David Vienna's Blog, page 193

I think this is the third time Boone’s been to the doctor...

I think this is the third time Boone’s been to the doctor since the start of the year. Poor guy is sick AGAIN.

Dad 2.0 Dumblr Roll Call!Who’s from the Tumblr parenting...

Dad 2.0 Dumblr Roll Call!

Who’s from the Tumblr parenting community is going to the Dad 2.0 Summit in DC this week?

I know @how2beadad, @electradaddy, and @craniodad are all going.

How about @lazydad or @andimthedad? Anyone else?

Tooth Fairy Trauma (Conclusion)

The Tooth Fairy took the tooth I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY, and put a buck and a note under Boone’s pillow. He sold the same tooth twice, the scammer.

The note didn’t offer excuses, just an explanation and an apology. We don’t accept excuses in our house and it looks like the Tooth Fairy doesn’t either.

Here’s an unsolicited piece of advice:If you’re going to jump in...

Here’s an unsolicited piece of advice:

If you’re going to jump in and do the whole Tooth Fairy thing with your kids, don’t forget to do the whole Tooth Fairy thing with your kids.

Because if you fall asleep before doing the whole Tooth Fairy thing with your kids rather than, say, falling asleep at 11pm and neglecting to put money under your kid’s pillow, you’ll be awakened the next morning by a sobbing child who feels like the Tooth Fairy skipped him for some reason.

Related:

I feel like an asshole.

Our solution:

I “emailed” the Tooth Fairy to ask why the living fuck she (or he, we don’t judge) skipped our goddamn house. And in the meantime, I bought my son’s tooth from him.

So, now I own a tooth and need to come up with a believable explanation for the omission. I’m tangled in a web of LIES!

Side note:

Don’t send me messages about how we shouldn’t make our kids believe in the Tooth Fairy and Santa and all of that. Childhood is the only time in a person’s life when they truly believe in magic. I want to encourage that because, if you’re like me and believe hard enough, it has a positive effect even after that person learns that his dad’s bank account ticked 25¢ lower for every tooth they lost.

It’ll make them believe that anything is possible.

Most forget that. I haven’t. And my kids won’t either.

Slo-mo (sort-of) badassery!#parenting #fatherhood

A video posted by The Daddy Complex (@thedaddycomplex) on Feb 13, 2016 at 5:55pm PST

Slo-mo (sort-of) badassery!

#parenting #fatherhood

The boys have no school today, so I’m working from home.Out of the blue, Boone got a 102 degree...

The boys have no school today, so I’m working from home.

Out of the blue, Boone got a 102 degree fever and our dog just threw up on the tile. My manager asked how I was doing, and I was all…

Buying (mostly wine) in bulk means we have plenty of materials...

Buying (mostly wine) in bulk means we have plenty of materials for a haunted mansion.

My heroes taking flight.

My heroes taking flight.

I wanna do a So-Cal tumblr meet and greet! Who's interested????

blastoffbabyboy:

mrsverges:

blastoffbabyboy:

thedaddycomplex:

I’d be down for that :)

Any suggestions of locations?

Any place with a playground for large range of ages would probably be good. Maybe a field too. And benches. Benches for our butts.

Let’s be honest. We need a bar that offers day care.

Reblog and write the opposite of your URL

theramblingark:

christeenabean:

whatleighdoesnext:

wellthatsjustgreat:

annalisetries:

theshadlekoffs:

blastoffbabyboy:

bluegreen-marina:

mamaslittlecubs:

mustbeexhausting:

jennisgreenribbon:

disenchantedspoons:

forgottensoundofthunder:

luvyacantleaveya:

internalrenovations:

dogwithsharperteeth:

ryanjjohn:

hellababely:

i-swear-im-an-adult:

soulproprietorship:

leftoverfries:

istoleyourcats:

cursethecosmos:

thatwasnotveryravenofyou:

thatwasnotveryravenofyou → itisextremelypigeonofthem

cursethecosmos → blessthisuniverse 

istoleyourcats > yougivemedogs
I think either way I’m winning

Leftoverfries ➡ allyoucaneatburgers

Soulproprietorship ➡️ Bodypatronage

That sounds like I’m a purchaser of flesh.

I-swear-im-an-adult ➡ i-lied-im-a-child
(I mean…. that’s not entirely inaccurate sometimes)

Hellababely➡️extremelyhomely

Um.

dogwithsharperteeth –> catwithworndowngums

internalrenovations -> externalconstants

hateyougetthefuckouttamyface

RecalledSilenceofLightning.
(Sounds like a lamp store)

Enchantedforks

Ass’s red blanket

Can’t be refreshing?

Dadas big bears?

redorange-parkinglot?

touchdownoldlady

I don’t know how to do this. NOTtheshadlekoffs? 

Annalisegivesup.

That’s pretty fitting.

Well, That’s Not Good At All.

Nope. Not good at all.

The things Leigh didn’t do before… unintentionally deep

Jared wants me to write “christopher penis” because he thinks its hilarious.

“Be sure to write that I think its clever” -Jared

Thesilentdingy. Tiny water structure, no sound.

Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s fine.