Evil Editor's Blog, page 302

New Beginning 774

Armageddon came slowly.

Imagine you are recently born, still new to this world, innocent. Feel the warm breath of your father calling you awake. Now open your eyes and realize you are alone. Everyone has left. If you hadn't been so absorbed in your own dreams you would have noticed, but here you are.

Where do you go now?

Picture the feather of a dead dove falling. And when it finally touches ground everything is gone, even you.

This is how Armageddon washed over the planet.

There was no cataclysmi...

Cartoon 704

Caption: Evil Editor

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
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Writing Exercise Results . . .

. . . are in the posts below. The task was to write a scene in which you visit Evil Psychiatrist.

Evil Shrink 3

Evil Editor entered the office and took a seat in the chair near the window.

Evil Psychiatrist stared at him for three minutes, then said, "I've noticed that the manic depressives always take the seat in the corner and the psychotic schizoids always take the seat near the window."

"Fascinating," Evil Editor said. "However, as I'm paying two hundred dollars to sit here and listen to myself talk, I prefer you reserve your bullshit observations for your next patient."

"Fair enough, assbait. What's ...

Evil Shrink 2

I had pictured 'E. Editor, M.D.,' as a short, grumpy man with mutton-chops. She was, in fact, a swan-necked beauty with upswept hair the colour of crushed berries.

"Please. Sit." She fetched a tray with steaming cups of tea and a plate of dark chocolate HobNobs.

"Wow. You must have happy clients." I sipped tea and bit into a HobNob.

"Oh, I do." She had such an unusual smile. It made all my worries recede in the same way a wolf does when it's already killed you and you're in the process of floati...

Evil Shrink 1

With one hand EE twirled his muttonchops and with the other drank his latte. Tiffany Turney sobbed into a pink hanky.

"Is there anything in particular that's making you sad?"

"I think writing is making me depressed. Some days I think I'm the Asti Spumanti of champagne; pink, sweet and cheap with a layer of raffia holding my ass on. My life is rejections, hundreds of rejection letters. Usually they dribble in like Satan's little sippy cup but this past month, at least one arrived every day. It's...

Saturday Film Series

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Face-Lift 805

Guess the Plot

Heir to the Sun

1. After a lifetime of surfing (and not a single day of work), Jay's totally bummed to learn that he's next in line to drive the big ol' ball of flaming gas. Clearly there's only one thing to do: con a homeless guy into taking the job.

2. When he learns that the sun's last will and testament leaves him the entire solar system, Larry's thrilled--until he finds out the sun won't die for another five billion years. Now Larry's looking for a way to speed up the pr...

Cartoon 703

Caption: Whirlochre

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
[image error]

New Beginning 773

Vivienne grabbed a champagne flute off a passing server's tray. The sweet rosé bubbles left a bitter aftertaste. A lick of her lips got rid of that lingering guilt, though it shouldn't have been there in the first place. She hadn't done anything yet.

The people sitting at the table near hers tittered again. Gossiping old women always provided decent blackmail material, but their clucking tongues and polite laughter brought a bitch of a migraine. They discussed scandals scandalous enough to ind...