Evil Editor's Blog, page 426

Cartoon 432

Caption: Anon.

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Face-Lift 656

Guess the Plot

Saving Eden

1. All it took was one misheard word on the telephone - and the crack Dutch Cheese Rescue Squad was caught up in a situation for which it was completely unequipped.

2. Archeologist Ellen Suree has just discovered an ancient apple tree after draining a quicksand pit not far from her dig site in the Amazon. When her research reveals the petrified plants are older than any known substance, she thinks she's found Eden. But can she stop it from becoming the next Disney World?

3

Cartoon 431

Caption: Evil Editor

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New Beginning 664

It was a gully in the forest, far from the city but not far form the rail lines and highway between cities. Rains had come and washed away topsoil and a hiker now in custody had happened upon the find.

Now, wooden pegs and string made ten by ten blocks of the whole area. A couple experts dug through the soil, sifting carefully for anything that might be of value. A photographer made certain to record every bone's position /in situ/.

Police in uniform stood guard on the perimeter, making certain ev

Synopsis 18

Trial By Fire, Volume One of the Everstar Saga


Alexander, who goes by Alex to most people, [That's not important enough for the synopsis. Just call him one or the other.:] is a teenage halfling gifted with the ability to manipulate fire, living in the city of Mora at the story's outset. [Those last four words are wasted.:] In this context, "halfling" means someone who has parents of two different races. [That sentence isn't needed; the next sentence makes it clear what the word means.:] In Alex's ca

Cartoon 430

Caption: Anon.

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Writing Exercise Results . . .

. . . are in the posts below. The task was to write about an author from throughout literary history pitching a book to Evil Editor.

Historical Pitch Session 7

Evil Editor scoffed as he pushed the stone tablets off his desk.

"Your manuscript is fundamentally flawed on too many levels. I could never publish this. For starters, the word count it way too low. This isn't even a short story."

"But it's-" the author stood up to interject.

"Don't interrupt me." Evil Editor cocked his fist back. In the early days, he was much more evil. The author whimpered and sat back down. "Second, you're pitching this as some kind of memoir, when it's just a list of stuff. Wh

Historical Pitch Session 6

"It's a rending tale of right and wrong, love and—"

"Love? Does the guy get the girl?"

The old guy adjusted his white drapery. "…He gets her body."

EE rubbed his hands in glee. "I can tell already it'll be a best-seller. How juicy is the scene?"

"Juicy? Oh, you mean dramatic. Very."

"Very as in adult audiences only, or we can still get some teens to read it?"

Sophocles squinted. "I'm not sure it matters… it is very dramatic, heartwrenching, gut-ripping…."

"Gut-ripping?"

"Well, not her—she hangs

Historical Pitch Session 5

The poet swallowed nervously. The idea had seemed such a good one, at the time. Now, as he sat before the man with the strange facial hair and the ominous glint in his eyes, he wondered if he'd done the right thing.

"Hwaet!" he began, desperately.

"You already got my attention," the man replied in a world-weary growl.

The poet blushed. "Sorry," he said, "I'm sorry - I've, uh, I've got a poem - "

"I guessed that," the man said.

"I think it could be big," the poet said. "Like, commercial. Successful.