Edward Hoornaert's Blog, page 74
January 9, 2016
Effing Feline strides across the galaxy
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, am the most literary cat in the galaxy. That’s right — not just Earth but on all the planets everywhere!
To prove it, I’m presenting another selection from the latest WIP, Alien Contact for Heroines, by my pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine,
After a brief, and impossible, affair with commoner Dusty Johnson, Prince Reese Eaglesbrood withdraws from her — until he is visited in the middle of the night by a lilac-smelling apparition that looks almost exactly like her.
Interpreting the visitation as a warning from the spirit world, Reese runs a mile through the night to her room.
His chest rising and falling, Reese stopped at her bedroom doorway and blurted, “Are you all right, Dusty?”
“Aside from you scaring me out of my wits, yes. What’s the matter?”
“Nothing, I…” He ran a hand over his face and slumped against the rock wall.
“Geez, just tell me quickly and scram so I can get some sleep.”
“Nothing, truly, I just…I had a dream, I guess—a nightmare.”
A shiver shuddered over her spine, but she tried to ignore its icy premonition. “Spooky apparitions standing at the foot of your bed, I suppose,” she scoffed.
“That’s exactly right,” he said, his eyes wide, “but by all the spirits, how did you know?”
Effing Feline again. I figure my claim about being the most literary cat in the galaxy is safe. Being the cat of a science fiction writer, I know that no inhabited planets have ever been discovered, thereby removing the overwhelming majority of my competition. ;-)
Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.
Other science fiction romances in the same series:
When American Indians from the future of an alternate Earth move their entire island nation to our Earth, Seattle biologist Ell Harmon makes the first alien contact and yearns to help the newcomers settle peacefully. But can she hold to that dream during their long quarantine together when she learns that Prince Tro Eaglesbrood has seduced her heart solely for the good of his kingdom?
Marianne Harmon is sick and tired of being just the kid sister of the famous queen of Kwadra Island. Although she daydreams about being a warrior, when rebels bomb the royal ball she’s shunted to one of the many tunnels that honeycomb Kwadra, where she awaits a captain of the valiant Royal Guardians.
Quinn Lebatarde, a scam artist fleeing the police, dons the uniform of a Royal Guardian killed by a tunnel collapse. When Marianne mistakes him for her bodyguard, Quinn can’t decide whether to save the feisty maiden, fall in love with her—or kidnap her. With bloodthirsty rebels pursuing them and a treasure map in his pocket, what will he choose?
January 5, 2016
Top Ten Resolutions for 2016
Top Ten Tuesdays are hosted by The Broke and The Bookish, and feature lists related to all things bookish–characters, authors, titles, and favorites. They’re an excellent way to find new interesting books on a variety of topics, and to connect with bloggers who love the books you do.
As you can tell from the title, today’s theme is top resolutions for the new year. Strictly speaking, I don’t do resolutions — but I do have goals. Here are some of them.
Replenish my to-read pile.
Much to my astonishment, my to-read pile has largely vanished. That never happens; I always have more pages than time … except for now. Weird. I wonder how that happened? Anyway, let’s make this goal more specific: six new books on my pile by the end of the month.
Any suggestions?
Get back in the habit of going to the gym.
Yeah, yeah, I know this is the sort of thing everyone resolves to do. Nonetheless, it’s one of my goals, so I’m committing myself to it in print. (Or electrons. Or whatever.) To be more specific, I’ll go to the gym at least once a week for the rest of January … and hope that’s enough to rebuild the habit.
What’s your favorite form of exercise?
Submit my latest and greatest to traditional publishers.
It’s been years (ten of them; Lord, how time flies) since I had a novel published by anyone but myself or small ebook-only publishers. I think I’ll try again with Newborn, a romantic science fiction book that I think is one of my best.
Wish me luck!
Be more sociable on social media.
Give me a cave with wifi and I’d be happy … but I need to connect more often with people outside of my cave. Like you folks who are reading this. Hi! I’m trying to be specific with my goals so I can accurately judge whether I meet them or not, so let’s say I post at least twice a week to Goodreads, and find another blog hop or meme where science fiction readers hand out.
Any thoughts on where science fiction readers congregate?
Restart my Bookstores I Love feature.
I haven’t highlighted a bookstore for well over a month. Naughty, naughty Ed! I’ll try to get back in the groove, though, with two more posts this month.
What’s your favorite bookstore?
Take a trip to Europe
This one’s a bit less certain that any of the above (except, I’ll admit, for going to the gym). However, my oldest child of four is moving to Amsterdam in the new year, so if finances and health cooperate, this would obviously be the time to go. The last — make than only — time the wife and I went to Europe was when son #2 spent a year in England. Clearly, it takes a distant child to pry us away from North America!
What’s your dream trip for the New Year?
January 2, 2016
Effing Feline survived — whew!
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, lost something precious a few nights ago — sleep. Why? Because there was a lot of shooting in my neighborhood. I survived, though it was extremely close — and I was, of course, extremely brave throughout the ordeal.
My pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine, says there was no shooting. It was fireworks, instead. It’s ridiculously arrogant of him, don’t you think, to assume he knows more than I, a cat?
I’m presenting another selection from Mr V’s latest WIP, Alien Contact for Heroines. The last few snippets have dealt with an apparition who visited Dusty in the middle of the night. Today we jump ahead several days and switch to the POV of the hero, Prince Reese Eaglesbrood. He and Dusty have shared a brief, blistering affair, but he resists becoming emotionally involved with an American commoner.
Maybe he was still asleep, because who did he see on the other side of the room, but Dusty. Her body was clothed only in shadows. She just stood there, saying nothing.
Was this a message? That Dusty was the woman of his dreams?
The dream was remarkably realistic. The bedclothes slid against his body as he shifted position, and when he breathed, he felt his chest’s rise and fall.
Dusty glided toward him — not walked, glided — and a flowery smell accompanied her. Reese’s breath caught as a shaft of light from the window stripped the shadows from her nakedness.
Effing Feline again, hoping that none of you experienced any of that noisy shooting last Thursday. Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.
Other science fiction romances in the same series:
When American Indians from the future of an alternate Earth move their entire island nation to our Earth, Seattle biologist Ell Harmon makes the first alien contact and yearns to help the newcomers settle peacefully. But can she hold to that dream during their long quarantine together when she learns that Prince Tro Eaglesbrood has seduced her heart solely for the good of his kingdom?
Marianne Harmon is sick and tired of being just the kid sister of the famous queen of Kwadra Island. Although she daydreams about being a warrior, when rebels bomb the royal ball she’s shunted to one of the many tunnels that honeycomb Kwadra, where she awaits a captain of the valiant Royal Guardians.
Quinn Lebatarde, a scam artist fleeing the police, dons the uniform of a Royal Guardian killed by a tunnel collapse. When Marianne mistakes him for her bodyguard, Quinn can’t decide whether to save the feisty maiden, fall in love with her—or kidnap her. With bloodthirsty rebels pursuing them and a treasure map in his pocket, what will he choose?
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Ed here. I’m a proud papa of three great sons and one great daughter. One of my offspring gets over a minute and a half air time in this video about redesigning part of Yorkville, Canada’s ritziest neighborhood. Skip directly to 3:20 to see and hear son #3 in action.
What have your children done that makes you proud of them?
December 30, 2015
Smardy Kat pokes fun at science #7
I, Smardy Kat, am back after a happy holiday hiatus! So happy that I’m going to insult you!
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View other Smardy Kat posts.
View posts by Smardy’s cousin, Effing Feline.
What about you? Do you have links to any good science-related jokes?
December 26, 2015
Effing Feline is NOT Garfield
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, am piteously hungry.
Last year my pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine, had turkey for Christmas and I had great leftovers. This year, his family had lasagna, instead. Garfield likes lasagna, but real cats do not like lasagna. I had cat food for Christmas dinner. Cat food! On Christmas!
Despite my growling stomach, I’m presenting another selection from Mr V’s latest WIP. It picks up right after last week’s snippet. Dusty Johnson lives and works at an underground research facility run by alien Kwadrans. One night she awakens to find her brother, Juan, at the foot of her bed — the brother who vanished into another dimension and thus is as good as dead.
“You aren’t Juan,” she repeated. “I bet I’m dreaming of you because today I thought about using my connection with Reese—Prince Eaglesbrood—to ask the Kwadrans to use the ship to search for you.”
The shadow slid backward with none of the jerkiness of footsteps.
She clenched her fists. When fear threatened to overwhelm her, she imagined Reese was with her. That helped.
As though on wheels, the shadow glided out the door and vanished. Very weird dream.
Curious, she slipped out of bed to follow the Not-Juan. At the doorway she paused and looked around — but she saw nothing.
Effing Feline again, wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Picture of me, courtesy of Deposit Photos
Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.
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Just in time for the holidays — a sale!
From now through the end of the year, the The Trilogy of Tompa Lee is on sale. All three full-length science fiction novels are together for the first time in e-book format — and the collection is on sale for only $5.99. So buy now!
The trilogy includes:
The Trial of Tompa Lee
The Tribulations of Tompa Lee
The Triumph of Tompa Lee
December 19, 2015
Effing Feline plays with cat toys
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, the Most Literary Cat in the Entire Universe (c), love my pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine. He put a tree in the house and hung up dozens of shiny cat-toys (ornaments, he calls them). All for me!
In return, I’m presenting another selection from his latest WIP. It picks up right after last week’s snippet.
Dusty Johnson lives and works at an underground research facility run by alien Kwadrans. One night she awakens to find her dead brother at the foot of her bed.
Dead or not, the shadow was indeed her half-brother. Familiar dark hair in need of trimming, familiar gaunt face, and the clincher—a familiar scar above his left eye from a knife fight.
“You aren’t Juan,” Dusty said calmly, because this had to be a dream.
The shadow said nothing.
“Juan was older when he vanished. He looked like this back in high school.”
When he was this age, she’d been starting middle school. After cruising through grade school relatively unscathed, she was suddenly tormented by classmates. In her neighborhood, getting good grades made her a target, and being a shy loner made her easy prey.
She’d survived only because of Juan. He was the tough kid in the family, and he’d taught her a few martial arts moves to use when someone pushed her or knocked her books away.
Effing Feline again. Mr V wants me to wish all of you a merry Christmas. Can I come play with the cat toys hanging on your tree?
Picture of me, courtesy of Deposit Photos
Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.
<< ===== >>
Just in time for the holidays — a sale!
From now through the end of the year, the The Trilogy of Tompa Lee is on sale. All three full-length science fiction novels are together for the first time in e-book format — and the collection is on sale for only $5.99. So buy now!
The trilogy includes:
The Trial of Tompa Lee
The Tribulations of Tompa Lee
The Triumph of Tompa Lee
December 17, 2015
Now available: The Trilogy of Tompa Lee
All three books in one, on sale for only $5.99 through the end of the year. Follow Tompa’s travails through an unfair trial-by-combat, a dangerous national park on another planet, and a flooded alien city as she struggles to survive — and to find the love and acceptance she craves.
Tompa Lee is an attractive, ambitious vagabond. – Arizona Daily Star
The Trial of Tompa Lee
Tompa Lee, a street girl who has clawed her way up to the lowest rung of the Commerce Space Navy, becomes a pawn of interplanetary politics when she is framed for a heinous crime on another planet. By herself, Tompa cannot survive the overwhelming odds in her trial-by-combat — but can she learn to trust not only the policeman who arrested her, but a member of the alien race that wants to slaughter her?
A wonderful writer, Ed Hoornaert draws the reader into the story from page one and holds the reader captive until the very last word. LoveRomances.com
The Tribulations of Tompa Lee
Tompa Lee serves as ambassador to the Shons’ planet and is hailed as their goddess … but she has a dead man living in her head, distrusts fellow humans, and fears an imminent attack by Klicks, mankind’s greatest enemy.
Lord Keevie, the leader of warlike Klick missionaries, wants to drive humans off Zee Shode … but above all he wants to eviscerate Tompa in person, because killing a goddess will surely make him a god.
Ed Hoornaert is a marvelous writer: a terrific, engrossing storyteller and a consummate stylist. – Robert J. Sawyer, Hugo-Award winning author
The Triumph of Tompa Lee
When Tompa Lee forges a forbidden alliance between three species, the Galactic Trading Council hires Lily Kilsing, earth’s most feared bounty hunter, to deal with her. Kilsing lures Tompa to a deserted alien city by kidnapping her fiancé and her best friend. Can Tompa kill the huntress–or will she be forced to sacrifice her own life to save her loved ones?
A wonderfully built world. The ability to spin something believable enough that we engage but wild enough that our imaginations can run wild is a brilliant skill that Hoornaert has in spades. – 5-star Amazon review by John J. Staughton
Find this book at:
Amazon
Amazon.ca
Smashwords
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
December 12, 2015
Effing Feline has nightmares
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, the Most Literary Cat in the Entire Universe (c), am presenting another selection from the latest WIP by my pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine.
Dusty Johnson lives and works at an underground research facility run by alien Kwadrans. One night she awakens to find a stranger in her bedroom.
“Who are you?” Dusty asked the person standing at the foot of her bed, “and what…what do you want from me?”
The silhouette didn’t answer, didn’t budge, didn’t move a single muscle. Shivering with dread, she strained to see details. The only light came from the open door, and it cast the intruder’s face in shadow. He—oh God, it was definitely a he—smelled like lilacs.
As though on wheels, the shadow glided back; then it stopped and waited, motionless, ominous. Dusty whirled to turn on her bedside lamp, yanked the sheet up to her neck, and blinked furiously, trying to will her pupils to contract.
It looked exactly like her brother, Juan…but it couldn’t be.
Juan was dead.
Effing Feline again. This snippet reminds me of the time I woke from a nap to find a horrible monster sleeping in the same room with me. It was a DOG!!! I had nightmares for weeks! Okay, not weeks, but minutes, for certain.
Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.
December 7, 2015
Holiday Hop and a cover reveal
Just in time for Christmas, Mr Valentine (aka Edward Hoornaert) releases The Trilogy of Tompa Lee, complete for the first time in one volume. The trilogy of science fiction with romantic elements includes the following full-length books. Click on a title to learn more about it.
The Trial of Tompa Lee (Amazon bestseller)
The Tribulations of Tompa Lee
The Triumph of Tompa Lee
And here for the first time is the cover of the new release:
The new release might not be quite as sweet a deal as the Christmas cookies I bake every year, but it’s pretty close.
Yes, I, a guy, bake the Christmas cookies in our household. They are a family tradition begun by my mother many years ago. I used to help her — it takes skill to lick the spoon properly — and when I got married I knew that if I wanted to continue the tradition I’d have to do it myself.
So I do. And here they are, from me to you. Enjoy!
And be sure to check out the Christmas wishes from other folks on the blog hop!
December 4, 2015
Effing Feline, NaNoWriMo #4
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, am delighted that NaNoWriMo is over. I may get the petting I deserve, now that my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, finished the draft of Alien Contact for Heroines — all 69,472 words of it.
I have chosen another selection from Heroines. The hero, Reese, has just kissed the heroine, Dusty, for the first … unaware that someone has posted a huge bounty for Reese’s capture.
“Dusty,” he said as he took a deep breath, “I—”
A cat’s screech interrupted them. Priscilla sprinted underneath their bench and across the open space.
Reese shot to his feet. “What the—”
He didn’t finish. Three men with hooded faces sprang from the darkness of a nearby street and threw a huge net over him.
Dusty screamed. She reached toward the nearest assailant, her hands bent into claws, wishing she didn’t trim her nails in order to type better because longer nails would let her dig them deep into the man’s neck and face.
But then a net landed hard on her head.
Effing Feline again. This is the third appearance of the book’s true heroine, the cat, Priscilla. The stupid human characters don’t realize in time that Priscilla is warning them. Humph!
Mr Valentine (aka Ed) wants me to tell you he may be a bit tardier than usual in commenting on other warriors’ posts. He’s playing two concerts this weekend, both out of town, and isn’t sure how much computer time he’ll get.
Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.
Alien Contact for Heroines will be Book 4 in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. Reese and a couple of other characters also appeared in Alien Contact for Kid Sisters.
“Fleeing bloodthirsty rebels, the queen’s sister finds a hero to save her … or is he kidnapping her, instead?”
