David Vienna's Blog, page 158
January 26, 2017
davidvienna:
Keepin’ it classy.
(I figured it was time to bust...
Keepin’ it classy.
(I figured it was time to bust out my orange puppet again since we have an orange puppet in the White House.)
January 21, 2017
More pics from #WomensMarchLA #DadsMarch4Women
More pics from #WomensMarchLA #DadsMarch4Women
With the family at #WomensMarchLA
With the family at #WomensMarchLA
January 19, 2017
Tagging Thing
@tacosaysroar tagged me in this questionnaire thingy (which as far as I can tell doesn’t have a name). Anyway, here we goooooooo…
Nickname: Papa (does that count?) and long ago my coworkers called me Falco. Because “Vienna Calling.” Get it?
Star sign: No Trespassing
Height: 5′9″-ish
Time right now: Hammer time
Last thing googled: Bueller (I was looking for the gif of the teacher saying “Bueller” over and over)
Favorite music artists: Too many to list
Song stuck in your head: Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” because my kids keep asking our Amazon echo to play it
Last movie watched: Rumble In The Bronx
Last TV show watched: Black Mirror
What are you wearing now: A smirk
When did you create your blog: July 27, 2009
What kind of stuff do you post: Utter crap
Do you have any other blogs: Yes
Do you get asks regularly: Hardly at all. I used to, though. I guess after years of answering questions with smartass replies, people just gave up.
Why did you choose your URL: Because it’s genius and no other dad blogger had thought to use it yet. Porn sites, on the other hand, they’d thought of it.
Gender: Yes
Hogwarts House: Slytherin, probably.
Pokemon team: I don’t know… the Orioles?
Favorite color: Green
Average hours of sleep: None. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
How many blankets do you sleep with: What the fuck kinda stupid question is this?
Dream job: Already doing it - writer. Second choice - Rockstar astronaut stunt driver secret agent.
Followers: Yes. Like a cult.
Yay! That was a fun five minutes. Now, my turn to tag people: @starkravingdad @daysofthedad @charliecapen @modernmommy @mammalingo and @taylorswift
January 18, 2017
Giveaway: 5 Funny Books and a Silly Swag Pack
Like winning stuff? OMG! Me, too! We have so much in common.
Well, blogger Karin Mitchell is giving away a package of pretty cool shit, including my book Calm The F*ck Down.
Go. Enter.
January 13, 2017
Terminal Pulp Anthology
You want to keep bad luck from clobbering you this Friday the 13th? Pitch in to this awesome Kickstarter comic project. It’ll totally keep you safe. Totally.
January 12, 2017
Getting in some target practice while listening to Johnny Cash...
Getting in some target practice while listening to Johnny Cash before dinner.
A while back you said you were trying to get in touch with people fleeing the country because of Trump. How's that going? Are you finding that's more or less common than you'd imagined?
I’ve spoken to half-dozen people. I don’t think I can make any broader generalization than to say that some people are really going. I’m still trying to interview Muslims, but so far nobody wants to talk. I’ll post a link when the e-book is up.
January 11, 2017
manvchild:
Big announcement: one of the reasons I’ve been...
Big announcement: one of the reasons I’ve been slacking off on this blog lately is that I have been working on a book: Man vs. Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting. It will be published in May by @abramsbooks, but if you like to take the bull by the horns, you could pre-order it right here.
I hope you guys enjoy it. I started my blog because I wanted to talk about the craziness of being a dad, but without being too precious about it. This book is a guide for dads who still have a sense of humor but are worried about screwing up their kids. It goes from just before pregnancy, when you’re whooping it up in the fast lane, through to when you have a big kid who doesn’t need you anymore. It’s got sections like "Let’s Work on Sleep Training Forever" and “Playing Dress-up With Dignity.” And lots more!
Anyway, I’m hoping to get back into the blogging a bit more, now that the book is done. You’ll be hearing a lot more about it and I hope you’ll pick up a copy if you are yourself a dad or if you know a dad. That’s all of you. Heck, buy 3 copies each please.
Order Doug’s book. Or the time-traveling robo-monkeys win.
January 10, 2017
What did you think being a parent would be like before you were one? Did you always think you'd be an awesome dad?
I thought it would be a challenge, but I’d instantly be great at it. I was wrong about the second part.
Parenting is literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And it doesn’t stop. So I learned to not look for goalposts or a finish line. Instead I look at what’s happening today: Are my kids finishing their schoolwork? Are they fed? Are they wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants again and does that really matter?
I don’t think I’m an awesome dad. I’m just a dad. But I’m a dad who is very vocal about my victories… and my failures, for that matter. I cheer myself on that way, I guess. Overall, being honest with myself is key.
So is bourbon.
