Evil Editor's Blog, page 317

Feedback Request

A new version of Face-Lift 784 (One Man's Treasure) was submitted, and is now awaiting your comments on Phoenix's blog: http://phoenixsullivan.blogspot.com/

Face-Lift 787

Guess the Plot

This Changed World

1. This morning it was sunny. This afternoon, it rained. How will mankind adapt to a world where water falls from the sky?

2. Vampires Gabriel and Michael move to the little city of Oskaloosa to harvest blood from the unsuspecting--only to find their home besieged by vampire-crazed teenagers. Maybe they should have stayed at that retirement home on Key West.

3. Only forty years ago, children would walk ten miles to school in the snow, uphill both ways, work 2...

Cartoon 670

Caption: Marissa Doyle

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

New Beginning 761

We don't actually take our clothes off.

I'm not saying it's never happened, I mean, you know, there's been once or twice when a girl's had a few too many brandies from that special bottle Mirabelle keeps behind the bar. But that could happen anywhere.

Shadowlife has been here since Paloma was a Spanish fishing village with just a couple of beach restaurants for the tourists. The day I turned 18, I walked in looking for a job. I told Mirabelle I was new to the Costa but this old bloke drinking w...

Cartoon 669

Caption: Anon.

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Face-Lift 786

Guess the Plot

The Crystal Throne

1. The Crystal Throne has stood empty for years, and the Gwillillylanders are looking for its rightful occupant. They won't stop searching until they've had a gander at every last American high school girl with middling popularity and a funny name like "Jelissa" or "Blayke."

2. When Emily Loving and her husband Jake move to Martha's Vineyard, they know it will be a struggle to keep up with their famous neighbors, until Jake turns his rock-cutting hobby into ...

Cartoon 668

Caption: Mother (Re)produces

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Writing Exercise Results . . .

are in the posts below. The task was to write a scene employing 20 words chosen by a random word generator. Also, some bad analogies.

20-word Challenge 6

The BARONET was getting old. He knew this to be true when his only reaction to the letter was "Damned SMART ALECK." He crumpled the CORRESPONDENCE and threw it at the trash BIN with the greatest fury he could muster.

He missed.

Moments like this made him feel like a WADING BIRD in QUICKSAND. He needed to find a way out, but only seemed to be digging himself deeper. And his time was growing short. He needed to RECTIFY this situation with great CELERITY.

His rise from a common man fighting the evi...

20-word Challenge 5

Like SHRAPNEL from a frog exploding in a FULL-BLOWN WINDSTORM, the flavenoids of Evil Editor's CRULLER exploded on the TRILLION GANGLIA in his tongue. He swallowed, then picked up the top query from his pile like a debutante removing a tick from her armpit and read the first sentence: Please consider for publication my study in CLASSICISM, a novel I modestly call BLENCH.

EE balled up the query and tossed it in the toilet, wondering if it would sink or FLOAT.

The next query was no better:

Dear Ev...