Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 45

How to be your own best friend

“Let me tell you about my best friend”

Truth be told, I have that Harry Nilsson song stuck in my head as I write this week’s blog. It’s pretty perfect actually, because this week I’m going to tell you all about my best friend, which just so happens to be myself. Before you think I’m crazy, or anti-social, I promise you, it’s a good thing.

Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives here on earth, and I agree whole-heartedly in the value of true, best friends. I also believe that you have to be your own best friend, first. For a long period of my life I wasn’t my own best fiend, and to be honest, I wasn’t very happy. Now that I have flipped that switch, I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams.

Here are my top ways on how to be your own best friend:

Enjoy your own company. I know so many people who can’t stand being alone. I used to be one of those people. Now, I cherish the time I have to myself. I think one of the biggest things you could do for yourself and your life is learning how to like your own company. A great way to start that journey is through meditation. Spending as little as five minutes alone with yourself every morning, just sitting with yourself, begins the day ahead connected within to you; loving your time with you.
Incorporate a journaling practice. When you make time to put pen to paper and let your thoughts flow, you start to get connected with your inner world. When you have that sense of connection, you value, appreciate, and love yourself.You are actually “getting to know you.”
Take good care of yourself. We know self-care is important, treat yourself as you would your best friend. Let yourself rest when you need to rest, eat well, and be gentle with yourself. When you’re feeling great, you have all the inner power you need to tackle whatever comes your way in each day.

Start incorporating one or all of these three tips into your daily life, gradually you will start to feel more confident, more self-aware, and more independent. You definitely will have more energy, more clarity, and more sense of purpose. You will raise your vibration, and in doing so, you will begin to attract the same wonderfully, self-loving people into your life. True happiness starts with self-love. Be your own best friend!

Love, Michelle

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

My blog this week is a bit of an ode to coaches, therapists, counselors, and healers. The past few weeks I’ve really been reflecting on my life and where I came from and where I am now. I can say with 100% certainty that I would not be a fraction of the person I am today without the support, guidance, and wisdom of my coaches, counselors, therapists, teachers, and healers.

It used to be a little taboo to talk about asking for help and needing counseling. I’m so, so happy we are entering into an era where it’s normal, and even encouraged to ask for help when you need it.

Through working with my team of coaches and counselors I have learned to:

release limiting beliefs
gain self-confidence and cultivate self-love
discover my passions and purpose in life
speak my truth and shine my light
forgive people and situations who have been hurtful or traumatic
listen to my intuition and inner guide
and most importantly – to recognize that I am a coach myself!

Deep down, I think we are all coaches, in our own right. We all have passions and deep desires for what we wish to see in this world. When we connect with these desires, we project them out onto the world. Some of us do this in the financial realm, others in the arts, all are equally important.

In writing this blog this Marianne Williamson quote keeps coming to mind, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I extend my deepest gratitude to all the teachers and coaches who have walked with me on this path. They have helped me own my truth of being a coach. If you are coach or counselor, I bow to you for doing the amazing work that you do. If you’re curious about becoming a coach or healer I highly recommend it, the world needs your light!

Let me know in the comments section how coaches have helped you, and if you’re a coach yourself!

In the spirit of owning my truth as a coach, I’m so excited to offer you guys two exciting coaching opportunities with me and two of my most profound mentors!

The Whole Body Reboot:

I have been a certified, holistic health coach for three years, but haven’t fully stepped into that until recently, when my coach Allison Clay asked me to join her in a new whole body, whole life program dedicated to help you achieve your health and wellness goals in mind, body and spirit! If you’re interested in joining us on this beautiful transformation, shoot me an email and we can chat!

Spirit Junkie Masterclass Digital:

Gabrielle Bernstein has been a mentor and teacher of mine for nearly five years. Her work saved me when I was in my lowest of times, and inspired me to do the work I do today. I participated in her live Masterclass this past year and can truly say it was a life changing experience. She is now offering this program online, so you can access it from your own home, on your own time. I am thrilled to announce that when you sign up for Gabby’s program through Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, you’ll received a free, exclusive immersion training with Barb Schmidt and myself. If you’re interested in these amazing trainings, click here!

I can’t wait to see and hear all the amazing work you guys do in the world! Let’s be the change we wish to see!

Love, Michelle

How to live an authentic life

If you live in the spiritual realm, you hear the word authenticity thrown around a lot. Which in reality, is wonderful. What does living authentically mean? In my opinion, it’s living in alignment with you highest sense of self. What does that really mean? Follow these tips below to find out more and to start living your authentic lives today!

1. Connect with yourself daily. So you can know what’s truly authentic to you, find a few moments every single day to sit in silence to connect with yourself. There is so much going on in the outside world, take a few moments to go inside, and see who you really are. It is through connecting with yourself that you will discover your purpose, sense of self, passions, and clarity on what you really want in life.

2. Release societal expectations. A natural habit is to want to live up to expectations of those around us. Many times we do, say, and believe things strictly because those around us influence us to. Break away from the norm, but in a sense that feels good for you. Allow yourself to release the pressure to live up to a certain ideal from others and choose to live up to your own authentic ideal.

3. Drop comparison and judgment. We know that comparing and judging isn’t great for life. But do we realize that when we do these things we take away from our true selves? When comparing, we try to be like others, and when judging, we feel not enough. Release these toxic ways of thinking and incorporate more compassionate, accepting, and loving ideals.

4. Follow what feels good. When you follow the steps above, you become in tune with your soul and your body. Start noticing what feels good for you, and follow it. Notice when you make poor decisions and how that feels. Notice when you feel lit up with joy. These feelings in the body will guide you towards living a truly authentic life.

I hope these tips get you on your way to living an authentic life! Let me know in the comments some of your secretes to living authentically!

My #1 Block to Success and How I Overcame It

I would have to say that one of my biggest hindrances and blocks in my life so far has been self-doubt. It has been a pattern of mine, for most of my life, to live small, feel insecure, unworthy, and not good enough. I distinctly remember when completing my first yoga teacher training, at graduation, my teacher had us write down one thing that was holding us back in our lives, to be burned in a fire, as a ceremoniously way of releasing it. I wrote down self-doubt. That is how much of a hold it had on me.

Today I can say that I mostly live out of the shadows of self-doubt, and feel confident in my work and myself. I know that I have to feel this way in order to make the impact on the world that I desire. With that being said, I can also confidently say that I get caught up in the ego’s games of unworthiness from time to time. That’s just a part of life. The lesson when this happens for me now is to notice it, recognize that those thoughts are not real and are not based in love, and to remind myself to choose again.

I truly believe that every single one of you reading this blog today is meant to do great work in this world, we all have a unique purpose to be a light, in whatever vein we choose. If any of you are struggling with self-doubt, this week I offer you four quick reminders on how you step out of it so you can step into your full power as a light worker in this world.

Learn to love yourself. I believe self-doubt stems from not fully and completely loving and accepting yourself. Self-love is a journey, no doubt. We are all taught to remember why we aren’t enough instead of honoring the reasons why we are. Make it your number one priority to be completely in love with yourself, regardless of what is happening in your life.
Drop the comparison. For most of my life, I have compared myself to other people, and that in turn has blocked me from being the person I’m meant to be. Until now. Comparison really is just a waste of time, and robs you of your unique voice in this world. When I try to be like someone else, in hopes of “fitting in”, I in turn lose my own amazing sense of self. Honor others for the impact they have, but still maintain your authentic voice.
Lose the self-judgment and criticism. As you’ve heard from me a lot lately, judgment has also been a huge block for me. Many times I have judged myself for not being enough (good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, productive enough, etc.). I have also been super critical of my achievements. Just like comparison, this is a total waste of time and energy that could be spent creating the life that you actually desire. Remember that when you are judging and criticizing yourself, you aren’t loving yourself, and as we remember from tip #1, self-love is the only way.
Find mentors that inspire you. Surround yourself with people who will help lift you up, when you can’t seem to find the strength to do so yourself. I’ve found so many beautiful teachers in my life, who I can say for certain, have helped make me the person I am today. We are always learning in this life, so it’s so important to find those teachers who help guide you on your path.

I hope these tools help you find your way! As always, send me a comment below and let me know your thoughts on this topic. If you’re looking for more guidance on breaking down the blocks of self-doubt and uncertainty, my amazing teacher Gabrielle Bernstein is offering a FREE training series. If you’d like to check it out, click here.

Love, Michelle

8 Things That Are blocking you from happiness

I feel confident that if I were to poll the next 100 people I encounter, and asked them what they truly desire in life, a sweeping majority would reply: happiness. We are all in some sense, striving for happiness—that deep sense of inner peace and knowingness that everything is ok. We all just want to be happy. While many of us strive for happiness, we can lose sight of some of the actions we take daily that actually are counterproductive to our ultimate goal. Whenever I am feeling particularly unhappy, it’s usually due to one of these 8 blocks below. And so, I share them with you this week so you can be more aware, and more in control to take back your own happiness.

Comparison. One of the biggest causes of unhappiness, in my opinion. Comparison leads to so many negative feelings that make happiness seem almost impossible. When stuck in comparison, bring yourself back and remember that we are all here to shine our own unique light, there is no other you in this world, so dwell in that instead.
Regret. Living in the past brings regret. Wondering about the things we could have done differently and how that would have changed our current state. Regret is a drain for happiness. Remember to come back to the now, and trust that what happened in the past brought you to where you are today. Forgive and release what brings you suffering and find joy on the other side.
Uncertainty. Future tripping brings uncertainty and anxiety. There is no way to know how our lives are going to play out, and the unknown can make us feel very uncomfortable. When in this state, it is so important, to come back to the present moment, and rely on faith and trust that your life will unfold exactly as it’s meant to. We have no control anyway, right?
Inability to accept what is. Are you always feeling like the grass is always greener on the other side? When we lose the ability to accept our lives as they are in the present moment, we also lose the ability to find true happiness. Even if in the present moment your life isn’t exactly how you’d imagined it to be, find acceptance so that you can become clear on how to achieve your desires in a positive way.
Judgment. When you judge others, you are judging a part of yourself. What is happy about that? Judgment feels like an innate reaction, but it really brings more unhappiness than it’s worth. Make a commitment to practice non-judgment, seek out love and compassion instead.
Self-Doubt. A huge block to happiness is feelings of unworthiness and lack of self-confidence. Rather than focusing on what you feel you’re lacking in or less than, why not focus on your strengths? Don’t dwell in the lower vibe energy of insecurity; rise above to confidence and personal abundance. Make a list of all your strengths and post it where you can see it daily.
Fear. It’s certainly safe to say that we live in a very fearful world. We see stories on a daily basis that make us feel powerless, scared, and unhappy. Fear serves a purpose in dangerous situations, but the ego mind loves to bring fear into every moment. Whenever you find yourself heading into a fearful place, return back to trust, awareness, and love.
Attachment. Being attached to anything—whether to material items, outcomes of situations, or even people blocks happiness. Essentially, the attachment sends out the energy that you are not complete in your own right. When we are attached we also encompass so many of the other blocks above because we feel we need whatever we are attached to in order to survive. Learn the distinction between attachment and connection. Be connected to people, places, and things, and let go of the desire to attach to them.

What do you feel is blocking you from being truly happy in this moment? What are some of your tips to bring you back to happiness on a daily basis? Let me know!

Love, Michelle

Freedom Through Forgiveness

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover the prisoner was you.”

– Corrie Ten Boom

Forgiveness has come up for me a lot lately. The Universe has brought forth so many situations where I have had a choice; either to choose forgiveness or to suffer in anger and resentment. The quote above by Corrie Ten Boom perfectly describes my thoughts on forgiveness. When we hold onto resentment towards other people for actions they’ve done—whether or not we have any responsibility for it, we are the ones who suffer. Like I say so many times in these blogs, we have zero control over the external world, but we do have control over our own internal, we choose every second of every day our thoughts, our mentality, our happiness, and so we too have the choice to forgive and set ourselves free.

Freedom is something that I crave on a daily basis; I have to feel free. I noticed recently in a situation where I couldn’t forgive, and in return I felt trapped. It was all encompassing, and damaging on so many levels. I knew what I needed to do. Forgiveness is not always easy, and in fact it can feel like the hardest thing in the world to do, but I promise you it’s worth it. Forgiveness does set you free.

Here are some of my steps towards forgiveness; I hope they help you in your forgiving journey!

Be open to the possibility of forgiveness. The first step towards forgiveness is simply opening up your mind to the possibility of it. As we know, our mindset makes a huge impact on our reality.
Set an intention to see the situation differently, look at it with a lens of love. Start to wonder how you can view the situation in the form of a lesson or teaching. View the situation from all sides.
See the other person as yourself. Have compassion for the person that hurt you by remembering hurt people hurt people. When someone wrongs us, it usually has nothing to do with us, but with the traumas that the other person is holding on to.
Release resentments, anger, and hurt through journaling. It’s important to feel your feelings; they are always valid! Once you’ve worked through the emotions, work towards releasing them so that they no longer weigh you down. Journaling or free writing is a great form of release.
Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to forgive someone or even yourself overnight. Don’t judge or criticize the time it takes. Remember to stay positive, keeping in mind your intention to be free.

Is there someone or something you need to forgive so you can feel free? What are some of your steps for forgiveness? Let me know in the comments!

Love, Michelle

How To Have A Peaceful Staycation

For some of us, summer is beginning to wind down and we start to creep into a new season. In the US, summer time is known for being a period of vacation, travel, and ease. As many of you know, I love, love love to travel. Exploring the world lights me up inside. As some of you might not know, I am also a huge homebody. In order to balance out the travel and the highly active outer world, it’s great to devote time to just staying in. Staycations are an amazing way to regroup, rebalance, and reset as a new season approaches us.

Pick a time and stick to it! One thing that always “ruins” my stay-cation: I’m not firm with times and boundaries, leading me living my “everyday” life but not truly relaxing. If you are trying to do a staycation, choose the times, put it in your calendar, let the people in your life know, and stick to it!
Organize your space ahead of time. A real relaxation buzz kill happens when your living space is unorganized or unnecessarily cluttered. Take a little extra time beforehand to try and clear and organize your space so your mind can be more at ease.
Make a list of the fun “at-home” activities you have always wanted to do but have never had the chance. Look at your hometown through the lens of a tourist! Make it playful and have fun exploring!
Make self-care a priority. One of the biggest pitfalls of regular vacations is you usually need a vacation after your vacation! Travel can been draining mentally, physically, and emotionally. The great part about a staycation is you can mentally, emotionally, and physically recharge! Take care of yourself, relax, and soak up all that you can from your time. This is a time of nourishment!
Stay in the present moment. Try not to let thoughts of what is to come post-staycation creep in. Remember, the only moment we ever have is the present moment. Stay present and enjoy!

Do you guys have any plans for an amazing staycation? Any tips for the rest of us at Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life? Let us know!

Love, Michelle

7 Ways to Get out of a Rut

It’s really funny how the topics of my weekly blogs come about. I generally choose topics, ahead of time, that I have experienced or are presently experiencing, to give our graphics designer a chance to create the images. I began this week’s blog and honestly could not believe my eyes. I chose this title a short time ago, and I am always amazed at how synchronistic these blog posts are for my life. I love life! It appears that I sensed that this would be a blog for me to write, getting out of ruts, and what perfect timing it is, because this week I am in a rut, feeling that I need my own advice!

I believe that we go through phases in life, sometimes we are in the flow and everything is amazing, other times we get stuck, caught in fear, stagnant energy, and start to feel like we are stalled, not growing or you guessed it, stuck in a rut. I’ve been feeling this way a bit this week, not because anything bad is happening in my life, but I just don’t seem to have the usual excitement that I’m used to, which doesn’t feel great. Absolutely perfect for us this week. I will show you exactly how I managed to get myself out of this rut, in hopes of helping any of you who may be feeling the same way.

Connect with yourself daily. When I’m connected with myself, I know I can manage whatever comes my way. My daily mediation practice has been my backbone, especially during seemingly difficult times.
Inspire yourself. We often feel like we need something from the outside world to give us inspiration when we’re stuck in ruts, but really it’s the opposite; what can we do to inspire ourselves? Maybe you need to practice more self-care, or read an inspiring book. What in this moment could lift your spirits in a positive way?
Get out of your routine. I have been feeling very much like I’m stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. Routines are really amazing for staying on track, but it’s also important to mix it up every now and again. Even if this means taking a different route to work or changing up your daily breakfast. Give yourself some new options to spruce up your day.
Get in nature. Nature ALWAYS helps me feel better, take some time out of your day to disconnect from technology and go outside.
Focus on the positive. Usually when we are having negative experiences, it’s due to how our minds perceive the experience. Try and flip the switch in the mind from negative to positive. Feel gratitude for what is going well.
Find acceptance. I was feeling frustrated about my life, wanting it to be at a certain place this week; and then I remembered that I am exactly where I need to be in this moment. I found acceptance and ease in what is. Life doesn’t have to be lived at a hundred miles an hour to be great, find acceptance in stillness.
Know that this feeling is not forever. Just like feelings are fleeting so are these phases of “rutness”. Trust that this, too, shall pass and try to find the meaning and the lesson to move forward in greatness.

I hope these are helpful for you guys if you are feeling stuck in a rut! Let me know how you get through challenging times in the comments below! Also, if you’re reading this in real time, I’ll be on the Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life Facebook page today at 2pm EST for a live Q&A. I would love to connect with you there, so please join in! Have a great day!

Love, Michelle

You Can Do It All: How To Manage Stress And To Do Lists

How many times do we tell ourselves we simply don’t have enough time? Just not enough hours in the day, days in the week, months in the year, etc.; you know the drill. I know this is how many of us feel on a daily basis, and this leads to loads and loads of stress. It feels unending; it zaps all of our joy and our sense of ease about life. Can we do it all? I think so, but it requires a willingness to change your perspective on your to-do list mentality. This week I’m going to share with you how I manage to keep my cool, while staying productive and getting stuff done.

Start your day off right: I believe how you start your day sets the tone for the entire day. Many of us leap out of bed, rush to get dressed, eat breakfast on the go, and do our makeup in the car, all while still arriving five minutes late to work. That sentence stressed me out just writing it. What if there was a way to ease into the morning craziness? There is, and it’s meditation. Morning mediation is crucial for daily productivity. Meditation brings a sense of clarity, confidence, and inner peace, all before you leave the house; pretty groovy if you ask me. Many people say they don’t have time to meditate, and if that’s the case, I challenge you to just try five minutes right when you wake up; close your eyes, breathe, and be still. I promise you it will help.
Get organized. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I make a to-do list in my head, I don’t write it down, and then stress out about trying to remember everything I have to do. Why would anyone want to add more stress to their lives by doing this? Mindfully create your to-do lists so your precious brain doesn’t have to work, write it all down, and let it go. My dear friend who is a holistic life coach, Cassandra Bodzak, suggests meditate before writing your to-do lists so you are extra clear. Get centered; write down the things that actually need to get done, and release the filler activities that you think you need to do just to stay busy. You could even write the list in order of importance, so you know what is a requirement and what is slightly less urgent. Maybe even do the radical thing of crossing the last item off the list- after all you have placed it last. Imagine you may end up with a little free time!
Ditch multitasking. We live in a world where multitasking is glorified. How many things can you do at once? In all honesty, this makes you less productive. Or at the very least, it decreases the quality of your work. Try focusing on one task at a time, being diligent, mindful and present. Train your mind not to wander on to something else. Your work quality and productivity will be so much better. Try it- find one place in your life where you can do just one thing at a time and notice how you feel.
Return to Your Breath. Ever have one of those moments where you are in a state of complete overwhelm and don’t know how to fix it? Your breath is your tool for handling what comes at you. Throughout your day you may feel stressed, but it’s so important to remember that you have built-in tools to help you manage and release that stress. You always have time to close your eyes and breathe, no matter what is happening in the moment.
Notice What Zaps Your Energy: Are you doing anything throughout your day that requires energy that really isn’t worth it? For me, it can be social media. Sometimes I get way too sucked into what’s happening on the Internet that I totally forget about my daily tasks. I recently just did a social media detox and it helped my productivity immensely. Start being mindful of where you place your energy and if there are any energetic black holes that you can get rid of.

Here’s my blog on Social Media Detox: http://michellemaros.com/what-i-learn...

Take care of yourself. Perhaps the most important of all is, of course, self-care. You have to take care of yourself to do the other multitude of things you have to do in a given day. We all are pulled in multiple directions on a daily basis, but we have the ability to manage this if we are feeling well in mind, body, and spirit. Make sure you nourish your body with foods that light you up. Take care of your mind and spirit with meditation, journaling, and breathing. Get into a routine that makes you feel good from the inside, so you can go out and tackle the outside.

I hope these tips help you manage stress and feel more productive! I’d love to know how you guys do it too! Let me know in the comments below!

Love, Michelle

How To Get Out Of Your Head And Into Your Heart

While in class my yoga teacher would always remind us, “don’t think too much.” This resonated with me because I usually was thinking way too much, and not in my body being present in the class. As human beings we tend to overthink everything. I can try to think my way through any problem, and when I do, I usually get myself tied into more knots than when I started. We have so many benefits of being an evolved species. We have amazingly capable brains that we use every day taking us through life. As humans, we must use our brains, but we often times forget that we must also use our hearts. We are taught to think our way through problems and situations, which may get you halfway there, but the truth of the matter is, we know the solution to life’s questions in our hearts. There have been so many times when I am dealing with situations big and small, if I take a step back, get out of my head, and into my heart, I immediately know the answer. I know it can seem challenging to bypass the head and get into the heart, because we are not really taught to do this. So this week, I want to share with you my process for moving things from the head and into the heart. I hope you find it helpful!

Meditation: As a daily practice, and in situational circumstances, meditation always gets me out of my head and into my heart. Even if my thoughts are running wild in meditation, I still come out of each sitting feeling more centered and assured. If you are having an issue that you can’t seem to think your way out of, hit the meditation pillow and see what comes up for you.

Journaling: After meditation, if the thoughts seem to persist, journaling is a wonderful tool to purge the thoughts even more. I find it very cathartic, even if I know exactly what I want to write, to get the thoughts out and onto paper. Don’t try to edit or judge what comes out, just let the words flow on to paper. Especially when you are in a very connected state after a meditation, you are channeling source energy deep inside you that can help you connect with how you really feel.

Notice How You Feel in Your Body: When we are too much in our heads we are not aware of the signs that our bodies are giving us. Start to pay attention to what your body tells you; how it’s feeling. If you are excited, do you get butterflies in your stomach? If you are scared, do you start to sweat? Get accustomed to the reactions your body gives you; it is a perfect navigation system on your path in life.

Spend Time in Nature: When all else fails, disconnect from technology and get into nature. I have found that spending so much time on computers and phones, (and let’s face it we all do) tends to take me out of my heart and gets me in my head. When you are feeling really confused and don’t know what the solution is, detach and go outside. It always works wonders for me!

Getting back into your heart is a practice, and no one is perfect! Simply remember everyday to trust your inner guidance and have faith that your heart will guide you each moment on your path. I would love to hear how you follow your heart!

Love, Michelle