David Vienna's Blog, page 161

Wyatt was one of the kids picked from the audience to do the...

Wyatt was one of the kids picked from the audience to do the improvised fairy tale at Legoland. The hosts didn’t know what they were getting into.

Guys...

Guys…

Hey, guys…

The boys are doing really well at piano…

And they’ve been asking for a long time, so…

Guys…

For Christmas…

We got Boone an electric guitar and Wyatt a drum set…

It’s going to be a loud Christmas…

Guys.

Boone and Wyatt summoning a demon apparently.

Boone and Wyatt summoning a demon apparently.

We got all gussied up. The boys are about to rock their first...

We got all gussied up. The boys are about to rock their first piano recital.

Don’t worry. I’m here to help.

Don’t worry. I’m here to help.

HealthLine turned one of my tweets into a comic! Yay!

HealthLine turned one of my tweets into a comic! Yay!

onlyblackgirl:My ovariesOh, my God! My ovaries, too! And I...

onlyblackgirl:

My ovaries

Oh, my God! My ovaries, too! And I don’t even have them.

Ah, brotherly love.

Ah, brotherly love.

Not An Actual Conversation, But Basically How I Parent

Kid: Did you know elves can fly?

Me: No, they can't.

Kid: My friend Toby said they could.

Me: Yeah, well, Toby's full of shit.

There’s a Daily Beast article that argues dads who have their...

There’s a Daily Beast article that argues dads who have their kids call them “Papa” are just hipsters.

I deliberately trained my kids to call me Papa to honor my grandfather who died of ALS. But if a bunch of people with important opinions say it was done just to be cool, they’ll have to wait a while until I find one rancid shit-stained fuck to give.

Everybody’s trying to make a dime by telling you who you are. Anytime you see that happening, feel free tell whoever it is to go fuck themselves.

Nobody defines you but you.