Tabitha Caplinger's Blog: TabithaCaplinger.com, page 6

Have You Checked With Jesus?

As a youth pastor, students who spend any amount of time with me will inevitably hear me say that I believe self-assessment is a spiritual discipline. It becomes far too easy to become complacent in our own relationships with Jesus. We go to church, read our Bibles, find a routine, get stuck in a rut and don't realize that while we think we are good we really aren't. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about sin, about being bad. (Though sin can creep in.)You don't have to be BAD to not be GOOD. This isn't about losing our salvation after all, its about a personal relationship that is lacking...or dying. Because that's what Christianity truly is, not religion but relationship. I am not just a church-goer. I am, or at least want to be, a Jesus-follower. Following Jesus isn't always easy and sometimes we stop following Him and don't realize it. We were walking with Him, hand in hand. Then, one day, we look up and our hands are at our sides and we've sat down along the road (or ran ahead). There is now distance between us and Jesus and how much depends on a  lot of things, but is any distance between us and Him okay? I want to stay close and if I'm not it isn't because Jesus pushed me away. Staying close to Jesus means paying attention. Those same students who will tell you I talk about self assessment will also tell you it usually comes before or after me telling them that we shouldn't assume us and Jesus are okay until we have asked Jesus. The assessment of our personal relationship with Christ isn't a question we answer, but rather one we ask Him. Maybe it's not just one question, but many. Here are some to start with. 1. What am I withholding from Jesus?We all want to give it all to God but there are times fear and doubt or even selfishness keep us holding tightly to certain areas of our lives. We don't trust God with certain sections of us or we don't want to change certain things so we keep them in our own hands. But God wants all of us, holding back a piece of ourselves from Him only keeps us at a distance. Let go of those areas. God can be trusted with all the parts of you. 2. What have I entombed?In the story of Lazarus, Jesus seemingly gets there a couple days too late. Lazarus's sisters are understandably frustrated and broken. They tell Jesus if He had been there, their brother wouldn't be dead. We tend to look at their words with a little bit of judgement because we know the end of that story, but they didn't. Too often we offer God the same attitude without even realizing it.Something happened, we were hurt in some way and God didn't sweep in to the rescue like we wanted Him to. He didn't fix things like we think He should have, or we can't see His goodness in our pain and so we take that hurt and seal it behind a stone in our heart. The rest of us goes on like nothing is wrong but that piece is dying and the stench of death will leak out to the rest of our soul until we find ourselves at a distance from God because of anger, bitterness, or resentment toward others or even Him.God is standing outside that entombed place calling out to us, ready to heal. Let Him.3.  Where have I been looking?Comparison is a dangerous game. It gets us looking at others rather than at Jesus.After all, my ultimate goal, whether I will ever reach it or not, isn't to be like the best Christian in my church, it's to be like Jesus. But if I can see where I am better than so-and-so I feel better about my own shortcomings.Matthew chapter 7:3-5 basically tells us to stop it. I get that it can be appealing to point out all the little bits of sawdust in someone else and miss the whole plank in our own lives. It gives us a false sense of accomplishment. We can forget for the moment that we aren't as close as we used to be because we don't seem as far away from Jesus as our neighbor. But our perception is flawed and we are missing opportunities for our own spiritual growth by settling for just better than them rather than seeking all of God. Don't be so busy worrying (or judging) others and their view of Jesus that you lose sight of Him yourself. The flip-side of this is equally dangerous. We get our eyes on other Christians. We see how passionate they are, how deep their relationship appears, how much they seem to have it all together and we feel like we will never be like them. Without realizing it we pause in our own walk with God feeling like He could never love us the way He must love them. We see ourselves as disappointments to the Maker so we pull back from Him. Jesus isn't comparing you to anyone else. He will never ask you to be more like them, only to try your best to be more like Him. (In the words of my mentor, it isn't about perfection but direction, so be okay with being imperfect as long as you are keeping your eyes on Him.)4. Have I mistaken busy for better?As a person who's vocation is pastoral ministry I can struggle with this a lot, but it applies to all of us. We mistake ministry for personal relationship. Don't get me wrong, ministry is important and we are all called to it in some way. We should be sharing the Gospel. I think serving in your local church or volunteering in outreach and missions is so important. But those things should not and can not replace your one-on-one time with God. We can't get so caught up in attendance and small group leading and worship team singing, and all those other good things that we forget to open our Bibles and get on our knees daily. My nephew has said, "the devil doesn't need to make you bad if He can make you busy." Understand, the enemy is fine with you being busy with church stuff as long as you don't realize that you sat down in your personal walk with God. He doesn't need you to stop being a christian as long as he can get you to be a lazy one. I mean no disrespect, but for most of us, myself included, we work really hard at jobs and even at serving but we get real lazy when it comes to the daily work of this us and Jesus relationship. Why? Because we tell ourselves that it's ok but it isn't. It's good, but it isn't all that we need. Eventually it will no longer even be good. That area of ministry where we were once so fulfilled will become a place of misery because we left Jesus behind. We will get burned out on the thing we once loved. Maybe there are more questions. I guess the point of all of this is to ask them. I can only tell you to start with Jesus. Stop assuming that everything is okay, that you are exactly where you should be and doing what you should do and ask Him. Don't get fooled by good and assume that it equals God. Don't let comfort keep you from all that God wants for you. I know giving Him everything can be scary. I know forgiveness can be difficult. I know it can be uncomfortable to deal with our own failings. I know setting the right daily habits isn't going to be easy. It will all be worth it. 

The Hunted

Hi peoples!So I am super excited to introduce you to a new book! Like real excited.  Are you ready for it? Huh? Are you? Okay, well here it is...The Hunted, is the sequel to The Marked. (Emerald wrote this awesome post about The Marked and #LiveChosen.) Back to The Hunted.Basically, Myka Williams has been forced out of Knight's Academy and is on the run,.....constantly moving to keep the vampires off her trail until Preston's venom is no longer coursing through her veins. But she isn’t alone. Brent Jacobson is her protector, training her and teaching her how to be the werewolf she’s destined to be. He's annoying, stubborn—and hot. But there’s something he isn't telling her.Myka has to come face-to- face with the truth of who she really is. Will she find safety, or will she always be hunted? I LOVED The Marked and am halfway through The Hunted and on the edge of my seat. I've already wanted to punch Preston in the face, been torn between Milo and Brent and had a nice surprise. If you like  cool, fun, slightly intense stories with a supernatural twist then you should dive into The Knight's Academy series. Like, now! (The Mother of Dragons says so.)Emerald Barnes resides in a small town in Mississippi and has the accent to prove it. She’s an auntie, a youth leader, a Whovian, a little bit of a nerd, a reader, a writer, and a family-oriented person. God is number One in her life, and she thanks Him continuously for His love and favor. She’s addicted to tv and binge-watching shows, and she has a thing for superheroes.Connect with Emerald:WebsiteBlogPinterestFacebookTwitterStreet TeamInstagramGoodreadsPurchase The Hunted on Amazon or add it to your Goodreads TBR list. SaveSaveSave

For The People With A Prodigal

I was reading the story of the prodigal son recently. It's a story I am familiar with. I've heard it hundreds of times in church throughout my life.  Some things struck me this time though. Now, prepare yourself for some major conjecture on my part, I am not trying to read into Scripture what isn't there, but there were things I found curious. The father (and brother for that matter) didn't go check up on the younger son. He didn't send him more money or bail him out of his circumstances. He didn't rescue him.  Now, the Bible doesn't tell us that the father even knew what the son was doing, or that he had run out of money and was living with pigs. Perhaps he didn't know. We do know this father loved his son though, so wouldn't he have tried to check? Wouldn't you? And if you did know that your kid was living with pigs wouldn't you help them? (I told you there would be conjecture on my part here.) To be fair, times were different. The father in this story couldn't pick up his smartphone and just text his son. He couldn't google him. But I think the fact that the father didn't make the effort to rescue his son from his own choices is an important thing to note. I'm going to make this clear before I move on so there is no confusion. I think we should reach out to help people when we can, even if it makes us uncomfortable. But I also think there is a big difference between helping someone and enabling negative behavior. Sometimes the best help we can give a person is letting them come to the end of their rope because that is where they will find Jesus. "You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." Matthew 5:3 MSGSo what's my point in all this? We all deal with prodigals. As believers, we will have people in our lives, people we love, who we want to come to have relationship with Jesus and they will wander(or stay) far off. Maybe it'll be your child, your sibling, a friend. There will be someone. I was praying for one such person in my life recently and I felt like God dropped this little nugget into my heart...The hardest thing to come to terms with is that someone you love may simply not want Jesus. You can't want it for them. You can't force it on them. That is the beauty of God and His love. We have choice in it. Even if it means choosing to reject it. It is heartbreaking and by no means should we stop praying and loving and doing our best to show someone who Jesus is. I am not suggesting we simply give up on someone, I am saying we need to have the right perspective on our part and God's.  (Spoiler alert: God does the saving, not us.)We can't, or at least shouldn't, blame God because someone doesn't want Him. But we do. We think God isn't showing up. We shouldn't be mad at prayers we think are unanswered when it's not God who isn't responding. But we do. We assume because their situation isn't changing God must not be listening to us or that He isn't doing anything. After all, in this parable the father isn't us, it's God, and His love for the prodigal never ceases, but He is patient and waits, even longs for them to come to Him because love can't be forced. (It's also important to note that God isn't about enabling our bad behavior either. He isn't in the business of bailing us out or making us comfortable. One of my fave quotes, that I think is by Andy Stanley is, "you can't pray your way out of situations you behaved your way into." I think God will help us through the consequences of our choices but He usually won't remove them. That isn't love because it doesn't help us mature. Fixing everything for our kids makes spoiled brats. God knows this. He also knows that it's our choice to accept His help. Ok, moving on...)The father in this story had no doubt raised both of his children the same way. One stayed and one wandered. I am sure there was pain and frustration in that. But it wasn't about the father, it was about the sons. In the end each individual is responsible for their choice. That is God's divine design. My job is to share His story and show His love. I can do no more. I have two beautiful daughters who I am trying to raise to be godly women. I try to be an example for them. We talk about Jesus. We go to church. We pray and read our Bibles and talk about our choices. I can do all of this and one of them could still choose to grow up and not want Jesus. It would be heartbreaking for me, but it would be their choice. It has to be their choice. I want it to be their choice because I want their relationships with Jesus to be authentic and genuine, not just a byproduct of having pastor parents. I don't want to raise Christian robots but girls who are deeply in love with Jesus. That's risky. We can't walk in fear. I can't be afraid of failing. Fear will usually create the result we were afraid of to begin with. I also can't second guess everything I do (or did). "Well, if I had just done this differently, or if I had said this and not that, if, if, if... if I (you fill in the blank) they would have chosen differently." That probably isn't true and all serves no purpose in my life or their's. I try to be the mother God wants me to be, I am far from perfect at it, but God is bigger than me. He fills in all my gaps. He fills in yours too. See, we have a responsibility to people and the Gospel but we are not responsible for them. Their choices are their own. They have to want relationship with Him. We can't make excuses for why they don't, because when they do want it, really want it, they will start seeking and God will be found. His Holy Spirit is more than able to reveal and guide and teach. God is bigger. He can speak. He is speaking. But the choice is theirs. I don't know who your prodigal is, your child, or sister, or friend. I'm sure you look at moments in your relationship with them and have regret or fear that you could have done more. Stop it. Right or wrong you can't go back, only forward. Right or wrong the choice would still be and still is their's. Right or wrong God is the one who draws all men unto Him, you just get to help a little. So pray.Love.Let the Holy Spirit do what only He can.Let the rest go because it isn't for you to hold anyway. PS: Don't forget He is bigger and can do it without you, so your imperfections in the relationship can be superseded by His perfect love and grace. So forgive yourself for things you might have messed up and stop worrying about the things you didn't do. God loves the prodigal in your life more than you do. He won't let your shortcomings stop His Holy Spirit from reaching them. Give yourself a break. It's okay to let go and let God. He is quite trustworthy. PPS: Sorry that this was all a huge ramble and feels a little like a hot mess. :)

I Think I'm Having an Elephant

In January I deemed 2017 my year of promise. After a lot of prayer that word was resounding in my head and heart. I felt like this would be the year I would see something happen, the harvest, if you will, of all my efforts. We're half way through the year and I find myself beginning to wonder. Had I misheard God about this year? Had I misheard Him about His actual promises to me and what my harvest would look like? I started the year with such hope for rain and yet I still feel like I am smack dab in the middle of a drought. But...I don't know about you but I love it when God shows up with a but...but, THERE IS A CLOUD.I have been reminded (thanks in part to Elevation church and this awesome sermon by Steven Furtick) of the story in 1 Kings 18 where Elijah was waiting for rain and sending his servant to look for signs of it coming. Six times the servant climbed and saw nothing. The seventh time there was a small cloud. I feel like I have been doing a lot of climbing and not a lot of seeing signs of the promise. The last couple of weeks there has been a cloud. It's small. It seems insignificant. It's there. It is reminding me that my dream isn't dead. "At this moment in your life, all evidence may be pointing to drought, but a drought doesn't have to mean the death of your promise. It may just simply mean delay."-excerpt from YouVersion devotion by Elevation ChurchDon't get me wrong, delay is hard. It's not fun. But there is purpose even in our delay. I am doing everything I can to keep myself focused on God and letting Him do the work in me that He deems necessary so that I will be prepared when the promise does come. I don't like it mind you, but I'm doing it. It doesn't make the delay any easier to bear. Then God gave me another "but".I came across a post on Facebook. It talked about a dog and an elephant getting pregnant at the same time. After 18 months the dog had given birth to several litters of puppies while the elephant had yet to give birth once. The dog wondered if the elephant was even really pregnant. The elephant told the dog that she wasn't carrying a puppy. That she may only give birth  once every two years but, "When my baby hits the ground, the earth feels it. When my baby crosses the road, human beings stop and watch in admiration, what I carry draws attention. So what I'm carrying is mighty and great."That screamed to my heart. I'm not boasting, truly. I am not great, only God is. But He planted something in my heart a long time ago and I have been waiting for it to come to pass. I have been waiting for the promise to be fulfilled. I have felt so many times like maybe I was wrong about it, like I wasn't even pregnant so to speak. I have wanted to give up under the assumption that my dream had died in this drought. I read that post and it was like God said, "Oh no, it's just not time yet, it's still growing. Don't lose heart. You're having an elephant and when it hits the ground the earth will feel it.""When it hits the ground, the earth will feel it."This inspires and terrifies me all at once. So much so that I wasn't going to share it. But then I thought maybe you are in the same boat. Maybe you've been carrying a dream around for so long that you have begun to wonder if it was even really from God because nothing is happening. I would say to you to keep checking the sky because if there isn't a cloud now, there will be. God always sees His promises through. Don't be discouraged by delay. Maybe, just maybe, you're having an elephant too. 

Confession Time

*Warning: brutal, vulnerable honesty ahead.*I am a horrible person. Okay, maybe that's dramatic but it's how I feel sometimes. Here's the thing, I want to be holy and humble and like Jesus but I fail, especially when it comes to writing. I would have never thought that the green-eyed monster lived in my own heart until I became a writer. (For the record it still feels weird to call myself a writer or author or to talk about my writing because I feel like it's prideful. But my battle for humility will have to wait for another time.)Jealousy. It's an ugly word. I don't like the way it feels. I don't want to wear it, but often it shows up like a devil on my shoulder. More accurately it's a snake slithering around my thoughts, constricting my spirit until it suffocates my dreams. * A fellow writer has a higher Amazon ranking and I get jealous. * A friend seems to be getting more attention for their book and I get jealous. * A person I love is getting favor on their work and I get jealous. I could be more specific. I could give you more examples but I think you get the point. See, I told you I was horrible. Please know, I want my friends, authors or not, to be successful in their endeavors. I truly am happy for them when good things happen in their careers. But I'm also afraid those things won't happen in mine. That's the root of jealousy...fear. It's not that I don't want them to succeed. I am simply afraid I will fail. That fear wraps around me and it gets hard to breathe. My soul aches as it fights for another gasp of air. I panic. I try to think of all the things I'm doing wrong or not doing. I scramble to solve a problem I can't even name. In the middle of it the joy and passion I have for this God-given dream of writing wanes. "Stop viewing other writers as a threat to your career. You are your only adversary." - J.A. PattersonI know the answer to my fear and jealousy. I know that trusting God is the key. It's hard. See, writing for me is part of my purpose. I know it. Since I realized that I had stories to tell and that God could use those stories I can't stop writing. It's one way I #LiveChosen. But knowing your purpose and living for your purpose are not without trials. This new adventure has pulled back a layer and revealed something there I don't like. It's something God doesn't like. But He loves me. I believe God wants me to write stories. But I know he cares more about who I am than what I do. So in the midst of my obedience to step out in this publishing world, the Maker is maturing me further, so I can do more in His world. It's painful at times. It makes me want to give up. I won't. Instead I will remind myself to trust His plans for me. Yes, I have to remind myself. When you can't see all the steps to the plan, or the timeline, or even the finish line you will need reminding too. That's okay. God doesn't mind because He understands. He is patient with me, probably more patient than I am with myself. I am still learning to be patient with Him. SaveSaveSave

The Girl Who Could See

You know the old saying, "you can't judge a book by its cover?" Yeah, well, we all know that isn't true. I mean it is as far as it relates to people, but when it comes to actual books the cover says something. (Not that it can't be wrong but you know you look at that cover and judge.) When I saw the cover to The Girl Who Could See I knew I had to read that book. I mean it's so pretty!!! (Scroll down and look at it and then scroll back up, I'll wait...See what I mean? PRETTY!!! Also I have read it and it is so good and my review will be posted on Amazon for you to check out.)Anyway, enough gushing over its gorgeousness. I was honored to be invited to join the launch team for TGWCS and support its release. I am always happy to support other authors and I am excited because today I get to interview Kara Swanson. EEK!!!Hi Kara!!!!Tell us a little about yourself. I'm a twenty (almost twenty-one!) year old who enjoys walks in the mountains and watching a good Marvel movie. I like my coffee cold--and very sweet!--and my ideal day is spent at a Barnes and Noble.  I tend to seem to spend a lot of time in remote places, which I suppose just feeds my wild imagination. I spent my childhood (sixteen years) overseas in the jungles of Papua New Guinea. My parents were missionaries. I was homeschooled, which added fuel to the fire of my love of words. And with raising eight wallabies, going barefoot on hikes into dense tropical areas, and playing tag with ebony-skinned children on our grass airstrip, I was not at a lack for story ideas. Although I write YA fantasy/sci-fi, my unique childhood has definitely been woven into my stories. :)How did you get started writing?Since I was young, it's just been something I've always done. I love to create--worlds, characters, plots.  Being homeschooled, my Mom was able to cater a bit toward my aptitude for the written word. It wasn't till I was seventeen, and ended up co-authoring a fantasy novel (Pearl of Merlydia-- Available on Kindle) with a fellow missionary kid, that I finished a full-length novel. It showed me that I could do this, And I haven't stopped since.Tell us about The Girl Who Could See, what inspired this story?Two lines that popped into my head one day, begging to be told:They say every child had an imaginary friend.Mine never left.(If those two lines weren't enough to peek your interest in TGWCS the full blurb is below. But seriously, those two lines are epic.)Fern is caught between two worlds so to speak, but she wants to be normal. I think we can all relate to feeling different? How do you think Fern's struggle with her "hallucinations" affects her view of herself? How does that help and hinder her finding and living out her purpose? Fern has a very low view of herself. She's very hesitant, but still strong. She's afraid to ever fully trust in something, because it could be taken from her. She's desperately afraid of standing out. Of being different. Becuase all her life being different has equaled pain. So she tries as hard as she can to blend in. To float along and just survive. I think that's a defense mechanism we've all used at some point. Pulling into ourselves, head down, not speaking out. Doing whatever it takes to be invisible, because the alternative could be so much worse. But, throughout the unfolding of the novella, Fern comes to realize what I did--that just because she's breathing doesn't mean she's living. That her whole life has been governed by other people's view of her. When they told her she was crazy, and worthless and hopeless, she believed them. But, when she is put in a position where she can no longer hide, when she has nothing left but to embrace the impossible, then she realizes that those words were only words. They didn't define her, until she let her heart believe them. When Fern embraces the very things that make her different, she comes to realize something--those differences are the very things that make her feel alive. They're what give her life purpose. And those differences are what make her exceptional. What do you think we can learn from Fern about how to #LiveChosen?Blind faith is one of the biggest things that I think Fern has taught me. The kind of faith that invades every area of your life. That gives you a solid foundation when the storms come, that shapes your view of yourself and the world. Fern thought she was broken because that's what her parents and everyone she met had told her. But when someone comes along who sees her differently, who tells her she's actually whole and she has the blind faith to believe him, it totally changes her entire perspective. Of herself. Of her world. Of her purpose. Becuase she's no longer living just to survive, just for herself. She's now living for so much more.You grew up with missionary parents, how did that affect your view of yourself, life, your purpose? Were there struggles that made it difficult to find yourself/ your purpose? Were there things about that kind of childhood that made living chosen come more readily?Well, I think in some ways growing up surrounded by ministry, immersed in it, I knew what my purpose was. To glorify Jesus. To spread His truth. That's what my parents poured their lives into doing, and that's what I tried to mimic. But, at the same time, it made it difficult to determine what exactly God had gifted me for. Sure, I could find lots of ways growing up in the tribe to try and glorify Him. But that's because I'd practically been born there. It was natural to follow in my parent's footsteps--but less natural to branch out on my own. To find out what I had been called--chosen--to do. What path I had to tread myself. My love of unique worlds and finding unusual ways to spread His truth soon morphed into a  passion for creating speculative novels for Young Adults. To use my words and draw people into a new perspective of themselves and their world. I also work at a camp for abused foster kids, and have a huge heart for troubled teens, which has definitely been impacted by living in a third world country and being very familiar with abuse, neglect and poverty. So I am hoping to be able to somehow pursue a ministry in that way as well. To be able tor each out with His lasting Hope to those who feel like they've never belonged. Moving as much as I have, I can understand the struggle, and hope that the lessons and hope He's given me can be shared to them :) I'm also planning on becoming a journalist! Another way my story can touch hearts :)What does living chosen mean to you? How do you #LiveChosen in your life?Well, my super long answer above kind of answers that :) For me, to #LiveChosen is to give my everything for the One who gave everything for me. To live unabashed, unafraid in the knowledge that He has a purpose--a miraculous, vivid, life-changing purpose--for me. To use my brokenness, and my scars to heal others. To remind them that He can use anyone. No matter how broken. How incompetent. How you may feel like you don't fit in. Like you're not enough. Because you are--He CHOSE you. His choice. His view of you is all that matters. His strength changing and using you. In His eyes, you are more than enough.And that changes everything. :)If you, and/or Fern, could give readers one piece of advice on living for your purpose on purpose what would it be?Cut loose everything slowing you down. The things that won't ultimately matter--their opinions, trying to fit in, trying to please them. And step into the new light of living dangerously for Him. Take every opportunity to #LiveChosen--to change a life. To speak out. To walk through the doors He places in your path. To live fearlessly. Trusting when you fall, He will catch you. Because you have been chosen for a purpose, so don't let the meaningless things slow you down. Trust that wherever He takes you--to a jungle far away, your next door neighbor, or behind an editor's desk--that He will use you to change lives. If you'll let Him ;)All her life Fern has been told she is blind to reality—but, what if she is the only one who can truly see?Fern Johnson is crazy. At least, that's what the doctors have claimed since her childhood. Now nineteen, and one step away from a psych ward, Fern struggles to survive in bustling Los Angeles. Desperate to appear normal, she represses the young man flickering at the edge of her awareness—a blond warrior only she can see.Tristan was Fern's childhood imaginary hero, saving her from monsters under her bed and outside her walls. As she grew up and his secret world continued to bleed into hers, however, it only caused catastrophe. But, when the city is rocked by the unexplainable, Fern is forced to consider the possibility that this young man is not a hallucination after all—and that the creature who decimated his world may be coming for hers.BUY THE BOOKAdd it to your GOODREADS ListsCONNECT WITH KARA:Find Kara online at karaswanson.comFacebook: Kara Swanson, AuthorTwitter: @kara_authorInstagram: @karaswanson_author

I #LiveChosen- Sammy Jo

No one thinks it's going to happen to them. It's the optimism principle. We watch as all these horrible things happen to those around us but never think the shoe will be on the other foot…until it is. My mom flew in to meet me at the hospital, that's why I knew it was serious. I remember the nurse grabbing me to ensure that I wouldn’t fall as they watched my heart monitor skyrocket when I stood up. Standing. It was something so simple you never thought it would be hard, babies even do it. Why, after 24 years of life was that changing? I cried alone in my bed that night after my mom turned the lights off. I had spent hours dizzyingly googling all the things I could find about this thing called POTS syndrome. I looked through the articles about how some had these insane stories of hope and people growing out of it and others ended up on feeding tubes and couldn’t live their lives the way they wanted any more. Others quit their jobs and ended up permanently disabled. I prayed I wouldn’t end up in those last two categories.I couldn’t end up in that category. I wouldn’t. I mean, I had my whole life. I was a photo editor, a climber, an outdoors enthusiast. My whole idea of fun involved running trails, scaling mountains and traveling to foreign countries to climb and adventure. Weren't things like this supposed to happen to people who were lazy? I was the kid whose parents friends deemed them the crazy wanderer, one of them even bestowing me with the nickname Gypsy Jo because she never knew which state I would be in next. I took care of my body. Why wasnt it taking care of me? My life became different after that. I could no longer cover football games because it was too long to walk without passing out. Grocery shopping became this timed sport to see how fast I could get in and out before the clock struck 12 and I would hit the floor and I couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without stopping half-way through to sit and try to regain my balance. Worst of all I was mad at God. I remember ranting one day asking, haven’t I had enough? A year prior I survived a rollover accident that left me with damaged muscles that never came back. Doctors told me I wouldn’t climb like I used to, but I climbed harder, came back stronger. I began to wonder if that was even possible this time. I began to doubt it.I know this post is supposed to be about being chosen. But the truth is, we are all chosen. We can look at so many places in the bible and realize that. God did choose us despite our flaws. He chose Rahab, a prostitute, Peter, who denied him three times, Paul, who persecuted Christians, and Martha (who like me) worried about literally everything. At the end of the day, though, those people chose God. I knew that despite my anger, I needed to do the same thing. Trust and faith are two very different things. I had faith, but did I really have trust?No matter what, there will be trials in your life, and sometimes they feel like they keep rolling through like an April thunderstorms in the south. But that choice to choose him back is all ours. And I think that's really beautiful. I have a small tattoo on my wrist of a heart and cross intersecting which I got after a Bible verse in Philippians kept popping up in my life. “Though my flesh and my heart may fail, God is my strength and my portion forever." It has become my reminder to trust, to keep going and only look back to realize how far I have come. For whatever reason, God placed some of the most beautiful people in my life who wouldn’t let me give up. God gave me Weston, who helped me hike again, even though it required him to stop every 5 minutes and carry both his pack and mine. God gave me Rachael who got diagnosed with the same syndrome and we struggled together, building each other up until we could climb smaller things then bigger things. God gave me parents and a sister and friends who would go to the ends of the Earth to be there for me and make sure I had the best medical care we could find for a syndrome that not a ton of research has been done on. And God gave me the most understanding work staff who gave me the time and the encouragement to continue the job that I had worked so hard to achieve. It has taken nearly a year, and I am still nowhere near where I used to be. But in two days I leave the country to go attempt my first climbing expedition again outside Paris and in Switzerland. I take anywhere from 6-10 pills a day to function and I still struggle…a lot. Thankfully I rarely have to use the handicapped parking sticker that was given to me and most days I try to walk a little father and go a little longer. But giving up is never an option. Maybe I won’t be that same climber I was before. Maybe I will get stronger. Maybe I won’t, nothing is guaranteed except maybe the amount of hard work it is going to and has taken. But I have the best people in my life, and I have God. And for that, I live chosen. Sammy Jo Hester is an editorial photographer currently based in Utah. All photos copyright Sammy Jo Hester, The Daily Herald in Provo, The Saginaw News, The Flint Journal, and US Army Cadet Command. (She is also one of my former students and I couldn't be more proud of her.)See more of her awesome work on her website. I hope that this past month of #LiveChosen stories has inspired and encouraged you. No matter where you are or what you are going through you have purpose...YOU ARE CHOSEN. Thank you for joining us this month, and this is your last chance to enter the GIVEAWAY!

I #LiveChosen- Aubrey

Was I chosen from the start?Did He really know my heart?Both can be answered with a nod.An act of the one and only:God.  At 12 years old I was lost.Little did I know I was soon to be found.For with just the raise of a handI accepted Christ.In that moment the World remainedUntamed and unashamed.Children running to and fro.But where He was I would later know. I waited for a hand to touch my heart.Waited for a tiny little spark. The answer,ever so faint,came to me days later.At the time I thought He'd become a traitor.I hadn't verbally heard from Him,nor had I noticed His bright light. Until that night. Youth events were so intimidating.I sat in the back row AloneListening as Worship played.And then,I prayed. For a sign to come out of the dark.Something to signal a new start.It was then I realized,I was Chosen.This crazy lady on stagesaid something about my purpose. I was designed for such a time as this.Surely it was just a hit and miss. The sermon was not aimed at me,Could it really be?Then I felt a rush of reliefAs if I finally had been granted peace.Only lasting a momentI knew that something had happenedAbove all else, I knew it was Him.Here I am, 4 years after having my first encounter with God. At the time I wasn't sure the whole idea was real.Now, I can look back and think,"What a steal." To walk away without a scratchAnd He,Having held it all on His back.For me.For my mistakes I have yet to make. You see, He never promised an easy life. He made sure to mention the strife.But what we seem to forget is His never ending love.Sometimes I just need a shoveIn the right direction not aiming toward my own perfection, but instead,His. He is the only one unflawed. Because of that I will always be in awe. How do I live chosen?I remember what He's done.For me, for you, for us. Bad days come and go. Yeah, occasionally it's hard to knowhow He is moving in our lives. We must remember there was a price.There is no "have to's" There is no "you must's"To get into the kingdom.You and I,Come from the same one up above.But what Father shows more love?Didn't you just love Aubrey's poem? My husband and I get to be her youth pastor's and are so proud of her. We are almost to the end of our #LiveChosen month but you can still enter the GIVEAWAY!!! 

I #LiveChosen- Sarah

Five years ago I told God I would do anything for His name. Of course, my definition of anything was slightly different from what He has called me to do. When I said anything, I meant the shallow end of the water. I wanted my feet safely and firmly touching the bottom. However, God called me into the deep waters of a calling I often do not feel ready for in the first place.Five years ago, I told God He could have me but I made the mistake of giving Him conditions to that calling."Lord," I called out to Him. "Use me to reach the lost, the hurt and the broken. I will go where You call, but Lord, please don't make me talk in front of others."I can almost see God leaning over, smiling as I gave Him the safe parameters to my calling and saying, "Challenge accepted."For the past three years (at best) I have been speaking and ministering. And every time I get up to speak, I get butterflies in my stomach. I wonder why God called me, an awkward and quiet woman without a theology background and strongly in need of elocution lessons.In other words, I have a severe Moses complex.If you aren't familiar with what I mean, let me explain. There's this man in the Bible and his name was Moses. He had a large role in bringing the Israelites out of captivity. Before reading his account, I would have assumed he was a man of confidence and great ability. A man who would have boldly stepped into the deep waters.However, when God calls Moses to led, he responds fairly unsure of himself. "Pardon your servant, Lord, but send someone else." (Exodus 4:13 NIV)In other words, can't someone else do it, Lord? Moses goes on to explain, "I can't do it! I am a clumsy speaker! Why would Pharoah ever listen to me!" (Exodus 6:30 NIV)Oh, Moses, I totally understand your reservations! When God called me to write my book, Walking the Talk, I confidently sat down and began pounding out my thoughts on the keyboard. But I never expected God to ask me to step out deeper and actually speak...in a microphone....in front of actual people....while they  stared at me!And to say I am always comfortable in this calling would be an absolute lie. In fact, I complain a lot to God, asking Him, much like Moses did, why He called me. But here is what I am learning about the deep waters.God is there in the deep where I cannot stand alone. He isn't looking for the best swimmer, just someone who trusts Him enough to swim out in the deep where they can't touch bottom.God will provide the necessary tools I need to complete the call. Sometimes it might be in the form of an Aaron or a miracle, but it will be HIM and not me. Sometimes, I still feel myself desperately wanting to go back to the shallow end, to be an observer of God's miracles, not part of them, but we are all called to share the Good News. We are all called to the middle of the deep in and if we are so brave to swim out, He will be there ready to equip those He called. What keeps you from trusting God in the calling He has placed on your life?Sarah is a Christian Author and Speaker.She wrote the parenting book, "Walking the Talk: A Parent's Guide to Intimacy and Healthy Relationships" and maintains the blog A Life Inspired. Her passion is to equip the next generation of families to speak boldly and walk confidently in their faith and charge as parents. You can stay up to date with Sarah on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.Connect with Sarah via herwebsite.You can also find Sarah's book, Walking the Talk,here. Thanks for joining us. I hope you're enjoying this series and all the #LiveChosen stories as much as I am. We aren't done yet! But don't forget to enter theGIVEAWAY!!

I #LiveChosen- Kelly

Kelly is a booktuber, aspiring author and lover of Jesus.You may follow her at:instagram:@kellysbookspillTwitter:@kellysbookspillSnapchat:kaybee0703Facebook:facebook.com/kellysbookspillThanks for watching Kelly's #LiveChosen story. I hope through this month you have been inspired to discover and live for your purpose on purpose. We still have a week left so stay tuned and don't forget to enter theGIVEAWAY!!!