Jim Wilson's Blog, page 8

Marriage & Growing in the Lord: Providing for Your Wife's Needs

Dear Joe,

Before I continue, I want you to know that I have alwaysloved you and respected you. This love and respect have been separate from yourperformance; nevertheless, it is real.

The following are perceptions of mine. I do not think theyhave been automatic causes in your slowing down in your journey toward God, butthey have had some effect.

·      You are competitive.

·      You have been a perfectionist in the past.

·      You have been a subject of flattery in the past.

·      You have had a desire for wealth in the past.

·      You were not spiritually ready when you got married, nor didyou catch up after you got married.

If these perceptions are true, so what? You and your wifehave had thousands of incidents in your life together that seem more importantthan these six thoughts.

Whether she wanted these things or not, your wife neededthe following from you:

·      She needed to be protected.

·      She needed to be nourished and cherished.

·      She needed to be taught and led by exampleand from the Word.

·      She needed to have boundaries.

You may not see the connection between the first list andyour wife’s needs. Here it is: the things in the first list have selfishnessin each of them, and the second require selflessness.

You have been focused on her needs, but not the ones youshould provide. You have focused on the kind you think need to be corrected inher before you provide the others for her. This is the wrong way to lookat it. You need to focus on the providing.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

How to Treat Your Wife: Admonishing vs. Cherishing

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the churchand gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing withwater through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church,without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In thissame way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loveshis wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feedand care for their body, just as Christ does the church” (Eph. 5:25-29).

Note the last verse. The KJV says “nourishes and cherishes.”

In Ephesians 6, Paul says that children are to be nurturedand admonished.

Wives are to be nourished and cherished.Children are to be nourished and admonished. You must admonish yourchildren. You must cherish your wife.

You may not admonish your wife. If there is somemoral infraction on her part, then you should handle it in the light of Galatians 6:1:

“Brothers, if someone is caught in sin, you who arespiritual restore him gently. But watch yourself or you may be tempted.”

If the infraction is not immoral or heretical, you may notdo this, either.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Church Planting: Why I Started a Church

Some time ago, I received this question: “Why did you startyour own church when you moved to Moscow? I am working in ministry in my church,but I am considering being a pastor. How do I know if I should leave thischurch to start my own or stay and keep trying to minister to the people here?”

We came out to Idaho from Michigan to spy out the land inFebruary 1971.

In October ’72, fifteen months after we arrived, I was askedto substitute at the Grange church, which my family had been attending. In themeantime, we had been holding an afternoon house church in our home. In1976, we shut down the afternoon house church because we did not want tocompete with Community Evangelical Fellowship, the Moscow church that westarted from the Grange in September 1975 because the congregation there wasgrowing. The Grange grew and divided/planted again in 1976. I pastored bothchurches in Pullman for one year until another pastor was able to join us. Theother church I pastored until I retired from preaching in 2018.

When we left Ann Arbor, I told Bessie that if the bestevangelical church in the U.S. were in Moscow, we would not join it—because ifthe church sees that you have anything on the ball, they put you to work in thethings that do not save, edify, or glorify. Since we were in the business ofsaving, edifying, and glorifying, we would not become members. We wouldfellowship (attend church every Sunday) but not join.

We are not opposed to starting churches. I do not think thatthey should start with musical chairs but with new converts. Talk to those whoare interested in starting a new church with you. Could they pray some peopleinto the kingdom?

Concerning whatever church you are in now, I will guaranteethat there is at least one hurting Christian there who wants to be back in thejoy of God’s salvation. There is also someone in the church or in town whowants to be saved so badly he is ready to fall off the vine. This sinner is soready he does not need an evangelist to reach him. Pray for contact with thesetwo people.

Remember Jesus’ teaching. You are called to bemisunderstood.

“All this I have told you so that you willnot fall away” (John 16:1).

“Blessed are those who arepersecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when peopleinsult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you becauseof me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your rewardin heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were beforeyou” (Matt. 5:10-12).

 

“Tothis you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example,that you should follow in his steps” (1 Pet. 2:21).

 

The fruit is there. Quitfighting; eat it with joy. If you leave your church, you will only change thesize of your frying pan. Leave when they are boiling the tar and plucking thegoose. By that time, you will leave living, thriving fruit behind.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Bearing Fruit in All Circumstances

“This is what the LORD says: ‘Cursed is the one who trusts inman, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from theLORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity whenit comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt landwhere no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whoseconfidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sendsout its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves arealways green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bearfruit” (Jeremiah 17:5-8).

“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of thewicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But hisdelight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in seasonand whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Not so the wicked!They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will notstand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For theLORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked willperish” (Psalm 1:1-6).

“The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will growlike a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourishin the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stayfresh and green, proclaiming, ‘The LORD is upright; he is my Rock, and there isno wickedness in him’” (Psalm 92:12-15).

“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear goodfruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs fromthornbushes, or grapes from briers” (Luke 6:43-44).

Ever since the Garden of Eden, there have been good fruit treesand bad fruit trees. We are all fruit trees. These scriptures tell us how tobear good fruit all of the time.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the Tothe Word! Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily reading plan,please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading with us.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Preparing Hearts for Harvest

“Break up your fallow ground, and sow not among thorns”(Jeremiah 4:3).

The Lord’s instruction to Judah through Jeremiah was spiritualinstruction. He wasn’t speaking about farming. The Bible is wonderful in itsclarity, and we can be awfully obtuse in our understanding.

We do not operate like good farmers. We are like athree-year-old child who plants a bean and digs it up every day to see if it isgrowing. We have a Jack-and-the-Beanstalk view of sowing. We expect a giantplant the next morning.

We are impatient for the harvest, so we are impatient in oursowing. We sow in unplowed, undisced, and unharrowed ground. We sow in weeds.We sow in the rocks and on hard ground. We wonder why no harvest. The harvestis dependent on sowing, which is dependent on us. It is also dependent upon theground. The kind of ground is, in a sense, dependent on us. “Break up yourfallow ground, and sow not among the thorns” speaks of the need forcultivation. Good, soft ground with no rocks and no weeds will bring forththirty, sixty, and a hundredfold (Matthew 13).

In the business of evangelism, how do we prepare the groundeven before sowing? Broken ground, soft and moist, is actually hungry for seed.If earth has a purpose, that is it. “And God said, ‘Let the earth bring forthgrass and the tree yielding fruit.’” So it is with people. Prepared people are hungry for the seed of the Word of God.

People should be prepared, like the ground, before the seed isplanted. The “good news” is the seed. How do we prepare people before we startsharing the good news of Jesus Christ with them?

We are to love them. Love softens the ground.

We are to pray for them. As you pray, God will fill yourhearts with His love for people, and as you pray for them the Holy Spirit willprepare them to receive the Word of God.

“And the servant ofthe Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, inmeekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure willgive them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth” (2 Timothy 2:24-25).

It is important and possible to love people, pray for them, bepatient, gentle, and kind before we mention the God of our salvation. This doesnot have to be a long period. It is not the length of time of preparation; itis the genuineness of our gentleness that is important. If we love peoplegenuinely, it may be possible to sow good seed into “ready” ground in a matterof minutes.

Remember, an abundant harvest is dependent upon the amount ofseed sown, the kind of ground sown in, and the obedience of the reapers. Groundpreparation is not something to do in order to get out of sowing; sowing is notsomething done in order to get out of reaping. But ground preparation does comefirst. Help prepare hearts as you pray for those you know who are not saved.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the Tothe Word! Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily reading plan,please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading with us.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Truth Spoken in Love

“In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge theliving and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you thischarge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebukeand encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when menwill not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, theywill gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching earswant to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths”(2 Timothy 4:1-4).

It looks as if the time has come.

The sound doctrine that cannot be endured is simple, basic,true, and shows up in verses like the following:

“In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commandsall people everywhere to repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the worldwith justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all menby raising him from the dead” (Acts 17:30-31).

“The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands.Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will notsee life, for God’s wrath remains on him” (John 3:35-36).

“He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospelof our Lord Jesus. They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut outfrom the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power on the day he comesto be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who havebelieved. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you” (2 Thessalonians1:8-10).

People who like to have their ears tickled do not call pastorswho will dwell on these truths.

Because more and more people want soft teaching, more and more peopleare willing to give it. We see it in “Christian” books.

There have always been true books and false books. It was easy totell the difference. Now there is a multitude of “true books” that are “soft” books.They do not appear to be false. The truth in them is presented so that no one will take offense. When that successfully happens, “truth”has just become false.

Truth spoken in love both attracts and offends.

“Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I stillbeing persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished” (Galatians5:11).

As the river of Christian books gets wider, it seems to getshallower.

We in our ministry have diligently endeavored to present sound doctrine.As the river gets wider, we channel it so in our section it is narrower and deeper.Find out more about the books we publish at ccmbooks.org/bookstore.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the Tothe Word! Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily reading plan,please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading with us.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Salvation for the Worst Sinners

1 Timothy 1:15:         

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves fullacceptance.” That means pay attention.

“Christ Jesus…” Who He is!      

“…came into this world to save sinners…” The only reason forHis birth in Bethlehem.      

“…of whom I am the worst.” This is not false humility. Thisis an inspired statement.    

“But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me,the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as anexample for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life.”

One of the specific reasons why God saved Paul is givenhere: Paul was the worst of sinners. When you are witnessing to someone whowants to believe, he may say that he is too bad and that Christ will nothave patience with him. That is not true because Christ had already exercisedunlimited patience for the worst of sinners. Christ’s unlimited patience forPaul is an example for those who would believe.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the Tothe Word! Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily reading plan,please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading with us.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

Listeners vs. Heeders

“It is better to heed a wise man’s rebuke than to listen toa song of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:5).

It may have been always so, but at present we seem to haveplenty of songs from many fools. We also seem to be short on wise men. Thegreatest shortage, however, is in heeders. A heeder is one who listens(pays attention) and obeys what he has heard. James said it this way:

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceiveyourselves. Do what it says” (James 1:22).

In my early Christian life, I memorized many verses ofScripture. I succeeded in deceiving myself. I was not obeying; I was notheeding. I thought I was spiritual.

Being a listener is a dangerous position to be in. There aremany good teachers of the Word. There are many more listeners. They flock togood teachers. The teacher should not be pleased that he has many listeners,unless he is going to teach them how to be heeders. This is one of theclear requirements in the Great Commission: “…teaching them to obeyeverything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:20).

This post coordinates with today's reading in the Tothe Word! Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily reading plan,please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading with us.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

The Solution for Emotional Dependency

Some time ago, I received this question: “Someone told methat I am emotionally dependent. Is that like being addicted to someone? Whatis the cure for emotional dependency?”

You may be emotionally dependent, obsessive, or “addicted”to someone, but you should not think in these terms. As soon as you defineyourself that way, you have hindered the cure. You end up focusing on theproblem. Here is the solution. It requires some homework.

·      Think of yourself as a child of God.

·       “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly lifethrough our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2Peter 1:3). Believe it.

·       Realize where you are in Jesus Christ. Read Ephesians 1:13 throughchapter 3 and Colossians 1 and 2. Do not think about doing. Think about being.Look at what these passages say you are in Christ.

·       Read the Gospel of John. Mark every reference about God the Father.See what the text says about the Father. Thank God.

·       Reach out to the unlovely, not for your good, but for theirs. “ThenJesus said to his host, ‘When you give a luncheon ordinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives,or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will berepaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor,the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will beblessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrectionof the righteous’” (Luke 14:12-14).

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships

My Life for Yours

“Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to buildhim up” (Romans 15:2).

I want. I need. I desire. I deserve.

These are much different expressions than he needs or sheneeds. We think in terms of another person’s needs if they are negative, asin, “He needs a spanking,” or “He deserves to go to Hell.” Both of these may betrue, but the text is speaking about what pleases and builds up the otherperson, rather than what pleases us.

We see the same in a different way in Ephesians 4:29: “Do notlet any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful forbuilding others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those wholisten.”

What we do and what we speak should be only forthe other person’s benefit, not for our own.

This post coordinates with today's reading in the Tothe Word! Bible Reading Challenge. If you are not in a daily reading plan,please join us at TotheWord.com. We would love to have you reading with us.

How To Be Free From Bitterness and other essays on Christian relationships