Evil Editor's Blog, page 417
August 16, 2009
Bad Query 12
Dear Evil Editor,
Here is my novel Lions and Butterflies for you to publish. I'm sure you'll want to publish it because everyone who's read it agrees that it's strong, moving and literary with a hint of raciness and intrigue while being unafraid to tackle the major issues of the day such as cloning, genetic modification and graffiti.
Here are just some of the awesome comments I've received:
"It's wonderful, darling" (my mother).
"Yes, yes, OK, it's great" (my sister).
The leader of the East Sussex an
Here is my novel Lions and Butterflies for you to publish. I'm sure you'll want to publish it because everyone who's read it agrees that it's strong, moving and literary with a hint of raciness and intrigue while being unafraid to tackle the major issues of the day such as cloning, genetic modification and graffiti.
Here are just some of the awesome comments I've received:
"It's wonderful, darling" (my mother).
"Yes, yes, OK, it's great" (my sister).
The leader of the East Sussex an
Bad Query 11
Dear Evil Editor
Please consider representing my novel, The Choice to Change. You may wonder why this novel is set in a casino in Reno, rather than in one of the many worthwhile and often shiny casinos run by Native Americans, or even in Las Vegas or Atlantic City. There are so many potential settings for a casino novel that I vacillated for a long time before finally settling on Reno, which offers many advantages to the novelist, not least that it hasn't appeared in nearly so many films and tv s
Please consider representing my novel, The Choice to Change. You may wonder why this novel is set in a casino in Reno, rather than in one of the many worthwhile and often shiny casinos run by Native Americans, or even in Las Vegas or Atlantic City. There are so many potential settings for a casino novel that I vacillated for a long time before finally settling on Reno, which offers many advantages to the novelist, not least that it hasn't appeared in nearly so many films and tv s
Bad Query 10
Dear Evil Editor,
Our novel, Murderer Among the Mourners, shows how much better my co-author and I are at crafting a suspenseful romance than any other authors within the genre. We know that our writing and craft is so spot-on, we would ultimately outsell Mary Higgins Clark, Jodi Picoult, Johanna Lindsey, Judith Krantz, and Catherine Coulter. This having been said, one could call our excellence at romance a Mary Picoult Krantz Coulter-Lindsey production.
My co-author and I have poured over many
Our novel, Murderer Among the Mourners, shows how much better my co-author and I are at crafting a suspenseful romance than any other authors within the genre. We know that our writing and craft is so spot-on, we would ultimately outsell Mary Higgins Clark, Jodi Picoult, Johanna Lindsey, Judith Krantz, and Catherine Coulter. This having been said, one could call our excellence at romance a Mary Picoult Krantz Coulter-Lindsey production.
My co-author and I have poured over many
Bad Query 9
Dear Evil Editor,
What do the words exigent, flagrant, and pharisaic have in common?
They were all used to describe my 700,000-word suspense novel, "The Minotaur and the Ho."
In absolute veracity, Abe Wilson, the ex-collator from 1996, pointed out that "ho" was not permitted under the 1982 Chatauqua Convention, invalidating not only the title but the entire pivotal scene between Lenore and Walter. But Zenon Parks, the 1973 collator, countered that, since the novel's setting clearly replicates the 1
What do the words exigent, flagrant, and pharisaic have in common?
They were all used to describe my 700,000-word suspense novel, "The Minotaur and the Ho."
In absolute veracity, Abe Wilson, the ex-collator from 1996, pointed out that "ho" was not permitted under the 1982 Chatauqua Convention, invalidating not only the title but the entire pivotal scene between Lenore and Walter. But Zenon Parks, the 1973 collator, countered that, since the novel's setting clearly replicates the 1
Bad Query 8
Dear Mr. Editor,
The title of my novel, Forced Air, is two words long; the same applies to my name and my protagonist's, as neither of us, oddly enough, have middle names. My nom de plume, in the other hand, contains 8 words and 43 characters. I trust you will agree that I have made every word of my novel count, from my dedication (183 words) to my epilogue (3287 words). The novel itself is proportioned thus:
Introduction: 3
Prologue: 287
Description of Rob Hoover and other characters: 6921
Dramati
The title of my novel, Forced Air, is two words long; the same applies to my name and my protagonist's, as neither of us, oddly enough, have middle names. My nom de plume, in the other hand, contains 8 words and 43 characters. I trust you will agree that I have made every word of my novel count, from my dedication (183 words) to my epilogue (3287 words). The novel itself is proportioned thus:
Introduction: 3
Prologue: 287
Description of Rob Hoover and other characters: 6921
Dramati
Bad Query 7
Dear Wonderful Agent Man:
I'm enclosing the query for my children fiction fictional novel, "The Sunshine Kids Make Money."
As a child in Santa Monica, Ca, I often saw people at the beach. I longed to help them but with my working at my parents' T shirt business I was forced to watch while they wrinkled and shriveled, and while the beach patrons sizzled in the sun.
I currently work at the Children's Library as an unpaid aide. I wrote my story while in the library. You can see it at my website, where
I'm enclosing the query for my children fiction fictional novel, "The Sunshine Kids Make Money."
As a child in Santa Monica, Ca, I often saw people at the beach. I longed to help them but with my working at my parents' T shirt business I was forced to watch while they wrinkled and shriveled, and while the beach patrons sizzled in the sun.
I currently work at the Children's Library as an unpaid aide. I wrote my story while in the library. You can see it at my website, where
August 15, 2009
August 14, 2009
Feedback Request
The author of the book described in Face-Lift 627 has a new version. It's in the comments there, awaiting your input.
Success Story
Kiersten reports that she has just gotten a three-book deal with HarperTeen, for her novel Paranormalcy. No idea if we ever saw the opening, but Kiersten credits our assistance with her query for Flash with getting her the agent who made the deal.
Face-Lift 664
Guess the Plot
The Black Douglas
1. Genealogist Hamish McBride discovers that the legitimate heir to one of Scotland's clan chieftainships was included in the ill-fated Darien Scheme to colonize America in 1684. And he finds a direct lineal descendant, now living in Jamaica. But are the conservative Scottish clans ready for . . . The Black Douglas?
2. When Edgar Beaucoup buys the black-on-black, he's sure his millions were well invested -- until Taciturn Winters announces she created the hideous fa
Evil Editor's Blog
- Evil Editor's profile
- 6 followers
Evil Editor isn't a Goodreads Author
(yet),
but they
do have a blog,
so here are some recent posts imported from
their feed.
