cascading series of visual effects with little, if any, relation to the human condition.
Scarlett did not break any promises herself. It was Hollywood that shattered the great promise of her potential with mindless scripts constructed around sound effects and visual effects. "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and the fury, signifying nothing." Hope you like the popcorn.
March 4, 2017
Three Dimensional Paranoia
Mr Trump Monkey has now accused Snoop Dogg Barry of tapping his phone lines into Trump Towers without providing any evidence.
Has Mr. Monkey bought into the PC media spank wankers' lullaby that Snoop Dogg Barry is a three-dimensional force from the outer galaxy or is this just a reality star's street-food paranoia?
Sixteen years of Whacky Bush Doodle and Snoop Dogg Barry and now this...when we could have had Pilloried Hillary selling out the country bit-by-bit to the Saudis so that she and Billy Willy Dilly could live large in the Hamptons among the trust-funder pipsqueaks.
Oh well, "what does it matter now?"
Dwight Eisenhower's shadow from over a half-century ago looms gigantic over the stink of these little shit house maggots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gahL...
Has Mr. Monkey bought into the PC media spank wankers' lullaby that Snoop Dogg Barry is a three-dimensional force from the outer galaxy or is this just a reality star's street-food paranoia?
Sixteen years of Whacky Bush Doodle and Snoop Dogg Barry and now this...when we could have had Pilloried Hillary selling out the country bit-by-bit to the Saudis so that she and Billy Willy Dilly could live large in the Hamptons among the trust-funder pipsqueaks.
Oh well, "what does it matter now?"
Dwight Eisenhower's shadow from over a half-century ago looms gigantic over the stink of these little shit house maggots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gahL...
March 2, 2017
Lenten Fridays and Stalking the Elusive Icelandic Cod at Whole Foods
Before the Second Vatican Council in the early 1960's, Catholics were required to abstain from meat every Friday as a spiritual act of penance. After Vatican II, this was modified to Ash Wednesday and only those Fridays during Lent. Most Catholics have conveniently forgotten that it is still recommended, but not compulsory, to abstain during the remaining Fridays of the year.
Many consider this to be a long-suffering ordeal. Being Swedish, with Viking cod oil coursing through my veins, I have to wonder what the big deal is? Why is this is even considered penance?
I do not have many heroes. Two of them happen to be Julia Child and Jacques Pepin and I can replicate many of their famous recipes off the top of my head.
Consequently, I seldom take advantage of the Las Vegas restaurant scene unless I have a date with a well-dressed lady who can carry on a lively conversation because I cannot look at the artfully-plated dish placed before me without deconstructing it and thinking that I could have accomplished this in my own kitchen and saved myself a couple hundred bucks. Oh well, I am here for the lady, the conversation and and maybe a little people-watching out of the corner of my eye.
I am not a snob. Far from it. My personal culinary tastes are anything but five star. I gravitate towards Midwestern comfort food, Swedish husmankost and French bistro cooking. However, I am completely dumbstruck by the satanic cults promoted daily across the worldwide media by those gluten-free hypochondriacs and psychopathic vegans who walk with zombies.
So tomorrow my Lenten penance will feature a sautéed Icelandic cod filet, buttery mashed potatoes, creamed spinach with a nick of nutmeg and an abstemious tablespoon of finely diced, pickled red beets to refresh the taste buds along with some homemade bread whose gluten has been kneaded to viscoelastic perfection.
I only mention this today because I am already dreaming about tomorrow.
Saint Peter, will I get extra points for Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays….? I need all the points I can get!
Eat your heart out, Paul Bocuse!
Bon appétit!
Many consider this to be a long-suffering ordeal. Being Swedish, with Viking cod oil coursing through my veins, I have to wonder what the big deal is? Why is this is even considered penance?
I do not have many heroes. Two of them happen to be Julia Child and Jacques Pepin and I can replicate many of their famous recipes off the top of my head.
Consequently, I seldom take advantage of the Las Vegas restaurant scene unless I have a date with a well-dressed lady who can carry on a lively conversation because I cannot look at the artfully-plated dish placed before me without deconstructing it and thinking that I could have accomplished this in my own kitchen and saved myself a couple hundred bucks. Oh well, I am here for the lady, the conversation and and maybe a little people-watching out of the corner of my eye.
I am not a snob. Far from it. My personal culinary tastes are anything but five star. I gravitate towards Midwestern comfort food, Swedish husmankost and French bistro cooking. However, I am completely dumbstruck by the satanic cults promoted daily across the worldwide media by those gluten-free hypochondriacs and psychopathic vegans who walk with zombies.
So tomorrow my Lenten penance will feature a sautéed Icelandic cod filet, buttery mashed potatoes, creamed spinach with a nick of nutmeg and an abstemious tablespoon of finely diced, pickled red beets to refresh the taste buds along with some homemade bread whose gluten has been kneaded to viscoelastic perfection.
I only mention this today because I am already dreaming about tomorrow.
Saint Peter, will I get extra points for Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays….? I need all the points I can get!
Eat your heart out, Paul Bocuse!
Bon appétit!
February 27, 2017
A Pecan Shortbread Cookie Accompaniment To Your Reading Pleasures
Sometimes, the best recipes are the simplest.
Here is a recipe for about two dozen pecan shortbread cookies that go good with a glass of milk or a cup of coffee while reading a great book:
1 cup softened butter
1/2 cup sugar (1/4 baker's sugar and 1/4 packed brown sugar is my formula)
2 cups All-purpose flour
1 cup chopped pecans
1 tsp vanilla extract (I always spill a little extra into the mix)
Slightly smaller metric batch
2 DL softened butter
1 DL sugar
4 DL flour
2DL chopped pecans
Scant 1 tsp vanilla extract
Combine softened butter, sugar and vanilla. Mix with hand mixer until creamy.
SLOWLY add flour in stages.
Knead the combined mixture with hands until a little greasy otherwise the cookies will crumble (pun intended)!
Work in chopped pecans
Wrap with plastic wrap. Gently mold and compact the dough into a long, solid brick about 3 inches high (7.5 cm) and two inches (5cm) wide and put into the fridge for about twenty minutes until the butter congeals and slicing becomes easier.
Unwrap. Slice off 3/4 inch (2cm) cookies. Place on cookie sheet covered with parchment paper.
Bake about 12 minutes at 350 fahrenheit/ 175 celsius
Let cookies rest a few minutes before sliding parchment onto a cooling rack. Cool thoroughly.
You are welcome!
Here is a recipe for about two dozen pecan shortbread cookies that go good with a glass of milk or a cup of coffee while reading a great book:
1 cup softened butter
1/2 cup sugar (1/4 baker's sugar and 1/4 packed brown sugar is my formula)
2 cups All-purpose flour
1 cup chopped pecans
1 tsp vanilla extract (I always spill a little extra into the mix)
Slightly smaller metric batch
2 DL softened butter
1 DL sugar
4 DL flour
2DL chopped pecans
Scant 1 tsp vanilla extract
Combine softened butter, sugar and vanilla. Mix with hand mixer until creamy.
SLOWLY add flour in stages.
Knead the combined mixture with hands until a little greasy otherwise the cookies will crumble (pun intended)!
Work in chopped pecans
Wrap with plastic wrap. Gently mold and compact the dough into a long, solid brick about 3 inches high (7.5 cm) and two inches (5cm) wide and put into the fridge for about twenty minutes until the butter congeals and slicing becomes easier.
Unwrap. Slice off 3/4 inch (2cm) cookies. Place on cookie sheet covered with parchment paper.
Bake about 12 minutes at 350 fahrenheit/ 175 celsius
Let cookies rest a few minutes before sliding parchment onto a cooling rack. Cool thoroughly.
You are welcome!
February 26, 2017
And The Oscar For Portraying A Real Person Goes To...
Sometime after puberty, most people put away their toys and stop playing dress-up and pretend in order to take a stab at being an adult.
Others go to Hollywood where they can continue playing dress-up and pretend. Maybe because they cannot find work as a grown-up. Maybe because they cannot stop pretending to be someone they are not because they have never had the working material to be someone in the real world.
And you are not going to believe this, but a lot of those people who left the playground in favor of becoming gown-ups pay money to see the ones who could not make it as a grown-up in the real world pretend to be someone they are not in some of the most forgettable stories ever written in human history.
And you are not going to believe this, but the PC media quotes the opinions of these impostors as though they carry forth with the gravitas of H.L. Mencken, G. K. Chesterton or Blaise Pascal contemplating the human condition.
The PC media loves Hollywood and Hollywood loves the PC media and the PC media loves Hollywood for loving the PC media. They are both cut from the same imaginary cloth.
Others go to Hollywood where they can continue playing dress-up and pretend. Maybe because they cannot find work as a grown-up. Maybe because they cannot stop pretending to be someone they are not because they have never had the working material to be someone in the real world.
And you are not going to believe this, but a lot of those people who left the playground in favor of becoming gown-ups pay money to see the ones who could not make it as a grown-up in the real world pretend to be someone they are not in some of the most forgettable stories ever written in human history.
And you are not going to believe this, but the PC media quotes the opinions of these impostors as though they carry forth with the gravitas of H.L. Mencken, G. K. Chesterton or Blaise Pascal contemplating the human condition.
The PC media loves Hollywood and Hollywood loves the PC media and the PC media loves Hollywood for loving the PC media. They are both cut from the same imaginary cloth.
February 23, 2017
The Inalienable Principle of Minority Rule Upon Public Discussion
Given the thousands of NYT reader reactions to Mr. Trump Monkey's rescinder of Snoop Dogg Barry Obama's transgender restroom privilege fatwa, an innocent bystander might gather that the original edict had been part and parcel of the Bill of Rights from over two hundred years ago rather than a recent brainstorm from the PC Pajama Boy and community organizer himself.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/22/us...
PC Snowflake and Pajama Boyz heads are exploding all over the Times pages like yellow, rotten zits, screaming discrimination! Discrimination!
Not to worry young grasshoppers, give the PC'ers enough time and they will find a way to use the only other arrow in their quivering little quiver, the poisonous Scarlet R! RACISM!
In the meantime, saner minds argue that transgender restroom privileges discriminate against the 98.5% of public school students who are heterosexual and would rather not have someone with the other genitalia invading their private space.
This argument will bounce right off the PC spank wanker bobbling bobbleheads since they believe that America was founded upon the inalienable principle of minority rule. Well, their special minority of the moment, in any event.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/22/us...
PC Snowflake and Pajama Boyz heads are exploding all over the Times pages like yellow, rotten zits, screaming discrimination! Discrimination!
Not to worry young grasshoppers, give the PC'ers enough time and they will find a way to use the only other arrow in their quivering little quiver, the poisonous Scarlet R! RACISM!
In the meantime, saner minds argue that transgender restroom privileges discriminate against the 98.5% of public school students who are heterosexual and would rather not have someone with the other genitalia invading their private space.
This argument will bounce right off the PC spank wanker bobbling bobbleheads since they believe that America was founded upon the inalienable principle of minority rule. Well, their special minority of the moment, in any event.
February 19, 2017
Mr. Trump Monkey's Hideous Happening in Sweden
At a pep rally in Florida yesterday among his faithful monkey troop, Mr. Trump Monkey asserted that something mysteriously hideous had occurred in Sweden the night before. What exactly it was, he would not nor could not clarify, but apparently it was so unbelievable that it could only be left to the frightful imagination of the Facebook crowd that posts hourly photos of their latest pedicures and cheeseburgers.
Three possibilities immediately splashed across our morning cup of coffee.
1. There was a drone attack on major Swedish cities by millions of undocumented, space-alien meatballs made without any trace of nutmeg or allspice. What real Swede would ever consume such an heresy? Unbelievable! Who did those stupid aliens think they were dealing with anyway?
2. There was a prediction from an historically infallible fortune teller that a transgender Syrian immigrant will win the Vasaloppet ski race..
3. A foreign deviant has stolen Sweden's entire national reserves of surströmming (sour herring) and is holding the stinking heap as ransom for a date with Zara Larsson. Please don't give in, Sweden! Please!
As of this moment, only Mr. Trump Monkey knows the gory details. We are quivering in our morning coffee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD4HC...
and a little something for the Monkey-in-Chief himself:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB2E6...
Three possibilities immediately splashed across our morning cup of coffee.
1. There was a drone attack on major Swedish cities by millions of undocumented, space-alien meatballs made without any trace of nutmeg or allspice. What real Swede would ever consume such an heresy? Unbelievable! Who did those stupid aliens think they were dealing with anyway?
2. There was a prediction from an historically infallible fortune teller that a transgender Syrian immigrant will win the Vasaloppet ski race..
3. A foreign deviant has stolen Sweden's entire national reserves of surströmming (sour herring) and is holding the stinking heap as ransom for a date with Zara Larsson. Please don't give in, Sweden! Please!
As of this moment, only Mr. Trump Monkey knows the gory details. We are quivering in our morning coffee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD4HC...
and a little something for the Monkey-in-Chief himself:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB2E6...
February 16, 2017
The Ongoing Case of the Curious Bedfellows
Before World War II America did not have intelligence services like the CIA or the NSA that meddled in the affairs of other nations.
America was a country of hard working people that mistrusted the rest of the world and minded its own business.
The CIA would evolve out of World War II's OSS and begin tampering with other nations governments, bribing their officials and even assassinating a few deviants here and there all in the name of American democracy.
Then came the NSA scanning the internet for information.
In 2013, the PC spank wankers in the media correctly argued that the country would be more honorably served if Congress would defund the NSA. The wankers were especially aghast that the NSA was actually eavesdropping on American citizens.
Imagine that, an intelligence service with all sorts of personal information fluttering from desk top to desk top thinking it was above the law? Also, imagine the PC spank wankers being right for a change?
Thanks to the PC hysteria, Congress almost defunded the IT spooks by a vote of 217-205. Close, but no cigar, Mama.
How the warp and woof has changed direction! Now the PC wankers are lining up behind the spy agencies because they are embarrassing Mr. Trump Monkey and his loyal troop of see-no-evil simians on a daily basis.
The enemy of my enemy is now my friend!
And then what? And then what?
America was a country of hard working people that mistrusted the rest of the world and minded its own business.
The CIA would evolve out of World War II's OSS and begin tampering with other nations governments, bribing their officials and even assassinating a few deviants here and there all in the name of American democracy.
Then came the NSA scanning the internet for information.
In 2013, the PC spank wankers in the media correctly argued that the country would be more honorably served if Congress would defund the NSA. The wankers were especially aghast that the NSA was actually eavesdropping on American citizens.
Imagine that, an intelligence service with all sorts of personal information fluttering from desk top to desk top thinking it was above the law? Also, imagine the PC spank wankers being right for a change?
Thanks to the PC hysteria, Congress almost defunded the IT spooks by a vote of 217-205. Close, but no cigar, Mama.
How the warp and woof has changed direction! Now the PC wankers are lining up behind the spy agencies because they are embarrassing Mr. Trump Monkey and his loyal troop of see-no-evil simians on a daily basis.
The enemy of my enemy is now my friend!
And then what? And then what?
