Jim Wilson's Blog, page 6

Come to the Father

“At that time Jesus said, ‘I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you havehidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to littlechildren. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleasedto do. All things have been committed to me by myFather. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Fatherexcept the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give yourest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I amgentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light’” (Matt. 11:25-30).

Isn’t that wonderful? Come to Him and find restfor your souls. I can’t think of a better thing to come to Him for. His yoke iseasy, and His burden is light. He will carry our burdens.

This is Jesus’ object: to bring us to theFather. We can come to the Father through the Son and find rest for our souls.

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How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Do Not Worry

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘Whatshall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all thesethings, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them” (Matt. 6:31-32).

There are two reasons not to worry. First, that is what thepagans do. Do you want to be like the unbelievers? Second, your Father knowsthat you need all these things.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and allthese things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33).

I remember 4 January 1958. We lived just off Piney BranchRoad on Aspen Street in Washington, D.C. It was a Saturday morning. We had alittle food in the house, but it was not the kind that our three preschoolchildren liked: no peanut butter, milk, bread, eggs, or orange juice. We had nomoney to buy food. Standing in the dining room, Bessie and I read this passagefrom Matthew to God. We told Him that we were not anxious and that we wereseeking first His kingdom and His righteousness.

The morning mail arrived. It included an envelope postmarkedLancaster, PA. Inside the envelope was $3 and a tract on hell by Bishop J.C.Ryle. It had no return address. We thanked God and bought the food.

By Tuesday evening, we were still out of money and again outof food. We explained the problem to the children and asked Douglas to pray. Hewas 4½ years old. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Douglas thanked God formilk and bread.

On Wednesday morning, I made pancakes with no milk and noeggs. After breakfast, there was a knock at the door. Bessie went to answer it.It was the milkman. He said that he had four quarts of milk for us. Bessie toldhim that we had not ordered it and he must have the wrong address. He answeredthat he had the correct address. Someone else had ordered it for us. We put themilk in the entryway and held a praise meeting around it. We thanked God forthe milk and reminded Him that we had also asked for bread.

I went back to my room for study. A few minutes later,Bessie came running up the stairs with a $5 bill in her hand. She had found itunder a lamp while dusting the end table. (It had been left there as a gift bysomeone we had been counseling.) In the next four hours, there were two moreanswered prayers for us and another answered prayer for a friend.

In the years before 1958, I had been anxious several times.That was the last time I was tempted to be anxious. God is and has beenfaithful.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Born Again Every Day

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord,continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faithas you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness” (Colossians 2:6-7).

Years ago, a friend of mine told me that he was not intoevangelism because the more converts he had, the more backsliders he had. Ofcourse, that is not a reason to hold back on evangelism, but it makes youwonder why it sometimes seems to be so.

Here is a major reason. The new Christian often is nottaught to live the Christian life the same as he was taught to receiveChrist. He is taught a different way of living than he was taught of receiving.That is why he falls.

The new Christian received Christ by grace through faith. Hedid not receive Christ by trying or by effort. He is not to live by trying orby effort. He is to live by grace through faith. In other words, the Christianlife should be like being born again every day.

Please pray for the new Christians you know, that they willbe rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith and overflowing withthankfulness.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Know & Trust

“So we know and believe the love God has for us” (1 John4:16 RSV).

What struck me when this passage was brought to my attentionwere the two verbs know and believe. We know the love of God. Webelieve the love of God.

The New International Version says, “We know and rely on thelove of God.” Let me say it this way: We know and trust the love of God.

The verse starts out with the word “so,” which means thisconclusion is based on the previous verse: “If anyone acknowledges that Jesusis the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely onthe love God has for us” (1 John 4:15-16), That is how we know, and thatis how we believe.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Breakfast with the Risen Lord

 

“But that night they caught nothing.”

“Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals therewith fish on it, and some bread.”

“Bring some of the fish you have just caught.”

“Come and have breakfast.”

“Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did thesame with the fish.”

(Selections from John 21)

Jesus had been fishing.

Jesus had made or purchased bread.

Jesus started a fire and cleaned the fish.

Jesus cooked the bread and the fish.

Jesus invited the men to breakfast.

Jesus served them their breakfast.

This was the risen Christ. “None of the disciples dared askhim, ‘Who are you?’ They knew it was the Lord.”

Isn’t this a wonderful picture of the risen Lord? He isstill a servant. We are to be like Him.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

The Immanency of Conversion

There are two verses in the Scripture that speak to theimmanency of conversion.

“Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months untilharvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe forharvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop foreternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus thesaying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. I sent you to reap what you havenot worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped thebenefits of their labor” (John 4:35-38).

“Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentifulbut the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send outworkers into his harvest field’” (Matt. 9:37-38).

These are the truths: the harvest is ripe; the harvest isplentiful; and there are few harvesters. That means that there are more peoplewho want to get into the kingdom than there are Christians who want them in.

Over the years, I have not been fruitful in expressing thebad news prior to the good news. People need to know what they are being savedfrom. “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects theSon will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them” (John 3:36). There aremany texts on judgment in the New Testament.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the SamePage Summer Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily readingplan, please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading withus.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Joy

Here are five biblical passages on joy:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness” (Galatians 5:22).

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes onthe vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, thoughthere are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoicein the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior” (Habakkuk 3:17-18).

“The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior whosaves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebukeyou, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me awilling spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, sothat sinners will turn back to you” (Psalms 51:12-13).

“The seventy-two returned with joy and said, ‘Lord, even thedemons submit to us in your name.’ He replied, ‘I saw Satan fall like lightningfrom heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions andto overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do notrejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are writtenin heaven’” (Luke 10:17-20).

The cause of joy on earth and in heaven is our salvation.Our joy is a cause in others’ salvation.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Same Page Summer 2025

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching,rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God maybe thoroughly equipped for every good work. In the presence of God and ofChrist Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of hisappearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: preach the Word; be preparedin season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage, with great patienceand careful instruction" (2 Timothy 3:16-4:2).

"Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading ofScripture, to preaching and to teaching" (1 Timothy 4:13).

There was a time when there were very few Bibles, even in culturedlands. There were no printing presses, and most of the people were illiterate.If people received the Word, it was through the public reading of Scripture bypeople who could read and had the Scriptures. Now in the church today in this country,we can read, and we each own at least one Bible.

A year ago* at one of our schools of practical Christianity,we asked the students three questions: "How long have you been aChristian? How many times have you read the New Testament? How many times haveyou read the Old Testament?" When the answers were added, we found outthat the average reading of the New Testament was every 2 ½ years, and theaverage reading of the Old Testament was every 7 years.

This last weekend, I was at a men’s conference, and I askedthe same three questions. The total number of years of Christianity was 514.5years. The total number of times through the New Testament was 36 and throughthe Old Testament was 18. In other words, the New Testament was read every 14 yearsand the Old every 28 years. This amounts to spending less than 30 seconds aday in the Bible. This is not very encouraging.

Here is a printable plan we hope will encourage you to read theNew Testament. Even if you are a very slow reader, you can read the whole Biblethrough in 80 hours. If you are a listener instead of a reader, you can listento the whole Bible on an audio app. I listen in my car and enjoy it very much. You can find more info on the plan at TotheWord.com. The plan starts next Monday.

*Written May 1992. Updated to include details of the 2025 Same Page Summer reading plan.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Loving Your Parents

Dear Mary,

Your good letter arrived today, and I thought it need an immediatereply.

I am glad to see that you really saw the change in Susie’srelationship with her parents when she took the action she took of writingletters of respect and love to them. Then you said that you did not take thatsame action, and in fact, you were not sure that you wanted their love. And themore you prayed for them, the less you felt attached to them, and this includedyour whole family.

Well, you are doing things backwards. You do not want theirlove, you pray for them, and you feel less attached to them. Listen, God didnot give you those unloving feelings. The enemy gave you those unloving feelings.Since God did not give them to you, and you decided to have them from someother source, you are going to have to repent of those feelings. Repent of yournot wanting their love. You will not be able to grow in the Lord without takingthis action. You might learn more, and you might not get really back-slidden,but you will not grow until you take care of this problem.

Susie took care of her problem first, and then she wrote theletter. She took care of her problem by confession, repentance, getting rid ofall of her negative feelings which she had toward her parents. So when shewrote the letter, it was not a hypocritical letter, it was a real letter. Andbeing I real letter, it got a real response. You haven’t written the letterbecause you have not taken care of the problem. If you wrote one with your presentfeelings, of course it would sound phony. So, you get to the Lord and confess allof your unlove for your family. You stay with it until it is all gone.

After you have been forgiven, cleansed, you still may notlove them, but you will be clean. From a clean position, then, you chooseto love them because they are your parents, because they are your neighbors,because they are enemies. Regardless of who they are, you should still lovethem.

You are not looking forward to Christmas at home because ofprevious unpleasant times at home. That is why you must take care of your sideof the problem, until you have confessed your unlove and chosen to love them,and then express your love toward them either on the telephone or in writing,so they can respond to love. When they do, it might change your view aboutbeing home at Christmas. If you are in some other Christian home that is happy,it is a happy Christian home for a reason (they forgive each other), and it canbe the same reason in your parents’ home, only you have to act on it as aChristian.

This is a rather strong letter. I hope you receive it inlove and get with the Lord and take action. Give my love in the Lord to theother believers.

In His love,

Jim Wilson

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Relationships with Parents

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may livelong in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exod. 20:12).

Of the many talks I frequently give, those which havereceived the most favorable response and the most fruitful application amongyoung and old alike are “How to Be Free from Bitterness” and “Relationshipswith Parents.” Right now, I am sitting in a study room at the Illinois StreetResidence Hall at the University of Illinois. Last week, at Urbana ’93, Iconducted a workshop on relationships with parents. Only about 50 studentsattended the workshop. The shock, the incredulity, the rebellion, and the impossibilityof putting this teaching into effect showed in the tears, the questions, thecomments, and the follow-up conversations. That is why I am here writing itdown.

I would first like to draw your attention to two passages inthe Old Testament. I will comment on them, then make a few suggestions forapplying these Scriptures in your life.

“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form ofanything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. Youshall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am ajealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third andfourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to thousands who loveme and keep my commandments” (Deut. 5:8–10).

“Yet you ask, ‘Why does the son not share the guilt of hisfather?’ Since the son has done what is just and right and has been careful tokeep all my decrees, he will surely live. The soul who sins is the one who willdie. The son will not share the guilt of the father, nor will the father sharethe guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be creditedto him, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against him” (Ezek.18:19–20).

When we read in Deuteronomy 5:10, “punishing the childrenfor the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hateme,” we could conclude that this is not just. However, throughout the entireeighteenth chapter of Ezekiel, we see that children are not held responsiblefor the sins of their fathers. So what is the second commandment saying? It issaying that sin flows downhill. The sinful influence of our ancestors affectsus, overlapping and passing through several generations. This is generationalbad news.

However, the sentence does not end with verse 9; itcontinues with “but showing love to thousands who love me and keep mycommandments.” The word “thousands” is really “thousands of generations,” incontrast to three or four generations. How do we know it is “thousands ofgenerations”? First, it is the only way the sentence makes sense, and, second,two chapters later we have an explicit statement to that effect: “Knowtherefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping hiscovenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep hiscommands” (Deut. 7:9). Sin and hatred of God cause the downward movement tothree or four generations, and obedience and love of God cause the upwardmovement to a thousand generations.

I have heard this many times: “I decided I was not going tobe the kind of father (or mother) who raised me. I would become a Christian,marry a Christian, and do it right. I became a Christian, married a Christian,and I am doing it wrong, just like my parents. I am in the second bad-newsgeneration; do I have to wait for two more bad generations before it ispossible to turn this descent around?”

No, you do not have to wait, but unless you change yourrelationship with your parents and grandparents you will have to wait two moregenerations. Becoming a Christian and preaching the gospel to your parents doesnot change the relationship. Home, with parents, is one of the places whereChristians think that they are allowed to lose their temper. That makes therelationship get worse.

About 400 years before Christ, the prophet Malachi gave anegative conditional prophecy. It is found in the last two verses in the OldTestament. “See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before the great anddreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to theirchildren, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will comeand strike the land with a curse” (Mal. 4:5– 6).

The angel Gabriel alludes to this prophecy in Luke 1:17:“And he [John] will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah,to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to thewisdom of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

Notice that to stop the curse from happening, hearts must beturned both ways. Although most of my illustrations are speaking to and aboutchildren, I am really speaking to parents about their relationship with theirown parents. If you are a Christian parent, turn your heart toward yourparents, and turn your heart toward your children.

Now look at the second instance where the Ten Commandmentsspeak of generations. “Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God hascommanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you inthe land the Lord your God is giving you” (Deut. 5:16).

Application is next: love God (Deut. 5:9); obey God (Deut.5:9); honor your father and mother (Deut. 5:16); and turn your hearts to yourfathers (Mal. 4:5–6).

Because we have not obeyed the two passages in the TenCommandments, we may be in the third- and fourth-generation promise, and wewill not live long on the earth (cf. Eph. 6:1). The land is in danger of beingsmitten with a curse. The Malachi text is a call to repentance, a turnaround ofthe heart.

Here are a few suggestions on how to have a heart repentancethat will 1) stop the curse, 2) cause long life, and 3) turn the three or fourgenerations of bad news around to a thousand generations of good news.

First, there are a few things that are very important inthis turnaround, though they alone bring no automatic guarantee of halting thecurse.

1. Become a Christian. Without a conversion to Christ, it isimpossible to love and obey God.

2. Marry a Christian. Without a Christian marriage, you haveno assurance that you will have Christian children.

3. Stay married: “To the married I give this command…. Awife must not separate from her husband…and a husband must not divorce hiswife” (1 Cor. 7:10–11).

Without these three, you can expect more bad generations.However, with them, the bad generations may still happen. Why? Because yourprior generations still affect you and your children. Leaving your father andmother and cleaving to your wife does not mean that you have turned your heartto your father. Until you do, you are asking for another generation of badnews. You cannot expect to be a good husband or a good father if you have notturned your heart to your own father.

In turning your heart to your father, four elements arenecessary. Preaching the gospel to him is not one of them; do not do so, forthis subverts his authority over you. Instead, you may write a letter him thatconveys each of these four elements. I recommend covering one element perparagraph as follows:

1. If you have confessed to God your previous rebellion toyour father or mother, also confess it to your earthly father with no excusesor accusations.

2. Tell your father how much you respect him. If you do notrespect him, of course you cannot write it without being hypocritical. But youmust write it. How?

First confess to God this disrespect for your father. “Whyshould I? He has not earned it!” The Scripture says, “Honor your father andmother.” It does not say “only if they deserve it.” Your father is to behonored because he is your father. You are commanded to honor him. This is notoptional. If you do not honor him, then you have sinned. The same is true withyour mother. Sin is forgivable, and repentance is required.

After you have confessed your disrespect or lack of honorfor your father, and you are sure you are forgiven, choose to respect him. Youmay ask, “How? He is not respectable.” Respect has nothing to do with therespectableness of the person to be respected. It has to do with the respecterand the respecter’s close fellowship with and obedience to God.

Now with freedom and sincerity, write to your father howmuch you respect him in this second paragraph.

3. In the third paragraph, tell him how much you love him.If you do not love him, that has to be corrected first. Your reply may be, “Hedid not love me, so I do not love him.” It is true that, as a father, he shouldhave loved you so that your response would have been a loving response. But wecannot go back to childhood and start over. Even if we could, that does notguarantee that your father would do it any different the second time. Weaddress the problem from where we are, not from where we should be. You are nowan adult, and as a Christian you have unlimited access to love and forgiveness.If you do not have this access, there is a very real possibility that you arenot a Christian. As a Christian, you may have to confess this lack of love foryour father to God. Is it sin? Yes, it is sin. It is disobedience to thecommand of God. We have been commanded to love our neighbors, love thebrothers, and love our enemies. If you do not think your father fits in one ofthese categories, then perhaps you should study the unconditional quality oflove and the biblical relationship of obedience and love.

After you have confessed and have been forgiven, choose tolove your father. This love requires expression, so tell him in this paragraph.

4. The next paragraph is the place to express yourgratefulness to him. If you are not grateful, then as with respect and love, itis your problem, not his. The procedure is the same. Confess yourunthankfulness to God. When you are forgiven, express your thankfulness to yourfather.

These four elements are necessary and required. The next twoare suggestions for further ways to convey respect.

5. Ask your father to tell you or write you hisauto-biography, his life history. He might not do it, but he will be glad youwant to know about him.

6. Ask him for advice and counsel, in general and onspecific matters. This is part of honor.

Write the same kind of letter to your mother, but with onechange. The first paragraph should express your love to her, and the secondparagraph should communicate your respect for her. Both sexes of the human raceneed love and respect from both sexes. Of the two, women need love more thanthey need respect, and men need respect more than they need love. However, eachneeds both, and they should not have to earn it in order to receive it.

This letter should be followed up with other kind personalletters, hugs, and other physical expressions (e.g. handshakes, if they arewarm, firm, and exuberant).

The letter can be followed up with an explanation, as longas the explanation does not include excuses or accusations. Here is asuggestion: “Dad, I know that you love me very much. You have not been the bestexpresser of your love. So growing up I did not think you loved me. Even now Ihave had to take it by faith. If you wondered why I was boy crazy from juniorhigh through college, it was because I was looking for male affection. Ofcourse, I did not get it. I was getting taken. Now you are wondering about myletter to you and all of the hugs you are getting from me when I come to visit.Although I now have a husband and children, I still need my father, and youneed me. That’s why I am here hugging you. I thought I would prime the pump.I’m giving to receive.” Adjust this example to fit you.

When your parents receive these two letters, several thingswill probably happen. The letter will be read more than once, it will not bethrown away, and you will receive some sort of favorable response. If you donot receive a response, do not think that you did something wrong. Be patientand keep on giving. Some cultures (e.g. those of Northern Europe) are notexpressive with their emotions, except for lost tempers. This kind ofexpression from you may be embarrassing for your parents. But they still wantto receive this expressed love even if they do not know how to return it.

One man in his late fifties wrote this kind of letter to hisfather. His mother replied. “I have been married to your father for sixtyyears. When he read your letter, that was the first time in our marriage I sawtears in his eyes.”

In the early 1980s, we held a summer school of practicalChristianity at Delta House of the University of Idaho. About 40 studentsattended. Respect for parents was one of the subjects. The following fall, in anoon Bible class at Washington State University, I was teaching on the samesubject again. One of the students spoke up. He gave us a story that wentsomething like this:

“I learned this last summer at the Delta House. When I wassixteen, my father kicked me out of the house, saying that he would never seeme again. I left home. I later became a Christian and married a Christian. NowI am a graduate student in economics at WSU. In the meantime, I had not seen myfather. My parents were on the brink of divorce, living in separate bedrooms athome (in one of the Great Plains states).

“When I learned this material, I wrote two letters, one tomy father and one to my mother. It took me several days to write each one, sothey were sent several days apart. For some reason, the letters arrived on thesame day, and both my parents were at home. Seeing that the letters wereaddressed separately, my mother took her letter to her room, and my father tookhis letter to his room. After reading the letters, they exchanged them and wentagain to their separate rooms and read. When they came out, my father had tearsin his eyes and said, ‘I’m flying out to Pullman to see my son.’ I have seen myfather since last summer, and my parents’ marriage has been saved.”

There are two problems, the heart problem and the actionproblem. The heart problem is first. Your unlove, your disrespect, yourungratefulness have to be taken care of in repentance toward God. To write aletter without being forgiven by God only ensures that your letter will beinsincere and hypocritical.

You may have a long wait if you wait for your father to turnto you first. You cannot afford the wait.

After you are clean, write the letters. Then continueletter-writing, telephoning, and visiting, expressing respect, love, andthankfulness.

Doing these things will change you. You will become a betterhusband, son, and father, or a better wife, daughter, and mother. Your love andobedience will bring love for a thousand generations.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships