Evil Editor's Blog, page 416

Face-Lift 665

Guess the Plot

Office Magic

1. He's the head of the company's IT department. She's the new girl in the office. He'll do anything to get her fired. She accuses him of plotting against her. If these two bitter enemies are going to take their relationship beyond incessant sex it's going to take a little . . . Office Magic.

2. There is blood, gore and mayhem as the tendrils of old black magic engulf a seemingly normal office environment. The unsuspecting coworkers band together in order to rid their cu

Face-Lift 664

Guess the Plot

Office Magic

1. He's the head of the company's IT department. She's the new girl in the office. He'll do anything to get her fired. She accuses him of plotting against her. If these two bitter enemies are going to take their relationship beyond incessant sex it's going to take a little . . . Office Magic.

2. There is blood, gore and mayhem as the tendrils of old black magic engulf a seemingly normal office environment. The unsuspecting coworkers band together in order to rid their cu

Cartoon 451

Caption: Blogless_Troll

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

The Zack Martinez Chronicles

As those who've been around here a long time (or have read the archives) know, amateur sleuth Miss Amelia Pettipants was once a frequent character in Guess the Plots. Miss Pettipants, created by Kate Thornton (who apparently doesn't visit us anymore), was so popular we spent a week compiling information about her for use in a writing exercise. That information is available on this blog; scroll down a bit as there's other stuff there too. Or skip it, no need to read it all if you don't care to.

In

New Beginning 674

What the fuck? That bastard just tried to kill me. This was the first thought that popped into my head when I regained consciousness. I pushed myself upright from the ground and wiped the dirt from my face. It was dark, and very hard to make out where I was. I could smell and feel the earth beneath me, I had to be outside. I looked up, but couldn't see the stars, something was obscuring their light. It is night - isn't it?

I wrung my hands together, trying to stop them from shaking, and felt the

Cartoon 450

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Writing Exercise Results . . .

. . . are in the posts below. The task was to write a query letter focused on one (and only one) standard (or substandard) aspect of query letters, that aspect not being the book's plot.

Bad Query 15

Dear Agent,

I am seeking representation for my novel, complete at 107,832 words, according to the word counter on Microsoft Word. However, I've checked it with two other online word counters, and they've given different values, of 108,011 words and 107,943 words.

I thought the inconsistency could be down to the way the different counters deal with hyphenated words - I have one character who stutters, saying things like "p-p-plastering", so that might be the problem. However, replacing that charact

Bad Query 14

Dear Agent Of My Dreams,

My novel makes Henry Miller's work look like a sexual wannabe out on a new angle hunt. Makes the Kama Sutra look like (and I do mean look like, since it's, as you may know, a picture book and all) the very visual daydreams of a bunch of newbies with pretzely ideas about how to do, you know…IT. (Plus their outfits, or piece of outfits, anyway, are nothing short of highly overdone, whereas I prefer the pictures in my reader's minds to go straight to the buck-naked point.)

Bad Query 13

Dear Agent:

Let's cut to the chase. I'm considered a good-looking guy. Very good looking. And if you know anything about publicity and the entertainment world, you know that looks is everything. Attractive people have an advantage in this world. How else do you explain the crowds who watch Anna Kournikova play tennis? Or that Keanu Reeves is a movie star? Why do the highest-paying modeling jobs always seem to go to good-looking people?

This phenomenon applies as well to the writing world. Good-loo