David Vienna's Blog, page 203
November 8, 2015
saltcaramels:
Turns out that adulthood is basically a long series of conversations about how tired...
Turns out that adulthood is basically a long series of conversations about how tired you are, interspersed with smiling sympathetically as someone else tells you how tired they are (but you’re thinking they are not nearly as tired as you).
GPOY
Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you have to play them...
Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you have to play them kids’ music. The book What Is Punk? serves as a primer for parents of toddlers and preschoolers who might need some convincing.
Since our boys were babies, we’ve played them all kinds of music—very little of it actual kids’ music. That’s why, when you ask them who their favorite band is, they both answer without hesitation, “The Clash.”
Also, Boone wants to play guitar like John Lee Hooker. And Wyatt can sing pretty much every Talking Heads song.
Anyway, What Is Punk? has great art by Anny Yi that make some of the angriest and most antisocial bands in punk history perfectly adorable.
We decided to have a lazy Sunday morning, so the boys are...
We decided to have a lazy Sunday morning, so the boys are watching Fantasia for the first time while Lulu cleans up their crumbs.
November 7, 2015
November 6, 2015
Last day at the old job means going away drinks and maybe some...
Last day at the old job means going away drinks and maybe some pool with a soon-to-be former coworker.
November 5, 2015
"Stop petting your ice cream."
- Real thing I had to say to my son. We were in public.
November 4, 2015
Wyatt Made A Book About Us
The book is four pages long. On each page, he drew a member of the family as an anthropomorphic heart saying something that best represents them.
On the Boone page, Boone says, “I’m done with my painting.”On the Wyatt page, Wyatt says, “I’m spazzy!”
On the Papa page, I say, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
On the Mama page, Larissa says, “Wyatt! You’re done!”
So according to Wyatt, the trait that defines his mom: Loudly telling Wyatt to stop doing whatever he’s doing.
Jimmy Kimmel's Halloween Pranks are Not Funny. And No, I Do Not Need to Lighten Up.
I 100% agree with this.
I’ve never understood why this bit is so popular. My only guess is that the majority of people who find it funny are non-parents. Because why would any parent revel in intentionally abusing a child’s trust?
Remember that douchebag who pranked his wife by making it look like their son died in a fiery wreck? I said this about that:
I’ve never liked pranks. Here’s why: It takes no amount of intelligence or wit to abuse someone’s trust. No matter how elaborate or how much planning was needed to, say, make your wife think you blew up your kid, the punchline is that you are taking advantage of something good—someone’s natural instinct to trust humanity. And if you abuse that trust enough, you create a cynic.
Now, apply that to your own child—the child who’s heart is genuinely broken every time you have to work late or can’t go to the fair because your finances are stretched thin. These are things that can’t be avoided.
But, to then purposefully make them believe you took something about which they care deeply, even for a moment, then laugh about it… well, that just makes you a fucking asshole. And it chips away at the trust you’re supposed to nurture and protect with your child. Parents who participate in the annual prank vids are emotionally bullying their own children, making them cry, then sharing the pain they caused with the world via Jimmy Kimmel’s show.
Let me be clear: If you are a parent who thinks making kids cry so the world can laugh at them is okay, you are an idiot and total shit-stain of a human.
If you have a relationship with your child in which pranks or jokes are established, that’s one thing. But, these Jimmy Kimmel pranks are not that type of scenario. They’re just fucking mean.
Don’t fucking do cruel shit to your own kids! Seriously, it’s like Parenting 101.
November 3, 2015
fuks:
The lifestyle choice regrets of a three-year-old.
Do...
fuks:
The lifestyle choice regrets of a three-year-old.
Do yourself a favor and un-mute this. While it’s funny without sound, it’s fucking hysterical with sound because:
The kid’s sounds genuinely and overwhelmingly disappointedWhoever is filming is trying to stifle laughter, which makes it even better
