Edward Hoornaert's Blog, page 72
February 27, 2016
Effing Feline loves cartoons
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, have discovered the most wonderful cartoon every penned. Click the thumbnail below to behold the cartoon and bow down to its ultimate feline truth:
Today I’m selecting a snippet from Escapee, the upcoming science fiction romance by my pet human, Ed Hoornaert (aka Mr Valentine). Mr V likens this book to The African Queen in outer space. This scene compares to Humphrey Bogart returning to the destroyed mission where he’ll rescue Katherine Hepburn … except the role of grizzled supply ship captain is taken by Catteroon (Catt) Sayers, and she’s about to rescue the hero. Lance is her android copilot.
Never before had Catt gotten to Castle Mountain ahead of schedule. Of course, never before had her last supply stop, Rundle City, been reduced to bloody rubble.
For the last two hundred miles, she’d hidden under the cloud cover, taking advantage of rare calm weather. Now she fought the unresponsive command box to lift Escapee into the clear upper air. When they were free of the clouds, she hesitated before issuing her next command, afraid of what she might see.
“Amplify Castle Mountain.”
“Amplifying Castle Mountain visual,” Lance responded.
Seconds later, after the viewscreen flickered to life, Catt stared at utter devastation. She swallowed hard, hoping her lunch would stay down.
Effing Feline again. Great cattoon, eh?
Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors and Sunday Snippets folks.
February 20, 2016
Effing Feline despairs of humankind
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, scorn the fickle ways of humankind. Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine, has put Future Love on hold until summer. We cats don’t do things like that. If we plan to nap, we nap. If we plan to eat, we eat. None of this simian shilly-shallying.
But it turns out Mr V’s finally gotten a release date for Escapee. It would’ve interfered with releasing Future Love next month, so this will be its last snippet for a while. Humans are capricious, incomprehensible creatures, know what I mean?
Here an incomprehensible human thinks about the church where he met Laila at the Last Supper picnic.
I believe in God, not religion. The church people treated me so nicely, though, that I pretended to myself that I believed.
Or do I now disbelieve because I’m afraid I’ll go to Hell?
Am I already there?
They won’t let me in church anymore. I let Them down, They said when I revisited the church lawn, now withered and brown. They acted like I couldn’t hear. Having a Voice in the congregation had brought prestige and credibility to the fledgling Church of Nanotechnology. When I lost my Voice, I let Them down.
And beyond that dead winter grass, Mount Baker lay hidden behind endless grey storm clouds.
Effing Feline again. For those who care, here’s a picture of Mt. Baker, the “arrow pointing the way to heaven,” floating above the horizon. Though why you’d care, I don’t know. There’s no mice in all that snow. So why bother?
Photo by Ed Wiebe, UVic Climate Lab
Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors and Sunday Snippets folks.
February 16, 2016
Top Ten Literary Music
Top Ten Tuesdays are hosted by The Broke and The Bookish. The blog hop features lists related to all things bookish–characters, authors, titles, and favorites. They’re an excellent way to find new interesting books on a variety of topics, and to connect with bloggers who love the books you do.
This week’s top ten is all about books and music. That should be easy for me, since I’m an avid reader, author — and a symphonic musician.
I play the oboe, and I squeeze in mentions of the oboe whenever I can in my own books. Here are a few of the pieces of music I’ve played in orchestras or bands, inspired by literature.
Candide, by Voltaire
This strange little book is perhaps the most cynical tale I’ve ever read–yet it has an optimistic ending. I recommend the book–and the operetta of the same name by Leonard Bernstein.
As it happens, I’m playing the Candide Suite with the Arizona Symphonic Winds next month.
Hansel and Gretel, by the Brothers Grimm
A fairy tale as literature? Close enough for a Top Ten List!
The tale inspired an opera by Engelbert Humperdinck–not the pop singer of a few decades ago, but a German composer who is known solely for this one piece of music. A one-hit wonder, you might say.
I first played this overture with the Okanagan Symphony many years ago, and I’ve also played it recently with the Civic Orchestra of Tucson. Fun piece, very reminiscent of Wagner in places.
Pelleas and Melisande, by Maurice Maeterlinck
Okay, okay; I know this play is pretty obscure. However, a hundred-odd years ago, it was all the rage, and it inspired some of the greatest stage music of its era. Debussy used it for his only opera. Sibelius, Schoenberg, and Faure all wrote incidental music for stage performances — the movie music of a different age.
Here’s Faure’s Spinning Song in a poor recording that doesn’t do justice to the marvelous (ahem!) oboe playing of yours truly.
The Civic Orchestra of Tucson performed this piece in an outdoor bandshell and not a recording studio, which explains the poor sound quality. This is the only recording here on which I play, BTW.
A Midsummer Night’s Dream, by Shakespeare
This is my favorite Shakespearean comedy. I’m afraid that’s not saying much, because I don’t care for his comedies. A couple years ago, my wife and I saw a great performance at Stratford — the one in Ontario, famous these days as Justin Bieber’s hometown.
Felix Mendelssohn wrote a great overture for this play when he was just 17. That is very impressive. Also disgusting. I’m jealous.
I’ve played this piece in at least three different orchestras, starting with the University of Chicago Symphony. I say at least because it’s such a common piece that I may have forgotten a performance or two.
Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare
‘Nuff said — everybody knows Romeo and Juliet. It has inspired more music than any other play that I’m aware of. Here’s a selection from a ballet by my favorite composer, Prokofiev.
When I was with the Kamloops Symphony Orchestra, we played selections from this ballet.
Harry Potter, by J.K. Rowling
The books inspired the movies, which inspired some interesting music by probably the greatest movie composer of our time, John Williams. The Harry Potter music isn’t his greatest, but it’s still pretty evocative.
The Civic Orchestra of Tucson has run through this piece a few times, though we haven’t played it in a performance.
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I could go on and on, because great literature has always inspired great music. I could, but I won’t.
Be sure to check out fascinating top tens by other bloggers.
February 13, 2016
Effing Feline likes Valentines
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf
I, Effing Feline, was gratified last week when Teresa worried about my poor paws getting sore from all the typing that Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine, forces me to do. You care about me, Teresa — so will you be my valentine?
However, I must admit that I don’t do my own typing — I’m above such menial tasks. Here’s my secretary, hunting and pecking at today’s blog post:
Image courtesy Deposit Photos. All rights reserved.
Overseeing her work is my cousin, Willie. He’s been known to chase after the secretary — the naughty boy!
Today’s snippet continues from where last week’s snippet left off. It’s from a soon-to-be-released book called Future Love, Mr V’s upcoming science fiction short story collection. This particular story, Devil, Devil was a winner in an annual contest run by On Spec, a science fiction magazine.
“Hello. My name is Laila.”
Around us, people mingle in threes and fours on the church lawn, holding disposable plates as they nibble at their Last Supper. Behind Laila, the white cone of Mount Baker on the mainland floats like a halo around her head.
I know, I know—that’s an illusion. The low mountains at the volcano’s base are hidden by haze and the earth’s curvature, creating the illusion of floating mountain and angelic halo. But I have lived my life, amphibian-like, in dual worlds of reason and marvel, without one ever seeming to negate the other. And if God can make mountains float, whatever the scientific explanation, what other miracles might He perform?
Such as having the most gorgeous woman at the Last Supper picnic introduce herself to me.
Effing Feline again. A devil who believes in God and goes to church … that’s as odd as a typing budgie. What will Mr V think of next?
Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors and Sunday Snippets folks.
February 12, 2016
Valentine Sale, part 5
(and a free reward)
This is a very special week for Mr Valentine, aka Ed Hoornaert. Did you know I’m a certifiable Harlequin hero, as well as an author? I inspired a book by NYT bestselling author Vicki Lewis Thompson.
In honor of this special week, I’ll be highlighting some great romance books by friends from the Futuristic, Fantasy, and Paranormal branch of the RWA. Check back everyday this week for more great books by your favorite authors and your favorites-to-be.
Best of all, the books are only 99 cents or less — and you can get a reward, free for the asking. For details on the reward, see the end of this post.
Intuition (Psychic Crossroads, Book 2), by Anna Durand
Torn apart by their haunted pasts, Grace Powell and her fiancé David Ransom are struggling to reclaim their passionate bond and build a normal life — one without danger and paranormal powers. But David can’t renounce his obsession with hunting down Karl Tesler, who abducts and tortures psychics. David endured Tesler’s tactics himself, but despite what Grace believes, he’s not out for revenge.
Tesler covets her unprecedented abilities and her mysterious connection to a source of limitless psychic power. David will do anything — even abandon and lie to her — to protect Grace from Tesler.
With a psychic stalker on her trail, Grace charges into a desperate mission to uncover the truth about David’s obsession. But Tesler’s agents are closing in on her, and a terrifying new enemy is rising…
As events drive Grace and David toward a battle of epic proportions, they must risk everything — their relationship, their lives, and even their souls — to defeat an enemy who wields unspeakable psychic power.
“A twisting and turning plot that keeps a reader on the edge of their seat. Intuition is a page-turner and up-late reader!”–InD’Tale Magazine
Amazon
iBooks
Barnes & Noble
Kobo
Alien Contact for Idiots, by Edward Hoornaert
When American Indians from the future move their entire island nation to our Earth, Ell Harmon makes the first alien contact. The take-charge Seattle biologist has yearned to find intelligent aliens, and her dream comes true when she meets Prince Tro Eaglesbrood.
Ell and Tro are quarantined together, while the fearful world wonders whether the newcomers are friends or foes, neighbors or conquerors. Ell knows Tro is honorable and Kwadrans are peaceful … but how to convince the world?
They broadcast a show, which she flippantly titles Alien Contact for Idiots. Every day, Ell interviews Tro and tries to humanize Kwadrans. The show is wildly popular, and the romance developing on-screen between Ell and Tro reassures the world. If a smart woman like her can fall for a Kwadran, they must not be monsters, right?
But Tro’s duty lies with his people, and soon that duty threatens not only the show but Ell’s heart — as well as the peace and survival of our world.
Amazon — Amazon Canada — Amazon UK — Amazon Australia
Smashwords
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
And now your Reward
All you have to do is leave a comment (any comment) on any two of this week’s Valentine Sale posts and you will receive a free electronic copy of Alien Contact for Kid Sisters, book two in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. So bookmark this blog and stop back often!
View other Valentine’s Sale posts
February 11, 2016
Valentine’s Sale, part 4
(and a free reward)
This is a very special week for Mr Valentine, aka Ed Hoornaert. Did you know I’m a certifiable Harlequin hero, as well as an author? I inspired a book by NYT bestselling author Vicki Lewis Thompson.
In honor of this special week, I’ll be highlighting some great romance books by friends from the Futuristic, Fantasy, and Paranormal branch of the RWA. Check back every day this week for more great books by your favorite authors and your favorites-to-be.
Best of all, the books are only 99 cents or less — and you can get a reward, free for the asking. For details on the reward, see the end of this post.
Candy’s Cupid, by Ruby Madden
Candy is a hardworking attorney that has next to no social life. Her friend has taken drastic steps to help her out since Candy is flirting with the idea of starting an affair with a married man.
Help comes in the form of Casey, called and nick-named Cupid, by his friends and clients. As an escort, he plays by the rules, providing company for his clients, truly only wining and dining them, and leaving the arrangement chaste.
Candy manages to figure out what her friend is up to and decides to push Cupid’s limits. It’s a matter of time, and a battle of wills, until the handcuffs come out.
Amazon
Stormy Peril, by Victoria Pinder
Lost meets a contemporary gothic romance.
Kimberly Mira has spent her adult life learning to forgive herself for her past mistakes. She teaches yoga, she mediates on the beach, but she’d never called home. Upon receiving a wedding invitation to her sister’s wedding, she chooses to finally return. She intends to ask her mother and sister to forgive her for running away. She asks friends’ for a ride, but the plane is hijacked and crashes into the Atlantic Ocean.
Kimberly thought she must be dead, but then she wakes up in a medieval castle on an island off the coast of Maine. She meets Raphael, a man who saved her life but doesn’t speak to her. He’s just as mysterious as the castle he lives in, but he is keeping her alive from her assassins who are outside the castle walls. Raphael’s secrets can destroy everything, and she’s fighting her attraction to him. As her enemies close in, Kimberly finds herself unable to trust. Raphael refuses to communicate with the outside world to seek out any help even as their very lives are at stake. As the threat becomes deadly, Kimberly realizes she must uncover Raphael’s secrets. She must know what happened, no matter where the clues lead. Her life hangs in the balance. How far will she go to save herself and the man she’s falling hard for? Can his past be forgiven? Can they survive as the castle is sieged? Can they fall in love?
Amazon
And now your Reward
All you have to do is leave a comment (any comment) on any two of this week’s Valentine Sale posts and you will receive a free electronic copy of Alien Contact for Kid Sisters, book two in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. So bookmark this blog and stop back often!
View other Valentine’s Sale posts
February 10, 2016
Valentine’s Sale, part 3
(and a free reward)
This is a very special week for Mr Valentine, aka Ed Hoornaert. Did you know I’m a certifiable Harlequin hero, as well as an author? I inspired a book by NYT bestselling author Vicki Lewis Thompson.
In honor of this special week, I’ll be highlighting some great romance books by friends from the Futuristic, Fantasy, and Paranormal branch of the RWA. Check back every day this week for more great books by your favorite authors and your favorites-to-be.
Best of all, the books are only 99 cents or less — and you can get a reward, free for the asking. For details on the reward, see the end of this post.
Stockholm Diaries, Caroline, by Rebecca Hunter
A Swedish pro hockey player with a rough reputation meets an American looking for a taste of adventure in a steamy twist of travel and romance. Will they be able to overcome his dark past and her uncertain future to turn their sensual nights into something more?
Photographer Caroline Mendoza finally sheds her safe life in Michigan for adventure and a fresh start, and her first stop is Sweden. But Stockholm suddenly becomes more than just a casual stopover when Caroline discovers her reclusive next-door neighbor is ex-Red Wings player Niklas Almquist, whose high-profile alpha bad-boy image, both on and off the ice, has followed him back to Sweden.
While Niklas’s darker side draws her to him, she knows the sensible decision is to move on from Stockholm before she gets too attached. Her time in Stockholm is running out. She must choose between what is safe and what her heart tells her is right. Is she strong enough to take the risk?
$.99 on Kindle, FREE on Kindle Unlimited!
The Exiled Jeweler, by Susie Warren
A reclusive designer faces an embarrassing scandal and the clever billionaire who caused her disgrace
He betrayed her once, but now he has a second chance with her…
Billionaire Alex Armanti owns a wildly successful auction house in Los Angeles and his striking looks along with his business savvy encourage a celebrity status among the rich and famous in California.
Emilia Berceto’s quiet nature captured his attention when she attended a gala at his mansion in Los Angeles. A few stolen kisses turned into something more and images secretly captured of her partially nude were released in the tabloids. Her overly protective family sent her far away.
Emilia continued to live a secluded life designing custom jewelry until her family’s jewelry empire falls into bankruptcy. There are rumors Alex Armanti intends to purchase the family owned business for a fraction of the value. When she’s reunited with Alex, there is an incredible passion that still simmers between them. With her family’s business at stake, she must choose between their insatiable attraction and keeping her legacy.
Amazon
And now your Reward
All you have to do is leave a comment (any comment) on any two of this week’s Valentine Sale posts and you will receive a free electronic copy of Alien Contact for Kid Sisters, book two in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. So bookmark this blog and stop back often!
View other Valentine’s Sale posts
February 9, 2016
A Culture Addicted to FREE—How FREE is Poisoning the Internet & Killing the Creatives
I almost never reblog, but this post resonates so very deeply with me.
It’s funny, at various junctures I’ve felt propelled to tackle certain topics, even when that made me very unpopular. My biggest leviathan to date has been this notion of artists being expected to work for free, and I believe the reason that this topic is weighing so heavily on me is that, for the first time in years I’m no longer enthusiastic about our future.
In fact, I’m downright frightened, because of THIS.
I Feel Sick
Yesterday morning on my Facebook, a friend shared this open letter to Oprah Winfrey from a local performer in the Bay Area, Revolva, whose act caught the attention of mega-icon Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah was holding The Life You Want conference and the producers contacted Revolva to see if she would like to perform as part of a conference featuring mega-stars like Deepak Chopra and Elizabeth Gilbert.
At first, Revolva was over the moon.
OMG! OPRAH!…
View original post 3,130 more words
Valentine Sale, part 2
(and a free reward)
This is a very special week for Mr Valentine, aka Ed Hoornaert. Did you know I’m a certifiable Harlequin hero, as well as an author? I inspired a book by NYT bestselling author Vicki Lewis Thompson.
In honor of this special week, I’ll be highlighting some great romance books by friends from the Futuristic, Fantasy, and Paranormal branch of the RWA. Check back every day this week for more great books by your favorite authors and your favorites-to-be.
Best of all, the books are only 99 cents or less — you can get a reward, free for the asking. For details on the reward, see the end of this post.
Some Enchanted Waltz, by Lily Silver
Fey Time Travel Series, Book One
When a violent storm spawns power outages, radio DJ Tara O’Neill must keep broadcasting severe warnings to local residents without electrical power. As the storm intensifies and dead air devours the airwaves, Tara must reboot the transmitter to get back on the air. Lightning strikes as Tara reboots the system, hurtling her through time.
Lord Dillon needs a bride, immediately, to escape his enemy’s snare. He has always respected the Fairy Race. As a boy, he played with them in the secret glen and was warned that one day he would be called upon to shelter one of their own who has lost her way among mortals.
Tara appears just when he needs her, a strange woman with no memory; a wounded woman needing his protection. A beguiling woman with fey features and a strange tattoo of fairy wings across her back.
Tara is from 200 years in the future. Will she remember the events of the Irish Rebellion of 1798 and prevent her lover from dying for a cause destined to fail?
Amazon
KOBO
itunes
Barnes and Noble Nook
Moon Borne by Rachael Slate
She’ll either enslave his heart…or tear it out.
As an Amazon warrior, a slave is the last thing Kyme would ever willingly become. At least before the slaver Arsenius threatens her sisters. To protect them, she agrees to be his captive and plans to slit his throat the moment she gets the chance. Though she’s determined to hate Arsenius, the unexpected kindness of his touch and the growing passion between them stay her knife. He’s a man so dangerous she just might dare to trust him.
He’s endured every torture, except the one that could actually break him.
For Arsenius, his mission was simple—capture and deliver one of the fiercest Amazon warriors, Kyme. In exchange, he’ll receive the location of the sister he’s spent years searching for. But Kyme’s selfless dedication to the goddess Artemis entrances him. Her pure existence is so different from his dark past and the bleak life he now leads. When Kyme becomes master and his heart the slave, nothing will stop Arsenius from failing his mission.
Sometimes, the surest path to freedom is forged in ecstasy…
Possessing Kyme as his slave isn’t enough. Arsenius wants more. When the gods intervene, they’ll risk more than their duty to the past to be together… Yet never has surrender been so sweet.
Amazon US
Amazon UK
B&N
Kobo
iBooks
And now your Reward
All you have to do is leave a comment (any comment) on any two of this week’s Valentine Sale posts and you will receive a free electronic copy of Alien Contact for Kid Sisters, book two in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. So bookmark this blog and stop back often!
View other Valentine’s Sale posts
February 7, 2016
Valentine Sale, part 1
(and a free)
This is a very special week for Mr Valentine, aka Ed Hoornaert. Did you know I’m a certifiable Harlequin hero, as well as an author? I inspired a book by NYT bestselling author Vicki Lewis Thompson.
In honor of this special week, I’ll be highlighting some great romance books by friends from the Futuristic, Fantasy, and Paranormal branch of the RWA. Check back everyday this week for more great books by your favorite authors and your favorites-to-be.
Best of all, the books are only 99 cents or less — and you can get a reward, free for the asking. For details on the reward, see the end of this post.
Alien Contact for Idiots, by Edward Hoornaert
When American Indians from the future move their entire island nation to our Earth, Ell Harmon makes the first alien contact. The take-charge Seattle biologist has yearned to find intelligent aliens, and her dream comes true when she meets Prince Tro Eaglesbrood.
Ell and Tro are quarantined together, while the fearful world wonders whether the newcomers are friends or foes, neighbors or conquerors. Ell knows Tro is honorable and Kwadrans are peaceful … but how to convince the world?
They broadcast a show, which she flippantly titles Alien Contact for Idiots. Every day, Ell interviews Tro and tries to humanize Kwadrans. The show is wildly popular, and the romance developing on-screen between Ell and Tro reassures the world. If a smart woman like her can fall for a Kwadran, they must not be monsters, right?
But Tro’s duty lies with his people, and soon that duty threatens not only the show but Ell’s heart — as well as the peace and survival of our world.
Amazon — Amazon Canada — Amazon UK — Amazon Australia
Smashwords
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
Deceit and Lies, by A.K. Michaels
The Black Rose is a highly trained assassin, she kills with impunity if the target deserves such a sentence. Unfortunately, far too many do. In a post-apocalyptic world her services are in dire need.
Vampires, Werewolves, Demons, and a host of other species now run free upon the earth and some of them were downright evil. She tasks herself with dealing with wrongdoers whenever she can. She is strong, fearless and powerful. An anomaly, probably the only Witch/Wolf hybrid left alive. She shields herself from detection. If anyone knew she has Witch DNA they would all come after her and she couldn’t take such a horde on and live.
The Black Rose will strike again for the good of humanity. It’s what she believes she’s been born to do and she will tackle this as she does all of her missions; with deadly intent. There’d be no difference this time. Would there? Or is the dangerous Vampire, Cassius Allarde, not all that he seems?
Come follow Rose’s journey as she fights to find out the truth. About the Demon, the Vampire and the Witch hunt that destroyed most of her kind.
Amazon
Google Play
iTunes
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
And Now the Reward
All you have to do is leave a comment, any comment, on two of this week’s Valentine Sale posts and you will receive a free electronic copy of Alien Contact for Kid Sisters, book two in the Alien Contact for Idiots series. So bookmark this blog and stop back often!
View other Valentine’s Sale posts
