Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 43

You Don’t Have to Know All the Answers (In Fact, It’s Better if You Don’t)

From the get go, we are taught to be planners, to think ahead, and to foresee how our futures will look. Many of us look at life like an equation. If I do this, this, and this, it will equal a desired outcome. In theory, this all is completely rational, but in reality, we know that this is not how life works, and I promise you, that’s for the best.

I used to be a person who always wanted (or better yet needed) to know how things were going to unfold. Ranging from the most minute to the life changing situations, I’ve always wanted to know all the answers. Even though it’s wonderful to be informed and in the know, some of the most stressful situations of my life have stemmed from desiring to know it all, and not surrendering to what is.

There may be many uncertainties in life but there are also infinite possibilities. It is impossible for us to know how our days will come and go, and I think it’s better this way. The truth is, if we “knew it all” life would be so much less interesting. When we have such a tight grip on how we think our lives should look, we block out the guidance of the really magical lives that are waiting for us.

My main point of this week’s blog is to just let go a little bit, to not think so much about how things will unfold, and to just be. I know this may sound like a lot to ask, but life just flows so effortlessly when you release the grip every once and a while.

If this all seems like a major struggle, I’ll give you a few easy starter tips below:

1. Live in the present moment. Instead of worrying about what is going to happen in the next 5 minutes, days, months or years, become totally consumed in what is happening in the now. One of my favorite quotes comes to mind that perfectly encapsulates this: “Be so busy loving your life that you have no time for hate, regret, or fear.”

2. Do your best at any given moment. When you are present and doing the best you can with what you are given you can have that faith that everything will work out as it should. Even setbacks or challenging situations have their purposes, in bringing forth the lessons we need to propel us forward, teaching us tools to carry through life.

3. Follow the signs and follow what brings you joy. I’ve set an intention this year to follow what’s joyful, and so far it hasn’t led me astray. There’s something to listening to your inner guidance system, and following the true joys in life. When it comes to big decisions where I feel like I need to know it all, I used to toil, make lists, and make myself crazy. Now I go by how I feel, what makes me feel most joyful, and what makes me feel most alive. It has made all the difference. As my teacher, Gabby Bernstein always says, “Lean towards joy, and you will be lead.”

4. Surrender. Have faith that life is unfolding exactly as it should. Sometimes we think we have to control everything for our lives to be perfect. We are always thinking that we know what’s best for ourselves in any given moment, but like I said earlier in this blog, there are infinite possibilities in this world that our brains cannot even possibly imagine. Let go of what you think life should look like, and allow yourself to be guided by the Universe.

I hope these tips help you get out of your head and into the flow of life! Let me know how you will start surrendering in the comments below!

xoxo, Michelle

The Importance of Accepting People Where They Are

I was recently in a situation where the actions of another person where confusing, hurtful, and frustrating for me. I spent so much time judging this person, being sad that this person wasn’t acting in a way that I expected them to, being hard on myself, and wondering what I could have done to make this person act this way. I have to interject that these are all behaviors that I know will only cause me more suffering, but I do believe that trying situations are always tests to see just how much we’ve learned on our paths in life.

I was working really, really hard to release this person and to forgive this person and for some reason I was having difficulty getting to a place of peace. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, where I a lesson from A Course in Miracles that changed everything: Accept people where they are. This concept shifted me out of a judging, ego mindset, and back into a loving, compassionate place. I immediately felt like I was viewing this person for the first time, and could see that they were simply doing the best they could in the moment. The charge was gone, and now I feel released from the mental anguish I was putting myself through over it. What a relief.

I then began to realize that incorporating this principle with every person we come in contact with would create so much more understanding and compassion in this world.

Acceptance of where other people are means ditching judgment and expectations of how you think people should act. It also means releasing the inferiority complexes we pick up at times when we feel more evolved spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. The truth is we will never fully know what is going on in someone else’s life. We don’t know the full truth and all their stories. Though at many times, we try to write our own versions of their stories to suit our ego’s best interest. I’m guilty of that as well.

What we do know for certain is that we are all just doing the best we can with the circumstances we are given. We’ve all been given very different lots in life, and so the way in which we handle what life throws us will be different. The major key here is that it is not our job to judge others for how they handle life, it isn’t even our job to try and change people to make them “better” or more tolerable. Our job strictly is to consistently live in our own light, love, and truth.

When we accept others as they are, we give them the space to find their own path and to learn their own truth. Just because we accept and love others as they are, does not mean that we have to participate in their stories or mentalities. With acceptance and compassion, come healthy boundaries.

If you’re struggling in a relationship or situation with another person, try switching your mindset to allow them to just be where there are on their path in this moment. Don’t try to change them, don’t allow yourself to get wrapped up in their story. Simply accept. Notice what happens, and let me know in the comments!

xoxo,

Michelle

How to Call in Love

We are all very aware that today is Valentine’s Day. No matter your romantic relationship status, this week we’re talking about how to call in real love. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or are single and ready to mingle, many of us crave an abundance of love in our lives.

The commercialism of Valentine’s Day leads us into thinking that “real love” consists of roses, chocolates, and sappy romanticism (which don’t get me wrong, I love all those things); however, real love is so much more than that. Love is manifested in so many forms and shapes. Love truly is the reason why we are here. We are meant to live our lives through the filter of love. So, if you, like me, desire to call in more love into your life, here are a few simple tips on how to do so:

– Infuse love into all that you do. Be present and mindful in your thoughts and actions. Be loving and compassionate in your everyday actions. Become a human embodiment of love.

– Love and completely accept yourself. We come into this world with nothing but pure love and compassion towards ourselves, but over time that dwindles away based on society’s harsh beliefs and demands. True love stems from your relationship with yourself. Make it your ultimate priority to be loving, kind, gentle, and compassionate with yourself. Don’t judge yourself based on appearances or social stature. Celebrate all that you are every single day.

– Be completely in love with your life; every single aspect of it. Even if you are enduring trying times (which we all do at one time or another) try to find the silver lining, the lesson, and maybe even the joy. It is when we truly embrace all of life that we become a magnet for miracles, and all of the love that we wish to harness.

– Treat everyone as you wish to be treated. Cliché but true. Be compassionate to strangers, go out of your way to be kind to those in need. Put out so much love into the world, that there is no other choice but for all the love to come back to you.

– Believe that you deserve love. I truly believe that in order to see it, you have to be it and believe that you can have it. Keep your thoughts positive, have faith, and know that love is always available to you.

I hope these little reminders are helpful for you guys! Remember you are all so loved! Send a love note to someone you’re grateful for today in the comments below. Let’s keep the love vibes flowing all day!

xoxo,

Michelle

How to Live a More Inspired Life

For the past few months, I’ve been on a kick to live a more guided, inspired life. Not to say that life before that wasn’t guided or inspired, but I’ve really intended to be more mindful, joyful, and in the flow of life. I truly believe that we are co-creators of our lives, our paths, and our destinies. I know that there are forces that cannot be seen that push us in the direction of our purposes and dreams, but I also believe in free will. Every single day we make thousands of choices that affect our life path and ultimately our destiny. I’ve incorporated some fun practices and tools that help get me in the flow of life. So, if you’re looking to tap in and allow yourself to be guided and inspired, follow these simple tips below:

1. Start your day in stillness. Before I do anything else in the morning, I take time for meditation and stillness. I find it’s the best way to connect with yourself, see what’s going on with you on that given day, and cultivate a relationship with your highest Self. In my meditation sessions, I often gain inspired ideas, actions, or even just feelings of forgiveness and relief. Meditation is the crucial gateway to living life in the flow of the Universe.

2. Be in conversation with the Universe. After meditation, I spend a few moments in prayer, which I like to think of as my personal conversation with the Universe. It is here where I set my intentions for the day and ask for guidance. Every morning I repeat a prayer from the metaphysical text A Course in Miracles, “Where would you have me go, what would you have me do, what would you have me say, and to whom?” This prayer immediately takes me out of my ego mind and taps me into spirit. It is my practice of surrender.

3. Be present always. Living in the flow means being present to the signs, synchronicities, and opportunities that life puts in your path. A difficult but fruitful practice is to try and do one task at a time. Be present in every moment, and you’ll begin to notice how the Universe communicates and guides you.

4. Surrender and trust. Another one of my favorite lessons from A Course in Miracles is “I do not perceive my own best interest,” meaning that we do not always know what’s best for us, but spirit does. Many times we control and hold on tightly to how we think our lives should look and feel, but when we surrender and trust, we open ourselves up to the infinite possibilities that could be better than our wildest dreams. Surrender and trust that the Universe is working in your favor.

I hope these tips help you! How do you live a guided and inspire life? Let me know!

xoxo,

Michelle

It’s Not Rejection, It’s Redirection

I’ll be honest with you. One of my biggest and longest standing fears is of being rejected. I’m sure many of you can relate to this. In all of my spiritual work, the one lesson that is always hard for me to follow is when I’ve been rejected (or felt as though I were rejected). I recently was in a situation where I felt rejected, and it brought up so many ugly thoughts, feelings, and emotions that I thought I had put to rest long ago. But as Pema Chodron so masterfully says, “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” And so, I stayed open to learning what rejection had to teach me this time around.

As we know, life is what we make it, and how we perceive it. We may not be able to control what happens externally, but we can control our reactions to it. In this situation, I decided it was finally time to reframe how I view rejection. What if being “rejected” is just simply a means for me to be redirected to something better? How much better does that feel to think of it this way? It helped me out, for sure. Here are some other helpful things to remember when you’re feeling rejected, I hope they help!

– Remember, it’s always this or something better. If you’re rejected from something, you’re being directed to something else. Stay positive and keep the faith that the good will come.

– Remember, nothing anyone ever does or says is ever because of you. If you’re feeling rejected from a particular person, take comfort in knowing their actions towards you have nothing to do with who you are or your self-worth.

– Remember, that sometimes we do not know what is in our own best interest. I learned this lesson from A Course in Miracles. Sometimes, we think we know best, but in honesty, we can never know the full story from all angles. Trust that the Universe has your back and is guiding you in the right direction.

– Remember, that even after all of this, if you’re still feeling down about not being accepted by a job, group, spouse, or friend, you are still amazingly capable, whole, and lovable. The right job, group, spouse, or friend will always show up when you fully remember and own this.

How do you handle rejection in your life? Have you ever had a situation where you were rejected from something only to be redirected from something even better? Let me know!

xoxo, Michelle

5 Things to Stop Doing…Right Now

This week’s blog is going to be short and sweet. Sometimes, I think it’s really effective! I’ve been taking a lot of time to go inward and reflect and journal lately, even more than usual. I’ve had a lot of ideas and really important lessons spring to mind because of it. When I learn something, I feel it so necessary to share with you. Sometimes so many words can water down the message, so here it is.

Five things that I’m vying to stop in my life, and things that I’m sure we could all stand to cut back on.

Check it out!

1. Comparing yourself to others, and that you have to be like everyone else. You don’t have to be like everyone else, darling. You’re unique for a reason. Don’t compare, don’t judge, just be.

2. Thinking that you’re always doing something “wrong”. We get into the headspace that we are always doing things wrong and that we have to fix ourselves. Did you ever stop to think that the things you’re doing “wrong” are part of the path to get doing things a little more right? It’s all for a purpose.

3. Believing life and the Universe do not love and fully support you. The Universe will support you as much as you are open and willing to trust and be supported. We all have the ability and capability of feeling and being this way. Open up to it.

4. Thinking that you are not enough right this very minute. Let’s live a life of abundance, shall we? The first step in that is believing that you are deserving and that you are enough, right in this very minute. You are not lacking anything; you are whole and complete.

5. Believing that you can not have what you desire. We are powerful beings; we can co-create anything we desire. Want to bring something into your life? Get clear, take action towards bringing it in, and allow the Universe to help you manifest. Keep the faith.

I hope this inspires you to cut some of these negative mental habits out of your life. Starting today! What else can you commit to today that will bring you happiness and inner peace? Let me know in the comments?

xoxo Michelle

Five Feel-Good Affirmations

As exciting as the first month of a new year can be, it can also bring up many challenges and difficulties. We’ve set our intentions and have high hopes for how life will unfold, and sometimes our thoughts can take us down negative paths when life doesn’t look the way we want it to. As we know by now, the thoughts of the mind are powerful. What you think, you create.

It’s natural for us to have negative thoughts from time to time; that’s just how life works. What’s important is to have the recognition and tools to nip the negativity in the bud and switch to a more positive, loving place. Fortunately, we have so many tools at our fingertips to help support a positive mentality. One of my favorites is affirmation repetition. The simple replacement from negative to positive through affirmations can create such a shift in your life.

Here are five-feel good affirmations that I’m using right now to help keep me on my joyful path. I hope they help you as much as they help me!

1. All is well.

2. I release the need to control and I trust life.

3. Everything is unfolding exactly as it should.

4. I am loved, I am safe.

5. I am being guided and fully supported.

What affirmations are you using right now? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo, Michelle

It’s Ok to Breakdown

Part of what I think makes our relationship (here on the blog) special, is that I can be honest and personal with you. This week’s blog is a perfect example of that. I know that I give tips and advice on how to live your best life week in and week out, but even with all of that, I am not perfect. Sometimes you can be doing everything “right” and still breakdown. I recently experienced a situation that placed me in major meltdown mode and taught me so much, which I am now sharing with you!

We are never finished learning and growing; there is always work to be done, and so, breaking down isn’t a bad thing. Sure it’s not pleasant, and it’s not always graceful, but there’s beauty in breakdowns as well. If we didn’t have the ugly and unpleasant moments, we wouldn’t have the comparison for the really high, happy moments. The breakdowns give us contrast and show us where our work still lies and where we have room to grow.

Breakdowns teach us valuable lessons, remind us that we don’t have to be perfect, and are a valid part of the journey in this life. If you’re feeling beaten down by a certain situation in your life, here are some helpful reminders that can help you persevere, overcome, and stay sane during the turbulent times!

* Don’t judge yourself; every situation we are given in life is brought for us to learn.

* Notice what the situation brings up for you.

* Allow yourself to feel the feelings; don’t try to rush through it.

* Be open to the lessons that are trying to make their way in.

* Don’t stay stuck in the negative; move forward into the positive.

* Remember to be gentle with yourself you’re doing the best you can.

I hope these are helpful for you! I’d love to hear how you deal with difficult moments in your life! Let me know in the comments below!

xoxo, Michelle

New Year, New Intentions!

Happy New Year dear friends! The holidays have felt like a complete whirlwind for me, with a range of emotions and feelings. By now you’ve probably had a chance to wind down a bit from the holiday excitement and are starting to settle into 2016 and how that feels for you. I’m really, really loving this New Year right now. There is something just so exciting about having a clean slate, and empowering yourself to choose how you want to live these next 12 months. We hear the words resolutions and goals this time of year, because it is a great time to get clear on what you want to create for your life. Unfortunately, resolutions and goals may sometimes get a bad rap because they now insinuate that there are things that you did wrong in the past that you need to “fix” in the new year. This year, I’m choosing to set intentions and to choose words that identify how I want to feel.

A few days ago, I had a dear friend ask me what my word for 2016 is. She told me that this year she decided to pick a word that served as her overarching intention for the year, rather than a resolution. I loved this idea! Words are so powerful, they have the ability to motivate, invigorate, and move us through this new year with grace, ease, and joy.

Here are some examples of words you can choose for your 2016:

Love

Kindness

Compassion

Peace

Joy

Focus

Gratitude

Stillness

Acceptance

Take some time today to sit and contemplate what word encapsulates how you want to feel or how you strive to be. You can even choose more than one if you’re having a hard time narrowing it down.

This year my word is joy. I am striving to have more fun, and to be more joyful in all areas of my life.

What is your word for 2016? Let me know in the comments! I can’t wait to see how this year unfolds for all of us!

xoxo Michelle

Making Ordinary Moments Extraordinary

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” Eckhart Tolle

Coming out of the holidays can be a bit of a struggle. As you’ve read these past few weeks, I really love the holiday season and I tend to place high expectations on how I wish for my holidays to play out. Once the holidays pass us by, it’s normal to feel a sense of lack- the excitement is over, and life may seem boring. I find it is really important to remember that we are in charge of creating our own destiny. Yes, we will have high moments and low moments, but what we do with the in between moments really matters a great deal. How do you treat the ordinary moments of your life? The day to day activities? Do you simply live for the high notes, or do you make the ordinary extraordinary? My wish this week is to share with you how I make ordinary moments feel extraordinary and how we can change our mindsets from the mundane to the spectacular.

1. Be present to how you feel in each moment. What is the present moment bringing up for you? As soon as you identify how you feel you can pinpoint your action plan. Get familiar with your feelings, as they are a roadmap to life.

2. Allow what feelings arise for you in any given moment, but remember you can choose how you proceed. It’s easy to get in a downward spiral when it comes to feelings, feel the feeling then remember that your thoughts create your reality, choose wisely!

3. Follow what excites you. Being in touch with your feelings you are able to notice what makes you truly happy. Follow these clues of what makes you happy from the inside out.

4. Find acceptance in what is. Difficult, but so important. We tend to live life waiting for the next big thing, and losing sight of what’s happening in front of us. Bring yourself back to the present, find peace in what’s happening in the now, and have gratitude for what this moment brings to you.

5. Remember that even “low” times have a time and a place. If we lived on a high for our entire lives we would never appreciate the good stuff as much due to lack of comparison. “Low” moments give us that comparison and the space to learn and grow.

I believe every moment is a chance to share our own magnificence. How do you choose to make your ordinary moments extraordinary? I would love to hear your thoughts below!

Wishing you a beautiful week!

Love, Michelle